#straight. i couldnt think rationally. its as if my brain shuts down when im very very scared.. it was so humiliating lmfao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aosmccoy · 2 years

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as someone whod rather shoot herself than talk abt her feelings and problems to her irls, it sure is an experience to try being a therapist to my family members lmfao. but oh well, as i always say, sometimes u just gotta embrace the eldest daughter/middle child role and be the therapist <3

#also who else will talk my brother through his panic attack.. hes much closer to us his sisters than our parents and my twinie is at work #or at least got off around the time my brother and i started talking on the phone.. so yeah #but god i am so bad at this. i never know what to say especially when someones having a panic attack. he got off the phone for a minute bc #he was getting onto a bus and i immediately googled 'what to talk abt with someone whos panicking' lmfao #ok he wasnt in a very bad state it wasnt as bad as like a year ago for example tbh so he was fine enough to like use public transport ..#but still.#lmfao i think i was more nervous than him actually #but god it was so much worse a year ago or so. one time he called me while he was driving through the bakony (woody mountains with steep #and winding roads) and it was night time so even more dangerous and i had to talk with him until he got out of the mountains god that was #scary and also looking back i was so unhelpful because it was late and i was tired and my brain was tired and i couldnt think of a single #thing to talk about lmfao that was so bad i was so not a help #anyways. now we both did better methinks im proud of us lol especially him #also abt shooting myself rather than asking for help: this morning i was home alone and longstoryshort i thought someone was in the house #and there was that thing last summer when two men broke in and since then ive been afraid of this exact thing and now it happened again (or #so i thought) and instead of calling the police or my dad or something i just left the house LMAOO and sat outside until my dad came home #and reassured me that theres no one in there SJFSJKFHK it was so embarrassing but i was scared out of my mind i literally couldnt think str #straight. i couldnt think rationally. its as if my brain shuts down when im very very scared.. it was so humiliating lmfao #anyways. story time uwu <3 #zsófi rambles

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