Considering we know plegia isn't a landlocked country, I've always wondered how the sea would factor into their culture and beliefs. Are there sects of costal grimleal who worship Grima as a sea serpent? Maybe something similar to jormungandr seeing as many grimleal view Grima as an 'End-Times' being. Considering you are the plegia headcanon expert in my eyes I'm curious if you had any ideas on how the sea would factor into the plegian culture.

Now, in fairness, I don't think that most Grimleal view Grima as an end-times being. This is very much a personal thing, but I've gotten really attached to this idea that the majority of Grimleal view Grima as a guardian deity, a protector who kept them safe and was killed by a foreign power (after being driven to despair and rage). With that in mind, they don't look to Grima's return as the end of times, but as an end to their long persecution at the hands of those who took Grima's life in the first place. Even Validar, I think, isn't trying to raise Grima to end the world: he's trying to raise Grima because he wants to leash Grima's power and use it to get everything he wants, from the destruction of Ylisse to full control over Plegia (and the world beyond, though he doesn't broadcast that). I've always seen Validar's motivations as entirely selfish; the rest of Plegia, though, just wants the assurance of safety that they've been missing for a thousand years.

As for how the sea factors in, I've always really liked the idea that there's a lot of cultural differences throughout Plegia based on location. There's the desert, which thrives through strong communal bonds; and there's the sea, which thrives thanks to their proximity to the sea and access to maritime trade. They're all bound together by their shared faith, but they stress different aspects, have different rituals, and even different architecture: a lot of desert temples are actually subterranean, hidden in the sand because of their historic conflicts with Ylissean invaders; the coastal temples are not hidden, though, since invaders have never made it across the desert, so there's not that historic need for concealment; however, both are open to the sky at the top as they await Grima's return to the heavens.

Coastal communities don't necessarily worship the ocean, but they definitely treat it with great respect, knowing how dangerous the waters can be. The surf can get particularly violent in the storms, given the prevalence of cliffs along that coastline, so most communities are built well away from the edge of the cliffs; however, there are sheltered areas that form natural harbors, and these support thriving communities established closer to the water's edge. Lighthouses are also common around particularly rocky areas of the coastline, to safeguard lost vessels. There are doubtless prayers common only in the coastal areas invoking Grima to ensure calm seas or to quiet raging storms, and talismans made with shark teeth and seashell are common compared to the bone and feather constructions in the desert.

With all that said, though, the coastal communities definitely have a slightly different view of Grima based on historic accounts. While I still hold that Grima is a magivore, they can and still enjoy eating physical food, though that's hard to come by on land with their inability to land and take off comfortably and the general absence of large enough prey. The sea is another matter entirely, though: there are probably records of Grima flying out over the sea on occasion and skimming that toothy maw through the water before flying back, bringing with them a rain of wriggling fish falling through the gaps in their teeth. Commence impromptu feast day.

Marriage

July 18, 2018, Sunday

At Irvine Spectrum Center

Years ago when I was still with that Chinese church, during a Bible study one guy, out of nowhere, said that the notion of arranged marriage is not so bad. Well, the unspoken rule of the church is, when someone says something outrageous or controversial, just let it pass, so nobody really opposed him, probably just hope he would shut up, but he kept on repeating himself, “I don’t think arranged marriage is such a bad idea.” I think that, time has changed, and the commonly accepted notion in the modern world is free will, free love, romance, and having your parents deciding who you marry is preposterous. He did not mention if he meant that parents can dictate forcefully who you marry, or he was referring to the system of networking where parents can meet and talk about their children and try to match make, rather than literally arranging the marriage. And I think there’s a cultural portion to the notion, as well, that children are open to parents getting involved in the process (which is actually still very much accepted today, that, if your parents love you and knows someone good, why wouldn’t you give it a chance?! Of course you would, right?), but going backwards further, the culture would be that parents get a lot of say about your marriage, at the very least, the absolute power to veto and the expectation that you would obey, and then, the leverage to apply pressure to persuade you into accepting an arrangement, to various degrees, depending on how backwards–and this is where I think he is at. Furthermore, going backwards further still, which is to have children accepting arranged marriage as their fate, whether they like it or not, as that’s something they are supposed to do, while shunning the notion of free love as preposterous. Going backwards further still, to have the society almost completely submerged under such a culture, that the norm becomes the hope of being arranged to a good spouse someday (and come on, this mostly means women waiting on a husband). This system still exists in India. Well accomplished men would flaunt their impressive resume at prospective families and expect to get a hot wife like they would a good job, and women are brought up under that society to like it and embrace it–and I think that’s where he was ultimately getting at. For he has an impressive resume but that wasn’t helping him in the area of marriage. I think he’s crying foul, that, rather than thinking things through, he just blames the rest of the world for not working in his favor, which is rather pathetic, sore loser, that’s what they do…, eating sour grapes…

Because, the thing is, in the old society, it’s very much rule based and role based, not a lot of room for creativity freedom. You play by this set of rules and you can expect to get this number of things. Like, if you got an impressive resume, the society rewards you with a hot wife, the society’s best interest is to thrive, and those with impressive resume’s can help the society thrive, so the rulers of the society commodities women as reward for men, giving them extra incentives to concentrate on thriving, such that, when you succeed for yourself monetary-wise, the society benefits, too, and it in terms reward you with a hot woman from amongst the livestocks of them…

Sounds great for men, especially selfish men. You don’t need to believe in love, nor invest in it, but just concentrate 100% on succeeding, make life work best for you monetarily, don’t worry about emotions, feelings, human rights, the desire to love and give, the yearnings to be loved and given back–it’s all about rules and responsibility, playing by the rules set by the society and not by God.

Chinese has this outdated saying, “Within the books lie a house of gold, within the books lie a hot girl” (書中自有黃金屋，書中自有顏如玉). That’s how the old society works, not just for Chinese, but for cultures all around the world. But I think things have changed dramatically in the past few decades, unprecedented in history; our world now is unlike any other time in history, not just in society rules, but in almost all areas of life, technology, science, medicine, everything. Not that long ago we were not flying airplanes, we didn’t have modern plumbing, the internet, cell phones, smart phones, laptop, x-ray, MRI. We didn’t have scientific discoveries like the DNA, atoms and subatomic particles, and so on. And, sticking to the topic, as far as marriage goes, people want more, more than rules and expected conforming behaviors. We want to exercise free will, we want love. In addition, I just think that women have had enough, being oppressed and commoditized throughout history. I think they are open to marriage through any mean so long as there is something real. They want to love and be loved and respected as a human being of equal rights, and while there are still many good examples of marriages that worked out really well under the old system, it still does not address these weaknesses and shortcomings.

Perhaps, under the old system, there are marriages that have a lot of love. Perhaps some have a lot of mutual respect, like being married to your best friend. But I think that, even amongst those, you can still question whether or not there’s gender equality. And then, besides those, there are also a lot of examples of oppression and abuse, things that feminists have been screaming about for a long time, so there’s no need for me to write about it, except, I just want to note that, hey, you never know what goes on behind closed doors, beneath the seemingly perfect superficial exterior, and under those circumstances, women are voiceless, helpless, and hopeless, and have no choice but to accept the fate of being commoditized and practically owned by their husband, which means that, under that system, women’s fate are up to chance, to luck, and bad and selfish men understand the situation as well as anyone can and they leverage it to their advantage, basically, women are at their men’s mercy whether their husband will treat them right or not, love them or not, respect them or not–all of which are considered as privileges and good luck, not rights and expectations. So obviously the system is broken, or at least can be very problematic.

But I met with that same guy very recently, and apparently he’s still holding on to that notion, and has done more research. It’s incredible because it has been like, gosh, fifteen years, maybe, since I heard him first brought up that notion. It’s interesting how he brought it up not too long after he finally got married; I guess one can infer that he’s not 100% happy with the one he ended up with and is trying to rant.

But the thing is, though, back when he was in college, his roommate had the biggest crush on a girl, love at first sight, cried in public multiple times, was willing to do anything to win her heart, and even put up with her being difficult even after marriage, and God knows how long before she was finally tamed! So, a great example of free love was being played out right in front of him and throughout the years, as the two guys attended the same church all these years. So why was not he bothered by this? I mean, wouldn’t this have inspired him or at least make him think twice about his own way of life and where his love life is going? I don’t think it did.

Today’s sermon talks about God’s plan for your life. It was a great message. The pastor says that it often lies in the people and situation that God placed around us, that, when we choose to emulate Christ’s way of life and apply it towards the environment God placed us in, we are carrying out his plan for our lives with full certainty. Now, although he was preaching about loving your neighbor and showing compassion, I think it applies to other scenarios, as well. I believe that, by the same notion, God would place people in our lives, or events, stories, situations, and etc that are supposed to disturb us, knock us off balance, compel us to drop what we are doing and think about our own way of lives, making us uncomfortable. It’s just like the story of Lazarus the beggar, being placed by God at the footsteps of this rich man, designed to disturbed him, make him uncomfortable, make him want to think twice about his current thought structures and way of life, as if God is knocking on the door of his heart. It’s also like the parable of the Good Samaritan, which again, the poor guy that got robbed and beat half way to death, dying on the ground, is supposed to make the religious leaders that walked past by think twice, disturbed, knocked off balance, feeling uncomfortable, as if God is knocking on the doors of their hearts, beckoning them to respond so that their lives may change for the better. So I think that, as Christians, we got to pay close attention to the people and the world around us, and not be all tunnel visioned and obsessed by our own selfish goals and ambitions, but deliberately distract ourselves by perking our heads up and look around regularly and ponder–this is one of the most important thing you can do, and need to do, to ensure personal growth, as well as understanding God’s plan and vision for your life. Because, if you don’t do that, ever, how do you know yourself and what burdens and desires God has placed in your heart, what moves you, what compels you, what motivates you, what disturbs you, what appalls you, and etc.? You got to make that high priority, actually, if you care for personal and spiritual growth.

So, back to this guy. Now, I think that, my whole life, I had very little inspiration and examples of love. A lot of negative bad stuff that makes me long for love, if it exists. There was a lovely couple that I knew, the wife really believes in love and is very devoted to her family, which was inspiring to some extent. But I think it’s still primarily my desire, my hunger, that compelled me, seeing how little love exist in this world, and what love does exist, it may not be pure or authentic. “The love of Christ compels us”, the Bible says (2 Corinthians 5:14). Well, I want to be compelled by that love, if it’s out there. The lack of love in this world bothers me, drives me crazy. I could look the other way and concentrate on practical things, it was a choice, but I did not make that choice, and I am glad I didn’t. Because now love has become my power core, that empowers everything and think, and it is a very powerful force, it gets the job done, even, so even the practical side of things is covered, as a byproduct.

So, this guy, he had a pretty much fairytale example playing itself out right before his eyes, at the perfect age when he’s supposedly contemplating these things and having the desire to get laid, but for whatever reason, it proved to have no effect on him. So many years past, and through some referrals of elderly friends he was introduced to someone. I think there were a couple of attractive ladies that attended our church over the years but I don’t think they had any interest in him.

The thing is, this is what marriage referrals have become. A lot of women who are independent and self sufficient, they scoff at the notion of arranged marriages. They welcome good people trying to set things up and see how things go, matchmaking, which is a good thing, as you may have people who care about you who happen to know someone who may be a good match for you, it’s a good thing. Sometimes parents or grandparents would do matchmaking, too, but only to that extent, beyond that, as far as the context of arranged marriage goes, it’s shunned. And you know what, the only girls left that are on the market for arranged marriages tend to be really bad prospects. In another word, women who still desire to be arranged with a successful man, well, they could be lazy, not aspired, got little to show for, not motivated, not prospective, or, they could be gold diggers–either of which fit his bill, really…, but that’s what the reality is now.

So in the end, he did kind of get that old school style referral, to a very well educated person who seems like a decent human being… But one can only think that, if he lives in the old society his prospect would’ve been far better? Yet, this is actually indicative of exactly why women don’t want to be in that old system, because, when they have the opportunity to be independent, self sufficient, and free, nobody good wanted him LOL :D

But he has science on his side, saying that: 1. Statistically there’s no evidence suggesting that the new works better than the old, in terms of finding love and happiness. 2. The world has been under the old system for thousands of years, this new system is an anomaly, and thus cannot be considered as more true and valid than the old. 3. A lot of sexual sins occurred under the new system, as well as broken hearts, broken families, broken relationships, broken children resulting from broken marriages of their parents.

My rebuttal: 1. Freedom and free will is an intuition that just feels right, people automatically want to embrace it just because God made us to be free, with free will, so we desire freedom and we go crazy when we are not free. Nobody who have tasted freedom and still would prefer to live under bondage. And by the same token, people desire love, and even though everyone knows about how the notion of free love is dangerous and won’t necessarily end up well each time, we still long for it and pursue after it because this is the truth and this is who we are. 2. I already covered that, we live in unprecedented times. We need to think about how to address the needs of our times, because right now, there is no going back. The world will never ever go back to the way it was 100 years ago, that’s just the fact. We need to think about what greater Biblical truths are out there that can better help us work with our the situations occurring in our present times. We cannot just rest on the notion that the old way is better and the new way is bad, because, the old way has weaknesses and problems, so how can we do better? I agree that traditional state of mind has its advantages, as those people tend to be more grounded, which makes communication easier, but that does not meant that its better in every way. Perhaps the old school of thoughts are less true and loving, putting a lot of emphasis on a person’s networth rather than the size of his heart and the amount of love contained in it, whereas, someone under the new ways may be more crazy and harder to work with, but they could be more down to earth and true to themselves and believe in dreams and love more, which is actually more Biblical than the traditional ways. Love could very well be illustrated by how God and Jacob pursued after each other, wrestling for decades without end; it really challenges us to rethink what love truly is about. 3. Sexual sin is not the only sin. The old ways scold it so much like the way Pharisees did back in Jesus’s time, when they themselves were committing far greater sins while being total hypocrites about them, this is spiritual blindness. Yet, with that being said, the gross amount of sexual sins is something the church needs to address. There are a lot of lies out there about what love is. What Jesus did was, he was proactive about reaching out to sinners, like how he went out to met the Samaritan woman at the well, and then show her mercy and compassion, letting her know that the root problem is not the sexual immorality, but that she needs the living water, which will quench her thirst and satisfy her soul. Thus, going along that example, churches are not doing the right thing when they wall up and cast stone everywhere at everyone, as if they are afraid of being devoured by the sinful culture. Can darkness devour light? If it can, then this light is not true light. Jesus said, “If the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness?” Chances are your light is not good, if that’s your fear…

But you know, this whole issue, it says to me just one thing, that men need to love better, and church needs to do better. And this is exactly why I’ve devoted so much of myself to understanding marriages and relationships; it’s the prime challenge and question of our days, what is love, how do I find it, why am I not finding it, what can I do to get it? I think everything I’ve written all these years circle around this.

I think that, all this is saying is that, the church needs to shine brighter. Under the new system the old ways don’t work anymore. There have been ministries that try to pull people back into the way of life 100 years ago, never that successful, I think. And then, it’s a challenge for men to love better. God created women to be men’s helper, and historically, we have been mistreating them because of our own sins. Men need to repent and do better. We cannot leverage the old society’s unrighteous rules anymore. Women need to wise up and collectively expect more. “For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.” (1 Corinthians 11:12). I think that, Satan broke our society by confusing and tempting women, just like how he targeted Even back in Eden instead of Adam, so likewise, I believe the answer to this problem has so much to do with women. When women expect more and are wiser, hey, men want laid, don’t they?

The Bible says that wives should submit to husband and husbands should love wives, but in practice, in our historically man dominant world, we only demanded that wives submit while husbands don’t have to love wives. The Bible also says that children should obey parents and parents should not provoke children to wrath, but in practice, in our historically patriarch society, children are expected to obey parents while parents can do and say mean and abusive things that drive them crazy and leave them frustrated and hurt. In either case there’s no justice for those who are not in power. The old system favors those in power in an unfair way, that’s why we all hate it, unless you are well positioned to be in the position of power, which is what that guy is, so…