after the election, my parents went on vacation in the caribbean and left my brother with me during my finals week. once my brother had gotten settled in at my apartment, he said, "I did a lot of hard work too, when do I get to relax?"

it's a very good question. my 12 year old brother, indeed, canvassed about 200 houses. he talked her up as a candidate to his friends and their parents. he is entitled to some relaxation time after literally living inside Campaign HQ for 11 months.

and then i got to thinking, what about me? i'm the person who convinced my mom to run. i walked her through filing to be a candidate, canvassed, staffed her at events, answered questions, showed her how to use the software--i was a 24/7 on-demand help desk.

so when do i get to relax? because sitting here at home where i am constantly on edge, and still somehow taking care of people, is not my idea of relaxing. my brother caught the flu. it's not his fault, but my parents already had shit planned so i got to take care of him for a couple of days. make it make sense. i can't just do things for them until i drop dead.

New Zealand survey reveals the positive aspects of the country's strict lockdown

https://sciencespies.com/humans/new-zealand-survey-reveals-the-positive-aspects-of-the-countrys-strict-lockdown/

New Zealand survey reveals the positive aspects of the country's strict lockdown

It’s easy to focus on all the negatives amid a traumatic global pandemic, but there are some positives, too.

A new online survey has found the psychological outcomes of New Zealand’s super strict lockdown were not all bad.

The study mirrors other mental health studies on COVID-19 in New Zealand, which had one of the most stringent lockdowns in the world. Instead of asking questions about loneliness, depression, and drug use, researchers wanted to know whether participants experienced any positive aspects during the stage 4 lockdown last April.

Of the 2,010 participants surveyed, nearly half reported experiencing a personal silver lining, and over a third said they’d experienced a silver lining for society as a whole.

“Lockdown represented a major flashpoint in people’s lives and created an opportunity to stop, take stock, and to reflect and connect with others,” says psychologist Matthew Jenkins from Otago University in New Zealand. 

“Many people reported that kindness and helping behaviors became more common over this period.”

It’s still unclear exactly what long-term effects this traumatic experience will have on people’s lives going forward, but at least in the moment, it seems there was some amount of post-traumatic growth occurring at the same time as post-traumatic stress.

A public survey conducted halfway through New Zealand’s stage 4 lockdown found levels of stress, anxiety, and depression rose higher than normal, especially among younger people. 

Whether or not this was due to the lockdown itself or the wider threat of COVID-19 remains unclear. However, one of the first longitudinal studies on the mental toll of the pandemic found social distancing measures and mask mandates were associated with a greater sense of positive mental health. 

Letting people take control of their lives and aid others appeared to help relieve some of the stress they felt, while a loss of social support was the strongest and most consistent predictor of anxiety and depression.

The most recent survey in New Zealand found something similarly hopeful about locking down. While isolation measures kept the public away from each other physically, many participants described “an old fashioned sense of community and caring… that was not apparent before lockdown.” 

This enhanced community spirit appears born from the very trauma of the pandemic itself. Suddenly, it seems, people became far more aware of those around them and their place in the world. This increased feeling of social connectedness may have even helped them cope with the unusual times they were living in.

A recent study in Turkey, for instance, found a sense of belonging was associated with greater psychological well-being among students during the pandemic.

Even above simply surviving, people were also finding ways to thrive in these strange times. In the survey, many said they took the time to personally reflect on their values and future so they could “decide what is really important.”

Just over 30 percent of respondents reported feeling a greater sense of perceived agency, setting their own hours for work or exercising more. “I can stay at home and pursue the hobbies I enjoy,” one respondent explained.

During lockdown, people generally valued materialism less – “not wasting money on stuff one wants rather than what one needs” – and cherished family and friend time more than ever. 

In fact, more than half the respondents said they were grateful for their new social interactions and a renewed sense of community cohesion. Some even said they had received grateful comments from older adults in their community who thought they had been forgotten.

“Because of the social distancing measures in place, technology became a major way for people to connect socially and for work via online services such as video conferencing,” says Jenkins. 

“One participant reported they ‘got to speak with my Dad, who lives overseas, daily’ while another joined a global online knitting group to maintain social interactions.” 

A clear and effective response from the government is obviously key in this. Many participants in the New Zealand survey said they were happy to comply with government restrictions because it made them feel like they were doing their bit for their community. 

These sacrifices made some individuals feel like they were contributing to the greater good, helping to keep vulnerable members of the community as safe as possible. 

“This reasoning highlights the crucial role of clear government messaging,” the authors write. 

“The New Zealand government provided daily updates on case numbers, recoveries, and testing; the high transparency received international recognition.”

By keeping the public abreast of the pandemic’s reality and what individuals could do to help, the New Zealand government appears to have bestowed a strong sense of agency and, therefore, high compliance for pandemic rules among its citizens.  

The public understood the lockdown rationale and what it would take to contain the virus. As one respondent put it: “I believe the level 4 lockdown has helped the country keep the virus under control.”

In May of last year, after a successful lockdown, the prime minister thanked her ‘team of five million‘ for all their hard work in eliminating the virus. 

This gave New Zealanders a renewed sense of national unity and pride, which one respondent said they were honored to be a part of. “[W]e may be a small country,” they said, “but we are doing an amazing job.” 

Such silver linings might not hold for other countries, especially those that have not enforced strict lockdown measures to contain or eliminate the spread of the novel coronavirus. That said, the authors hope these results will help reveal how governments and mental health practitioners can help the public cope during prolonged and stressful events like the current pandemic.

“Our findings show that in a time of turmoil, unrest and psychological distress, many people nonetheless found silver linings,” the authors conclude. 

“We also speculate that, despite the impact of the lockdown, many people had their psychological needs for social connectedness and autonomy met, and these were likely to have influenced compliance with lockdown measures.”

The study was published in PLOS ONE.

#Humans

Women Movers and Shakers of the Gems & Jewelry Industry

Representation of women in the gems and jewelry industry has advanced in recent years, but there is still a long way to go. Like many other spheres, this industry has largely been seen as a “man’s world,” where women have had to overcome significant barriers in working in the sector.

There has been, admittedly, some progress with books and exhibitions about past and present women jewelry designers. The focus is primarily on the downstream retail and design sector. Women’s representation is almost absent in the upstream supply chain – the mining, sourcing, manufacturing to gem cutting, and gemological research.

According to most estimates, women drive demand for more than 90 percent of the world’s jewelry. Their tastes and preferences shape the jewelry market and influence decisions at every step of the supply chain.

The Women’s interview series is a monthly column that aims to celebrate and amplify women’s voices in all facets and levels of the industry. We all have the responsibility to change the narrative into an inclusive and inspirational one. This is a platform that focuses on today’s trail-blazing female practitioners.

Jewelry is more than just an accessory for Burmese Toronto-based Karen Pyu, the creative force behind the brand Mondselle. “It is an everyday art form, one to be expressed in the most beautiful ways.” Karen has made a name for herself with creations that beautifully combine her Burmese heritage with the urban, fashion-forward city of Singapore. Her jewels have already won the attention of Myanmar and Canadian celebrities, including MYA and Aung San Suu Kyi, the State Counsellor of Myanmar. Her passion for fine art began during her childhood and continued to grow through the years in high school. Karen moved to Toronto for her jewelry design and metalsmith training at Ontario College of Art and Design (OCAD) before launching her brand in 2015. Applying her honed sense of style and creativity to the realm of jewelry design, Karen Pyu puts wearability at the heart of her creations.

She tells us more about her design philosophy and the female icons that inspire her work in our exclusive interview below.

Can you give me some background into your journey before launching Mondselle? I was born in Myanmar and lived there until I was fourteen. As a kid, I remember coloring with crayons and enjoyed working and layering colors to create different effects. My mother saw how much I loved to draw and put me into art class every summer, but it wasn’t until we moved to Singapore, when I was given the opportunity to take a large variety of art classes and really pursue it as a passion. In high school, there was a design competition for SIGG water bottles, and my submission was selected as the best. It was amazing to see students carrying around the water bottles with my design on them. This really kick-started my passion for pursuing it as a career.

I moved to Canada for my jewelry design and metalsmith training. After graduating from Ontario College of Art and Design University (OCAD), I started Mondselle, which consists of fine and fashion jewelry.

Could you explain how the name Mondselle came about? The name Mondselle is derived from the French word “mondaine,” meaning a woman belonging to fashionable society, and the word “Elle” meaning she. The brand is catered towards many sides to today’s modern women. Through my creative work, I hope to make women look and feel fashionable.

How would you define your brand aesthetic and style? I gravitate towards ornate and sculptural aesthetics, and I’m also highly attracted to floral motifs. I design jewels that I genuinely believe in, and I would wear every day. My focus is also on wearability, which’s suitable for both the classical and fashion-conscious woman. You can pair one of my rings with a cocktail dress just as easily as you can with jeans. With a fine art training background, I also create visuals for my work. In an industry saturated with mass-produced fashion jewelry, it is crucial to set yourself apart through talent, quality, and craftsmanship.

What inspires your work? Having lived away from Myanmar since the age of 14, I learned to harmoniously integrate with other cultures. When I travel, I always pay attention to what’s around me, the people, and incredible art and architecture. I often like to look at the history and traditional elements of a culture, especially Burmese, to derive a theme, making it relevant to current times and telling a story with every piece.

What gemstones do you like working with? I love working with colors, so naturally, colored stones are my playground, and I especially love all shades of blue. Sapphire and tanzanite are my favorite stones, along with Burmese rubies and emeralds.

What kind of woman wears Mondselle? What do you want women to feel when they wear your pieces? I want Mondselle to be a place where customers come to create or purchase something that will be memorable. Whether it is a gift for yourself, a friend, or someone you love, we want to create new, meaningful relationships and stories to be shared. We cherish the moment a special piece of jewelry was given to us, and it’s a memory that lasts a lifetime. There is tremendous satisfaction and a great honor to have the opportunity to be a small part of something so special. In my eyes, jewelry is an everyday art form, one to be expressed in the most beautiful ways. I found Mondselle in line with this philosophy to create jewelry that will enhance the day-to-day lives of modern women. Much care and love have been put into each piece, so I want women to feel confident when wearing them.

How did the covid 19 pandemics affect your creative process? 2020 was a tough year for many of us. Personally, the pandemic lockdown has been a blessing in disguise. As an introvert, it has given me a lot of time to create without all the noise of regular day-to-day activities. My sketchbook is now full of ideas that I hope to slowly materialize over the years.

Can you tell us about the women who inspire you the most and why? Art is a way of life, and Frida Khalo is my deity. As a woman and an artist, Frida broke a lot of barriers. She not only defied society’s beauty standards, but she also gave us a lesson in resilience when she continued to persevere after the terrible accident that paralyzed her when she was 18. Instead of her trauma and pain being an obstacle, she used it to drive her self-exploration and art. Being a young woman in a male-dominated industry, resilience and standing firm are the virtues Frida had shown, which I admire and embrace.  

Closer to home Aung San Suu Kyi, the State Counsellor of Myanmar, is the living inspiration. During difficult times, I look up to her resilience and perseverance for inspiration in her twenty years of house arrest.  Never did I imagine she would one day be wearing a necklace from my collection. It’s truly an honor to see it on her.

I didn’t come from a family of jewelers, so I started Mondselle from the ground up, and with that came a lot of difficulties that I had to face alone. I learned from her the courage to deal with any roadblocks that may come my way and continue marching on.

college essays writing

About me

Can You Go Over The Word Limit In A College Essay?

Can You Go Over The Word Limit In A College Essay? Current FGCU college students, classified as non-Florida residents, who seek reclassification must contact the Office of the Registrar. To start the method, you have to submit an software andnon-refundable $30.00 software payment. This web site stores cookies on your pc to enhance your searching expertise. The college does not acquire personal data as you browse. The world before Covid-19 may seem like a distant reminiscence, however you probably did spend greater than 15 years engaging in a multitude of meaningful activities and creating your passions. Clubs and organizations are a great way for college kids to make new friends and get entangled. This will give the student additional time to submit higher check scores or different data as described in our communication to them. Meeting minimal admission requirements does not guarantee admission. If a scholar doesn't meet our desired GPA and take a look at score levels we might place them in a hold decision standing. Tuition and fees at every establishment throughout the State University System of Florida are set by the Florida Legislature upon advice by the State Board of Governors. With the Covid-19 elective essay and the extra information part, you need to have loads of house to speak about how you’ve changed—for higher or for worse—due to the pandemic. Use the private assertion to speak about who you had been earlier than quarantining. Give the admission officers a peek into your on a regular basis life. Including specific details can help make your story come alive. For instance, don’t simply say that it was onerous dealing with the emotional trauma of seeing family and friends fall sick. You’ll wish to give the admission officers context to grasp your experiences higher. If you match into both of those classes, writing the optional essay might be a good idea. CU has put aside housing on the Boulder campus for quarantining such students. Tracy Ferrell, a senior teacher in CU Boulder’s Program for Writing and Rhetoric, mentioned she understands many people have been working exhausting to prepare the campus for college kids’ return. Still, after checking on her educating area days before her semester begins Monday, Ferrell mentioned she has been convinced the administration ought to have started remotely. Similarly, Colorado State University President Joyce McConnell issued a sharply worded assertion last week to CSU students, saying she knew most of them have been responsible, caring and empathetic. Enrolled college students are charged tuition and costs primarily based on their residency classification as either Florida resident or non-Florida resident. Those classified as Florida residents pay less in fees per credit hour than do those categorised as non-Florida residents. And they’re looking to their college students to assist accomplish that. View the proof of enrollment that the Clearinghouse has provided to your health insurers and other suppliers of student companies or products. You might want to choose a Career Pathway in your Application, before you start the appliance course of, take a free Career Assessment to find out your Career Path. I’ve got my essay with a number of little errors however the firm supplied me a free revision which was good of them. It’s essential to outline yourself from more than just the coronavirus crisis. You probably will want to spend the personal assertion distinguishing your self from other candidates. Instead, be specific and discuss how your good friend was diagnosed with Covid-19 and needed to be hospitalized. Seeing the long-term results triggered you to take the pandemic far more significantly and moved you to take motion. Perhaps you had been inspired to start a nonprofit that makes masks or to help your neighbors via this difficult time. Here are some examples of the way to write this optionally available essay. The Covid-19 essay was introduced so universities might acquire a better understanding of how their applicants have had their lives and training disrupted as a result of pandemic. When you write the features, looking and writing the significant substance is something but a major task. Bound your self with particular hours and problem to write down inside that point. And 155 college students in a Colorado College dorm have been quarantined after one of them tested positive for COVID-19. CU has been testing college students as they move into the dorms, and recorded 13 positive circumstances last week out of two,096 students tested. We'll be in touch quickly with extra steps for enrollment. Marcus doesn’t consider shaming and scolding college students results in better public well being outcomes, and I don’t, both. Most of all, they must be practical, recognize that college students are on campus because they need to be with their peers and promote low-risk socializing. It’s straightforward to lecture college students for not following COVID-19 guidelines. Parking permits are required for all students who bring a automobile to campus and could also be obtained from FGCU Parking Services.

July 2020 Learning Network Resources

Tuesday, July 28th at 4:00PM EST

Join usfor a webinar on our latest tool. Dr. Lisa Letourneau and Kelly Rand will share a look at our patient engagement toolkit, discuss the research behind it and provide a few examples on how to apply the tools to COVID-19. Click here to join.

Blogs, Issue Briefs, Opinion Pieces and More…

Measurement and Evaluation Approaches to Improve Outpatient Antibiotic Prescribing. Center for Healthcare Strategies. July 2020 “A key consideration for jurisdictions seeking to improve outpatient antibiotic prescribing is how to measure and evaluate baseline performance and progress over time and how to identify goals for antibiotic stewardship initiatives. This technical assistance tool describes metrics that state Medicaid and public health agency partners can use to evaluate and target opportunities to improve antibiotic prescribing practices. It also provides a summary of data sources that can be used to evaluate efforts focused on improving antibiotic stewardship.”

Pandemic guidance for health professionals. Choosing Wisely Australia. Retrieved July 2020 “The Choosing Wisely principles have been a pillar during Australia’s COVID-19 pandemic response. Our health system has come together for a common goal and purpose to manage the pandemic. Health professionals have had to be stewards of our finite health resources. Multidisciplinary teams have united to adopt an evidence-based, patient-centered approach. As a result, our health system has adapted in ways and with urgency unseen before. To assist clinicians and consumers to access reliable information about the pandemic we’ve developed specific pandemic guidance, which is based on current evidence and will continue to be update as evidence evolves over time.”

Covid-19: an opportunity to reduce unnecessary healthcare. BMJ. July 2020 “This pandemic has provoked the best of human compassion and solidarity, but those who manage our health systems still face extraordinary challenges responding to covid-19 and preparing for the second wave. Looking beyond the crisis, our collective learning about the effects of the large falls in healthcare use can help inform and intensify efforts to reduce unnecessary care. This in turn can prevent avoidable harm to patients, enhance healthcare equity, and improve the sustainability of health systems everywhere.”

Journals

Salzman B, et alt. Breast Cancer Screening Shared Decision-Making in Older African-American Women. Journal of the National Medical Association. July 2020 “This study explored African American women’s knowledge of breast cancer screening guidelines in older adults, prior conversations with providers regarding continuation of screening, and their understanding/willingness to engage in discussions about individualized breast cancer screening decision-making using two versions of tested decision aids.”

Vieira ER. Perspectives on Research and Health Practice in Physical and Occupational Therapy in Geriatrics during and Post COVID-19. Physical & Occupational Therapy in Geriatrics. July 2020 “COVID-19 has revealed the susceptibilities and gaps in the P&OT delivery models to the public in general and especially to older adults with chronic conditions. The effects will continue to be felt long until effective COVID-19 treatments and a vaccine is available, but these vulnerabilities need to be addressed before the next pandemic.”

Boone S, et alt. Management of Nonpregnant Women Presenting to the Emergency Department With Iron Deficiency Anemia Caused by Uterine Blood Loss: A Retrospective Cohort Study. The Journal of Emergency Medicine. June 2020 “In this cohort of adult females with moderate to severe IDA caused by uterine bleeding, blood transfusion was often administered in the absence of hemodynamic instability or active hemorrhage, iron deficiency was inadequately treated, and a high rate of subsequent transfusions occurred. Future studies should investigate optimal indications for transfusion and emphasize adequate iron supplementation.”

Poor Cost Awareness Among Anesthesia Providers for Medications, Supplies, and Blood Products. The Joint Commission Journal on Quality and Patient Safety. June 2020 “The majority of anesthesia providers have poor knowledge of cost. These findings suggest that cost awareness interventions may be necessary for promoting high-value health care.”

Sun JY. Implementing Electronic Health Record–Based Clinical Decision Support for Head CT Ordering in Minor Pediatric Head Trauma. Journal of the American College of Radiology. June 2020 “Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is an important and increasingly common reason for pediatric emergency department (ED) visits, resulting in 812,000 ED visits by children in the United States in 2014. Although head CT is a cornerstone for the diagnosis of clinically significant TBI requiring acute intervention, the large majority of presentations for minor pediatric head trauma have negative imaging findings. Clinical providers must make rapid decisions that balance the need to identify clinically significant TBI with the economic costs and radiation risks of CT overuse.”

Neuner-Jehle S, et alt. What interventions do general practitioners recommend avoiding? A nationwide survey from Switzerland. Swiss Medical Weekly. June 2020 “Most RIA suggestions from GPs were concordant with previously published RIAs, independently of GPs knowledge of these and reflecting their high clinical relevance. In addition, our study revealed some more relevant topics and may help to develop future “Choosing Wisely” recommendations, with the final goal to reduce low-value care.”

Graham K, et alt. Challenges of Implementing the Choosing Wisely Guideline to Promote Sleep and Rest at Night for Hospitalized Patients. Nursing Care Quality. June 2020 “A pilot intervention to support the initiative, “Don’t wake the patient for routine care unless the patient’s condition or care specifically requires it,” was implemented on 3 units in 3 hospitals. All the 3 units had experienced patient concerns about lack of sleep at night. There was multidisciplinary support to promote a better patient experience of nighttime sleep. The experiences across the 3 hospital units were positive for providers, patients, and patients’ families.”

Media Coverage

The Dentist Will See You Now. But Should You Go? NPR. July 2020 “Remember, infectious disease specialists note, that we all have important responsibilities as patients, too, to let the dentist know before or on the day of the appointment if we’re feeling sick in any way. We’re all in this together — if you’re sick, stay home.”

“Why People Are Still Avoiding the Doctor (It’s Not the Virus).” The New York Times. June 2020 “At first, people delayed medical care for fear of catching Covid. But as the pandemic caused staggering unemployment, medical care has become unaffordable for many.”

Should you take a dietary supplement to prevent disease? CNN Health. June 2020 “If you’ve been more concerned about your health lately, you might be wondering if taking a nutrition supplement containing vitamins, minerals or a combination is worthwhile. It’s estimated that more than half of Americans take one or more dietary supplements daily or on occasion. The pills are popular in Europe, too: According to one estimate, the dietary supplement market was worth over $14 billion in 2018, although research has suggested that usage varies widely according to each country. But are you wasting your money on vitamins and minerals you don’t need or possibly harming yourself by taking high doses? Here’s the lowdown.”

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New world news from Time: ‘There’s Still a Lot to Do.’ After Christchurch Shooter’s Sentencing, New Zealand Muslim Leader Urges Reforms

The day after a far-right terrorist was sentenced to life in prison for killing 51 people at two Christchurch mosques, the New Zealand Muslim Association president urged the country not to lose sight of much-needed reforms.

“There’s a whole lot of issues we still need to deal with,” Ikhlaq Kashkari tells TIME by phone Friday. “How do we ensure this doesn’t happen in the future, what went wrong and how do we ensure those things are rectified?”

Despite the distractions of COVID-19 and upcoming elections, he says New Zealand needs to think carefully about how to prevent further acts of extremism.

The shooter, a 29-year-old Australian man, was sentenced to life in prison without parole on Aug. 27 as grieving survivors watched. It’s the first time the sentence has been imposed in New Zealand, which does not have the death penalty.

“It’s a beginning to the closure,” Kashkari says of the sentencing. Still, he notes, right-wing extremists “haven’t disappeared, they are still there, they haven’t gone away.”

The killer had pleaded guilty to 51 counts of murder, 40 counts of attempted murder and one count of committing a terrorist act for the March 2019 attack, which he live streamed for 17 minutes. He also shared an 87-page white-nationalist “manifesto” online.

Within hours of the the worst mass shooting in the country’s modern history, New Zealand’s government jumped into action, pledging reform.

As the country reeled from the massacre, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern proposed changes to gun legislation. Less than a month afterward, New Zealand’s parliament voted to ban military-style semi-automatic weapons. This June, the country passed legislation creating a new firearms registry which gun license holders will be required to update as they buy and sell weapons.

Read More: A Year After Christchurch, Jacinda Ardern Has the World’s Attention. How Will She Use It?

The swift response earned Ardern praise globally. But still, some promised changes haven’t moved so quickly.

Two weeks after the attack, New Zealand’s justice minister Andrew Little said the government would fast-track a review of its “woefully inadequate” hate speech and human rights laws, but amendments have not yet been implemented.

“There’s a lot of things the government has done, and there’s still a lot to do,” says Kashkari, who is part of a group representing New Zealand’s Muslim community in the official investigation into the attack.

The inquiry, called the Royal Commission, was launched by the government in late March 2019 to “look at what could have or should have been done to prevent the attack.” It is expected to present a report on its findings on November 26, more than 20 months after the massacre.

Kashkari says he can’t comment on the specifics of his recommendations given his involvement in the ongoing investigation. But he shared more general advice on how he believes the world can combat the growing challenge of far-right extremism.

“Unfortunately some countries — in particularly larger, more powerful countries — are becoming more polarized,” he says. “That in itself is giving more air to right-wing type of stuff.”

Changing a country’s hate speech laws and enhancing the education system to promote cultural understanding can help, he says.

Read More: The New Zealand Attacks Show How White Supremacy Went From a Homegrown Issue to a Global Threat

Overall, he says, New Zealand is a very tolerant society, but the Muslim community still faces challenges.

For true closure and healing, he says the government must figure out how to support the victims of last year’s shooting on a long-term basis. Wider problems include a lack of representation in some decision-making organizations and stigma against Muslim people, who comprise about 1% of the population of the country of 5 million.

Kashkari called for continued momentum to tackle the underlying problems, even as the country navigates the pandemic and an election delayed until October because of the coronavirus.

“It’s really important that this doesn’t fall through the cracks, that we as New Zealanders and our future government really make sure that we learn and there are practical initiatives put in place to ensure this doesn’t happen again,” he says.

He remains hopeful.

“We are still reeling through this trauma, but we’re a very resilient community, so we will get through it,” he says.

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6 Strategies For Survival: Cohabitation In The Time Of COVID-19

  As a nation, America is facing one of its most uncertain times in recent decades. Coronavirus, also known as COVID-19, is sweeping across our nation at an alarming rate and shelter-in-place orders are bringing daily life as we know it to a halt. Americans are struggling with this uncertainty in many areas of their lives, including the potential impacts on their physical health, emotional health, mental health, and financial wellbeing. This level of uncertainty often breeds insecurity and vulnerability, which often leads to conflict.

Most Americans are now several weeks into social distancing and are staying at home full-time with their families. But, what happens to the couple who was on the brink of filing for a divorce and now are stuck living together? While ending the marriage, these couples are now in a tough predicament: they must cohabitate and possibly co-parent during a pandemic without harming each other or their children. The person they want to divorce, and all the marital baggage, now sit in the house like a familiar friend, and the home becomes a pressure cooker for conflict.

The mandate to stay at home due to COVID-19 is an impractical scenario for divorcing couples, who are now forced to shelter-in-place together, just as they were planning on separating permanently. While it is important to remember that this health crisis is not permanent, it is equally as important to learn how to effectively cope with this “new normal”.

Surviving Cohabitation During COVID-19

In collaboration with Dr. Marian Camden, an expert in the field of psychology and family therapy, we have developed a few strategies that you can implement to make cohabitation with a soon-to-be-ex-spouse more manageable:

Expect a Longer Divorce Process.

The backlog for the courts is still unknown and each county in Colorado is handling the timeline differently. Most counties are not setting evidentiary hearings unless they involve a threat to welfare and safety. This means that it will take longer to resolve temporary issues such as who will reside in the home, temporary maintenance, and temporary parenting time. However, the bright side is that many cases are settled in mediation without the need for a hearing. At this time, mediations are still moving forward by way of video conferences.

Please note: Courts are still holding emergency hearings for protection orders and parenting time restrictions. If you feel strongly that you or your children are not safe, then Court intervention is still possible and you should speak with an attorney.

Focus on Your Children.

If you have children with your spouse, make a decision that you are going to put your focus on your children first. Many children will not remember the details of this pandemic, but rather they will remember how their home felt during this time. They will remember if there were heated arguments, fighting, or physical confrontation between their parents. Children will remember more about how their parents reacted to the crisis and the atmosphere that their parents created than they will about the pandemic itself. Children are constantly observing and learning coping mechanisms from their parents, so focus on creating a positive impression, even during the darkest times.

Shift Your Mindset.

To survive in a crisis, you must shift your mindset. Living in the same home as someone you are either divorcing or planning to divorce is not an ideal situation for most.  To survive in this scenario, it may be helpful to shift your perspective of your relationship with your spouse from an “intimate relationship” to a “business relationship.” Often the first step is to remove your most impassioned emotions from the picture. Rather, behave toward your co-parenting partner in a detached, professional manner, in a manner in which you would not be embarrassed for your co-workers or friends to see. Basic manners go a long way toward making the cohabitation and co-parenting process tolerable. Try going back to the basics mantras we learned as children: (1) say please and thank you and (2) if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

Implement Structure.

The more conflict that you have with your soon-to-be-ex, the more you need to create a routine that provides you the best chance at peaceful cohabitation. This routine should provide as much “separation” as possible, even when you are sheltering in place. Try to create a rotation of when each of you is primarily responsible for caring for the children. If needed, you can create a routine that allows for separate mealtimes and physical separation in different areas of the home. Creating some physical space from your spouse will allow for more emotional space in your home. If you can’t get your partner to co-structure with you, then structure your day so that you don’t overlap very much. This may require sacrifice, but it will create a more peaceful home for you and your children.

Plan for Behavior Spikes

In difficult times, spikes in irritation and anger are often unavoidable. Having awareness around this concept will help you to create a response strategy for potential fallout, rather than simply reacting. When you feel the anger (or years of pent up rage) rising, have a calm response, such as: “I need to take a break”; “I’m going to walk the dog”; or (my personal favorite) “I need to think this over and get back to you.”

Focus on Self-Awareness.

The more you can be self-aware and have that moment to catch yourself, the more freedom and choice you have with your situation. What does that mean? Basically, NOW is the time to incorporate a daily mindfulness practice into your life or recommit to the one you used previously. According to Dr. Camden, “anything you can do to raise your self-awareness will result in more self-control and greater freedom over your choices. Self-awareness allows you the ability to respond, rather than react. If you start by taking care of yourself in a kind, gentle, and reasonably self-disciplined manner, you will enhance your ability to cope, co-exist, and co-parent during these challenging times.”

Begin writing in a journal. This is an opportunity to channel your internal conflict over old grievances and the things you can’t stand about your partner. There is a vast amount of research that supports the benefits of journaling, such as reducing symptoms of depression, boosting mood, and enhancing your sense of well-being.

Learn how to meditate. Meditation is not just for the “enlightened.” The reason it is so mainstream and popular right now is that it actually works. Whatever your living situation may be, try sitting quietly for a few minutes at a time and reflecting on your thoughts. You do not need a “meditation space”, in fact, if you are in a pinch, this can be done from the privacy of your bathroom. There is significant research indicating that mediation can have a positive effect on depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, ulcerative colitis, and more.

Move your body and get outside every day for at least ten minutes. Try something you enjoy, such as going on a walk or run, doing yoga, riding a bike, or playing games with your children.

Reduce unhealthy vices. Remember to eat well and reduce the consumption of sugar, alcohol, and recreational drugs. These vices stand in the way of healthier coping strategies and will not provide you with adequate energy to cope in this crisis.

Create a consistent and healthy bedtime routine. A healthy bedtime routine, also known as “positive sleep hygiene” is a behavioral practice that includes establishing a regular sleep schedule and limiting exposure to stimulants (light, electronics, food, and alcohol) before bed.  Having positive sleep hygiene will help ensure you are providing your body and mind with restful sleep. Sleep provides the body and mind time to relax and reset, which is especially crucial in times of stress.

Dr. Camden’s #1 Strategy for Successful Cohabitation

If there is one basic skill that’s going to keep everybody safe in their homes, it’s remembering to take a time out when you need it and then actually taking the time out. There’s no shame in it, just say, ‘I need a break.’ If there is a question that needs answering, then do the classy thing and say, ‘I’ll get back to you’ and then actually get back to them once you’ve had time to respond, instead of just reacting. Often, there isn’t even a decision to be made. Couples tend to quickly fall back into hard-wired ways of thinking about each other, talking to one another, and fighting battles that no one will win. This is where increased mindfulness will be helpful.

Remember, this uncertain time is temporary and the restrictions imposed by COVID-19 will not last forever. For this reason, it is crucial that divorcing couples do not take destructive actions that WILL permanently impact their lives. Domestic violence charges can impact individuals for years to come, not to mention the lasting emotional impact it has on children in the home. In remembering to be kind to others in your home during this time, remember to also be kind and patient with yourself. These are trying times and everyone is working to survive peacefully as possible.

No one should feel unsafe in their own home.  Those suffering from domestic abuse are free to leave their homes and seek help if they feel unsafe. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7:  Call: 1-800-799-7233; Text: LOVEIS to 22522, or visit: thehotline.org.

  Written in collaboration with:

Dr. Marian Camden is a licensed psychologist offering counseling, therapy, coaching, and consultation in Denver. For nearly two decades, Dr. Camden has helped adults, children, and teens work through difficult divorce situations, become better parents, heal from depression and anxiety, recover from trauma and emotional abuse, feel happier, more confident, and better about themselves: as parents, as partners, and as professionals.

Website: camdencounseling.com/

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How to ease loneliness and feel more connected

As the COVID-19 crisis has hammered America, its citizens have responded with the turtle defense. Encouraged by government stricture and rapidly evolving social norms, we’ve pulled heads, arms, and legs inside our shells, drawing away from potentially infected others, with the salutary side effect — should we be the sick ones — of also being unable to infect them.

But as we pull away, rising loneliness appears to be among a host of mental health impacts that are inevitable side effects. A Kaiser Family Foundation poll from late March showed that 45 percent of those surveyed reported mental health effects from the crisis, with 19 percent reporting a “major” impact. While social distancing’s physical isolation can enhance feelings of loneliness, experts also caution that isolation and loneliness are not the same thing. They also say, however, that there are things we can do to ease it, some of which may even help others.

“The experience of loneliness is 100 percent subjective,” said Jeremy Nobel of the Center for Primary Care at Harvard Medical School and adjunct faculty in the Department of Health Policy and Management at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, where he teaches a course on loneliness and public health. “Isolation is the objective state of being physically separate. Loneliness is the self-perceived gap between our social connectedness and that which we aspire to have.”

While loneliness itself is not considered a mental illness, Nobel said it is a risk factor for depression, suicide, and addiction. He put its ill health effects on a par with smoking and obesity and said its physiological impacts include increased inflammation — which has been implicated in negative health consequences — and decreased immune response, both potentially important during pandemic times.

Karestan Koenen, a Harvard Chan School psychiatric epidemiologist and expert in the mental health impacts of trauma, said the pandemic’s loneliness-inducing effects may be particularly acute for those who lived alone even before the coronavirus hit.

“Loneliness is a big concern, especially for people already isolated,” she said. “We know it’s toxic to health, not just mental health but physical health.”

Robert Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital and head of the long-running Harvard Study of Adult Development, agreed that loneliness can impact health and warned that pre-existing conditions can further hamper one’s ability to get out and connect with others.

“We find that that people who are more connected are healthier and healthier people are more connected,” Waldinger said. “It’s bi-directional.”

Being alone and lonely can also result in a kind of emotional inertia, Waldinger said, which means it may take a force of will to reach out. It may help, Waldinger said, to first reach out to a friend you think may also be lonely.

“There’s inertia if you’re alone. You think, ‘People probably don’t want to talk with me.’”

Waldinger said. “Research has shown that human connection is a big way we get through tough times. We don’t do nearly as well isolated as we do together.”

Losing a loved one is trying during normal times and may be particularly difficult now, Waldinger said. The normal comfort of family coming together to grieve and support each other may be postponed or foregone entirely due to social-distancing concerns. The impact of grief compounded by isolation may be particularly hard on surviving husbands, since studies have shown that women are better at maintaining social networks and husbands often rely on those maintained by their wives.

Nobel, who recently founded The UnLonely Project and has responded to the pandemic with a “Stuck at Home (together)” website to provide free, arts-based support for those struggling with involuntary isolation, said that the creative arts have been shown to have remarkable health effects. Nobel has blogged about how to write your way out of loneliness and conducted studies that showed that the creative arts can be healing in surprising ways. He said the effect may be because creating forces one to focus on the moment and encourages one to express thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. An important aspect of using the arts to heal, he said, is sharing one’s creation — whether art, a poem, or a cooked meal.

“In the moment, you’re not worried about your 200 emails,” Nobel said. “Making art, even a doodle or an arranged bouquet of flowers, gives you an artifact you can share with another human being and that person can have some sense of you. It’s reliably powerful, like closing an electric circuit, and both people are connected.”

Unlike pandemics past, Nobel and Waldinger agreed that many of those social distancing at home have the benefit of technology to stay connected. Though physical presence can’t be entirely replicated — having someone with you in a doctor’s office, for example, is calming, Waldinger said — videoconferencing platforms such as Zoom provide ways to stay in touch and approximate in-person connectedness.

“Connecting with others remotely is better than I thought it would be before the pandemic,” Waldinger said. “My meditation group meets every Monday night, virtually, and it’s good. We’ve had cocktails with friends, and it’s not the same, but it’s better than nothing.”

While virtual meetings, happy hours, family chats, and other gatherings have proved a boon for many during this pandemic, Waldinger said he’s concerned that it may turn into the familiar scenario of “the rich getting richer,” with those better off and comfortable with technology benefiting while others suffer in silence.

“One in four Americans lives alone,” Waldinger said. “My worry is that the people who live alone don’t have others to drag them to events or say, ‘Let’s call up so-and-so.’”

The pandemic has also highlighted at least one area for future research, Waldinger said. Studies should probe which activities are just as effective when done virtually as in person, which activities may not be the same but are effective enough, and which should still be done in person.

If there is a benefit to these quarantined days, Nobel said, it’s that with everyone physically isolated, the stigma of admitting to loneliness has decreased, which may make it easier to reach out.

“Now, in the world of coronavirus, no one is embarrassed to say they’re lonely,” Nobel said.

Ironically, Waldinger said that even as the pandemic keeps us physically apart it’s getting many of us to pull together, whether through supportive “stick with it” messages on social media, making donations to pay for first responders’ personal protective equipment, or the clapping, singing, and musical instruments pouring from apartment windows and balconies from New York to Italy.

“We were inundated with messages of how divided we are,” Waldinger said. “If anything, [the crisis is] reaffirming our connectedness.”

From Harvard University.

source https://scienceblog.com/516124/how-to-ease-loneliness-and-feel-more-connected/

The day after a far-right terrorist was sentenced to life in prison for killing 51 people at two Christchurch mosques, the New Zealand Muslim Association president urged the country not to lose sight of much-needed reforms.

“There’s a whole lot of issues we still need to deal with,” Ikhlaq Kashkari tells TIME by phone Friday. “How do we ensure this doesn’t happen in the future, what went wrong and how do we ensure those things are rectified?”

Despite the distractions of COVID-19 and upcoming elections, he says New Zealand needs to think carefully about how to prevent further acts of extremism.

The shooter, a 29-year-old Australian man, was sentenced to life in prison without parole on Aug. 27 as grieving survivors watched. It’s the first time the sentence has been imposed in New Zealand, which does not have the death penalty.

“It’s a beginning to the closure,” Kashkari says of the sentencing. Still, he notes, right-wing extremists “haven’t disappeared, they are still there, they haven’t gone away.”

The killer had pleaded guilty to 51 counts of murder, 40 counts of attempted murder and one count of committing a terrorist act for the March 2019 attack, which he live streamed for 17 minutes. He also shared an 87-page white-nationalist “manifesto” online.

Within hours of the the worst mass shooting in the country’s modern history, New Zealand’s government jumped into action, pledging reform.

As the country reeled from the massacre, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern proposed changes to gun legislation. Less than a month afterward, New Zealand’s parliament voted to ban military-style semi-automatic weapons. This June, the country passed legislation creating a new firearms registry which gun license holders will be required to update as they buy and sell weapons.

Read More: A Year After Christchurch, Jacinda Ardern Has the World’s Attention. How Will She Use It?

The swift response earned Ardern praise globally. But still, some promised changes haven’t moved so quickly.

Two weeks after the attack, New Zealand’s justice minister Andrew Little said the government would fast-track a review of its “woefully inadequate” hate speech and human rights laws, but amendments have not yet been implemented.

“There’s a lot of things the government has done, and there’s still a lot to do,” says Kashkari, who is part of a group representing New Zealand’s Muslim community in the official investigation into the attack.

The inquiry, called the Royal Commission, was launched by the government in late March 2019 to “look at what could have or should have been done to prevent the attack.” It is expected to present a report on its findings on November 26, more than 20 months after the massacre.

Kashkari says he can’t comment on the specifics of his recommendations given his involvement in the ongoing investigation. But he shared more general advice on how he believes the world can combat the growing challenge of far-right extremism.

“Unfortunately some countries — in particularly larger, more powerful countries — are becoming more polarized,” he says. “That in itself is giving more air to right-wing type of stuff.”

Changing a country’s hate speech laws and enhancing the education system to promote cultural understanding can help, he says.

Read More: The New Zealand Attacks Show How White Supremacy Went From a Homegrown Issue to a Global Threat

Overall, he says, New Zealand is a very tolerant society, but the Muslim community still faces challenges.

For true closure and healing, he says the government must figure out how to support the victims of last year’s shooting on a long-term basis. Wider problems include a lack of representation in some decision-making organizations and stigma against Muslim people, who comprise about 1% of the population of the country of 5 million.

Kashkari called for continued momentum to tackle the underlying problems, even as the country navigates the pandemic and an election delayed until October because of the coronavirus.

“It’s really important that this doesn’t fall through the cracks, that we as New Zealanders and our future government really make sure that we learn and there are practical initiatives put in place to ensure this doesn’t happen again,” he says.

He remains hopeful.

“We are still reeling through this trauma, but we’re a very resilient community, so we will get through it,” he says.