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afterspark-podcast · 5 years

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G1 Episode 20: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: Fist bump! Oh man, it was great!

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast. An episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 20: Dinobot Island, part 2. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.

O: Last time on the Transformers, according to the narrator, the Dinobots were exiled to Dinobot Island.

S: According to, to Specs, to me, um, it was summer camp. Is this supposed to tell us something about the Autobot thought process, maybe?

O: Maybe just Optimus’s thought process?

S: Are they supposed to be in timeout until they learn to get- have more finesse?

O: [Laughter] Maybe? I don’t know, but Wheeljack and Ratchet seemed too supportive for me to think they were exiled, okay?

S: Yeah. [drawn out]

O: Anyway, the Decepticons showed up, gathered a whole fuck-ton of energy on the- well-

S: Island.

O: The- Dinobot Island, and dumped the Dinobots into a tar pit.

S: And now, on today's episode, Megatron is glad to be rid of those, “Dull-witted Dinobots.”

O: At least he's honest about his loathing for them.

S: I guess that is the thing, yeah.

O: Just saying, it may not be nicer than the Autobots per se but at least he's honest about it.

S: Yeah. Megatron turns back to the rest of the Decepticons ordering them to “drain the island of its energy,” like, drain it dry for something.

O: Yeah, yeah, like, gather all the energy and Starscream says they, “Might upset the chronological balance of this island!”

S: Yeah, you know, due to its precarious placement in the timestream. What with, you know, the dinosaurs and all that shit.

O: I got to hear Megatron say the phrase “scientific gobbledy-gook” and it was wonderful.

S: Little did we know that Starscream and Soundwave can summon the Energon from lava just by holding a cube over it and, I mean, apparently, all the other Decepticons can do that too.

O: Which we'll see two seconds later because Ramjet and Thrust do the exact same thing by holding the Energon cubes over a crevasse where some steam us coming up.

S: It's weird, man.

O: It is weird.

S: After the Energon is collected, the island begins to quake and the volcano threatens an impending eruption. Starscream responds to this rather cheerfully, wondering if this is the mistake that will make him the Decepticon leader.

O: While still standing on the rim of that active volcano and the impending eruption. Uh maybe move out of the volcano splash zone before you start, you know, planning your future there, buddy.

S: I guess he doesn't have much experience with volcanoes erupting.

O: I guess, yeah.

S: He'd find himself probably inconvenienced by the ash cloud.

O: [Laughter] Indeed.

S: And at the Ark, Ratchet has finished repairing Teletraan I because you- if you remember from last episode, the Dinobots did a bit of a number on it.

O: The Dinobots trashed everything. Of course, that was on accident because they're sweet dumb babies.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Ratchet thanks Sparkplug for his help and Sparkplug wonders where Spike has wandered off too and, if you'll remember- um, according to the end of last episode he's a dead, buried under building, we’ll mourn his loss.

S: Teletraan I proceeds to pick up a weird signal that Wheeljack interprets as a [singing] time warp.

O: It's just a jump to the left!

S: And a skip to the right!

O: [Laughter]

S: Apparently, Wheeljack is able to pinpoint at the time warp is near the library.

O: Yes, yes- the library, you know, where Spike and Bumblebee were last episode.

S: Mm-hmm. The Autobots leave to investigate.

O: Showing up in the city, the group digs up Spike and Bumblebee, Sideswipe doing the bulk of the work with his piledrivers.

S: He's a good heavy hitter.

O: He is.

S: Spike is fine, Bumblebee apparently protected him with his body.

O: [Coughs, and continues with a (bad) Southern accent] “Say, Mr. Bee, what exactly is your relationship to that boy?” [Laughter]

S: [Laughter-Groaning] The Autobots come face-to-face with the rampaging mammoths and their accompanying, weirdly stylish, barbarians.

O: I think the VA doing the barbarian gibberish might be Ratchet’s voice actor. I cannot substantiate this in the slightest but, I mean, come on we know the guy can do some first-class gibberish. Ironhide then moves to wrangle the mammoths but not before Optimus says what quite possibly, in my opinion, might be the dumbest line in the entire series, “Remember, those creatures are flesh and blood, not unfeeling machines like the Decepticons.”

S: Keep telling yourself that, Optimus. Buddy, pal.

O: Friend of mine. Okay but I just don't understand how anyone can look at any of the Decepticons, but especially fucking Starscream, and say that is an unfeeling machine. He has many feelings, most of them are varying degrees of screech but they're still feelings.

S: Self-entitlement.

O: Self-entitlement! Um, anger- all of the cons are quite good at anger, except maybe Soundwave. Soundwave is about the only one I'm gonna not call you out on even though I'm pretty sure he's got feelings.

S: And a lot of whine thrown in there.

O: Yeah, yeah, yeah- Sideswipe- or not Sideswipe- Starscream is excellent at whine.

S: Sideswipe is very excited to beat up some mammoths because he's not taking what Optimus said into account at all.

O: No no, he’s gonna beat shit up. We also see Huffer lift an entire mammoth over his head and for an Autobot Huffer’s pretty small, so this is pretty funny.

S: Apparently he's just a pint-sized powerhouse.

O: Apparently. Ironhide then confronts the barbarians- shooting glue at them to keep them all in one place.

S: What's this? Continuity? A character using the same ability in more than one episode?

O: No, never!

S: Sunstreaker also gets into the mammoth lifting shenanigans [sighs] but some of the barbarians proceed to court death and start beating on Sunstreaker.

O: He's very vain, if you don't know this already. You do not want to mess with his paint job, he will literally kill you.

S: Yeah, he then points and generates electricity, and the barbarians get shocked and run off.

O: In order to corral the still rampaging mammoths, Optimus calls his trailer into existence and the other Autobots shove a bunch of elephants into his trailer.

S: He's got a lot of junk in that trunk.

O: Oh Lord, not again.

S: I will use that line anytime I can.

O: [Laughter]

S: Ironhide walks on screen holding a mammoth in an incredibly awkward way.

O: Is his face like at it’s butt? [Laughter]

S: It is, unfortunately.

O: It does not look comfortable for anyone involved but, oh nos!! The time warp is closing.

S: I have some concerns about those barbarians that got glued in place but I don't think it's gonna be addressed, um. Sunstreaker and Hound keep the time warp from, you know, closing by shooting at it and keeping it open with these weird octagon things?

O: I don't think- I don’t know what's going on there and, like, at all.

S: Yeah.

O: But immediately because, remember, they have just shoved all those mammoths into Optimus Prime's trailer. They let them out and then herd them through the time warp. So this lasted all of like, what, five fucking seconds?

S: Apparently they needed something to do, but honestly they could have just had not Autobot circus. I don’t know. Ironhide proceeds to direct the mammoths like he's a traffic cop directing traffic.

O: It is amazing.

S: Yeah.

O: Sideswipe herds the barbarians far less gently. With fire.

S: I mean, yeah, how did they get the ones Ironhide glued down? I mean, did they?

O: I think it's obvious they probably didn’t. [Laughter]

S: I have many concerns.

O: Don't worry, back at the Ark, it's the return of Chip!

S: Our boy!

O: Our boy!

S: And some of the new guys introduce themselves because toy lineup.

O: New season.

S: Gotta get those toys, parents.

O: Yep.

S: Beachcomber and Perceptor are, like, the main ones here.

O: That actually say their names, of which I can only say, Percy? Oh thank fucking God, a sane Autobot! There's just so few of those!

S: Yep. And then Teletraan I and Chip proceed to track down two new time warps. The first one is out on the ocean with a pirate ship sailing through to harass a yacht.

O: They want their wenches. Literally.

S: Yeah. “We want your money and your wenches!”

O: Pretty much.

S: And on the second, dumps a group of Old West outlaws near a group of bikers- presumably somewhere in the American Southwest.

O:The outlaws decide to steal the motorcycles because they will be able to escape faster.

S: Well, they call them, “Newfangled mechanical horses.”

O: Yes.

S: And I feel like this is not how people from the Old West should react to seeing motorcycles.

O: We-we both know that the show has many, many historical accuracies, um, and doesn’t know what science is.

S: [Laughter] Inaccuracies.

O: Oh, what did I say?

S: You said accuracies. [Laughter]

O: Oh, I meant inaccuracies.

S: [Laughter] You said, “Many historical accuracies.”

O: NO! No!

S: It makes you sound sarcastic!

O: [Laughter] OK, I guess as long as I sound sarcastic it works well. Um, we then cut to Cliffjumper who's waterskiing in car mode. Again. While being accompanied by two new characters, Seaspray and Tracks.

S: Seaspray can turn into a hovercraft.

O: He's voiced by the guy who does Skeletor and, like, you go on the wiki and it'll say how he did the voice and it, honestly, was hilarious and I was doing it while we were watching the episode because I'm horrible. [Laughter]

S: It was great. And then Tracks, who turns into the hottest Corvette Stingray. Specifically, a flying Corvette Stingray. You know that's one of the features that you were never able to get in a Corvette Stingray. He's one of our favorite characters in the series.

O: And he only shows up in a couple of episodes. Boo!

S: Tracks is also the sexiest Autobot, or at least he thinks he is. He's thinks he’s the sexiest Autobot.

O: You think Sunstreaker is vain? He's got nothing on this guy.

S: Tracks blinds the pirates and frees the yacht from their grappling hooks before helping Seaspray and Cliffjumper push the pirates back towards the time warp.

O: And now that the showdown between the bikers and cowboys.

S: The bikers all get their butts kicked, surprisingly, considering motorcycles are fucking faster than horses.

O: Yes. Some highlights from this fight include: A biker pulling out a chain all threateningly, but then one of the outlaws just jumps off his horse and tackles him. And then an outlaw tries to drive a motorcycle but runs into the one tree in a ten-mile radius and wipes out. [Laughter]

S: I got some really funny photos of this.

O: They're so dumb and wonderful.

S: Yeah, I don't think the cowboy would actually be able to successfully do this because I don't think he'd be able to balance on the fucking motorcycle.

O: I don't think he would either and I think that's supposed to be why he wiped out, but still it was pretty damn funny to watch.

S: Yes, but it would make more sense for the thing to just fall over when he tries to-

O: They wanted him to run into a tree!

S: The Autobots show up or, as an outlaw calls, “And talking horseless carriages! What’s next?”

O: Then our charming, intelligent outlaws get the brilliant idea shooting at the giant, metal men.

S: Prowl disarms them by melting all their guns with his acid pellets and Jazz proceeds to scare them away with loud, modern music.

O: As-as all is right with the world. Red Alert seems to take a leaf from Sideswipe’s book and herds them into the time portal with fire.

S: Yeah, like, he's sort of chastises Inferno who then joins in, shooting at the outlaws with water.

O: I'm rapidly becoming convinced that Red Alert and inferno are dating because Red Alert always seems like he's really clingy with inferno but I kind of like it.

S: I think that's been the common interpretation for a very long time.

O: Probably, I just haven't read any fic on this one.

S: Those two time warps taken care of, we go back to Chip who's been able to figure out that the energy disruptions coming from Dinobot Island are causing all the time disturbances, which kind of makes me wonder if they were reading all of these energy disruptions and just not giving a shit.

O: Possibly. I mean, do-do the Cons just do shit like this on a daily basis? But no, no the dumbest thing here is that the time disturbances are also causing Mount Saint Hillary to become active. AGAIN.

S: I mean- wasn't it, like, active three months ago?

O: Yes. Yes, when, uh, Megatron was trying to pull Cybertron close to Earth, yeah.

S: Yeah, and I mean when the volcano erupted, too, waking everyone up.

O: Yeah, I don’t think this is a dormant volcano. That's my personal opinion at this point.

S: I don’t know, it’s weird. They can't- they can't get their, you know, volcanism or geology, you know, solid. Optimus Prime orders Warpath, Beachcomber, Perceptor, Ironhide, smokescreen, and Trailbreaker to put on jetpacks and go to Dinobot Island in order to restore the timestream.

O: Meanwhile, back on Dinobot Island, Megatron wants more energon.

S: When doesn't he want more? But touche. Starscream tells him they’re fucking shit up and that they need to leave before the island explodes. Megatron, however, does not give a shit about exploding Islands.

O: Uh, Megs, honey, baby, how are you gonna carry all that energon off the island if it's destroyed. It's not like you came here with the ship and I am pretty damn sure you cannot shove all of that giant pyramid of Energon into subspace.

S: Well, between all the Decepticons that they do have, they might be able to at least get a chunk of it.

O: They could get a chunk but if it just explodes, they don't have time and he's not taking this seriously. He's just gonna get none of it!

S: Yeah.

O: Which honestly sounds like a gamble the idiot would do, yes.

S: Yeah.

O: The Dinobots are able to escape their tarry prison rather suddenly when all the tar evaporates, presumably due to all the crazy shit that's happening on Dinobot Island?

S: Can tar even do that? I don’t know.

O: [Laughter]

S: The Dinobots shoot the remnants of the tar off each other with, like, their fire laser breath or whatever and, uh, before turning, you know, returning to their robot modes. They're all super fucking pissed at the Decepticons and proceeded to fly off.

O: Why didn’t you do that the last episode you nimrods?

S: The Autobots arrive, landing near Megatron and his energon pile.

O: Optimus has somehow reached the conclusion that if they remove the energy from this area then the entire galaxy may crumble and unless Percy came up with that theory on the jaunt over here, you're full of shit, sir.

S: [Indistinct] Megatron knocks Optimus on his ass with a well-placed shot from his fusion cannon.

O: Megatron then orders an attack, with Starscream shouting in order to attack from the air causing, you know, the Seekers and the Coneheads to all attack.

S: Yeah. Warpath hits several of the attacking seekers before he and Percy are knocked down.

O: Megatron and Optimus continue to fight, as you do.

S: Megs proceeds to tell Soundwave to, “Prepare to receive,” before turning, you know, transforming into gun mode.

O: Well, is that what we're calling it nowadays?

S: Apparently.

O: [Laughter]

S: Soundwave fires on Optimus with Megs, causing a huge fissure to open up in the ground.

O: Soundwave then drops Megs, who sort of bounces on the ground returning to robot mode. I don't know why I was amused by this, but I was.

S: Eh, it’s just a cute little bounce. Got to make your warlord who's a gun bounce.

O: It's not as cute as the Ravage bounce.

B: [Laughter]

O: Ravage bouncing was adorable!

S: Yeah. Meanwhile, we see the dorkiest transformation we've ever seen. Blitzwing transforms into a tank- he's a triple changer, for the record- however, his head is still visible in the tank mode and it looks super goofy because he's, like, his face-face down.

O: Yeah, like, it's still obviously his face and then he just drives off.

S: Yeah, I think the next time we see him that doesn't look like it's his face.

O: Yeah, like, it looks like it's probably back to more what it looks like on the toy or what he normally looks like in tank mode.

S: Yeah.

O: And then we have Beachcomber, a known pacifist, who is firing at someone off screen with his hand lasers until Blitzwing catches up with him.

S: Now it's time for the showdown between the tank and dune buggy we've all been waiting for, who will win?

O: I don't know! [Laughter] Beachcomber’s able to escape as Warpath and Blitzwing have a throwdown.

S: The Dinobots arrive on scene with Grimlock rallying the actual dinosaurs to fight for them.

O: His name is Grimlock and he speaks for the dinos.

S: The Autobots appear to be losing badly as everyone is pinned to the ground, getting shot at.

O: Megatron, we all know that you're the one shooting Optimus repeatedly in the crotch during this shot.

B: [Laughter]

S: The dinosaurs arrive and they absolutely wrecked the Decepticon’s shit.

O: It's amazing.

S: The triceratops mows Megatron down as the stegosaurus simultaneously takes out Soundwave, Blitzwing, and Starscream.

O: Dirge is then picked up in a t-rex’s mouth and tossed, as the other two Coneheads are trampled on by multiple dinosaurs.

S: Skywarp and Thundercracker are jumped on by another t-rex-looking dino before also being trampled on by multiple dinosaurs.

O: Megatron decides to get the hell out of dodge, because he's gonna survive this even if his army doesn't.

S: I think all the Decepticons are going to have phobias about reptiles.

O: I don't think I blame them.

S: Yeah. The Autobots decide to release the energy back to the island in an effort to restore the time stream. By shooting at the pile of Energon.

O: Didn't we establish this shit's explosive?

S: We did, because it explodes and everything's fine, somehow.

O: Of course!

S: The Dinobots are then allowed to come back home.

O: Gee, thanks, Optimus.

S: And then, for some inexplicable reason, the Dinobots are all wearing jetpacks when they fly off??

O: Keeping shit straight, we don't do that here. And join us next time for episode 21: Traitor. Watch as Cliffjumper repeatedly makes the wrong assumptions about poor Mirage.

S: Poor Mirage.

O: Poor Mirage. And I believe we have some fanfic for today.

S: Yes, we do. We have two fanfiction recommendations for you. The first is, “Really Bad Eggs,” by JazzBot. It's, uh, continuity wise it's set in the G1 cartoon, but it's a crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean or the Caribbean cuz I don't think I pronounce.

O: Pirates of the Caribbean.

S: It's a crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean, specifically the first one, I think.

O: Yeah, I think it- I think it is pretty specifically, it seems like it's the first one.

S: Yeah, because I think it was written before any of the sequels came out.

O: Probably.

S: Uh, so it's rated K. It's Gen, there's no pairings, and our characters here are Bluestreak, Prowl, and Skywarp. And in summary: “Bluestreak, Prowl, and Skywarp are involved in a little teleportation accident. Hmm. Wonder where they ended up?”

O: Where indeed.

S: And our theme here is a deserted island, and also pirates. And it's a one-shot. And our second recommendation is, “Jailbreak,” by eerian_sadow. Its G1 cartoon with influence from Transformers Legends, which we might have mentioned before but it is a short story collection that's officially licensed by Hasbro but none of the stuff in it is canon so it's basically officially licensed fan fiction.

O: Yes.

S: More or less. It's- it's fun and it's cute and I'd recommend it, but you might have some issues getting it because it was only available on the print run.

O: I want to say it's actually easier to find now but I might be wrong.

S: Maybe. I don't know if it was reissued.

O: I'll post a link if I think- if I remember, when we post this.

S: Yeah, thank you. So, it's rated K, its Gen, there's no pairings, and characters here are Paddles, Seaspray, and Swoop. And, for the record, Paddles is a character from Transformers Legends.

O: He is another Dinobot.

S: Yes.

O: But he is, he- he is an aquatic one. That's the word I’m looking for.

S: I could remember what the heck he was but now I don't. [groans]

O: Just know he's an aquatic dinosaur. That's probably the only thing that's truly relevant here.

S: Yeah, and this one didn't actually have a set summary, so the only thing I can really like I came up with for it was, “It's a short cute thing about a rescue.” Because that's what it is. It's less than a thousand words long and I'd recommend it and this- it's nice to see Paddles featured in something.

O: Mm-hmm.

S: And this one is the theme for it was Dinobots, featuring Paddles and Swoop.

O: Good Swoop.

S: Yep and it's a one shot. Thank you, and that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @Aftersparkpod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few.

S: Till next time! I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

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