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sevralships · 7 years

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“Just Because You Can” Part 5 of 7, Chapters 17-19

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The Pines triplets, Mabel, Dipper, and Jolene, have always been best friends. But lately, there’s been some distance growing between the Mystery Kids, due in part to the forbidden feelings with which they are each struggling. How will they manage to see eye to eye, when torn between wanting each other and craving adventure?

(This is a new AU that I’ve been calling Jolene AU, devised by myself and @handleonthescandal after one of us asked the question “What if Mabel and Dipper were triplets but with another sister?”. Although this AU is similar, it is not connected to Double Dippin’ AU, and Jolene is in no way connected to Tyrone.)

Shoutout to @sirwaddlesesquire for being the trustiest squire and an insightful, helpful, and supportive beta.

Mostly SFW, mostly angst with some action/adventure and a little bit of fluff, tw incest

Fic under the cut, enjoy!

Chapter 17: Flight

Jolene’s brain stalled like a car in mud. This can’t be happening, she told herself impatiently, I’m hallucinating. She’d been pretty freaked, but she was sure that once she’d stopped the tears and washed her face five or six times and recited to herself every reason that she couldn’t kiss her brother, that she was back to normal. The fan in the bathroom was pretty loud, but she had thought she’d heard Mabel out there. She had braced herself to see Mabel, and opened the door, only to find bona fide proof that she was still hardcore hallucinating.

She took in the scene before her. Trying to break down the hallucination and find reality. Mabel and Dipper were kissing in Dipper’s doorway. Simple as that, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Like a boyfriend kissing his girlfriend goodnight by her front door. Her arms draped over his neck, his arms pulling her close against him. Their lips moving together, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, like they were two halves of the same whole and being together was more natural than being apart.

No way, she reminded herself, No way, this can’t be real. Find the flaws. Something was off, for sure. It took a second for Jo to realize Mabel was wearing black. There it was, yeah. Yeah, no way Mabel was wearing all black. It wasn’t even glittery black. Mabel hadn’t even worn all black to their grandpa’s funeral, opting instead for a respectfully funereal but much more Mabel-y navy with a sequin-trimmed blushy-pink cardigan. Mabel Pines did not do black.

And Dipper seemed off too. He was so…poised. Jo almost smiled at the idea of ‘Dipper’ and ‘poise’ in the same thought. Dipper was cradling Mabel in a leading-man kinda kiss, one hand in her hair while the other possessively gripped her waist. It was the kinda kiss that ended up on movie posters for Victorian-era romances that would bore you to tears. Very not Dipper, Jo comforted herself, Dipper would definitely be all bumping teeth and stammering stepping on toes, not so suave. She rubbed her eyes, confident that when she looked again, her mind would quit playing this cruel joke on her.

But when she opened her eyes, they were still there. If anything, the kiss had deepened, their brows softening with tenderness, their hands gripping a little tighter. Her heart started to speed up again, banging on her ribs angrily, as she stared. Softly, almost too quiet to hear, Mabel sighed. Sighed against Dipper’s lips. Dipper’s lips, which only moments ago had hovered over Jo’s own, tempting her to kiss them. But she hadn’t, after all, she couldn’t, he was her brother and her best friend and he would have pushed her away and wiped his mouth and scorned her and–

He isn’t. She admitted to herself, He isn’t pushing her away. He isn’t mad. He isn’t weirded out. He’s kissing her back. She took a silent step into the hallway. Mabel isn’t me, though. He would have pushed me away. It was like a knife in her quickly speeding heart. He actually wanted Mabel. But… Mabel? Of course Jo knew Mabel idolized Dipper a little, for all her teasing, she was devoted to him. Indeed, Jolene had had murmurings of suspicion that Mabel wanted Dipper, but still. Seeing Mabel not push him away… Who kissed who? She found herself wondering, her eyes flashing desperately back and forth between them. It doesn’t matter, the knife in her chest reminded her, it doesn’t matter. Now that they have each other, why would either of them need you?

Mabel and Dipper leapt suddenly apart, and it took Jo a moment to realize she had cried out. Two sets of brown eyes were on her, wide and panicked. ‘Deer in headlights’ would have been a gross understatement. Jo’s heart was racing, fast and irregular, competing with her tongue’s attempt at forming words, “What- what in the- how?”

“Jo, it’s–” Dipper began shakily.

“It’s what?” Jo demanded, “You guys were kissing.” She cringed inwardly at the way her own accusation echoed the taunting ‘k-i-s-s-i-n-g’ of a child’s taunt.

“I can explain,” Mabel pleaded, her skin deathly pale against her strangely dark clothes.

“Oh, I’d like to hear that,” Jo said, crossing her arms over her crazed heart.

“It-it…”Mabel cast her eyes down, “It was… It didn’t mean anything! It was just–”

“…it didn’t?” Dipper asked, his voice softly devastated. Mabel’s eyes rose to meet his and Jo’s blood ran cold. It did mean something, she knew, More than I thought…More than…They don’t want each other, they love each other.

“Dipper…” Mabel begged, torn between trying to appease her siblings’ conflicting hopes, “It’s so complicated…”

“You know what, it’s fine!” Jolene interrupted, surprised by the vitriol in her own voice, “You guys don’t owe me an explanation! I’m just your sister, what the hell do I know?!” She took a couple steps towards them, “Discuss on your own time whether that-that-meant anything, because you know what? I don’t fucking care!”

“Jo-jo,” Dipper implored, “Please, please listen to me. Mabes and I are as confused as you are. Please, we love you–”

Jo laughed in Dipper’s face and he cringed, “Oh that’s rich!” she stood directly in front of him now and he could hardly believe the fire burning in her eyes, “You’re confused, huh? Being confused makes you start kissing your sister, huh? Because I coulda sworn being excited nearly had the same effect! Guess anything might inspire some sister-smooching!”

Shit shit shit, so that is what happened, Dipper swallowed hard, thinking of how Jo had scurried from his room, “Jo, it’s not–”

“What’s she talking about?” Mabel asked, her head cocked to the side.

“Jo, calm down!” Dipper begged, “Can’t we just talk about this?”

“Calm down?” Jo repeated shrilly and Mabel winced, shaking her head, seriously Dip, never tell a girl to calm down, “Why-why-would I be calm? I just lost everything!” Jo pushed Dipper hard and his tailbone hit the ground painfully, as Jo strode past him into his room. She’d always had a short fuse, but Dipper had never in his life seen her so incensed, “You don’t fucking understand! You-you, neither of you!”

“Jolene…” Mabel said from the hall, stepping into Dipper’s doorway.

“Don’t,” Jolene screamed, silencing them both, “You don’t get it! You-you matter! You’ve always been the ones that mattered! You saved the fucking world, what the fuck have I done!?” She smacked her chest to punctuate her reference to herself, “You’ve always looked out for me and put up with me but you never needed me! I needed you, my world, my happiness depended on you, but I’ve only been a drain and a nuisance!” Angry tears were streaming down her face, her voice alternately shrill and thick with crying, “I almost got you killed, Dipper, and…and I…” Her words faltered as they were overpowered by her tears, “And you, you have each other! And-and that’s, that’s just great! You don’t-don’t need me, ‘s’time I learned to not need you!”

In a blur, Jo was out the room and flying down the stairs, leaving Dipper and Mabel blinking at her absence.

Chapter 18: No Time To Lose

The sound of the car pealing out of the driveway woke Dipper up and he sprang to his feet. His eyes went at once to the spot on his bed that he knew would empty, “Ohh, shit shit shit shit shit,” he whined, pressing the heels of his hands to his brow.

“Dipper… what…?” Mabel asked softly from the doorway, leaning against the frame.

“Fuck!” Dipper shouted, kicking the leg of his bed. He turned on Mabel angrily, “What the hell was that?”

Mabel flinched in the face of his sudden anger, “Why are you yelling at me?” she asked, stung.

“Why am I yelling at you?! Seriously?!” Dipper gestured towards the hall, “Why did you yell at me? Why did you kiss me? Why did you try to say it…it…meant…”

As usual, Dipper’s anger burnt out fast, and Mabel tried to offer him a reassuring smile, “I’m sorry, it didn’t….it didn’t not…I was trying, to, just, with Jo–”

Dipper shook his head, like a dog shaking off water, and held up both hands, “We don’t have time to talk about this right now. We need to go after Jo.”

“Dip,” Mabel put her hands on his shoulders, trying to meet his eyes, “Maybe she just needs some time to cool off–”

“No, no way,” Dipper brushed her hands off, pacing his room, “Jo’s not going to cool off, she’s going to fucking get herself killed.” He held his face in his hands without slowing down his pacing.

“What are you talking about, Dip?” Mabel asked, exhausted with her siblings’ cryptic ravings, one right after the other.

“She-she took her pack!” Dipper said, pointing at his bed, “She was packing it before the interview, saying-saying she wanted to go after the Lone Pine Mountain Devils!” Dipper rolled his eyes at Mabel’s blank stare, “They’re these really fucking mean bird-dinosaur-raptor things that no one’s ever gotten a picture of because if they see you, they kill you! One whiff of meat and bam, they’re tearing your frickin’ face off!”

“Fun…” Mabel said drily.

“Well, that’s where Jo’s going!” Dipper’s voice cracked, “And she took the Chariot and she speeds like a crazy person, especially when she’s mad, and I’ve never seen her this mad, and I don’t even know why she’s this mad and we don’t have a car–”

“Yes, we do,” Mabel interrupted, and it was Dipper’s turn to stare at her blankly, “Well, you guys were my ride and when you didn’t come to the play, I had to use McMahon’s music van again and–”

“Awesome, can we use it?” Dipper cut in, ignoring the guilt trip about the play.

“Um, yeah,” Mabel said, watching as Dipper pulled his pack from his closet and started filling it on autopilot, having done it a million times.

He glanced over at her watching him, “Don’t just stand there, go get your pack. We have no time to lose!”

With a small eye-roll that Dipper didn’t see, Mabel left to go follow his instructions. Entering her and Jolene’s room gave her a moment’s pause. Her heart twinged looking at Jolene’s side of the room, the disheveled green striped bedsheets, the wall plastered with posters and her drawings. She felt the urge to climb into Jo’s bed, pull the green comforter over her head and go to sleep. She’d been up early and worked hard on the play, on top of that the mess with Jo, and the fight with Dipper, and the kiss… She felt her cheeks redden at the thought of the kiss. She wished she could take it back and go back to how things had been yesterday, but at the same time, she wished she could walk over to his room right now and kiss him again. And again and again, and not stop kissing him until their parents got home.

She pushed these thoughts away as she went over to her closet, digging through the purses and shoes and miscellany on the floor looking for her pack. How long has it been since I was invited on an adventure thingy? She asked herself. Finally she pulled it out, the pink camouflage emerging from the piles of more often worn accessories. Some stuff was still inside it from whenever she’d last used it, some rope, a water-warped map, no longer readable, the round pink canteen that matched the pack. She shook it and it sloshed, and she made a face, wondering how nasty water would taste after years in a plastic bottle. Canteen in hand, pack slung over one shoulder, Mabel trotted quickly downstairs to the kitchen.

She was filling the canteen at the sink when Dipper thumped down the stairs, he peeked his head in, “Are you ready yet?”

“Almost. Water,” She said, trying not to be short with him, “The keys are by the door, with the ‘Phantom of the Opera’ keychain.”

“McMahon is such a dork,” Dipper muttered tensely, turning away, “Hurry up, Mabes!” he shouted back from the door.

Mabel rolled her eyes again but did hurry. She was leaving the kitchen, twisting the cap onto her canteen when she had an idea. She turned back and opened the fridge, remembering the conversation she’d had with Dad that morning. She’d eaten breakfast before Dipper and Jo had gotten up, and had handled Dad’s well-meaning awkwardness all on her own. He’d talked to her about the recipe he’d found for Beef Bourguignon that he was looking forward to trying this week. She opened the fridge and silently thanked Dad. She grabbed one of the two shrink-wrapped packages of stew meat and stuffed it into her pack. If these things are as bloodthirsty as Dip said, she reasoned with herself as she left the house, we might be happy for a distraction.

Chapter 19: Brave

The Mystery Machine purred under Jo’s shaking hands. It was content and happy to be speeding along the highway, oblivious to the agitation of its driver. She’d planned and dreamed about this trip enough that the route was seared into her brain. She figured that was a good thing. There was no way her mind could have followed the tiny text and tangled lines of a map. For once planning wasn’t a waste of time, Jo conceded, thinking of Dipper’s obsessive lists and itineraries. The thought curdled like milk upon contact with the acidity of her pain. Maybe I’ll never see one those stupid plans again.

Jo hadn’t thought that far ahead, but it seemed impossible that she would ever see either of her best friends again. It wasn’t as if she could go back home after all this. And that was if there was any of her left to go back home at all. Her stomach turned as she realized she hoped there would be nothing left. She saw the Lone Pine Mountain Devils in her mind, flapping their grand wings and snapping their jaws. It made her sick, but she hoped they were as ferocious as everyone said.

She moaned aloud in the privacy of the Mystery Machine. She felt too much at once to be quiet. For the first time in her life, she had to admit to herself that she wanted it to end. And why? She was embarrassed, beyond embarrassed, mortified. As she never had been before. I can’t face them, especially Dipper, I can’t I can’t I can’t. Not Dipper who was so logical, so responsible, so reasonable. He must think I’m such an idiot for blowing up like that. And she knew she couldn’t bear to see the pity in Mabel’s eyes again, the desperate appeasing pity that had made her say it meant nothing.

‘It didn’t?’ Dipper’s wounded voice echoed in her mind, lancing through her embarrassment and her anger to the heart of the problem. It had meant something. It had meant so much. She knew, she knew intimately, how much it had meant. It would have meant just the same thing to her.

How long had she harbored this unwanted but undeniable passion within herself? How many times had she snuck glances, touches, sniffs? She had so hated it in herself, so feared that she would be found out. So terrified that if they only knew what she was feeling, they would never forgive her. But she couldn’t have predicted it playing out like this. It doesn’t make any sense! It isn’t fair! They may forgive her, but how could she ever forgive herself?

She’d had a chance. She’d had a chance at getting what she wanted. Dipper had held her in his arms and looked down at her with something a hell of a lot like desire in his eyes. He’d been so handsome, his parted lips so incredibly tempting. If she had just let herself respond, let herself go to him like iron to a magnet, he would be hers right now. Would he? She wondered, Or was it never really me he wanted? Even so, she wished she had kissed him while she had the chance. When she’d run to the bathroom, it hadn’t been with any thought to whether or not there would ever be another opportunity.

You’re full of shit, Jo, she scorned herself, You were never gonna make a move. You were just going to yearn and pine in pathetic silence. But not Mabel. No, never Mabel. Matchmaker, love at first sight, summer romance Mabel would never have been content to sit by and wish away the days for anyone, even her brother. Some part of Jo was sure that Mabel had kissed Dipper. She’d always been pushier, flirtier, more socially adept than her triplets. The Dipper that Jo had left standing nonplussed in his room wouldn’t have turned around and kissed someone else. As much as it felt that way, as much as it stung, he would have been too discouraged, too confused. Mabel had kissed him, no doubt. Typical, Jo admitted to herself, Mabel could have her choice of men, of course I’ve only ever wanted the two of them. She moaned again, this time the one word, “Freeeeeak.”

Would she have been able to kiss Mabel? She couldn’t help wondering. After all, her feelings for Mabel were older, had developed first and been undeniable. She could avoid thinking about Dipper, but she had never been able to set aside how she loved and longed for Mabel. No, she admitted, No, that made it even harder. There was a different brand of rejection at stake. Being pushed away by Mabel would have broken something else in her entirely. Who could bear being turned away by the better version of themself?

If you hadn’t been such a fucking coward, Jolene, she bullied herself, accelerating even more, If you hadn’t run away from him kissing you, you wouldn’t have to run away from him kissing her! It was hard to believe she had been so elated only hours before. High from the Mystery Monthly interview, basking in Dipper’s excitement, that version of Jo felt a million miles away. Why did you run? Aren’t you the brave one? Isn’t that the only goddamn thing you have going for you?

“Yes,” she said to herself, her voice choked with tears, “Brave,” she glanced over at her pack in the passenger seat. She had always been braver than Dipper, even if she wasn’t brave enough to kiss him. His caution had only held them back with Tessie, and it wouldn’t get in her way this time. He nearly died because of you, a doubtful voice in her head reminded her. She pushed it away, Well, then, it’s a good thing he won’t get in my way this time.

Continue to Part 6

#pinecest #pinescest #gravity falls fanfiction #jolene au #jbyc #just because you can #sevralfics

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