got dam

all according to plan indeed huh

Kris’ Defense (tldr :)

So lately I had been feeling increasingly indifferent toward Kris.  I mean don’t get me wrong, he’ll always be my main man, but he was pretty much hanging on by a thread as my ultimate bias because of nolstalgia and because I’m loyal af.  He just hasn’t been doing all that much stuff in the public eye that peaked my interest (i.e. he’s mostly been making appearances at Chinese public festivals) and props to him for being able to lead the life he wants to without having to constantly be in the public eye but that’s a rant for another day. He’s existing in the world somewhere and knowing that makes me happy, but I havent’ been investing much time or energy in him lately compared to other k-idols, to the point that I found myself questioning if he was still my ultimate bias.  BUT.  BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED.

I’ve been getting into podcasts lately and there’s this one that I’ve been listening to about k-pop.  It’s not about the two hosts just fangirling over their biases because that would be boring af to listen to.  It’s highly researched and informative and they basically examine all these nuanced and intricate aspects of the k-pop industry and just go into detail abut it and it’s so fascinating.  I was so looking forward to their ‘Contracts Disputes’ episode to see what all they’d say about Kris’ situation.  I was fully expecting them to be like, “So Kris reportedly had this physical health condition and shame on you SM for not taking care of your idols.  The end.  Next.” But no.

As someone who has done a shit-tone of research on topics that I am passionate about, the most sure-fire way to offend me is to basically say to me about one of those topics, “I’ve looked into this issue for all of five minutes  and because I took the time to look into it for five minutes I am obviously the expert on this topic and am going to school you on this” when it’s a topic that I have literally done five weeks of research on and the person proceeds to get most of the details wrong.  Yeah, so this was one of those times.  I sat there in numb shock listening to the hosts basically proceed to trash Kris.

They pretty much started by saying, “When Kris first issued his statement about trying to terminate his contract, he just threw out some random medical diagnosis of myocarditis as a reason he was terminating his contract but then in an interview in 2017 he cited the reason as being creative differences so his story changed over time and that’s shady.”  They basically accused him of lying in his initial statement.  However, their statement was a gross misrepresentation of the facts.  First of all, they make it seem like Kris randomly mentioned the medical diagnosis in passing without much forethought as though it was some random post on his social media account.  But this was an official statement released by Kris’ lawyers on behalf of Kris which means that Kris didn’t unilaterally decide on what to include in the statement but was receiving legal guidance on what to say.  And why would his lawyers advise him to lie about something personal like a medical diagnosis in such a public way???  Including a medical diagnosis in his statement (especially if it was a lie) was very risky because it polarized the issue and even caused the majority of k netizens to accuse him of trying to play the sympathy card.

Second, the ladies in the podcast act like his story changed over time.  This is also inaccurate.  In his original statement, Kris cited BOTH his health issues and artistic/creative differences as being reasons for his termination lawsuit. From then on out he nevet mentioned his myocarditis diagnosis again.  Why? BECAUSE MAYBE HE DIDN’T WANT TO GO ON PUBLIC RECORD TRASHING HIS FORMER COMPANY, AND BY EXTENSION ALL OF K-POP, YEARS AFTER THE FACT.  That actually kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? Maybe he was trying to take the high road and not drag SM’s name through the mud years after the fact but actually help SM save face a little, a courtesy that they never returned to him. In his statement, Kris stated that his side would give no further comment about the situation since it was still pending at the time, yet Kris has continued to take the high road years after the contract dispute has been settled.  When he is asked about the situation in an interview, he cites artistic differences but has never breathed a word about his myocarditis diagnosis. That doesn’t mean that his initial statement on his medical diagnosis was not true, but that he simply chose to not talk about that reason for his termination in future public conversations going forward.  What would you have wanted him to say anyway?  “Yeah I left SM because they literally wouldn’t let me fucking take care of my fucking health even after I literally got a fucking diagnosis that could have fucking killed me if not properly treated.”  Because from what I’ve seen that’s basically what happened.  So let’s dig into that a little bit, shall we? I’m not going off of Kris’ word alone.

I lived through this whole lawsuit/counter lawsuit/contract termination fiasco as a Kris bias so in real time as it was happening, I was digging into the far recesses of the internet to find out more details about the situation (some of which may very well no longer be available on the internet today) and it didn’t take long to scratch the surface to reveal the cesspool that was how SM was treating Kris.  Kris’ Chinese fans who saw him promoting in China every day were vocal even before the lawsuit about the many ways SM management employees were treating Kris increasingly vindictively, even compared to the other Chinese members, in the months leading up to the lawsuit (which fits with Kris’ timeline given in his statement concerning him trying to address the artistic differences with the company, and then the company responded this way because SM is a vindictive pos company).  And this is on top of SM already being notorious for treating their Chinese members badly (see Super Junior’s Hangeng’s statements about those dynamics after he left SM).  It’s not racism necessarily, it’s just that the proper labor unions haven’t been set up between the two countries for Chinese working in Korea (it’s a whole thing), so SM basically treats them however because they can.  Beyond that, getting into the specifics of his diagnosis, there were pictures of Kris at a heart specialist in China.  There were also pictures of several occasions where Kris was carrying heart medication.  There were rampant rumors among Kris’ Chinese fans of his bad physical health such as him throwing up in the bathroom before or after performances. But all of the worst of this was happening over in China, with k netizens neither knowing the full details nor caring to get acquainted with them.  After his lawsuit came out, there were videos posted and gifs posted showing Kris clutching at his chest after performances or running just offstage immediately after performances leaning over his knees and pounding his chest (I don’t know how much of that is still available on the internet today).  I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a special kind of hell if you ask me.  So yes, I believe he was being honest in his official statement.  

On a slightly less offensive note, the ladies on this podcast when on to say, “yeah when we watched EXO’s Showtime (a documentary-style TV show) we weren’t impressed with Kris.  Sometimes he would choose to have fun and interact with the members, but most of the time he just kind of acted like he was better than everyone else and deserved more than he was getting.”  Ok so now they are judging his personality which is also highly offensive.  In more recent Chinese interviews, Kris has gone on record saying that he’s reserved and can come across as being aloof when he first meets someone but when he feels comfortable around them he can get very talkative and engaged.  He’s basically saying he’s and introvert.  Seeing him through this introvert frame-of-reference makes all his interactions with the other EXO members and his pattern of behavior on EXO’s Showtime make sense.  In fact, what originally drew me to Kris was seeing his behavior on EXO’s Showtime and how his reactions to situations were exactly how I would have reacted if I had been in his shoes.  A long roadtrip to the sea? I’ll be in the back sleeping, thanks.  Already met my peopling quota for today several hours ago, thanks.  Or the fact that he would literally zone out all the time (and he was notorious for that in general).  To me, that showed that in that moment, his brain was overstimulated from constantly have to be in the spotlight and interact.  Those of us who are introverts can be easily be misunderstood as being stuck-up or snobby when the truth is we are simply tired out from being around people. If you can’t leave the situation, what other option do you have but to zone out?  

Also, his physical health dynamics could have played a part in how frequently he zoned out.  If you have never dealt with a chronic physical health concern you CANNOT understand the degree to which it can impact you mentally and emotionally.  The fear of the unknown.  Its ongoing nature.  Worrying about a flare-up.  Trying to decide how to best handle it when you are in the middle of a flare-up (is this actually a flare-up or am I just over-interpreting my body?  Should I ignore it or go through the hassle of going to the doctor this time?).  Some days it’s not on your mind at all, but other days it’s constantly in the back of your mind, pulling you away from being able to be fully present.

The final mistake I noticed from the podcast is how they portrayed Kris’ home life situation.  THEY EVEN GOT THAT FUCKING WRONG (which at this point should have hardly been surprising to me, honestly).  They said mostly as an anecdotal side comment to try to make sense of Kris’ pattern of behavior on EXO’s Showtime, “When Kris filed his lawsuit, his dad also ended up issuing a statement that was all like ‘my son deserves better than to be in EXO’ so I’m just wondering if Kris was listening to his dad a lot and that attitude impacted how he interacted with the other EXO members.”  As if Kris and his dad were pal-ing around on the weekends. Yeah, no.  Kris has gone on record numerous times throughout his career stating that he has only met his dad a handful of times in his entire life (which the podcast ladies would have known if they had done a simple google search). He was raised by his single mother, dirt poor.  Not an entitled bone in his body.  He simply expected to be treated like a human being, not a work horse.  (I don’t remember if his dad did issue a statement or not but regardless, his dad had zero influence over Kris’ interaction with the other EXO members or Kris leaving EXO).  But please, tell me more about how much you know about Kris. Final conclusion: He’s still my ultimate bias and this experience has reminded me of why he is!