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mxrdockromanoff · 3 months

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Summary: You are a Spider-Woman, who has now been very involved in the spider verse when you have met a group of 6 Spider-People, who try to save the multiverse and their lives, and then become involved in a society and a fight between they. At the same time you have to deal with your sleep disorder that turns out not to be a sleep disorder.

Warnings: Mentions and descriptions of sleep disorder, panic attacks, sleep paralysis, death, suicide, self harm.

Author's Note: Well, I must admit that as much as I love the X-Men, Defenders, and Marvel in general, my heart belongs to the Spiderverse and the Loki series. In my personal opinion, it's kind of funny that TVA and The Spider Society are almost the same. And I imagined a spider involved on both sides, please don't hate me, I'm new to this and I don't know much about parasomnia and narcoleptics. If you can give your opinion you are welcome.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

You don't even know how you got to this situation, you can't even remember how you got to this place and you are not even able to recognize the things around you. You look around you trying to process everything there is, trying to decipher where you are right now, you are in what is a sea, it takes you a while to identify what sea it is, it is the Black Sea, you are on the dock of the black sea, you see the magnificent view in front of you, the beautiful blue sky being accompanied by the view of the sea.

You can perfectly feel the breeze on your face, you can smell the aroma of the sand and hear the tides colliding with each other. In fact, the movement of the sea and its immensity have an almost hypnotic effect on you, it is generating that feeling of tranquility and well-being that allows us to recharge energy.

Or that would have been it, if you didn't see two children in front of you, they are playing happily, throwing stones, jumping off the dock, swimming; They are simply having fun like the two little children they are. And why did those children break the tranquility that the sea worked so hard to generate in you?

Easy, that meant that you are not alone, you are not alone on that dock in 1895, you are surrounded by some office workers and some police dressed in black and high technology, you are hearing a fight, where one of them refused to harm that eight year old boy

They want to take him away, hurt him because that child was supposed to be responsible for more than five thousand deaths, but he was only an eight-year-old child. What harm could a boy having fun with his brother have done? You can perfectly hear the dispute of those people, while you are standing, staring at the scene without being able to move.

And one of those... hunters refused to hurt that boy, and instinctively you refused to hurt him too.

And that was, perhaps, the worst mistake of both of them.

Just by making that decision, bad things began to happen, now the lives of those five thousand people were not the only ones at risk, fellow people died. Everything happened so fast and so indifferent and unreal for you that one of them had to kill the child.

You are not able to remember what happened next, what the hell happens to you to forget it, you are just still, stunned, you feel your heart shatter, for the first time in thousands of years, it is as if you have not felt anything in years.

You feel an unpleasant sensation, and it is like a sting, tingling, discomfort or burning. It's a sharp or dull pain, you can't even identify the many emotions you feel right now.

You just have a damn need to cry and suddenly you're crying, so much that your body can't take it and you fall to the ground on your knees, you start sobbing while the people around you walk away as if nothing happened except for one.

It is that man, with gray hair, who refused, who runs towards you, falls on his knees to hug you and comfort you. He rests your head on his shoulder, letting yourself be carried away by the warmth and tranquility of his arms.

“Calm down, calm down, my little baby, everything will be fine, I promise you,” I whisper right in your ear, rubbing your back and stroking your hair.

December 2018

You woke up suddenly, you raised the upper part of your body totally scared, your chest rises and falls in a pathetic attempt to recover the damn lost air, your forehead is sweaty, you are sweating cold, you feel like your teeth are tingling, around you...

Fuck.

Everything is so unreal, you can't identify anything around you, neither the images nor the sounds, even the movements you make, you feel that this body is not yours, you feel that you are taking this body from a person who really wants live his life, You are even snatching away their own thoughts because you don't even feel real yourself.

They most surprising things about all this Is that you feel a horrible weight on your chest.

You know what it means, so you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, hold it for a couple of seconds with the air in your stomach, and then exhale slowly. Over and over again with your eyes closed, being so satisfying to your own soul and body. For a moment you forgot that you are not alone, a long time ago you fell into another universe where you met more people just like you (Only they are not mutants)

“Wow. Are you okay? “,You heard a voice next to you, you turned your head to your side, clashing eyes with two people, it was Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker whom you affectionately called Pete but the rest called him Noir.

You looked around, you're not in that damn place anymore. Now you are remembering the day and the place where you are at this moment, you are not able to remember where you are if you can barely recognize the people next to you, you know their names but you do not remember what relationship they have with you, who they are to you. you. You hold the blanket tightly, it is an orange blanket, the feel of the blanket is soft and quality, enough to protect you from this December cold. You sat down, hiding your face completely embarrassed in your hands. You're ashamed of your panic attacks, most people think it's stupid, I wish they knew how horrible it is, even though you wouldn't wish it on anyone.

You feel a hand on your shoulder, as incredible as it may seem you can feel that he is very worried about you, they both are, they have not even asked you questions, they are just there in silence. And you can feel the worry, after all, you're a mutant, you barely know what your abilities are. You barely remember that you are one of them, a spider, you are Spider Woman. Only unlike them you never used a spider web.

“I'm fine”,you could only murmur these words, you gave them a smile in order to reassure them after your show.

Called parasomnia and narcoleptics.

It is the word that you have grown up with since you were a girl, you have always had many complications with your dreams, because you rarely dreamed, you barely have dreams and when you do it is a matter of time before your brain confuses them with memories, because they are so real that later you feel as if they were memories.

Your parents and all the doctors have believed that you are someone very creative, because according to them, you are capable of crossing cognitive limits, which makes you more vulnerable to these states of confusion.

It may be related to a small section of your brain, a fold, the paracingulate sulcus. As it is less pronounced, they experience hallucinations and are worse at identifying what is real with what is imaginary. And when you discover that the memories are dreams, you suddenly can't breathe, you feel a crushing pain in your chest. Your heart begins to beat as if you were running to the top of Mount Everest. You feel pain in your arms and back, you get dizzy and your mind races, you suffer from panic attacks and sleep paralysis, which you have suffered since you became Spider Woman, but the dreams are worse.

The problem? You don't have either, according to some doctors, some say that you have parasomnia and others that you are narcoleptic, because you are not a sleepwalker and your folds are not less pronounced. For some you are fine, but for others, you are a woman with sleep problems.

"Well, get up lazy",Gwen threw the cushion at you when she got up, with a mocking smile and they both churckled", or you will miss out on Ham's magnificent food".

The blonde raised her eyebrows, because she doesn't love Ham's food, if it were up to her, she would eat a little flag and go buy it for you, but without further ado she went to the kitchen, where the rest or some of them are gathered there, that's when you fell. Taking into account that you are on the couch, it could be that after a pleasant practice full of anecdotes, crimes and Pete's cases, you fell asleep. And that could seriously affect your sleep.

He did not leave your side, instead, he remained by your side like the good companion that he has become for you these days in this new universe for you.

"Come on, go with them. I'll go in a while",you asked him still tired, you're fucking tired, especially because sleeping on the couch wasn't a good idea.

" I will stay with your ",I assure you, he has withnessed how your dreams hurt you these days and he wants to be with you to help you",just don't go like you usually do. So please don't go".

It means that when he's not awake first, you leave Aunt May's house, disappear, and come back a day or four like nothing bad happened. You smiled at him, because unlike the people you met, he doesn't despair, he understands you, they all care about you.

"I'm not going anywhere and if I leave, I'll come back. I promise ",you assured him with your smile.

You hoped that all this wouldn't get worse, you've had enough with your parents dying, along with your best friend and the man you saw as your older brother. Not forgetting that you've been through really horrible things since you were only third, now you're seventeen, soon to be eighteen.

I just wish you hadn't gotten worse.

June 2024

Not even they know what it does anymore, they don't know what else it does, they have tried everything, they have used everything they have at hand, they have had help from everyone and despite the differences they had with the spider society they also tried to help .

They are very desperate, at first they thought that you were simply going to be away for a few weeks but they were wrong, they should have known this the moment you were no longer home. They had to have suspected it in the first second.

You had disappeared, precisely, three years ago. It was supposed to be their meeting, they should have bought some burgers, some pies and sodas to spend the day together.

And it never happened, they never saw you again.

"Nothing?",Gwen heard her father's voice, worried about her daughter.

Since you disappeared you left a void in the hearts of each of them, very affected results when they realized what had happened to you. Peter can even attend to his cases very well without even thinking about you and always wakes up in the early morning as if you were still waiting to speak, Peni turns out that she wakes up at night and can't even compose her dream if she doesn't hear you singing. Miles swears he can hear your singing while he draws or studies, Pavitr has commented that he has seen your figure walking through the busy streets of his city. Gwen was perhaps the most affected, when they realized that she disappeared. I don't take it well.

Because later while she was fighting the Vulture she hit her head and when she woke up, she started seeing Ham but the strangest thing (or perhaps comforting for her) was that you were by her side and now every time she feels frustrated, angry or sad you had to appear, you are there to comfort her.

He got to worry his father a lot about that. He knows that the two were very good friends, it was simply difficult for Gwen to accept that you had disappeared and that to this day they don't have a single clue as to where you went. It was difficult to accept losing another friend.

“Society wants to give Y/n up for dead, especially Miguel ”,she confessed, her biggest concern. She broke ties with society a long time ago and has not even spoken to Miguel.

But the simple fact that many want to leave you for dead, for forgotten is what the gang doesn't think about, they know that you are alive, that you will return. You'll come back to them to hug them and be together, but they've waited so long, it's been three damn years. Gwen is the age you were when you disappeared, it's only a matter of time before Peni has her and being exaggerated, for Mayday to have her.

“Damn ",he muttered, meaning his daughter wouldn't take it well.

"We have tried everything, we have looked for every clue about her and nothing about her, she just left, it's as if out of nowhere there was... ",she suddenly besame silent, not even trying to hide her sadness and perhaps her anger.

Because when Miguel told them that it is very likely that you had died a long time ago, that perhaps while you were sleeping, you were sleepwalking and perhaps you had an overdose there or you were run over or perhaps you committed suicide. He is using your disorders to give a theory of what happened to you.

They were upset, without a doubt, they were quite upset because they know you like no one else in the damn world, yes, you had those sleeping disorders, but you had it under control, you were never a sleepwalker and you did things that you shouldn't and despite your panic attacks , you never tried to hurt yourself or do something bad that affects the integrity of others or yours.

She relaxed, keeping in her mind the beautiful moments that you gave to each one, and she saw you, she saw you from the window, you are simply there, standing, staring at her.

"I like to think that she flew away, I'm sure she's out there somewhere ",she shed some tears, because she continues yo deny that you left, that you somehow left and even said goodbye when you always promised yo come back," I hope. May the rest not forget her ".

George went over to hug and comfort her, being reciprocated by Gwen, crying in his arms at the very thought of you being dead.

He knows his daughter Is suffering greatly because of you. He holds you responsible for it.

It was hell for her when they realized you gone, she couldn't stop crying, she deposited all the anger and sadness by playing the drums ando barely wanted to talk, she just wouldn't sleep. Every time he saw her she had tears om his face and he worries that his daughter (Because she has not even been able to move on with Peter's death), both he and the spider gang and his daughter are waiting for you to come back, in the meantime no one will forget you.

They hope so, that no one forgets you, they won't, others would have forgotten you within a month, but they never will, the spider gang will eagerly await your return and will look under the Stones for any clue that leads to you.

Because to be honest, you were barely known in society, both the arachnid and the world, neither of them had accepted you as one of their own. Because? Why were you a mutant? Why were you different from them? Why are you an unstable woman with many problems? Why did you want to save thousands of lives when you couldn't even handle your own?

It was only a matter of time before in a few years, they would completely forget you, that there was a sweet mutante woman who not only haf spider powers, but you had a beautiful singing, a singing that made people happy, but that in that singing was hidden a rather unstable woman.

What they don't know is that you were not there, nor in another universe from another time, otherwise, you are outside of time. And you're no longer the woman they used to know. And even you are able to remember who you were because he, they, erased your memory.

And that's where Gwen was right, because you're there, you're here, you're everywhere.

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