#the end of 2022 and the beginning of the rest of our lives together 🥰 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrs-kelly · 1 year

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When I started 2022 things were not in a good place for me. They were looking up a bit, sure, but in the moment? I was in the dregs. I was struggling hard. Battling with obsessive thoughts and low self worth and feeling like nobody really saw me. You know? I feel like those are all things a lot of people deal with. But I still felt alone in them.

My goal for the year was to find a way to just feel normal. If I couldn’t move forward, I would stop taking steps backward. I wanted to find some way to just feel okay with myself. And maybe someday, I could actually start to love myself.

I’ve been so lucky this year to find coping strategies and mechanisms to help me reach that goal. And I’ve been even luckier to find interests and hobbies that have actually helped me surpass it. I never thought I’d reach a point where I liked myself this much. Especially within the year.

But while so much of my growth happened slowly over the first 10 months of the year, Charlie is the one who really pushed me into actually liking myself. I got myself to neutrality, and then he came around and shoved me into self acceptance. At any cost. To the pain.

I can’t even say what about him made it happen, but being with Charlie immediately made me value the things that make me special, and the things that make me happy. Being with him made me realize that I don’t deserve to just be tolerated, I deserve to be celebrated. I deserve to be treated with as much excitement and wonder by people in my life as I treat others. And I deserve to give myself the things that will make me happy and successful.

Since Charlie and I got together, I’ve been on a freight train of recovery and growth. He made me feel like I have what it takes to go to school. He made me feel confident enough to get my haircut and dress the way I want. He made me feel like it’s okay to speak my mind. Which is a huge one for me. And all of it has made me so much happier!

I feel like a person again. Like an actual person who has an active role in my own life. I feel like I have so much to look forward to, so many things I want to see and do. And it’s all because of Charlie and the way he loves me. There’s something about him that just makes me believe that he will always accept and love me. And even when I doubt that, there’s some part of me that knows he is always going to be here. With me.

And that’s changed my life. Charlie has really changed my life for the better. In such a short time, he’s made me feel like myself, for the first time since I can remember. Like I don’t have to hide anymore. Like I can be myself, and love myself, and anyone who doesn’t like it can shove off. And that’s huge for me.

So, with this thousandth post in Charlie’s tag, I’m looking forward to 2023 and everything else I can accomplish with Charlie by my side ❤️ I know there’s only better and better to come ❤️

#CRIES AND CRIES HES DONE SO MUCH FOR ME OK ❤️#I’m so excited to finish off the year with him…#the end of 2022 and the beginning of the rest of our lives together 🥰#ren speaks #renlie #im gushing out here folks #new years’ cw #idk if some people don’t rly like the new years retrospective thing? I’ll just tag it jic

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