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el-gilliath · 4 years

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I’m completely discouraged after mondays episode. As you’re always so sweet and positive I wanted to ask how you feel now that you’ve had some time to think? Are you still on the Malex train?

So this was sent to me as a non-anon, and I asked said person if they wanted me to answer as if it were anon, because the ask kinda gave me that feeling. They did so that’s what I’m going to do.

Under the cut will be discussion on RNM 206 and my personal feelings now that it’s been a few days because I don’t want to accidentally hurt people with this. Also, this is LONG.

I have not made my uncomfortable feelings for the threesome a secret. For me, turning the scene sexual was completely unneccessary, it felt like shock for shock value’s sake and I just did not like it.

I am still uncomfortable with it. But I will say that for me finding out that Alex said ‘I don’t really want to leave’ twice did help a tiny bit, but I still stand by my descision that it not need to be sexual.

What I have been doing, and what I am really lucky to have, is the ability to safely discuss it in a place that lets me give my viewpoints without being judged. I can say why I understand it being it triggering, I can say why I hated what they did with it, and I can say I thought the language of it was just not good. I’m lucky to have that, I’m lucky to be able to voice my opinion and safely discuss it. Which I have for the last two days.

I’ve been given great opposing ‘arguments’ as to why someone thinks the scene was amazing, I’ve been given good reasons as to why a platonic cuddle pile or just sleeping in the same bed might not have felt authentic to the characters, but I have also not been judged for still not being comfortable with it. I have been allowed to feel what I feel, and for those of you involved in these discussions I am very grateful.

That being said. My faith in Maria was shook to the core after monday. I think Heather did a very poor job in wording herself in that interview, and it did not help. Seeing her allude that Maria initiated the threesome as some sort of ultimatum was horrible. One should nok take the actors words as word of god but fuck it all if I did not detest the ground Maria DeLuca walks on for a minute there.

My faith in Michael was shook to the core. I have never felt the need to hide that Michael Guerin is my very problematic favorite, but after monday I did. I wanted to deny that he’s my favorite, because the Michael I have grown to love is not someone I thought would agree to that, nor be a part of something so. Stupid.

My faith in Alex was shook to the core. Because I doubted everything I knew about him for a second. I found it to be so completely out of character, so completely asinine, so completely shocking that I wondered who the heck that character was supposed to be.

My feeling have changed. Vlamis gave me a perspective on Michael’s feelings in his blog with Abnormally Adam that helped me a lot in seeing his motives.

Tylers words about Malex and how he still wants them to be together in the live yesterday and the enorme love he has for Alex gave me a sense of peace.

I know now that’s not what Heather meant in that article and that she was talking about Maria’s insecurities which made me view the scene in yet another light.

My faith in them is still shaken, and it will probably stay shaken for a good long while, but I will let myself feel it, for however long I need to. Because I am human, and I’m allowed to. But I still love Malex. I still want them to be endgame. I still want to see Vlam&Tyler’s gorgeous, insane chemistry turn into something completely beautiful.

But that’s because I trust them, not because I trust Carina. Because her telling rape victims to not ‘insult actual victims of sexual assult by implying that a man who says “I don’t want to leave”, nods when asked for his consent, and enthusiastically participates in sex with people he loves is being raped” is beyond insane, beyond offensive and beyond any lines of fine. And yes, this is a direct quote from her. I might still love the show, or what I want the show to be, but she needs to learn to listen to concern people have and not automatically dismiss it because it’s not. Good.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, and if you survived to here, I applaud you.

#roswell new mexico #rnm spoilers #malexa #rnm 2x06

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