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#the fic in which i mix sleepovers and assasination
that-angry-noldo · 2 years
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The Pettines of the Dwarf, or
*inhales*
what the hell, tolkien
[did y'all know finrod was almost assasinated by mim? did y'all know? thanks @caenith for enlightening me, but did y'all know??
that's it. that's the summary.]
The secret passage was dark, unwelcoming and small, made by Petty Dwarves specifically for Petty Dwarves.
Of course, Nargothrond had passages made for Elves, which... kind of drove Mim mad.
Actually, a lot of things were driving Mim mad novadays. The way his folk mended easily with elven-kin, the way his people happily exchanged materials and labours and languages with that unnaturally big, unnaturally strong and unnaturally scary race.
It made Mim's blood boil.
Elves were not friends. Aman Elves - Noldor - were ten times not friends. They were a full-on threat.
It was the way their teeth were a bit too sharp. The way their eyes flickered with something ancient, something powerful, something Mim could never understand. It was the way the necklace glittered on King's chest and combed with his soul so perfectly that made Mim's very being burn with envy and hatred.
And this is why he was making his way to the King's chambers through secret passage.
Elves were stupid, trusting the Petty Dwarves so unconditionally. The King was stupid, not double-checking their work, not tearing their minds with his scary, cursed magic, not seeing the lie sticking itself under his very nose.
If the King is lucky, the only thing Mim will take from is that stupid necklace.
If the King is in his chambers -
Well, Mim will be more than happy to baptise Naughlamir in Felagund's blood.
~
No, Edrahil was not looking forward to a sleepover.
Sleepovers were stupid and childish and he told that to Finde right after the man proposed it. He was agreeing to it only because Finrod promised to get snacks.
It was totally not because his memory decided to play against him, bringing up the laughter and pillow fights and blanket forts and the taste of sweet berry juice and fresh cookies. Edrahil was a grown man, sleepovers were for children, and he was doing it just because Finrod was a kid in adult's body.
Finrod's rooms were big and cozy - they distantly reminded him of the Third House residence in Aman, and he almost relaxed, almost put his guard down -
Almost, but enough to react when Finrod shouted, jumping at him with pillow in his hands. Edrahil dodged and bared his teeth, grabbing one himself.
Oh, the game was on.
~
"Your majesty, I'm getting you know that you are disarmed and expected to surrender."
Finrod laughed, which sent him wheezing for air, considering Edrahil had him strangled under the pile of pillows.
"Holy- okay, get off-"
"Surrender first, muffin."
"Am not- ughh-"
"You definitely are."
Finrod trashed once more, trying to get free from his friend's hold, but Edrahil only smiled. Finally, the king groaned and nodded. Edrahil instantly let go.
"I guess I brought it upon myself," Finrod sighed, sitting up, only to immediately collapse on a pillows. "I'm definitely winning the next one, though."
"You can dream."
"You're no fun."
"I'm here for snacks, Finrod, and I'm not seeing them anywhere near."
Finrod frowned.
"I'm not giving them to you before you start being fun."
~
Since Edrahil wasn't going to be fun and Finrod wasn't getting him snacks, they compromised. The compromise being Edrahil getting Finrod in a chokehold again and calling him a muffin until the king agreed to cooperate and get the promised food.
Today was a good day. He may even like the sleepover, even though it was still childish and immature.
So now it was Edrahil's turn to lie on the pillows, awaiting for well-deserved cookies and juice. He tuned out Finrod's chattering from the other room halfway through, instead dissolving into the surroundings.
... screw that, if Finrod gets to be childish, so does Edrahil.
Edrahil also knew that the shadow near his friend's bed didn't belong there, that it most definitely was alive and that it looked suspiciously like one of Petty-Dwarves, which wasn't weird at all.
~You'd tell me if you had an affair with one of those little dwarves, right?~
~... what the hell, Edrahil.~
He could tell the exact moment Finrod fell silent, reshaping his usual giggly self into something quiet, something cautious, something dangerous. He could feel the moment the dwarf tensed, trying to hide in his cover.
The next second Finrod was in the doorframe, and there was a flicker of a dagger in the dim room's light, and Edrahil bolted.
Oh, the game was so damn on.
~
There was blood on Finrod's neck.
It was but a scratch - Finrod dodged quickly enough, and dwarf - Mim - goddamn Mim himself - was quickly disarmed, but Edrahil's blood was cold. Colder then Helcaraxe.
"Findarato," he growled. "I will cut his head and his limbs off, one by one."
"Please don't," Finrod said weakly. "The blood will be a pain to clean."
"I'm calling the guards."
"Ye- yeah, you probably should."
But Edrahil didn't move, because moving would mean leaving Finrod alone, and he's not doing it.
Finrod inhaled.
"What the actuall hell, Mim."
The dwarf was glaring daggers at them, and it made Edrahil want to strangle him even more.
"First, that was rude." Of course that would be the first thing Finrod points out. "Secondly - how in the world have you managed to get into my room?"
"He's not talking, Finrod. Can I just murder him?"
"We're not murdering anyone today, Edrahil."
"The guy's literally tried to send you off to Mandos a good millenia early."
"I mean, I'm still not in Mandos- wait."
Finrod turned to him, and sly fire flickered in his eyes.
"Edrahil, is this the first assasination attempt between the three houses?"
Edrahil opened his mouth, because why in the world would you say something like that just after said assasination attempt?
"Oh my Eru. Oh my freaking Eru, Edrahil. I was at the very bottom of the list."
"... Arda works in misterious ways, Finrod."
"Oh my- Edrahil, Maglor's gonna be so jelaous."
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