#that episode still haunts my core (T_T) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heavymetalchemist · 4 years

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Who’s ready for a barely-edited unhinged somewhat drunken rant to my friends about Jiang Cheng?

ME: okay so here is why jiang cheng is THE BEST and I will fite anyone who doesn't like him. first off when we first meet him he is obviously supposed to be a dick, like I didn't like him at first either, I was like "what the fuck is this guy's problem" but O MY FRIENDS do we ever find out what his problem is.

here we have this guy who we see is very talented, very strong, cares a lot about doing A Good Job and his appearance. oh yes Jiang Cheng cares so much about his reputation and this is portrayed as kind of a weakness/flaw, which isn't totally inaccurate. But WHY is he like this?? Because his parents suck essentially

like the whole part where he's like "my dad doesn't like me because he doesn't like my mom" is super telling because do we ever see in the show any affection shown to jc from his parents? basically like twice: the one time his mom hugs him and he's like O_O omg mom is hugging me???? this has never happened what do???? which, oh no baby

and then when he is having his golden core transplant and we see the flashback to when he was a CHILD. like the one time with his brother and sister and parents and they are happy and smiling and calling for him to join and he sees his little child self running... and then TEARS OF BLOOD OH NO

so basically like, his dad sucks for being strict with him and not really fathering him at all, his mom is basically straight up abusive. he never gets shown affection by ANYONE except for Yanli and Wei Ying. So obviously those are his two primary relationships.

but the thing is he wants that parental approval SO BAD. that's why he has all this pressure to be like, the perfect clan leader's son, the perfect young cultivator, etc etc. Literally any flaw will be pounced on by his mom or just ignored by his dad. Like he's just trying to get his dad to acknowledge him and his mom to maybe not yell at him?

meanwhile wwx is just dicking around and being contrary and like, jc wants that. It's why he's always with him. It's why he's there with the Party Room at the cloud recesses having the alcohol with huiasang, it's why he's always by wwx's side, and it's why he makes that comment, when have I ever dodged a punishment with you?

like he's incredibly fiercely loyal to wwx because even though he has this inferiority thing, especially since his dad really IS kinder and more affectionate to wwx, wwx is the one person he can depend on

like yanli is obviously an emotional support to both of them and basically a surrogate mother, but she's not anywhere near their level of cultivation and he's like, obviously we must protect her. like what can she really do to protect either of them? so they both take it upon themselves to protect her

like I don't know how much you saw of the anime or whatever R but in that one/the novel the scene where Jin Zixuan disses her is way harsher

R: :gasp:

ME: and jc wants to punch him and wwx shoves him out of the way precisely because he knows that he, wwx, can be the unruly child and fuck up

R: I haven't watched past the first episode of the anime yet, and in the show it's ?????

ME: so he is protecting jc because jc would END that guy for attacking his sister

oh yeah they want to fucking kick his ass

R: But wow, yeah in the novel it's really clear that wwx is like 'I got him'

ME: like wwx is literally protecting jc because he knows that would cause all sorts of interclan drama. I mean he also wants to fuck the guy up too but the thing is that wwx always trusts jc to do the right thing. out on the night hunt with the wen clan when they have no swords and he goes to help lan zhan? he's like, I gotta it's the right thing, and jc is all like, you gotta worry about yourself? like wwx just goes off because he knows that jc will be fine on his own. he trusts his strength

we see it later in the cave with the slaughter xanwu (sp) where jc is the one who goes swimming and finds the exit and leads people out, and he's like desperately trying to get wwx out and is all I WILL COME BACK FOR YOU

but wwx is like, nah jc will definitely get us help. it's only a matter of time. NO DOUBT. AT ALL

MARLOWE: WALKED TO YUNMENG AND BACK

NO REST

NO CREDIT

ME: and jc is basically constantly like I love you but you keep getting into these situations, and you don't understand that I would fucking die for you. because what would I do without you???

because like he's one of the only two people who shows that he loves jc. and of course jc doesn't know how to like, express love back, because his parents are awful, and it's constantly about looking good. any flaw is pounced on. so he hides it behind this aloof sardonic demeanor, and we see it later when he's constantly like, I'll break your legs to jin ling, and then jin ling is like, pft he's never even touched me

because it's that kind of just, I care about you so much and I don't know how to say it because I have been taught that openly expressing emotion is weakness and I have to shut the fuck up

so instead he hides everything behind this whole *scoffs* face. but you constantly see that he is totally loyal to wwx. he's so worried when he starts getting haunted. he doesn't understand why wwx, who always supported him, who SWORE that he would be his main disciple and main supporter, who would be the lan zhan to his lan xichen, is suddenly not carrying his sword and acting weird? and he's like, I have basically no power, our whole clan got murdered, I'm coasting on the lasting goodwill and good name of the jiang clan and doing my best, and you always had my back even with your sass and... suddenly you're cold to me? he disappears for three months

THREE MONTHS

HE IS SO WORRIED

he's looking everywhere along with lan zhan

they FIND HIM

he's obviously super haunted

but then jc HUGS HIM

which is this huge, like, he actually initiates physical contact

he breaks that aloofness because he is so happy and relieved

and wwx DOES NOT HUG BACK

MY HEART BREAK

R: oh noooooh jesus

ME: so then the whole thing with the wen clan but like

R: :cries tears: oh no

ME: he's all okay so I betray you, and jc is like, but, you swore you'd be my guy. and at first it's like they are still in touch though right

R: yah like on the down low

ME: like, I can't protect you from other clans, so wwx is like okay we will say I left so that way the jiang clan doesn't get blamed for this. so wwx is still protecting jc

R: nrghg in the show that line is the worst I was just ack yes

ME: but jc doesn't really have the power to do anything to help him except support him secretly. like the whole thing where yanli is gonna have a baby and it was jc's idea to have wwx give him the courtesy name, but he doesn't want to admit it because again he just. can't. express emotion. because like imagine him trying to have an emotion at his parents. SHUT DOWN. so he's still just struggling to express anything to anyone really and this is another one of those gestures that he loves wwx. but then the super haunting happens right, and wen ning kills Jin Zixuan, and jc is like

YOU SAID YOU HAD IT UNDER CONTROL

and it's because he TRUSTED him totally, because wwx is his brother and loves him! but he has just hurt the one other person he loves, yanli

R: He's trying so hard to just keep a hold of him just a little oh my god

and he's always been this like...gosh flawed but also flawless?

ME: and he doesn't know what to do because the thing is he's always had faith in wwx's skills, he never would have thought that he would lie to him or betray him but now it's like, fucking haunted. murders the husband. then shows up and yanli gets killed. and yeah yanli dies actually protecting wwx but the thing is jc is like

YOU HAD

ONE JOB

PROTECT YANLI

because that's what they did as brothers. because that was like, their mom, you know???? like their affection mom??? so jc has lost his sister and also his brother, and has NO ONE

R: the one who actually made them food and gave them hugs T_T

ME: and of course he like, loses his shit and is like GO TO HELL because, his entire world has crumbled

R: yes T_T yes T_T of course

ME: he had two people to count on and one is dead and the other betrayed him by causing the other to die, by not having his back like he SWORE, and this is basically the only person who ever demonstrated that he was loved at all. if he doesn't have that what does he even have?

but like, IMMEDIATE regret

we hear about the constant hunting for his body, trying to summon his soul, the single minded dedication to finding him, because what's killing him is of course he regrets his part in wwx's death, but also - why? why did his brother, who he trusted more than anyone, who trusted HIM, who always believed in HIS skills, and HIS dedication, unlike his parents, who he was never good enough for, why did he betray him? like.... you know he's basically sitting there: was it something I did? was I not good enough for you?

you see it with the jealousy with lan zhan. you discarded me for the amazing hanguan jun? WHY AM I NEVER GOOD ENOUGH

and so he's obsessed with trying to get that closure. he Has To Know. and at the end he finally gets an answer. all the weird behavior, the haunting, not having the sword, going everywhere with wen ning as bodyguard - because wwx made the ultimate sacrifice for him - he gave him his golden core. and like, how could... how could anything ever compare to that

like he's crushed because that all happened because he gave himself up to save wwx, and got his core crushed, and was tortured, but he had to save his brother! THE ONLY FAMILY HE HAD LEFT. THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED HIM. not to discount Yanli but... not the same. just not the same

so he's been sitting there this whole time going: I got my core crushed for you, I was tortured for you, I almost lost cultivation forever for you, and you threw me under the fucking bus, and then he finds out that no, he was good enough the whole time. like, what could wwx possibly give lan zhan that would ever top that, honestly? it's the ultimate affirmation that his relationship with jc WAS important and DID matter and he DID love him. and then he finally gets his apology for how wwx doesn't have his back and just, TEARS FOREVER

CRIES IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

FUCK ALL Y'ALL I AM GONNA HAVE AN EMOTION

and then does he tell wwx about how he got his core crushed? no. because it doesn't matter now. because all that matters is that he knows that wwx loved him. and for once, it's not a competition. he finally knows it's really, truly mutual

and even though there's all these years of bitterness and misunderstanding, like, suddenly he can look back and have the feeling of "he really never stopped loving me" and suddenly he's not so totally alone any more

R: Oh. *OH* I wondered why he didn't tell him.

ME: and NOW all I want is for him to give Jin Ling a goddamn hug

yeah if he told him... it would feel like that one-upmanship again. and I think that jc has finally realized he's good enough. and he doesn't need to do that

R: :flaps hands::flaps hands: it makes sense

ahh

that was the missing piece for me

oh gosh ahh

ME: GROWTH

R: growth!!!!!

ME: but yeah like, jc was literally just sitting there like, what the fuck, I would have died for you, I almost DID fucking die for you, and you turn around and won't wear a sword to support me so that we look like a strong united front with these other clan leaders?and yes, meng yao was right - he should have stood up for wwx and been like "yeah whatever he can do what he wants" instead of acting doubtful. but of course he was doubtful. does wwx even ever touch him after he comes back totally haunted? like definitely not in the same way. I'd have to go back and see

but he's sitting there like, I don't understand! and he can't express himself, and wwx doesn't help because EVERYTHING IS A FUCKING JOKE. WHEN IS HE SERIOUS. WHEN IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS

so jc is like... has it been a joke the whole time? have I been a joke to you the whole time? and that's the catharsis at the end - nope. not a joke. it was real. it was really, really real. you were right to love him and to trust him. all this bad shit, it's not like wwx is innocent, but it WASN'T him. he gets his apology, but more importantly he gets the affirmation that he's really loved and deserving and good enough. and that's like, what he needs the most

he's "parenting" jin ling this way because it's what his parents did to him and he became a good cultivator, so, like, yeah, but also because he wants everyone to know that jin ling is Good Enough, and this is the best way he knows how

THOSE ARE SOME OF MY THOUGHTS

HOPE YOU ENJOYED

MARLOWE: So many feels T_T

Hug all these boys

R: oh gosh your thoughts are wonderful that moment at the end and he's just like 'ah' gnrghghg T_T

ME: RIGHT

like he just looks after wwx and lz, and thinks back, and has a little smile because like, no it was worth it

imagine how much that must have haunted him. like, "I got my core crushed for you! and you betrayed me! I should have let them take you!" but feeling SO TORN because how could he NOT protect his brother? and finally being able to feel okay with that decision for real

R: ahhh

:clutches heart:

MARLOWE: On the way home he spontaneously hugs Jin Ling

Who thinks he’s being strangled or murdered

ME: O_O

WUT IS HOPPEN

IS FINALLY TIME OF BREAKING LEGS X_X

MARLOWE: YES EXACTLY

Jin Ling’s spirit leaves his body

ME: yes

R: ahahaha just a little ghost right out his mouth

ME: then jc is all like

lets him go with a shove and scoffs

pft

let's go

stop standing there with your face like that

MARLOWE: T_T uncle

R: ahaha oh no

ME: but yes also jc cares like so so much and is just constantly doin his best

like yeah he's competitive and a perfectionist but also the jiang clan got wiped the fuck out and in "present" timeline it's still one of the four most powerful clans!he did that!he's harsh and arrogant but skilled and fiercely loyal and obviously cares about making sure that the jiang clan's reputation is as impeccable as possible and you can see how loyal its members are to him. like all these disciples aren't from nowhere. they all had to come in y'know? because so many were murdered by wen fucking chao. and as strict and harsh as he is like, I can just see him being an extremely dedicated teacher, doing his best to make every cultivator in his sect as good as possible

unlike certain assholes who may have totally deserved death by gangbang

MARLOWE: what

ME: what?

MARLOWE: that took a sudden turn

ME: jin guanshan or whatever is a douche fuck that guy

if we're talking clan leaders

just saying

R: XD

MARLOWE: OHHHH

ok i'm back on board all is clear

ME: did you forget

about

death by gangbang

because it's a Real Plot Point

R: OH

THAT GUY

OH MY GOD

MARLOWE: I JUST WANSN'T EXPECTING 'DEATH BY GANGBANG' AS A SUDDEN TURN IN YOUR DEBATE POINT

R: :cackling:

MARLOWE: passionate and thoughtful defense of jiang cheng's virtues as a sect leader

unlike some people and their death by gangbang

#the untamed #mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #meta #jc trash #I never post anything this is embarrassing #op #BROS

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