#the ocd is OCD'ing !!!!!! get me OUTTA here !!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dandyshucks · 1 month

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experiencing my bimonthly (every two months) morality spiral of "it's bad that i like men, why am i not as attracted to women, i must be a misogynist if I personally am not as often attracted to women as i am men"

i would say i need to go touch grass to get over it but unfortunately I do that at least once a day and it does not seem to help 😔 (this second paragraph is half joke)

#the ocd is OCD'ing !!!!!! get me OUTTA here !!!!#what actually would help is getting out and being around real life ppl more but. i am so tired fsdjkl that is so difficult #also i am afraid bc my immune system is so fucked up and i really cannot afford physically or mentally to get sick #if i was a man or man-adjacent i wouldn't feel bad about being attracted to men i think #bc then i'd ''at least be gay''#but when i am nonbinary and transneutral then i feel like everyone is just going to see me as girl-lite in a straight relationship #and if i am not attracted to women then surely i MUST be a misogynist! because women are wonderful so why am i not as attracted to them!#its funny bc we have a lesbian in the system and also a gay man and then a few other ppl across the span of sexualities #and im just over here being the only one having mental breakdowns about my sexuality HFDSJGKL #everyone else is like. it literally does not matter the way u seem to think it does. ur fine. wtf are u on about.#and im over here spiralling out into crying breakdowns bc i convince myself i must be a terrible person for not being as attracted to women #i need to figure out how to stop going through this spiral every couple of months bc it is exhausting and so so so stupid oh my god #vent //#dandy.cmd

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