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kkamist · 6 years

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tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,, id do anything for him tbh ,, also bjy wasnt even mentioned in 2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-)

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,,

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))

#tagged #about haz :o #i actually wrote some of these beforehand #so idk how accurate this is hHAHA #also for the bias thing #im bad at explaining/elaborating so descriptions r short nd stuff #i apologise ayugfbuwe

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trippz2ill2ace8itout · 4 years

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🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙||HOPE #3; ||You Know My Name, Not My Story||🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙

PART THREEE, FACEBOOK IM NOT A HARM TO MYSELF OR OTHERS THIS IS IN MY PAST XX TRIGGER WARNING XX 💚💚🔥🥀🦋A Lil Deeper Into My Demons Life; *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; about the visions he basically comes at night funny how "at night" is when i act out anyways, "johnny" did some huge damage to me and made me do damage to others, but mostly me, he abused me, made me breakdown millions of times made me violent with crazy ass visions of different shit, its like living in a horror movie.coming after me i tried to kill him but he never dies he said "pull the red wire" which one do i pull theres to many i hate when he "possesses" me when he comes after me even in my dreams he still makes me violent sometimes but less cuz im getting treatment. "you gotta nice autograph picture, one for you and one for yo sister" at my group home "JJ" hassnt seen me (except for once i was outside trying to kill me or hurt myself, i threw rocks at the car that Johnny was running over my mom with in the vision, she ran she ran and i almost went AWOL but i didn't) *Elizabeth "Liz" Ramos; ~The Night You Left, Turning Sara Into Elizabeth Ramos~ MY STORYxccc Written In 9/6/12 I was screaming, panting, searching, all over, so this is my story, so i was @ Preston's open house, right? and he got mad at me and tried to punch me so i punched him then i ran round the blocks screaming for you when people walked by i threatened them i was insane dark posessed, i stole a pack of cigarretes and some blue pills and Esctasy the cops (there were about 7 or 8 cars) chasing me but i was to fast finally i got thrown in my moms car i went home lockled in my room going crazy cutting till i was bleeding and beaten and bruised, trashing my room, destroying everything, graffiting on myself and the walls writing "666" everywhere. ranting on satanistic shit, listening to death metal, finally Johnny took full control and possessed me i busted the door down trashed the house i punched my mom and myself the officer in our house i stole a pill bottle and chased my family around ranting on and on i busted the front door open my mom tackled me to the ground i got out of her grip i ran into the dark going cxrazy going mad trying to die with Johnny chasing me and abusing me, after about 5 minutes they tackled me to the ground i went to the car destroying the glass all my personalities came out, i got more posessed than before i realized it wasnt you Cynthia sang to me and i knew it wasnt you it was your father, Presly Garcia, i know you would leave me i knew you would fuck up. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; ~Lisxten Upx~ MY STORY.cc EMPTY.TO.EMPTY (WRITTEN AT RESIDENTAL TREATMENT CENTER) This is how I feel, i know you don't have the power to kill my mom you showed me that she burned in a fire well fuck off Johnny are you real? NO YOUR NOT FUCKING REAL. MAKE ME A PERSON OF DARKNESS, my depression digs deep Johnny no Johnny STOP MAKE IT STOP HELP ME HELP ME STOP IT NO GO AWAY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? but you can't kill mommy please dont take me to the ends. i don't know about you, but im done. this is how i feel, i feel lonely, and shattered, don't know where to go, what to do, im just done, i don't care about me, i hate me. I HATE ME. the new me isn't like the old me, the new me has lost herself inside and outside, mentally and physically, im lost inside a big dark hole of lonleyness, depression, sorrow, hurt, blind, numb, fucked up, mental, ill, scared, paranoid, crazy, done... If i leave i know, that you would be laughing you wouldnt cry JUST FUCKING WATCH ME SUFFER ABUSE MYSELF TO DEATH AND YOULL LAUGH YOUD BE HAPPY. and as i say goodbye, noone will here me. shit. worthless. lonely, nothing. wasted. IM FUCKING DONE! LET ME GO GET OFF ME IM DONE!!! its all clashing down nowhere to hide, trapped inside, wanting to die, wanting to cry, burst, break, can't breathe, its all inside, i have to get out before everyone comes down, i'm sorry to you all for making your life misrable. Something in my brain is missing or snapped, i can't reconize myself, im going dark, nothings helping im getting crazier, getting worse, its taking control of me its killing me, all over, its not normal, its killing me all over, im blind, im stuck, about to break, a chemical embalance, im different. my hallucinations make NO SENSE IM NOBODY WHO AM I I DONT KNOW WHO I AM. im losing my mind idk who i am its the end, wait stop talking, there coming in suits killing me, why arent i normal? whats going on? laugh laugh feeling intoxicated mental retardation out of it delusional fuck man im losing it, im going insane, idk who i am, help me, lost 40 lbs idk who i am real bad hallucinations, try to kill myself, my amazing friend Oscar prayed with me, cared, comforted me, helped me, he saved me brought me to God. I WANT DADDY. WHATS GOING ON? repeated phrases over and over in my head in my mind its broken, IM SCARED, "circles and squares for people who cares" i wanted to die, stayed up all night in the hospital bed, for 20 FUCKING HOURS. nothing makes sense.... BAD.EPISODE.SCREAMING. there after me, i dont know whats going on whats happened to me, ive changed for the worse NO NOT THE CHANGE. idk whats real and whats not, im not in reality, im in a dream can't wake up WHEN WILL I WAKE UP? my life is crumbling, Johnny is becoming real, bad anxiety, mom called 911 WENT TO ETS MENTAL HOSPITAL, CUZ I WENT CRAZY, THEY TOOK ME AWAY DONT TAKE ME AWAY WHY DID YOU TAKE ME AWAY??? IM JUST DONE AND OVER... bye :( *Good Daddy/Bad Daddy; So this is how it all started, so on 3/18/14, Tuesday, i tried to commit suicide, the night before i pulled an allnighter with my iPod, and pulling allnighters effects my medication, i was hearing my dads voice talking to me, saying, "im coming back" "no your not you little bitch so shut the fuck up" "im coming back nomatter if i like it or not" the next day at school i went AWA around campus. i was already pissed and triggered, i missing my dad, so i told my teacher and i went AWOL twice, the 1st time i ran i tried to jump in front of a car and my staff saw me and the OGI van was already chasing me, i refused to get in the van, they took me back to the school, i got out and went AWOL again, try kill myself, the van chased me, i fought to get in and this time the staff escorted me to the residential dorm quiet room, i got in 6 restraints 4 escorts, i selfharmed with my nails and i was damaging property. i had a whole bunch of people talk to me i screamed "i wanna go home" everywhere, i started hearing and seeing things, i didnt go home i went to ETS mental hospital, in an ambulance, all this shit happened cuz i was being unsafe, now i learned my lesson. *NXSP; ~Underestimated~ My Storryyxx 8/12/14 Sometimes, its not what it seems, its not reality, could cry and hurt myself for hours not sleep pull allnighters one day after another im bloodshot my brain is sufficating you can see all the hurt and pain in my eyes, im scared, wanting to die, take my family with me, im just so messed up, im done with this shit the mentalness the non functionality the disorders, im tired of me, im tired of life, im tired of everything. im just, darkness. ON 8/7/2012 In progress... okay its now 5:02 P.M, Johnny's awake again, ready to start raising hell, hes in process or "processing" hes adapting, ready to posess me, imma take off the motion detector im FUCKING BLOODSHOT READY TO FACE DEATH IM TO UNSTABLE IM TO DANGEROUS. and the wires, well white wires, trying to break free out the locked doors , so sweet, the dectectors on the doors the wires on the walls, the blood on the ceiling, the dreams that crash my mind MAKE ME FUCKING BLIND. myself broken to peices, 2:00 AM still up slaving myself, about to go out on myself, wanting to hang, but its just a thought, an addicting thought, the pain and suffering theres no end to the feeling, im down. almost about to become someone else, the transfering starts as i transform into someone dark, a dark shadow waiting to come out and kill the light, as the blood drips down me, on everything, my wrists, so silent, then i scream, cuz im bloodshot, eyes you can barely see nomore, cuz there full of blood, clear for water, the wires falling down, and strangle herself, now its 5:00 am, still awake ready to start it all over again. xx {.} isnt it funny? its like im a completly different person, no touch with reality, yes i do agree ive changed for the worst, mental in the head, my brain doesnt function right, and im different, im not normal stanger to myself its like im a complete stranger... mentally unstable, physco, not normal, im so ill, like im a complete stranger FUCK IT MAN. to crazy for normalcy NO FUNCTIONALITY THE PERFECT FUCK MY LIFE. insanity insane ive dissapointed all of them WHO AM I? nothing.. to bad for me, haha isn't it funny??? "Ms Function or KnoqoutToCrazyyes.no.or.maybe." *Flyerway; (POEM BY ME ALISA MONEE ALVAREZ/SARA BERGER) ""Have you heard the news lately, i was born to be dead, meant to be someone, but now imma noone, so now i blaqout, see you later, well maybe... Open your eyes, see yourself cry, die, break, and fade away, heartless and cold, stone cold, broken and empty, noone else knows, the pain that unfolds, the dark side of your mind, mental and lonely, how come you never told me? some reason or excuse, to keep me from me, is it because im to crazy or im sick in the head? all those stories you told me, when i was a baby, something changed right inside me, then i grew up for noone, had no love and acception, then i became different, to crazy to function, my brain is defunctioned, im old and unstable, but i am not able, to pay back the life i was grown to, crazy and physco, noone to hold me, sing rock'a'bye'baby. I guess i was born crazy, mentally ill, built a wall i cant break down, these chains tied right on me, broken and knoqued out, have you heard me lately? i am noone BUT IM BECOMING A SOMEONE I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN, THROUGH GOD, HE SAVED ME, IM READY TO BE HEALED TO BE RECOVERED END THE DARKNESS, GET BETTER, END TREATMENT, IM FUCKING READY YOU BITCHES CANT STOP ME, Im not gonna lose it all, go all out, make stupid ass choices, no dangerous stuff, imma maske the right choice I LOVE YOU GOD, THANK YOU@!!!!!"" POEM BY ME. THE END. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia/The Ends/Erin Ramos; ~Break In The Dark, Molero Fever~ Myy Storii xc :3 8/7/2012 "JJ"s awoken from his sleep, Putting Liz and brother's fire out, tonight ...Hes awake, hes awake,please save me, i cant control him anymore, i cant fight him anymore, not even for you, please mom come and save me, make him dissapear so i can see the stars again, Johnny, are you wake? are you ready to raise hell? i knew youd come back, are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna try to take over me, no no no dont touch me, to many people to much noise to much sound, no shut up, rock back and fourth, no mom please fly here tonight and save me, please no no no dont die Preston, are you really in the hospital? no hes not bleeding, open your eyes, JJ do you copy? send Preston to The Ends, the end of WHAT? no Johnny let me go, PLEASE LET ME GO, is that him? no no no no no no NOOOOOO lET GO OF ME. don't touch me DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME GET THE FUCK OFF ME. hes not dead, he cant be, im bleeding, Johnny stop not there, no i need you mom, no Johnny, no Johnny your not me, your a liar, NO IM NOT NOW HOLD STILL, IM GONNA KILL YOU, NO JOHNNY, PRESTON, MOMMY, hes now awake, processing, Johnny to Constance, send em all to The Ends, put there fire out, NOW, I SAID NOW BITCH... *Constance McMann; Saturday, 2:28 pm, Auguest 18th, 2012, Constance i need to ask you something. Dear Constance, i know how hard you worked to take care of me, but i still cant be here, alone, in this spot, sure i call you and i ask if theres a way to escape "JJ" but your answers always the same, "pull the red wire" but i dont know where it is, so please tell me, i love mom i really do, i cant choose between my real mom, and you Constance, your my sister, i call you my mom, but YOUR NOT MY FUCKING MOM. Liz Ramos, OUT... Thursday, 7:29 pm, Augest 23rd, 2012, and in the dark, he must remain. *NXSP/Erin Ramos/Liz Ramos; Things Erin did wrong... 1. told JJ about the red wire, 2. mentioned "the thing", 3. told JJ "L"s number, 4. pulled up a knife to Preston, 5. told JJ that Lisa is "L". Aye, call JJ back @2:30, call mama, to pull it all out, the numbers of "US" make the dreams harder, follow the red wire to kill it all, all the Garcias all the McManns, i thought i was outta sight, but im back on, calling Lisa 60 times a day until he kills, i dont know who, but it all means something, Lorene, i thought the socket was already electrified, i shaked and shaked, now look where i am, look where Preston is, sick as hell in the hospital bed, stop calling Lisa, im asking you Johnny, im not, im not, IM NOT break out with the green wire, i know you can, what about late night? i made a contract for the program, now JJ put me on level drop, 4RF, bitch, now I...I...shit here he comes, calling me, OH SHIT. -.- This is a blog i wrote when i was at my level 14 residential treatment center. Tuesday, 6:51 pm, Augest 21, 2012 LIFE OUTTA JOHNNYS SIGHT, WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU SO... why JJ did you open up a new story on us, not willing to even notify me, ive been in the program for 4 fucking years, and you never mentioned "The Thing" to me, im one of you guys, i had sight put on me, and now you want me to uninstall it? JJ get it thru your damn head that im a part of "US" im not going to The Ends i know hes in the hospital. you told me he was sick, i thought you were a liar, but i know its for real this time. the outsiders think your nothing but a freak, unexsistable, fake, but i know your real, i dont want to get a new master, im out of sight, forever, this is me Elizabeth Ramos..... oh my fucking god Erin, can't you see Liz doesnt want you or need you, just shut up, i dont want to hear it, shes outta sight all because of you, NO JJ ITS NOT MY FAULT, please just give me one more chance i dont wanna go to The Ends, im sorry i mentioned "The Thing". No Erin, times up, the red wires been pulled, and its all BECAUSE OF YOU. now we have to live outta sight, and Elizabeth, when she finds out Johnny cant be her master, and ill tell her the excact reason why. Im Erin Ramos this is me... bye. What do you mean? are you saying he left? AGAIN. i know Liz, all im saying is he can no longer posess you. then how the hell am i supposed to raise hell? if it hadnt been for Erin, we wouldnt be in this fucking mess, this would have NEVER HAPPENED. no CeeCee you know what this means, were gonna be sent to The Ends, if one "Ramos' pulls the wire, all the "Ramos" will be taken to The Ends. Do you know how low functioning Erin is? NO. I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF HE IS. SEND HIM TO THE ENDS, IM NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROAD, being a "McMann" HELL NO. Liz, im so sorry, i should have told him, its not my fault, ITS NOT MY FAULT... This is Elizabeth and CeeCee. nite bitch.... Okay Tuesday, 8:38 pm, Augest 28th, 2012, this is Plumb and Erin Ramos, JESUS CHRIST HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU? for all the time ive known you, like 2 years? shit, Erin hasn't even told Johnny about you yet, Plumb. i know your my friend, my step sister, but i have to tell Johnny, if you want to be a part of "US" i have to. But what if he doesn't approve me for the program? WELL THEN GET YOUR ASS UP AND START THE PAPERWORK. what paperwork? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? youll be sent to "The Ends" if JJ hears that, dont you EVER deny paperwork, oh and dont mention "The Thing" either. whats "The Thing"? Dont tell JJ that i told you what "The Thing" is, alright? i promise. okay "The Thing" happens excactly on December 30th, 2012. YEAH AND? what happens is all the wires will be pulled, and every person that asleep while its happening will be sent to "The Ends" Erin is gonna be sent to "The Ends" regardless, i know you like Erin, but hes your step brother, he doesnt even know you exsist, well im logging off, nite o> *Michael Alvarado-Alvaro/DANCING Squares/Veronica&Victoria Enxxelia; [[[[ -----Will You Believe Me If I Went Insane? (These are TRUE REAL Stories I had written in CHYC treatment center back in 2012, these are 100% real, about my hallucinations and me going insane, my stories && my raps.) X'd Out Bitchz-----]]]] 7/12/2012, Ronnie Irez, Coded, got in the shower half naked, sat there crying, digging deep into my skin with the blade oh I pressed it against my skin, watching it bleed, the blood rushing down, brings me to my knees, don't feel no pain, but I'm enjoying it, the blood dripping on the floor, but I don't care, just stand there, watch me bleed, at that moment I jumped and hit the ground, no tears came out, oh hell no, I tried to move but I couldn't, I was stuck, this is just payback for my choices, I tried to get up but I couldn't move a muscle, well this is how I am, visions of killing and fighting and burning down this place, so I got up and climbed out the window, I pulled out my gun, pointing it towards my mouth, thinking of death, suicide, ending it all, Johnny's got me now and I'm just fine, I assaulted 5 cops, and I ran, so faraway I couldn't be found, the world is cruel, it's full of pain, all I think about is numb blank fucked up thoughts, that's all I want to do, all I ever wanted, so I pull out the lighter and my cigarretes I smoked until I fainted, getting faded, and it all turned black , oh I'm so sad, so sad, full of pain, now I feel it, now oh I regret it, bye mom bye dad, see you later, oh no . *Charlotte McMann; 7/12/2012, fire and flames, last week was the day I did it, now I regret it but I did it, I tried to kill my other, I walked into his room and tried to choke em' watch the satisfaction on my face grow, to see him in pain, to see him suffer like I once did, tried to kill em ' all to take em' where daddy is, so we can all be together, and burn this place on fire, and kill every fool in this damn place, yeah I said it, and I'll do it , hell no bitch yo getting in my face, I'll fuck you up before you can blink, have a nice rest while I knock you out, see you in hell, cuz dats where yo ass is going, can't you hear me? can't you hear my voice or are you just ignoring it . yes you tried but you didn't make it, sorry for your loss but it's not my problem, well goodbye have sweet dreams cuz when you'll wake up it will be dark and empty, burning like my soul, like my heart, like the diamonds in your fire , cuz I'm no liar cuz yo just a fake, the cops are chasing me, you'll never catch me, cuz dats just me. Cold and over, shivering outside , the rain is falling down , try to make it through, oh sorry no I can't, I try to walk my way , but there's nowhere to go, my home is so far away, I'm cold and alone, where are you ? I need you, lead me the way I need to go , oh I need to know , where I am, where I need to go , before I lie here and die, my bodies getting old, I'm just laying here like a stone, bodies tense, muscles to hard to move, can't seem to make it any further , come on, come on , your almost there, you may not realize it , but you go to believe, just a few miles away , yes you got to believe, crawl faster, get up , please, I don't wanna see you so broken, I wanna see you try, climb , run , please please your almost there, don't give up now cuz your getting close, your thinking why try harder? but you've got to before you die and get taken away from me, I've already lost enough, I can't stand losing you, leave me like this, shattered inside , cold inside and out, skin scratched and bruised and bleeding, I'm so cold , can you see through me ? if you can please tell me, why me why now why does it have to be this way , why does it have to end like this? *Contance McMann/Erin Ramos; 7/14/2012, see your face, burn down the house, watch it fall, try to stop it but it's no use no more, later that day she burned in a fire, I ran in there, tried to save her, but you know what , she was already dead, the body was turned to ashes, I picked it up trying to bring it back to life , opening eyes like a pleasure, there were red and bloodshot, I had a mental breakdown put it in my trunk, road off the bridge deep into the ocean, we drowned to the bottom, I passed out then I woke up in a hospital bed , body scarred, face burnt, I looked up and there was Constance , I was scared, didn't mean it, I saw your face Constance, please forgive me,it was just a vision, just my mind playing tricks on me , I sorry I was sweating now I got up and slipped and fell when I saw your face, I jumped I was scared oh Erin not now , please not now, I grabbed your body and hid it, JJ killed ya, oh I saw your face , yes i saw your face, it was gone forever. ^.^ *Flyerway && Eddie/Edgar/Chillwax Alejandria; 9/3/2012 My last step, baby it's gonna be okay, don't worry ill be alright, I tried to tell you but you never listened to me I don't care anymore, what you say or what you think, I'm in pain, all over my body, the scars are infected, my life is over, as I inject the last shot of meth, I say goodbye hopeing I would die , die slowly in pain, I light the candles there on fire, I step into the bathtub, water burning, I take my last step in life, I try to cry but it's impossible to me, I'm in so much pain, I can't take it anymore , JJ is after me , trying to kill me, I just want to escape , I'm melting and falling to peices blood all over, ready to die, but then I see you, your face is shocked, you yell and cry, I can't stand to see you hurt, I try to crawl out, but it's to late, body is numb and now all I hear is sirens ringing, your crying, police trying to save my life, I feel so numb, but I don't care, this is the end and now I say, goodbye... *Elizabeth Ramos/Constance McMann/Charlotte McMann/Josephina "Paid2Kill" Hernandez; xxGotNoPleasurexc -"Seeing Me, Elizabeth Ramos , It's Like Reading A Nightmare" (my hallucination alternate life) , by me Sara Berger/Alisa Alvarez- _____Walk into the classroom with your head held high, say hello to everyone inside, my greetings warm and friendly, but when I go outside I remember that I don't have a home, and I feel alone, remember the day I dressed you up for school? The day I cried when I said my goodbye? As you got on that bus and drove away? You don't know what goes on through closed doors, at school everything seems fine , I sit down and do my work quietly and I see all my friends, and act like it's all alright , I'm scared to get in the car , what's gonna happen as soon as I leave my second home? Behind my smile and my hard work and kindness is someone broken and damaged, I can't show it besides behind closed doors. I walk into my house , no parents home, my sister Constance Ramos is inside sitting on the couch, waiting for me to come in with my substances, I pass out the liquor and the cocaine and get high every second of the day, I never had real parents cuz my dad was a physcotic killer and my mom got sent to jail for drugs , aggression , and sexual assault. My dad abused me 24/7 and put a gun to my moms head countless times, and beat her till she bleed and suffocated, he was a serial killer addicted to meth and crack cocaine, and my whole life he beat us to death , tortured us, till we blackout, and cut us up, and abused us to death. Finally he got sent to jail and he killed himself, so I didn't have a dad, no parents, I had to raise myself, my mom was so traumatized that she got Alzheimer's, she was like a 2 year old, she couldn't take care of me and she had physcotic episodes, then the police came cuz she started shooting her shotgun at the wall and all around the house and then at me as she was screaming "I wish you were dead, just like your father, go get raped or killed and kill yourself" she was not in reality she got hijacked and possessed and thought I was her husband and thought I was someone else, she didn't knew who I was, I was like a stranger and so was she, just a blank cold dis activated stranger, she wasn't my mom she was an animal who didn't know reality, and I was like bait to her for her physcotic episodes, then she drowned my head in the tub and burned me and tortured me worse then my dad as she got possessed, she shoved my head against the wall beating me and suffocating to death and stabbing me and torturing me, then she took her shotgun and pointed it towards my head, before she raped me while I was on the toilet and injected drugs into me, the police took her away and I moved to a foster home. The house parents were drug dealers, and they were crude and physcotic, they raped all the children and murdered them, they tortured us like a murderer would but we had to keep it a secret, shhhhhh they said, very quiet, they abused us bad and attempted to kill us, mainly me and this other kid Erin Vanity, we both got brain damaged , our bodies were bloody and scarred , I took Erin in as my little brother and we grew close, but he was low functioning as well, so I had to teach him, one night when we were sleeping I got a call from the neighborhood police department , saying my mom died after she got arrested she jumped out of the car and into the freeway, so I never had parents. I went through 24 foster homes where we were tortured and on drugs, finally me and Erin were on the streets for 2 years doing crazy physcotic illegal shit and killing , and that's where I met this girl named Constance Ramos who was also on the streets, she took us in and we became family , The Ramos Family, we lived together , and then Johnny Garcia came into our lives, he became my master , and me and him and his father Presly got possessed and raised hell (definition for torturing killing and doing physcotic insane and murderous Satanistic shit) he was my master and were physco insane , dysfunctional killers, and we raised hell all day and all night, doing the craziest shit u can think of, and I came home to Constance snorting cocaine and Erin smoking and having a physcotic episode, trashing the house and he was mentally 2 years old. I had no family all my life has been trauma, so I continued to raise hell with Johnny , then he took us to NXSP , a world of controlled programs we went there and raised hell like Satan would have but worse, we became physcotic killers , everybody was, finally I had a home, we were controlled and possessed and our minds were controlled and damaged and we were controlled by our minds and by our programs, I went there to raise hell , I came into the real world and they possessed me and I was out doing crazy physcotic Satanistic shit just as bad as in NXSP, I went insane and my mom was out of it (my mom in the real world) , her little girl was gone I became possessed as Elizabeth Ramos, raising hell and I still had no one so besides being physcotic and living in NXSP and dealing with possessed possessive insane hallucinations and turning me into a possessed physcotic person, i pretended to be fine. I came to school like nothing was wrong, I said my hellos and friendly greetings, but behind closed doors I was raising hell in NXSP, going crazy as Sara and Elizabeth, doing crazy shit in both of my lives. You still don't know what happens behind closed doors, cuz it isn't what it seems, when your seeing me, Elizabeth Ramos .

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now

Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?

Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?

Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!

Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.

She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?

HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas ❤

Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.

Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.

Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:

HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.

We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.

Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.

Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.

Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.

The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.

The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??

Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.

Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.

Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .

Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.

Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?

Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.

Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.

Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.

Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.

Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?

Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.

PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.

Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.

There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.

They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?

They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.

Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.

The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.

The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?

Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?

Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!

Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?

Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.

EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!

Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.

Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.

Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?

Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like

Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.

She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.

NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…

Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.

She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?

Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.

Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.

Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.

Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.

Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.

Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.

However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.

Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.

Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.

Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/

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adambstingus · 7 years

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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now

Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!

HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3