CD #1

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrr…

“Alright, test recording, test recording- this- is- a- test- recordiiiiing.”

“Oh, y’know, it might should be longer than that, actually, lemme… Uh. Hm.”

“Alright, ignore that first bit, it’s still technically a test because if this doesn’t work, then ah- heh, I guess it wouldn’t really matter anyway. Ok!”

“So!”

“Today’s been interesting! Very different! Absolutely crazy! So there I was, right, sitting at my desk, lookin’ over the blueprints Kale’s god got for me, and then suddenly I was- like- all I did was blink, right, and then suddenly I’m sittin’ on a wood deck crossing this whole plain just full of all these little ponds an’ stuff, an’ I’m not alone, either- there’s a guy there that’s climbing out of the water, lookin’ like he got an unexpected dunk, and then there’s this- like- she has four arms, ok, four arms, which is really cool, an’ she wears this mask that’s got a buncha eyes all over it, an’ she’s just standing there like she’s cross at someone. And then this living statue lady comes over to us from this really pretty old-lookin’ building a ways off, says her name’s Shontil and welcomes us to something called the Multiversal Rescue Agency- says we each did some heroic deeds or something that got us all picked to be able to travel to different universes an’ help people out in ‘em! I... didn’t really get it at first, an’ I still don’t quite get it, b’cause I don’t really think I’ve done much of anything to qualify me for that, but.”

“So then she takes us up to this huge building, an’ we get inside, an’ it’s a huge Library! With- with all these weird little eyeball creatures an’ paper snakes flyin’ around, takin’ care of the place, an’ all kinds’a people inside- from all over! I guess they’re all from different universes, just like we are, but everyone is so different and it’s so cool! Anyway then she takes us over to this big eyeball thing with lots of tentacles an’ just floating there in the middle of it all, says that’s the Lorekeeper, an’ then it speaks to us an’ it’s- it- It was like a million different people were whispering in my head all at once, but I could understand what they were all saying, an’ none of it was out loud- it was like what you’d- or, at least, what I’d imagine a god to be like- b’sides Beta an’ Sector, at least. Like, I’m pretty sure this guy could take either of ‘em, easy.”

“But he gives us these- li’l- wing necklace lookin’-things, calls ‘em Jumpers, says we use ‘em to travel to an’ from different universes an’ such, an’ then he gave one of us a living crow skeleton to kinda keep watch over us an’ report back an’ such, an’ then sends us off to the armory to go get cool items or whatever. I- I actually didn’t get anything, b’cause my headband’s been acting up ever since I got here, so I went to go get it fixed instead- it’s not fully back, but it’s at least identifying a few things… Like the paper snakes are called Bookwyrms, and the little eyeball creatures are Little Keepers! Still won’t identify a lotta the stuff around here, but it’s at least- sorta working. Keep getting an error message when I try to do like. Anything at all with it. Says “expected exception, code: not relevant”. No idea what that means, but I hope it’s not broken- I only just got it.”

“Speaking of getting things, though, so I went wandering around to explore the place after all’a that, because we have like our own whole- room- area an’ stuff, so like there’s a common room, an’ then bedrooms for each of us, which is really nice, it’s a lot better than the bunker back home. But I went exploring, tryin’ t’see if I could find somethin’ to record with, so I could- well. Record. An’ I ran into Shontil, an’ then this big guy- like, really tall, kinda older looking- walks by, hears our conversation an’ that I’m lookin’ for a recording device, an’ he offers this thing! It’s- I- I dunno if I can describe it actually, it’s a dome-shaped thing with a disc in the middle an’ a crank on the side, an’ I can record with it! Hopefully! If this works, heh.”

“Anyway his name’s Fohzug an’ he’s from Partyyyyy… Gamma! An’ that party’s been goin’ for twenty years. Shontil said it was the longest a party’s ever stayed on, an’ they don’t seem keen on retiring any time soon, either.”

“Wonder how long we’ll be here… what kinda crazy stuff am I gonna have to tell when I go back- which! We can go back whenever we want to, it’s not like I’m stuck here, which is… really nice, hah. I was worried at first, but she said we could visit, so. It’s gonna be great.”

“…Dunno if it comes across, if you can hear it on the recording, but I’m sitting up on the roof right now- there’s a giant fountain up here, an’ it’s real pretty. The Jumper starts humming whenever I get close to it, an’ it sounds really nice. I’m not by it right now, so it’s not humming, an’ I’d get up an’ go over to it to show you, but Iiiii dunno if I trust myself to carry this properly over there without accidentally stopping the recording or something, so just trust me on it.” There’s a small chuckle.

“This seems like it’s gonna be real fun. I’m lookin’ forward to it.”

The whirring slows, and then stops.