Sometimes you just gotta sit in your kitchen listening to your ex write a Fucken Ho ballad about you in the next room because all his musical equipment lives with you as insurance that he won't do anything overly annoying and you're not even pissed to admit it's a pretty damn good song

The day you tucked my arm up under yours and tugged me up against your body and said Mine

When your FWB whispers I love you as he rolls out of bed because he thought you were asleep and wouldn't hear it and you realize that somewhere along the way you've both managed to lose the plot and are winging it

So Stoner Bitch and I are laying in bed early Sunday afternoon, high off our nuts with Midnight Gospel (the animated podcast) playing in the background while we do our usual Sunday afternoon stuff, and I’m looking down at him wondering if his beard is gonna hit Robert Redford circa Jeremiah Johnson levels of epic before July when the female guest author on the podcast says something that makes me stop grinding on Stoner Bitch’s bellybutton and drop my mental jaw in shock and awe at the sheer truth of what that woman just said.

“She’s right,” I whisper to SB.  He opens his eyes and looks at me, lost somewhere in the middle of bliss and blackout.  I lean over and kiss him.  He’s one of the reasons.

“I found that when I had no conflict in my life, when I was sober and straight and HAPPY and CONTENT, when I had no major issues to be resolved, no negativity, and was in a good happy non-toxic relationship, I - I couldn’t write.  I felt no need to - my needs were being met in other ways - so I didn’t.”

I sighed, and he reached up to press his hand against the side of my neck and pull me down to him.  He didn’t ask What’s wrong.  He knew nothing was wrong.  It was right and he knew it without asking.

I haven’t written anything in months.  And all I could do was smile, listening to his heartbeat under my ear.

“When I was HAPPY AND CONTENT - “

It was hell in a bag of flaming dogshit on a doorstep at Halloween to get here, but I got here.  This strange little valley, this strange little life.

Happiness, I’m sorry you’ve been on hold

SMUT SCENE FROM ONE OF MY FICS:  *The door opened just slightly, enough to allow a silvery shaft of light to fall across the floor as she turned to see his shape, that strong outline of his body that always without fail quickened her pulse, and when she found her breath it was barely enough to whisper, Make love to me...*

SMUT SCENE FROM MY REAL LIFE:  *kicks door open*  HEY YOU DAMN SKINNY HIPPIE WE GONNA BANG OR WHAT

Sending your fave boybuddy a picture of a farm animal with a whack hairdo and a message that says HEY LOOK IT'S YOU IF YOU WERE A CHICKEN and getting a heart and kiss emoji back two minutes later

When your bedbuddy snuggles up behind you and says “You’ve got a fire about you but an innocence to you” and your half deaf ass can’t see his face to read his lips so you think he said “You’ve got a fire about you but an incense to you” and it seems so profound and lovely that you repeat it to yourself all afternoon and are considering putting it in a fic when you realize what he actually said

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