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pettyrevenge-base · 3 years

Text

Lie about having COVID to take six weeks off while I do your work for free? I’ll throw an all-office party to announce where you really were.

Mid-pandemic my boss disappeared.

Just as we were gearing up for our most challenging, time intensive, project in the last five years, he dropped off the face of the earth.

We kept working for a week or so without him because everything was virtual and the virtual work world was still so new, we didn’t really need him. We were delegating tasks ourselves and completing things on our own. We spoke to coworkers maybe twice a week.

But some decisions were beyond our discretion, so we could not move forward on those aspects of the project until we received a response from him.

After about 7-10 total days of silence, we called his boss’s boss, who informed our team that our boss had COVID so wasn’t able to work right now.

We took that at face value of course sent him letters of well-wishes and didn’t bother him with work stuff, or ask why he was able to notify his boss but not us.

Three weeks go by. Still not a word. We’re beginning to discuss amongst ourselves whether or not he’s maybe died. We’re terrified and horrified and so concerned. We’re contemplating calling his extended family. We’re sending flowers and care packages to his apartment.

Meanwhile, the project has descended into chaos because no leader was appointed in our boss’s stead, so we are forced to navigate several layers of bureaucracy in order to accomplish most anything at all (whereas in the past he would’ve just signed off in real time.)

Around week four or five one of our coworkers suggests he doesn’t really have COVID but is instead using it as an excuse to take time off. We all jump all over our coworker, asking how he could insinuate something like that, and lamenting about what a tragedy our boss is probably living through. People were chilly to him for days after that.

Week seven. We’re undertaking a letter writing campaign to upper management demanding an acting boss be appointed while ours is recovering. The project is a month behind schedule. We’re all working overtime every day, sometimes on weekends, without extra compensation, just to keep up with the cluster fuck of the boss’s sudden absence.

Week eight. He finally reappears, logging into a morning meeting as though nothing happened. He looks well rested, well fed, and has a tan. Not at all like someone who’s just come out the other side of a six week respiratory virus.

He says something quickly to the effect of “Yah, that was brutal. Glad to be better and glad to be back. Let’s get to work.” But doesn’t want to talk about what happened or answer any of our questions like, “Were you in the hospital?” “What was it like?” Etc.

Fast forward to about four or five months after this. My sister sends me a promo for a fairly new reality show (I’d never heard of it but it’s on a major platform) and says “Isn’t this guy a friend of yours or something? I swear I’ve seen him and you together.”

I watch the trailer for this show, and lo and behold, there’s my boss. Participating as a contestant on a reality TV show.

It did not take long for me to put the pieces together and realize he took extended leave to go on TV (that he knew he wouldn’t otherwise get during this massive project) and lied about it under the guise of a vicious disease that nearly all of us had lost a loved one to.

I sit and stew with this information, unsure of how to handle it. I know confronting him won’t get me very far, but I can’t just do nothing, right? I’m not close enough with any of my colleagues to discuss this with them and trust that they wouldn’t run off and send an all-company email about it.

So I slept on it a few nights and then the opportunity fell right in my lap.

I got an email from corporate encouraging teams still working remotely to plan “virtual social functions” to keep a collegial culture going and to stay in touch.

Among the suggestions were: game night, trivia, and… watch party.

With the premier of the show only a couple weeks away I got busy telling everyone how I’d been meaning to get into this show, and it’s so enticing and exciting, basically laying the groundwork to guilt them into coming to an impromptu virtual watch party off-hours.

I offered to get special shirts made up and send them to each person’s house. Whatever I had to do to get the attention of corporate.

Finally, I sent an e-vite to all my boss’s bosses, and any other members of corporate I could justify inviting without making a total ass of myself.

Because this is entirely virtual, my boss is unable to overhear any of the chatter. He doesn’t realize I’m hyping up this show and he doesn’t realize I’ve planned a watch party for it. I wasn’t inviting him unless he had the balls to explicitly ask about it.

I was hoping he wouldn’t have heard about it at all! Not until afterwards. That was really the only way this could work.

The night comes and I am screensharing the show to a whopping 64 people. A huge chunk of my department. Many members of corporate had showed up because I was the only person stupid enough to buy into their virtual social work party scheme, so they felt pressured to support it.

I was holding my breath, hoping this would go my way, bracing myself for some kind of curveball. But there wasn’t even that dramatic of a buildup. Right at the outset they introduced the premise (which included the contestants being in a covid-safe bubble in an exotic location!!) and gave a brief overview of each contestant.

As my boss was introduced, right down to what he did for work, and I could see people register delight and surprise… then go blank… just before sliding into confusion and rage.

The chat took a drastic turn from “Oh my goodness!” And “I knew him when!” And all sorts of pithy jokes to a brave member of my team (or perhaps one just pushed a tad too far by all the extra hours he pulled in this douche’s absence) sent the message, ”Wait, when was this filmed?”

My audience dropped from 64 to 58 to mid-30s, and by the time the episode was over it was just me and the other 15 core members of the team.

One asked if I’d already known, but some members of the team are very close to the boss, so all I said was “Well I definitely do now.” And wrapped up the call pretty quickly after that.

Perhaps one of the best bonuses is that you could already tell from episode one that the character arc the show assigned to our boss was “bumbling idiot”. He had his true colors on in full display and some production-massaging upped them to the 11th degree.

Boss was fired. My good buddy was promoted to his place. I am an office legend now (especially since no one is 100% sure whether or not it was intentional.) And it was all so satisfying that it was almost worth the dozens of hours of uncompensated overtime that led to it.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

#pettyrevenge #lol #omg

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loveinthebones · 5 years

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Dear J,

You have been on my mind a lot this past week... I don’t know if it is the unrelenting heat, the fact that I spied a Hikaru no Go manga as I walked in the bookstore, or if it is our emails that still sit in my inbox... It is most likely because it is your birthday and I can’t help but think of the picture of you that is years old and buried somewhere in my room, lost but not forgotten.

I have a lot of things I wish I said and a lot of things that time and distance has brought to me but first... Happy birthday. My memory has always been horrible, but you would be in your thirties by now... if I am remembering correctly.

I don’t even know why I am writing this. It has been seven years since we lost communication.

That’s putting it lightly, isn’t it?

It has been seven years (if you want to get technical eight) since we fought and you asked me to make a choice and I refused. A choice that was rooted in much more than that...

I read through some of our old logs. Of course, I did, because again- my memory is unreliable- fuzzy, dulled, and faded at even the best of times. I mix things up and I get things wrong, or I can’t quite recall your tone and the exact words are lost.

In the end... you told me it wasn’t about my relationship. It was about how combative, passive aggressive, and insecure I had become and how my relationship was exasperating that.

I denied it then- that I was making the wrong choices, that I was okay, that I was confident I made the right decision but... I was nineteen. I was still in that house, in a world that forced me to perform: a quick-witted girl who was to be independent, who didn’t suffer from depression... prim, proper, and grown... but I wasn’t.

I was hiding many things. Some that I didn’t even realize until much, much later... Stuff about myself that I didn’t want to confront and that I shrouded in under a guise of religion because I was scared that if I showed that I didn’t believe...

I would be left behind by those who had taken me in, by the people I knew, by the community I lived in.

That doesn’t excuse the hurt I caused.

I didn’t realize until I got a bit older that our age difference was too stark for the period of time that we were friends. I realize now that it was a mental strain on you when you were growing into your own person as well... starting your life as an adult and with all the exhausting, heavy responsibilities that came with that title.

I remember cradling the phone at one of my group homes to talk to you.

I remember being honest about my crush on you and how you said the gap was too significant, but we continued to be friends and you were there for a large portion of my life that was topsy turvy and constantly changing.

I’m sure it was a drain- I was immature, I was defensive, I was stubborn. You were probably also keeping a distance and I’m sure that I wasn’t making that easy because I was a teenager and I craved familiarity, affection, and attention.

I did trust you more than I trusted a lot of people during that time and I loved you- I loved you because you were my best friend and someone I could turn to when I wanted to talk.

I wanted to talk with you. I enjoyed talking with you.

We chatted about things- both important and inconsequential, but I was angry, frightened, and confused during that period.

I was unlearning some things I had learned from my earlier trauma and adapting new techniques to deal with the expectations and image I was expected to hold.

I look at her (not them- not yet) and I can’t help but sigh.

She was struggling to walk the path that was being laid out and to develop on her own person in an environment that pushed her away from the unruly forest on either side. She would look at the trees with longing but kept on walking.

Always walking.

She wanted to believe that she was doing the right thing- say the right thing- choosing the right thing and so she broke- I broke the initial request you had of me: There would be no contact, unless I left my boyfriend.

(I didn’t want to choose so I didn’t, I refused, and that boy? That man? He still sits beside me. I won’t say it was easy, or that we haven’t shattered each other’s hearts at certain points but we have grown and learned together. It was something I had been uncertain of when I made the call, but I don’t have lingering regrets about that.)

I messaged you and needless to say: it didn’t go well. The request became permanent and... here I am, seven years later, writing this letter that you will never receive.

You know... I still hold a lot of hurt from that time. I have a lot of guilt but I am not typing these words to poke at those wounds, to mourn a bridge that I burned, and a friend who left.

I am here to say that... even after all these years: I hope that you have found your happiness. I hope that you found your Kana... that you found the answers to the questions you had been struggling with when we parted... that you were able to find, or make your own, path to whatever it is that your heart desired.

I wonder if you are still teaching sometimes.

I wonder if you ever got that comic written, or drawn, or printed.

I wonder if you ever had that talk with your dad about what you actually wanted versus what he expected.

I wonder, I wonder, I wonder but I was not a good person to have in your life and as much as that hurt- as much as it hurt to not have you there anymore, or to hear that... I wanted to say I’m proud of you for making that choice.

You don’t owe me anything.

You don’t owe me an explanation.

You don’t owe me reconsideration.

As much as I think I want those things, in these times I look back... You made the best choice for you and as your former friend... I am happy. I hope that the decision brought you peace and I will continue respecting it but... I also need to let go of this heavy weight in my chest.

I was in the wrong, I made mistakes... but I was also young.

I am not the same anymore. That is the truth- honestly. Your friend is dead and gone but... I am also not the same person from seven years ago.

I will always hold affection for you. I will always care but I spoke some words that I shouldn’t have... I shouldn’t have professed that level of love because I couldn’t offer it. So, I will say this:

I hurt you. I am almost certain I hurt you continuously and it was a struggle.

It was exhausting, painful, and something that you couldn’t handle... and that’s okay.

You deserved better than that.

I am sorry that I put you through that, but I hope you continue to be strong and walk away from people and circumstances that hurt you and while you will never get this and I don’t expect anything of you... I need to forgive myself for this.

For me... not for anything, or anyone else. I have carried this long enough and I will never forget it but I need to leave the pain behind so I can grow as well.

I hope you understand.

Thank you for the support you gave me.

Thank you for the advice you offered.

Thank you for the time you gave me.

Thank you for doing what you could and thank you for walking away when you couldn’t, or didn’t want to continue.

Thank you for being you... I hope that this birthday is full of fun, that you are surrounded by family and friends, and that you are smiling.

Sayonara, J.

I wish you well.

Sincerely.

-From your former friend

#This is a very personal post which is why it is under a cut #The Letterbox #Kat speaks #Ambrose speaks #Personal #I will be used The Letterbox tag if I post any thing like this again

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mysmessmistake · 7 years

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How about a really intimidating/rude teenage MC? Y'know, a teen that's built on angst? That swears a lot? (But they're not all bad, they're just like that when they first people people? Thanks

Everything is platonic, no romance here. Also, there is A LOT of swearing so just be aware

Yoosung

unbelievably intimidated

Kinda glad he isn’t the youngest anymore

But honestly??? You don’t act that young

You act like you grew up on the streets… in the rough part of town.

When you first met, he thought you might be dangerous

“Are you a dangerous person?”

“I will be if you keep acting fucking stupid”

S c a r e d

After he got to know you… he was still scared

He thought you’d be like Rika… and then you weren’t…

“You’re nothing like Rika”

“No fucking shit, I’m MC not Rika”

You ain’t having none of that

After knowing him for a while, he learnt about you and your past

Suddenly he’s the protective big brother

“Yoosung I could put you on your ass in three seconds I don’t need you to protect me”

Asks you on advice on being more brave, and on self defence

“MC! Tell me stories about your gang member days?”

“Gang- what the hell Yoosung? I’ve never been in a gang!”

“That’s what Seven told me!”

“Sevens a fucking liar I’ll cut him if he makes up bullshit like that again”

Oooooookay

Avoids believing anything Seven says

When he and Seven suggest going to scope out Mint Eye

Boy howdy were you so not okay with that

“Have you ever been taught anything ever; you don’t go to the fucking place with the bad people”

You knew that if they went there, either they’d get hurt or you’d be dragged into more BS

Of course, Yoosung went anyway because-

“I’m older than them! I can make my own decisions!”

And then he got hurt

“Maybe they were right..”

After the RFA party, MC sees Yoosung as a younger brother she needs to protect, much to Yoosungs embarrassment because it should be the other way around

You go to him when you have problems with school

And he goes to you when he has problems with his masculinity…

Jaehee

at first she’s very concerned that you are here to hurt them

“How do we know we can trust you? It would make me feel better if you told us a bit about yourself”

“I really don’t care how you feel so fuck off”

Confronted and offended

But this isn’t the first time she’s been spoken to in a very disrespectful manner, she did work for Jumin after all.

After she got over her initial thoughts of you being dangerous, she became very… protective

In a motherly way

“Are you attending school regularly? Who do you live with? Do your parents know where you are? Can you handle the responsibility of the RFA?”

Whoa calm down

You are fond of Jaehee because of how much she cares for you, you weren’t shown that when you were younger

You threatened Jumin every time he brings up something else to add to Jaehee’s work load.

“One day Jaehee is going to quit and you’re going to realise how fucking useless you are without her and you’ll try to hire an assistant as good as Jaehee but your efforts will be futile because Jaehee is the greatest good you’re ever gonna get”

“MC did you just quote The Incredibles?”

“Shut the fuck up Seven or I’ll shove your face into a blender”

One time, when you were sleep deprived on groupchat and completely getting ready to pass out, you accidentally called Jaehee Mom.

“Get some rest, MC, the party is coming up and you don’t want to be too tired to attend”

“Thanks Mom”

You logged out two seconds after, and Jaehee was completely confused

She also felt bad, that you hadn’t had a good enough mother figure and you considered her of all people as your mother

You also got shit from Seven for it the next day

Until you threatened to shove his keyboard so far up his ass he could type with his rib cage

He left you alone

Zen

Realises you’re not to be messed with straight away because of the very first thing you said

“Maybe it’s a beautiful woman!”

“I’m a fucking kid you fucking creep”

Mental note: do not fuck with

He’s met people like you when he was younger and they are terrifying to be on the bad side of

Though, when you joined the RFA, he felt like a bit of his reckless youth was coming back to him

You remind him of himself when he was your age

That kinda scares him, because he did not do good things when he was younger

He hopes you don’t go down too bad of a path…

“Stay on a clear path, Ok MC?”

“Zen I’m a reckless teen I’m not about to go snort cocaine off a stripper’s ass and join the Mafia”

Becomes the protective big brother

He’s better at it than Yoosung

But you still don’t really need it

And the fact that you can handle yourself is shown when Unknown breaks into the apartment you’re in

Everyone panics when they’re hear the news.

“Oh my god MC is a child and she’s about to be kidnapped how will we live with ourselves?”

Suddenly, you message the groupchat

Everyone freaks

“MC!! What happened are you okay??”

“I’m fine”

“What about the guy that broke into your apartment??”

“I hit him over the head”

“With a frying pan”

“I hope he isn’t dead…”

MC PLEASE

He wasn’t dead, but he had a very bad concussion

Zen comes to you when he’s playing a role that requires him to act badass and like a jerk

You’re kinda offended, kinda honoured

Jumin

Nope

Not happening

You’re a kid, you can’t run an organisation! Seven, take them away

“Since MC is so young they’re probably useless to the RFA”

“Excuse me twinkle toes but if I can take on three guys at once that are all twice my size with guns I can handle emailing a few people”

Wait you did what?

After getting to know each other, Jumin begins to offer to pay for everything

“MC I noticed you haven’t yet paid your school fees, would you like me to take care of them

"Jumin what the fuck how did you know that”

He treats you like any other person, but with a little more caution since he knows you could totally mess his shit up

When you get 30+ people to attend the RFA party, he is thoroughly impressed

“Perhaps you could work for my company when you are older, MC”

“Go to hell”

“Didn’t think so”

You and Jumin have this weird mutual friendship

While it’s weird for the pair of you to hang out with someone who is almost ten years older/younger than you, you enjoy each other’s company at the RFA parties

That’s probably because he doesn’t beat around the bush

And you’re not afraid to speak your mind

“I’m thinking of having a photo shoot for Elizabeth the Third, what do you think?”

“I think your emotional attachment to this cat is because you weren’t loved enough as a child and now you cling to what you can force and trick into loving you and staying with you against its unknowing will”

Jesus MC chill would you

Jumin won’t admit it, but he’s proud to see you grow up and start to take on the world in your own unique way.

Saeyoung

well that’s not what he was expecting to see on the security cameras

You looked like you’d just stepped out of an action movie

Jokes about your age in chat a lot

“Wait, you’re not supposed to be this young!! What are you doing here?”

Also, acts shocked every time you say something rude to him even though he’s use to it

“I should live off HBC for the rest of my life!”

“I should burn all of the HBC in the world in front of you and then live off your tears”

Yikes

He treats you like a little sister, but he’s the annoying kind of brother that sets out to embarrass you

When things start going downhill, he tries to push you away so you can remain alive and well, and graduate high school and have a life

“You shouldn’t be friends with someone like me, MC, I’m very dangerous, I’ll get you killed”

“If you really think some mysterious ass bullshit like that will send me running for the hills you really haven’t learnt anything”

You and Vanderwood get along swimmingly

It’s like Vanderwood meets Mini-Vanderwood

Saeyoung questions if you’re secretly siblings and Vanderwood was taken away before you were born

Because of your badass skills you managed to make sure that no bullets hit Saeyoung, which means he never passed out and he could stop Saeran from killing V

Hooray for Badass MC

He’s glad that someone can counteract his jokes with sarcastic comments or funny threats, and not just calling him stupid all the time

“God 707 is here to save the day!”

“May everyone pray to a different god then”

“I haven’t slept in three days”

“Really? Judging by your looks I would’ve guessed three weeks”

You two are very good at throwing insults back and forth

He considers the fact that you might be more dangerous than he is

feels so bad

Feels horrible

He feels so, so bad that a kid was wrapped up in this

“I’m deeply sorry MC, I cannot begin to express my apologies for you getting dragged into this”

“Listen dude you apologise one more time and I’m gonna throw up okay?”

He tries to avoid you because he feels so guilty

He avoids you all the way up until the moment you set foot in the RFA base with Vanderwood and Saeyoung

As if he didn’t feel bad enough, you save him from being shot by pushing him out of the way.

Then he starts to apologise again

“I’m so sorry you were dragged into such a mess-”

“For the love of fuck V, shut up”

He smiles

He’s like the cool uncle that’s always high

Except V doesn’t do drugs

You think…

Either way, you and V have a pretty chill friendship, you only see each other at the RFA parties, or if another RFA member has decided to get everyone to hang out

You quietly sit in each other company, not bothering one another

You totally swear him out for not getting the eye surgery

“Listen you fucking moron, I get you loved Rika but she hurt you so bad that you soon you won’t be able to fucking see, and in case you’ve forgotten there are six other people who want to see you happy, and don’t want to see you with a walking stick or a guide dog. Not to mention your entire fucking career is based on being able to see, so for the love of fuck get the surgery”

You were very convincing

You go to him for a lot of life advice because he seems pretty wise

Unless it’s relationship advice

That should probably be left for Zen or something

He still feels guilty that a kid got thrown into this mess

But you reassure him in a very forceful way that it’s not his fault and he needs to calm down

Saeran

“Rika you made me lure a child what the fuck”

He didn’t know you were so young, you looked older, like you’d been through some shit, so he didn’t question it

But while monitoring the group chat he noticed you mention something about being in high school

high school?!

Still…

he trusts his leader

When he breaks into the apartment to kidnap you and force you to join a cult have a little chat

He was not expecting you to round-house kick him straight in the face and knock him out

When he came too his brother was there and it all went downhill from there

When you guys were at the Mint Eye HQ, he threatened you to stop being so difficult

You guys had a contest for most intense stare

This was cut off by the Rika fiasco

After all the jazz with Rika, and now that Saeran was safe and secure with Saeyoung in the bunker, the two of you realised how alike you were

You guys acted like twins, more so than him and Saeyoung, you liked the same music, you both insulted Saeyoung (although your insults didn’t stop there) and you both swore like you’d just stubbed your pinkie toe on a table leg

You ever expected him to say anything, or act friendly towards you

And he never expected you to ease up on him since he’d been through a lot

The two of you insulted and half-argued a lot

“Give me the remote, MC”

“You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands you fucker”

“That can be arranged”

Everyone is a little worried you guys aren’t joking

You were possibly the only one that could intimidate anyone more than Saeran could

Yoosung and Saeyoung often had debates as to who had the worse death glare

“MC’s stare has the fury of a thousand suns!”

“I will throw you into the sun a thousand times if you do not shut the fuck up right now”

Eventually Saeran apologises for trying to kidnap you, and for tricking you, he truly didn’t realise you were just a kid.

You forgave him but warned him if he tried to do it again you’d make sure they never found his body

He thinks that’s fair

#mystic Messenger #mystic messenger headcannon #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger saeyoung #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger jaehee #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger saeran #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger zen

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thehobbblog · 7 years

Text

Entry #25

It’s gotta be getting on a month right?

Twenty five of these, generally I do them every night. Sometimes two in a day, but other times I forget to do them at all. Things got confusing in the halls, and I’m not good at math. I can’t even judge time by facial hair now that I’m cleaning up.

It has to be about a month at this time. Shouldn’t I have seen something from my parents? An email asking how I am, or a Facebook post about a reward for finding me? Fuck, a news article that they died in a plane crashing coming to get me but something.

Who am I kidding? We both know why Mom and Dad wouldn’t want to talk to me anyway. This extended vacation of mine is probably a relief to them, the longer the better. Who gives a shit?

This isn’t like me, I used to be the chill one. Voice of reason, very type B. Ending conflicts, mediating things. Not starting shit and passing judgment. Now I’m finding shit to be mad at, and I can’t tell you why. I’m just so irritable all the time.

I don’t know what it is. Maybe this is just who Hobbs is when he stops getting his way. I like to think I’m not that type, but the evidence is stacking up against me. I don’t know how many more confrontations Weylinn and I have, before I finally break his nose. After that, I can’t be the good guy either. I’m just a bully who broke the Mage’s face because he’s too stupid to talk through a dispute.

I could use “the excuse”. The same line every abusive parent, angry drunk and shitty boyfriend feeds to their loved ones. “No, it can’t be me. It’s not my fault. I’m a good guy, it’s just this shitty world.”

I’m working really hard to be above “the excuse”.

This is what I was ruminating on for most of the day. We made money giving the hammer to the blacksmith, and I spent my share getting my sword a bigger handle. It’s odd how mundane that sentence is, I almost forgot that I’m a fucking swordsman. People train years to do the shit I do, and I can see why, it’s really fun.

After getting it back, and practicing it’s not too much different. It takes a little more muscle to move around, but it hurts more. I’ll feel better if I can just make the bad guys hurt more.

In addition, Weylinn had time to tell us about what he wanted to do next. Stuart had time to practice intimidating the shellers. His choice of time wasting was more fun.

Weylinn was trying very carefully to choose his words in such a way to get us to agree with something we obviously wouldn’t want to. He was talking about a “Lead” he had, where they would meet “Someone” in the direction of “Somewhere north”. Any attempt to get him to elaborate was met with very hostile demands of “What, do you have a better idea?”

The guy fancies himself a dark horse, but he’s a fucking idiot. You realize if you just told us “I want to go meet with someone shady in the desert, you want to come?” we probably would have agreed. We’re all for helping him do mage stuff, it keeps us alive. It’s like he’s going through extra effort to get us paranoid.

He also told Geheim not to tell us anything. I don’t know that for a fact, but thanks to Anna I know the face Jules makes when she’s dieing to tell you something, and can’t. So yeah, I’m not happy with him. Whatever he’s doing, he should be honest about it. We’re supposed to be a team. The only reason he has to not tell us is if he thinks we’d get upset with him.

If he’s hiding things out of fear, that means I might be getting to him. He’s still doing cowardly, probably terrible shit. But he’s understanding that there are consequences to his actions. Doesn’t seem to be helping, and I’m not sure it’s what I want. This team isn’t going to work if we all fear and distrust each other. I don’t know what to do about it.

We get our things, and leave the Jewel again. The same heat, the same sweat, the same canteen and the same sand in my mouth. Maybe I’ll get used to this. Deserts were always cool, Lawrence of Arabia was a great movie. It’s fucking hot, but I don’t mind a little sweat. Stuart seems fine out here. It’s nice.

We were marching for quite some time, and the night came. Just as the starflowers go over the horizon, you get a few hours of dim light. You can see without squinting, it’s not too hot. I like it, if not for the shifting shadows of possible dust things. It was about this time, where we were setting up camp. I don’t remember who saw him first, but we found the depressed Devily.

He was just staring at something, and it was too dark to see what he was looking at. I start rushing to catch up with him. Say hi and all, and Weylinn stops me. He wants to check the area for traps and deception. I let him do his magic tricks, and he reconfirms that there’s nothing to worry about.

So with his permission to do exactly what we wanted to do earlier, we approach the Devily. Who starts reciting poetry. A lonely little thing, about traveling the desert. The narrator meets a beast, who greets him as a friend. The beast is eating his heart, and is oddly complacent about it. That’s more or less the poem.

I thought I recognized it at the time, but I read so much poetry in school it was hard to remember. A quick Google search “Heat, bitter, eating poem.” and it confirms I’d read it before. Stephen Crane, an American realist wrote it ages ago. I’ll save you the lit-crit, but it’s a touching little thing. Either about how God sees man abusing their free will, or how the rational part of your brain confronts the rest of you or whatever else you put into it. I don’t know how the Devily got his hands on a relatively low-key American poet, but I like having other people down here that care for arts.

The reason he was out doing poetry night in the middle of the fucking desert, was shivering in front of him. A Devily had burned, and laid amongst the wreckage of a raided caravan.

There’s no way of knowing who it is, or why it happened. Maybe the caravan’s owner had been raided and left for dead. Maybe a raider was ashamed of what they did to the caravan owner. Maybe some Devily ran away from all their responsibilities, and almost starved to death. Either way, it left a shivering, naked wretch crouched alone in the sand. Which is I guess what prompted the Devily to remember the verse.

We talked about it for a while, what it meant to burn and what to do from here. Some of the group began searching for bits of mitral armour or a bow, but I’m fairly sure it couldn’t be Alice. If Alice was going to be consumed with her sins, it would have happened with the Butchery, or sacrificing Caramel’s dad or even just carrying around Violence. We might find her, insane and sinful. But her greatest flaw was not her conscience.

Sorry I’m having a hard time staying on topic today. I’ve got my brain all scrambled.

The Devily is deadpanning, as normal. Says he had been standing there, for quite some time. Just thinking of what to do with “her”. Leave her in the desert, to starve. Take her to the nearest town, to waste. Maybe just try to put her out of her misery so he can die doing something technically noble. I don’t know what his plan was.

Living like that, it can’t be fun. Like, clearly they’re in pain. They have half a head and energy bursting out of satanic symbols burned in their skin. They’re stuck halfway between being a mindless beast and a living gravestone; because every time they are seen, people start theorizing. Oh, I wonder who that was. I wonder what they did. I wonder what they feel like. I wonder what happened to make them burn.

They don’t have the sense to know they’re being treated like this. At least we think. They’re either reliving whatever made them burn, or just reacting on instinct. I dunno. Just looking at her makes me uncomfortable. Apparently, they do this when the sins of the world are just too much, and they can’t take it anymore. The Devily made it sound almost voluntary. Which makes him a bit of an oddity. If he’s depressed enough to kill himself, shouldn’t there be a similar thing? Maybe the reason he hasn’t killed himself is the same reason keeping him Devily. It’s hard to tell. Anyway, we just watched the thing for a while and the Devily asked us for our opinion. Immidiently fucking Anna turned the question around and asked him for his input. He did the sassing for me on that. We talked about the philosophy on it, and I gave the standard answer. “Life is always protected!” and all that. That’s what I’m supposed to say right? A Paladin—ex Paladin— who lost a loved one to suicide. I’m supposed to wage a war on the concept of depression or something.Star touring schools and talking about how therapy is the best. Fuck it. I don’t even know whose expectations I’m trying to live up anymore. I’m actually glad I’m keeping my own log, so I don’t have to rely on King telling my story. I am curious to what he’s saying. I wonder if I’m as much of a bitch in his story as I am in mine. I wonder if we’re going to see the Berry Golem, and I wonder what I can squeeze out of him in exchange for all the events that happen in his absence. He’s gonna want to see this. Anyway, eventually the Devily makes up his mind to guide the burnt one. He then asks to join us. Well of course he’s going to fucking join us. We’re down someone, we need the extra hands and we fucking owe it to this guy. You don’t get to have someone’s spouse killed and then deny them anything. Weylinn didn’t see it that way. He wasn’t sure if we could trust the Devily. The guy with nothing left to fight for, who cannot sin or deceive us. Weylinn thought he couldn’t trust him. Avram pointed out that he can’t be trusted because he looks like the devil, which is probably racist. Either way, Avram has a demon inside of him, so he’s not exactly in the best position to pass judgment. Anna agreed that we should take him on, and I’m glad I’m not the odd one out. I guilted Weylinn, because of the conversation we had earlier. Geheim promised to make sure he acts more nobly, so I dared him to go report to Geheim that he wanted to turn these two away. Over mistrust. Honestly, the only reason he has to slit our throats is pure spite for having his wife killed, and at that point we kind of deserve it. It’s decided he’d join us, myself and Anna taking the blame if he turns evil on us. He begins to order the burnt one around, and she followed them. I don’t know if all Devilys have this power, or just him. I do remember the Enforcer in the Daredevily settlement took care of burnt ones. They sit by the fire and had something to eat. I didn’t sit by the fire, I didn’t care to. I could see it from where I was sitting. I was happy on my dune, looking out over the sand. I’ve brought it up before, but I’m probably going to die here. I guess if I’m going to have a choice about it, I should get around to deciding how I want to go. Things would have been better, if I died a Paladin-in-training that everyone liked. Now if I die I’ll be a failed jerk, bulling everyone around and giving lectures. I don’t think I want to die fast, and I don’t think I was die easily. I wouldn’t mind dieing painfully if it meant doing something cool. So yeah, I cried a bit. I can claim sand got in my eye, or whatever. I just don’t understand what’s happening, or why any of it is happening. I’m being told on all sides what’s happening is out of my control and doesn’t matter. But then I get blamed personally for what happens, and the consequences are unbearable. I’m just trying to do good out here, but either I’m not a good person, or we’re all not good people. I have to double down on making everyone be better, but I have to do it without being a bully. I can’t stop the headache. I tried writing some songs down, but it didn’t help. This whole situation is pain. I gave up and started rummaging through my bag, and found the bunch of letters from Papa’s. They made me feel significantly better, and it’s hard to explain. Just comforting, you know? I miss him already. Stuart got too hungry to wait any longer, and got bored of intimidating the sun back over the horizon. So he came over to see me. He chirped, I chirped back and we chirped at each other until he got frustrated and tackled me. We both fell off the back of the dune, and tumbled into a pile on the other side. I tried to tickle him, he tried to slobber on me. My idiot bug and I have a great time. I hope I can go a while longer without seeing him bloodied. He’s too good for it. Edit: Addendum The night went absolutely horribly, by the way. A sandstorm moved in, and we had to bundle up very quickly. IN addition to normal sand problems, the sandstorm was full of dust ghosts, moaning and bumping into the caravan. Stuart and I bundled up in wool and sweat through the night, but we made it out. Nobody seemed to get infected, and now I’m even more pissed off about whatever Weylinn is bringing us out here for.

In the morning, we didn’t speak much. Avram lost the fucking ring in the sandstorm, like an idiot. The Devily and the burnt one were kicking, and helped us set off. We move on.

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