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werezmastarbucks · 4 years

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Whitmore Guy: scheming

whitmore guy masterlist

word count: 1986

music: lana del rey - salvatore, twenty one pilots - anathema

He was still giggling minutes after they left.

“Why the long face?” he asked, as they were walking up the stairs. “Still upset about that necklace?”

“FBI’s not good news, Mal”, she said and scratched her nose.

“Because of all the vampires in the town?”

“Exactly”.

“Well, then, it’s not good news for them”, Mal shrugged, “don’t you guys, like, hide the bodies very well?”

“Didn’t they seem a bit off to you?”

“There we go”, he chanted apologetically, “you’re paranoid. They gave me an impression of very unprofessional guys who need more sleep. What did you read in their faces?”

“You yourself acknowledged that their question about odd weather was ridiculous”.

“And that’s what it was”, Mal stood at her door, holding onto it, his other hand resting on his hip. Y/N just noticed that he was wearing a t-shirt with a Xenomorph and a Predator stylized as Beavis and Butthead. Mal could be many things at the end of the day, but there was no arguing that this t-shirt was one of the coolest Y/N’s ever seen in her life.

____________________________

Y/N rarely needed someone, but when she did, Mystic Falls folk was always there. That was one thing Mal didn’t understand about them, being here for not too long, and not getting into the depth of what living in the most cursed town in the country was like. Damon might be a jerk; he’s cold, brusque and condescending, but he also saved her life not less than thirteen times. Getting a bit angry was his way of caring. That is, it of course didn’t mean they didn’t try to change him.

The warmest of them was Elena Gilbert. Who didn’t know her? She didn’t even visit Whitmore because she was always busy at the hospital, but Mal managed to hear everything about her. That she’s stunningly beautiful, that she’s got the most tremendous hair and a face like a doll, that she’s a very promising young nurse and that she’s engaged to Stefan Salvatore, the marble boy, as Mal called him.

There were unbreakable ties. And they always found a way to ring when bothered. And they always vibrated when an emergency council was needed.

Everybody had a specific place in the Salvatore living room: Caroline always sat in the middle of the big couch. Elena usually was prepped to her thigh. Alaric preferred the little armchair turned against the window, so that he doesn’t have to touch knees with anybody. Stefan always stood at the fireplace, like being a little away helped him concentrate better. Damon sat on the armrest of the big couch, or shuffled around with bottles at his alcohol table. Bonnie walked to a fro, annoying him beyond belief. Y/N liked to take any free space and stretch out her legs, but it had the be the spot from which she could see Damon’s sanctuary and wink at him when she needed a drink. He was always happy to contribute to somebody’s alcoholism. He liked drinking buddies.

“Okay, we have two things to discuss”, Caroline said in her general of army voice, and Y/N almost expected her to pull a huge notebook and a pen out of her bra.

“First: the weird FBI guys who pissed Damon off”.

“I said, nosy FBI guys, not weird”.

“Whatever. And the dinner party that Y/N’s organizing this weekend. I suggest we start with the important stuff”, Caroline’s cat-like eyes pierced her with attention.

“How many people are we talking? What music will you have? What is the theme? Any team games in plans? What’s the menu?”

Y/N smiled as Bonnie rolled her eyes, and nodded to Damon. The vampire moved to his special table without any hurry.

“I also have a question about it”, Ric raised his hand, “can I skip?”

“No”.

Y/N’s been thinking about the ways she could grab Mal by the ass. Except literally wanting to do it, maybe, one day in the future; against all her instincts warning her, she meant to expose him and his lies. And she needed everybody to be there. To hang out with him in an enclosed space. She imagined this going all the unexpected ways: Elena sniffs something out on him, or Caroline notices that he takes the fork in the wrong hand; Bonnie brushes elbows with him and gets a vision which will tell them everything. Wise old Stefan asks him a cunning question and he pops. Something like this.

“Mal Osbourne’s just lost a woman he loved very much, and he feels alienated and sad”, Y/N accepted the glass from Damon and looked in his frowning face.

“Didn’t look alienated to me yesterday”, Alaric demurred, “he was jumping all round the teachers’ room, happy as ever. I actually found it very strange, given his reaction when Damon… killed her”.

“You think it’s a good idea to put Damon and him in the same room?” the younger Salvatore inquired.

She nodded. Damon shrugged. He didn’t really care for the disgruntled relatives or boyfriends of those he killed. If he did, life would be a nightmare.

She wasn’t sure about it at all but decided to go with her bullshit as far as she could. She needed to clash him with the real life. See what colors come out.

“How is he holding up?” Elena asked.

“Seems fine. Acts fine. I’m sure he holds it all inside”.

Nobody thought to contradict.

“Can we talk about how he knows that we’re vampires?” Caroline narrowed her eyes and crossed her legs.

“He figured it on his own. Said you guys were very obvious”.

She felt a pair of green eyes watching her closely. Bonnie rested her elbows against the sofa’s back and gave out a little satisfied smile.

“Are you into him?”

“Come on. Everybody knows I’m still desperately in love with Damon”.

Bonnie was left content still. Salvatore collapsed on the couch opposite her and rolled his eyes.

“It’s going to be a little party, only us and him. Mal cooks, so all the food will be on him”.

“Does he know Damon will be coming?” Stefan wouldn’t let go. Y/N sighed and put her hand in her pocket, feeling for her phone. She called him right away, put the call on the speakers, while everyone else was watching her curiously. Mal picked up after the fourth ring. There was music on the background that he didn’t bother to turn a bit down.

“Sup, monster fucker”.

She could see Elena’s eyebrows go all the way up.

“Mal, I’m having a dinner party at the weekend at my place”.

“AWESOME!”

“You’re cooking”.

“You bet! What do you want?”

“Something for four vampires, a witch, Ric and us two”.

He was silent for a second.

“Oh. Is the moron Dummy coming, too?”

Damon’s face was full of painful indignation.

“Yes”.

“For fuck’s sake”.

“Can you make it?”

“Yeah”.

“Will you try to kill him?”

“I don’t know…” Mal’s voice had suggestive uncertain undertones.

“Please don’t”.

“Ok-kay…”

“Cool. See you at work”.

“Wait. Does he have any allergies? Can vampires have allergies?”

“Bye, Mal”.

Bonnie was perplexed. She exchanged looks with Elena. Ric looked properly miserable. She imagined pairing them two while playing Alias. She would have so much fun.

“That’s done”.

“He doesn’t sound sad at all”, Caroline confirmed.

“And you start noticing there are things off about him only now. While I told you that like a month ago”.

Everybody shifted dismissively.

“Whatever it is, I will deal with it myself. You guys concentrate on the FBI douches”.

“Did they bother you much?” Stefan asked.

“No, but they seemed so… not FBI-like”.

“Have you met a lot of FBI agents?” Bonnie asked, visibly amused.

Y/N shrugged, getting up from the couch.

“I’ve seen enough movies. I’ll go get some air”.

She passed the long hall and went out to the yard of the huge mansion. Night was very gentle. Bright marbles of stars shone in the perfect black matter, distant and therefore harmless. She knew well pretty things could hurt. Every time she raised her eyes to the sky now, something poked her in the lung, like a rib that was crooked. The pain was phantom but strong nonetheless.

Sometimes she wished she smoked. She walked over to the nearest trees to listen to them and not the voices from the house. One caught up with her anyway.

“Don’t wander too far off, or you’ll stay in the forest forever”.

Y/N turned to the voice and let her eyes get used to the darkness. Wide branches of the apple tree hid the lights from the windows. Stars faded away from the sky.

Damon touched her elbow lightly and led her to the bleak golden puddles of light on the grass.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you”, he said, and paused, making her wonder if he finished the sentence in his mind but failed to utter.

“Yes?”

“This Mal guy, did he ever tell you where he came from?”

“He says he’s from Ohio”.

“Hmm”.

“Notoriously known as the state that produces weirdos… I guess?”

“You still think he’s pretending to be somebody else?”

“I don’t know. I take it easy”.

Damon nodded, his eyes flickering with silver stars in the pale light.

“I wanted to ask you something, too. For some time now, actually”.

He looked at her attentively.

“Last November, do you remember?”

Salvatore cocked his head and said slowly,

“Uh-huh, there was a November”.

“We were in Georgia after Matt died, looking for his killer. And I got really sick so I stayed behind in the motel”.

He nodded again. His face expressed nothing.

“What did you do there? What happened there? Why did everyone return so distressed?”

She inhaled, and her voice quivered a bit.

“And why do I feel so bad ever since?”

Damon frowned.

“You never said it, little one. Bad – how?”

“Don’t- not you. Don’t pretend I’m the one who’s going nuts. What happened, Damon? We went to that pit, that place which takes away memories, and ever since then I’ve been completely restless”.

She couldn’t grab the idea. Every time she tried to think about it, her mind came undone in a thousand pieces, and she felt like she was old, and forgetful, and drunk. There was that little thing that stung her brain, making it numb, there was something that made her want to cry – and yet, she couldn’t catch it like she was blindfolded.

“Y/N”, he took her shoulders with warm palms. Damon’s intense stare was intoxicating. Even though it didn’t really make her knees weak anymore; she couldn’t look away. “I would never – ever – do anything to hurt you. You know that. You see that tree over there?”

They both looked back to the house at the slender, tall, unusually golden and fruitless apple tree reaching up and up, for seven years now. Sure she remembered. The day when Katherine tried to bury her alive, and she cried. And shivered. And suffocated. She went through such terror she thought she would never emit a sound again. Until Damon came, breaking the earth and the casket, and reaching for her. And then, he planted that damn seed on that very place, to remind her about that fucking day. He admired that golden tree, so sophisticated, full of unexpected magic, seemingly out of nowhere, glistening even in the night.

She sighed.

Maybe it’s easy. Maybe it’s right under her nose, and she’ll be very angry when it uncovers itself. And she’ll say, I should’ve known.

She looked in Damon’s concerned eyes.

“You gotta promise you’ll be nice to Mal no matter what he does or how he acts”.

“That’s a lot to ask. The kid’s annoying as he-” Damon cut himself and raised a finger. “Wait a sec”.

He disappeared in the dark of the yard, without a sound.

Of course, it didn’t take a sec. Damon was gone for full ten minutes, and Y/N went back into the house, preparing herself for the FBI talk.

#kai parker #damon salvatore #kai parker imagine #kai parker x reader #vampire diaries imagine #legacies #whitmore guy

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deadmandairyland · 5 years

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I promised I’d do this and I’m doing it. First match I’m simulating in Fire Pro Wrestling World: Junko Enoshima vs. Chihiro Fujisaki in a Landmine Deathmatch! (With Kokichi Oma as special guest referee)

...And by first match I mean second match, because no one was thrown out of the ring with my first simulation, so I had to adjust some of the CPU logic. I mean it’s a Landmine Deathmatch. What’s the point of having one if no one is thrown out of the ring?

Unfortunately there are no screencaps. Still not sure how to do that. However, I shall provide you all with some play-by-play:

First up we have Junko Enoshima of SHSL Despair. Her moveset consists largely of troll moves and heelish tactics, and she often taunts her opponents during the match. She also has a tendency to pull weapons out of hammerspace, including a pair of brass knuckles. Her finishing move is the Danganronpa Bomb (or the ”Big Body Bomb,” which may or may not be the Dangan Bomb, which is what I was going for).

Next up we have Chihiro Fujisaki of SHSL Hope. Being a relatively scrawny fellow, he has no actual lifting moves (unless a Russian Legsweep counts as one), and he’s too nice to do anything too heelish, so he relies mostly on slapping, knee strikes, submission holds, technical grappling, and basically anything that involves him grabbing hold of something and jumping, letting gravity do the work for him. His finishing move is the Codebreaker (basically a move that incorporates both the knee strike and the grabbing hold of something and jumping tactics, if you’re not familiar with Chris Jericho).

And now for our special guest referee. For the record, I would have made Monokuma if I could, but surprisingly Spike Chunsoft showed some amazing restraint by not putting Monokuma in the game... as far as I’m aware. I mean there is a bear, but I can’t make one side of it one color and one side of it another color. So we’re stuck with Kokichi instead.

Kokichi Oma is a bit of a trollish referee, though maybe not as much of one as I could probably make him (I’ll have to experiment with this a bit). His fall count is faster than normal, and he’s slow to count DQs and ringouts... not that that’s going to matter in a Landmine Deathmatch. His checks are also longer than normal, though that probably won’t come into play either.

Now on to the match:

The match starts off with Junko and Chihiro trading blows. They then do a test of strength, and Junko trips Chihiro with a drop toe hold.

Chihiro gets back up. He gets behind Junko and puts her in a waistlock. Junko responds by swinging her leg back Stone Cold Steve Austin style, kicking Chihiro in the groin. Poor Chihiro.

Junko puts Chihiro in a bow and arrow lock, and the crowd gets an eyeful. Junko probably flashed them on purpose because she’s Junko and she loves that despair, yo.

They do another test of strength, and Chihiro gets tripped by Junko again. You’d think Chihiro wouldn’t have fallen for that trick again, but oh well.

Chihiro gets up and Junko immediately Irish whips him into the fluorescent lights propped up in the corner. Oh by the way, there are fluorescent lights propped up in the corners.

Chihiro gives Junko an arm wrench and smacks her arm with his elbow. He gives her another elbow for good measure. Then he goes for a pin, probably wanting to end this match early after getting driven head first into fluorescent lights. I don’t blame him. Anyway, Junko kicks out immediately.

Junko gets up and Chihiro slaps her in the face a couple times. Then he gives her a Ric Flair chop, complete with a Ric Flair “Woo!” Junko responds my throwing him into the fluorescent lights again.

To Chihiro’s credit he keeps fighting back, kneeing Junko in the gut and giving her another Ric Flair chop. Junko responds by putting Chihiro in a headlock and punching him a couple times while he’s defenseless. She puts him in another bow and arrow lock. Gotta get that fanservice in somehow.

After another series of punches, Junko grabs one of Chihiro’s arms and grinds her elbow into Chihiro’s face. Then immediately after Chihiro gets back to his feet, Junko gouges at his eyes. Then she literally grabs him by the crotch. Chihiro just can’t catch a break!

Chihiro tries to fight back with a knee to the gut, but Junko grabs him by the crotch again and immediately afterwards gives him a low blow for good measure. Then she laughs maniacally at his pain. Poor Chihiro!

Chihiro continues to fight back, but Junko has his number and throws him into the fluorescent lights again. Then Chihiro tries to get revenge by throwing Junko into the lights, but the lights are already destroyed in the left corner, so it’s pretty ineffective. Then to add insult to injury, Junko throws Chihiro out of the ring and into the barb wire and landmines. This has just been the worst day for Chihiro.

Chihiro, bless his heart (and bleeding skull), gets back into the ring, but Junko throws him into the lights in the right corner. I feel bad for redoing this match now. Sure, no one blew up, but the offense was pretty 50-50 by comparison. Chihiro’s just getting wrecked here.

Junko lifts up Chihiro’s legs and falls, headbutting Chihiro in the groin. Typical Junko.

Chihiro gets revenge for all the shit Junko’s putting him through by throwing her out of the ring and onto the landmines. Knowing Junko, she probably enjoyed that.

Junko gets back into the ring and throws Chihiro into the fluorescent lights. Then she headbutts Chihiro in the groin again for good measure.

There goes Chihiro into the landmines again.

Chihiro gets back into the ring and starts fighting back like the badass underdog we all knew he was. Junko gives him a Manhattan drop (...basically another low blow). Chihiro is so fed up with all the groin attacks that he straight up slaps Junko in the face. Then he jumps on her back and does a sleeper hold and body scissors combo on her, taking her down to the mat. The crowd goes FUCKING NUTS FOR THIS.

Feeling the despair of everyone cheering her opponent, she decides to celebrate the occasion with more low blows. She clearly does not want Chihiro to have children in the future.

Junko puts Chihiro in a waistlock, and once again somebody takes a page out of Steve Austin’s playbook, but this time it’s Chihiro, who puts his head under Junko’s chin, grabs her by the head, and falls to a sitting position, which has to have done wonders for her jaw. And the crowd is eating it up! They are completely behind this underdog.

Chihiro puts Junko in a headlock. Junko pushes Chihiro off of her, knocks him down with a punch, and stomps on his stomach for good measure.

Chihiro gets back up. He slaps Junko in the face again, gets behind her, and gives her a falling neckbreaker. But Chihiro is clearly winded, as Junko gets up to her feet first. You can probably guess what happens next. That’s right: she headbutts him in the groin again. Chihiro responds by slapping her in the face again immediately after he gets up.

Chihiro gets behind Junko and gives her a Backstabber--an ironic name, I assure you. He goes for the pin. Kokichi’s going for the count! One! Two! And Junko kicks out! The crowd is going wild!

They get back to their feet and Chihiro slaps Junko extra hard this time--Tanahashi style, in fact. Junko, naturally, goes for another low blow, and she laughs at his despair.

(Just gonna add something here quick. One more thing I regret about redoing this match: Junko did not do this many low blows the first time. And she has yet to do her other heelish tactics here, like using the brass knuckles and the Eddie Guerrero chair spot, even though she did them a bunch of times the first time around. Her CPU logic needs work, I think.)

Junko picks Chihiro up, but Chihiro starts fighting back. He knees her in the gut and Irish whips her toward the ropes. He bounces off the ropes himself and hits Junko with a flying lariat!

Junko gets back up to her feet, and Chihiro puts her in the crossface. Kokichi asks Junko if she gives up, but y’all know Junko won’t go down that easily.

They both get back to their feet, and Chihiro gives Junko a cutter out of nowhere! Chihiro then picks her back up, gives her a Ric Flair chops, and pulls out another cutter like they just grow on trees.

Junko gets back up, kicks Chihiro in the gut a few times, bounces off the ropes and hits Chihiro with a clothesline.

Chihiro gets back up and slaps Junko in the face again. While Junko is dazed, Chihiro goes behind her and puts her in a waistlock, but Junko counters it by spinning around behind him and... gives him another low blow. Chihiro is not going to have anything under his skirt by the end of this match. And once again, Junko laughs at Chihiro’s misery.

They get back up, and Chihiro puts Junko in another crossface. Junko gets out of the hold and gets her revenge by throwing Chihiro out into the barbwire and landmines for a third time. And there is blood fucking everywhere. I’m amazed Chihiro is still alive by this point, but to be fair there aren’t any dumbbells in the ring to kill Chihiro with, so that’s probably why.

Chihiro is back in the ring, but he’s clearly exhausted. Junko whips him into the ropes and knees him in the stomach as he runs back toward her. In professional wrestling terms, this is called the kitchen sink. I’m assuming it’s a reference to the idea of hitting someone with “everything but the kitchen sink,” but for some reason it’s used for a knee to the gut? I mean... at least it looks like it hurts.

Junko picks Chihiro up, but Chihiro fights back and knees her in the stomach. Now he’s putting up his dukes and moving around like a boxer. I think Chihiro may have gotten his second wind.

Chihiro slaps Junko in the face again and puts her in another crossface! Junko doesn’t tap out, so Chihiro decides to deal some more damage by hitting her with another cutter! Chihiro goes for another cover! ONE! TWO! AND JUNKO KICKS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND! ...Maybe. I mean, Kokichi is clearly holding up two fingers and allowing the match to continue, but knowing Kokichi he’s probably lying and Chihiro is being robbed.

Chihiro puts Junko in a waistlock and Junko, of course, kicks him in the groin again. By now Chihiro should know better.

Junko picks Chihiro back up, and HERE’S THE DANGANRONPA BOMB! KOKICHI’S IN POSITION! ONE! TWO! THREE! IT’S OVER! JUNKO ENOSHIMA WINS! THE CROWD IS STILL GOING CRAZY! THEY KNOW THEY JUST WITNESSED AN INSTANT CLASSIC! And I guarantee that most of it is for Chihiro Fujisaki, who fought defiantly until the bitter end! Both competitors are out cold on the mat after this exciting bout!

(This exciting bout that unfortunately had no Eddie Guerrero chair spots, no brass knuckles, and a million low blows, but for some reason got a match evaluation of 91%)

So yeah... kinda upset that Junko didn’t do a whole lot more than hit Chihiro in the junk-o a billion times, but I do like the underdog comeback that Chihiro had, even if he lost. And though I hate to admit it... Junko relentlessly attacking Chihiro’s nether regions is very much in character for her, so I guess I can’t complain too much.

#dangan ronpa #chihiro fujisaki #junko enoshima #kokichi ouma #fire pro wrestling world #spike chunsoft

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