#so WHYYYYYY can I not just feel any peace or confidence anymore why did I do this to myself
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*smacking myself in the face* SHUT UP BRAIN SHUT UP
#like girl this is NOT something I need to spend every waking minute stressing out and making myself miserable about#and YET#LITERALLY LOOSEN UP I WANNA BE ABLE TO BREATHE AGAIN#Lu rambles#literally nothing has happened I went out with the theatre boy ONE time and we chatted and it was fine. I said some stuff#that in retrospect was probably super awkward but like that's life. like it was just a chill hang out except for that#I HATE social situations. theatre is one thing bc it's With A Purpose but just sitting and talking to someone#is REALLY REALLY HARD. I feel small and terrified like a frightened animal.#but it was fine! it was literally fine!!! at the end we were both like ''we should hang out again sometime'' even though#neither of us is sure if we want like... a Relationship(TM). we're just hanging out bc we get along well. it's Normal#so WHYYYYYY can I not just feel any peace or confidence anymore why did I do this to myself#I wish I'd never said anything to him in the first place. like it was chill and easy to just be friends but now?? UGH#I literally do not care enough to be THIS freaked out about it and I know that logically and yet my brain won't stop panicking constantly#I just want to RELAX 😭#shrimp emotions
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