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ghosttotheparty · 4 years

Text

cotton candy skies always look better in person

5. also on AO3 chapter four

When Jens wakes up, his head is hurting.

It’s pounding like his brain is pressing against the inside of his skull, every nerve in his head throbbing.

“Fuck.”

He pushes himself up, the carpet he’s on rough under his hands, so he’s sitting. His eyes are squeezed shut, anticipating the light in the room to be bright, and he opens them slowly. The room isn’t as bright he expected, the curtains drawn over the windows, and he opens them more, squinting across the room to see a four-poster bed. He gestures at the bed with an open hand and sighs, drawing his hands into fists as he brings them to his shoulders and pushes his chest out. His back cracks quietly and he groans.

He closes his eyes again, resting his forehead on his forearms as they lay across his knees. After a second, he lifts his head and looks to the ground blearily, seeing his phone. He checks the time, 10:38, and lowers the brightness before opening it.

It opens to his call app. Which tells him that his last call was to Lucas.

And lasted seven hours and twenty-seven minutes.

“Shit.”

He barely remembers it. All he has is a vague memory of Lucas’s laughter in his ear, which, had he not seen his call history, he would have passed off as a dream.

He remembers only pieces of last night. The colour of the plastic cups and flashing lights, the sound of the music. He knows whose house he’s at. (But not what room. He’ll figure that out.) He knows he’s probably not the only person who accidentally slept over.

But he doesn’t know what he said to Lucas last night.

Jesus, what if he said something really awful? What if he just fully confessed to thinking Lucas is the prettiest boy Jens has ever laid eyes on?

He opens their texts, the last of which being just Jens asking if he could call Lucas, no hint of what he could possibly have said in the call. But he supposes he has to find out eventually. So he sends him a text message.

Good morning

When Lucas doesn’t respond right away (Jens isn’t expecting him to), Jens stands, pushing himself up off the floor, until he’s leaning against the closest wall, his eyes closed, a hand pressed to his head as it pulses with pain.

A minute later, Jens is in the hallway, looking down both ways to see a mess of cups, bottles, streamers, and paper plates. He steps over a small pile of clothes outside a dorr as he staggers slowly down the hall, a hand against the wall so he doesn’t lose his balance. After passing more messes and going down the stairs he finds himself in the living room. The couches and floor are littered with bodies, blankets tossed haphazardly over girls whose hair is covering their faces and boys whose mouths hang open as they snore. He passes through as quietly as he can, stepping around bottles and cans until he’s in the kitchen. He squints as he steps in, sunlight reflecting off of the white tile floor and counters.

“Hey.”

He winces at Marcus’s voice, opening an eye to see him and two other guys. Marcus is at the stove, and the others are sitting at the counter, looking over at Jens, who groans in response. They all laugh, and Jens shuts the door behind himself, stepping up to the counter.

“Someone got fucked up last night,” one of them says. Jens doesn’t recognise his voice and can’t be bothered to look and see if he knows his face. Jens brings a finger to his lips, shushing him, and they laugh again.

“Bacon?” Marcus asks, pushing a plate across the counter in his direction, and Jens reaches out, wiggling his fingers before selecting a piece and uttering a quiet “Thanks.”

Jens’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to see that Lucas responded. He feels his cheeks heat up as he opens it.

Good morning! How’s the hangover?

Jens groans internally (how drunk was he when they called?), and sticks the rest of his bacon in his mouth as he responds.

I feel like the inside of my head exploded but the outside didn’t.

He looks up as Lucas types, his eyes getting used to the light. The guys have started talking, and as Jens looks at them, he realises one of them was in his maths class last year. He looks back down at his phone, not following the conversation.

:( poor baby Make sure you drink lots of water and all that

Jens suppresses a smile.

Will do

“Do you need help cleaning up?” he asks Marcus when there’s a break in the conversation.

“No, don’t worry about it. My mom’s not coming home for a few days.” He flips a piece of bacon in the pan. “I’ll make these guys take care of it.” He nods to the boys at the counter.

“Fuck you.”

“I’m gonna leave.”

Jens laughs as he grabs another piece of bacon.

“I think I’m gonna go, my mom’s probably wondering where I am,” he says, taking a bite. “You’re sure you don’t need help?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Marcus repeats.

---

Marcus lives close enough to Jens’s that he decides to walk. He pauses after shutting the door behind himself and stretches his back before making his way down the sidewalk. He pulls the hood of his sweatshirt up and pulls on his jacket, which he had grabbed from a closet at Marcus’s before leaving. He doesn’t have any new messages from Lucas. (He ignores the several “Where are you?” messages from the Broerrrs from last night. He’ll respond when he has a reason that isn’t “I suddenly felt the need to talk to a pretty photographer.”) Feeling brave, he sends a text to Lucas.

Is it okay if I call you?

Within seconds, there’s a response.

Yes, of course

So he does.

“Hey.”

He grins at Lucas’s voice. It’s deep and gravelly like he just woke up.

“What’s up?” Jens asks, not knowing what to say, not knowing why he wanted to call him.

“Dude, my back and shoulders hurt so much.”

“Why?” Jens stops on the sidewalk, stepping into an alley and leaning against the wall, a hand at the small of his back as he leans his head back.

“Because I fell asleep on the floor?” Lucas says it like Jens should already know.

“You too?”

Lucas scoffs.

“You really don’t remember anything from last night, do you?

Oh no.

“No? What were we both doing on the floor?”

“Well-” It sounds like Lucas is sitting up. “You were on the floor when you called and I joined you because you said it was comfortable.”

Jens presses a hand to his face, sighing.

“Of course.”

He hears Lucas laugh.

“How wasted were you last night?” he asks, still laughing.

“More wasted than I said I was,” Jens responds, chuckling.

“You remember what you said?”

“No, not at all. I just know I’m stupid when I’m drunk so I probably said some bullshit. And I’m sorry for anything else I said.”

Jens is still nervous about what he said to Lucas. He feels hot, even though it’s chilly outside.

“Yeah, you said you were tipsy, which is obviously an understatement.” Jens shakes his head at himself as Lucas continues. “And you didn’t really say much else, you fell asleep.

“Why does it say we called for like seven hours?”

“Well, I fell asleep after that without hanging up.”

“Ah.” Jens doesn’t believe that that’s all he said. “So I didn’t say anything else weird? I can’t be held responsible for what I say when I’m drunk.”

“Actually, you know what, there was one thing-” Lucas cuts himself off, laughing gently, the sound of it muffled like he’s covering his mouth with his hand.

“Oh no, what did I do?” He can feel his heart beating faster.

“Okay, you may have used a pick-up line on me that I am never going to forget, and never going to let you forget, I’m going to remind of this every day until we’re eighty.”

“Fuck.” Jens covers his face with a hand and steps away from the wall, rolling his eyes at himself. Of course it was a pick-up line. “What did I say?”

“So—” Lucas giggles. “You asked if I believe in God and when I asked why, you said— you said that if he’s real, God was having a good day when he made me.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Jens throws his head back and lets out a groan. “That’s— I’m so sorry.” He can hear Lucas laughing.

“It was so cute, you were like, falling asleep as you said it, it was great.”

“You’re never going to let me forget about it.”

“Nope.”

---

“Hey-o.”

Jens grins and turns his head to see Lucas bouncing up next to his as Lena disappears from his view.

“Hey.”

Lucas’s hands are clasped in from of him, his fingers twisting his ring, and he’s smiling brightly, quirking his eyebrows at him. They stare at each other from a few seconds (or a few minutes; Jens seems to lose track of time when he looks at Lucas… or just thinks about him), before Lucas breaks the silence.

“How are you?” He tilts his head at Jens innocently.

“Mm-hmm.” It’s like he’s lost all control over his articulation, over his thoughts. He looks into Lucas’s eyes, that seem to be practically glowing in the golden light of the sun, looks at his freckles against his skin, at his little smile that grows at Jens continues to look at it.

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Lucas says, and Jens’s eyes snap back to his.

“Uhm…” Jens sighs, looking away and adjusting his grip on his bag. “I’m tired. Could use a nap.”

“Hm.” Lucas presses his lips together in a sympathetic half-smile. “We can go sit on a dumpster if you’d like.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Lucas grins and raises his eyebrows at him like they’re going off on some adventure and not ten feet down the sidewalk. He walks ahead of Jens and Jens follows the pattern of his shirt, a muted colour-block sweatshirt, as they walk. Lucas looks like he walked right off the set of an eighties movie. Jens loves it, smiling to himself softly.

“Well, we have a problem,” Jens says, turning into the alley, and Jens sees it immediately. The dumpster is filled past the brim with plastic bags, the lid hanging open.

“That’s weird,” Jens says, stepping next to Lucas as they both stare at it.

“Truly.”

“What now?”

“Uhm,” Lucas says, hesitating, and then shrugs. “We can sit on the ground.”

A second passes before Jens responds, “Yeah, why not?”

He tosses his bag to the ground and site, pressing his back to the wall, and Lucas joins him, sitting with his back against the side of the dumpster, facing Jens and the empty street. Jens’s breath catches nervously when Lucas sits, as he’s sat close to the bin, thinking Lucas would sit at his side. Instead, Lucas back against the bin, lifting his legs and setting them over Jens’s, which are extended in front of him. The backs of Lucas’s thighs press lightly against the tops of Jens’s, and Jens lifts his hand awkwardly, not knowing what to do with it.

He settles for setting one hand on Lucas’s shin and the other gently on his knee, his fingers brushing back and forth over the worn denim of his jeans. Lucas sighs, leaning his head back and looking at him, his own hands folded in front of him.

“Do you know any good cafes around here?” Lucas asks, looking at Jens with softly smiling eyes.

“Uhm…” Jens sighs, laying his head on the wall behind him and looking away. This feels easy, sitting here, touching Lucas. Comfortable. “Depends on what you’re looking for.” He looks back at Lucas.

“Cake.”

“Cake…” Jens looks away again, puckering his lips and looking at the sky as he thinks. “Yeah, I can think of one. I haven’t had their cakes, but I’ve seen them in the window. They look lovely.”

“You’ll have to take me some time.” There’s a smile in his voice.

“Mm,” Jens hums in agreement, absentmindedly scratching his nails over Lucas’s knee. Lucas closes his eyes briefly, looking peaceful.

“Oh!” Lucas exclaims, and reaches into his pocket, moving his hips slightly, pulling his phone out. “I didn’t bring my camera today, so…” He swipes after the screen opens and points it at Jens.

Jens lifts his hands to his face, pressing his palms to his cheeks, and pouts, facing the camera. Lucas smiles, clicking.

Jens drops his hands back to Lucas’s leg and Lucas leans toward him, moving the camera so it’s pointing at his hand on Lucas’s knee. Jens looks at Lucas’s face as he takes a picture, his brows drawn in focus, his lower lip caught between his teeth, and Jens smiles. A breeze passes through the alley and Jens catches a whiff of Lucas’s smell, the smell that is distinctly him, as Lucas’s hair falls in his face.

Lucas straightens up, jerking his head to the side slightly to toss his hair out of his face, and looks at Jens, who smiles and looks away, tilting his head back to look at the sky. It’s almost cloudless.

He hears a quiet click and a soft chuckle and looks at Lucas, who is looking at his phone.

“Yeah,” Lucas says as he gazes at the screen that lights up his face.

“Yeah, what?”

“God was having a good day when he made you.” Lucas grins as Jens groans and puts his phone away, giggling as Jens rolls his eyes and looks away, trying not to smile as his face burns.

“I can’t believe I said that,” he says quietly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lucas says, reaching out and patting Jens’s hand. “It was cute.” He hesitates a second and leaves his hand on top of Jens’s, softly running his fingertips over Jens’s knuckles, leaving sparks in their trail.

Jens takes a shaky breath as he smiles, looking at their hands. He spreads his fingers and Lucas copies him, their fingers entwining. Jens’s curl, trapping Lucas’s, and Lucas runs his thumb across the back of Jens’s hand gently. Jens glances at Lucas to see that he’s smiling at their hands. He looks sleepy, and Jens smiles again. He untwists their fingers, turning his hand around so he’s holding Lucas’s fingers, analysing his nails. They’re a soft blue, matching shards of Lucas’s eyes.

“Pretty,” Jens says, feeling Lucas watching him.

“You think so?”

“Mm-hmm.” He looks at Lucas, letting their fingers tangle easily.

“I don’t even know what my friends would say about it.”

“Utrecht friends?”

Lucas hums in affirmation.

“You didn’t paint your nails in Utrecht?” Jens watches as Lucas shakes his head. “Why not?”

Lucas sighs, leaning his head back.

“I was different in Utrecht.”

“Is that good?”

Lucas smiles, lightly nodding. “They knew old Lucas. Straight, short-hair, skater Lucas.”

“What Lucas do I know?”

Lucas holds eye contact with his, twisting his mouth as he thinks.

“Lucas Lucas,” he says.

Jens smiles, nodding.

“What changed?” he asks curiously. “Why weren’t you Lucas Lucas in Utrecht?”

“Uhm…” Lucas looks up at the sky. “I lived there my whole life. You know, same friends, same classmates, same neighbours. So I acted like them.” He looks at Jens. “I learned to skate because of my friends. Made out with girls at parties. Stuff like that.” He pauses and Jens nods. “I mean of course I love my friends. And it’s not like I was lying to them, you know? I just wasn’t… showing the whole truth?”

“Yeah.”

They speak quietly, listening to passing cars and people talking across the street, the sound and meaning of their words lost in the distance.

“And then I move to a new city. Where no one knows me. I don’t have to worry about people recognising me, or wondering or asking why I’m… acting weird.”

Jens tightens his grip on Lucas’s hand as he continues.

“I don’t have to pretend anything. I get to be whatever, or whoever, I want.” He shrugs. “So I choose to be me.”

Jens smiles and nods lightly.

“I like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Jens brings Lucas’s hand to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Lucas smiles.

“For the record,” Jens says after a quiet second, running his fingertips over Lucas’s hand and wrist, “I like Lucas Lucas best.”

“You’ve never met old Lucas, though.”

Jens watches his mouth as he says it, holding back from leaning across Lucas’s legs and kissing him right now.

“I don’t want to,” he says softly.

#im too emotionally invested in them #theyre so in love #i physically cannot write a slowburn even tho i want to #im too impatient #im not sorry #van der stoffels #vds #van der stoffels fic #vds fic #jens stoffels #lucas van der heijden #jens and lucas #jens x lucas #cotton candy skies #cotton candy skies always look better in person

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