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renaerys · 4 years

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PPG One-Shot: Glad to the Point of Fear

For @secretie who wanted adult!Blues in quarantine. Which, I have delivered but also it turned into Sister Code™ with some Reds and Greens in there too because I have exactly zero self control. This is also kind of in the same world/after the events of Beyond This Morning, my ongoing adult!PPG/RRB fic over on AO3. You don’t need to have read that to enjoy this, but there are some fun references to it for anyone who has.

Summary: A new strain of the AB virus has surfaced, forcing all of Townsville into mandatory self-quarantine until a vaccine can be created. Bubbles and Boomer pass the time with a little help from their siblings and their two young children.

xxx

Sunlight through the open curtains crept over the bed slowly, warm fingers through Bubbles’ tousled hair gently waking her from a dream. She couldn’t quite remember the dream, only that it had been warm. She squinted her eyes to the light and wished for that warmth again, just for a little bit longer.

The warmth ended up finding her and wrapped her in a velvet embrace with a sweet sigh.

“Mm,” she mumbled, pressing her face closer.

Boomer’s laugh was low and pleasing against the crown of her head, where he pressed a kiss to her sleep-tangled hair. “It’s morning.”

“Five more minutes,” she said, snuggling closer.

He laughed again and pulled his fingers through her hair, out of her face. “Tired?”

His palm slid around the small of her back. Her tank top had ridden up during the night. Deft fingers traced her skin, following the uneven paths of pale stretch marks they loved well. Bubbles opened her blue eyes and found his watching her behind too-long bangs. A brush of blond stubble dusted his cheeks and chin, ticklish. Normally he was clean-shaven, but the days at home were lax and languid, and Bubbles felt a bit like a carefree teenager again.

She smiled and dragged her nails down his bare chest. “Not so much anymore.”

He grinned in his goofy, cute way, but nothing about the way he flipped them over and pulled her close was goofy. Their kiss was like their morning, unhurried and dreamy. Boomer’s gravity pressed her down into the soft mattress, and slowly their hearts began to skip as they searched for more of each other.

“Bwito?”

Bubbles froze just as Boomer’s hand slipped below the waistband of her sleep shorts, and not a moment too soon. A blaze of blue crashed into their bed and would have broken it (and Boomer) in half if not for Bubbles’ quick reflexes and Super strong arms.

“Bwito!”

Boomer gathered the bedspread over his lap to hide his boner from his two-year-old daughter, but her sudden appearance killed the mood and the morning. Bubbles, frustrated but resigned, managed a tired smile and hugged her daughter close.

“So, you want to be a burrito, huh?”

The little girl laughed. “Mama bwito!”

Bubbles couldn’t stay annoyed that her romantic morning had been cut short, not when her daughter looked up at her with those laughing, ultramarine eyes. “I don’t know, I think a Beryl burrito would taste much better.” She nuzzled Beryl’s short, blonde hair, making her giggle.

“Too loud.”

Boomer, somewhat recovered, got up to greet their newest intruder. “Aw, Bryce, were we laughing too loud for you, buddy?”

Bryce clutched a stuffed Bunny-Bunny toy under one arm and sucked his thumb with the other. Blue eyes so pale they glowed nearly white glared up at Boomer very seriously. Bubbles bit her lip so as not to giggle, but she could do nothing about Beryl squealing and squirming in her arms.

Boomer smiled tiredly and offered his arms to his son. “Okay, I’m sorry. We’ll be quiet, yeah? Can I get a hug?”

Bryce eyed him, skeptical of his overly facetious father always playing games like a child, but he couldn’t resist the hug and floated up on his own to meet Boomer halfway. It was his mistake.

“One burrito, coming up!” Boomer announced, and dashed back to the bed with Bryce.

Bubbles and Beryl erupted with laughter as Boomer quickly rolled them all into one blue, burrito family under the covers. Smooshed between his cackling parents and twin sister, even the normally quiet Bryce succumbed to the fun and burst out laughing. Bubbles plastered him and his sister with kisses and held them tight, wishing this moment would never end.

xxx

“I wanna donut!” Beryl declared from her high chair in the kitchen.

Boomer had managed to get her hair into a cute little topknot, but he’d had to bribe her with one of Bubbles’ sparkly scrunchies. She was in to glitter these days, though he supposed with Bubbles for a mother, he should not have been too surprised.

“Me too,” Boomer said. “But we’re in quarantine, so we can’t go to King Donut until the government can come up with a vaccine for the new AB virus strain.”

Beryl did not like that answer, and her dark blue power sparked around her little fists and rattled the plastic silverware on her tray.

“Uh-oh,” Bryce said, covering his ears. He had gotten out of his own high chair yet again despite how well Bubbles strapped him in there and dashed to his mother by the stove.

Bubbles looked up from the griddle where she was prepping French toast. “What’s going on?”

Boomer shoved a hand over his daughter’s lethal mouth and braced himself for impact. Her Sonic Scream rattled him to the bone even muffled under his own oppressive power. And shit did she have a pair of lungs.

Twitching, Boomer staggered back and leaned on a counter to get his bearings while Bubbles appeared in a flash of bright blue looking quite displeased.

“Beryl, what did I say about inside voices?” she scolded in an extremely intimidating teacher voice.

Beryl looked up at her mother with wide, uncertain eyes. Like Boomer, she was trembling as she too recovered from the force of her mini Sonic Scream.

“Well?” Bubbles said.

It was too much for the two-year-old, and she looked down, ashamed. She muttered something under her breath.

“What was that? I don’t think your father heard you.”

Boomer winced at that tone.

Beryl bit her trembling lip and looked up. “I’m sowwy.”

Bubbles nodded. “That’s what I thought you said.” She stroked Beryl’s round cheek and smiled softly.

Bubbles returned to the cooking, while Boomer and Bryce exchanged a look like they had both dodged a bullet. He winked at his son, earning himself a little smile.

“Better get back in your high chair and stay there, or Mom’s gonna do her own Sonic Scream,” he said.

Bryce was back in his chair faster than Boomer could blink upon hearing that warning, and he bit back a laugh.

“You really are hardcore,” Boomer said as he got out plates for the food.

“And you spoil them too much,” Bubbles said, piling enough French toast onto the plates to feed a family thrice their size.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Chatter drew their attention. Bryce had technically stayed in his high chair, but now he floated it off the ground and hovered it closer to Beryl’s side of the table, where she had generated a blue energy ball. With a laugh, she threw it impossibly fast at Bryce, who caught it easily and giggled. Boomer had seen them play this game a hundred times before ever since Beryl manifested his corporeal energy powers around the time she also threw her first Sonic Scream tantrum. But even so, the sight of his children laughing and playing together like they had nothing at all to fear in the world twisted something in his heart, and he could never tire of the sight.

A soft brush of lips against Boomer’s cheek drew his gaze from them.

“A kind father is a brave father,” she said.

Boomer’s throat clenched. “Guess I wouldn’t know.”

Her eyes never left his, and her smile was fierce. “Then we’ll teach you every day.”

The love in her voice was so clear he could feel it, and best of all, he knew she meant every word. Heat burned his eyes as he let himself believe her, just a little more every day, but she was patient, and so were their children. They would not grow up like Boomer did. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be as kind and as brave as Bubbles believed he was, but he could be here. Every day, just a little bit longer, he could be here for them like his own father had not been there for him.

She was kissing him before he could get a coherent response out, and god he could taste her love and the love she had for their little family. Bubbles had always had so much of it to give, and even now he could scarcely believe she’d given it to him.

A little gasp and a hair-raising sensation on the back of Boomer’s neck was all the split-second forewarning he got, but it was just enough for him to snatch the blue energy ball Bryce had thrown awry with enough force to blow a small hole in the kitchen wall. Bubbles smiled into their kiss that he didn’t bother breaking as he tossed the ball back to the kids, and Beryl caught it with a delighted squeal.

“French toast time?” Bubbles whispered when they broke their kiss.

Boomer grinned like the smitten fool he was. “The best time.”

“Donuts!” Beryl chanted.

“Fwenchy toe!” Bryce said.

“Bingo.” Boomer set a plate piled high with a small mountain of French toast on Bryce’s tray. “Mm, smell that cinnamon?”

Bryce made a face. “Cinnina… Cimamin…”

“Ooh, so close, Bryce!” Bubbles gushed. “Cin-na-mon. Can you say it?”

“Cinniminanon?”

Bubbles laughed. “Close enough.”

“Me pease!” Beryl said.

“Such a polite little lady.” Boomer gave her a plate, and Beryl immediately grabbed two fistfuls of French toast and shoved them in her mouth. He shook his head. “Well, she had me in the first half, not gonna lie.”

“Okay, Mr. Meme, here’s your plate.” Bubbles set out their own plates, and the four of them went to town on French toast.

xxx

“Did Mayor Bellum give you a status update?” Bubbles asked. She was seated at the kitchen table with her laptop while Boomer entertained Beryl and Bryce in the living room.

Blossom was as pretty and put together as ever despite this being week three of the state-wide quarantine. She was in her immaculate home office with a view of her framed diplomas on the cold, white wall behind her. “Yes, I spoke to her this morning. She said the latest is that the scientists are close to a vaccine, but they’re still running tests.”

“Greeeeeat, so how much longer is that going to be?” Buttercup scowled at the camera from the comfort of her own apartment in the heart of Citiesville. There were discarded toys and a weirdly noticeable number of socks on the floor behind her where she sat on a beanbag. “I’m literally losing my mind over here.”

“I’m not sure,” Blossom said. “But we have to be patient. Just because we’re Super doesn’t mean we’re immune to the virus. This strain is apparently much worse than the original.”

Bubbles bit her lip. “I hope they can work quickly. I would hate for any of the kids to get sick.”

“Everyone will be fine as long as we respect the mandatory quarantine—” Blossom cut off with a sneeze that turned her entire hand to ice.

“Yeah, you seem to be doing just fine,” Buttercup teased.

“Oh for crying out—my laptop!” Blossom was up, one hand on her noticeably round belly and the other currently thawing.

A commotion on her end ensued, and a flash of red blocked out the picture for a moment. “Blossom, how many times do I have to ask you not to scream in the house?” Brick said somewhere off-screen.

“She froze my laptop!” Blossom hissed. “Hurry, before it does permanent damage!”

“Un-fucking-believable…” Fire crackled in the background as Brick carefully melted the preternatural ice.

Bubbles giggled. “Still having those cold spells?”

“Yes, unfortunately. I thought this time it would be easier since I’m not coughing up fire everywhere.” Blossom glared off camera.

“This could not be further from my fault,” Brick said.

“I beg to differ,” Blossom said, clutching her growing belly.

While they argued, a pair of big, fuchsia eyes crept into view under a too-big, red baseball cap.

Bubbles smiled wide. “Hi, Blaze. How are you?”

“Ready to call child protective services?” Buttercup quipped.

Blaze, Blossom and Brick’s three-year-old son, just stared at the camera. “Mama’s all fat.”

Buttercup howled with laughter. Bubbles shook her head.

“What did you just call your mother?” Brick appeared on camera in all his surly glory and picked up his son by the back of his jean overalls.

“Reeeeeeeally pretty,” Blaze said.

Buttercup was in tears.

Brick glared at his son. His son glared right back.

“You’re goddamn right she is. Go get your book. We’ll read another chapter and let your mother finish her call.”

“Yes, Da!”

Blaze disappeared in a fuchsia flourish, and Boomer came up behind Bubbles with a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, I thought I heard your salty, old man voice,” Boomer teased.

Brick narrowed his eyes at the camera. “I thought I smelled Buttercup’s Dorito casserole, but it’s just you.”

“Fuck you,” Boomer and Buttercup said at the same time.

“That was one time,” Buttercup added. “And only because Butch deserved it.”

Boomer sniffed his armpit off screen and gave Bubbles a worried look. She grinned. “You smell fine, Boomer.”

“Uncoo Bick!” Beryl said, zooming over. Bryce was not far behind.

Brick took one look at them and left the room without a word.

Buttercup snorted laughing as she ate a spoonful of ice cream right out of the pint.

“Sorry about that.” Blossom returned, completely thawed. “What did I miss?” She gasped. “Bryce and Beryl? Is that really you? You’re getting so big!”

Bubbles gathered her kids in each arm and hugged them close, while Boomer leaned over her and smiled at the camera. “So big, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Beryl and Bryce said in perfect, adorable unison.

Bubbles felt tears brimming in her eyes, and she kissed each of her children on their little, blond heads. Boomer kissed her head in turn.

“Hey, why don’t we let your mom talk to Aunt Blossom and Aunt Buttercup some more, okay?” Boomer said.

“Ball?” Bryce said, eager.

Beryl began to crackle with power. “Ball!”

Boomer snatched her before she could manifest something that might blow up Bubbles’ laptop on contact. In his other hand, he generated a catcher’s mitt out of pure, concentrated power and handed it to Bryce. “Sure, we can play ball. Last one to the backyard’s a rotten egg!”

Beryl yelped in delight and took off first, followed closely by Bryce. Boomer waved at the camera.

“Sorry for the interruption, ladies.” He winked and went to join the kids outside.

Blossom was smiling from ear to ear. “He’s so good with them.”

“He’s playing ball. Talk about a low bar,” Buttercup grumbled. She continued to ply herself with ice cream.

“Where’s Butch, anyway?” Bubbles asked.

“Probably jerking off somewhere.”

“Buttercup,” Blossom said.

“I’m kidding, obviously.” She looked somewhere off camera. “Looks like he’s getting the shit kicked out of him.”

Bubbles shot her a bemused look. “Oh?”

“We’re playing heroes and monsters today.”

“Yes, I can see that,” Blossom teased.

Buttercup rolled her eyes. “I’ll play when I finish my ice cream break.” There was a loud crash, and Buttercup set aside her ice cream. “Well, here we fucking go.”

“Think fast, Buttercup!” Brisa shouted off screen.

Buttercup rolled and caught a glowing, green ball and cracked it with her bare hands, releasing the two-year-old trapped inside. Bruce blinked her dark, green eyes in a daze. Her dress was askew and her hair was a mess. There was a stain on her collar that look suspiciously like poop.

Buttercup examined the stain with a calculating eye. Then she licked it.

“Oh,” Blossom said, covering her mouth and averting her gaze.

“Butch,” Buttercup said. “What did I say about chocolate in the morning?”

“It’s chocolate milk, chill woman,” Butch said.

Brisa jumped on Buttercup’s beanbag with a giggle and pulled Bruce close. “Now you’re in jail, Bruce. That’s what you get for stealing the goods.”

Bruce frowned and stuck out her lip. “No!”

“Yes,” Brisa said, and what Brisa said was law because she was ten and wise and knew everything.

“No!” Bruce said again, floating out of Buttercup’s arms.

“Yes,” Brisa said.

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Nooooooooo!” Bruce punched Brisa.

Brisa caught her punch in a fist and pushed back. “Yesssssss!”

“Rawr!” A pair of legs obscured the camera, and both girls screamed in delight. “Must…eat…RAWWWRRRR!!” Butch said.

“Butch, I’m on the phone!” Buttercup said.

“I will eat your phone!”

Bubbles laughed and watched as Buttercup somehow managed to get Brisa and Bruce out of there in one piece without maiming anyone. Butch picked up the laptop and shoved his face too close to the camera.

“Hey, my best bitches. Partying in quarantine?” he said.

“Yes, Butch,” Blossom deadpanned. “No one parties as hard as a pregnant woman.”

“Heh, you’d be surprised.”

Before anyone could respond to that, the camera angle shifted harshly and Buttercup once again filled the picture. “What a shit show.” She retreated to her bedroom and sat on the unmade bed she shared with Butch.

“Aw, it’s not that bad,” Bubbles said. “I think it’s kind of nice spending more time at home.”

“Yeah, if you count learning how to homeschool a ten-year-old nice. I swear, Brisa knows more math than I do.”

“It was always your worst subject,” Blossom said.

“Still is.”

“But Butch is helping, right?” Bubbles asked.

Buttercup scowled. “Yeah, obviously. And her school’s doing this online thing. She’s smart. Like, really smart. I just don’t want her to fall behind or whatever. It’s not her fault this shit is happening, and she shouldn't have to bear the consequences.”

Bubbles and Blossom shared a knowing look.

Buttercup ran her hand through her loose hair. “But I swear, when I get out of here, I’m hunting down those idiot Amoeba Boys and giving a new meaning to divide and conquer.”

“Count me in,” Blossom said darkly. “This time, I’m making sure they stay locked up until we have every possible vaccine permutation in hand so this never happens again.”

“Everything’s going to be fine, girls,” Bubbles said. “Just hang in there. At least we’re not on our own, right?”

Blossom’s expression softened. “Right.”

“Yeah, true. I have no idea where Butch gets all his energy, but he’s up at the crack of dawn entertaining the girls like it’s fucking Easter. Meanwhile, I’m exhausted all the time.”

Blossom leaned in closer to the camera. “Buttercup, you’re not…?”

Bubbles gasped. “Wait, what?!”

Buttercup flushed crimson. “Why do you both always jump to conclusions about every goddamned little thing—”

“Oh my god, you are!” Bubbles squealed.

“What did I just say?”

“I haven’t seen you put away a whole pint of ice cream that fast since you were pregnant with Bruce,” Blossom said, grinning triumphantly.

Buttercup hung her head. “Fuck.”

“Buttercup, this is great!” Bubbles said. “How far along are you?”

“Four months.”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Sure. Pregnancy’s a gift, right? I’m peachy.”

“Buttercup,” Blossom said.

Buttercup pulled at her hair. “Three’s a lot, okay? Not like we planned it this way.”

Bubbles’ expression softened. “Are you happy?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“The only one that matters.”

Buttercup bit her lip. When she looked up at the camera, Bubbles could see the emotion in her pale, green eyes. There was fear there, but there was hope too.

“I get it,” Bubbles said. “Being happy… It can be scary. Terrifying.”

The sisters were quiet a moment, and Bubbles’ truth hung between them. Better than anyone, she knew how sublimely frightening true happiness could be. A step into the unknown, a pleasure so intense there’s little differentiating it from pain. To hold it could be bliss, but to lose it could be to lose a part of oneself. Bubbles clutched her belly and remembered everything she had lost so many years ago, everything she and Boomer almost had, everything that had torn them apart for four long, lonely years.

But.

But it was worth the risk to be happy. To be glad to the point of fear because fear was inescapable, but so was hope. Where one dwelled, the other was never far behind. After everything, Bubbles believed that with all her heart.

“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I don’t know what’s real,” Buttercup said, so softly Bubbles hardly heard her.

Blossom was quiet, her eyes glassy with unshed tears as she listened.

“I wish he was still alive,” Buttercup said, hardly a whisper, almost a sob. “I wish he could know us now.”

Blossom’s tears froze on her cheeks and disintegrated to stardust. Bubbles wiped her own tears and sniffled softly. Buttercup’s wish lingered there, quiet and humble, and they let it sink and settle.

At length, Buttercup’s sniffling broke the quiet. “Fucking hormones. I never cried this much with Bruce.”

Blossom wiped slush from her cheeks. “I know what you mean.”

Bubbles’ heart ached to the point of bursting, but all she could do was smile. “As soon as they get a vaccine done and let us all out of quarantine, I’m throwing a huge baby shower for you, Buttercup.”

Buttercup hastily wiped her eyes and snorted. “Yeah, well, you’ll have to make it a two-fer. Assuming Blossom doesn’t pop before quarantine is over.”

“I am not having this baby in the middle of a pandemic, I swear to god,” Blossom said.

“Home births can be really intimate,” Bubbles said.

“Yeah, intimate between Blossom’s fist and Brick’s face if it comes to that,” Buttercup said. Her frown turned to a sneer. “Actually, I could get behind that.”

A commotion outside drew Bubbles’ attention. Glass shattered, and she reached up just in time to grab a high-speed energy ball before it could open up a crater in the kitchen floor.

Blossom gaped. “Are you letting them play with energy balls? Bubbles!”

“Oh, leave her alone. At least Boomer’s got those kids doing something active on a Saturday instead of reading a fucking textbook,” Buttercup said.

Blossom gave her a flat look. “Blaze is a genius with a very fertile mind.”

“Jesus Christ, don’t ever utter those words in that order in my presence ever again.”

Bubbles giggled. “I better go deal with this.” She indicated the sparking, blue ball in her fist. “I’ll talk to you girls later, all right?”

“Yeah, bye Bubbles.”

“Love you Bubbles, bye!”

Bubbles closed her laptop and headed outside to the backyard of her childhood home, now her own children’s home. “If you were trying to get my attention, it worked.”

Boomer, Beryl, and Bryce froze where they stood opposite each other in the grass. Bryce hid his energy mitt behind his back, and Boomer did the same with his energy bat.

Beryl pointed at Boomer. “Dada did it!”

Bryce covered his mouth like he was the one who had betrayed their father.

Boomer gaped at his daughter. “Beryl! Snitches get stitches.”

“Hey Beryl, why don’t we practice that Sonic Scream on Daddy? What do you think?” Bubbles said.

Beryl shot into the air and vibrated with excitement. “Yeah!!!”

“Nooooo, Bubbles!” Boomer lamented.

She sauntered up to him and batted her eyelashes. “In this house, accountability is sexy.”

He gulped visibly even as his eyes fell to her smiling lips.

“Uh-oh,” Bryce said, covering his eyes to the punishment he knew was definitely coming Boomer’s way when Bubbles took that tone.

“Uh-oh is right,” Bubbles said, kissing Boomer quickly on the mouth and shoving his energy ball at him. “Let’s play some ball.”

The rest of the afternoon was a blur of laughter and thunder as the Super family took to the skies above their backyard and played a friendly game of catch and throw at the speed of sound, and Bubbles let herself get lost in her happiness.

xxx

If you like my writing and these characters, check out my ongoing multi-chapter adult!PPG/RRB fic Beyond This Morning on AO3. Thanks for reading!

#Blues #Boomubbles #Reds #Blossick #Greens #Butchercup #Powerpuff Girls #Powerpuff Girls fanfiction #Boomer #Bubbles #Blossom #Brick #Butch #Buttercup #fanfic #BTM #February Fic Prompts

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shytiff · 3 years

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June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins.

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients.

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning.

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers.

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

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