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aeternallis · 3 months

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The Third Song / Why Kim chose to rewrite Chay’s first song

So one day, I was thinking about what happened to that song Kim was working on in episode 9. 🤔 The tune Kim strums and vocalizes to is pretty catchy, and so I also wondered about how we don’t get a lot of scenes of Kim’s creative process with his music in general, yknow?

I have a fic idea about this subject in the works also, so I figured I may as well write a meta too to get my thoughts in order. Haha!

But before I go on and start ranting, for the sake of this meta I think it’s important to establish the level of fame Wik already has by the start of the show. Admittedly, it’s quite difficult to do this since Kim’s persona of Wik hardly makes an appearance, and the show didn’t necessarily focus on Kim’s life as a celebrity. But from the minimal amount of clues, I think it’s okay to make an educated guess.

From Chay’s shrine, we know that Kim has done at least one photoshoot with GQ (if memory serves me correctly), and a number of smaller publications. So he’s gotten some exposure already; his fame isn’t limited to the internet, in other words. Due to this, it’s most likely he does have a PR team of some sort, by virtue of being a public figure and most likely because he’s an heir to the Theerapanyakuls’ (very public) business empire. There’s no way Kim can afford to remain a private citizen, not only due to the notoriety of his family, but as well as his own celebrity status.

Incidentally however, it’s also hard to look at the crowd size in the university during Kimchay’s first meeting as an indicator of his fame, because I imagine the school would have had to make it very clear to the staff that the performance was for prospective students only and perhaps have prevented non-students from entering the grounds to see his impromptu show. Furthermore, according to the trivia session at the time, he’s also starred in a number of MVs, and we know he has a recording studio of his own.

Yet still, Ohm is not aware of who he is, and if we give Ohm the metaphorical role of being the outsider to all this, it would seem Kim’s fame is also somewhat contained. This being the case, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that Kim is also most likely under a label as an indie artist, since I feel like he does not yet have enough clout that he can move to build his career independently.

So if I were to take a gander at Kim's fame, I would probably say it’s at the level of Jeff Satur’s just before he made his official announcement of leaving BOC–rising fame to come close to reaching national stardom, but not just yet to say he’s a true international (or even regional) star.

(Arguably, one can also say that a good chunk of his fame is his good looks, but that’s a different meta altogether, lol)

Having established his level of fame for this rant, now I can maybe make a gander at tackling his creative/thought process. XD

By the time we’ve reached past the midway point of the show, the audience sees that despite the level of success he’s achieved so far in his career as a musician, Kim is currently in a bit of a creative rut / writer’s block.

We see perhaps a hint of it in episode 4 when he’s just nonchalantly strumming his guitar off camera before Big hands him Porsche’s bodyguard application, but we don’t see it explicitly until episode 9, when he’s visibly frustrated by the WIP song he’s trying to figure out:

So by this point, there’s technically two completed songs between him and Chay, as well as a WIP song that he was struggling with. For reference, I’ll refer to the songs between them as follows: 1stver.WDYS (ep 5), TSiCY (ep 8), Kim’s WIP song (ep 9), and Finalver.WDYS (ep 14).

So knowing that Kim’s WIP song was partly inspired by Chay, knowing that Kim currently had a song in the works, why did he not choose this WIP song to sing to Chay in their final scene together? Why did he choose to rework Chay’s 1stver.WDYS to become his (Kim’s) Finalver.WDYS, when he already had a song up in his sleeve that was different from the other two?

Why choose to re-write one of Chay’s songs, rather than use one of his own?

Thematically and for their relationship, choosing to re-write 1stver.WDYS makes perfect sense. This is the song that holds the most weight between them, because it was the very first one they had worked on together (kinda, lol). It carries with it a powerful sense of nostalgia, of simpler times, and it’s a symbol of all that had been between them before everything fell apart.

Furthermore, Kim came into Chay’s life at a time when Chay had been vulnerable and very much alone. In a way, WDYS–both its first version and final version–is symbolic of Chay’s and Kim’s own narrative journeys, of their respective worlds expanding beyond just the simple (yet also very complicated) existence they’d been living up until that point, into allowing one another into their hearts. The yearning within Finalver!WDYS’s lyrics can apply to both Kim and Chay, which makes it all the more resonate with the audience.

Yet still, this is only partly the point of view of the audience, not necessarily of Kim himself (although there is some overlap).

So what would have been Kim’s thought process when he’d decided to rewrite 1stverWDYS? How would he have ultimately decided to willingly choose to steal from Chay?

After all, Kim is a musician, an artist. One who is starting to grow exponentially in fame, but also one who does take his craft very seriously. Being as Kim is an artist, he would know more than anyone what it means to have artistic integrity in his field. Especially with how the music industry is nowadays, I would imagine that Kim is the type to do whatever he could to stand out, but not so much that he would be the sort to just copy someone else’s style. He has his pride, for one, and he wouldn’t have garnered fame the way he did had he been in the habit of copying.

On top of that, it's not hard to see that music is very much personal to Kim; it's an alternative avenue for him to express himself and his thoughts and feelings.

In the end, the way I personally see it, Kim choosing to rewrite 1stver.WDYS was very much a calculated move, designed to break through Chay’s defenses, to illustrate his intent in getting Chay back, and what he’s willing to sacrifice and do in order to do just that.

Nostalgia - This is the first song they ever worked on in the studio, and at least for Chay, carries significant weight emotionally. It’s a song initially about Porsche, and the impact he’s had on Chay’s life. Knowing that this song means so much to Chay, I don’t think Kim is above using that emotional significance and turning it on its head to change the meaning of the song: from Porsche’s influence in Chay’s life to Chay’s influence in Kim’s life, in order to bring Chay’s guard down. (Sidenote: In a way, WDYS carries more weight than TSiCY ever did, even if that's the song that was meant to express Chay's feelings for Kim. TSiCY was straightforward, and accomplished what Chay set out to do: complete the homework Kim gave him, and express his feelings to his idol while he was at it.) During their final scene in episode 14, there’s hints that it's the first time Kim reaches out to Chay in a month, if not the first time Kim has reached out to him in this specific manner. If Kim has any hope of capturing Chay’s attention as soon as he catches him off guard and he clicks on that video link, Kim has to be able to not only grab Chay’s attention right off the bat, but also keep it. What better way to hold Chay’s attention than to serenade back to him the first song he ever wrote? When Kim chose to rewrite 1stver.WDYS, it wasn’t necessarily to impress Chay, but to grab hold of his attention with the least possible chance of Chay closing out the video and turning his attention elsewhere.

Intent to show Chay that he wants him romantically - This is pretty straightforward, looking at the Thai version of the song, and its translation (Ex: Just you, just having you, no matter what. A world without stars but the two of us will move forward). It’s a song about yearning, of wanting Chay back in his life, of how much Kim has missed him. Per Jeffy himself, WDYS is a love song. (credit to IYSmomo on Twitter for that translation!)

Sure, his delivery of the song in the video makes it sound like an apology, perhaps, but ultimately, WDYS is a love song–a most selfish one at that, and within the context of that final scene between them, also highlights Kim’s nature as a Theerapanyakul. This boy easily throws away integrity over his shoulder to tell Chay he’s in love with him. Lol If that isn’t in keeping with family tradition, I don’t know what does~ Could Finalver!WDYS act as an apology? Does Kim regret his treatment of Chay? Meh, debatable imo, considering his deception was meant to safeguard his family and figure out the mysterious circumstances surrounding Porsche’s swift employment. Sure, there’s definitely guilt, but regret? That’s up for interpretation.

Intent to show Chay what he’s willing to give up - Oddly enough, Kim is completely honest with Chay only twice in the show: the first time they meet, as well as their final scene together. By the time Kim sends him the video link, the mask Kim wears as Wik has been completely discarded. It’s a bold and risky choice to get rid of this mask, even temporarily, because this is the armor Kim has in his sleeve that separates his life away from the mafia. And he does get rid of it, not only because he singles out Chay in that video, but by appropriating Chay’s song in the first place, had Chay been a lot more vindictive than what his disposition allows, this is incriminating evidence of his theft. Lol But getting back on point: Wik is Kim’s livelihood outside of the mafia. Without this mask, is it even still possible for him to operate outside the mafia? It’s a dramatic question, but I think a legitimate one, considering he’s put quite a bit of stock and time in perfecting it, to the point he’s close to reaching national stardom. Yet still, he gets rid of that mask when he sings to Chay of his feelings. At the very least, for Chay, he’s willing to drop that armor altogether to tell him he’s in love with him. It’s a powerful statement, and imo, shows the depth of his feelings for Chay, in that he’s willing to sacrifice it entirely, if it would mean being with him.

Writer’s Block / Chay is Kim’s muse – Of course, I don’t think we can dismiss the fact that Kim was going through a bit of a creative block during the time we see him in the show. Perhaps we can say that part of the reason Kim chose to rewrite 1stver.WDYS is because he couldn’t think of anything else. Lol Thinking of Chay was able to get him out of the block in episode nine, and he was able to figure out the chords for the WIP song. Chay is definitely a muse and a source of inspiration for Kim. Yet still, I don’t want to be too hasty in making the leap in logic that he couldn’t think of anything else, since we don’t see him past the point after he sings Finalver.!WDYS to Chay. We don’t know whether he continues to struggle with his creative block, or if he manages to get past it (especially for when he and Chay get back together--//hits).

Ultimately, Kim’s gamble to repurpose Chay’s song about Porsche–although he doesn’t know it just yet–works greatly in his favor, judging by Chay’s reaction in the end: Chay not only watches the video all the way through, he’s unable to click “Delete” right away, unlike the other times, when he’d blocked Kim without hesitation.

The fact that Kim can make that decision to take Chay’s song to use it for his own purposes, the fact that Chay can listen to his own song that’s been stolen and repurposed, only goes to show that at the end of it all, they’re still very much wrapped around each other’s fingers.

#kimchay #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #meta #meta post #meta rant

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