#that's intentional and in imitation of the original lolol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clouds-of-wings · 1 year

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@mardigrasdeathpostage

This is a great opportunity to post something I photoshopped a few months back. I finished it, then stared at the screen and sighed, remembering the old times, when I shopped respectable things.

Here it is side by side with BA's original cover:

and on its own:

(All stock photos mine except for the writing.)

Anyway, maybe you can imagine the characters as antipasti. They're all Catholics and the part of the plot we're currently at takes place in Rome, so it kinda fits.

In DETAIL:

Johanna, the fiery and determined crusader, would be particularly spicy and crunchy I think, maybe peppers filled with some kind of cheese, as in the picture above. The peppers would not be grilled or treated in any other way that breaks down their molecular structure. Johanna has no problem with being challenging to chew. And if she brings tears to your eyes, well, tears can be cleansing, so this pain benefits you in the end. Her sidekicks Mare and Agnes are stuffed olives that have a little bit of the same spicy cheese.

Helena, Johanna's sister and the wife of her enemy Seth, would be a savoury vegetable that has been infused with rosemary and some type of honey, given that she's very pleasant and eager to please. She would not be too sweet, but strive to be perfect. She is served with mozzarella, an inoffensive and yet very tasty cheese.

Sophia, their mother, is a rare, unknown vegetable in a sophisticated and unique herb mixture that quite possible includes Silphion. Satan is a spicy hard cheese that unexpectedly harmonizes very well with her (as proven by the song Astral Sophia).

Apollonius is semi-divine, so naturally I imagine that he contains a lot of garlic. I would pick an eggplant fried in garlicy oil for him. Eating him sends you to heaven, but then you feel a little nauseated from the ungodly amount of fat eggplants tend to suck up when you fry them, even if you take care to dehydrate them with salt before and soak off some fat with paper towels after. Ecstatically pleasant, yet treacherous... but you keep coming back because there's nothing else like it. Feta cheese just magically manifests next to him.

As for the Antichrist himself, I invoke the famous tumblr post that states: "Do not be salty. Be marinated. Show that you've been swimming in a complex mixture of feelings for a long time." I also think he should be a tomato that has been dried by the unforgiving heat of the sun for a long, LONG time. Possibly because someone put him there and then forgot about him. So a marinated, and very salty, dried tomato. That's our troubled hero Seth.

#beloved antichrist #antipasti headcanons #symphonic metal #therion #music stuff #ah! i know the beloved antipasti thing looks like it has two suns btw #that's intentional and in imitation of the original lolol #just wanted to mention that for the sake of my photoshop pride

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