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                    — ★ AN ELEGY IN YELLOW.

          yellow flowers always brought nanna to mind. something as easy as the sight of them brought a rare smile to a cherubic face eight years in age but a lifetime behind his shoulders, and brusque hands would uproot them, trample quiet dirt in his eagerness to present their full offering. ❝ they look like you, nanna, ❞ he would proudly declare, as though he had not three, five, many times before. and he was not unaware of the repetition, just like he was not unaware of the way other boys who saw the exchange would sneer at him as if he didn’t see it, didn’t feel it, mistaking who they were.

          but he continued anyway, for the girlish smile that would always be his response, complete with lost baby teeth and he would, without fail, try to push the flower into her hair to measure its tone against hers. that smile — he chased that smile — chased it for a girl he wasn’t powerless to protect, for a sister when sisters were only dust, family when family ruptured at the seams every other night and bled the earth with acid.

                                          chased that smile the world chased from her.

          there was a time in fiana when he’d remembered her birthday a month early and, seized with the childlike urge from previous years, set to work behind her back. on a brilliant morning, he’d laid his presentation in her arms and offered her his own smile again: flagging now, with a muster and hardness that didn’t become the stone in his eyes. a small scrapbook woven together with only a few pages, threaded together with a boyish lack of finesse but full of heart. pressed into its pages lay a collage of yellow — ribbon, paper scraps, dyed strips of fabric, an embroidery of the star-pointed petals of the daffodils that grew beyond the village.

          ❝ it isn’t much, but... happy birthday, nanna. ❞ once again she’d smiled, and in what he’d lost to preserve it, he felt triumph. in that fleeting moment, he dared to dream — that this was where a kingdom began, with the smile of one.

          that book was abandoned in fiana when the loptyrians took her and mareeta away, left behind in a seaside village that was never supposed to have been pulled in. when they found her again, it became clear that the scrapbook wasn’t all that had been lost.

          daffodils grew in leonster, too, much farther north, in wild swaths on the hillsides like a painter had put them there with a wide sweep of his brush. he’d seen them, touring with his advisors to determine the extent of wartime damage. fire and ash and the corrosion of loptyr magic had reduced their vivid color to a wave of burnt sepia: an afterimage in remembrance of antebellum brilliance.

          and she, too, had lost that buttercup hue to a modest saffron, flushed out by the standard of a bolder agustrian red.

Smol hiatus!

Every,, year,, around this time my brain stops getting serotonin from my current main fandom and as a result it latches onto something new andkfnkdnslr

In other words: I picked genshin impact back up and I've been really brainrotting over it. It looks like until twst adds new story content my brain won't really focus on it rn *pensive emoji*

So for the moment I'll be yeeting off into hiatus until something new pops up!

May or may not start a tumblr/twitter for Genshin but idk yet,, I tend to enjoy a fandom more when I'm blind to all the discourse lol. I'll post again where to find me if youre also into Genshin Impact and I do!

You can still find me actively yelling about my fandoms on discord tho, its like the one place I'm still 100% active. I'll catch yall in all the servers I'm in! :>

Until later!