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bitofthisandthat · 4 years

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[ Sleeping Patterns ]

Tagged by : @heedingcalls Tagging: @iim-a-pilot @feathersandforests @gamblealife @ducktales-wco-oo @anthropolite @womenofice @warraigoe ( That...that’s enough people to bug )

Gabby.

Name: Gabby Mcstabberson Ethnicity: ( Eagle/peahen half-breed ) Probably East Indian & White; but what specific white culture is a ? to her given her orphan status. McStabberson isn’t a real surname, but code. Country: She was raised/dumped off in central Japan, but has been all over. She has no one country that she belongs to. She’s lived in Europe, Asia Major, and US all at different times. Residence: Calisota, Duckburg and St.Canard. ( currently ) Average hours of sleep: 6-8, but if on watch or a mission, she sleeps in 2-3 hour shifts. Type of bed: Anywhere between a luxury hotel bed queen-king, to crashing in the wild/caves with just a bedroll. She’s slept in temple/church attics when on the road. She’s even slept in trees if it meant safe hiding. But if she’s in one of her safe houses, it’s a wide square free-form cushy double mattress no frame, ( futon style ) just loose cotton sheets & memory foam. Amount of blankets: If she’s indoors, she usually just needs a couple high count cotton/bamboo sheets, and cocoons herself with those plus a light throw. If it’s cold, she will bury herself under the usual sheets plus a luxe down blanket. If outdoors, it’s just an an insulated camping roll that can withstand the elements. Amount of pillows: Indoors? she will usually build a curved pile of 2-3, and plant down in the middle, or use the excess blanket as added padding. Outdoors, she usually has no pillow, but she was accustomed to sleeping with none when she was raised among her syndicate/temple. So, she CAN do without any headrest if on the road, but once she has cover or access to indoors, she’s using whatever padding she can. Type of clothing: If outdoors or on the job? Her clothes remain on, obviously. She MAY take off her boots if the terrain isn’t too dangerous. Indoors, she really would rather sleep nude/panties. Sometimes it’s just a crop-tank and panties. She’ll walk around in a short robe or shorts if she’s out of bed, though. Sometimes a slip. But honestly she’s all about as little on her as possible when indoors/safe. Do they sleep with company?: Verse dependent. Otherwise, she does not sleep with anybody out of peace of mind and safety. If she’s indulging in sexual company, after they’re done, she’s out the door, sometimes sneaking out while her partner’s asleep. Yeaaaaah. Do they sleep with plushies?: Nope. Not even as a kid. :/ However, the monkey she had then would sleep near her. Though in Lola’s verse, ( @hoopsheartthrob ) if she crashes on the sofa from exhaustion, she has woken up with a blanket over her and one of Lola’s plushies wrapped in her arms somehow. Do they sleep better with company?: It doesn’t make a difference to her at all. Though in her ship verses, she is alarmed at how much harder it is for her to fall asleep and stay asleep without her lover there. If she’s in their bed together, she will nuzzle up and cocoon on THEM more than her usual blanket fort. Does it matter where they sleep?: Noooooo. XD If she can sit up in the crotch of a tree or lay down on a cave floor I think she’s okay. Though she sleeps lighter outside because of her light sleeping/vigilance. She obviously MUCH prefers nice bed and fine linens; after leaving that syndicate/temple lifestyle, she never looked back to the days of sleeping like a dog in a barn ever again. If on a mission, she does what she has to do to sleep wherever. She can usually count down and fall right to sleep instantly. Consider it her martial-monk training. Frequent dreams, nightmares?: She has either NO recalled dreams at all, or vividly surreal ones that may disturb or confuse her, but not scare her. What do they do if they cannot fall asleep?: She’ll try mediating first, but if her mind’s racing too much and it’s impossible to sleep, depending where she is, she’ll give into the alertness and either go out in the night to walk, look at the stars, or cityscape. Sometimes she looks up an old hook-up and attempts to wear herself out that way. But most of the time, the meditation works to calm her down. Deep slumber or naps?: She’s a light sleeper, so deep sleep is relative. If she can’t get 6-8 uninterrupted hours of slumber, after a long night mission with little to no sleep, she’ll make up for it after she’s “off the clock” by taking a few isolated naps at her safe house. She won’t ever do without rest!!! When do they wake up?: Depends entirely on her job du jour. But normally, she’s an early riser, not just out of habit, but she HAS to start her day with meditation and some kind of stretching/low impact work out. Then her breakfast, etc. In ship verses she’ll stay in bed a bit longer if it means she’s comfortably curled around them. When do they sleep?: She’ll stay up pretty late to the wee hours of the morning if she’s on a mission or fun night out, but normally she tries to be in bed by 11-midnight. Seeing is how she’s up like clockwork around 6:30-8am. What could wake them up?: She’s a light sleeper, so a lot, pfft. On the road, it just has to be subtle shuffling or murmur outside her campsite or hotel door, and when she’s outdoors, she does NOT sleep deep. A frog hopping into a puddle could wake her. If she’s in one of her safe houses or ship-verses, any noise from a drawer opening/closing or a deep mattress bob will do it, and when she wakes, she’s either ready to fight off whatever’s there, or annoyingly ask with bleary eyes what they’re doing ( if a friend/lover ). But then, she’ll slip back to sleep instantly with an exasperated sigh. So partners gotta leave the bedroom if they can’t sleep and do things like pace around the room or watch TV. JUST SAYIN’. She’s been conditioned since a child to always be ready to fight someone off if they sneak in on you while you sleep.

Gladstone.

Name: Gladstone Gander Ethnicity: ( Sebastopol goose-pecking duck half breed ) Culturally wise, whatever his fam is? Scottish-English-French? Country: USA Residence: Duckburg, Calisota--currently. Though canonly he’s lived in the countryside outside of Duckburg with his grandma and cousins after orphaned as a small child. He’s also lived in other glamorous or exciting cities at random stints given his gambling, stage career, and due to wherever Lady Luck has sent him. He always ends up back at Duckburg, though! Average hours of sleep: 8-10, sometimes 12 if he’s been out way too late and partied way too hard. Some of those hangovers are a bitch. He also surrenders to jet lag with no objection after long trips and just HIBERNATES. The man does love to lounge and sleep in finery. Type of bed: King, and of course, top of the line. He did try out waterbeds and other bizarre bed trends here and there just to see how comfortable ( or sexy ) it was. He is the first to go for gimmick style sleeping if it means a new way to experience comfort. Currently, he has a purple mattress-sleep number type deal he’s very proud of. 🙄 And his frame, of course, is imported and a high-end style. Amount of blankets: He does go full luxe, so the finest sheets plus at least 2-3 blankets; one thinner cashmere, one medium thick plain white down quilt, and finally, one thick, “royal” style comforter that usually is just rolled back off the foot of the bed if he’s got company. But usually it’s just the sheets and the down quilt covering him. Amount of pillows: 2 king sized ortho pillows side by side, so he can roll to whatever side and have the same level of comfort. He does have some random pillows at his sides also, as he shifts around in his sleep and ends up in different positions if he’s sleeping alone. Type of clothing: He sleeps totally nude, let’s be real here. He may saunter around his place in various luxe robes, or if he’s got family or friends over, he’ll wear pajamas around them out of courtesy, but once he’s in his bedroom and the door’s shut? 100% naked as a....jay...bird. Do they sleep with company?: Yesss...whether we’re in a ship verse or not, he’s pretty canonly...uh...popular. He gets around. He doesn’t think it’s gentlemanly to send a lady home right after they’ve done the deed, and his bed is huge and amazingly luxurious, so he’ll offer her “breakfast and coffee” as the quintessential code. Do they sleep with plushies?: Ha, no. “Not sexy, folks.” As a kid he had a couple, obviously. He’s woken up with a random plushie or action figure on his chest or head posed in hilarious ways whenever he falls asleep babysitting the kiddos, but other than that, nope. Do they sleep better with company?: Yes, actually. He does sleep alone more than you’d think, which when he does, he’s all over the place in his own bed. After all, he IS lonely under that bravado and vanity, so half his conquests may be some underlaying need to wake up with someone at his side. He doesn’t toss and turn at all if he’s got company---be it romantic or familial. Does it matter where they sleep?: YES. Glad is a creature who loves his comforts. If it’s not just so, he’s a cranky bastard the next day. He’s extremely picky about where and how he sleeps if he’s on vacation with family and friends, infamously so. His bed at home is already tailor made to his specifics, and he knows which hotels fit his standards. Frequent dreams, nightmares?: He gets very vivid, happy, beautiful dreams. Of course he does. He also gets a lot of er...sexy dreams, too. But I digress. When he DOES have nightmares they are incredibly disturbing and horrific, showcasing family hells they’ve all endured or curses on the horizon, some are supernaturally caused nightmares. When he gets the rare nightmare, he ain’t falling back to sleep any time soon. What do they do if they cannot fall asleep?: He’ll watch some late night TV like shopping networks and infomercials while sipping some liquor. Sometimes he’ll read through some biography books he has or magazines...Sometimes he’ll call an old girlfriend up and bug her, or try and get a booty call out of it. Or he’ll call a family member or friend that may be up or not, and fein false shame and be all: “Oooooh did I wake you?” and then go on to chat until he hears them fall asleep on the other line. Then, usually he can fall asleep again. Deep slumber or naps?: Depends; he is a cat napper if it’s midday, he’s on a boat, an outdoor chaise, or hammock---and the sun’s warming his face and he has a cocktail or lemonade in hand. Because, hey, he can’t help it with THAT kind of set up. But, since he already gets an obscene amount of nightly sleep, cat naps are totally accidental and rare. When do they wake up?: Around 9 or 10am if it’s a normal schedule, but noon-2pm if he’s been out all night partying or on the gambling circuit. When do they sleep?: Whenever he feels like crashing. He doesn’t have a same-set time every night. Sometimes he turns in early around 10, sometimes he glances at the clock and it says 4am, and he’s just “WHOOPS. Bedtime.” What could wake them up?: He sleeps like a log once he IS out, so a lot of shoving or shaking ( or “adult contact” if you’re one of his ship verses ). But, ultimately, he has an alarm like anyone else.

Negaduck.

Name: REDACTED. ( J/K: Drake Mallard, of course. Nega-versed but same name ) Ethnicity: ( Pecking duck ) “Euro-mutt.” Country: USA ( Negaverse version ) Residence: St.Canard, Calisota ( Negaverse ) as well as St.Canard “Prime.” Average hours of sleep: 6-7. For an ornery bastard when he lays down, he conks out. Type of bed: Sometimes he falls asleep sitting up in his recliner watching TV, or if he’s too beat up and injured to lay down on a bed, and needs to keep his feet up. ( Like if his ribs are bruised too badly to lay flat. ) But when he sleeps in bed, depending on if he’s in one of his hideouts, hotels, or the Negaverse, it’s either a queen or king with loose, messy sheets and a couple mis-matched blankets and a 2 pillows that are not the same size or quality. If he’s in one of his fancy hotel spreads, obviously it’s super luxe accommodations as he smokes a cigar while wearing a haute bathrobe. Though, in his abandoned subway hideout, it’s just a twin-sized mattress on a prison-style cot with a fitted sheet and one blanket with a mushed-up small pillow. Honestly, he can fall asleep on concrete. Amount of blankets: He can’t stand to be covered with more than a rumpled sheet unless it’s freezing, then he’ll also use one oversized thick comforter/quilt. Ship-verse wise, whatever her bed is like, he’s adjusted to THAT, and little else. But he will end up kicking the blankets off of himself some time during the night, regardless how many she uses. Amount of pillows: Honestly, it starts off with one, but he always ends up with his head flat on the mattress...In ship verses? Her chest. 🙄 Type of clothing: Boxers only, but if he’s with a lover, that’s nixed for nekkid sleepin’. Back in the Negaverse, he’ll fall asleep with his boxers and his robe on. Sometimes Gos crawls into bed if she had a nightmare, so he’s always dressed just in case. Do they sleep with company?: Sometimes....Ship verses, yes. Everywhere else, IF he’s worn out after a romp, he’ll stick around. But usually he vamooses after he’s sealed the deal, so she doesn’t get any bright ideas about them. If she’s sleeping over one of his hotel stays? Sometimes he’ll let her stay over...but he makes it pretty clear she better not stay past morning coffee. Cab faire is SOMETIMES provided. Otherwise? HE SLEEPS ALONE, DAMNIT!! Do they sleep with plushies?: Only if Gos left hers behind and got out of bed first. XD Do they sleep better with company?: It really doesn’t matter to him. Once he’s out, he sleeps like a rock. In ship verses he’s gotten used to his dame so he’ll begrudgingly admit to himself he’s gotta crash with her. That is, unless they’re fighting, then he’s staying the hell away from her. And probably sleep on the sofa. Does it matter where they sleep?: Nope! After being in prison where you sleep on terrible cots and have to watch your ass ( literally ) constantly, or being knocked out after a caper and waking up in filthy, uncomfortable places like warehouse floors or alleyways, he can pretty much fall asleep anywhere. Though, it IS nice to have his comfy chair or lady friend’s bed. Frequent dreams, nightmares?: Half the time he has NO dreams/nightmares, just black, blank sleep. The other chunk of time ( about a quarter of the time ) he has nightmares, which he takes to be “his normal” dreams. They involve a lot of his life in symbolism, disturbing metaphors, and warnings, and replays of past traumas that still haunt him. He denies openly that he has PTSD, even as it effects his dreamscape. When he has truly normal or pleasant dreams, he wakes up suspicious. What do they do if they cannot fall asleep?: He takes a hot shower or bath, smokes a cigar while in the tub, maybe has a tumbler of whisky too. He’ll probably jack-off later if he’s still awake. Sometimes he’ll take a sleep aid or medication, because he will do whatever it takes to knock himself out without actually knocking himself out... Deep slumber or naps?: Deep, deep, deeeeeeep sleeps. Most of his naps tend to be “involuntary,” post fight. When he does nap it’s only because he’s had a LONG, hard job and he just CRASHES. If he crashes at home in the Negaverse on the sofa, Gos usually covers him with one of her princess blankets and puts a few of her plushies around him. When do they wake up?: Depending on the scene! On a job he pulls sleep shifts and wakes up as needed to his schedule. Normally, he’s up by 8 am, unless he’s been injured and accidentally finds himself in bed all day. Or, if a job made him crash in at sunrise, he’ll be up around noon. When do they sleep?: Whenever needed according to his work schedule. Sometimes he has to be asleep by as early as 7pm if he has to pull a big job by midnight, sometimes he IS in bed by midnight. If he’s on the run or a job is taking forever, he’s collapsing in bed around 4-5 am. He has the most chaotic sleep schedule EVER. What could wake them up?: Remember, he sleeps the sleep of the dead, so he needs ceremony. Soooo if you’re his squeeze du jour or a ship verse? Sex. Or, just violently shaking him awake, jumping ON him roughly, slapping him awake, having his alarm at high volume, or if you’re Gos, prying his eye open with her fingers and saying “DAD!...oh! Are you up?” while in his face...Also, brewing strong, good coffee down the hall will magically do it. Otherwise he has an internal clock that just wakes him up without an alarm.

#HEADCANON || GABBY #HEADCANON || GLADSTONE #HEADCANON || NEGADUCK #DIRTY DEEDS #{ Only tagging it DD because these 3 have a few methods to fall asleep/get up that aren't sfw XDD }#{ SO long tis why it's under a cut YEESH. }

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magmasliveblogs · 5 years

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1.07

its late but its here! the 8th chapter! to recap, last chapter erin discovered acid flies, got rid of the fish, discovered flying pterodactyls who lay eggs, stole some eggs, made pasta, and was greeted by a bug man who knocked on her door as she was about to eat pasta

A giant insect stood in the doorway. It had large, black, bulbous eyes, a dark brown chitinous body, and a pair of swords at its sides. It also had a huge abdomen and two long pincers coming out of its mouth. And it had four arms.

Erin stared at the ant-creature. It opened its mouth and began to speak.

“Good evening, Human. I was wondering if my colleague and I could take up a moment of your time—”

Erin shut the door. Then she bolted it. Where did she put the kitchen knife?

bit of a knee jerk reaction but hey, would you do anything else?

“You idiot. I told you that this is why I should have opened the door.”

The Goblin’s knives were on the table. She grabbed both and tried to think. Knife. Chair? There were lots of chairs.

“Maybe it was a bad time?”

Or windows. Erin looked around. Plenty of windows. She’d jump out one if she needed to.

“Move over. Let me show you how it’s done.”

Someone knocked on the door again. Erin froze, and then went back. Very slowly, she opened the door.

a different species maybe?

A giant lizard—no, a miniature dragon that looked sort of like a human stared down at Erin. He had to be at least six and a half feet tall. His scales were light green, and he had sharp, sharp claws on each hand. When he smiled she saw his teeth. Oh, and he had a forked tongue.

“Hello Miss. Sorry if we—”

Erin shut the door, bolted it, and dragged a table in front of it. She could feel her heart pounding out of her chest as she pushed another table in the way. Knives were no good. She’d have to jump out a window after all.

ok yeah i think erin is having a bit of an over reaction but hey, shes had a tough couple of days

“Good job not scaring her.”

“Shut up.”

Were they talking? Erin listened hard. Her hands were shaking so hard she couldn’t hold anything.

“Now what? I do not believe breaking and entering would be appropriate at this moment.”

“What, are you crazy? Let me talk. That was just a misunderstanding caused by seeing your face. I’ll straighten all this out.”

One voice was higher than the other and had a strange clicking quality about it. Erin guessed that was the insect’s. The other, the lizardman, pronounced his words with elongated s’s. And they were both speaking in English.

“Hello? Miss? We’re not dangerous.”

welp we have an insect and a reptile at the door and erin hasnt said anything

to the window. But she had to ask.

“…Are you a dragon?”

She heard a surprised laugh from outside the door.

“Am I a dragon? Aha. Haha. Well, that’s just—oh, bite me. I mean, do I look like one? Maybe I do. What do you think?”

“You are blushing.”

“Be quiet. I’m in a good mood now.”

The lizardman raised his voice again.

“Excuse me? I’m not a dragon, Miss Human. I’m just a lowly Drake in service to the city watch. Me and my idiot partner were on patrol when we noticed the smoke. May we come in? I promise we won’t bite.”

“Or inflict other forms of bodily or mental harm upon you.”

“Shut up. Are you trying to scare her?”

no that is not a dragon erin, but hey it seems you have flattered the reptile. also it seems the insect isnt that good at social interactions

Erin debated. Somewhere in her mind she was trying to decide whether she should be laughing or panicking. And if she was going to laugh, would it be funny laughter or hysterics?

She couldn’t decide. So instead—

“Um. Give me a moment. I’ll open this door.”

“Thank you very much.”

Erin dragged the tables out of the way and hesitantly unlatched the door. She opened it and stared at the insect and giant lizard again. The insect just stared at her. The lizard on the other hand opened its mouth and curved its lips upward. It might have been a smile.

“…Hi.”

wonderful start erin, wonderful start

Erin’s hand tensed on the door. The lizard guy put his hand on the door and stopped her from closing it.

“Sorry, sorry Miss. We’re not here to hurt you, I promise.”

Erin hoped that was the case. She couldn’t budge the door an inch. But this wasn’t the time for flight, right? She took a different tact.

“Want something to eat?”

The lizardman blinked.

“Um, sure.”

“Okay. That’s great.”

Erin opened the door slowly. The lizardman smiled and carefully stepped inside. The giant insect walked in too and gave her a polite nod.

“Good evening.”

“…Hi.”

it seems her new [inkeeper] instincts could be kicking in.

“Food’s over there.”

“Ooh! Pasta! This is good stuff!”

The lizardman—Drake rubbed his hands together. The noise the scales made sounded like sandpaper. He went to sit at the table but the insect guy paused.

“I would gladly partake of nourishment if offered. However we would not wish to deprive you of your meal.”

“What? No. I’ve got lots of pasta.”

Erin pointed vaguely back to the kitchen.

“Let me just get a plate and…forks. Do you uh, want a drink? I’ve got water.”

“I’ll have a glass if that’s alright.”

“I will accept the pasta and water as well. But may I inquire if you have any bugs?”

“…No. No I do not.”

“A pity.”

a bug eating bugs, ironic

“Here. Uh, I’ve got juice as well. Want a glass?”

“Oh, thank you. It’s…blue.”

“Yeah. I made it myself. It tastes good, really.”

“Well, I’ll gladly accept. Klbkch, you want any?”

“I will pass for the moment. We should get down to business rather than partake of food.”

“In a moment. Let’s eat first. This looks good!”

Erin stared. Here was an opportunity. She had two creatures who could not only speak English for some reason, but were also not inclined to kill her and were eating her food. There were so many questions she could ask about herself, about where she was, about everything really.

It might be her questions would decide her ultimate fate. Probably not, but they were certainly important. But before Erin could ask any of the questions, including how a ‘Drake’ and giant ant learned to use a knife and fork, she had to ask again.

“…Are you sure you’re not a dragon?”

i hope the juice isnt poisonous to these people! also business? they are presumably from that settlement, but what sort of business could they have?

“…So someone on the walls spotted the smoke and called it in. Since it didn’t seem like a grassfire and since we knew this place was abandoned years ago the Captain decided to send someone to check it out.”

“To put in succinctly: we saw the fire and decided to investigate.”

The giant lizard turned and glared at his ant-man companion.

“That’s what I said.”

“You said it poorly. I am merely rephrasing your words for the benefit of all.”

“See, this. This is why no one else is willing to be your partner.”

“Your hurtful remarks are unnecessary. Besides which, I believe we are getting off track. We are in the presence of a member of the general public, remember.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

The lizardman cleared his throat. It sounded weird to Erin; much deeper and bassy than normal.

Actually, everything was weird to Erin at the moment. Not least were the two creatures sitting across from her.

oooo some local guardsmen! so they are from the settlement.

“Miss?”

Erin jumped.

“Me? Hi, yes, me.”

The lizardman gulped down some of the blue juice.

“Sorry, but can we ask you a few question about where you’re from? It’s pretty odd to find a Human out here, let alone in an abandoned place like this. Not that we mean to pry, it’s just that it’s kind of our job to ask these questions.”

“What? Oh, it’s no problem. Ask away.”

im going to skip over a bit, its just erin saying shes from earth and them being confused as to what earth is

“Look. It’s complicated and I can’t really explain. But would you believe…magic? Like a crazy, crazy, uh, teleportation spell?”

“Oh, a teleportation spell? Was it a misfire or did someone target you?”

“Um. I didn’t see anything when it happened. I just sort of turned the corner and—look, the point is I suddenly appeared around here. And then…dragon.”

“I told you. It’s flattering, but I’m not a drag—oh.”

The ant-man leaned forward.

“Do you mean to say you found a dragon? Somewhere around this area?”

Erin blinked.

“Is uh, that a bad thing? I mean, it’s a dragon yeah, but isn’t he…?”

ooo a teleportation spell gone wrong. thats a good cover story

“Look. It’s getting sort of embarrassing. I’m not a dragon. I’m a Drake. And yeah, we’re distantly related cousins but dragons are seriously bad news. They eat folks. You said you saw one?”

“It breathed at me. Fire. And then I was chased by little green men.”

“Goblins.”

“Right, them. And then I found a giant dino-bird—”

“A what?”

“A big…big leathery thing. With wings.”

“Oh, right. Those annoying things.”

“And there was a crab-rock, I mean, a rock-crab, and then I found blue fruits before that and…I met you two. A not-dragon and an insect. Who don’t want to eat me? Or is that after the meal?”

The lizard guy looked shocked and offended.

“Of course we wouldn’t eat you! That’s barbaric and besides, it’s illegal. I mean, okay, sure, it happens sometimes in distant villages but we wouldn’t do that. Right, Klbkch?”

oo we have a name! looks hard for a human to say. i shall be using his nickname of klb, which is what the community largely uses when referring to him

The lizard man turned to his friend.

“Indeed. We would not violate our duty as guardsmen.”

“Your duty? You’re…guardsmen? And you…you’re K—kbch?”

The insect man raised one feeler.

“Our pardons. We have not introduced ourselves. Allow me to correct this mistake. I am Klbkch, Senior Guardsmen in employ of the city. This is my partner.”

“Relc!”

The lizardman raised his glass.

“And this blue juice tastes good!”

“Indeed. And I must apologize again, but our true intent in coming here was to ascertain the danger posed here.”

thought it was obvious from before, but yeah, guardsmen as i said earlier.

Erin looked around.

“From what? Me?”

“Not you, specifically. Really, it could be anything. We thought it might be a random fire, or a few Goblins. If there were some stupid kids on the other hand, we’d be dragging them back right now since it’s dangerous to stay here.”

Erin met his gaze in alarm. He had very yellow eyes with black pupils.

“Danger? Why danger? Is there something wrong with me staying here?”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with you staying here. Aside from dying, that is.”

“Dying?”

Relc kicked Klbkch under the table.

“It’s just a possibility. This uh, place is sort of bad. For your health.”

Erin looked blank. Klbkch cut in.

“The plague. This location was once a small community until everyone here died. Horribly.”

Erin put her head in her hands.

“So am I going to die by puking out my guts or something?”

“Actually, the plague symptoms manifest themselves as—”

Relc kicked Klbkch again.

“Why don’t you shut up and let me talk? Look, Miss Human. You’re probably not sick if you’re still walking around.”

“And not oozing.”

well now we know why the village was abandoned, and why the skeleton was in the bed upstairs!

“Shut up. Ahem. We were just sent here to make sure no Goblins or nasty creatures started living here. We’ve got no problem with Humans. Well, at least the non-violent kind.”

“Indeed. There is no law against occupying this area.”

They both stared at her. Erin felt compelled to speak.

“Good. Thanks?”

“Right.”

“Indeed.”

“…Want another plate of pasta?”

“Oh, sure.”

“I will have another as well.”

Erin ladled noodles onto each plate. The diners were silent for a moment as each slurped down their noodles, or in the case of Klbkch, did something complex with its mouth-hole. Erin didn’t look closer.

After a while Relc put down his fork.

“This really is quite good. How’d you make this all the way out here?”

“Oh, I found some flour and butter and stuff in one of the cupboards. It had a runey…thing on the shells.”

“That would be a preservation spell. It is quite common among higher-class establishments.”

“But you cooked it, then? Do you have levels in a [Chef] class, then?”

Erin stared at Relc.

“Levels? Oh. No. I’ve got levels in uh, [Innkeeper].”

“Oh, I see, I see. That’s convenient. Did you earn them here?”

“Uh, yeah. Every time I fell asleep I kept leveling. I’m uh, level 4.”

“Not bad! Especially if you just got here a few days ago. Did the notification wake you up right as you were falling asleep? I hate that.”

yep, the system is a widespread thing. also of course those runes would be widespread, they are very useful

once again going to skip over a bit because its just erin asking about leveling and all that

“Hey!”

Relc’s fist smashed into the table. Every plate on the table jumped into the air and Erin nearly fell out of her chair. She looked at Relc. He was scowling, but when he glanced at her pale face he stopped and looked guilty.

“Um. Sorry about that. Really. But uh, can we talk about that name?”

“N-name?”

“Yeah. You um, called me a lizard person, right?”

“Is that wrong?”

“…Yes. Yes, it is. I’m a Drake, not one of the lizardfolk. There’s a big difference.”

“Sorry. Sorry about that.”

“Uh, don’t apologize. Look, maybe I overreacted a bit. I’m not uh, mad…”

Klbkch kicked Relc under the table.

“I believe it was my turn to do that. Apologize to the Human for your rudeness.”

“…Yeah, sorry.”

Relc bowed his head down low, until the spiny crest on his head nearly touched the tabletop. Erin waved her hands urgently.

“Oh no, no. Please don’t do that. I didn’t know it was so rude. If I’d have known I’d have never—there’s a big difference between lizard people and Drakes, right?”

“Only a few differences, but the animosity between their cultures is—”

“Shut up. I’m still sorry. But yeah, there’s a big difference. I mean, sure most Humans can’t tell us apart, but the lizardfolk live near water and can breathe underwater too, some of them. Whereas we Drakes like drier climates. We enjoy warm sun, open spaces…”

“Nice rocks to laze about upon while we should be performing our duties.”

“You’re just an overgrown ant. You be quiet. Anyways, we’re special. Those guys are just amphibians that learned to walk on two legs. We’re related to Dragons. We’ve got special powers.”

“Like what?”

“We can breathe fire. Some of us can, at least.”

Relc sat back and folded his arms with a triumphant grin. Erin and Klbkch stared at him in silence.

ah yes, this large racial thing. what they dont say now is that lizardfolk live on an entirely different continent

“We’re still cool, right?”

Erin grinned and gave him a thumbs up. Then she winced in regret. She’d used her bad hand.

“Ooh, nasty. What happened there?”

“What, this? It’s nothing, it—”

Klbkch stood up suddenly. Erin flinched, but he raised two of his spindly arms.

“Please, I mean no harm. But your hand. May I see it?”

Erin hesitated. Then she slowly extended her hand. On the outside her bandage was grey and red with congealed blood. Some dripped to the floor.

He, if it was a he, inspected her hand carefully. Then he looked up.

“Again, apologies. But could I trouble you to remove the bandage?”

Erin hesitated. But then she slowly unwrapped her hand. And flinched. The pain that had been slumbering in her hand suddenly flared, and something dripped to the floor.

It was yellowish white pus. It dripped from her wound. And the wound itself was different. Instead of the thin red line it had changed. Parts of the injury were darker red and—Erin looked away.

Relc hissed softly. However, Klbkch made no sound. He inspected her wound for a few seconds, his antennae moving slowly and then looked at her.

“Yeah. Um, yeah.”

Erin tried to breathe. Her hand was suddenly burning.

“It—sorry, it’s a mess. I cut my hand and I guessed it just got infected, but—”

“It is not an infection.”

“What?”

“It is poison. Of a sort.”

“You sure? It doesn’t feel like—”

“There is a fish in the rivers near here. It secretes a mucus that damages the area it touches. Such as in this case. I have seen several similar afflictions as a guardsman.”

“You have? I mean, it’s not an infection?”

good to know she isnt plague infested, but it seems those fish were worse that i thought!

“Please, do not be alarmed. This is treatable. Allow me.”

He reached down. Erin looked and saw him pull something out of a belt pouch at his waist. She blinked as he held up a bottle full of a shimmering, emerald-green liquid.

“This is a low-grade healing potion. If you pour it over your injury it should heal your affliction.”

Gently, Klbkch uncorked the bottle and held it out to Erin. She accepted it gingerly, but hesitated.

“This is—I mean, is it safe? For humans?”

Klbkch and Relc both nodded. Relc was eying his partner but the ant man was intent.

“Please, believe me. It will heal you.”

Erin stared into his eyes. They were compound eyes, large ones. Brown and fractal. Like and ant’s. And they were creepy as hell, but Erin decided she could still trust them.

She gripped the potion tightly in her left hand and poured it slowly over the open wound on her right hand. She gasped in shock.

“Are you alright?”

“It—it doesn’t hurt!”

Relc snorted gently. It sounded like a leaf blower starting up.

“Of course not. Why wound anyone make a healing potion that hurts when you use it? But look at that!”

He pointed. Erin’s eyes went down to the cut in her hand. It was closing up with amazing speed. The flesh was joining together and in an instant, the entire cut vanished. She gaped.

yay healing potions! a staple of fantasy, but still good to know they can heal this sort of injury

Klbkch plucked the half-empty bottle from her hands before she dropped it. She was too busy poking at her hand to realize, but when he’d stoppered the bottle she turned and gave him a huge hug.

“Thank you—ow!”

“Apologies. It is unwise to hug those with exoskeletons. Please, are you hurt?”

i agree, dont hug those with hard outer shells

“I will accept gladly. But for now I am full, and I believe it is time to be going. We would not wish to intrude upon your hospitality for too long.”

Relc paused as he gulped down more blue fruit juice.

“We wouldn’t?”

“We are still on duty, if you recall. The Captain will be expecting a report. If we do return, we will have more time to socialize.”

“Or, and hear me out. Or…we could have more food and stay here longer.”

“I am sure you would prefer that. But we are being paid to work, not to enjoy ourselves. Moreover you are eating all of this Human’s dinner.”

Relc glanced at the table. He stood up immediately.

“Right. Well, let’s be going. Um, sorry about that Miss. Here, let me just pay for the food…”

Erin tried to protest but a scaly hand prized hers open gently and deposited several copper coins and two silver ones into her palm.

“I insist. That blue drink is really good by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, we’ll be off then. Good night to you.”

The two left the inn. Erin watched them go. She went to go sit down and sat on the floor. And stayed still for another hour.

probably a good way to calm down after that

Relc and Klbkch left the inn. They began walking through the grass under the night sky. It was cool, but both moved quickly. Each one scanned the landscape as they walked and kept their hands on the spear and sword at their sides. They weren’t nervous; just wary.

After a while Relc spoke.

“What a lonely girl.”

“Is it female? I couldn’t tell.”

“I can. It’s the mammary glands.”

“Breasts, I think they’re referred to. Or maybe the word is tits.”

“Really? I thought those were birds.”

“That’s what I heard some small Humans saying once. But she’s female. And young, correct?”

“Yeah, I’d bet on it. I’m not sure why a Human would be out here anyways, let alone in that place.”

oo we get some of the guards thoughts! this should be interesting

“Inquiring into other’s personal affairs is only a matter for the Guards while we’re on duty. Respecting another’s personal space is a principle of social interaction.”

“Shut up. She just seems lonely, that’s all. Why else would a Human female want to hang out with a Drake and an overgrown bug?”

Klbkch was silent for a while.

“Do you believe she is a lawbreaker or fearful for her life?”

“Even if she was, who’d hide there? You’d have to be mad, or maybe a mage or priest to risk that.”

“True. But at least we are certain it’s safe now. She would be dead within the day if it were still deadly.”

“Bet she didn’t know. And her expression when we walked in—she’s never seen a Drake or an Insect before in her life.”

“I would prefer that you call my species by their proper name.”

“What do you think? I bet she’s some kind of runaway, or a child that got lost separated from her clan.”

“…”

“Fine. Antinium. Happy?”

quick retcon here, priests are gone for a reason we shall see later, so she cant be a priest. this sort of error is fixed in the $5 version on amazon

“Her being a runaway would be most likely. I find it hard to believe any Human would wander so far into the grasslands by accident and she did not seem to be looking for directions.”

“Bastard.”

“You are correct in at least one definition of the word. But speculation is pointless in any case. We investigated the smoke and now we can make our report. She is not breaking the law in any case since the inn was abandoned nearly three years ago.”

“What about the Dragon? Do you think she made that up?”

“She was not lying, at least not intentionally. However…”

“Yeah. A Dragon? Really?”

“It seems more likely that she was hallucinating. Perhaps she ran into a fire breathing Wyvern, or lesser monster. But I doubt she would have survived meeting a true Dragon.”

“Plus, we’d know if a Dragon lived around here. They’re pretty obvious.”

“Indeed.”

“So…scared Human female? Not a threat?”

“That was my assessment.”

“Right, right. Let’s tell the Captain and get some sleep. Or rather, I’ll sleep and you do your creepy standing hibernation thing.”

“Agreed. And it is very restful. You should attempt it sometime.”

“Pass.”

yes i dont think a single human female is a threat

The two walked in silence for quite some time. The road back to the city was long, and in any case they were still alert for potential dangers that might be sneaking up on them. Not that either had much to fear from most predators so long as they kept their eyes and earholes open, but you never knew.

After a long time Klbkch broke the silence.

“So, shall we return tomorrow?”

“Oh, definitely. Right after work?”

“We may be able to fit checking in there as part of our duties if we convince the Captain it is necessary.”

Relc slapped Klbkch on the back of his exoskeleton. “Now you’re thinking like a Drake.”

“I will endeavor not to in the future.”

“Go roast yourself.”

They walked on for another few minutes until Relc broke the silence again.

“So, a lesser healing potion of no worth, huh?”

“Would you have had me tell her the true value?”

“No, no. It’s for the best. Mind you, I think she figured it out.”

“…Perhaps.”

“How are you going to explain that to the Captain, huh?”

“I will deduct the cost from my pay. Besides which, it was used to protect a civilian.”

“You’re a regular saint, huh? Trying to level up your [Saint] class?”

“You know fully well that I have no levels in any class of the kind. I was merely being kind.”

ooo i see the antinium (funny story actually, i was spelling it as antininum for months till i read the word on its own once and realized my mistake) used a pretty expensive potion

The two walked on in silence. Eventually Relc spoke again.

“It’s not that I’m not interested. I have an open mind! I wouldn’t mind looking. If I was offered. They’ve got nothing on good scales, but I could get over the fleshiness. Maybe.”

“Deviant.”

“Shut up.”

“She was quite nice in any case. It was pleasant talking to her.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m glad we didn’t have to kill her.”

“Indeed.”

yes, lets not kill the protagonist in the 8th chapter. this isnt game of thrones

Erin sat against one wall. She was falling asleep. She wanted to run around screaming about lizardmen—Drakes, walking ants, and a crazy world but that was passé. Besides, she’d already done that for a few hours anyway.

Her mind was swimming. Her eyes were drooping. Erin was about to fall asleep. But her hand didn’t hurt. So she was smiling.

At last her mind finally blanked. Erin’s breathing deepened, her eyes closed. She slept.

[Innkeeper Level 5!]

[Skill – Basic Crafting obtained!]

“…Just let me sleep.”

as the drake said, thats annoying, but it seems her first time doing the job of an innkeeper got her a level! and a skill, i wonder what [basic crafting] applies to?

either way, thats the end of the chapter! will erin be able to trust these people? will erin ever go to the settlment? will these people be ordered to kill her? we shall find out next time!

see you tomorrow!

#chrono

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get-a-new-lease-on-life · 6 years

Text

OC development - Excerpts from the “New Lease on Life” series

develop-your-oc:

Which OC is just… really, really weird?

Hmmm…that’s a toughie because a LOT of my OCs are pretty freaking weird. Sonja threatens to fork people if she thinks they’re getting mushy. Maggie insists on ‘naming’ her Elemental techniques like she’s in some crappy anime. Dakota runs a one-woman pyrotechnics show, frequently blows herself up with fireworks, and always ends up with no eyebrows…

Then again…

“That’s it,” Leo scolded the two arguing idiots. “Do you two even know why you’re fighting anymore?!” Donatello stared blankly at his brother and Amber blushed darkly.

'It’s either fight'im or fuck'im,’ Amber thought sarcastically. 'If I stop pushin'im away, I’ll wind up molestin'im!’ Donnie’s nostrils flared, finally picking the familiar non-scent emanating from the brunette avoiding his eyes. Pheromones?! His eyes wide in disbelief, he slowly turned to stare at her. Was she seriously turned on by their fighting?! The very idea was preposterous, but it would certainly explain some things!

Bearing a tray of dishes, two empty mugs, and a full carafe of coffee, Donnie crept through the door of his bedroom backward and closed the door as quietly as possible without setting anything down. He let out a sigh of relief at the accomplishment and turned to set the tray on the nightstand. He didn’t expect to see Amber sitting up in bed watching him with bleary eyes. A yelp of surprise ripped from his lungs and he rattled his cargo. “Uh…morning?” he greeted sheepishly. Amber’s initial attempt at a reply was cut off in a loud yawn she just barely managed to aim into her cleavage.

“E'ry man 'oo goes'out wi'g'mornin’ on'is lips,” she grumbled tiredly, “sh'be fried wi'is own bacon an’ buried wi'a stalk'a cel'ry through'is heart.” It took a minute for his befuddled expression to register; funny, it made sense in her head. “Mornin’.”

“Sleep well?” he asked with a smirk; while she blinked and tried to goose her mental hamster into doing its job, he unloaded everything onto the nightstand and set about filling the mugs. “Brought breakfast…and coffee.” If she’d had the energy, she would have perked up at the last word; unfortunately, she barely had the energy to keep her eyelids aloft much less recognize the bacon, eggs, and cinnamon rolls piled on the two plates.

“Brek…fus?” she asked as though she couldn’t recall what the word meant. Donatello was laughing at her, she was sure, but she didn’t have the energy to do more than blink at him; maybe after a cup of coffee…or two…or twelve…

The small desk lamp kicked on behind the changing screen and Donnie realized his error. Though he intended only to help his lover avoid injury in the dark corner, he didn’t take into account the effect of light and shadow on canvas; right before his eyes, Amber’s silhouette was cast onto the lit canvas screens with striking clarity. His cheeks scalding hot, he found himself unable to turn away.

Without realizing she was putting on a show for him, Amber wrenched open the clasp of her brassiere and let the garment fall away with a barely suppressed groan. “God, that feels better,” she mumbled aloud tempted to fling the hated contraption across the room slingshot style. She took a moment to enjoy her newfound freedom—unaware that Donatello could see her awkwardly rubbing the feeling back into one sore breast after the other, and the unavoidable response her body had to said massaging—then begrudgingly reached for the zipper of her jean shorts. Donnie choked and tore his eyes away, forcing him to focus on the blueprints scattered across his small desk. 'Don’t think about the breasts,’ he reminded himself almost frantically. 'Just ignore them - nothing there to see - and definitely no nip-NO, bad Donnie! Don’t think about the breasts!’

When Amber finally emerged from the little cubicle, clad in her oversized Knicks jersey and a pair of modest cotton sleep shorts, she found him blushing up a storm and unable to look at her. “What’s your problem?” she asked dryly, one under-groomed eyebrow arching to the heavens.

“Apparently,” he finally admitted, “I need to rethink the screens for the changing corner…canvas just doesn’t cut it.” Amber stood there staring at him for a moment, puzzling through his reply, then with a start, turned back to the cubicle. Sure enough, the outline of the desk lamp on the floor was cast on the screens. The way she saw it, she could get embarrassed—turn just as red as the genius was turning and start babbling in humiliation—or she could make things awkward. Amber being Amber, and Amber being shameless, it was obvious which she’d pick.

“Hey, bras hurt. You try wearin’ one'a those things all forkin’ day.”

After Amber’s unexpected stint in the Hashi, Donnie should have guessed he’d find her in the barracks. Standing in the open doorway of her small vacated room, he shook his head at the sight of her slumped face-down across the narrow bunk—clearly favoring sore buttocks and a stiff back. “It ain’t funny,” she grumbled into the musty mattress; huh, so that chuckle wasn’t just in his head. “My everything hurts.”

“You expected otherwise?” Donnie retorted too-innocently. “How’d it go?”

“I am never pissing that rat off again,” Amber swore vehemently, her cheeks blazing against the sheets. “He said I needed to work on my balance…then made me 'bout puke every time I got the hang of it…an’ added time when I fell…an’ I fell a lot. I can’t feel my arse.”

“You will tomorrow,” Donnie pointed out simply, strolling over to perch on the edge of the bed. Amber held her tongue, feeling completely ridiculous and sure she just made a fool of herself. A sudden—admittedly gentle—pat on the rear shot that belief to hell and sent spasms of pain wracking through her backside. “GAH, scunner!” she shrieked rolling away and clutching her hands protectively over her behind. “The fark, Dunnie?!”

“Guess you can feel it after all, huh?” he remarked without even the slightest visible sign of mischief; if she hadn’t seen his playful side many times before now, Amber might’ve been fooled.

“Well, NOW I can!” He was laughing at her—openly laughing at her!—and still, she couldn’t be mad at him.

“I just can’t help feeling something horrible’s 'bout to happen, Dee,” Amber admitted. “I mean, think about it—We’ve been dodgin’ the bullet this long, things jus’ kept getting’ worse, an’ now we fin'ly have a break—a chance to breathe! Hell,” she swore, her nose crinkled in annoyance, “if I was writing this story, this’d be when I’d randomly gank some poor sucker to force the characters’ hands!”

Sometimes she really worried him…

Clever hands roamed Amber’s clothed curves—Donnie was just getting in a few gropes while he could, Amber was sure, nothin’ wrong with that. Dextrous fingers made short work of her button-up shirt—men like boobs—then the clasp of her admittedly plain bra—it was an eyesore, and again, boobs. He nervously kept his eyes away from her naked bust, swallowing noisily—he’s tryin’ to be a gentleman, but boobs! The running internal commentary made her feel like a horny teenager sneaking off with her mum’s dirty novels.

Normally, someone requesting a large pizza delivery to a dark alley would be a red flag for any delivery driver, much less one on a particularly dorky grey scooter. Fortunately, this wasn’t just any delivery driver, and the customer was a regular. Full helmet still in place, she examined her nails as though bored with life in general.

A faint scraping noise changed everything. “Yer late, Mister Angelo,” the driver drawled into the darkness. Sure enough, Mikey hopped down from the fire escape and swaggered over to her—that was her cue. With all the seriousness of a fashion model, she leaned back on her scooter in a generic 'sexy on a motorcycle’ pose, swept her helmet off, and threw her head back to send her hair flying…only to squawk in pain. Her audience cackled with laughter as she fought to free one of her two grey-streaked braids from the helmet’s straps. Only when it became clear she was truly stuck did he lend a hand.

“Jeez, Sis,” he teased as Amber grumbled into her covered cleavage. “On a scale of meh to holy frijoles, I’d give that an eek!”

“Ya know,” Amber remarked leaning into Donnie’s embrace and swaying in time to the Ray Charles number playing, “where I’m from, folks call this sorta music 'baby-makers.” Donnie flinched, his eyes shooting open wide and locking with hers set off by a deep blush. She really shouldn’t have so much fun teasing him. “Ya know what they say about a man who plays crooner jazz durin’ work hours?”

“…uh…?"

- Critical error – illegal operation - reboot necessary. Send report to admin? -

Seeing the panic in his eyes, Amber went in for the kill with a waggled eyebrow. "Either he’s bangin’ the secretary or he’s hidin’ somethin’.”

“So you don’t wanna leave Mercy,” Amber repeated sharply, “but you’re not willin’ to fix things unless she apologizes first? Never mind that she may not even know what she did wrong?” Raph winced; when she put it like that, it sounded ridiculous. “In that case, ya got a third choice.” She tossed back the rest of her bourbon, then snapped, “Strap on a wah-bag, whine it out, an’ get over it—if ya really care about someone, ya don’t dump 'em over a pissin’ contest.”

Raph gaped at the woman sitting across from him—stunned by her unexpectedly harsh response. When he finally found his tongue, all he could manage was, “A WHAT bag?”

“When a horse’s hungry,” she explained tersely as she topped off his tumbler, “ya strap on the feedbag so it can eat. When a grown-ass man’s pouting like a toddler, you strap on his wah-bag so he can get the whinin’ out of his system.” Suddenly realizing something, she winced and turned beet red. “That wasn’t meant to sound sexual—just ignore the strap-on part.” Raph choked. “Note to self,” she added with a suspicious stare into the bottom of her glass, “bourbon’s bad for my filter.” '…and I need'a get laid before I start really embarrassin’ myself.’

Amber was back from her first tattoo removal appointment…and clearly just shy of drunk and leaning on Mercy for support. The blonde led her inebriated friend to her and Donnie’s bedroom, kicked the door open, and they disappeared inside. Gaping, Donnie followed, listening in on the hushed conversation.

“Nez-time,” Amber slurred as Mercy eased her down onto the bed, “I’m'a stay sober fer-it—tha’ wiz crap…”

“No one said it’d be easy,” Mercy reminded bluntly dragging the trashcan over by the bed for easy access. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen ya drunk—this’s hilarious.”

“’m no’ drunk,” Amber argued sourly. “’m fuggin’ blootert!” Without further ado, the wasted brunette passed out completely.

“I’m'a just pretend I know whatcha said,” the blonde grumbled at her unhearing friend.

The verdict? I wholeheartedly believe AMBER JEAN O'BRIEN is officially the weirdest, or at least the most awkward, character to come out of my head yet.

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