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hsj-scenarios · 7 years

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The Ryosukekeke Saga Continues...

Mod J had not checked her inbox, phone, and messages in a while, mostly avoiding messages from the OG who continued to vacillate between out of control anger with threats and swear words, and completely broken sobbing, pleading. That said, she finally felt brave enough to take a look--we peek into her world as she skims through the hundreds of messages...

Eighteen days ago:

Ryosuke:

I see what you all have done! （；¬＿¬) Who is this...this.... @keito-okamoto person? A new Mod? Is that what it is? AND MOD L!!!!!!! OMG WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (☞◣д◢)☞

Ryosuke:

Mod L (╬ಠ益ಠ) backing up this person, this @keito-okamoto person, plus I never settled on the ‘OG’ title. Still! What, did you guys bring on a new mod for the express purpose of disparaging my character? Honestly, I’d like to talk about this.

And the fact that you’ve changed your password Mod J.

⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ WTF

I thought we had an agreement. I’m so put out with you I am going to avoid any song with your name in it from now on. Seriously, I’m making someone else sing my lines--and when I say “I love you, Juliet” I am talking to every other Juliet in the world, but NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!

（￣へ￣）

Mod J: ( responding two and a half weeks later)

ILY. That’s not the new mod, that’s Mod C, your paranoia is on high alert, you need to simmer down now. Look no one is even talking about this anymore! I won’t even be at the concerts, so I don’t care what you do at them......you’re such a toddler.

17 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

WTF is this!?! (; ･`д･´) I thought ( •̀ω•́ )σ you were going to talk to Mod L to get her back on my side! Instead of putting this entire debacle to rest, she is fanning the flames. That quote is taken entirely out of context. It’s absurd and it might even be defamation, or libel, or something, hell, I’m no lawyer. But I DO keep one on retainer--your blog may be hearing from him.

（　｀ー´）OG OUT!

Mod J: (2 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

Ah, see I never said that, ever--you said it...a thousand times, but I never said it or agreed to it. I told you that you needed to take it up with them, because I am NOT your messenger. I’m sure this quote IS out of context, the same way you screaming “Mommy” while on the roller coaster was. I didn’t know Kekeke was such a gifted ventriloquist! *sarcasm off*

15 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Tell Mod L she at least got this s*** right. (*´ー`)

OMG-- @(。・-・)@ your blog is a three ring circus lacking a f***ing ringmaster on it’s best day--on its worst it’s like one of those zoos on Zoo Tycoon where they build this huge zoo, with hundreds of thousands of patrons, and then start feeding the pedestrians to the dinosaurs--or just let all of the carnivorous animals loose.

へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ Either way.

Still, factually speaking, if I were to be a courtesan this is absolutely and unequivocally true. I would be the best, I would win it all, and I would f***ing crush everyone else out of the competition with my prowess.

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ ＂

I want more about me, and this, who am I making the check out to?

(also, I’m gonna beat the hell out of Chinen for putting a d*** filter on my computer now!) （○｀Ｏ´○）

(also, wtf Mod J, ༶ඬ༝ඬ༶ why you gotta bring that up? Am I no longer your number one?)

Mod J: (5 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

I just...no comment. (yes, you are still my no 1! mmmwah)

11 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

I see you’ve closed the requests. <(_ _)> Thank GOD! I know there are at least fifty requests that I sent in about me, which have not been filled to date. Now maybe you can put some quality material out about ME! Please, Mod J, it’s been so long, so long....I’m so sad all the time. I can’t even handle and we’re on tour and I need happy happy happy--give me the happy please!?

.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU.

BTW, why aren’t you responding to me?

｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡

I’ve left messages on your cell phone, your house phone, your email (both), Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, Live Journal, and of course, here. I even got a hold of your neighbor and asked them to tell you to contact me, and if they didn’t I need to know, I gave them a lot of money to do that.

((*｀ﾟдﾟ)ゞ PLEASE SHOW MERCY ON ME!

(and I didn’t even catch the kiss, didn’t even watch it come near me, I swatted it away with great force!)

8 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This fill was strangely accurate. Terrifyingly so. Pls stop. (⁎˃ᆺ˂)

(；´･Д･)(where are you Juliet?)

6 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Mod J, I am going to need you to help me out here. ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ I’m not even kidding, okay? I need you to be f***ing serious right now, cause I am in dire need of your help!

( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

How much do you know about this “Mod L” person? ( ⁰д⁰) Cause...well...I mean, I had a detective come into my house looking for hidden cameras and taps. Paranoid? Nope, realistic, because this is too much like a genuine conversation I actually had with Yutti. I’m freaking out right now. ヽ〔ﾟДﾟ〕丿 Could Mod L be a spy? Could Mod L be someone close to Jump? Could Mod L be someone IN JUMP!?!?! <|๑⊙Д⊙|/

OMG! ε=ε=(怒ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ

Please help! Σ(ﾟДﾟ;≡｀ﾟдﾟ)

Mod J (7 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

You do need help, but not the kind I can offer. Yama-chan, this is all just fiction, not your actual real life. I mean, if you need us to, we’ll put a disclaimer like those movies where it says anything resembling a real life event or person is strictly coincidental. But still...Mod L isn’t in Jump.

You’re just really not as complex as you think you are to be honest. I mean, how do you think we all write you so accurately?

Ryosuke: (2 seconds after the response from Mod J)

Is that an insult? (｡•́︿•̀｡) I’m dizzy again, I mean the world is tilting sideways, why have you forsaken me Mod J?!

.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

Why!?

6 Days Ago:

Ryosuke and Daiki’s friendship in one gif:

Ryosuke:

Yes.

Not gonna lie, I was drinking a soda when I scrolled past this and it literally came out of my nose. It hurt.

Still...｜ｏ゜）Accurate. Terrifyingly accurate. ヘ（。□°）ヘ TOO accurate. I am still leaning toward my hypothesis. Until you offer me proof, anything is possible. Still, I’m for sure the guy in yellow.

⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ Right? Right??

5 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

YES. (it wasn’t me I swear!)

4 Days Ago:

Management: Okay guys, I know Dear was a great outlet to show your sexy sides but we kind of want I/O to be a little more PG.

Ryosuke:

The actual conversation was “Guys, this is going to be a tour with a lot of children attending so we are going to need to keep the atmosphere ‘family friendly’ this time.”

Just to be clear, they were sure as hell staring straight at me while they said it, and you know, that just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up like someone’s challenging me right up here in my dojo.

So I plainly responded, “F*** you, how’s that for family friendly?”

Actually, that didn’t really happen, okay, so it did in my head though and that should count for something. That said, an intelligent conversation took place and they decided it would be wisdom to allow us to perform what we wanted.

ヽ( ･∀･)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ `Д´)ノ

(If Dai-chan or Chii-chan contact you and tell any lies about me pitching a fit and crying and threatening to quit because the world NEEDS my “ah ah ahhhs”, please hear them as the blatant and bold-faced lies they are!)

4 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This is true, except it really wasn’t Keito. (>^_^)><(^o^<) He’s been going through a lot lately--and you know...no matter how selfish you guys seem to think I am, I have a heart for the guy! (ps I meant love, not give-- (; ･`д･´) I can’t write the word f*** on my phone but it can apparently feel the f*** free to change my non-swear words at will!)

3 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This isn’t a good thing--it’s still being talked about.

(ノ｀Д´)ノ~┻━┻

STILL BEING TALKED ABOUT!

This is a bad thing. Stop them--don’t you have any power or control Mod J? What are you DOING about all of this!?! First it was the bane of my existence the BPA, I can’t f***ing drive anywhere now, because everyone apparently knows what car I drive! I mean, let’s be honest, I stand out anyway, so I mean the car--I mean, f***, I’m getting off track--listen, this same person is...just, now they’re saying they did the Kekeke thing too?

┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES THAT MAN HAS LEFT MESSAGES ON MY CELL PHONE CACKLING MADLY!? All hours of the day and night I tell you!

Щ(º̩̩́Дº̩̩̀щ) Can’t you ban them? For me? Please?! I’ll say “I love you Juliet” and mean you, only you in all the world of all of the girls named Juliet!

(/□＼*)・゜PLEASE.

3 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Please? 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

3 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

(ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) I LOVE YOU JULIET! PLEASE

・゜・(ノД`) PLEASE PLEASE!??!?!!? (｡♥‿♥｡)

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

(⊙_☉) What the actual F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? F***ing hell! This is insane. You’re all crazy. (⊙.☉)7

ꉂ (๑¯ਊ¯)σ л̵ʱªʱªʱª (ps I sent this to Takaki--and now he’s mad at me because I wouldn’t tell him where it came from! lolololololol)

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Less food network, more writing about me. (´｀;) ？What has happened to your blog?

YOU STILL AREN’T ANSWERING ME!?!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

Did I do something? (′︿‵｡) Did I? (´•ω•̥`) I can’t fix it if you won’t talk to me.

2 Days Ago:

Ryosuke:

This is both alarming at how accurate it is (again!) and that you guys paint me to be some kind of control freak who can’t handle a relationship without knowing every intimate detail of someone’s life.

...

Well, it’s still alarming how accurate it is anyway.

I’m hiring a bodyguard.

I quit you. ~(>_<。)＼

1 Day Ago:

HS7 @ the 113th 1130000000000000th time that Chinen mentioned Ohno:

Ryosuke:

I fixed this for you.

(I can’t quit you, please, you guys gotta still love me, okay!? I didn’t mean it!)

1 Day Ago:

Keito after he watched Ryosuke’s kissing scene 4 84 times, twelve times while Ryosuke was in the room with him begging him not to.

Ryosuke:

I fixed this for you.

1 Day Ago:

Yuto: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars :)

Ryosuke: If anyone, and I mean /anyone/, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky without sexual gratification in some way, shape, or form they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Ryosuke:

I fixed this for you. Just saying, I love to sleep but c’mon. Just...c’mon!

Mod J: (12 minutes after two and a half weeks later)

Bless your heart. Just...bless it.

Ryosuke: (20 seconds later)

Are you patronizing me? ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ)

Mod J:

No, I really want your heart to be very blessed, you’ve worked yourself up into a frenzy, haven’t you? Deep breath, everything is fine, people are all about Yuya and the salad ship now, you know? Kekeke will get tired of paying us to torture you, and everything will go back to normal, with our blog filled with lots of stories that make you look like the amazing guy you really are! Just take a deep breath, it’s all going to be okay! I’ll take good care of you from here!

Ryosuke:

ヾ(;ﾟ;Д;ﾟ;)ﾉﾞYou promise?

Mod J:

I promise.

Ryosuke:

(‘∀’●)♡ ILY Juliet.

Juliet:

ILY2 (´∀｀)♡

Today:

Ryosuke:

Mod J, I take back everything! I just saw that the person who started all of this Ryosukekeke craziness is the one who was in Paris!

(‘∀’●)♡ Listen, I was terrified, being in a foreign country, facing so many fans, and not sure what the reception would be. I’m used to facing those kinds of challenges with the other Jump members, not by myself--there’s always been a level of security in having everyone there, you know? But this time, I was all alone...

So here I was feeling so alone and worried and afraid and then there was this lovely fan, smiling, and happy, and overjoyed--holding this uchiwa that said “Ryosukekeke” and I swear, I laughed so hard! I really did!

It was this bright shining moment, and the fan was so lovely--a happy smile in the midst of so much trepidation--and there was such peace to be found in the idea that there was at least one fan there who wasn’t going to approach me from the perspective that I was Japanese ( ´△｀) and not whatever nationality they wanted Ed to be (despite it being fictional), who wasn’t going to come at me from the thought that I couldn’t possibly be good enough, ฅ(๑’Δ’๑) that our team couldn’t pull it off, that I was going to fail the collective FMA fandom.

That one fan was going to be there to see me, ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Yamada Ryosuke, and not just as the Idol from Jump either! But as the ~ヾ(＾∇＾) PERSON I really am--as there’s no show that proves more about who I am genuinely than our own show does! That fan watched the show enough to know about my love/hate relationship with Kekeke--and you know what?

d=(´▽｀)=b I’ll go through anything to give back to that fan, even suffer through months of ridicule from my members, and incessant phone call messages from Kekeke, and even having a lot of posts on your blog that make fun of me! Because, there’s no way I can say, not for one second, that my feelings are more important than that single fan’s happiness.

（⌒▽⌒ゞ Not for one second.

To my Dear @sekairiinu, (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) my “Ryosukekeke” fan--thank you for being a bright light in a sea of uncertainty.

（*’∀’人）♥ I pay my respects with my embarrassment gladly!

--OG

PS I am still not so sure about your Mod L. Can you give me definitive proof that she ISN’T someone in Jump?!

#Hey! Say! JUMP #Yamada Ryosuke #hey say jump #drabble #ryosukekeke #Mod J #I didn't check the dates but the posts are in the right order #prompt fill

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