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it-ya-bean · 7 years

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NICK NOCTURNE’S SPOOKTACULAR CEREAL SERIAL FEATURING NYX FEARS, PART 1 OF WHATEVER

Starring @nyxfears and @nick-nocturn

apologies to nyxfears and nick-nocturn

Remington Rendalton, spoopy skellington extraordinaire, was not having a great time. His friend(?) Nyx had suddenly stumbled out of the room after getting a call on his gaudy dragon-shaped phone, and Remington's immobility had prevented him from doing anything but listening to the footsteps clomping down the hall and out of the house. Nyx had gabbled some incoherent explanation of his sudden exit, but Remington barely had tried to listen---he was getting used to this kind of nonsense. Just once he'd like to enjoy a quiet day without silly things happening.

As he reflected on the consistent ridiculousness of his unlife, he heard (with his un-ears?) the back door open. Either Nyx was tromping inside or the house was being invaded by a particularly leadfooted draft horse. The former was proven to be the case as the horror aficionado backed through the door into his preferred filming room. "Remington, golly, there's a---there's a thing!"

"WHAT", the skeleman asked tiredly, "WHAT IS IT, IS IT THE GUY WHOSE NAME WE CAN'T SAY."

Nyx closed the door, looking over his shoulder at Remington. "Guy whose name we can't---who?"

"YOU KNOW", Remington groaned, "THE---I CAN'T SAY HIS NAME OR BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN PROBABLY, I THINK."

The skellydude was surprised by a chocolatey-smooth voice coming from Nyx's currently unseen front. "You mean the Peepee Poopoo Man?"

Eyes lighting up in surprise (or probably because he was talking and they always lit up when he spoke), Remington balked. "WHO SAID THAT. NYX IS THERE A TALKING FACE IN YOUR CHEST. AGAIN."

Turning around, the spook-enthusiast revealed he had a bag strapped around his front which one might use to carry an infant---or, in this case, a cat. "That was one time! Probably! Anyway, I just had to pick up Nick."

"WHAT"

Opening his upper pair of eyes, Nick Nocturne wiggled in his snug kitty-carrier. "There is a crisis, Mr. Skeleton Man. A crisis in cereal-land."

"WHAT"

Nyx held up a box he had totally had with him the entire time, I swear. "Look, Remington, just look!"

Sighing, Remington moved only and specifically his jaw. "I CAN'T TURN MY HEAD. YOU KNOW THIS." As Nyx came around to show him the box, he was nonplussed and also a talking skeleton decoration man. "ISN'T IT JUST A BOX OF THAT CRAPPY VAMPIRE CHOCOLATE CEREAL. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL."

"First of all, how dare you." Nyx shook the box with a sugary rustle. "Don't talk shit 'bout my man Chocula. Secondly, speaking of the Count, he's not on the box any more! It wasn't like this yesterday!"

"OH", Remington remarked, "I GUESS THAT'S PRETTY WEIRD. WHY IS THIS A CRISIS THOUGH."

"Clearly," Nick squirmed more in his kitty-carrier, "he---Nyx, buddy, get me out of this thing---he's in some sort of trouble in cereal-land. If the Count is out of commission, other spooky breakfast mascots are surely in danger if not already being attacked! Boo Berry, Frankenberry, Yummy Mummy, Fruit Brute---just think of what we'd lose if the whole crew were removed from the world!"

"DID YOU MAKE THE LAST ONE UP. I THINK YOU MADE THE LAST ONE UP." Remington went unanswered as Nick continued to wriggle.

"Nyx, why aren't you unfastening the carrier?" He frowned up at his mortal friend.

Nyx pensively fingered one of the velcro straps holding the thing closed. "Because I feel more secure with you like this."

"I know, bud." Nick sighed as his companion reluctantly undid the carrier and let him out. He dropped with all six paws onto the floor, stretching and beginning to preen his glossy fur. "Man, I was cramping up in there---I know this is a tough time for you, but I can't help you very well if I'm trussed up like a tiny baby. This is way worse than this whole Bye Bye Man thing---ah, hell." He winced as he realized his mistake.

<<BYE BYE MAN>> thundered the directionless voice for no reason and to no great consequence.

"Aaaaa!" Nyx yelped in surprise, hiding behind his table. Again, he stated with less enthusiasm, "Aaa."

Nick shook his head, then dispersed into a vague cloud of inky vapor that reshaped itself into a humanoid size and frame, coalescing into a cat-man with all four shirtsleeves rolled and a snazzy waistcoat. "Aaaaaa indeed, but not because of the B---the Peepee Poopoo Man. No, this is a culinary catastrophe on a planetary scale."

"WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL AGAIN," asked Remington, adding "I MEAN AREN'T ALL THOSE CEREALS NOT THAT GOOD."

"It's the principle of the thing, dammit!" Nyx slammed his fist on his table and instantly regretted it, wincing as a tacky plastic skull-goblet rattled. "Ow, why, ow. Seriously, it's a big deal, I mean---Nick no."

"What," Nick glanced up with his upper pair of eyes, the lower set still on the skull-goblet his paw was gently pushing toward the edge of the table. "Don't do---oh, wow, I did do that." The vessel hit the floor with a hollow plasticky doonk. "Sorry."

"SOOOOOOOOOOOO." Remington broke the silence. "ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO CEREAL-LAND OR."

Nyx put the goblet back, farther from Nick this time. "What? Oh, yeah, probably. Dinner first, though."

"Yeah, I can't deal with this on an empty stomach, and I haven't eaten since this morning's Fancy Feast," Nick said as he adjusted his tie.

"WHAT"

~END OF PARTE UNO~

#nick nocturne fanfiction #spoopycat adventures #i should be sorry but i'm too sinful to be sorry

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