Will Wood & the Tapeworms: Hand Me My Shovel (Live)

awake but at what cost - nonsense below

gonna start off with possible motives for palamon that i mentioned to loneword

consider ; yor did what he did to shin not only because he knew shin was with the light, but because he was a blank slate. a person no one knew where yor was a man who had become a legend and fell from it. people would only compare him to that fall, and even in the dark persona of dredgen yor, all he had been known for was killing people and being tainted.

shin? a nobody, who saw firsthand what the dark could do to someone, and that it might make him curious enough to try and find out why, and see that the darkness held potential for those who could master it without themselves becoming overwhelmed by it (willingly or not).

shin had nothing but endless potential laid out before him and he delivered. if you haven’t read for every rose, a thorn then you probably shouldn’t be reading this at all so be warned. shin malphur walked the line of dark and light for who knows how long. he could have very well been the person who started the shadows. because, who better than one that had seen firsthand what it can do to someone, to guide others into a path that walked between? 

shin managed to dance with the darkness and master it without being completely consumed, both of light and dark, and he could have made the shadows simply to help others also realize that potential. the light can only do so much against the dark as we have seen, but being of light and dark leaves you ready to take on anything (should one not be overtaken by it).

which is what yor wanted. he wanted someone, anyone, to realize this and carry the idea forward so that people may finally stand a chance against those that work solely to see an end to humanity. if anything the red war proves that fact. when the light was trapped by ghaul i wonder to what degree the shadows suffered, if at all. from one of the lore entries it is suggested that only another’s light could have killed dredgen yor. how many guardians would still be alive if they had been playing along both sides? how many more people in general would still be alive if more understood what yor was trying to prove?

things are gonna change in the portrayal here for sure. yor’s motives for creating a throne world and subsequently leaving it would only be to see if his plan for shin, worked. seeing as it had, his only goal afterwards would be to continue on and try to show people that the darkness is not a complete enemy, for those who can tame it. 

his outlook on the shadows, the real ones & not those who simply want more power, is going to be quite positive (though he still will be irked by the creation of other thorns lol). yor will still readily kill those far more tainted by it, and people who bother him to no end because that is just how he is. others taking on their own path of darkness will continue to interest him.

as far as interactions go, esp with guardians that are light aligned only, he will try to tempt them and kill them all the same. despite all he has done there is reason behind his madness and the dark has taken an incredible hold on him given a direct curse from a hive wizard. its a ‘do as i say not as i do’ sort of deal for him, leaning far closer to the darkness than he should be. which would be the reason why he does not directly work with the shadows or try to keep close contact with them. the shadows could very well want to kill him should he show up ! (good luck)

non guardians will be relatively alright if they leave him alone, same goes for alien life that interacts with him. there won’t be any inexplicable reason for him to kill people not of light and not really one for him to kill lightbearers unless it can press his goal onwards (or y’know, they bother him). 

going on to the whispers. in some lore that was released last season i believe, yor can read/write/possibly speak hive. and his ship had bone growths over it. that being near/in it made the shadows searching out yor’s history ears bleed from the whispering voices of thousands of unknown forces of the dark. they are quite volitile and dangerous. 

less will i be writing how they fluctuate but more so how they are just guiding him about to do w/e, not that he necessarily listens to them but we will occasionally talk back seemingly to no one (if i read it right in one of the new things drifter is said to speak to someone not there and that may very well be the whispers themselves he is speaking to since he was a dredgen at some point so?). 

the largest change here for my writing of him will be a shift from him wanting people to rely on themselves and not guardians for protection. what he wants, what he thinks people need, is people to see that siding on the far side of light and only light is not going to get them anywhere but to ruin. on the flip side the same can be said about the darkness.

im sure ill add more onto this at some point but for now i need to take a look at all my threads and figure out what needs to be dropped, and what can be tweaked into working. i’ll toss up a list with the @’s of people i have threads with and links to them so ppl know what’s up as far as interactions are concerned. c: 

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE BC I CAN READ WORDS SOMETIMES. processing words tho. a different story la u g h s

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - thoughts after reading it for the first time

OKAY OKAY OKAY as usual this will be a mess cos there IS A LOT to discuss so good luck trying to make any sense of this ashjsjhajh

Once again i’m gonna take some time to reinforce my feelings about my baby Harry. HE IS GROWING UP SO FAST HELP. I love him so so so much and it was soooooo SO SO SO interesting to see him get a taste of dark magic with the Half-Blood Prince’s book. Like I really need to analyse this further later. it’s so interesting to his character and this whole “harry and voldy are connected” thing. to see him actually get help and learn more from this dark magic and actually enjoy it and defend it throughout the whole book was just sooo cool to read and it shows that anyone even the chosen one can get tempted by dark magic. I really wish this would have been explored further in the series but seeing there is only one book left i’m not gonna get my hopes up. This also makes me think of that thing dumbledore said about harry not being able to be tempted to the dark side because he’s protected by love. I really loved that moment between the two and it made me just wanna hug harry because he couldn’t understand how that made him special and i wanted to shake him and be like HARRY YOU ARE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE. But i find it interesting that this was said after we have spent a whole book watching him get tempted by dark magic. sure it’s not the same as joining voldy but I think it’s really telling that he saw just how powerful and helpful dark magic can be and we got to see firsthand along with Harry, why dark magic is so tempting to wizards and witches. AND I LOVED THIS ASPECT OF THE BOOK THE MOST !!!

This would be the part where i talk about how much I loved fred and george in this book and YES I LOVED THEM but i have a bone to pick: there wasn’t enough of them smh. I better get so much more of them in Deathly Hallows or i’m gonna scream. They are two of my faves hands down and every scene with them makes me laugh and smile. I need my comedy relief.

Okay im gonna critique another thing IM SORRY if this is super controversial and mean, but what the hell is with the romance in this? don’t misread this I LOVE ROMANCE so so so much but i wish we got an actual romance with a deep and meaningful connection where we could be like “oh he’s so into her” without harry saying “oh so i like ginny now” like shsahjjhas IT WAS SO RANDOM !!!! and it feels sooooo awkward. The tonks and remus thing at the end was also random and awkward. idk i kinda want to see characters form a close bond instead of just being told HEY SO THEY SUDDENLY LOVE EACH OTHER JUST GO WITH IT. I do like ron and hermione tho. I mean that’s been building up for ageeessss and the drama was super fun lmao teenagers. ALSO if you are gonna force ginny and harry on me at least give me some angst but nope he just kisses her and we’re good to go. AGAIN IM SORRY I FEEL REALLY MEAN SHJASHJS i’m being really harsh right now but who knows i might change my mind after the last book sjhhjsahasj

ahhhhhh man okay okay i’m gonna address the elephants in the room. SNAPE SNAPE SNAPE SNAPE SNAPE i got one thing to say to you...

seriously guys i think the worst part of this is just,,,,,,,,HARRY AND I KNEW AND DUMBLEDORE WOULDN’T LISTEN TO USSSSSSS UGH IM SO MAD AND FRUSTRATED EVERY TIME HARRY WAS LIKE “UH SIR, HE’S A FAKE ASS BITCH” DUMBLEDORE WAS JUST LIKE

idk it’s just i can’t explain the feeling guys, i just feel so frustrated and unsatisfied??? like something feels incomplete it doesn’t feel right?? does that make sense? like i have this really weird incomplete feeling about this situation. something is missing. Why was Dumbledore, the most powerful wizard ever, so convinced Snape was on his side??? like something is SO OFFF im just so FRUSTRATED AHHHHHHHH like he pleaded with him too HE PLEADED whats going on here??? i feel like i need to read dumbledore’s diary or something because THE BASTARD FORGOT TO EXPLAIN TO US WHY HE WAS WILLING TO IGNORE SNAPES OBVIOUS EVIL ASSS???? im sorry i guess i’m at the anger phase with my grief right now sahjashj

THE HALF BLOOD FUCKING PRINCE alright you guys trust me when i say i have never been more disappointed and devastated in my whole life. I think I only mentioned it once or twice but I REALLY GOT MY HOPES UP that it was lily. I’m super in love with her from the tiny bit i know or have seen of her and I REALLY WANT MORE OF HER BACKSTORY and i really convinced myself it could be her cos i’m an idiot. sure when harry began using spells that basically sliced a person up, i kinda figured it wasn’t her anymore, BUT SNAPE??? RIGHT AFTER KILLING DUMBLEDORE??? im- WHY i swear all this series does is make me feel pain. I don’t know what hurts more, that harry has been learning dark magic from Voldy’s right hand man all year, or that this probs means i’m never gonna get Lily backstory :((( there is only one book left.

i’m really depressed about dumbledore dying. the scene itself was so painful and good tho i will not lie. especially with malfoy like, i really really feel bad for that kid. he didn’t wanna kill his headmaster? he’s just a kid who has been given this horrible order that he literally can’t refuse. I’m sad. and then harry not being able to move and having to watch it all under his invisibility cloak? :(( AND THEN THEY TELL US THEIR MISSION WAS ALL FOR NOTHING AND IF THEY DIDN’T GO DUMBLEDORE’S DEATH COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED JUST LIKE SIRIUS’S FUCK ME UP.

OH and i’ve already worked out who R.A.B is and im so excited to hear how that story goes. he has tea on voldy and i wanna hear it.

Also i remember making a comment about obsessive love being foreshadowed at the start of the book, and i guess that turned out to be voldy’s parents? his mother used a love potion on him so he is the subject of obsessive love instead of real love and i guess that’s important because harry is protected by love and thats something voldemort doesn’t have. so i guess that’s what it is?

ALRIGHT so what is gonna happen next? i really don’t kn- oh wait i do know this time cos harry told me. him, ron and hermione are gonna hunt down the horcruxes like a fun treasure hunt but with PIECES OF VOLDEMORTS SOUL instead of like chocolate easter eggs or something. and that’s about all i know. im so scared to see how it ends im just AHHHHHHH i just hope my faves survive and end this thing happy.

Also i really really really wish i’d get lily backstory im sad because james got a WHOLE BOOK dedicated to his time at hogwarts and his patronus and his friends and what he was like and everything but lily just gets a guest star appearance in snapes memory where he says a slur at her because he’s the worst. (i really don’t get dumbledore trusting this dude when he loathed both of harry’s parents like that god) but yeah i really want lily time but i don’t think it’s gonna happen UGH UGH UGH

so yeah asjhsahj im really excited and nervous to finish this series AHHHHH it’s gonna be weird officially knowing everything im not ready sjhsajash also i feel sad for fawkes :((