#so im literally . ignoring it until 6pm n then im grabbing my phone
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#did smth stupid n now i am . pretending i dont have a phone so i cant see the actions of my consequences#i rlly should not touch alochol it makes me way too cofident for my own good (and reckless)#anyway theres like 3 possible scenarios#i got ignored / i got rejected / hes given me smth to work with#so . only 2 of those im okay with tbh#getting ignored would kill me bc then thatd mean . i was right and he was screwing with me BUT i highly doubt that happened#im just terrified of what the contents of it would be#so im literally . ignoring it until 6pm n then im grabbing my phone#i hope its buried under 1000 notifs and i can . not have anxiety#its not breaking nc if he broke it first#6pm is a safe bet bc he could b at work which means i dont have to worry !#or wtv. why am i stressing abt this#its fear out of not knowing . like i know illl be fine regardless. bc then i know where i stand and . what i have to do#like if i got rejected i wouldnt . go n date but at least tats an answer yknow? wouldnt hhave to spend anymoretime in this headspace#i could actually move on and focus on Ttying to want to date again.#bc a lot of the last 6 months has rlly just been bettering myself and dealing w my trauma wounds#idk does this make sense#anyway. we ball dont drink kids
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