#so it wasn't even like unanimous weird stuff pumped at us. it was like conflicting weird stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eats-the-stars · 5 months

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I feel like there are roughly two kinds of "painfully weird kid" that you can be during your K-12 school years. the first is your "I am trying so hard to be normal but I just cannot seem to hit the mark. there's just something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it" and the second is the category I was in, which is your "everyone around me is so incredibly weird but they obviously can't help it so I will just have to accept this."

#being a deeply weird kid in school was definitely an experience #i feel like it's also heightened when you attend a private catholic school #there are just so many more layers of 'oh wow so this is...a thing' to deal with #like i honestly think the shit that private catholic schools do to a kid's head is worse for the normal kids #i was already at a point where i just accepted that my personal perspective of the world was radically different #and you really weren't going to convince me to start loving denim or perfume or makeup #so trying to get me to feel a bunch of religious guilt was also not going to work #i just added it to the long list of things that are important to most ppl that i just don't give a shit about and moved on #honestly being autistic in a private catholic school put me in a much better spot than a normal catholic student #the teachers would say something absolutely batshit insane #like telling us that 'mentally disabled' kids get a free pass to heaven because they have no original sin just like animals #(if u know ur catholic shit u can imagine the multiple layers of 'but wait!' involved in this statement but anyway)#and your normal catholic student would be like 'what?! for real! oh my gosh...but are you sure? oh you are. well...i guess it's true then..#whereas i would be sitting there like 'wow that is...a wild thing to believe. also u were staring at me for that whole speech so...'#like yeah i did get involved in the heated debates because it was hella fun #but in hindsight it would be really fucked up to be an actual catholic kid in that school because jesus christ...#a lot of our teachers even had strong disagreements over belief shit and would make us all take sides #so it wasn't even like unanimous weird stuff pumped at us. it was like conflicting weird stuff #one intense divide i recall was the simple but highly controversial 'do animals go to heaven?' debate #most said 'yes' with or without conditions #one teacher said 'yes and also disabled kids' which was fucked up and definitely directed at me whenever i was in the room #like some kind of fucked up 'it's okay because you'll get a better life in the afterlife sweetie' kind of thing #while others were like 'ANIMALS? in my heaven? I think not! what did they even do to earn it?! nothing!'#students tended to also be very invested and distressed by the thought of no family pets in heaven #but also very conflicted based on the facts being presented by both sides and also which teacher was their favorite so...

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