#sorry to my readers for my lack of object permanence re: ppl liking my shit. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orcelito · 1 year

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that one bookmark is gone and on one hand im glad i dont have to see it anymore but on the other hand im a little embarrassed at the thought of them having seen me have a whole mini spiral about it at like 5 am. like sorry random person ig

#speculation nation #i shouldnt be allowed to make posts in the middle of sleeping times #i wake up all the time while trying to sleep & then i check social media & also my ao3 stats page #usually this is fine but that bookmark note hit Just the right insecurity in me for me to make some pathetic posts about it on my tumblr #like yes i Am insecure about ppl not liking what im doing in the story lately & thinking im taking too long :') thank U for confirming #the reader support afterwards definitely helped me but Man i dont wanna b known as that author that cant take even a hint of criticism #i mean i kind of am but i dont wanna be KNOWN for it ykno #im cool as a cucumber. u can tell. Absolutely the coolest. thats why i go crying to my tumblr dot com when someone says smth that isnt #complete praise for my work.#like on one hand i dont gotta share this online. it's a privilege that u guys get to read it. so i dont wanna hear ppl disliking it #on the other hand i wish i wasnt that pathetically insecure lmfao #in my defense not having an active beta reader has been fucking with my self confidence re: writing #i was a nervous WRECK when posting the last chapter. and the other chapters too but last chapter especially.#life. is so difficult. alas.#sorry to my readers for my lack of object permanence re: ppl liking my shit.#ive had ppl repeatedly saying they love it and it's still not enough #in largest part bc im insecure about that Changing. so with every chapter im like peeking over like 'do you still like my writing...?'#'do u still like my writing pls respond'#honestly bless u readers who have kept up with discacc & continuously comment & offer me reassuring words here when im down #ur enthusiasm & kind words help me a lot. thank U

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