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ermanodelgcdo · 10 months

Text

(playlist.)

i'm scared to live but i'm scared to die and if life is pain, then i buried mine a long time ago but it's still alive and it's taking over me, where am i? i wanna feel something, i'm numb inside but i dont feel nothing, i wonder why i'm in the race of life and time passed by look, i sit back and i watch it hands in my pockets waves come crashing over me but i just watch 'em i just watch 'em i'm underwater but i feel like i'm on top of it i'm at the bottom but i don't know what the problem is i'm in a box but i'm the one who locked me in suffocating and i'm running out of oxygen i'm paralyzed

Ever since Ermano pushed his step-dad off the top of the stairs - regardless whether or not it was to protect his mom - that teenager no longer felt … well, anything. That day played a huge role in who Ermano is today. Never did he believe he could be capable of taking a life and now Ermano makes up for it by helping everyone and anyone, even if he's saying no to himself. It truly is a growing internal battle especially in the world's current climate.

lately i've been wondering what's been going on i've been here before but i don't remember when and every time we get to where we're entering i feel my beliefs and hopes surrendering but i know i'll be coming home soon.

there did come a time during ermano's enlistment with the military when he questioned what he was even doing. soldier's eyes is the perfect song for that time in his life.

some people got the real problems some people out of luck some people think i can solve them lord heavens above im only human after all.

every now and then ermano questions if he is worthy enough to be part of the council, if jason chose right.

if the stars fall down on me and the sun refused to shine then may the shackles be undone may all the old words cease to rhyme if the sky turned into stone it will matter not at all for there is no heaven in the sky hell does not wait for our downfall

ermano never believed in a god. but there were times he'd ask the heavens why his life was always so hard. why him? a mental battle rages occasionally, especially growing up with a religious mother who prayed every night.

the only words you've said is, 'i like it when you hug me 'cause i kind of feel you love me' girl, i've never, never loved you but something when wrong like our colors faded can you feel it in the air? and in the way you're staring, babe.

the song for maggie, his ex-wife who he will always love for as long as his heart beats. ermano knows she's with someone else, and when he saw her again he breathed a sigh of relief. but they had been separated for too long and he understands that. @maggievasco

#ermano ;; musings #tfh.task #tfh.task-oo1

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mayrarcjas · 10 months

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(playlist.)

can a princess dress in black? a tiara's not part of my zodiac i need to say goodbye to my childhood cause now i think the poison apple tastes so good. charming boys are getting old when they kiss me they turn to toads i never throw away my voice for someone else if i had the choice and dad i know you must feel like chapedo but i stand so much taller in my stilettos the villain's still somebody's little girl so let me put down my crown and twirl cinderella's dead cinderella's dead my glass carriage is a piece of fruit and i dont need a man in a black tie suit cinderella's gone.

mayra never truly felt like a child with how hard her parents pushed her into studies and piano and ballet and everything else. when she finally broke free and went to college, she believed she'd be able to live a free life. that was until one of her college professors took advantage of her. from that moment on mayra never felt like herself. still, to this day, the woman questions every decision - every choice. every step taken was followed with countless of questions.

but i got a girl who can put on a show the dollar decides how far you can go with her she wraps those hands around that pole she licks those lips and off we go and she takes it off nice and slow 'cause it's pornstar dancing she don't play nice, she makes me beg and she drops that dress around her legs and im sitting right by the stage for this porn star dancing

after mayra's assault, she disappeared. no one knew where the woman went. there was a missing person's report made by her parents and everything. really, the woman found her family's tribe in canada and learned their ways. mentally she needed to heal, physically she needed to no longer feel his hands on them. after five years mayra finally felt a sliver of 'okay'. she returned to her city of philadelphia and changed woman. getting into dancing at the gentleman's club was more her way of taking control back of her body; no one touched her without permission. and if they did, the club's owner made sure to deal with them.

like a small boat on the ocean sending big waves into motion like how a single word can make a heart open i might only have one match but i can make an explosion and all the things i didn't say wrecking balls inside my brain i will scream them loud tonight can you hear my voice this time?

it took many years for mayra to feel comfortable in her own skin again, but the moment she did, there was no going back. she fights every day for herself, especially when it comes to others. she's still a very intelligent person despite not holding a career that said so.

oh, sometimes i pray for you at night someday, maybe you'll see the light oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give but some things only god can forgive i hope you're somewhere praying, praying i hope you're soul is changing, changing i hope you find your peace falling on your knees praying

eventually came that day when mayra realized she was healed enough to … not forgive the man who assaulted her, but enough to say 'i hope you have the life you deserve' and move on. that day came a few weeks before the viral outbreak happened.

i am woman, i am fearless i am sexy, i'm divine i'm unbeatable, i'm creative honey, you can get in line i am feminine, i am masculine i am anything i want i can teach you, i can love you if you got it going on.

self-explanatory.

#mayra ;; musings #tfh.task #tfh.task-oo1 #tw: sa #tw: sa mention

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