#six fucking years best shot at just getting evaluated for testosterone
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at a sort of “going to scream at the next medical professional who i have to unravel myself to except i physically can’t anymore so i won’t” point
#don’t know a single lgbt person in town and the one i’m failing to move into just as bad#i’m not even talking about lovers or friends anymore i wish i had an acquaintance who i could nod with or something#i’ve been voicetraining for months now and it does nothing my voice as deep as it can get and i can’t control it very much anyway#day-to-day-to-day depersonalization level dysphoria that i can’t even dent anymore#six fucking years best shot at just getting evaluated for testosterone#no guarantee i can get on it mind you & that’s if everything goes right and nothing is#i feel like i’m going to combust from the inside#& after 8 years already in#& i’ve had no room for a life in the meantime. i don’t have anything going on besides that#i threw away everything pursuing hrt for them to tell me i’ve gotten too scary from it and to try again at 30
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