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callsign-bunnie · 1 year

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No, no, I need AlejxRudy's side of the stalker ghost AU, plsssssssss

Oh hell yeah, I can deliver!

Rodolfo was seriously fucked up. He knew that. Anger issues, ptsd, psychotic tendencies. Psychopath was a word frequently thrown around but... he wasn't a psychopath.

He was traumatized.

When Rodolfo was 10 years old, he'd been kidnapped and kept in a creep's basement. He did... horrific things to him. He remembered the cop who rescued him at 18 years old just looked at him in horror and she asked "how are you still alive?"

Rodolfo hadn't had an answer. He hadn't even had that strong of a will to live. But, he'd picked up an anger.

Alejandro knew about it. Of course he did. He'd been friends with Rodolfo before and was there when Rodolfo got out. Rodolfo had become so quickly attached to him. And he'd fallen in love even quicker.

But, Alejandro wasn't in love with Rodolfo. Rodolfo used to think he could handle it but it was harder and harder.

The psychiatrist had commented on how well Rodolfo seemed to be coping. All points considered. It was all a lie. Rodolfo was not coping. He would hurt himself just to remind himself he was alive.

Alejandro kept the fear at bay. When he wasn't around Alejandro, he would get more and more afraid. Terrified the creep would come back. But... he knew he wouldn't. He was dead.

Rodolfo had killed him.

But, without Alejandro, the fear was still there. Maybe this made him obsessive. Maybe he'd gone crazy over Alejandro. But, Rodolfo didn't think it was that bad.

Rodolfo looked in the mirror and tried to make sure he looked decent. He was wearing an outfit that Alejandro had said he liked before. A grey sweater with black jeans. The sweater had a button up under it and he actually looked well put together. He planned to tell him, that day.

Everything had to be perfect. If he didn't do everything perfectly, Alejandro would say no.

Rodolfo took a deep breath and then made sure the emotion in his smile showed. He felt emotion. He felt a lot of emotion. But, he'd been punished, before, for showing it. He'd had to be deadfaced during everything done to him or it would be worse.

So, the ability to show it naturally had just gone away. He now had to put effort into showing it. He'd gotten called uncanny so many times for it, though. He'd taken an acting class, just to do it better.

Rodolfo was sick and tired of being called psychotic and emotionless and uncanny and deadeyed and crazy and psycho and lovesick and freakish and a psychopath. He'd heard it fucking all and none of it fit.

He could feel. He could feel so much he couldn't breathe sometimes. He could feel happiness, he could feel sadness, he could feel love, he could feel anger, he could feel a lot of anger. He could feel everything.

It wasn't his fault that he couldn't naturally make his face do the things that everyone else's could.

Rodolfo let out a breath. Whatever. None of that mattered right now. He was going to finally tell Alejandro how he felt. His heart was racing with nerves.

He could do this.

Fuck, he couldn't do this.

Rodolfo covered his face, letting himself shake a little. It all had to be perfect or Alejandro would say no. But, he'd done everything perfectly. He was wearing an outfit Alejandro liked, he was wearing a cologne Alejandro liked, and he had perfectly arranged everything.

He would go to Alejandro's apartment and he'd just tell him everything.

Rodolfo took a deep breath and finally went out.

Rodolfo approached the door, making sure to remember how he was supposed to smile. Alejandro had seen the dead face, and he'd... not reacted well. So, he had to remember to put the light back in his eyes.

Rodolfo shook his hands a few times, anxious. Did he use the right shampoo?? Oh god, no, he'd switched, lately. What if Alejandro hated it?? He'd say no. He was definitely going to say no.

Rodolfo went to walk away before frowning, realizing the door was slightly open. Odd. Alejandro was usually safe about his security. Rodolfo pushed the door more open and stepped inside, looking around.

There was noise coming from the bedroom. It sounded like struggling. Rodolfo quickly went to where he knew Alejandro's knife block was, getting out the big one, and carefully crept to the bedroom.

He hoped Alejandro was okay. He peeked through the doorway and his heart sank. Alejandro was on top of someone. It was pretty obvious what they were doing, from the way his hips were moving.

Rodolfo could feel the light die. He felt like he was going to pass out. He covered his mouth, feeling a sob erupt out of it. He jerked back when he saw Alejandro immediately whip to look at the doorway.

Rodolfo quickly went to the kitchen, unable to stop the tears. Even still, he could feel his face was completely rested. He looked at himself in the reflection of the knife and it was such an odd sight. Tears flowing down an empty face.

Alejandro came out of the bedroom, seeming almost shocked. "Rodolfo??"

"Your- your door was open and I-" Rodolfo stopped as he saw someone follow Alejandro. They were the same height as Rodolfo. Same build. They could have been siblings.

Alejandro frowned. "It was?"

Rodolfo nodded a little and looked at the knife again. He felt so odd. Tears were still streaming down his face but he wiped them away, watching his reflection in the knife.

"Who is this, Ale?"

Rodolfo slowly dragged his eyes from the knife to the other person's face, scanning over it. Curiosity played on their features. Confusion. Surprise. It was so easy for them.

"This is Rudy, my friend." Not even best friend. No, he was just the friend. "Rodolfo, this is Aidan..."

Rodolfo took in a shaky breath, wiping his eyes again. He didn't bother to fake an expression. "Nice to meet you." His voice was dead, empty.

Aidan seemed taken back but nodded. "It's nice to meet you, too." He gave a tentative smile and Rodolfo watched him hide slightly behind Alejandro.

Alejandro's hand moved to Aidan's wrist and Rodolfo. just. snapped.

How fucking dare he?! Rodolfo could feel himself trembling again as he gripped the knife tighter.

He came to, to blood. So much blood. It was everywhere. All over him and the floor and Alejandro, who was horrified. Aidan was already dead, just staring at him with an empty expression.

Rodolfo covered his face and started to sob. He dug his nails into his skin and hunched over, sobbing so hard he really couldn't breathe.

He jerked and looked at Alejandro, seeing movement. Alejandro had started to take off, but Rodolfo didn't even think about it. He just lunged forward, grabbing Alejandro's leg and yanking him down.

Alejandro yelled in surprise and Rodolfo immediately climbed over him, straddling him. "How fucking could you?!" He screamed at him. "I've given you all I have left! How could you?!"

Alejandro looked up at him. His eyes were filled with pure terror and it only pissed Rodolfo off more. "Rodolfo, let me go-"

"I gave you every piece of me! I gave you my heart and my soul and I would have given you my body if you asked! I gave you so much and you just- why couldn't you love me?!" Rodolfo sobbed, covering his face.

"Rudy-"

"Don't call me that! You don't deserve to, anymore!" Rodolfo took ragged breaths and then he was strangling Alejandro. He didn't want to kill him, though.

Alejandro struggled against his hands. It should have been so easy for Alejandro to knock Rodolfo off but he couldn't. Rodolfo strangled him until he passed out and then he panted.

He'd made such a mess.

He needed to clean it up.

Rodolfo needed to make sure Alejandro couldn't leave first. Alejandro was kind of naked so he very very reluctantly stuck boxers on him. That was deeply uncomfortable but he'd done it.

Then, he'd tied him up. Cleaning up the blood had been shockingly easy. Rodolfo knew how to do it, already, so he'd just done it. Peroxide for the carpet, bleach for the tile.

Alejandro woke up while Rodolfo was in the shower, but he'd had the good sense to just stay still, watching him move.

Rodolfo had Alejandro's clothes on. It was a fantastic feeling. He went over to him and crouched down. "You're awake."

"What... what is wrong with you?" Alejandro cringed away from him.

Rodolfo frowned. He could feel the rage swelling up inside him. Alejandro thought he was a psycho, too. He took deep breaths and reached for the knife near by. He needed to get rid of him.

Alejandro didn't love him, anyway. Get rid of the heart ache by cutting it out.

Alejandro's eyes widened when he saw Rodolfo grasp his hand around the knife and he winced. "Rudy, Rudy, please..." He pleaded and he shifted around, touching Rodolfo's face with his hands.

Rodolfo knew what he was trying to do. What a fucking cliché. Rodolfo wanted to prove it wouldn't work. Alejandro didn't love him. He knew that.

Alejandro couldn't fool him by touching him and playing pretend. Rodolfo faked a smile and touched Alejandro's wrist, pulling it down. "Don't fucking play act like you love me." Rodolfo's smile dropped. "I know you don't."

"Rudy, I do- Rodolfo, please..." Alejandro pleaded and shook his head. "I'm sorry. What I did was stupid."

Rodolfo watched him beg for his life and considered. He needed to wait until it was night time to take Alejandro out to his car. He looked out the window.

Fingers touched his thigh, he'd not been able to find any pants of Alejandro's that had fit, and Rodolfo immediately jerked away, looking at Alejandro in alarm. Rage boiled inside him again and he pressed the knife to Alejandro's neck. "Don't fucking touch me like that."

Alejandro's breath stuttered and he looked at him. "I'm sorry, I'm only trying to prove that I love you."

"That is not love." Rodolfo looked away. "Not... not when it's done to me." He pulled the knife away and backed up. He went and pulled his still bloodstained jeans on and then grabbed a tie, coming back and using it to gag Alejandro.

Alejandro's eyes followed him and Rodolfo wasn't sure he liked it. "Stop it." He mumbled, looking away. He felt vulnerable.

Alejandro still continued to watch him and Rodolfo clawed at his skin. "Stop!" He yelled, pointing the knife at him.

Alejandro finally looked away and Rodolfo relaxed, taking a deep breath. "We're going to my apartment."

Alejandro cringed but nodded.

Rodolfo sat, cross legged, on the bed, watching Alejandro. "Rudy, what are you going to do? Keep me here forever?"

Rodolfo shrugged. He'd given up on making expressions around Alejandro. "No. I..." He took a deep breath. "In a month. I'm going to let you go and kill myself."

Alejandro's eyes widened. "What??"

Rodolfo shrugged again, not too bothered. "You're never going to love me. I know that. But... I want at least a month of play pretend. Then, I'm going to end it."

Alejandro looked almost desperate as he tried to climb to his knees, having to crane his arm at an odd angle. "No, no, Rodolfo- no. Don't kill yourself." He touched Rodolfo's face with his free hand and Rodolfo stared up at him, surprised. "Please, please, Rudy. I... I do love you, I do. I'll prove it to you in any way I can, just please don't kill yourself."

Rodolfo watched him. "You're lying again." He jerked away. "You don't love me. You don't care if I die." He stood and got off the bed.

"No! No, I do love you!" Alejandro tried to reach for him but Rodolfo stayed out of reach. "Rudy, please..." Rodolfo had to be imagining the tears in Alejandro's eyes.

God, they both were so good at pretending, weren't they?

Rodolfo clenched his hands into fists before looking away. "Drop the fucking act, Alejandro."

"It's not an act!" Alejandro shook his head. He sounded so desperate. "Rudy, please... just... come here, please. Please."

Rodolfo hesitated. He couldn't really deny Alejandro. Not when he was begging him like that. He moved closer to him and Alejandro relaxed, immediately. He wrapped his free around around Rodolfo and buried his face in his chest. "Please... please don't kill yourself..."

Rodolfo tensed at first before melting. Oh, Alejandro was so good at pretending. He was almost convincing. Would have convinced anyone else. Not Rudy.

Rodolfo knew the truth.

But, he hugged around Alejandro, a little impressed at the expert way Alejandro just yanked him onto the bed, his arm staying around him as they settled into a laying position.

Rodolfo curled up tightly into Alejandro.

Almost convincing.

#Alejandro Vargas #Rodolfo Parra #Alejandro x Rodolfo #Aledolfo #Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II #Call Of Duty #stalker ghost #psychotic rodolfo #murder

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brockachu · 2 years

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so i haven't been watching pre- or post-game comments from the team (i haven't really been keeping up with official team media that isn't directly on ig or twitter tbh), but out of curiosity i went looking through post-games & ended up just focusing in on conor garland's post-game press availability. and grading on the curve that is stone-faced to deer-in-headlights bland hockey talkers, garly is an interesting speaker. he's also a popular choice by the press, because he's done pre- and post- comments a lot this season. (of the couple weeks of video i went back to watch he was in about a third of all videos)

he opens almost all of the videos by fiddling with the microphone(s) (canucks media room only has one mic, but the away has whatever set-up the traveling writers can manage in presumably whatever side-room the home team gives them). he literally sits there and taps them all, or repositions them, turning the angle of the mic or posing the neck if it's one of those bendable types. he's like fully tactile with them, which is only noticeable bc most players have their hands tucked under the table like they're sitting on their hands

once he's done with the mics, if the first question is still going, he takes as big of a gulp of his drink as he can before he has to answer. and he always has 2 bottles with him, one water & one usually protein shake but a couple times it's looked like gatorade. and by the end of comments he's usually visibly finished at least one whole drink on camera. most players i've watched will maybe take small sips between questions or start with one big drink and then wait until comments are over to keep hydrating. but garly is just like 'this is my hydration schedule and the media has to work around that'

he pulls so many faces. like, his eyebrows or mouth are always moving, and not bc of speaking but bc he's just doing things with his face. i cannot explain this well.(as someone who anxiously bites my inner cheeks & also grinds my back teeth a lot, it reminds me of that). it's like you can see him physically working through ruminating and i'm honestly charmed by it.

he puts his whole body into listening & he fiddles with things in a way that honestly remind me of how i fidget to focus. he'll do this thing where he'll curl his head real close to the edge of the table so that his ear and the side of his head are tipped vertically, which is a pose i often take on the phone so that i make sure i am fully paying attention to what i'm being told. he'll also turn his head so that one ear is focused to the source of sound while simultaneously fiddling with his collar or his hair or even literally poking his own face, again reminds me of how i have to physically prepare myself to listen. i just find it very endearing and interesting, again mostly bc your average nhler sits ramrod deadfaced sentinel-like

he says y'know more than i think i have ever heard a person say it. in brock's rookie year, a canucks blog made a video teasing him for saying 'y'know' 45-ish times in one interview. but i'm pretty sure garly has him beat if we break it down to average per minute. again, super charming to me.

he's a blunt speaker but also optimistic in general, not in a head-in-the-sand way nor in a 'i'm playing nice for the media' way. he regularly admits when things suck but he also seems to genuinely believe that the team has potential and talent which is personally very heartwarming and reassuring

anyway, i doubt many of y'all are here for my loosely in-depth breakdown of conor garland's media availability behaviors, but you're getting if anyway. (also i'm certain some of you actually would find this interesting, bc somehow i have found some of you who share my niche fascinations)

#what is a canucks season without me choosing a new person to latch onto and imprint on?#anyone who's been here pre-covid will remember my crusade to make everyone love toff and pear. and my immediate adoration of jt #of course i'm also head of brock boeser defense squad at least in my own mind #i usually end up digging for weird facts or charming lil quirks about my new favs. it'll happen #i hope we get to keep garland for a nice lil while. i hope he likes it here and wants to stay. i find him quite endearing. obviously #ftr not psychoanalyzing him but i Do have adhd & an anxiety and panic disorder which is where my behaviors stem from #which is part of why i'm keenly attuned to noticing these things and find it interesting when they're so visible in contrast to others #aily talks #canucks lb #conor garland #can't sleep sharing weird observations about this season's pet fav

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kaibutsushidousha · 5 years

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What are your thoughts on Hakuno Kishinami? And you do prefer the make version or the female version? P.S. I love your blog💖

I prefer the female Hakuno (the canon Hakuno, thank you Last Encore). Anyways, I like Hakuno a lot, specially after CCC. My second favorite Type-Moon protagonist after Shirou.

Notes: This post will not contain Extella series content because I barely remember anything from Extella and never played Link. I also won’t contain any Last Encore content because Deadface is an entirely different character and I already talked about him.

Hakuno is, on many levels, not what I expected. After we’re treated to the death of the other protagonist in the prologue, we’re introduced to Hakuno as the character we choose the gender and name for. That combined with their extremely bland (although very cute/handsome) design gave me the impression of a blank slate self-insert protagonist, which is something I already commented a few times to be something I detest. When your character’s default name is an anagram for “your name is blank”(kimi no na hakushi), that’s not a good way to start. Well, Hakuno had their own dialogue/inner monologue, at least it couldn’t be as bad as Fujimaru.

Hakuno is introduced as an amnesiac Master with no noticeable talents, no ties to any other character or any wish they knew of. They decide to fight just out of the possibility that they would discover their identity along the way. Nothing interesting was done with them until the first week ends on the reveal that the loser of the Grail War die for real. It was a really trivial and obvious twist but for Hakuno’s character this changes everything.

Week 2 is where Hakuno really starts to shine as a character. Hakuno is very afraid of death but they are also (initially) just as afraid of killing. Partially because they are too good natured to casually murder someone (at first), but moreso because their lack of memories cause them to fear the possibility that the goal they forgot is not really worth taking someone’s life for it. Luckily for them, their opponent here is Sir Dan Blackmore, an old man with an already fully realized and not much else to look forward to, and most importantly a fellow kind man with experience in having to take other people’s lives. In that harsh situation, Dan advises Hakuno to try to find purpose in every battle they fight and every sacrifice they make. This is advice is pretty much the cornerstone that built Hakuno’s character.

Week 3 is another “easier” case because Alice is a cyberghost, so she wouldn’t be alive even if she won the Grail War, but Week 4 is huge to Hakuno’s for two very game-changing reasons. First is that, regardless of your choice, Hakuno’s opponent would be the first time they would knowingly kill a young living person with a long and possibly bright future ahead of them. The other big thing is the discovery that Hakuno is just a NPC that joined the War by an error.

The latter is really major because it changed everything about how Hakuno saw their situation. They could go on up until now because they believed they would remember they had a purpose that would make all the blood in their hands meaningful, but now they know that they got nothing and they were nothing. No memories and no objective. Every life they took were, by their own admission, much more valuable than their own and they needed to take even more of those to survive. Ironically enough, this very blood in their hands was one what gave them the will to keep going. Hakuno is very afraid of death, but they are even more afraid of a meaningless death, and dying without ever accomplishing anything would be giving meaningless deaths to their victims. Well, that and their experiences with their Servant giving some substance to their short life.

By the second half of /EXTRA, Hakuno’s character is already fully established and doesn’t really changes much throughout the rest of the game. Their feelings about their identity are organized and their hesitation is gone. They are terrifyingly determined to survive, to the point they can now fight and kill without questioning the morality and the consequences of their actions. But of course, that doesn’t make them blind either. There’s always full acknowledgement despite the lack of hesitation. Due to Hakuno’s lack of connection to the world, they care for the small connections they built throughout the game a lot more than they care about the full-on world war that’s defining Rin and Leo’s grand motivations. Everything Hakuno does is entirely about Hakuno and what Hakuno likes.

Hakuno summoned their Servant without a catalyst, meaning they were summoning out of compatibility, and what they got from this was either a tyrant who could only think of what she loved, a Counter Guardian who was able learn to kill without hesitation out of need, or an outright monster who sees human life in a very different way than humans do. They are all anti-heroes and that’s not without reason. Hakuno is very good natured and sympathetic, but can’t really be called a perfectly good person and doesn’t consider themself one either. In fact, Hakuno straight up calls themself evil at one point in CCC. They are a dangerous hero I could see and enjoy as a villain in some future story.

Hakuno was an amazingly enjoyable protagonist to follow and very easily one of the highest points of both /EXTRA and CCC. Not only for their compelling determination and fascinatingly questionable morality but also for their general personality too. From their bland design and blank slate nature, I expected them to have the “generic everyman” personality, especially considering Shirou and Shiki Toono also had the “generic everyman" personality underneath their trauma, but Hakuno turned out to be much more of a silly weirdo compared to them, bringing us narration gems like “Rin went from comatose to bitch in three seconds flat” or “This were I would love to call this goddess a giant hag, but I would rather not die immediately”. Easily the goofiest Type-Moon protagonist until Fujimaru decided skydrop for no reason to impress a goddess with a wrestling move.

That said, as amazing of a protagonist as Hakuno is, their character really doesn’t fit the story of Fate/EXTRA and I think the game’s biggest narrative problems trace back to Hakuno. Fate/EXTRA is a game very big on world building. There’s really a lot going on in the background with Rin, Leo and even Twice, but we never get a real close look to that world because we’re stuck in Hakuno’s perspective and Hakuno really doesn’t care about the big picture of the world they’re in. I don’t dislike that they live only for what they directly interacted with, but it really clashes with the backstory the game is trying to tell.

CCC doesn’t add much of anything new to Hakuno’s character but really makes the best of use of their established traits, reinforcing everything I liked about them while taking away what I disliked. The dungeon progression being about invanding other characters’ mental worlds does a great job in both exploring and showing the limits of Hakuno’s willingness to harm others for their goals. Their unstoppable drive to avoid a meaningless death gets full and amazing display in the interlude between chapter 4 and 5. Their silly nature is perfectly at home with the heavily comedic tone of the first half of the game. And most importantly, since CCC’s backstory is the OG /EXTRA game, we don’t have Hakuno ignoring the background in this one.

But the best trait CCC expands upon is their self-awareness, resulting into some points in the game, in their conversations with Sakura, where Hakuno presents a really well done character study on themself, tying up how they are just a nameless, pastless and futureless human who can’t fight for anything larger than themselves to how unstoppable they are. All Hakuno has is the present and their simple and real connections to the people they like, so all they can do is fighting for those people. And, fortunately for the world, their favorite type of person are the people who face any and all adversities to make others around them feel better.

I really like this establishing of Hakuno’s type, not only because it fits all 3 of the Extra Servants and Sakura (and Nightingale, but Nightingale’s role in CCC is a topic for another day), but because if really fits their story and good nature. Hakuno appreciates people capable of self-sacrifice because that’s something they don’t feel very able to do, especially in the OG Fate/EXTRA, and most of all, Hakuno appreciates kindness because that’s something their circumstances never allowed them to perform, except for the one time they saved Rin or Rani. This probably means a lot to Hakuno, since Hakuno is a very kind-hearted person who considers themself evil for doing the only thing they could to survive.

Ideally I would add an extra paragraph about Eliza’s character arc because that’s Hakuno at their best, but I couldn’t find any good place to fit and this part would be better off in an Eliza ask, so that’s pretty much all about Hakuno. For my tl;dr conclusion, I’ll go with a CCC quote that best demonstrates both Hakuno’s silly personality, self-awareness, and unstoppablenss all in one line: “Going back to search around the abandoned school or exploring the Labyrinth at this point would be insane. Luckily, I am not exactly sane.”

Thank you very much for the ask (and sorry for taking 5 months to respond, you asked my while I was still early in my CCC playthrough). I love this absolute mad(wo)man.

#fate extra #fate extra ccc #kishinami hakuno

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