Tumgik
About
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
Tumblr has been banned in Indonesia for providing people with access to pornographic content.
#the resentment of his mental illness and addiction. his poverty too- i doubt the line where she calls him a poverty-stricken fuck is real
inmirova
ยท
11 months
Text
spending the small hours of the night thinking about how hdb views the mere act of caring for him as inhuman.
#like. even the kindest doctor i have ever had let me withdraw from multiple antipsychotics mood stabilizers and antidepressants alone
#trying and failing to figure out how to taper down safely from the internet. most things suggested getting smaller scripts filled
#our society wasnt built for people like us. it is so so tiring to be poor and disabled in this world and its tiring to love someone who is
#so eventually we're abandoned. the people who loved us get tired of it. especially once youre safe enough to stop posturing
#to admit that everything hurts and you dont want to get out of bed or you cant pick up the dog or youre just too fucking tired
#because youre no longer what you were. these things constantly change you.
#yes i loved to swim and to ice skate and to climb trees and sit and survey the world around me. no i cant do that anymore.
#does it make me less interesting? does it make me harder to love?
#how much is changed when im sitting on the shoreline and youre in the ocean?
#this got away from me. it feels hard to be loved in a body like this-in a mind like this. it must be saintly. angelic. innocentic. to do so
#tomorrow night is my favorite holiday but it leaves me thinking a lot about devotion
#about ruth clinging to naomi- the realization that what you have found would destroy you should you lose it.
#where you die i will die and there i will be buried may the lord deal with me be it ever so severely if anything but death separates us
#it's so hard when the thing that separates you is your punishment already
#dream dora talks about his depression and how he gets too sad and phone dora tells him hes drunk no matter what he says
#the resentment of his mental illness and addiction. his poverty too- i doubt the line where she calls him a poverty-stricken fuck is real
#but the emotion behind it was definitely in her
#all of the reasonings my ex fiance gave for leaving boiled down my mental illness (blatantly said it a couple times too)
#but ik physical disability stuff bothered them too
#it's fucking hard
#the parts of you that everyone resents are finally accepted and embraced and then used to blame you for the end of something
#yes of course there were things i did wrong as a person and things harry did wrong as a person.
#that doesnt stop the things about ourselves that are already distressing from being paraded as a moral failure by someone we trusted
#all of this to say. sometimes it feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
#humanity has abandoned the poor disabled addicts of the world. when will you? it's inhuman to care. history shows that to be true.
#idk. i have to be up in 3 hours. im sure ill have more coherent thoughts about this after work tomorrow. rn I'm just. here's a mess lol
#or maybe not! i have to put the finishing touches on my cheesecake before sundown.
#ill make dinner and celebrate shavuot with my sister who is still a human despite caring for me
#and things will be. as they are. or ill rotate these thoughts in my head and wont be able to fall asleep all night and ill ruin tomorrow.
#who knows!
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
plaguedoctorjester
Lilydragonhart
jodifiction
Jodi Fiction
greene-beane
Hurp, Durp, I do art
ccanicete
Change Realm
adrienslady
miraculous tales