No one ever leaves a star. That’s what makes one a star. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)

La La Land

After watching The Devil Wears Prada i immediately needed to watch a GOOD movie, so i ended up watching this academy-award winning movie made officially this time last year. People i love rave about this movie. I did not like it...unfortunately So basically i fucking hated emma stone's character. Like wow. What a truly terrible person she was. Ryan reynolds-i mean-ryan gosling also had a very questionable role. I was dead unlucky in trying to watch a movie thats NOT about white people all the time!!! But ok. Lets push aside race, and focus solely on the movie as itself for now. Movie starts off p interesting with a very colorful cast of clearly talented ppl who can sing, dance, and act. All kinds of nationalities, LITERALLY shoving the fact that theyre all wearing different colors and have different colored cars in ur face. Its great and amazing. Too bad that doesnt represent the cast of characters AT ALL. Emma Stone is in a montage of being a sad coffee waitress who wants to act for a living in Los Angeles. Ok. But the bitch is SO rude!!! She doesnt even pay attention to driving on the freaking highway, she spills coffee on this one guy, and she gets sassy when someone asks if a food is gluten-free(which is a MEDICAL ISSUE that shouldnt be coughed up to being "a typical hipster complaint") all just so she can pursue her career as an actress. So. She goes to audition. GIRL. LEARN. HOW TO. ACT!!! In no way am i trashing Emma Stone's acting, to be clear. When i refer to her, i refer to her character's own attempts at acting....which is bad. So she sucks at acting. Wow, her life is so hard, she has to own a fancy car, have only one job as a coffee waitress to pursue her acting dream, a super fancy apartment with matching wall decals that prove how dedicated she is to film, a RICH and LOVING boyfriend, AND...she gets to go to rich parties and wear fancy dresses. What a hard, hard life. But wait a motherfucking second!!!! RYAN MY BOI Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Your love of playing piano and jazz i respect. You wanting to own a jazz club is perfectly fine. What i don't understand is this movie's INSISTENCE that Ryan is "preserving the history of jazz". What a crock of shit. Ryan sweeps Emma Stone off her feet, the two of them with a megaphone mantra "REACH...FOR THE STARRRRRSSSSS!!!!" Emma Stone CHEATS on her didn't-do-a-fucking-thing-wrong boyfriend to see a movie with Ryan Gosling. And that movie is: Rebel Without A Cause. Another showstopper about a sad white couple. So good for them, i guess. Ryan subsequently "teaches" her about the beauty of jazz, and how amazing it is. Fair enough. One might even say he is teaching her about how to live life? EH. If you think about it, this movie's plot is heavy on Ryan teaching Emma Stone how to live life, instead of the other way around. It's subtle, but REALLY can you find one scene where Emma teaches him about the wonders of acting??? NOPE THEN JOHN LEGEND SHOWS UP and plays the villianous role of stealing Ryan away from the pure form of jazz into pop electronica. Because its evil now. In this universe. Like, really? Of ALL the people you could've had play either of those roles, you had to have RYAN WHITE BOY GOSLING play a character that wants to preserve a music genre originally created by african americans fighting against the "sell-out" JOHN LEGEND, who in reality is a talented african-american musician????? This argument is not mine to make, so I won't try to delve further than that, but huh. Like, there are so many other talented jazz musicians that deserve to be in Ryan Gosling's shoes that its such a waste of talent. And I hope someone freaking noticed that the entire movie felt like the producers were checking off a box on a list labelled ENOUGH MINORITIES AND INTERRACCIAL COUPLES IN THE BACKGROUND SO PEOPLE WON'T CALL US OUT. Anyways, the two have some emotional fight and break up for following their dreams or smthing...idunno... I've heard a lot of people complaining about the ending of this movie, but TBH i thought it was better than the rest of the movie. OF COURSE Emma Stone somehow...is successful...richER...and back to the man she once cheated on. Ryan's good too. The end. What a moving love story. Love me a female protagonist that cheats on her boyfriend to follow her acting career supported by INVISIBLE MONEY Seriously though. If a movie is going to have the pivital message be "follow your dreams", then it better be a godamn children's animated feature film. Because i feel like as a generation, we're beyond that whole 20th century america thing...you know, that thing? Where you can achieve anything as long as you believe in magic? Yeah, no. Its just plain insulting to people who actually work hard. 3/10 Music, cinematography, lighting, acting, etc., etc. 1/10 Finding out it took Ryan Gosling only three months to play the piano 1/10 Living vicariously through Emma Stone because we all secretly want to be a dreamy doe-eyed girl that makes it big so our previous coffee-shop coworkers know that they should've worshipped me back then. they should've known that i was always better than them. they should've had bigger aspirations like me. that everyone would know the name "not actually emma stone". =5/10