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starksimaginationcreations · 3 years

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I didn't know that it would be this hard,

In 8 years I put up a hell of a guard.

I Never knew my walls where built so High,

Because of That little girl, we never asked Why?

People didn't see how sad this momma was,

My soul walked around as if it were the cause.

Most of our loved ones didnt know we split up

They were too busy living.

I should have packed my things and all my jewelry rings.

Instead I trapped myself with the monster,

I Even convinced myself full of wonder.

How do you love someone who isn't ever around?

This person will make you smash to the ground.

Each argument held thoughts of Evil,

You easily snuck into my family like a weasel.

They believed your every word.

Too bad, half the things you said where absurd.

Your lies held so many empty promises,

At 18 years old I definitely wasn't the smartest.

Negativity rose through you like volcanic acid,

You put me in my own casket,

Without even realizing it.

Mental abuse is just as bad as physical.

The ways you would play with my brain,

made my mind in the state critical.

I don't miss how you where always so Blue.

And you'll regret the day you told my little girl "Mommy Doesn't want you."

So many unnecessary actions ,

Running away became my instant reaction.

From that first time you chased me down Winterdale road,

In me Fear was noticable .

Wrapping me in an unfamiliar embrace, I wasn't used to this new face.

Only 5 words.

Words that should have been soothing,

Came from your lips like you where the "New King."

"I WONT LET YOU GO."

I cried out in need of someone familiar,

Your squeeze could have killed her.

Your arms where larger back then,

And I remember from the last time I prayed amen.

You took me to North Carolina,

We should have just went to China.

The trailer was perfect, but not a single thing that happened was worth it.

My insecurities got me thinking about my appearance,

I spoke into the distance.

I'm Fat" escaped my big mouth,

Soon enough everything went south.

The trailer was demolished.

We had to repolish.

You didn't even blink when you picked up the couch.

I should have noticed you where a big Ole grouch.

Wholes filled walls and DVDS covered the floor,

AlthoughYou did a whole lot more.

My body was too sore.

Anger is one with you,

This is one of the reasons we are through.

But that was 8 years ago,

Now days, I'm always in a rush to run from you.

I had just turned sixteen years old.

At 49 years, your stories will always be told.

Foolish of me to fall for your rebels,

I was a child who didn't know about many battles.

Atleast, I'd have to agree,

There was a way out for me.

At this point in time,

Your words became a rhyme.

With every demand,

I bowed down to your slick command.

When I was sixteen I thought I had fell inlove,

But the devil himself rose from above.

Your horns pierced through my soul,

And by the 8th year I lost all control.

You never cared about my heart, you just didn't want to be alone or left as one part.

Your Obsessions reached right to the bone.

My heart will need to be re-sowed.

You made me let go of important people,

Your grasp on me was deadly and Lethal.

It was only you that created my frown.

Sometimes I hoped you weren't such a clown.

But with all our chaotic madness,

I fell into a large hole if blackness.

I hated Khloe Lea with a passion,

So much I could have thrown her in acid.

That's what you did to me emotionally,

Physically is a story for those who talk socially .

Because they all knew the rumors,

Everyone believes the good old Dufton and his humors.

What did he do that was so bad?

How about taking a better look? my bad?

For when I was Only seventeen,

He fed me methamphetamine.

I became addicted and found myself a victim.

SHAWN DUFTON was a foolish man with a thought out system.

We began to drink more than i like to admit,

The first time he put his hands on me,

You wouldn't believe it.

We still raised our glasses for a toast,

Of coarse the first thing you said got put on a post.

For maybe 4 years, I delt with so many tears.

You smashed things in anger,

I had to admit to myself this was danger.

But my mind played with my heart ,

And I tried to leave but couldn't part.

Deep down in me,

there was still a beating heart.

I had trained my brain into thinking ilovedyou.

Foolish child, you only saw what was dangled above you.

Promises of a fairy tale love,

You never cared, only gave me some shoves.

The bathroom door came with me to the floor,

I landed on a heater, and got some burns on my back that lasted a year or more.

You always told me to open up.

But your ears wherent big enough.

The friends I made, you took advantage of.

I couldn't have girlfriends that wouldn't help you get it up for them.

You where seductive,

Too bad I was abducted.

By a real man who knew exactly what I was going through.

He had the same problems, and you put him down because he did better than you

He knew I was gonna commit suicide, younever let tell about my time.

Opening up to him felt comfortable.

Being around him the first couple times was emotional.

He held me when i cried and opened my eyes to see your disguise.

The torment I endured, soon was cured.

By thi who knew my worth.

You'll never hurt me again,

Because he will ruin your pride to no end.

Fuck around and you'll be sorry.

My daughter will soon be with me and maybe I'll give her a sister to play with in a safari.

I hope you realize the damage that you've caused.

When I grow with a glow you'll know

That in the end you should have paused.

Thought about what you could have prevented.

Maybe then I wouldn't have been arguementive.

But don't get me wrong,

We just didn't belong.

In a relationship that took years to figure out.

I was Only 16

should have listened to that doubt.

My heart doesn't ache for you anymore

because soon enough,

You'll be alone with only your hand to play.

Furthermore, let me apologize.

For the things I kept secret and on the side.

Don't think you have the upper hand in this war.

Mama's bear is coming for her cub.

And if you try to give me a lug,

This new man of mine will give you a slug.

Dont play with my new confidence.

Bc I'll have 900 reasons to bring my Prince.

Don't mess with a game you don't know how to play.

Bc this Queen will turn your ass into Clay.

That little girl deserves to be happy.

Not sit around and watch you age crappy.

She'll have smiles for hours,

And she's young so she'll forget all about you.

We where supposed to be a team, a family of three,

Instead you broke me to my knees and now I have to ween.

Like a baby, I cry some nights

Thinking about how we got into those fights.

Infront of a 2 year old who only seen mommy and daddy playing mean.

Deadly we where , let's let this one go before we begin to lure, another black whole that will suck me dry.

I just need some healing time.

To cure myself of the pain you gave me for a long while.

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suteshiro · 5 years

Text

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Open, kinda? My closet is built into a wall and one of the sides has like, shelves I use often so it’s just open for accesibility

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Nope! I got nerfed, honestly. I’d look lovely with freckles

(3) Can You Whistle?

Hahaha nope,

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Night of Fire bc im listening to an eurobeat mix while working on a school assignment skjfvnskjfv last song I Willingly listened to is The Hearse by matt maeson which fucking slaps

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Probably purple!

(6) Relationship Status.

Single

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

18 celsius/64 fahrenheit. pretty average but for some reason im cold

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Nope! I woke up feeling wonderfully actually

(9) How Many Followers?

404. Very nice number

(10) Zodiac Sign.

I’m a scorpio and a dragon :3

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Brown!

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

I do not, though I used to and might start again, who’s to say

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Not rlly. I shower listening to music and I have a lot of trouble singing along to things im hearing for some reason skfnvskfjb

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

I’m too embarrassed to say publicly which one im reading now skjvnskfjb i kinda wanna read some cute cheesy romance in the nearby future

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

I grabbed the first lotr book and gottt

“Ah,” said Ted, “ you hear them, if you listen. But if I wanted to listen to old lady tales and childish legends, I’d stay home”

(Translated a bit roughly bc my physical books are mostly in spanish

(16) Favourite Anime?

You cant ask me thatt skjfvnklabmksfjb It might be Violet Evergarden? It’s the only anime that’s really made me cry

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

I think I cried in front of my mom at some point recently while pretending i wasnt crying

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Notebooks skfnskfsnb I just think they’re neat

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

havent Lunched yet, dont scold me

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

I’m rarely in cars and they’re usually not mine

(21) Favourite Animal?

Coatimundis pretty...... and adorable

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Nope

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

I try to go to bed a bit before midnight but im needy and like talking to my friends so its usually around 2am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

Nope! I p much never do that

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Both have their pros! I think I tend towards pools bc as a rule they dont rlly have like, annoying consequences

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

@yournewapartment keeps popping up in my dash with good advice and nice stuff and i appreciate it

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled waterr the tap water in my building is weird and doesnt seem very safe to drink and by now i hate the taste skjvfnkjn

(28) What Makes You Happy?

My friends, comedy shows, reading good fanfiction, writing fanfiction, drawing my characters, reading about others’ characters, giving gifts, the smell of roses, fairy pokemon, butterflies-

I like being happy

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

Im not really a Keeps Gifs That Convey Emotions kinda guy

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Depends a lot skjvfnskfjvn my brain keeps switching

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Very hard questions,,, I think I tend towards dogs bc they’re like me. Big. Excitable. Needy.

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Purble.,......

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

PlayStation

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

I have been in the ocean before and idk how much i liked it but sure id do it again. A lake sounds fun!!

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

I practice it!

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Red

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

I’m not sure what exactly this is asking

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

I like saving money skjfnvksjv I rarely think of things to spend it on

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Ye! There’s a bag I use to keep my chargers in it when im outside. it has flower pictures. very pretty

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Love Live,,,,, and now my character Curiosity bc @zuramaru is an angel and running a campaign he’s in and we played yesterday and holy shit theres a lot going on

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Oh yes!! this one time I was in a place absolutely full of butterflies and I caught one between my cupped hands and it stayed there when I opened them and it was a wonderful experience

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Ya,, I do the fawning thing so I tend to agree with other people by default, lest we have any kind of conflict

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Oh yes, most of the dreams I remember are. bizarre

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Yeah!!! Only done it twice but it was a blast

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Inside Out fucking got to me

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Peanuts,,, I don’t like sunflower seeds. I mean they’re tasty but. Too much effort for too little reward

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Uuuuh, FOB probably

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not really, but also yes? I have a few things I absolutely refuse to put in my mouth

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Perhaps? I’m not very hard to wake up but I can sleep through a lot of stuff

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nah I fucking love it

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Yes!! I think I would actually like to become a writer. Not sure tho

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yea but only when I’m really into it. Like, usually I’m listening to stuff and the volume tends to low but then there’s this One song and I turn it up all the way until it’s over

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents, I’ve never carved pumpkins before skjfvnskjfv seems like a hassle and I’d feel bad for not making it look nice

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Haven’t you noticed (I’m a star) from Steven Universe

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Winterr

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Choclet........

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

Here you go!

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Solarian!

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

I’m a tea guy!

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

I’m helping translate an entire thing about the way emails work, its a bit of a hassle skjfvnsf

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Uuuuh I’ve been questioning but im mlm and also into nb people

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Yeah! Makes me feel accomplished and sexy

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

SYLVEON SYLVEON SYLVEON

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Absolutely Tumblr. Unless you count Discord as a social media

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I don’t use. Instagram. But sure they’re neat

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

A little. Usually when I travel I’m either at a place I hate or at a place where I don’t have commodities I do have at home skjfnskjfb so I miss my room

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yup

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Uuuh I’m using a Head & Shoulders shampoo I believe? WIth no conditioner bc my hair is real short now and conditioner tends to feel weird

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Well you see I would choose the crappy motel but 60 bucks seems a bit unattainable so sure, let’s stay in my car

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Nope, father is Dead

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I’m not interested in anything, honestly

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“If I could make days last forever, if words could make wishes come true, I’d save every day like a treasure and then, again, I would spend them with you”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

There’s this like. Really nice honey color

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

I loved swinging! I still do but I’m. Self conscious about my weight and scared of breaking something

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Some pastries for breakfast

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

20B wives, My sweet angel is a real angel, BitLife, Buriedbornes, Cardinal Quest 2, Crazy 8, Egg Inc, FarmVille 2, Fire Emblem Heroes, Gardenscapes, Get bigger! Mola, Homescapes, Human Resource Machine, Kept Man Life, Love Live, Mermaid Evolution, My Little Star VIP, Piano Tiles 2, Plague Inc, Pocket City, Pokémon GO, Puzzledom, SmithStory, Soul Knight, Tap Knight, Tower Breaker

To be clear quite a few of these stay there completely untouched

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

What kind of question is this???

I mean I don’t know CPR but if I could yeah???

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

… listen,

right now ive only been on my computer for like an hour or two but yeah ive done that,

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

I don’t think so?

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yyyyes and no. I’m a bit awkward but I like people

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Oh!! I wear this really pretty crown shaped ring but idk where I left it

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed closed closed I haaate when my bedroom door is open

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Talk with friends, make some tea, read? I haven’t done a lot today skvnskjvn

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Comfy shirt and sweatpants

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

What’s a beauty?

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

uuuh both? hard to answer??

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Well, we’ve already clarified what I have on my phone skjfnskjfb

THe only games I know I have on console are Mortal Kombat Armageddon, Devil May Cry 3 special edition, and Okami. Oh! And God of War. I think at least the first and second. Were there more than two?

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

Nah

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

I don’t like fizzy drinks, they make my throat hurt

But Fanta is nice

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Melodic voices singing, the rain, absentminded humming, small clicking noises...

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans! I have very few but I’ve grown fond of them. Used to wear yoga pants pretty exclusively before

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Gorgeous, of course

Skjvnskfjvn I’m still wearing the clothes I used to sleep

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Ghibli movies

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

A star map on my back!

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Right now I think that’s John Wolfe. But I like quite a few

#The crow speaks #This was a lot of questions vksjnksjbf

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