#then it cuts back to JGY's devastated little face as he tries his best to carry on. probably fucking mortified that this is public
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HANDS DIRTY | DELTA RAE
I've been thinking about this song + JGY for a long time ("I get my hands dirty, I show up so early, they show me no mercy, so I just keep working" hello???? hello??????), and I would like to personally thank ZZJ for his wonderful face and brilliant acting 🙏
#jin guangyao#making this video truly made me appreciate how much on-screen abuse and violence we see inflicted on JGY 😬#also godddd!!! the scene with Madam Jin yelling at JGY at phoenix mountain!!!#JGY doing this quick little panicked look around when she's done talking to see if anyone is going to do anything#and the pan we get of Zixun + Zixuan + Yanli + freakin Sect Leader Yao#and even XICHEN. all just standing there like :T awkward.#then it cuts back to JGY's devastated little face as he tries his best to carry on. probably fucking mortified that this is public#and both relieved yet slightly upset that no one tried to defend him over something that everyone knew was not his fault#UUGHHHHH#sorry I'm done now#the untamed
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Title: in my arms you’re safe and sound
Rating: Teen
Summary: Jin Guangyao is a dhampir who is fully turned when his father accepts him into the family--but Jin Guangshan treats him terribly, and when Nie Mingjue begins to realize how far this mistreatment goes, he drags Jin Guangyao off for a conversation which quickly escalates into an emotional shouting match that results in Nie Mingjue deciding that Jin Guangyao needs to be removed from Carp Tower immediately. Lan Xichen finds them just in time for the three sworn brothers to head together back to Qinghe, where Lan Xichen personally discovers one of the many awful things Jin Guangshan has done to hurt Jin Guangyao.
(2.9k vampire au!!!, hurt/comfort, blood drinking)
I posted this late Sunday night, but wanted to share it here too! It was inspired by a vampire au in the 3zun discord server, this scene hurt my heart so I needed to write it. In this au, the Lan and Jin sects are vampires and the Nie Sect are werewolves. Though this scene is mostly about lxc and jgy, the au was constructed with 3zun in mind. Their sworn brotherhood also gives them all an empathetic bond that gets mentioned once at the beginning of this.\
~~~
Jin Guangyao was only half-conscious by the time they made it back to the Unclean Realm. Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising—Lan Xichen hadn’t gotten the full rundown of whatever argument Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao had had, but he felt the way Jin Guangyao had been hurting himself through their bond in his effort to prove whatever point he’d been making to Nie Mingjue, and when Lan Xichen had managed to find the two of them, both of their faces streaked with tears, their devastation had been so clear , even before Nie Mingjue had given him any details. After such an emotional exchange, it only made sense that Jin Guangyao would be exhausted.
When Nie Mingjue asserted that Jin Guangyao would not be returning to Lanling, that they were heading directly back to Qinghe, Lan Xichen hadn’t argued. He’d been skeptical of Jin Guangyao’s position in Carp Tower since his father had taken him in, he’d known something wasn’t quite right, he’d just trusted that Jin Guangyao would say something if he needed their help...
Lan Xichen cradled Jin Guangyao’s half-limp form close to his chest as he followed Nie Mingjue through the gates, as Nie Mingjue led him back to his own room, and even though Lan Xichen understood why Jin Guangyao would be tired... something still felt wrong. One glance at Jin Guangyao was enough for Lan Xichen to see the hazy look in his eyes, was enough to notice that his pale skin was too pale, nearly colorless, and Lan Xichen wondered sickly how he hadn’t noticed earlier how wrong the color was. Maybe he’d just gotten so used to the warmth in Jin Guangyao’s cheeks before he’d been turned that the lack of color had just always seemed off but... this degree of pallor was wrong, even for a vampire.
Continue Reading on AO3 or below the cut
Nie Mingjue left them in his room to go make arrangements for their unexpected permanent resident, and Lan Xichen took a seat on the edge of the bed. He let Jin Guangyao settle in his lap because he found himself quite unwilling to let go of him just yet, couldn’t quite bear the idea of lying him down in bed and leaving him alone when Jin Guangyao looked so small and tired, when he clearly still needed him.
“A-Yao,” Lan Xichen spoke softly, watching Jin Guangyao’s eyes... the sound of his name brought a bit of clarity to them, but not much, and Lan Xichen bit his lip worriedly, dreading the answer to a question he had to force himself to ask. “Are you hungry? How long has it been since you’ve fed?”
Jin Guangyao’s frowned, his brow furrowed in thought - immediately, Lan Xichen felt his stomach churn, hoping that Jin Guangyao was only thinking because he was trying to be exact and he couldn’t remember what time his meal earlier that evening was - and he seemed to struggle with both the mental timeline and the words when he finally tried to speak, “I... I don’t... remember, I... maybe five? Five or six...”
He trailed off, and Lan Xichen prompted, “Five or six hours ago?”
“No,” Jin Guangyao replied, shaking his head vaguely, “D-days. Five or six days.”
Lan Xichen felt his chest tightening as anguish flooded his thoughts. Five or six days? Jin Guangyao was... He’d only been turned a few months ago, he was still young, by every definition still a fledgling. He should be feeding a little every few hours or at least once a day, not once a week. He wasn’t strong enough yet to go so long without eating, no wonder he looked so awful, no wonder he was on the verge of passing out.
“A-Yao, why haven’t you been feeding?” Lan Xichen asked worriedly, reaching up to push a bit of Jin Guangyao’s hair behind his ear just to have some excuse to touch him.
“I could...” Jin Guangyao was clearly struggling, Lan Xichen could see how hard he was fighting to string the words together, when it was obvious his body was on the verge of forcing itself to shut down, to reserve its energy because it was working on so little fuel, “only eat when... when Father allowed me to. Only animals. Only... every few days.”
A surge of rage unlike Lan Xichen had ever experienced burned white hot in his chest, blinding him--for a split second, there was a very real danger of Lan Xichen putting Jin Guangyao down and flying at high speed back to Carp Tower, a moment when the sensation of snapping Jin Guangshan’s neck in his hands would have been the most satisfying feeling in the entire world, but he took a hard breath and forced the feeling away, even as the embers of the fire continued on. Jin Guangshan knew better. The Jin Clan was full of vampires, many of whom had been fledglings at some point or another, there was no way he didn’t know what he was doing to his son. Fledglings needed blood, ideally human blood, and there was no conceivable way that Jin Guangshan hadn’t known that he was starving Jin Guangyao, keeping him purposefully weakened while expecting Jin Guangyao to perform his tasks as well as a vampire who wasn’t still adjusting to his new senses and urges and appetites, and...
Lan Xichen took another shaking breath as he forced the anger away. He couldn’t do anything about it right now, he couldn’t actually kill Jin Guangshan without starting a war, there was no use in reveling in feelings of revenge because he wouldn’t be able to seek it, but... his energy could be useful here and now. The weight of Jin Guangyao in his arms was grounding, pulled him out of his head and forced his mind back to concern, because concern for Jin Guangyao was productive. This was a place that Lan Xichen could help.
“You need to feed , A-Yao,” Lan Xichen said firmly. What Jin Guangyao had been through today would have drained any vampire, much less a fledgling who was being starved. He took a second to adjust Jin Guangyao in his arms, enough so that he could extend his wrist, brushing it gently against Jin Guangyao’s lips. “Here, please, drink.”
Fresh human blood would be best, but Lan Xichen wasn’t sure where they would procure it at this time of night, and Jin Guangyao seemed so close to passing out that Lan Xichen didn’t want to wait for Nie Mingjue’s return in order to figure it out. His own blood was a close second option though, far better than animal blood and endlessly better than letting Jin Guangyao go without.
But Jin Guangyao... turned his head away, looking faintly distressed as he protested blearily, “No, Er-Ge, you don’t... I’m fine, I...”
“You’re not,” Lan Xichen countered, tone gentle, but insistent. “I mean it, you’re very weak right now. I need you to drink for me, okay? Here...”
Jin Guangyao had to be hungry, Lan Xichen was sure of it; even if he could refuse to bite him, Lan Xichen knew he couldn’t resist feeding if he was presented with an open vein. Without a second thought. Lan Xichen raised his wrist to his mouth and dug a tooth into it, suckling a little on the wound to get the blood flowing before he lowered it back to Jin Guangyao’s lips.
As soon as the blood touched them, Jin Guangyao shuddered in his grasp, and he seemed to try to resist the urge for just a second longer before the hunger, the need for survival, took over. Jin Guangyao’s lips parted and his mouth latched onto the wound, suckling at it tentatively, and even that much filled Lan Xichen with relief. He’d gladly let Jin Guangyao gorge himself, Lan Xichen had fed just today and he could safely let Jin Guangyao take what he needed, but any amount that Jin Guangyao drank was better than none.
He nudged his wrist a little more firmly against Jin Guangyao’s lips - while forcing himself not to think about Jin Guangyao’s lips - and clenched his hand into a fist to push the blood from the wound. He... felt Jin Guangyao’s tongue sweep across it as... the expression on his face melted into something new, something more desperate. Lan Xichen heard Jin Guangyao’s breathing catch, watched his eyes squeezing shut as his teeth glanced against the skin, as if fighting against the urge to press down...
“Go on, bite me if you want,” Lan Xichen told him sweetly. It’d feel more natural to Jin Guangyao’s instincts to drink from a wound he’d made himself, it would encourage him to drink more, to drink until the hunger was satisfied, which was exactly what Lan Xichen wanted.
Lan Xichen heard Jin Guangyao take in a shuddering breath, felt the tension in his back and shoulders because of how close he was holding him... before Jin Guangyao finally gave in and sunk his teeth into the wrist.
Jin Guangyao began to suckle at the wound, his tongue making a few more tentative sweeps around the skin--before he seemed to find his taste for it, before the instinct and hunger began to overwhelm any rationale thought that had been holding him back--his teeth pressed down harder, releasing more blood, and he began to drink in earnest as a tremble began working its way down his back.
“That’s right,” Lan Xichen soothed softly, rubbing his free hand over Jin Guangyao’s arm. “I know, I know you’re hungry.”
Lan Xichen had seen his own lean days. During the war there had been no shortage of blood shed--and yet so little of it suitable for drinking. Lan Xichen had gone days, weeks at time without feeding when he’d needed to push himself, and he knew too well what Jin Guangyao was feeling; the ache that seemed to consume your every thought no matter how hard you tried to push it aside and... feeding again, that first drop of blood when you’d gone ages without was... indescribable. It was more than just satisfying a hunger or a thirst, it was like... like consuming life itself. It was like being achingly numb only to have feeling slowly coming back to your limbs, like being burdened with a chronic pain only to suddenly have it lifted. Those periods of starvation were the bleakest of Lan Xichen’s life, he’d had to struggle to remember why he should even bother living when the worst of it hit him, but feeding again almost made him feel like a veil was being lifted, like he was finally allowed to see the beauty in the world for the very first time.
Though Lan Xichen couldn’t read Jin Guangyao’s thoughts, he could feel the way he was shaking almost violently in his arms, as if totally overwhelmed--he could see the tears wetting his eyelashes and could hear the choked little sounds that were almost certainly relieved sobs as the blood filled Jin Guangyao’s mouth and warmed his stomach, renewing him little by little. After just a moment more, Jin Guangyao found the strength to move his arms, and he used it to grab at Lan Xichen’s arm and hold it in place against his mouth, his desperation to keep feeding completely taking control of him.
Lan Xichen would do nothing but encourage it. His hand moved to stroke Jin Guangyao’s hair as he managed to keep himself upright, and he let Jin Guangyao grab onto his wrist as tightly as he needed to to feel safe. “Keep going,” he coaxed, his voice close enough to Jin Guangyao’s ear that he barely needed to do more than whisper it. “You won’t hurt me, A-Yao, I promise. Drink as much as you need.”
Lan Xichen felt Jin Guangyao nod slightly in acknowledgement and he smiled softly from his own relief. He kept his fingers running through Jin Guangyao’s hair, kept focusing on him so that his mind wouldn’t stray to the person responsible for doing this to Jin Guangyao in the first place--eventually, he gave in to his own urges to gently press his face to Jin Guangyao’s hair, telling himself that it was for the best, that letting Jin Guangyao’s scent filled his nose was the most effective way to push any other thoughts from his mind because he knew all too well from their days on the run together that that was the truth.
They sat huddled close together, until Jin Guangyao’s hunger finally tapered off. Slowly, his overwhelmed sobs quieted, and the tense tremors melted away from his back and shoulders. His grip on Lan Xichen’s arm loosened, his suckling grew fainter and fainter, and when he finally retracted his teeth from the skin... he fell, half-limp against Lan Xichen’s chest.
After sparing a single glance at his wrist - Jin Guangyao had licked all the blood free of the skin and it was already starting to stitch itself closed - Lan Xichen turned his focus back on Jin Guangyao, adjusting him in his arms enough to get a look at him--an easy feat, now that the hunger and the accompanying pain were gone. Jin Guangyao was loose, pliant in his arms in a way that was completely different from how the exhaustion had left him. Lan Xichen gently touched Jin Guangyao’s face, and he couldn’t help but find solace in the renewed color of his skin that was now the well-fed shade of a healthy vampire.
Jin Guangyao’s eyes were still closed, but he looked completely relaxed and he was giving off a distinct air of serenity that most certainly hadn’t been there before. He seemed quietly delighted to be in Lan Xichen’s lap now; he curled up against him and his face even turned to nuzzle gently against Lan Xichen’s hand, seeking out reassuring contact in the tipsy sort of way typical of a freshly fed fledgling.
Lan Xichen didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it before, why he hadn’t realized that Jin Guangyao wasn’t being treated at all like the fledgling he was back at Carp Tower. Jin Guangyao had been working almost non-stop instead of being allowed time to cope with his new heightened senses, instead of being given comforting people or places to hideaway when he was struck with inevitable bouts of overstimulation. He hadn’t thought twice about it and if Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao hadn’t fought today, if Nie Mingjue hadn’t made the executive decision to immediately extract Jin Guangyao from that awful place that Lan Xichen wasn’t even sure how much longer it would have taken him to realize...
Whether or not Lan Xichen would forgive himself for that was a matter for him to debate at another time. Right here, right now, Jin Guangyao needed attention, and Lan Xichen was the only other vampire in a sect that was otherwise full of werewolves. He was the only one currently in the position to give Jin Guangyao what he needed.
Lan Xichen shifted Jin Guangyao a little bit more, helping him sit up more fully, until Jin Guangyao’s face found its way almost naturally to the side of his neck. He immediately pressed himself to the skin there, nuzzling against it before slumping in a state of total contentment against Lan Xichen’s chest.
As Lan Xichen waited for Nie Mingjue’s return, he gave Jin Guangyao the contact and comfort he needed; he held him close and touched his hair and Jin Guangyao soaked up every bit of the positive attention he’d been starved of for so long, only seeming to grow more and more comfortable against him with each passing moment, his hands eventually clinging lightly to Lan Xichen’s robes.
The sound of the door opening as Nie Mingjue came through it only made Jin Guangyao bury himself more completely against Lan Xichen. As soon as Nie Mingjue's eyes landed on them, he gave Lan Xichen an uncertain look... but Lan Xichen just shook his head. Morning was approaching, and they all needed sleep--and Jin Guangyao especially needed a room where he’d be safe from the sun during the day.
Nie Mingjue said they had a room ready, and Lan Xichen carried Jin Guangyao as he followed Nie Mingjue to the prepared place, though... as he tried to set Jin Guangyao down on the bed, Lan Xichen couldn’t even be surprised at the way Jin Guangyao clung to him, issued a faint whimper in his fledgling desire not to be left alone... and Lan Xichen decided quickly that any conversation he needed to have with Nie Mingjue could wait until nightfall, once they’d all managed to get some rest.
He told Nie Mingjue he’d stay with Jin Guangyao, and then settled down on the bed next to him. As Jin Guangyao cuddled close to his chest, Lan Xichen pushed aside his selfish feelings, and gave Jin Guangyao the closeness that any young vampire wanted and deserved.
There would be important things to discuss later that evening, about Jin Guangshan’s actions, about what the best course of action would be with Jin Guangyao now that they’d rescued him... but those were discussion topics for that evening. For now, Lan Xichen let himself bury his face in Jin Guangyao’s hair (because it was for Jin Guangyao’s sake, wasn’t it?), and drift off with Jin Guangyao into a deep sleep.
#xiyao#3zun#lan xichen#jin guangyao#meng yao#mdzs#cql#vampires#the untamed#mdzs fanfiction#the untamed fanfic#vesper posts#wrote a thing
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