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Junior Eurovision 2023 detailed opinions before the show. Part 4 (final)

After three parts, we're finally here! The final part of my tier-ranked opinions of the Junior Eurovision 2023 songs before the big day at Sunday, November 26th! 12 songs were already covered, from the decent (in a good way) to the almost winner-alerts, with some personal wildcards in the middle. Now we are left with 4 of the 16 songs, these ones being the top of the top of my personal favorites! And days before the main show!

The opinions on these songs will be longer than the others, but it's just I have a lot to say about them! :D

Let's show the tier-chart reference one last time, shall we?

Tier 1: "Very nice of them to invite Junior Eurovision to their concert"

🇮🇪 Jessica McKean (featuring legend herself Sophie Lennon) "Aisling"

Ireland is one of those countries that somehow fail to get a good spot (or even a Grand Final spot itself) in adult Eurovision, something strange knowing they won 7 times before the 2000's (and now Sweden ties them); but when they play in the Junior version, they get better placings (if not Top 5) compared to their adult counterparts (Poland and Georgia are another examples, with the first either giving decent masterpieces or the worse things to ever touch adult Eurovision soil for their JESC counterparts to surpass, and the latter with more undeserved low places/NQs than the previous one *cough, cough, Iru Khechanovi* and having their JESC counterparts to avenge them). And recently, it looks like their JESC broadcaster had been making a better job with a trio of Celtic songs than their ESC broadcaster's elections.

After the marvelous and eye-catching song that was Sophie Lennon's "Solas" in Yerevan that got a 4th place behind Mariam, Nare and Lissandro; no wonder the Irish delegation wanted to make a good election of their next singer (and ofc, the song) to reach victory. And boy, they kept their mood with this year's song

Why did this new Celtic-Irish song went above Ohne Worte, you ask? Well, first, the melody (once again) it's something that makes its job and lets Jessica's voice get along with it with the mesmerizing Irish lyrics, co-written by Sophie herself alongside other composers who made the 2019 and 2022 JESC Irish entries. While slower than Solas, it still gives the vibe of a magical and mystical song that really tells "it's from Ireland" more than the adult ESC entries.

When I watched the song reveal with the videoclip from TG4 (before the JESC YT channel XD), it was something beautiful. The eerie yet pretty castle, the landscapes, Jessica's princess vibes....And just of nowhere, when I thought I had seen everything, the final verses come in and THEN THERE IS SOPHIE IN THE CASTLE! Yes, you heard me, Sophie fricking Lennon in the videoclip, and singing with her partner the ending! Not only she wrote the lyrics (and invited the Wild Youth fellas to her concert during the Eire finale XD), but also OFFICIALLY joins Jessica in the entry, both studio and LIVE! As one of Sophie's fans, this was something I NEVER EXPECTED IN THE SONG. One thing is lyrics writing, but THIS IS TAKING THEIR LEGACY TO ANOTHER LEVEL! :D ;w;

For two legends together, the staging and live harmony is REALLY THE KEY for Ireland to get the victory they almost got in Yerevan! And knowing they sing 4th after Kvitka, I REALLY EXPECT them to blow the stage and at least have ALL THE LUCK I would wish for them! As the officially declared "ending of the Celtic JESC trilogy of 2019, 2022 and 2023" by the Irish delegations, I hope they end this cycle with honor, and at least brings a new start for Ireland in Junior Eurovision (and hopefully the senior one, because Sweden will kick them from their winner pedestal more sooner than expected if they don't step up. Seriously)

🇪🇸 Sandra Valero "Loviu"

As a fellow Hispanic, I ALWAYS expect the best from Spain in both contests (a language bias, since here in LatinAmerica we don't have Eurovision yet, junior or senior T-T). And while most of them are, well, not my style, there are some I hold dear in my heart: El Chiki Chiki, Amanecer, SloMo (and how not to love her? Chanel IDOLA!) and Eaea (still singing it, even if being another Big 5 robbery that hurted me a lot in Liverpool, and the worst of all with ONLY 5 TELEVOTE POINTS. Darn on the card system, sabotaging my credit payment in the website voting!) for the adult songs; and Antes Muerta Que Sencilla (campeona la María Isabel), Marte, Pa'lante and Señorita (a baby king following Chanel's Latino vibes ;W;) for the Junior!

And this year they didn't dissapoint again (even with HoD changes from RTVE)! They brought another queen to the JESC list, Sandra Valero, with her upbeat song "Loviu"

For all the expectatives I imagined for the Junior Eurovision Spanish song, this one blew me! So happy, so Junior-flavored (without being too sugar-coated), so catchy even for those who don't speak Spanish, so moving (and needed with the ballad parade)! I can say a lot of things of this song, but there is character limit in the posts, so I'll stop now. And Sandra giving it the nostalgic childhood vibes in her acting and voice! The imagination she conveys, her kindness and her energy...The second time I felt a Junior song very close to my native language (Señorita did it first).

I will threatPLEAD France TV (host broadcaster) to not chicken out with Sandra's staging. The swing of the videoclip MUST BE THERE, even if from a low height for security measures, because it's not like dealing with Loreen's 1.8 kg panini press, Blas Cantó's moon or Brunette's LED platform, it's UN JODIDO PINCHE COLUMPIO (and they previously put a ring-swing for Tanya's song in Paris 2021, so no excuses). The train and the clouds can be optional and they can innovate, but for everyone's sake don't ruin Spain's chance to win (more than they could already have since they perform FIRST) or I will burn France/j. And for those Hispanic fellas from here, remember to vote for Sandra! :D

🇳🇱 Sep & Jasmijin "Holding On To You"

As Netherlands was one of the first countries to begin their pre-selections for their JESC 2023 song, I played the Junior Songfestival 2023 song-snippet video as soon as Fan Del Junior Eurovision Song Contest streamed it in YouTube. And of the four songs, I got two favorites: one of them being Duron's "Magic" with a nice and catchy rhythm that would be fit in the Junior essence (even if they massacred his song at the live performance for the JSF Final T-T, like it happened to Kazakhstan's "Jer-Ana" in 2022). But alongside him, there was ONE song that spoke for me, in high volume and no doubts, "we are THE song for Nice", and managed to keep into the first place of my list for a VERY LONG TIME (before the next song occupied their throne)

This is, with no discussions, the most EDM and dance-inciting song I've ever heard and expected its victory before the great show in a Junior contest, let alone a Dutch JESC song after years of calm and chill songs such as Luna's "La Festa" (her 7th place by performing first is the sole reason I hope Sandra slays the stage this year to not suffer the same fate), Ayana's "Mata Sugu Aō Ne" (the robbery of 2021, a REAL robbery!) or even Ralf Mackenbach's "Click Clack" (both a JESC winner and now a plasma physicist...THE FUTURE THIS LAD GOT O-O).

Sep and Jasmijin's vocals are no doubt, harmony itself displayed in this AMAZING entry. And not only in the studio version, but also live in the Finals of Junior SongFestival itself! The lyrics telling a story of a friendship that could become something else between two souls, in a child-friendly yet effective and addictive! And the JSF staging, being a prototype of the Grand Finale version to see soon, it's so connected to the entry itself, and both not only swept the national jury and online voting with 12 points each, but also spoke "winner" from miles.

For the staging, as the JSF version was related enough with the song, it needs some serious changes if they want to elevate it to Nice (and to check what to do with the dancers since the 6-people-max rule of staging counts in Junior Eurovision too). Otherwise, and with an advantage of being the final song to perform this Sunday, I can see them winning (if there are no obstacles) and I will be happy for them (well, any of the Tier 1 and 2 songs, honestly, I love them). (well, at least they can make Dutch Eurovision champion Duncan Laurence feel better after his own ESC 2023 duo flopped at their own song since the pre-parties XDXD)

🇦🇲 Yan Girls "Do It My Way"

We reached the last song of the list!

Let's start with the country itself, Armenia. They are recently getting better in the adult Eurovision (Snap, Future Lover) and more than they were of perfect in the Junior edition: One winner being Vladimir Arzumanyan in 2010 with "Mama", another in 2021 being Malena with the JESC's Euphoria "Qami Qami" (alongside her 2020 song "Why" she couldn't sing in JESC 2020 due to conflicts happening in Armenia more than the pandemic, and the song itself not speaking other things than those ;w; T-T), and a runner-up of Nare's "Dance!" in 2022 (and the entire country at her side during the voting before Lissandro surprisingly won). And of course they couldn't lower their guards for this year again in France!

After a long run of mostly ballads revealed in the song list, and after my recovery of Poland's videoclip, this song is what I never thought I would need to listen in the Junior playlist and yet, by leagues, became my Top 1 election to win the contest at first listen!

From all the genres I thought Armenia would bring it on for Nice (anything but more ballads, knowing their Eurovision competitive spirit), K-Pop was definitely not in my list! And yet, even if not being a fan of the genre itself, "Do It My Way" made me head-bang and tap my feet while I heard it for the first time! The five girls' voices really give the feelings of this special song, from the calm beginning to the dance-breaking choruses, combining Armenian with English in the song so perfectly with their dance moves and the entire videoclip that it feels like an authentic K-Pop song that famous groups could create!

Even if like most cases in this list, I can't understand most of the lyrics without a translation (since it's mostly Armenian by EBU 70%-national-language rule to avoid English overusing like it happens in the adult Eurovision), the energies they deliver make it a good song. And it really speaks "being authentic to one self, to break the rules and do anything you want!" not only by the English chorus, but also the voice styles!

I know it will a bit more difficult for the Yan Girls to mix their dance moves with perfect live singing during the grand day unlike a studio video (same for the props and lights displayed in the clip), but I can tell by their videos (before the Opening Ceremony, not the rehearsals, I'm not fond of rehearsals as they're spoilers for me) they are ready to get a Top scoring, and maybe even repeating the "Armenia wins in France, and France wins in Armenia" cycle of victories we had since 2021!

Yes, I know it's sort of a polemic declaration since most of the ESC fandom is not too eager for them (or France itself) to win again with so many options and newcomers, but still, I won't be mad imo if they get a third trophy and tie Georgia in the winner list!

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And with this, I officially declare this JESC 2023 tier-ranking detailed opinion compilation finished! All of the 16 songs covered and reviewed!

If I have to talk about the contest itself, I got some opinions:

I'm a bit bummed there's no rock songs in this edition like in 2022 (Anos 70) or 2021 (Specchio) and others in previous years. And no, "Un Mondo Giusto"'s rock-chord finale doesn't count. It has to be a song of those vibes from beginning to end. But well, K-Pop covered that void in the list :D!

I'm surprised there's not a single boy solist in this edition. It's the "Cure Wing among the other Cures" situation in this edition, because there are three boys, yes, but in groups (Georgia, Oto and Nikoloz) or duets (Sep); and most of the singers are girls! XD

At least the running order is a bit decent this time. Germany is not first to begin (finally!), Spain is not a bad song to open the show (and we have televote on our side), and Netherlands can end the evening so fine

If the rumours of La Zarra not being a guest interval (like Barbara Pravi in 2021, Rosa Linn in 2022) are true, I will be sad, but yet comprehensive (since they say it was because she wants to rest from Eurovision after the kerfuffle, and the middle finger cancelled her in France, and so on...). But at least I hope the guests are some good singers!

And that's finally all! Hope you enjoyed this compilation! See ya next time! :D

My Ideal Eurovision 2024

Well, we've had all of the competing songs for a while now. We've ranked them, we've pit them against the 2023 songs, we've even commiserated over the Semi-Final Running Orders.

But...there is one question that I've noticed is in most Eurovision fan's head, myself included: What if MY National Final Winners Won? And that's what I'm here to share. Below, as you can see from the title, is the Eurovision 2024 had all my National Final winners were selected.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a ranking. I'll have conclusions toward the end of the post. Countries are listed in alphabetical order. I won't change internal selections because that takes up way too much time that I really don't have. And, since this is FOR FUN, if a country has 2 songs that I liked equally, I include both. LET'S GO!

Albania: "Jetën N'skaj" by Erina & The Elementals (unknown placement) Armenia: "Jako" by Ladavina (Internally Selected) Australia: "One Milkali (One Blood)" by Electric Fields (Internally Selected) Austria: "We Will Rave" by Kaleen (Internally Selected) Belgium: "Before The Party's Over" by Mustii (Internally Selected) Croatia: "Rim Tim Tagi Dim' by Baby Lasagna (1st in NF)/"Voljena ženo" by Damir Kedžo (4th in NF) Cyprus: "Liar" by Silia Kapsis (Internally Selected) Czechia: "Red Flag Parade" by MYDY (3rd in NF) Denmark: "Sand" by Saba (1st in NF) Estonia: "My Friend" by Ollie (2nd in NF) Finland: "Dancing With Demons" by Cyan Kicks (4th in NF) France: "Mon Amour" by Slimane (Internally Selected) Georgia: "Firefighter" by Nusta (Internally Selected) Germany: "Naiv" by Marie Reim (6th in NF) Greece: "Zari" by Marina Satti (Internally Selected) Iceland: "Scared Of Heights" by Hera Björk (1st in NF)/"Wild West" by Bashar Murad (2nd in NF) Ireland: "Love Me Like I Do" by Erica-Cody (4th in NF) Italy: "Tu No" by Irama (5th in NF) Latvia: "Heaven's Raining Down On Me" by Patrīcija Spale (NQ in NF Semi) Lithuania: "Luktelk" by Silvester Belt (1st in NF) Luxembourg: "Drowning In The Rain" by Krick (2nd in NF) Malta: "Wild Card" by Gail (11th in NF) Moldova: "In The Middle" by Natalia Barbu (1st in NF) Netherlands: "Europapa" by Joost Klein (Internally Selected) Norway: "Heart On Fire" by Myra (NQ in NF Semi) Poland: "The Tower" by Luna (Internally Selected*) *I know some songs were released, but it was an internal selection* Portugal: "You Can't Hide" by Filipa (10th in NF Semi, NQ) San Marino: "11:11" by Megara (1st in NF*) *I didn't rank the NF songs since UVPSM happened in a literal blink* Serbia: "Ramonda" by Teya Dora (1st in NF)/"Duga je noć" by Filip Baloš (10th in NF Semi, NQ) Slovenia: "Veronika" by Raiven (Internally Selected) Spain: "Sé quién soy" by Angy Fernández (3rd in NF)/"Here To Stay" by Sofia Coll (7th in NF) Sweden: "Awful Liar" by Lisa Ajax (11th in NF) Switzerland: "The Code" by Nemo (Internally Selected) Ukraine: "Teresa & Maria" by alyona alyona/Jerry Heil (1st in NF)/"Dreamer" by Mélovin (3rd in NF) United Kingdom: "Dizzy" by Olly Alexander (Internally Selected)

Conclusions: Even with my NF winners, it still would have been a stacked year (bad bias joke, you can laugh now). But being honest, I think out of all of these, Belgium still would have been my winner. Serbia still would have scored well. The only threat I see to Belgium would be if Luxembourg had chosen Krick.

Readers reply: should I let my cat outside? | Cats

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Readers reply: should I let my cat outside? | Cats

Should I let my cat outside? Apparently she’s in danger – and is a danger herself. Alicia Burton, Shrewsbury

Send new questions to [email protected].

Readers reply

Outside cats kill songbirds and small mammals. They use neighbours’ flower beds and children’s sandboxes for litter boxes and spread disease. Cats should be kept inside. PennsylvaniaModerate

Where I live your cat might get eaten by a coyote, so no. Also they are terrible on birdlife. If you must, create a nice catio for outdoor fun. I think cats that have never been indoor/outdoor do OK indoors-only, but it is hard to change from being in and out to in-only. martimart

Cats are outdoor creatures – if you can’t allow them outside, for whatever reason (and there may be good reasons not to in some locations), you shouldn’t have a cat. To keep a cat inside-only means you have put your desires ahead of his/hers. I don’t have a dog because I can’t give one what it needs – the same applies; it’s selfish and cruel. It’s not unlike people who declaw (anyone who does so should have the same done to them) – if you don’t accept the risk of damage to furniture etc, don’t have a cat. We’ve always had a cat flap and so know that the cat chooses to live with us – she could leave at any time but doesn’t. I am not sure it’s healthy to keep an animal trapped with you against their will. bobbitygobitty

My cat was a rescued feral kitten, he barely survived starvation on a Miami street before I saved him. He adores my screened-in porches and lanais, where he can be “safely” outside without actually being outside. I’ve left my front door open by accident and he cringes away from it. He knows what is out there. He sees them (the wild animals) from his screened porch and he wants nothing to do with the outside world. Slinger

People tend to have very emotional responses to questions regarding pets, so this particular debate tends to get quite heated quite fast. My view in general is that it just seems odd we have this weird exception where cats are concerned. If I chose to keep a dog or some other animal and I let it roam around other peoples’ gardens unsupervised doing its business on the lawn they would be rightfully angry with me. But if it’s a cat it’s fine for some reason.

My preference in general is for people to keep their pets on their own property, or otherwise under control (eg, on a lead when out of the house), but where cats are concerned free-ranging has been the norm for so long that it would be hard to put that genie back in the bottle (or that cat back in the bag).

It seems undeniably bad for the cats (we had several that were killed on the roads when I was growing up), and bad for wildlife. Even ignoring the death toll on small mammals and birds, inter-breeding with free-ranging housecats has all but wiped out Scottish wildcats as a separate species. Pode

If you are worried about whether they’ll be OK being indoor-only cats, don’t worry. There are about 75m of them in North America. The vast majority are just fine. In many cities in Canada and the US it’s against bylaws to let cats free roam. If you have space, a catio is the perfect solution. KimberlyCoast

Once I got a couple of chickens (free to roam). Then I got rats. Then I got a cat. Now I no longer have rats. She hunts all night, sleeps all day. She seems to need to touch base with me once a day, but apart from that is doing her own thing. I put that down to me allowing her to fully pursue her instincts, so I am mostly OK with the small mammals she brings in. The bat was like something out of Hammer horror film, though. How a cat catches a bat remains a mystery. lcj4949d

Like everything, it depends. If you live in a high-traffic area, there is an increased risk she could be injured. If you live close to a nature reserve there is an increased risk she could snack on an endangered or protected species. If you live in a quiet-ish neighbourhood and she has a bell on her collar, you’re probably OK. Stroppimare

I’ve shared space with cats and they were all outdoor cats, to be fair I never thought of keeping them in. Sure there are dangers out there, but I feel they have a life much more in tune with their natural instincts being outdoors roaming about, doing their thing. I wouldn’t have a cat and keep them in, I’d feel cruel keeping an animal just for my own selfish pleasure if it couldn’t live as it wanted. As I’m away a lot I don’t have a cat now, however the local neighbourhood has a few cats bouncing around. They mainly seem to laze about, occasionally shagging and fighting with each other. Nice life for them. Liverpooldave

I adore my cat and would never let him outside for the simple reason that it’s an ugly and dangerous world. If I let him outside, he could get hit by a car, he might be injured by some unpleasant and unstable person or he might be kidnapped and I’d never see him again. At home he has his big lovely cat bed to relax on, loads of toys and access to fresh food and water. I think if you truly love your cat you won’t put them outside. Hyufcdtb

I am pretty sure that even if he was capable of making a rational, risk-based decision, my cat would still choose to go outside. The world is dangerous for humans too, but we don’t sit at home scared to go out. whatwasigoingtosay

If possible, harness train. A cat who has a strong urge to go outside will more than likely tolerate having a harness as they’ll start to associate the harness with outdoor access. Keeps them safe while enabling them a bit of freedom. I adopted my cat when she was about six months and harness trained her a few months later. Hilarious floor flops at the first attempt, but the desire to be outdoors over-rode her initial resistance to the harness and now she comes running when I jingle the harness for her. I will likely draw the line at pushing her around in a stroller – witnessed someone in my neighbourhood doing this with their cat last week. The human looked ridiculous, but I must say that the cat looked quite content and imperious. Jammygal

Do not harness train your cat! Cats are flight animals and harnesses impede their ability to run off when they’re stressed or feel a sense of danger. It will have a negative impact on their overall welfare and severely impacts natural behaviours. Please do proper research on cat behaviour. If you want to let your cat outside you should actively play with it for at least 15 minutes a day and feed it a high protein/ real-meat-rich diet – this has been proven to decrease the amount of wildlife cats prey on. Additionally, do not let them out at dusk or dawn but just during the day. GoblinBombardment

This reminds me of one of the Inspector Morse episodes, Who Killed Harry Field? The titular Harry being an artist (and murder victim) with a sideline in concocting bogus coats of arms complete with Latin mottos for the credulous. Here goes …

Morse: “Felix noctu exponendus” [Laughs]. Lewis: lt’s the way you tell them, sir. Morse: lt’s translated for the Pfeiffers of Chicago as “Happy the man daring to go out into the darkness.” Lewis: What’s it really mean? Morse: “At night, put the cat out.” Mobilepope

My 2020 reviews

All the cool kids were doing these so now I finally dragged my ass into doing them too lmao. 

Albania- Fall from the Sky

A song I swear cursed this whole contest from the moment it won Festivali i Këngës. Like with the shitshow this song caused I just knew the whole year was fucked. With half the fandom whining they didn’t get their first club song of the year to the other half smugly shoving it as their winner despite no other songs being around to compare it to, the whole fiasco just left me knowing that 2020 would end in tears, just hopefully not my own. As for the song, it’s lame. It’s a standard ballad with OBSCENE amounts of autotune, which is weird because the girl can actually sing pretty decently without it, so why they decided to make her sound like a damn computer is beyond me. And WHY did they translate it, haven't the past few years proven that Albania's better off leaving their songs in Albanian? 

Armenia- Chains on You

A bootleg Ariana Grande song, and a really shit one at that. The kind of song only people who think being young, gay and mean counts as having a personality would say is good.

Australia- Don’t Break Me

One of the few decent Australian entries (but that REALLY isn’t saying much coming from me, I barely care they’re in the contest by this point) but marred by a horribly untidy performance and lacklustre lyrics. At least it’s not fucking pop-opera, that’s all I can say. I’d rather listen to the sound of my face being dragged down the runway at Heathrow airport than be subjected to another Zero Gravity.

Austria- Alive

One of those pseudo-jazz dance songs, á la Olly Murs or Bruno Mars (I swear there’s a song like this in every recent contest). I mean, it’s good, but it’s just kinda meh since I’m kinda getting tired of this genre rearing its fedora-wearing head every time a new lineup rolls in.

Azerbaijan- Cleopatra

One of the “better” trashy entries this year, comprised of about five different musical genres, six ancient cultures being appropriated and absolutely zero class. Probably sounds at least 50% better when you’re absolutely steaming drunk and face down on the floor in the middle of a gay bar.

Belarus- Da Vidna

Somehow, this song sounds both very unique and original yet trite and average at the same time. I couldn’t decide whether listening to it was a new experience or if I’d heard it a million times before.

Belgium- Release Me

A song which just drones on till it ends. I would say it’s ripping off the song that won last year, but it forgot that having a chorus stops your song from being three minutes of snooze.

Bulgaria- Tears Getting Sober

A typical breathy mumble-girl song, AKA a genre I can’t fucking stand. Really don’t see the hype with this one, the melody is pretty but the vocals are out for lunch and it’s otherwise completely and utterly boring.

Croatia- Divlji Vjetre

One of the token big dramatic ballads you listen to once, enjoy, then forget about until Darius in the Discord server plays it one night whilst you’re hitting up the radio bot with requests. You’ll find that “nice, but forgettable” is a common theme for this year.

Cyprus- Running

Ironically Cyprus didn’t send a crappy Fuego knockoff for 2020, and I say ironically because a crappy Fuego knockoff would’ve actually stood out this year, and I say crappy because honestly Fuego wasn’t even all that great to begin with. "Running” itself is just one of those edgy tortured soul pop songs which, let’s be honest, would have been paired with an impressive performance which would’ve overshadowed how bland it is. Kind of like “You’re the Only One”. Or even Fuego for that matter.

Czech Republic- Kemama

Standard Afro-pop, a genre we don't often see at the contest so I'll let it pass. I feel like this is the kind of song that’s infinitely better live, and that it would’ve been one of those songs that suddenly became a frontrunner after the semi finals, but I guess we’ll never know eh?

Denmark- Yes 

The quintessential mid-10s Eurovision song. It's got guitars, happy people, Scandinavian origins… it’s just a typical radio guitar song, nothing special.

Estonia- What Love Is

I mean it's better than La Forza. Granted, the sound of someone pissing directly onto a microphone installed in the bowl of a toilet would sound better than La Forza but still. Going back to this song, it’s just... a standard Eastern-ballad with some very desperate lyrics. It feels kind of outdated, if I’m honest. Like something about this just reeks of 2011.

Finland- Looking Back

Yet another dreary, forgettable ballad. It comes to something when the best song they COULD have sent was a party song which sounded like it was from the mid 90s. At least that song was memorable. That said, this one at least has some decent lyrics. Bravo for that I guess.

France- Mon Alliée

France decides to say “fuck it” to being an underground fan-favourite and takes a leaf out of the UKs book by sending the same rent-a-Swede schlock they’ve been sending since 2015. I’m just confused as to why anyone in their right mind would choose to follow the UKs example but you do you France.

Germany- Violent Thing

A rehash of Sweden's entry from two years ago, but this time sung by Justin Bieber circa 2008. Kind of alright if you can stomach the singer's whiny voice, but otherwise pretty dull and kinda forgettable.

Greece- Superg!rl

Hello fellow kidz, we are hearing you like the girl power? The super heroes? The t3xt $p3ech? We made you song, please give us the votes *dabs*

Georgia- Take me as I Am

I mean… this sure is a choice. This feels like one of those songs that everyone memes on because the lyrics are kinda janky and the singer’s voice (and accent) take a bit of getting used to, but other than that it’s just one of those NQ songs for hipster fans to declare as their unironic winner at a later date. All in all this just feels like the male equivalent of one of those mid-10s fat acceptance women’s songs, only a lot shoutier and this time he has more flaws than not being skinny.

Iceland- Think About Things 

A bootleg George Ezra song, performed by a load of disinterested tumblr users in their pyjamas. Because if there’s one thing that sells me on a song, it’s being given the evils by a bunch of nerds who look like they’ll send me death threats for not agreeing with their Pokémon headcanons. To be fair, the song is kind of groovy since it sounds so 70s, but the performance is very off-putting to people who aren’t in the Eurovision loop. And also people who are, because I sure as Hell don’t see the appeal in this myself and this whole performance just feels like Save Your Kisses for Me without the charm. I feel like this would’ve come second or third, definitely with a lot of televotes but either the jury would’ve dragged it down or it wouldn’t have scored enough televotes to win.

Ireland- Story of my Life

A song that’s at LEAST ten years out of date by this point, think like an early Katy Perry, Jessie J or Avril Lavigne song. I’ll forgive it because even though it sounds like it should’ve been entered in 2013 (at the latest), it at least evokes some nostalgic memories of shitty school discos and holiday parks.

Israel- Feker Libi

The female equivalent of the Czech song. Unsurprisingly, people went wild for it when it was released. I guess only women are allowed to sing Afro-pop at this contest. Like with the Czech song, I’ll forgive it since Afro-pop is a cool genre anyway, and even though this is just another club song I can at least see myself dancing to it.

Italy- Fai Rumore

Well, at least my wish of “Italy sends a typical power ballad devoid of anything the mainstream fandom likes” finally came true. It was pretty refreshing to have a year where people weren’t shoving Italy’s entry up my nose left right and centre. In terms of my actual thoughts I can’t deny that the guy has a tremendous voice, but for some reason the song just doesn’t… click with me. I guess I like my male Italian singers a little more gruff and raspy, if you know what I mean. They gotta sound like they smoke at LEAST five packets of cigarettes a day for me to take notice.

Malta- All of my Love

Listen I am 100% rooting for Destiny Chukunyere to win this contest some day but man was this song a disappointment. It feels so… un-special and generic, like it gets the job done and that’s it. It’s not the stand-up-and-belt-it-out soul anthem I’d hoped for, it’s just… there.

Moldova- Prison

All I remember about this song is that it vaguely reminds me of that one Meccano song about the gypsy who makes a deal with the moon or something. And I’ve TRIED to remember more about what it sounds like, trust me.

Latvia- Still Breathing

The one horrible weird song you get every year which overuses strobe effects to the point it comes with an epilepsy warning. Would be bearable if it wasn't for the singer’s insistence that this is actually some feminist masterpiece when it's really just a self-empowerment club song about the singer fingerbanging herself over the fact she writes music.

Lithuania- On Fire

One of the songs everyone thought was going to win at one point, even though it seems like a surefire non-qualifier to me. It’s one of those weird entries, but not the kind of over the top, batshit insane, you’d-have-to-be-drunk-to-enjoy-it weird, the kind of subdued surreal weird. Like this is weed instead of LSD or cocaine weird. Granted my mom, who I consider to be a "typical" Eurofan, actually really liked this song when she saw it in the recaps, so who knows maybe this would have done well with televoters after all.

Netherlands- Grow

I appreciate this song for how artsy and clever it is with its structure, since it starts off acapella and the instrumental builds up with the song until it stops suddenly, symbolising a person’s growth from a child into an adult, and ending suddenly with their death (Geddit? The song’s called “Grow”). But it feels like the kind of song that would be lost on a Eurovision audience. The juries would have taken note, for sure, but the televote… let’s be honest, they’d have been too busy drunk voting for Russia to care about anything else.

North Macedonia- You

Well, it's better than the miserable dirge they sent last year, but given how I'd rather pleasure myself with a steak knife than listen to that song, that really isn't saying much. Going back to “You”, it really just feels like a diet version of Switzerland’s entry from last year, combined with Sweden’s song from 2018. What I’m saying is it’s your average “I’m a man in a club and I want to dance with and probably fuck this hot girl I just met” song, which I a new genre I just made up. You’re welcome.

Norway- Attention 

One of those songs you appreciate because it sounds nice and the singer has a good voice, but instantly forget because it’s really not all that interesting. If I sound like I'm repeating myself, welcome to Eurovision 2020.

Poland- Empires

“Rise Like a Phoenix” but sung by a wannabe Adele and not a mascara-wearing Jesus in a dress. Like a lot of other songs on this list, it’s just average across the board, likeable when it’s on, but instantly forgettable as soon as the next song comes on.

Portugal: Medo de Sentir

Pretty, but also similar to their ill-fated 2018 entry, only with a bit more energy and less pink hair. What I’m saying is this would have been another NQ unless the crowd who enjoy subtle ambience music come in to save it like they did with Slovenia's entry last year.

Romania- Alcohol You

See Bulgaria, because this is practically the same song. It’s just as dreary, just as badly sung (if not worse because holy shit this girl sounds like she’s being suffocated), and I suppose you COULD excuse that by saying she’s drunk or hungover… but I don’t want to listen to someone ungracefully mumble into a microphone for three minutes.

Russia- Uno

A classic big camp party song, the kind of song people who haven’t watched Eurovision since 2003 think wins on the regular. I can see why people would like it (especially in this boring year lmao, I applaud Russia for taking the opportunity to loosen their corset and just send a complete mess instead of their usual clinical vote grabs), but it’s just not something I enjoy. It's the song that plays into the misconception that Eurovision is just a clown show for drunk people, like this is just here to be that one flash-in-the-pan meme song that only entertains people who don’t really care about Eurovision until the day before it airs. Kind of like the old ladies they sent in 2012 (remember them?).

San Marino- Freaky!

San Marino, in true Sammarinese fashion, have yet again sent a decade-ambiguous song which sounds like it was either released in 1978 or 2003. I feel like this would have been one of those songs which could have surprised us if it had a really wacky, creative performance (think like Moldova in 2018), but this is San Marino so you know that would never happen.

Serbia- Hasta la Vista

Insert unoriginal joke about a decade wanting their shitty trend back right here. Okay maybe that’s a bit harsh, especially considering how this song is actually, yanno, unique in comparison to the rest of this year. But it still feels weirdly dated, in a way where I can’t decide whether it sounds like it belongs in 1998 or 2018. I suppose girl power ages a song regardless of when it was released.

Slovenia- Voda

Yet another standard Balkan-European power ballad which you appreciate because it’s well sung, but forget the moment it ends because it’s kinda boring. … Does anyone else have a bit of deja vu?

Spain- Universo

For some reason I feel like this song is shilling itself out to someone but I have no idea who. Aside from the horny people voting solely because the singer is moderately attractive even with that wretched Jedward haircut.

Sweden- Move

Imagine soul but… boring.

Switzerland- Répondez Moi

Imagine Arcade but… in French.

United Kingdom- My last Breath

Not the best the UK could have done, but it’s at least a modern offering unlike the residual dregs of the mid-90s that we sent throughout the 2010s. It’s definitely a bit too generic to have done any better than maybe 15th, but hey at least the cancellation means we won’t have to see it not do as well as the BBC thinks it’s entitled to do, prompting a billion clickbait articles about how Brexit somehow affected our performance.

Ukraine- Solovey

At long last we come to something you probably weren't expecting: a song I actually really like. Which is weird because I usually don't care for or don't like whatever Ukraine vomits into the contest, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a song I liked from them in such a weak year. This song isn’t for everyone, it’s white noise singing which is a very acquired taste, but this is honestly the only 2020 song I find myself coming back to over and over. And it’s in Ukrainian too, so you don’t have to put up with their usual mangled English offerings.

Markets up pre-market Monday, Impeachment vs Barr/Durham, IG Report, Updated political odds with a new wager. My thoughts for a Monday Morning

New Post has been published on https://www.rickjshandicappingpicks.com/30470-2/

Markets up pre-market Monday, Impeachment vs Barr/Durham, IG Report, Updated political odds with a new wager. My thoughts for a Monday Morning

The indexes are positive premarket this morning up around .40%. TLT is off .60% @CL is -.60% and Vix.x is +2.04%.

A mixed bag pre-market but it is an hour before the open so these can change a bit. But right now A gap fill trade could go either way as I see it. Tossup:)

My only short term swing trade going right now is in IEF. I purchased the ETF at 111.87 and it is trading at 112.03 premarket. I suspect there will be an exit this week.

I also had a few income trades expire last Friday. So I will be looking to place them back in this morning both selling naked puts and also covered calls. This is a monthly routine for me that has worked out well.

The QQQ/SPY long trade did not trigger last week. It got close but backed off toward the end of the week. So far, we do not have that long trigger. Until we do, I am not going to get serious on the long side. We are approaching the best six months of the year in a few weeks. But again, there is so much going on right now, I am going to wait until I get this signal.

Well, the race is on, and it is one hell of a race. On the one side, you have the push for impeachment and on the other, you have the IG report, Barr and Durham getting ready to drop the hammer.

It’s a very interesting dynamic. Reports are that Durham well be questioning both Clapper and Brennan shortly. In addition, he has called in a number of CIA people who were involved in the Russia hoax and also the Russia interference opinions. Most of them have lawyered up. I fully suspect both Brennan and Clapper to lawyer up shortly.

Remember, Durham is the guy you bring in when you are serious. He is non-partisan, and he is deadly when it comes to indictments and convictions. From all indications, Barr is serious and bodes very badly for the people involved in the Russia Russia Russia hoax.

A new development over the weekend is that Durham’s investigation has expanded into the Senate Intelligence Committee. Imagine that. Not a big surprise when you have Warner with a backchannel to Russia, A convicted leaker out of their staff, And their calling Don Jr. twice when Mueller did not see the need to bring him before a Grand Jury. There is little doubt in my mind that many of the members of the Senate Intelligence Committee are dirty from both parties.

Which leads to an interesting dynamic and why the race is on. Right now the chances of conviction in the Senate are minimal. However, once the heat comes down on the intelligence commitee that may well change. The Senate might just feel the need to convict to save themselves from indictments. This is no small risk as I see it. Durham is a threat to them all and the one way they can end this is to convict Trump.

Who will win the race? That remains to be seen. But so far Trump has beaten everyone that he has taken on. So my money would be on Trump.

The IG report is out in 10 days or so. That should be the first shot across the bow. Word is it will be devasting to many. We will see:)

What this all means however if you are trading is that the volatility will be wild in the markets. Impeachment fever will increase, Assination threats will increase, riots will increase, and the Trump rallies will get larger and larger.

We are finally at the end game. And it will be a wild ending, to say the least.

So, whatever you do, stay focused on not getting overextended in the markets. As they will react to the news as it unfolds.

On to the update political odds over the weekend:

Trump impeached by the end of 2019: 47/53 Against -6 pts.

Trump impeached by the end of his 1st term: 74/26 +1pt

Senate convict Trump in 1st Term: 80/20 against No Change (This is the one to watch)

Trump to get the Republican nomination: 74/26 -3pts (Another one to watch)

U.S. Presidential winner:

Trump: 44/56 against +3 pts Warren: 44/56 against +14 pts

Biden: 20/80 against +7 pts Clinton: 6/94 against +3 pts

LA Governors race 62/38 Republican Favored +4pts I laid 57/43

KY Governors race 72/31 Republican Favored -3pts I laid 65/35

MS Governor’s race 89-111 Republic Favored + 2 pts I laid 87/13

I made a new wager this morning:

I laid 40/60 that Giuliani would not be indicted before 12/31

Now, I know there have been several indictments handed down, but it is a long stretch to think that the DOJ will indict Giuliani. After all, the same DOJ gave Comey a pass on perjury and also have not indicted McCabe yet. 40/60 has to be a very strong overlay. I would put the odds at 4 to 1 against, at least. In addition, an indictment of this magnitude would have to be approved by Barr. What people do not realize is the connection between Guiliani, Barr, Mueller, Rosenstein, and Trump. There is a lot of kabuki going on right now. These people have worked closely together to fight corruption including taking down the mafia in the U.S.

To get a deeper understanding of this there is a great article outline it all:

https://quodverum.com/2019/03/75/endgame-potus-trump-s-vindication-nears.html

As a part of my sports handicapping subscription, I send out almost all of my trades via Viber. This has been a nice value-added feature of the handicapping service. At $49.00 a month for all sports plays I handicap, you get most of my stock trades. With the NFL almost here, its time to consider joining us.

If you want to follow some of my thoughts typically given after the open you can go to @rickjswings. Typically I talk about the overall day expected with the markets and also give some levels on the ES and NQ for failed breakout scalping.

It’s my private twitter feed for the stock market and its free.

Sports Handicapping is the subscription-based part of this site. But considering the cost of joining it’s almost free:)

Have a great day trading:)

RickJ

RickJ’s Handicapping Picks

https://rickjshandicappingpicks.com/investing

Skype: Ricca

hi let me answer 400 fucking questions

1. Name: Jace 2. Nickname(s): i dont have any 3. Birthday: June 1 4. That makes you (age): im almost 15 5. Where were you born (city): Vancouver 6. Location right now (planet ): in my house 7. Shoe size: uh like 8 womens 8. How many piercings?: two, almost pierced my septum 9. Tattoos?: no 10. When you wake up you're: tired and sad 11. When you're about to sleep you're: tired and sad 12. Zodiac sign: gemini 13. Chinese sign: monkey i think 14. Righty or Lefty: righty 15. Innie or Outie: innie 16. School: no Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: im really white 18. Hair colour: like dirty blonde 20. Weight: idk like 140lbs 21. Height: 5′10 i think 22. Braces? no 23. Glasses? no Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: yeah 25. If so, who?: uh someone who was not interested in me at all for 7 months  26. If not, do you have a crush on someone?: i mean 27. Who has a crush on you?: i mean  28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf?: no that shit is disgusting dont talk to me if you do that  29. Who was your first kiss: someone that i no longer talk to. dont regret it being them though 30. Who was your last kiss: my bf  31. Are you a virgin?: uh  32. Ever had a threesome before?: no  33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no whattheufkc 34. Have you ever been in love?: yes  35. Broken any hearts?: most likely  36. Got your heart broken?: well i broke up with someone idk if that counts as having my heart broken but i was devastated but i had to do it sooo idk   37. Ever liked a friend? yes ive only really liked 2 people and theyve been my friends because i cant trust people 38. What happened? they have liked me back at some point Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in?: two 40. How many were serious enough to count: two? 41. Who were those serious ones: first kiss, my bf 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: uhhhhh ig first kiss 43. What made them different: i really liked their personality and the way they presented/ i was head over heels for them for like idk 3 years 44. What happened: i wasnt mature enough to handle myself 45. Best boy/girlfriend: my fucking GIRLS taylor and claire 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: someone i recently cut off contact with  47. Ever been kissed: yes 48. Who do you want back: uhgdjgkjdfhgkjd goodbye 49. Who do you regret: no one, i think all experiences are good and if i regret someone i would hace never gotten those Experience Points 50. Why?: n/a Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: shit uhhhh like or like like by miniature tigers?? or falling for you by mxmtoom and peachy?? or cherub rock by the smashing pumpkins idk my taste is wack 52. Movie: as you are but i shared it with the person i recently cut off contact with so uh 53. Food: bro. pickles. i even drink the pickle juice when im done with the pickles. 54. Drink: orange crush man 55. Store: shopping stresses me out 56. Television show: uh black mirror? 57. Holiday: hallo fucking ween 58. Book: words on bathroom walls i think 59. Ice cream: cookie dough 60. Sweets: m&m’s 61. Crisps:  wjat 62. Type of music: i listen to a lot? i listen to electronic, indie, alternative, rock, those sad boy hour songs really whatever i have like three different playlists for my tastes 63. Artist: really into teen suicide rn 64. Word: uh 65. Time of day: 1 am outside watching the stars 66. Dressing: like. salad dressing or clothes 67. Alcoholic drink:  i dont drink anymore tryna stay away from that so i dont revert 68. Colour(s): i love blue 69. Piece of clothing: my fidlar hoodie that concert was wild i got punched in the head 70. Character: DELSIN ROWE  71. Smell: campfire 72. Shampoo: idk i use whatever is in the shower 73. Soap: i use whatever 74. Smiley:  idk 75. Board game: definitely monopoly i live out the fantasy of being rich 76. Sport: i dont care 77. Number: i still dont care 78. Quote: idk  79. Animal: still a wolf shut up meanies >::((((( 80. Actor: idc 82. Vegetable: broccoli ofc 83. Fruit: oranges  84. Place to be: on the hill 85. Thing in your room: my guitar and my ukulele my fuckibng babies dont touch them 86. Gum: uh 87. Shape: uh> 88. Country: uh? 89. Mall: i hate malls 90. Car: idc wow im boring 91. Boy's name: br idk  92. Girl's name: idk 93. Family member: my sister sh 94. Restaurant: pepper lunch is kind of the shit 95. Movie place: we literally only have one movie theatre 96. Person to go to the movies with: my friends 97. Noise: idk 98. Brand of shoe: vans theyre comfy 99. Brand of clothing: idk 100. Body part of a chicken: the gobble part the fuck is that called 101. Swear word: uh? fuck? 102. Month: october 103. Possession: ukulele and guitar again 104. Team: ? 105. Season: winter it’s cold and people can’t bully me for being pale 106. Radio station: who listens to the radio 107. Magazine: who reads magazines 108. Favourite grade: none they were all stressful 109. Least favourite grade: grade 1 110. Teacher: mme martin 111. Least favourite teacher: mme leclerc 112. Subject: band 113. Subject to talk about: music Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: my mom 115. Who's your dad?: my dad 116. Any step-parents?: no 117. Any brothers?: yes 118. Any Sisters?: yes 120. Coolest: brother/sister 121. Loudest: my parents fuck 122. Best relative: uh 123. Worse relative: someone who hit on my sister 124. Do you get along with your parents? sometimes 125. With your siblings? yes 126. Does anyone understand you? lmao ugh no one understands me;((((( 127. Do you have any pets?:  yes 128. If so, what kind and name? dog, cat, rosie, thea 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: i want a snake so bad Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? yes 132. Did you drop out?: yes 133. Your current GPA: idk what that is 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: both, sometimes we cant afford anything so like i just dont eat 135. ABC's?: what 136. Favorite class: band 137. Play any sports at school?: no 138. Are you popular? HAHA no 139. Favourite memory: uh when i failed three classes i loved that :) 140. Most humiliating moment: idk 141. Most funniest moment: bro idk 142. Most scared moment: when i thought my school was gonna be shot up lmfao Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: bacawk 146. Dog: bark 147. Christina Aguilera: oUOouIA 148. Ricky Martin: who 149. 50 cent: bottle full of bub 150. Poop: uh 151. Beach: woosh 152. Desert: the sound of sand? 153. Water: woosh 154. Osama: oh  155. Love: the sound of when you are holding your breath and then you exhale because they left but you didnt realize you were holding your breath 156. Your little brother: i  157. Butt: what 158. Clowns: get that shit away 159. Wonder: wahtr 16o. Brown: brrpoqn 161. Banana: peeling noise 162. Sex: moaning?? 163. Parents: yelling 164. Homosexuals: what 165. God: nothing Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: idk not really 167. Heaven: idk 168. Devil: idk 169. Hell: idk 170: Boogy man: no 171. Closet Monsters: no but im always paranoid someone is in my closet 172. Fortune tellings: no 173. Magic:  idk 174. Love at first sight: idk 175. Ghosts: yes 176. Voo-doo dolls: no? 177. Reincarnation: maybe 178. Yourself: no Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: not cigs, i’ll vape but i dont have one of my own, and if you got weed and want me to smoke it with you sure 180. Do drugs: weed? 181. Drink alcohol: not anymore 182. Cuss: yeah 183. Sing in the shower: yeah 184. Like school: no 185. Want to get married: yeah 186. Type with all of your fingers: on the computer not really only my middle and index finger 187. Think you're attractive: not really 188. Drink and drive: no ive had some horrible experiences 189. Snore: i dont think so 190. Sleep walk: used to 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yes omg  Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: no 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: haha yeah 194. Told that person how you felt: yeah 195. Been arrested: n o 196. Gone to jail or juve: no 197. Skateboarded: yes im so fucking bad at it though 198. Skinny dipped: no 199. Rock climbed: yes 200. Killed someone: no 201. Watched porn: yes 202. Gone on a road trip: yes 203. Went out of the country: yes 204. Talked back to an adult: yes 205. Broken a law: yes 206. Got pulled over: no i cant drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: no 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: yeah  210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yeah 213. Moon someone: no 214. Shop-lifted: no 215. Worked at McDonald's: no 216. Eaten a dog: no 217. Give money to a homeless person: yeah 218. Glued your hand to yourself:  no 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah 220. Had a one night stand: no 221. Smoked: not cigs 222. Done drugs: weed 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: i dont think so? 224. Slap someone for being stupid: lightly 225. Had cyber sex: no 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: at one point in my life i wanted to die because of it 227. Caught someone doing something: yeah 228. Played a game that removes clothing: no 229. Cried during a movie: yeah 230. Cried over someone: yeah 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: no 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no 233. Ran away from home: yeah 234. Cheated on a test: yeah Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: yes pls 236. Sky dive: yes 237. Swim with dolphins: yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no 239. Try to be the opposite sex: oh 240. Lie to the police: no 241. Run from the police: idk depends on the situation probably not 242. Lie to your parents:yeah 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: no ew 244. Be an exotic dancer: no 245. NQ- Kill the president: dont have a president Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: not shy 247. Loud: no 248. Nice: i think? im also kind of an asshole 249: Outgoing: not outgoing 250: Quiet: kind of 251. Mean: sometimes 252. Emotional: yeah? 253. Sensitive: no 254. Gay: no 255. Strong: uh idk 256. Weak: not physically 257. Caring: yes 258. Dangerous: no 259. Crazy: no 260. Spontaneous: no? 261. Funny: ive been told 262. Sweet: idk 263. Sharing: yeah 264. Responsible: yeah 265. Trustworthy: yeah 266. Open-minded: yeah 267. Creative: i guess 268. Cute: uh no 269. Slick: idk 270. Smart: no 271. Dumb: no 272. Evil: no 273. Ghetto: no 274. Classy:  no 275. Photogenic: sometimes 276. Dependable: yeah ive made some mistakes though 277. Greedy: no 278. Ugly: no? 279. Messy: kinda 280. Neat: kinda 281. Perverted: uh well im not asexual 282. Silly: what 283. A B****: sure 284. A Good Listener: yeah 285. A Fighter: yeah 286. A Party Animal: no 287. A Game Freak: i like games 288. A Computer Freak: no Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: musician 290. Dream house: fuck idk 291. Husband/Wife: someone i love 292. Kids: like 2 293. Names: , 294. Pets: doberman pls 295. Car: idk 296. Age you would want to get married: like 30 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: idk 298. Honeymoon: idk Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friends: taylor, claire 300. Known the longest: taylor 301. Craziest: taylor 302. Loudest: claire 303. Shyest: taylor 304. Best hair: i love them all 305. Best eyes: taylor has like multicoloured eyes 306. Best body: bro no 307. Most Athletic: claire 308. Hot-Tempered: both 309. Most impatient: idk 310. Shortest: taylor 311. Tallest: claire 312. Skinniest: uh skinnier is taylor shes smaller in general 313. Best singer: idk neither of them sing 314. Funniest: both 315. Can always make you laugh: both 316. Wish you talked to more: i have like 3 friends so keira 317. Wish you saw more: keira 318. Who drives you insane after a while: claire 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: taylor 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no 321. Whose always been there when you need them: taylor and claire 322. Who is like your family: taylor and claire 323. How many friends do you have?: 4 324. How many are really close? 2 Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: burger 326. Thing you drank: water 327. Thing you wore: im in shorts and a hoodie right now? 328. Thing you did:  dog walk 329. Place you went: dog park 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: my ears 331. Person you saw: my mom 332. Person you hugged: my mom  333. Person you kissed: my bf 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: idk but id like to beat some people to a juicy pulp 335. Person you talked to online: this bitch thunder that is annoying we dont talk anymore shut the fuck up bro 336. Person you talked to on the phone: my call log says my mom 337. Song you heard: beach walk by whitewoods 338. Show you saw: like concert? fidlar 339. Time you fought with your parents: idk like today 340. Time you fought with a friend: idk 341. Words you said: “yeah”  Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: burger 344. What are you drinking: water 345. What are you thinking: miss 346. What are you wearing: shorts and a hoodie 347. What are you doing: writing this 349. Hair: messy? im sick 350. Mood: gross 351. Listening to:  nothing 352. Talking to anyone: no 353. Watching anything: mr nightmare Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: no 355. Are you a carnivore: no 356. Are you heterosexual: no 357. Do you like penguins: yes 358. Do you write poetry: sometimes? i dont share it 359. Do you see stupid people: yes 360. You + Me: uh 361. Do you like the Osbournes: never really watched it 362. Can you see flying pigs: egrhf 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: no 364. Are you from Afghanistan: no 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no  366. Are you a zombie: no 367. Am i annoying you: yes 368. Do you bite your nails: yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: no 371. Have you touched someone's private part: yes why would you word it like private part Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: winter 373. Spring or Autumn: autumn im quirky hahahahahahha 374. Shakira or Britney: neither 375. MTV or VH1: neither 376. Black or White: mix of both is good 377. Yellow or Pink: pink 378. Football or Basketball: basketball 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone 380. Pen or Pencil: pencil i feel safer 381. Cold or Hot: cold it’s easier to warm up than to cool down 382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercings but i want a small tattoo 383. Inside or Outside: uh both 384. Weed or Alcohol: weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: coke 386. Tape or Glue: tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcdonalds Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: love it! 389. About boy bands: sure! 390. About suicide: i dont think people understand that someone who is suicidal, their perception is collapsed. even though they subconsciously know they have other options, they believe with every bit of them that is their one and only choice.  391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: choke  392. About teen pregnancy: make sure you can handle the child and have support. if not, get an abortion or put it up for adoption. seriously. only keep it if it’s something you want, not because you were being shamed. 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: on hastings shooting up heroin idk  394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: taylor 395. About gay men: love yall Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: no 397. Current weather right now: uh cloudy 398. Current time:  8:15 pm 399. Any shout outs: no one follows me 400. Last thoughts: fuck, 

Hyperallergic: After the Northern California Wildfires, an Artist Pieces Together a Life

Norma I. Quintana, “Forage No. 4” from the Forage From Fire series (all photos courtesy of the artist, copyright Norma I. Quintana)

Recently wildfires have ravaged the Napa Valley in northern California. To convey how these fires have affected the arts community there, Charles Desmarais, a critic for the San Francisco Chronicle, related the accounts of a few artists who lost their homes and studios to the fires. I spoke in-depth with one of them, Norma Quintana, who told me that the Atlas Fire took both her home and studio. We discussed sorting out how to deal with such a devastating loss, and what she imagines she will do next.

Seph Rodney: I wanted to chat with you about how you’re dealing with the aftermath of the wildfire that took your home and studio. Before we get into exactly what happened, I would like to give our readers some background. You’re a photography artist, right?

Norma Quintana: Exactly. I started exhibiting in 2000. I’m not formally trained. I have a Masters in Juvenile Justice Administration, actually, from the School of Social Sciences [the Mandel School of Applied Social Sciences at Case Western Reserve University]. I decided to pursue photography because it was a great vehicle for expression. I pretty much knew immediately that I was going to be a documentarian. I took some classes and experimented, but what really spoke to me was documentary work. I just started doing that.

SR: Where exactly was your house and studio?

NQ: We live in Napa, California, which is where the fire, as I understand, started; it’s called the Atlas Fire. My home was actually in a country club environment, within the country club there are homes and my home was there. My studio was in my home.

SR: You had another room?

Cover photo of Norma I. Quintana’s Circus: A Traveling Life

NQ: Exactly. I didn’t do commercial work. I did work like the Circus series [Circus: A Traveling Life] and then I had exhibitions. I’ve taught. I’ve had residencies, and then a book, and then I started this other series called, Forget Me Not. Again, using my Hasselblad and black-and-white film — not digital at all. [Now I have] to use what I have, which is my iPhone, which is totally opposite of the way I shoot, but it’s what I have.

Pre-fire I would spend a significant amount of time developing relationships or doing research, and then I would photograph. This was different, it was almost like an out-of-body experience. I immediately found myself documenting with what I had, which was this phone that I use to do little photographs and memories of friends, and what people do with the iPhone, but I took that leap.

SR: So you’re saying post-fire you did a kind of documentary project with your iPhone?

NQ: Yes. I found myself rummaging through what was left, which was really nothing, but through the ashes I’d find remnants — which is that series that people seem to respond to, Forage From Fire. You should look at this article KQED Arts just put out today.

Norma I. Quintana, “Forage No. 6” from the Forage From Fire series

SR: I read Charles’s article. He said that you were at home with your family and you saw an orange glow on the horizon and then not too long after you heard a knock on the door from the neighborhood police saying that you needed to evacuate.

NQ: We were at the house, we had just seen 60 Minutes, we were just hanging out, everybody was in bed. I heard from a friend after three calls; I went to look and I didn’t see anything. Then I went behind my house, which ironically is a fire road, and kept looking and then I saw the glow, still not thinking that fire was ever going to touch my house. Never did I think that was going to happen, never. I’ve been there for 28 years.

The police came because I think they started to see that was coming down in our direction, but we didn’t have a sense of that or warning. They weren’t going to leave until we did. I’m still not thinking the house is going to burn; I couldn’t negotiate — because I’m so visual — that the home I lived in, my photos, my art books, that everything would be gone; I couldn’t negotiate that in my head.

SR: When you had to leave, what did you end up taking, and how did you decide to take those things?

NQ: I was slightly annoyed, I was like, okay, why do we all have to leave? There’s a fire in the hills, but not a fire in the neighborhood. They didn’t tell you anything; they just said, “get out.” We basically had five minutes because they were waiting for us and they said they [would] not leave until we left.

I grabbed my phone, my laptop. We took our passports. I don’t have things like jewels and diamonds [but] I don’t think I could choose from everything that is in my home, because I have prints, collections and vintage cameras and text files. I had so many things. As I [was] leaving the house I took my car; then I went into my studio space and I can’t … what do you take? I don’t know why, but I got my Hasselblad. Then I took only two photographs, they were of my mother in Puerto Rico and they were studio shots and I just took them, I think it’s because I wanted her presence.

[We] left. We didn’t sleep very much in [my husband’s office] you can imagine. The next morning we get this message and … I’m like, what do you mean it’s gone? It was really very shocking.

Norma I. Quintana, “Forage No. 3” from the Forage From Fire series

SR: I imagine there is space in your car trunk and you don’t think of taking anything else?

NQ: No. Imagine someone saying, “You need to evacuate now; we’re not going to leave.” And then I have a little girl who’s 13, an elderly mother-in-law who I think had taken her sleeping pill, so she was kind of dragging. Then I had my son and my husband. So there was like five of us trying to leave. I think what happened is they decided to not save houses, but knock on doors and get people out. I felt like it was the wild, wild west.

Then two or three days later you got the National Guard, thousands of firefighters. That’s when they started to allow them to burn and control, then evacuate the towns, and it was really surreal.

SR: So, how are you dealing with where you are now?

NQ: As an artist and a documentarian I was a huge collector. I love vintage things. Everybody does come up to me, and they’re like “Oh, my God, your house, it’s like a museum; oh, your cameras, your butterflies …” And I [had] prints: Sally Mann, Mary Ellen Mark. When I showed work, I [would] buy work. It just disappeared. It just disappeared. So the first week I was pretty numb, but functioning, and then the second week is when it really hit me and I started to mourn the loss, just loss, it wasn’t the things, it was loss.

SR: I’m not sure I understand the difference. You’re saying you’re mourning and it’s just loss; it’s not the things. What’s the difference?

Photograph of the artist Norma I. Quintana

NQ: Well, oddly enough, this is what this journey is revealing to me. I compare it to curating: As a curator you get to see the work; [spend] time with it, but at the end of the day it goes, right? I saw myself being a curator of curiosities, of things that I found interesting that had history, that had some meaning and then I placed them in my home. I was kind of known for taking and making installations to my home. Like for example, my powder room was a chapel. So that chapel had Virgin Marys and busts of Saints and holy water and this kind of wild room. Then I had an apothecary a Chinese apothecary and on that I put anything Chinese. So I had many different worlds.

I don’t know, maybe because I’m Puerto Rican, I’m married to a South American, one of my children is from China, and my other two children were born in Santiago, Chile. That’s the way I have survived: they were things, they were beautiful things. I had the ability to curate them in my house and then they’re gone.

SR: So it’s as if you’ve made peace with them being temporary in your life?

NQ: Yes. Exactly. And you asked me how am I doing; now I’m at a place of peace and renewal. That’s where I’m at now, third week in.

SR: What are the prospects for you and your family of getting back to a place that you can call home?

Norma I. Quintana, “Tray No. 1” from the Trays of Combustion series

NQ: We’re fortunate we have private insurance [and] we are surrounded by an incredible community, so we have support in terms of housing. The other thing [is] I think I have the belief that I’m going to recreate what I had. My loss really was about a sense of home so when I would cry I would cry about that, home, security, a place of memories and it was gone.

SR: Do you find that being with your family makes that sense of loss more poignant or alleviates that for you?

NQ: I think both. I think yes, family and my husband who is the love of my life, I’ve been with him since we’ve been 18 years old — that’s pretty strong. I don’t know. It’s because I’m an immigrant, daughter of an immigrant — they’re from Puerto Rico and I know what it’s like to not have anything. I often would just open my eyes in my home and be thankful, I really can say that honestly. So then this work came up, this Forage From Fire, which is so different, but it seems to be moving a lot of people.

The post After the Northern California Wildfires, an Artist Pieces Together a Life appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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Eurovision 2010s: 30 - 26

30. Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz - “Midnight Gold” Georgia 2016

When rating Eurovision entrants, it’s important to also take note of the journey, and Nika Kocharov had one of the best ever? Similarly to The Shin, everyone was just about:blank towards “Midnight gold”, not understanding the concept and ranking it last in unison. Like Shin & Mariko, I was mostly intrigued and willing to give it a chance. Unlike the Shin though, I thought “Midnight Gold” was a good song for its genre, just not one I was that entheused by. The revamp, which provided the setting of a mad scientist’s laboratory, was a step in the right direction, providing a hint of entropy, a dash of absurdity, a spark of insanity.  And then, at long last, the dénouement:

STAINS OF MUD

ON UR SKIN

THE NIGHT WILL COME

AND SO WILL SIN

Winning LIFE *and* everyone over with that <3 I don’t think ANYONE could have anticipated that “Midnight gold” would deliver a non-stop absynthe-minded ACID TRIP in Stockholm. 😍   The visuals were so ICONIC they are still setting the special effects bar in the present day. This is Sacha Jean-Baptiste’s best staging. Period. Not “Euphoria”. Not “Alter ego”. Not “Fuego”. "Midnight gold”. BY FAR. Would it be even considered a stretch to go as far as saying that “Midnight Gold” has the best staging of any Eurovision entrant to date? I don’t think it does, but it is definitely a contender. 

Who would have thought that THIS song would become one of the more memorable, epic entries of a great year such as 2016? Of course the flawless staging also made me retroactively appreciate “Midnight gold” as a song as well and I regularly give it play time whenever I can. 😍 STAINS OF MUD. 

ps: I don’t care about fashion much, but I want his hat.

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29. Naviband - “Story of my life” Belarus 2017

[2017 Review here]

HEY HEY! HAYAYAYA HO!

What superlatives can I still use for describe the pure, unshattering LIGHT that is “Historija majho zyccia”? It leaks mirth from every pore, infecting everyone around it with the irresistable urge to tap their feet along to the HEY HEY HA JA JA HO’s!

At the center of this wonderful hovercraftian masterpiece lie Artiom and Ksenia, two of the most adorable humans ever to exist, who are also a couple irl and it shows. The two have chemistry and charisma in spades, especially Ksenia who is the living embodiment of the “^__^” emoji. I am ALWAYS happy when I listen to this song and I am thrilled we got to hear it twice. 

Eurosnob contempt for happiness is a well-documented feature in this ranking, but it reached its nadir with Naviband: You see, in addition to being ‘A Happy Song’ (a term used with contempt, imagine that O_O), Naviband are also folk singers from Belarus, who -shocker- sing in Belarusian.  However, don’t be harsh on the Eurosnobs because the area of the dopamine receptors in the brain of a Naviband hater are always attached to a person who isn’t living happily ever after. Naviband is life at its best. EMBRACE IT. Like this Lithuanian frump did:

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28. Måns Zelmerlöw - “Heroes” Sweden 2015

lol I JUST spoke about “Midnight gold” having one of the best, but not the best staging. Well, that’s because “Heroes” is, in my opinion, the most visually impressive Eurovision entry of all times. 🤗  I don’t think it’s even a stretch to call it that? “Heroes” as a song is widely regarded as pretty whatever, winning due to its act. However, while I don’t necessarily disagree this is why Måns won, I feel this take very much undersells Måns. Using it at an excuse to dismiss his goodness is ridiculous.

First of all; “Heroes” IS a really, really good song. Infectuous, upbeat, irresistably positive with highly quotable lyrics (”now go sing it like a hummingbird the greatest anthem ever heard” 😍) and an earnest anti-bullying message (<3). It may not be *as* original as some of the entries ranked around it on this list, but it definitely handles its own, with and without an act.

Another defining factor in making “Heroes” a great entry is Måns himself. Måns Zelmerlöw is arguably the most attractive human to ever set a foot on a Eurovision stage. The man is irresistable even on a platonic level. He puts every other charismatic performer to shame and does it effortlessly. 

However, even with these two trump cards, the staging is indeed the best part of “Heroes”. It bears repeating that I think this is the best Eurovision act to date. Impressive visual effects, flawless choreography and impeccable camerawork elevate “Heroes” to a much higher level. It tells it story with more clarity and efficacity than any other entry I can think of. 

Ultimately, Måns staging is a testament of his goodness, and an acceptable reason for winning Eurovision. Because of “Heroes”, many countries have upped their staging game, resulting in more visually impressive entries (specifically the Sabotage Baptiste ones in 2016, and Sergey I guess), which is a positive development. Live music isn’t so much about which song you perform, but about how you perform it, and “Heroes” is the best example of that.

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27. ZiBBZ - “Stones” Switzerland 2018

[2018 Review Here]

WILD JOKAH ON A GOLD THRONE

Here we are again, our annual appointment with everyone’s favourite sibling alliance. 😍 “Stones” is powerful kick-ass diamond of indie-rock and a serious contender for my favourite Swiss entry of all time. 

The song is a masterclass in mental health awareness and  self-empowerment, dismantling bullying and depression with perfectly timed percussion and AHUMs, truth-bombing lyrics and an insanely charismatic lead who sounds like Joss Stone on five packs a day. 😍 It’s catchier than ebola, more addictive than sugar and soars higher than a kite. 

In addition to all of that jazz, “Stones” is also responsible for some of the most iconic visuals in 2018:

God the shot of Coco with the flare still sends shivers down my spine. WHAT A CRUSADER OF THE DOWNTRODDEN. 😍 Whenever I’m feeling down, this is the song that lifts me back up again. 

Really, the only thing not good about ZiBBZ was the camerawork and that wasn’t their fault. FY Hans Pancake. 🙄 If ever there were a robbed NQ who deserves a Genovaesque return, it’s the Zibblings. BRING THEM BACK!!! 

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26. Paula Seling & Ovi - “Playing with fire” Romania 2010

Speaking of highly addictive songs, holy cow Ovi I need rehab for that beat alone because I CANNOT get it out of my head.

Anyway, who else would be the #1 for Romania if not for Paula Seling and Ovi? “Miracle” was a beautiful example of tacky taste, but “Playing with fire”, man, :takes a sip of gin:, now that is the real stuff. 

I’ll start, I guess, where I’ve begun my write-up which is the composition: “Playing with fire” has one of the best underlying beats in this decade, which gives it infinite replayability. Layered on top of that is some delightfully aggressive piano (😍), on top of THAT some amazingly playful lyrics (”BOY BOY BOY If we’re mean, i would start a fight tonight” songs about playfighting <3) and on top of THAT, Paula Seling. Paula is the STAR of this performance, stealing the show every time she’s shown with deliciously flirtatious facial expressions

and some vocal masturbation in the guise of a dolphin impersonation.

 She and Ovi and ignite the place with both insane pyrotechnics and spontaneous chemistry. So fun, SO GOOD, so dynamic especially for an act where the main singers sit down in front of a double-headed plexiglass piano (😍). Duncan Laurence DEAD in a motherfucking DITCH. 

And with this update we have eliminated FIVE countries. Check their reviews below:

GEORGIA

Georgia is such a bizarre Eurovision country, often churning out absolutely BONKERS entries that leave Europe stunned in silence. <3 It may not be reflected in their vital statistics but I always look forward for what they have on offer because even in the rare case of them being boring, they are always interesting. 

BELARUS

Belarus was one of the worst countries in the 00s, but in the 2010s they’ve evolved into a bargain bin Moldova, which makes them solidly good. It’s really astounding that a country SO GOOD at being entertaining gets dismissed so easily because of their flag (and dictatorship (and gay rights)). They’re mostly good and 100% worthy of our time, tyvm!!

SWEDEN

The worst part of Sweden’s success streak is that it made them conceited and lazy. They no longer need to be innovative, creative or entertaining in order to get a top five position and worse, they are fully aware of it. This resulted in a marked drop in quality and if they don’t curb their hubris quickly, I predict it will soon come back to bite them. (ie: another NQ)

SWITZERLAND

B A S  I C. Zibbz and Luca did a lot of the heavy lifting here, which caused Switz to mathematically outrank Sweden, and while that’s hilarious it also feels absurd and wrong. Don’t be fooled by all that green though. Switzerland are basic bitches and have no idea what to do in order to be cool. 

ROMANIA

Romania are one of the better hit-or-miss countries in Eurovision, imo even if the chart doesn’t fully reflect it. The problem I have with them is that their entries don’t have a long shelf life. Like, the Cezars and Ilincae of this world grow stale very quickly because they’re exhausting and shallow. Having said that, this is by far preferable over being consistently boring (UK) or violently oscillating between great and demonic entries (Germany, Demark). 

Eurovision 2010: 35 - 31

35. KEiiNO - “Spirit in the sky” Norway 2019

During the preshow I posited that "Spearwhil”  would be the Rasmussen but as it turned out-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIGHT

No, Tom NOT NOW!!! I’m in the middle of my sentence. 🙄 Wait your turn Anyway, it turned out that ‘the Rasmussen’ really ought to be called ‘the KEiiNO’. Observe this Michal-esque rise up the scoreboard:

OutSzpak’ing Spzak. 😍 Let’s be honest though, it was-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NI-

- COMPLETELY DESERVED TOO.  Fred was especially great, who delivered EPIC yoik solo that I am sure won KEiiNO the televote on the spot. 😍

This particularly pleases me because I was worried Tom & Alexandra (who are both very good performers) would take the spotlight away from Fred, but no did the weakest link pre-show turned not only turn out to be the strongest one, but he was arguable the single strongest performer of finale night. SO PROUD OF THEM ANGELS. 😍 Let us all sing along

*cough* I said, “let us all sing along”

... 

(k Tom, now is ur cue)

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIIIIIGHT

THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE DANCING

HÅ LA HEI LOI LÅ

A lot of the criticism from KEiiNO comes from your typical value-seekers who can only enjoy themselves in public if their shallow trash comes coated in a thick layer of novelty gimmicks and Deep Meaning, so they don’t have to admit to others and themselves than they tune in to have fun, like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with novelty gimmicks & the like, but applying that standard to everything is taking it a tad too far. Sometimes, simplicity is key and that’s exactly what KEiiNO were: unpretentious, highly-addictive EDM adorned with epic yoiking. 😍 

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34. Gianluca - “Tomorrow” Malta 2013

"Tomorrow” is, to use Gianluca’s own words, a curious delight: I always, always, always forget about it. Then I rewatch 2013 as I do at least once per year, and each time it’s like a Céline Dion song IT’S ALL COMING BACK TO ME and I’m in love again. 😍 “Tomorrow” is such a clever twist of the typical love song by telling the story from the THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE by an all-knowing narrator. It’s world’s merriest audiobook. 😍

Naturally, this works because Gianluca has TONS of charisma. He’s one of the most magnetic humans ever on a Eurovision Stage? 

It’s hard to believe that he ages like the rest of us, I’d assume he was birthed fully formed and clothed, at age thirteen, in whatever rests at the end of a Neverlandian rainbow. 

“Tomorrow” could’ve so easily been one of those “Annoyingly Positive songs”, but because he’s so relentlessly jolly, Gianluca injects “Tomorrow” with limitless happy energy, enough to melt the polar icecaps. I am happy that I don’t revisit Gianluca between watches, as I do with others, because each time I rediscover him it’s like finding a four-leaf-clover. 🍀

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33. Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - “Samo shampioni” Bulgaria 2013

IMA LI MLADI? IMA LI LYUDI? TSYALO SELO DOIDE PEITE NE SE BOITE

Let us continue with one of the most glorious trainwrecks EVER in Eurovision. 😍 Of course, this being the GOD-tier the severity of wreckage (aka the Sennek Factor) is even higher than normal. In the case of “Samo shampioni” the messiness began DURING THE PRESELECTIONS. 😍 Okay you may not remember or know this backstory, so allow me to enlighten you:

Okay, so *initially* BNT selected Elitsa & Stoyan and for some reason decided to hold an NF: They introduced: first a terrible rapbomination, second a boring ethnoballad (think Iriao + percussion) and then pulled out an experimental fusion of ethnic bagpipes, polyphonic singing and dubstep, which Elitsa openly pointed as her favourite. 😍 Obviously, the audience had to choose for the latter? NOPE The audience chose the iriao-esque ballad 😍 and in one of the most hilariously open displays of riggage, LESS THAN A DAY AFTER THE NF (and after Elitsa allegedly threw a huge backstage temper tantrum threatening to withdraw LMFAO), BNT produced a statement that was all like “well. we can’t send “Kismet”. 🤓 You see... it has come under our attention that... the songwriter from Argentina (lmao) can’t agree to the copyright terms we demanded of him 🤓but that’s fine because it means we can send “SAMO SHAMPIONI” instead 😊‘ <3333333333333333333333456789 who the fuck is Christer Björkman, fucking NOBODY that’s who. And of course, once “Samo Shampioni” finally got to Malmö it was an utter disaster. 😍 I say "disaster” in the best meaning of the word though. I LOVE when countries showcase their musical traditions, but Elitsa and Stoyan do it so aggressively, BLASTING the unassuming viewer with loud af bagpipe noises, following it up with a menuet of polyphony, a clarion of “AAAAAAAAAAAA-YUUUU” and a finale of dubstep and mayumaniacal percussion. “Samo Sampioni” was loud, abrasive, a clamour of ethnic noise but by the same token such a catchy, infectuous, delightful fucking BOP. No surprise it got jurypwned but it was well worth the effort. 😍

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32. Nadav Guedj - “Golden boy” Israel 2015

Welcome to the Dicedrome, ladies and gentlemen: Introducing the man who put Israel back on the map after four straight NQs. But Nadav is more than just a Hebrew Tom Dice. 

For starters, “Golden boy” is also the first time we were ever subjected to Doron Medalie (and also Imri Ziv but lol Imri), who is at his BEST here (apart from that moment when he brusquely shoved Cesár out of the way as if he were Krisse Salminen lmfao 😍): “Golden boy” has everything I could want in an uptempo party song: Drama, catchy rhythm, limitless fun, chanting, dancing and an absolutely ridiculous premise: sixteen year old boy gets wasted after fruitlessly flirting with all sorts of femfolk on his first night out. Yes, THIS

is sixteen years old. 😍 But what I mostly love about “Golden boy” is the humour. Intentional humour is really hard to get right and “Golden boy” NAILS it for me. From self-deprecating one-liners, to that choreography to b-roll material like the sound effect of beer being pourn as Nadav gets further into the song, to of course the epic finale of “THREE MINUTES! BYE :selfie”. 😍

A wild ride which, as serendipity demands, is topped off by Nadav kicking off a strong Israeli streak that indeed ENDS up with Israel winning the contest (with a worse Doron composition :-/) and him showing us around in Tel Aviv. Funny how life works sometimes, huh? 

OKAY GOTTA GO  THREE PARAGRAPHS BYEBYE

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31. Jessy Matador - “Allez ola olé” France 2010

Did you know “Matador” is Eurospeak for “SLAYER”?  😉

Speaking of EPIC party songs, I was looking “Allez Ola Olé” up for my usual ranking purposes and this song.. is one of the most successful Eurovision songs EVER? I am not surprised, because “Allez olla olé” OWNS, but at the same time random 12th placers becoming massive off-season hits <3

(yes I am aware it’s because it was the French “Waka Waka” but that’s even more hilar, actually. What on earth is it doing in Eurovision <3)

Anyway, “Allez ola olé” definitely DESERVES all praise it can get. ETERNAL THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE EUROVISION ELITISTS <3 it is of course the anti-Proud, being all rhythm and no story, literally having no purpose other than making people dance (which I LOVE doing to “Allez Ola Olé”... within the confines of my bedroom, with the curtains closed because I have the dancing skills of drunk JarJar Binks) and honestly, what a spectacle. 😍

It features, in order of ascending awesomeness, male twerking (gender equality <3)

witty references to sex (which I don’t mind here because it’s clearly consentual, and therefore, healthy, ICKOLAS)

“Je sens le truc monter/..😏 ALLEEEEZ 😱”. 

DAM BA DAM BA DAM BA DAM DAM

A fucking HAKA????? (btw, the female backing doing a salute is also lowkey great <3)

Actually, TWO HAKA’S????

This song may not have relevant meaning but my weave flew all the way to French Polynesia. “Allez, ola, olé” is nothing less than fucking AWESOME. 

In this update, we pay our final respects to Norway, Malta and France: Read more about them below:

NORWAY

I don’t feel like this chart reflects my true feelings on Norway, because I like them a LOT more than what their average implies. They’re largely just dragged down by a few bad entries in the first half of the decade. Norway in the second half of this decade has shown a lot of promise and they are on my list of countries that I expect to win in the upcoming decade. 

MALTA

Malta are a very average Eurovision country imo. As you can see, they very often select songs that are not worth giving a fuck about, but conversely the few times that they do, they’re usually excellent happy-go-lucky gems. I could see them winning if they find that rare 1-in-50 entry (by one of their jesc winners preferably), but only if they keep internally selecting their entrant because lmao MES(s)C <3

FRANCE

This is a really good chart for France and roughly what I expected. Not my favourite country but solidly upper tier. France really have reinvented themselves post 2016 and are reaping the rewards with generally higher results. I hope it gets topped off with another win soon. They deserve it. 

Eurovision 2010s: 20 - 16

20. maNga - “We could be the same” Turkey 2010

You could see it in my eyes, it should come as no surprise that the highest rock entry on this ranking is OF COURSE the avant garde rock entry. 😍

It certainly isn’t a stretch to call “We could be the same” avant garde because it’s an experimental extravaganza if ever there was, a rag-rag fusion of indie rock, industrial, hiphop and folk. 😍 More importantly one that WORKS. It’s really hard to put all of these genres together and not disturb the flow between each segment, yet that is exactly what maNga do. Their song runs like an oiled machine, supported by an excellent score of orchestral rock (the fiddle is an especially nice touch.) The snappy libretto keeps the ensemble well together, creating an atmosphere of pure coolness. 

This brave and creative entry is further supported by an act that has a well-defined aesthetic and artistic vision. (another sign of good avant garde. Pay attention because we are going to boot a LOT of them near the top of this ranking). MaNga don’t need much in terms of staging (since their song is already excellent), so a clever combo of strobe light seizure + dramatic helmet removal (FEATURING ACTUALLY CUTTING METAL AWAY WITH A BUZZSAW) is all it needs. 

FOR JUST ONE NIGHT WE COULD BE THE SAME

NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. 

Eurovision is all about taking the hand that you’re dealt and running with it. maNga did exactly that. They weren’t vocally perfect but again, rock is a genre where it’s okay to sound unimpressive because the score will always out class you. They don’t have the best song, but again, it was something special, brave and inspired. Every small aspect of “We could be the same” comes together into a whole that is much bigger than the sum of its parts and for that, I shall always cherish them. 

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19. Joci Pápai - “Origo” Hungary 2017

[2017 review here]

I was worried that Joci’s NQ in the latest contest would tarnish his legacy, but if anything “Az én apám”’s failure at being entertaining only made me appreciate “Origo” even more.😍 Let us not beat around the bush. “Origo” is art. Like all art, it’s largely hit-or-miss. You either love this wonderful fusion of rap, self-references to Samuraihood and gypsy folk traditions, or you’re a unevolved troglodyte with subpar taste.😈 Lol I remember the music journalists and juries HATING “Origo” and... honestly, I get it. Yes. I can understand that deeply personal anectodes and proudly displaying your cultural heritage can fly over the heads of those narrow of mind. It’s fine. Not every song has complex meaning. You can vote for the “Replays” of this world at your heart’s content. ^__^

Music is at its core a form of expression, of conducting emotion with sound, of telling a story. We use words as a crutch for our empathy, but truly good music doesn’t need to rely lyrics in order to spread its message around. The true message always lies in the score. “Origo” shatters those language barriers by slowly,

 but steadily

unfolding a melancholic and touching narrative

that strikes everyone silent.

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18. Krista Siegfrids - “Marry me” Finland 2013

A WILD DINGDONG HAS APPEARED

Only logical we continue from artistic complexity to figurative cotton candy. 😍 but the same musical principles apply here as well, actually. “Marry me” has an upbeat tempo flanked by wedding bells that already carries its happy-go-lucky marriage vibe across even before the first words are spoken. 🤗 It is there to indulge and delight, which it does with all the zest and pluck you’d expect from Krista Siegfrids. 

Anyway, I’m sure this will shock you but I FLOOOOOOOOVE Krista Siegfrids soooooooo fucking muuuuuch as a human and I am NOT backing down on my fanboyism. She’s one of the few Eurovision Alumni that ALWAYS makes me happy whenever she appears, either as a force of HIGH FASHION/UMK hostess or as a resident melfest flop queen.😍  HON SNURRA MIN JORD!!!

DINGEDONG EVERY HOUR, WHEN YOU PICK A FLOWER~

As it happens, “Marry me” is the perfect canvas for her over-the-top, realhousewifesque personality. "Marry me” just delivers non-stop: it has a light-hearted, infectuously catchy beat, doubles down on lyrical and visual comedy, carries a happy vibed with a deliciously psychotic undercurrent, supplemented a superb act featuring a groom-into-bridesmaids twist and some hilariously opportunistic lgbtq pandering 😍 OH OH OH OH OH

DING DONG!!!1!1!1!11!1!!

ps: this being the entry that caused TRT to withdraw indefinitely because they can’t get on board with some hot girl-on-girl action. STAY PRESSED LOSERTWATS!!!

________________________________________________________________

17. Laura Tesoro - “What’s the pressure?” Belgium 2016

“YOU’VE GOT A STUPID SMILE 😄” -- Alexander Rybak, when praising Laura Tesoro during the NF. (😍)

Lol this is where my degrees of separation come in, because I’ve met several people that personally know Laura Tesoro and... with one exception they ALL fucking loathe her. 😍 (and aforementioned exception is her cousin 😍)  The general concencus re: Laura is that she’s an insufferable conceited bitch. Now, this could have easily ended up terrible if LauraLaura was That Unfounded Girl but... um,

can we say she has grounds to be a bit high on herself? She was fucking awesome in Stockholm. If anything Laura’s diva id helped “What’s the pressure”. First of all, there is the admirable confidence with which she takes the stage and completely NAILS every twist and turn with minimal effort. This is pure performance TALENT and if you can’t see that you’re Helen Keller. 

And second there’s the message behind “What’s the pressure”, which is uplifting and cheerful in the hands of a normal person, but when brought by a narcissist like Laura becomes a hysterical exhibit of concern-trollery: “HEY PERSON SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY ~I~ *NEVER* SUFFER FROM ANXIETY. LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU SUFFER FROM ANXIETY AND I DON’T” (god what an obnoxious human 😍 LOVE HER. 😍) 

All in all, I think Laura has the justification she needs to have an ego, something her aforementioned haters (begrudgingly) admitted after seeing her own the live twice.🤭  She is a living conduit of confidence juju, a performance wonder, a Diva trapped in the body of an antropomorphic labrador. Dynamite comes in small packages and Laura Tesoro is more lit than Chinese Newyear fireworks.  🎇________________________________________________________________

16. Hovi Star - “Made of stars” Israel 2016

I’ll be honest, Hovi Star is one of my favourite human beings to ever participate in Eurovision.🤗  He has proven himself an UNSTOPPABLE force of sass, delivering interview gold on a terrifyingly consistent basis. There are enough examples, but the ones I’m going with are his impeccable Ira Losco Snatch Game  and his hilariously petty, one-sided feud with Douwe Bob (Dutch reporter: “what do you think about Douwe.” Hovi: “Oh I don’t think about him.😊 At all.🙂  Ever. 🙃 *hairflip*” god what a King of stonecold putdowns 😍)

Having said that, even though I loved Hovi as a ~human~ going in, I was still caught off-guard by how much I loved “Made of stars”. See, you know what I think about stripped down power-ballads: I don’t think about them. At all. Ever. *hairflip*. 

However, this fucking song

pulls all of my heartstrings

with mesmerizing efficacity.

“Made of stars” showcases the best of Israel: they excel at classical drama: well-choreographed and sentimental, “Made of stars” is a genuinely touching ballad which Hovi magically imbibes with the spirit of Conchita. He whips up emotional tension so thick only his wit can penetrate it.

As an entry “Made of stars” is very emotionally intelligent and so, so brave. It has clearly defined yet subtle undertones of homosexuality that make me feel represented and loved. It is staged in good taste, elegant, introverted and clever, yet accessible, direct and poignant. The middle-eight’s crescendo-into-starfall creates a bone-chilling moment of beauty, of pride, of empowerment. 

For such a simple entry, it delivers a lot of great things, proving once more: it’s not what you perform, but how you perform it.

And this update spelled the end for Turkey, Hungary, Finland and Israel.

TURKEY

Not much to say, honestly. Turkey have three entries in this decade and two of them were good. They are a hit-or-miss nation for me overall, mostly because i LOVE them in the 80s and 90s and somewhat dislike them in the 00s. What mostly bothers me is TRT’s attitude towards the rainbow community AND their self-entitlement towards the jury vote/big five. Both are highly toxic and I’d rather they keep on sitting out until they’re willing to become a healthy part of the Eurovision community again. 

HUNGARY

Hungary are a good Eurovision country and their statistics reflect that. Boggie of COURSE ruined it by being the worst, but she’s an exception, not the rule. They are a really good country for indie gems and hopefully they’ll get their shit together. Could make a nice outsider winner pick in the upcoming decade, who knows?

FINLAND

Finland is such an underrated eurovision nation. I mean, look at that chart, and then ponder on the fact, with 7 good entries out of 10,  they NQ’d six times and that NONE of their four qualifiers reached the top 10. Finland are bullied beyond belief and it fucking needs to end. 

ISRAEL

This looks more underwhelming on paper than it is in reality. Israel’s probelm is never the song. Their songs are nearly always good. The problem is the live performance, where they get their accents wrong (ie: Mei dying from wideshotitis, Kobi being reduced to a sobstory, Dana being a giant penis joke, Harel fucking up vocally and Netta being reduced to a parody of herself). They just need to lighten up more, which they did post-Nadav resulting in a few great entries, and Toy. Overall, Israel are one of my favourite Eurovision countries, and for good reason: when they are good, they are fucking excellent. 

EUROVISION 2018 #5 & #4

05. SWITZERLAND ZiBBZ - “Stones” 32nd place

~*Wild Jokah On A Gole Froam*~

Yanking away the top NQ slot in this year’s ranking is, of course, everybody’s favourite Sibling alliance, ZiBZZ!! 

As you know, I looooooooove mental health awareness songs, and I particularly love those with approaches that work (*cough* NOT “Goodbye” *cough*). While most of these songs are doused in motherly, cloddlesome tones, “Stones” doesn’t beat around the bush and argues that one must confront their fears HEAD-ON. 

To transliterate the (ridic, amusing) lyrics into Common English: 

“People have always been shitbags and have treated others like crap for aeons and there’s nothing I can do about it because people won’t fucking change.. SO fucking WHAT? Why would let those assholes affect my present and future the same way they’ve influenced my past? Fuck that noise. It’s time to let the inner demons rest, grow as a person AND help others get out of the deep end while doing so.”. 

Holy fuck what an epic Truth BOMB, I can relate to all of that scalding hot tea. The best way to get around depression, anger and frustration *is* to 1) remove you from the toxic environment 2) find kindred spirits and support each other 3) find the courage to leave your past behind and build a future for yourself. Mental health is a BATTLEFIELD that HITS YOU with its best shots (did I just ref Pat Benatar twice? 🤭) while you’re struggling and “Stones” acklowedges this reality so hard. About fucking time someone lit the flares of ferocity to stand up against BULLYING and HATE. ALL HAIL COCO the ZiBB, FIRST OF HER NAME, THE UNDUN, MOTHER OF FLARES, KHALEESI OF THE DOWNTRODDEN, NON-THROWER OF STONES, BREAKER OF TABOOS, QUEEN OF THE HURT, TORMENTED AND BROWBEATEN. 

Ain’t the only one who don’t wanna throw stooooooooooones

But of course, message alone isn’t enough to get such a high ranking, but fortunately ZiBBZ delivered musically as well. “Stones” has the perfect type of melody for Eurovision: catchy,  repetitive and accessible, but never boring or tiresome because the arrangement was spot.fucking.on. The horns and tuba’s give the music so much gravitas, the backing AHEMs are excellent  and CoCo’s five-packs-a-day type of gravelly voice adds so much realness to the song. "Stones” as a whole is jarring and complex and succeeds at elliciting the emotional response it aims for. This is my favourite song of the 42, by no small margin. 

And then there’s the staging, which... I have mixed feelings about, not gonnal ie. It saddens me that even at this high a rank I must again resort to critique. I mean, the ACT was great. That motherfuckin’ flare is one of the few goosebump moments I got from this year, Coco is Minerva in a hipster body, Stee is a lovable goof, but... you have this amazing, dynamic song that is capable BLOWING EVERYONE AWAY and it  kinda... doesn’t? 

I would say that “Stones” was mostly hampered by its camerawork, which was mostly AWFUL. Which idiot [Hans Pancake 🙄] is responsible for framing such a powerful, uptempo song with slow, drawn-out shots?

I mean, shots such as this one:

(why didn’t they just focus on Stee??? or the audience?)

and that one:

(You can clearly see Coco throwing away a drumstick at the start of the preformance... Why the faraway shots?? Why no close-ups when she’s drumming happening???? NO ONE CARED ABOUT SANNA’S LIGHT CAGE SO WHY WOULD THEY START CARING NOW??? (seriously, fuck you Hans Culpepper))

This is the reason why “Stones” failed to ensnare the audience’s attention. Wrong people with the right to stage and ZiBBZ can’t do anything about it. I chose to not take it into account when I decided on their final ranking, but it’s sooooo frustrating to see Switzerland FINALLY strike the motherload and fall flat because of some moronic cinematographic decisions. Now watch Switz pick something mediocre and be overrated by the Basics/NQ once again (lol I say this without having listened to the Swiss songs, but can you blame me?). Oh well, ZiBBZ have since moved on to better things -

- and so should we :). Still praying they pull a Poli in five years or so. THE WORLD NEEDS IT

04. SLOVENIA Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!” 22nd place

Damn’ this is such a tough decision. Cutting entries loose at this point really hurts y’all.

So as you know, I really, REALLY fucking love Lea Sirk and even said that, in the unlikely event that she qualified, she’d WIN the ranking. However, while I am probably obliged by contract to grant her the first place, I can honestly say that... I like my top three more?  Lea could have easily won this ranking, had my opinions on Elina, DoReDos and Ieva stayed the same; but they didn’t (they went up obvi), so here we are. The above paragraph is just a disclaimer to explain why Slovenia don’t rank higher than they do, because holy fuck this "Hvala, ne!” was awesoooooooooome. Anti-establishmentarian trap-pop that was a shock qualifier and made a flashy gimmick work TWICE <3 There’s a reason why the Good Gays Fanbase (do I include myself in that? hmmm 🤔) have nicknamed it “Hvala Slay!”. 

But first, (-- Julie Chen-Moonves) let’s discuss the PHENOMENON that is Lea Sirk. My love for her predates this contest by several years, from the time when I only knew her as the botty cyborg sidekick to the heiress of the Ravenclaw Empire herself, Tinkara Kovac. 

“KEN U BEE-LIEF ET???”

who happens to be *my* fave of Outstanding Eurovision Year 2014 (Yes, over Conchita, go cry) and is a contender for fave entry of the decade. The Summer of 2014 was a fantastic experience, partly thanks to Lea and I will forever cherish her for that reason. So when this beautiful dubstep fae was selected to rep Slovenia, now sporting a lilac killer braid, a trashbag jumpsuit and a cabal of slut-dropping dance devas of destruction... like *instantly* fanning my proverbial clit right there. It only got better during Lea’s pre-show content, proving her not only cool chick onstage, but off the stage as well. Having a teenage girl crush on Waylon <3 (Confessing this IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE WHICH INCLUDED BOTH WAYLON AND HER HUSBAND lmao bless <3). Impersonating Salvador on some Slovene version of the Soundmix Show <3 There’s no way Lea couldn’t deliver in Lisbon.

And “deliver” is underselling what Lea did, holy fucking hell that live was EVERYTHING. It’s hard to even name what the brightest shining star of their performance was, since Slovenia brought an entire fucking galaxy  of them. I’d say the best thing was probably the choreography, which managed to be spellbinding, professional and hilarious all at once.  Lea and her dancers-in-crime put on an amazing, electrifying show, aided by dynamic camerawork and lighting (Take note, Hans Pancake 🙄). 

My personal fave thing about “Hvala ne!” however was that it QUALIFIED BY A COMFORTABLE MARGIN AND WOULD HAVE UNDER ANY POINTS SYSTEM <345871 I love a deserving shock qualifier (see: Albania), but when it happens to a preshow fave of mine that I considered all but doomed (and a contender for last in the semi). . . There are no superlatives in my glossary that can describe the state of elation I felt when Lea was announced as a finalist. Netta might as well cede her trophy because the Eurogaes were the actual winners of this year 💗🧡💛💚💙💜 “Hvala, ne!” more like “HVALA motherfucking SLAYS HATERS” amirite???

Granted “Hvala, ne!” was the same in Lisbon as during the preshow, with only two marked exceptions. One was Lea had added a chorus in shabby Portuguese (”OBRIGADA NAO NAO!!!” <3) which was hilar, and the other was... the break!

Granted the semi break was kinda *blah* to me. “Zomg the music dies riiiiiiight before the bridge how coincidental”. Sure, Jan. Either way, I found it moderately funny, mostly because of the random extras that were clearly being paid by production to oversell it <3 

But the best thing was that it WORKED and brought Lea to the finale where she performed a SECOND break and this one was downright epic. The audience actually sang along with her <3 <3 <3 <3 Two different instances of the same gimmick and making it work BOTH times <3 When will YOUR faves???

I suppose that, at the end of the day, “Hvala, ne!” was an experimental song that you either love or hate. Why anyone would ever hate this radiant nymph is beyond me, but whatever. My ranking, my rules, ya shallow fools. I *loved* this bizarre mix of K-Pop and Hip-Hop, sung in Slovene and Portuguese, (which is the most unique combination of languages ever featured in a Eurovision entry, I’m sure <3), with badass self-referential lyrics that SLAM DOWN musical conformity in a year that was all about rewarding it. In other words PRECISELY WHAT THIS CONTEST NEEDED. You know, there are plenty of countries out there that have never scored a top five in Eurovision and probably never will until they find their monster runaway winner (Lordi, Salvador). I *hope* the next one is from Slovenia. Raiven performing a song by Maraaya, with Lea and BQL as the back-up singers. Come on y’all, let’s make Eurovision Great Again. Hvala, slay, slay, slay, slay

 RANKING SO FAR

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)

A wild day in the markets Thursday, are whistle blowers a thing of the past, updated impeachment odds. My thoughts for a Friday morning

New Post has been published on https://www.rickjshandicappingpicks.com/30400-2/

A wild day in the markets Thursday, are whistle blowers a thing of the past, updated impeachment odds. My thoughts for a Friday morning

The Markets are slightly green this morning after yesterday’s wild ride. TLT is +.38%, @CL is +1.05% and VIX.X is -.73%

That is reasonably positive this morning. The upside has some potential today for a follow-through.

I am long QQQ at 183.73 and long GDX at 27.30. So far no exit, however, a follow-through day to the upside on QQQ will almost certainly signal an exit for me.

Position sizing is critical in these trades. Yesterday was a good example of QQQ. The swing yesterday was almost 200 pts! A report came out early that tanked the market about 100 pts and then voila, back up we went. If you were overextended you could not have stood the swing. Myself, I just watched with interest:)

As I predicted the flood gates are now open for fake whistleblower complaints. The rule change allowing hearsay has made whistleblowers obsolete. And has now created another tool for the left and the fake media to use. This should never have happened, and when it did happen the doors should have been slammed shut on it immediately.

But, Republicans in the only way they know how, let it slide. The Senate intelligence committee should have been all over this. Subpoenas should have been issued within days, the ICIG should have been put under oath and the entire process should have been exposed. There should have been requests for criminal prosecution sent to the DOJ within a week.

This is serious stuff. It threatens to shut down the government completely. Now I know many establishment republicans do not like Trump, for a number of reasons. The biggest being he is cutting off their big inflow of money from special interests. But if they think for a second this is not going to come back and bit them they are wrong. This will now be used against every Republican candidate running for office in the country. It’s bad enough these fake sexual 30-year allegations are rolled out like candy, but now we are reaching a different level.

Tucker said it best in the title of his book about Congress ” Ship of fools”.

I always like to look at the odds each morning to get a sense of reality that you do not get from the news. It’s far from perfect as there are many good overlays in political betting.

Impeachment by end of this year:  52 to 48 against. Impeached first term  71 to 29 in favor Convicted by the Senate his first term 81 to 19 against.

That is the closest to the reality you will get, forget all the spin.  If I were betting these, I would be staying away from the impeachment bet as the Dems are on full self destruct. On the Conviction even at 4 to 1, I would lay the 4 to 1. I put the odds at closer to 10 to 1 if not higher. Just 2 days ago it was 3 to 1.

I had to laugh when I saw Brennan express dismay that Durham wanted to talk to him.  Reality will be sinking in fast for the people that engineered this Russia hoax. Durham is the guy you bring in when you are serious. This means Barr is serious and that is bad news for all involved in this scheme.

For the markets, this means more volatility. As the vise starts closing the rats will get more and more desperate. and nothing is off the table now for them. As news hits, much of it fake, it will roil the markets. So be aware of the risks right now. We are in uncharted territory. There will be an opportunity as the market always overreacts. But it’s the timing that is the issue.

We are approaching the best months of the year soon. But with the political turmoil, I would not be that enthusiastic to get fully invested, as I usually do that time of year. I am going to take a short term swing approach and take it a day at a time:)

As a part of my sports handicapping subscription, I send out almost all of my trades via Viber. This has been a nice value-added feature of the handicapping service. At $49.00 a month for all sports plays I handicap, you get most of my stock trades. With the NFL almost here, its time to consider joining us.

If you want to follow some of my thoughts typically given after the open you can go to @rickjswings. Typically I talk about the overall day expected with the markets and also give some levels on the ES and NQ for failed breakout scalping.

It’s my private twitter feed for the stock market and its free.

Sports Handicapping is the subscription-based part of this site. But considering the cost of joining it’s almost free:)

Good Luck Today

RickJ

RickJ’s Handicapping Picks

https://rickjshandicappingpicks.com/investing

Skype: Ricca