My quest to learn sewing skills would be a lot easier if 90% of search results weren’t for ~25 Beginner Sewing Projects!~ that are (1) extremely not my aesthetic and (2) fundamentally useless. Sorry to all the many people who are apparently delighted by the idea of decorative fabric pumpkins gathering dust taking up space giving off cutesy hired your grandma as interior decorator vibes, but I guess I’m built different.

Like I swear I’m neither a joyless asshole nor completely immune to the lure of the material, but I have spent much of my adult life living in studio apartments. I like pretty things! But I like functional pretty things and I already made myself one kitchen apron, it’s not like I need another.