#the height difference between these two cracks me tf up which is half the reason i did it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lunapwrites · 2 years

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Hi darling!!! F and I please??

F: I would like you to know that you asked a dialogue-heavy author to pick a favorite child. XD ANYWAY, here's one that was short enough to include as a snippet here without being forever and a half long:

“I see,” he said, and oh, he did. “I must confess, Madam Umbridge—”

“Professor Umbridge, to you.”

Her smile strained and sharpened at the edges. Remus drew his own like a knife.

"My apologies." He flashed an eye tooth. "With all your titles and responsibilities, I suppose I simply can't believe you actually find the time to teach."

Her eye twitched as the hit landed, the flood of satisfaction following immediately after. It would be easy — so easy — to take her apart at the seams. To keep picking at that sore spot he'd found until he drew blood, and then keep going.

But Harry was watching.

"At any rate," he continued, as Umbridge showed no sign of responding, "you do not, in fact, have the authority to confiscate his broom."

"I'm afraid you're mistaken." She drew herself up to her full height; it made little difference. "Hogwarts professors — of which I am one — have every right to seize banned items from students."

Again, she emphasised her title. If she were anyone else, Remus might have found the posturing amusing.

"Actually, Dolores, Professor Lupin has the right of it," Minerva interjected. "We may only confiscate items if they are deemed dangerous, or else if no other reasonable option exists — such as sending the item home with his godfather. I would have thought you would be familiar with our guidelines, considering I personally provided them to you at the start of term."

Remus kept his eyes trained firmly on Umbridge's face, and he did not crack a smile.

I wonder if Molly has a good recipe for Ginger Newts… I've got a gift basket to put together.

"I haven't had the chance to study it," Umbridge said through gritted teeth.

This was precisely the wrong thing to say, as Minerva launched into a crisp lecture about professionalism and familiarising oneself with the requirements of the job one is hired for, adding "Professor Lupin could quote it back to me by the end of the first week, and he was still in Jaipur two days before term!"

I'm going to hand-deliver the bloody thing to her at this rate.

This is from LTL-Ch13, and the reason I'm particularly proud of this bit is just. The professional passive-aggression?? It's not even the full scene, and there's A LOT going on here where Umbridge is being just a full-bore bigot towards Remus and Minerva just does NOT have time for it. Just the two of them teaming up to (politely) go for the jugular lol. But it's fun. I was torn between this and the Quidditch argument from LTL-Ch9 but that would have been WAY too long. There's no good point to cut off banter lol.

I: Guilty pleasure, hm? Text fics. They're so fun and they're easy for me to digest. I will say that I tried to read that new one that's very popular (the title of which I forget) but it was full of so much gen-Z lingo that I got completely lost lol. I think I'm kinda stuck on, if modern, then grumpy millennials lol. XD BUT I do still enjoy TF outta them overall. Of Leaves and Stars, in particular, is one that I like to go back to when I need a quick shot of fluff. <3 (It is not a short fic, I just like to go in and reread bits and pieces while waiting for the next installment lol)

Thanks for the ask!!

#ask game #responses #hp #my writing

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