#samxpeyton
Text
Hold On
Who: Sam & Peyton @southsidepey
What: Peyton and Sam finally see each other after a week passes
When: Nov 30th, Nighttime
Where: Peyton’s place
Regular: Peyton
Bold: Sam
Notes: Many, many emotions
Word Count: 5371
Sam had felt bad about forgetting to text Peyton after they'd last seen each other. His mind had fallen elsewhere in the past days, but he'd finally worked up the courage to text her and go see her. His morning had been worse than most, as his mom accidentally broke one of her bottles of alcohol, the shard's covering the floor and her foot getting cut in the process. He wasn't exactly sure when it had happened, sometime in between his walk with Stevie and Stacey to school, but Sam had gotten back to the trailer to remains of vodka on the floor. He'd taken a Xanax in the morning, which had started making his aggression levels go up. Sam pushed his anger down, cleaning up the mess and bandaging his mother's foot. After eating his breakfast, he walked into his bathroom, doing a line, courtesy of his purchase from Eric yesterday. Once the high had set in, Sam made his way over to Peyton's place, his nose itching throughout. He quickly rubbed his nose, knocking on her door, waiting for her to answer.
Peyton had been a wreck; she wasn't going to lie about that. After everyone had left the house, she snuck out to go back to her place on the Southside to grab some more clothes. She hadn’t been eating anything, just because of how upset she had gotten, didn't have the hunger sensation. She was grateful that Vivian had stepped up and covered for her at the flower shop because she couldn’t stand being there at the moment. Once she paid the cab driver, she got out and saw that Sam was at her door. She furrowed her brows at him rubbed his nose and wrapped her arms around her body as she made her way to the porch. "I hear, if you don't text someone, then that means they don't want anything to do with you anymore." She spoke up, stepping at the stairs of her place. "Or I could be totally wrong." She noticed that bitterness seeped into her voice, but she didn't care at the moment.
Sam's head turned as he heard the cab behind him. He let out a sniffle, his eyes widening as he noticed Peyton get out of the car. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, letting her speak. He could hear the bitterness in her tone, making him furrow his eyebrows. All Sam could think was, 'What the hell?' He was the one who had a bomb dropped on him, yet he wasn't allowed to want some space? His frustration was getting to him, crossing his arms as he pushed his anger down. He didn't want to lose her, despite how he felt, so let it go, dropping his head and letting out another sniffle, rubbing his nose before he spoke, "I'm sorry, Peyton. I've been busy and I just needed time." Sam stepped closer to her, looking into her eyes, "I-I still want to be with you. There's just been a lot going on with me."
"I get that, I do and I’m sorry for being so bitter with you just now. Hadn't been sleeping well." Peyton replied as she watched him sniffle and rubbed his nose. Then she raised a brow when she saw eyes and shifted her weight on her other foot as he spoke. "Then let me in, don't keep me out like Elisa did with Anna, while they lost their parents." She took a step closer to him. "If we're going to be in a relationship together, I don't want any secrets between us."
Sam nodded, letting out a breath, wondering if she hadn't been sleeping well because of him, "It's okay, and I'm sorry." He shook his head, "Elsa had some pretty good reasons, though." Sam swallowed hard, diverting his eyes from hers. He knew he couldn't tell Peyton he was doing drugs. She was already so out of his league; he didn't know if she'd still want to be with him after knowing that. He also thought that she might make him stop, which he would, eventually, but he couldn't do that right now. Then there was his drunken-high hookup. He knew telling her would hurt her, and she'd already made it clear she was having trouble already. Sam couldn't be the reason she was even sadder, even if it was killing him inside to keep it from her. He brought his lips into a tight line and nodded, "You're right. We can't have secrets between us."
Peyton swallowed hard when she heard him apologize. "Elsa thought her powers would kill Ana, but they didn’t. They had to find out through the hard way, but eventually, Elsa let Ana in." She said softly as she cupped his cheeks gently, hoping it was okay. "No, we can’t." She closed the gap between them and dipped her head to meet his eyes. "How about we go inside, I'll get you whatever you want to drink or eat, and we can talk it out, please." She placed both hands onto his shoulders and rubbed them gently.
Sam gave Peyton a grin, "Yeah, but Elsa was also under a lot of pressure that she didn't want Anna to have to deal with." He let out another sniffle, feeling his nose itch again from before, bringing his hands up to his nose to rub it again, trying to make it look nonchalant. He felt himself get more and more nervous, wishing he could step away and take a pill to calm himself down. He let her hands settle on her waist, nodding as spoke, and meeting her eyes again, "Yeah, I'd like that." Sam stepped aside to let Peyton open her door, standing behind her.
Peyton couldn’t help but smile when she saw his grin. "Well, Anna was perfectly fine dealing with a lot of pressure. Elsa just needed to trust her." She reached up, threaded her fingers through his hair, something that she had been missing and watched him rub his nose again. She felt his hands on her waist, nodded slightly when he met her eyes again and opened her door once she pulled out her keys. "Good because I'd like that as well." She stepped inside and waited for him to step in before she could close the door behind him.
Sam bit down on his lip, "Elsa just thought it would be better for Anna if she didn't have to worry about her all the time." Sam sighed at the feeling of her hands in his hair, nodding as he let her go to open the door. Sam walked in, sticking his hands in his pockets as he walked inside. Last time he was here, things were so different. He was so much happier, even with everything going on, because he had Peyton. Sam felt himself get fidgety, swallowing hard and shooting Peyton a smile, "You mind if I use your bathroom before we start talking?"
"Well, I guess Elsa has to realize that no matter how many times she tells Anna, she's going to worry about her all the time and there's no way of stopping her because she's stubborn as hell," Peyton said with a firm nod. She closed the door behind him, hung up her keys and took off her hoodie, feeling her shirt getting stuck to it and felt the cold air hit her stomach. "Feel free to use it, I'll be getting us something to drink and maybe some food if you're hungry."
"Anna should learn then that Elsa knows how to take care of herself." He didn't know how to take care of himself anymore, but Peyton didn't need to know that. He didn't want her to have to deal with his problems, considering she still had her own to worry about. "Thanks, and yeah, that'd be great." Sam nodded, walking into her bathroom and shutting the door behind him and locking it. He pulled the bottle of Xanax out of his jacket pocket, popping one in his mouth and swallowed it. He felt himself sigh in relief, bending down to flush the toilet so it wouldn't look suspicious, before hiding the bottle back in his jacket and returning to her living room.
"Yeah, well like I said, she's stubborn and will continue to argue with you on it." Peyton sighed as she put her hoodie down and headed into the kitchen, didn’t want to struggle with her hoodie and shirt getting attached to it. She made him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and grabbed two hot cups of hot chocolate, which was thankful for her Keurig. "So, I didn’t have any tea, I hope that hot chocolate is okay and made you a PB&J sandwich." She placed the plate down on her coffee table that she had gotten the other day, along with the cups.
Sam simply shook his head. After coming out of the bathroom, he felt a lot calmer than before, grateful that he'd stepped away, not really knowing how their talk was going to go. Sam smiled, taking the cup off the coffee table and taking a sip, "It's perfect. Thank you." Sam took a bite of his sandwich, chewing it down slowly and swallowing before taking another sip of the hot chocolate. "So, I guess we should talk..."
Peyton sat down from across him, placed her hands together and rested them on her legs. "You're welcome." She replied softly. She nodded as she pulled her long sleeves to where they're at her fingers and swallowed hard. "Yeah, we should...since both of us want to be together..." Peyton let out a breath as she glanced down at her feet, not knowing where they should start. "I’m going to come out and say it, these past few days have been shit because I wasn't talking to you and it was driving me not, being able to text you a quick hello or good morning or goodnight." She paused as she tried to form the words before she stopped talking.
Sam nodded, letting her say something first. He stayed quiet as she spoke, taking sips of his drink, finally letting out a breath, "I know, Peyton, they've been rough for me too. When you told that you slept with Sebastian and Asher, I was upset." He finally realized that Peyton was right, that they couldn't keep secrets from each other. He could never tell her about the drugs, but he knew he had to tell her about the hookup. He didn't know the girl, and he couldn't risk her hearing it from someone else. "And, um, I made some bad choices after we talked. Ones that I regret a lot."
Peyton listened to him and nodded, started to rub her hands together as he spoke. She froze when she heard his next words, looked at him as she could feel her heartbeat against her chest. "What happened?" She asked, not knowing if she wanted to hear it, but she needed to if they were going to be together.
Even with the drugs in his system, it didn't make what he said next any easier. And it shouldn't have been. Sam had been broken over Peyton sleeping with someone else, how would she feel when he turned around and did the same thing? "I, uh, I was really upset, so I went to Wyrm, and might've gotten too drunk, and I, um, hooked up with a girl." Sam swallowed hard; his head dropped to stare down at the ground.
Peyton felt her heart drop and wasn't for sure what to feel. "Ooh." She whispered as she ran her hands over her thighs, her mind going miles a minute and let out a breath. Her vision started to get blurry since she was already on the verge of tears anyway. "W-who is she?" Sam let out another breath, knowing his next answer wouldn't be any better. He could feel his heartbreak little when he glanced up and noticed how upset Peyton looked. He picked his hands up, running them through his hair and looking back up, "I, um, I don't know."
Peyton swallowed hard as she let out a shaky breath and nodded as she started to play with her fingers. She didn't know what to think since part of her felt it was his way of getting back at her for sleeping with Sebastian and Asher, but the other part of her was heartbroken. "Anything else?"
Call Sam a coward, but he couldn't tell her the rest. He couldn't tell her he'd taken drugs that night. He couldn't tell her that he was still using. He couldn't tell her that he was on them right now because he was becoming too much of a coward to deal with his world. So, Sam paused for a second, thinking before he opened his mouth "No, that's it."
Peyton nodded as she wiped away a few more tears as she sniffed and let out a breath. She pushed her hot cocoa away from her as she stood up, took off her hoodie and tossed it onto her couch. "D-did you hooked up with her to get back at me?" She asked as she looked at him.
Sam could feel his high from the coke this morning coming down, making him fidgety. He started tapping his knee on the floor, and shook his head, "What? No, of course not. I wouldn't do that to you. I was just, I was upset, and I felt rejected... and she was just there." Sam looked around, finally meeting her gaze.
Peyton wrapped her arms around her as she nodded after seeing his knee started to tap on the floor. "So, you thought, hey matter as well hook up with this random chick, because the girl who I like, slept with two guys and it might hurt the girl I like in the process?" She met his gaze. "I understood that you felt like that and needed time to think but I just." She sniffed as she wiped away her tears.
Sam felt his nose start to itch again, praying that a nosebleed wasn't coming on. He hadn't gotten another all week, but with his bad luck, who knew what would happen? He rubbed his nose and sniffled again, shaking his head, "That- That's not what happened, okay? I didn't go into the bar, intentionally looking for someone. It was a moment of weakness." One of the worst side effects of Xanax was the aggression that could come with it. In the past week, Sam found himself getting angrier and more annoyed much quicker, "What about you, Peyton? Like you said, you slept with two guys, not just one, on two occasions. Were you thinking about me while you did Sebastian and Asher?"
Peyton looked at him when he threw Sebastian and Asher in her face. She opened her mouth, closed it and let out a bitter chuckle. "How long have you been doing drugs, Sam?" She asked as she looked at him, ignoring his question, since she was done talking about the threesome. "Also, it clears up the confusion if you really want it, I slept with Sebastian, twice and I slept with Asher once. I also felt horrible afterwards, go and ask Riley if you really want to know, because outside of you, she is the only one who knew about it. I still feel horrible. Now, going back to my question, how long have you been on drugs, Sam?"
Sam was taken aback. Eliana was the only one who knew, and he knew she hadn't told anyone. He also noticed that she'd completely ignored his question, only making him more annoyed, "No, answer my question first, Peyton, were you thinking about me, when you slept with Sebastian, twice, and slept with Asher, once?" Sam shook his head, pulling at his hair, "And you don't think I didn't? You think I didn't feel like shit after it happened?" Sam ignored her question, feeling himself get frustrated. He wasn't acting like himself, at all, and his actions reflected the same thing.
Peyton watched him pulled at his hair, which was something she hadn't seen before and knew that she wasn't going to let her anxiety get the best of her. She wasn't going to go run away just because he was getting upset. "It was a moment of weakness." She looked at him. "I don't know, because you never said anything about feeling bad afterwards. Did you feel bad afterwards?" Peyton looked at him. "Now, answer my damn first question Samuel Evans, I answered yours. Are you fucking high right now and don't you dare deny it because you never pulled your own hair if you're sober and you never get this easily worked up? Maybe run your hand through your hair, sure but never pulling at it. I should know because I pay attention to your little habits and body language a lot more than you realize."
Sam scoffed, shaking his head again, "Moment of weakness, just like me, right? Of course, I felt bad afterwards!" Sam gulped, averting his eyes from Peyton. He didn't want her to find out, he really didn't. But she'd all but made up her mind, and Sam was thinking that lying would only make it worse for them. "It's not a big deal." And it wasn't, at least to Sam. So, what if he needed something to help him? Nobody could really understand how much stress he was constantly under, and how broken he was inside.
"If you're saying the many times, we've hooked up were a moment of weakness for me, then you're wrong because I’m falling in love with you," Peyton said as she quickly covered her mouth and closed her eyes when he shouted those words. She dropped her hands, from her mouth and walked over towards him. She kneeled in front of him, placed her hands onto his knees before she cupped his cheeks carefully. "Baby, hey look at me."
Sam's eyes widened as she spoke, "Wait, what?" He didn't know how she could be falling for him. She was so beyond his league, not to mention a complete and total mess. He wouldn't be surprised if Peyton wanted to run for the hills, he wouldn't blame her for not wanting to stick around. As she came around to him, Sam couldn't meet her gaze, thinking that she was just disappointed in him. "I'm fine, Peyton."
Peyton swallowed hard as she looked at him. "......I’m falling in love with you a..and it scares me because I don't know if you'll be there to catch me." She replied as she looked at him. She shook her head before she gently pushed him back softly against the couch before she straddled his lap. If this was one of the ways she would have him look at her, then so be it. "You're not fine, Sam. You haven’t been."
Sam didn't know what to say. Of course, he'd known since the day they were in that bar together that he was falling for her, eventually realizing he was falling in love. But he wasn't right for her, he knew he wasn't okay, and he didn't want to put Peyton through his crap. Against any of his better judgment, he spoke without thinking, "I'm falling in love with you too, Peyton," Sam let out a breath, finally meeting her eyes as she was in his lap, "I'm as fine as I can be, Peyton. I don't have a choice."
Peyton wanted to kiss him, something she had been wanting to do but she knew that it could wait. She ran her fingers through his hair once more and shook her head. "You do have a choice, Sam. Please, let me help you. I don’t want you to go through this alone and it would break my heart if I just let you continue down this road. It would break my heart if something happened to you a..and I didn't do anything to help you." She licked her lips, noticing that her lips were dry. "How would you feel if I told you I didn’t have a choice with my dad?"
Sam shook his head, "No, I don't Peyton. My family... they're falling apart. My mom won't get out of bed, my sister has these terrible nightmares, and Stevie, God, he wants to join the fucking Ghoulies." It was so much for Sam, every second of the day. He didn't think anyone would understand how it feels to see yourself failing every day, not even able to process that Sam was fatherless. He couldn't abandon them; he didn't even know what would happen if he did. "I told you, Peyton, you say the word and I'll make sure he never bothers you again. One of us deserves to have a normal life."
Peyton rested her forehead against his, cupped his cheeks and caressed her thumbs. "Tell me what I can do to help you out, baby and I'll do too. I’m so sorry that you've been dealing with this all alone. If you want, I can come over and help you out with your family, okay?" She said softly to him and kept caressing his cheeks. "I want to be there for you and deal with that, with you." She shook her head gently against his head when he said that one of them deserves a normal life. "We both deserve a normal life, Sam. Then, you say the word and I'll make sure I'll do everything I can to help you with your family."
Sam couldn't do it to Peyton. He knew firsthand how emotionally taxing it could be, he just couldn't do it to Peyton. It was his family after all, so it was his responsibility to take care of, "No, Peyton, I can't ask you to do that. It's temporary, I swear. I'll stop when everything calms down, I promise." Sam closed his eyes for a moment, letting the feeling of Peyton's hands on his cheek relax him the tiniest bit, "I wish it were that simple, Peyton. But I won't let your life be affected by the mistakes of my father. That isn't fair to you."
Peyton looked at him knew that she would cry. "I’m way past asking, I’m at the point where I’m going to gather up my old clothes and give to Stacey. Talk to Stevie, get your mom out of bed, help you around the house and help you with Loki. If we're going to be together, then we have to learn that we can't carry the burden alone." She said softly as she watched him close his eyes for a moment and continued her moments. "I know it’s not fair to me, but it’s not fair for you to do this by yourself. At this point, I don't care about it affecting my life. My life isn't perfect, it never has been. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I've made up my mind."
It was never as simple as Peyton made it sound, "I really appreciate it, Peyton, but I just don't think you'll be able to help. I've tried, just about everything in these past few weeks, all they need is time. I just have to be there for them, even if it means doing some things I don't like." Then there came the drug situation, which had in some way strayed away from just his family life. Sam knew he'd been unhappy for a while, and well, the drugs helped him. They helped him feel better and he didn't know if he would be emotionally available to anyone if he stopped. They'd made him feel calmer, happier at times. He knew it wasn't really helping, but in his broken and messed up state of mind, they were saving him. "They're my family, Peyton. I won't let you take responsibility for something that you shouldn't have to."
"Like the drugs?" Peyton asked as he looked at him, dropped her hands from his cheeks and slightly pulled away from, but still sitting on his lap. She didn’t know what to do and she didn't like it. She didn’t like it when she didn’t have the answers and she didn’t like this situation. She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked away from him, letting a few tears fall, which she was surprised by it. She let the words sink in, ran her fingers through her hair before she rested her head on Sam's shoulder. "Can I just be there for you, please?"
Sam could feel her pulling away, making his voice quieter, "Um, yeah." He leaned forward and wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes. Nothing about this situation was good, but it was Sam's reality, so he'd suck it and up and deal with it. He nodded, biting down on his lips. He let his hands run over her shoulders, "Of course."
Peyton swallowed hard as she nodded against his shoulder as she felt his hands ran over her shoulders. "So, what are we going to do?" She asked softly. "Are we going to be together or are we going to be one of those people who want to be together but can't be together."
Sam was conflicted. On one hand, he wanted to be with Peyton, he wanted to have her in his life, the only thing that wasn't screwed up. But Sam also thought that it was selfish of him, to keep Peyton around when he wasn't at his best, "I mean, I want to be with you, so much, but if this is too much for you, then I understand if you don't want to be together.
Peyton bit down on her bottom lip as he spoke. She didn’t want him not in her life, it was already terrible not talking to him. She was literally losing sleep & not eating not being with him. "Under one condition." She said as she lifted her head and met his eyes. "If I see you spiraling downwards, I will literally kick your ass and take you somewhere so you can get help. Got it? Because I refuse to ever lose you."
Sam nodded, sighing in relief. He really didn't know what would happen if he lost Peyton. Maybe he actually would spiral, but he knew if he had her, he'd find a way to be fine, "Deal." He would've promised her that too, but some days were harder than others, which just made him want to take more. Eliana had given him some advice, but sometimes his emotions got the best of him, "I'll... I'll try my best, Peyton."
Peyton let out a breath of relief when he said deal and rested her forehead against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "That's all I’m asking, Sam." She whispered softly, knowing that she didn’t really want to kick his ass but knew that she would if that was her last resort. "Is for you to try your best."
Sam was grateful Peyton was being understanding, that she wasn't running for the hills now that everything was out. He brought his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "Thank you," He whispered, his voice cracking the tiniest bit. He'd missed holding her so much, she'd brought warmth back into his body.
Peyton returned the hug as she pressed her lips against his head and started to play with his hair. "You're welcome," She whispered back as she kept her eyes closed and heard his voice cracked a bit. She didn’t realize how much she had missed being in his arms, until now and she didn’t to let go.
Sam could feel himself begin to relax as Peyton's hands met his hair. He let another breath of relief, closing his eyes for a moment. Sam brought her closer his body, not ready to let her go just yet. Sam brought of his hands up to her hair, running his hand through it.
Peyton continued to play with his hair as he ran his hand through her hair. "Do you want to go laid down and I'll hold you?" She offered softly, not wanting to move but her legs began to hurt, and she wasn’t ready to let go of him. Especially when he pulled her closer to him.
Sam nodded into her hair, "Yeah." He absentmindedly let out another sniffle, not sure if it was from the drugs this time, or because deep down, he just wanted to cry. When everything first happened, Sam didn't have it in him to cry at the time, but as time passed, Sam had suppressed his emotions to the point where he didn't know if the tears would ever really come out.
Peyton pressed another kiss against his head. "I’m going to pull away and I'll walk with you to my room, okay?" She said softly, not wanting to disturb the silence that fell between them and untangled her fingers from his hair. Sam nodded, letting his hands drop from Peyton's back and letting her go, "Okay." He moved to help her up, running his hands through his hair, and getting up after her. One of his hands found its way to the small of her back, keeping it there as they walked to her room.
Peyton told him thank you when he helped her up and felt his hand on the small of her back. Once they arrived at her bedroom, she closed her curtains and turned on a small light that she had then slid off her shoes. She laid down first, since she was going to be the big spoon and opened her arms from Sam.
Sam got into the bed after Peyton, bringing himself down onto the sheets and next to her. With her behind him, he took one of his hands and linked it with hers, letting it sit on his chest. He let out a breath, closing his eyes as he tried to relax again. It helped with Peyton's body next to his, but he still felt a little fidgety from everything, secretly wanting to go the bathroom again so he could calm himself down. Peyton wrapped her other arm around him once she scooted behind him and placed a kiss against his head. "Do you want me to run my fingers in your hair?" She asked softly, knowing that she would do it for the boy if it helped him in anyway. "Or just hold you like this?" Peyton hoped she wasn't being too annoying or bothering him, but she wanted to make sure he was feeling okay.
Sam nodded, letting out a whisper, "Yes, please." He just wanted to forget everything that was happening in his life, and be in this moment with her, which was much harder for him than it sounded. Especially after what happened at the Wyrm with Eliana a few nights ago, Sam was trying to slow himself down, which was also, much harder than it sounded. He was hoping being back with Peyton would help that, but really, only time would be able to tell.
Peyton nodded as she pressed another kiss against his head as she began to run her fingers through his hair. She closed her eyes, really hoping that everything was going to be good again between them. She bit down on her bottom lip as she entangled their legs together then rested her forehead against the back of his head as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. She knew the other talk that they needed was about their jobs, but she didn't want to bring it up right now.
There were still things to talk about, Sam knew that. But he was enjoying the comfortable silence between them, even if he knew it wouldn't last long. And if it was anything like their last talk, Sam knew there would likely be some sort of fighting between them. He brought his hand behind him, letting his fingers rub against her side. He let his eyes close, just enjoying the peacefulness of the moment.
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Never Enough
Who: Sam Evans & Peyton July @southsidepey
What: Sam learns about who Peyton slept with
When: Nov 22nd, Afternoon
Where: The Secret Garden
Regular: Peyton
Bold: Sam
Word Count: 2180
Peyton felt her stomach in knots for a while. She knew that her and Sam weren't exclusive but part of her was worried what he was going to say, think and react. Peyton ran her hands through her hair, hardly touching her lunch and chewed nervously on her bottom lip. She let out a shaky breath as she took off her headphones, grabbed the order form and placed the bouquet next to the rest of them. She hit paused on her iPod, closed the doors behind her and brushed some of her hair out of her face before she turned off the iPod. Luckily enough, her bruises had healed, along with her hand (for the most part) and she hadn't had any interaction with her dad.
Sam had been good, well as good as he could be considering his circumstances. With his father running off into hiding, it left his family in shambles and Sam stepping up to be the man of the house. Stacey and Stevie were handling things differently, Stacey upset and crying and Stevie angry and hateful. His mother had ended up the worst out of everyone, depressed and withdrawn. Sam didn't know what to feel about his father leaving, more accurately, he didn't really have any time for a reaction. The past few weeks had been hectic enough, which is why anytime he got to see Peyton, he was grateful. He knew she was also going through so much, and he wanted to be there for her, even if he already had too much on his plate. Sam walked into the flower shop, a smile forming on his face when he noticed her. He slid behind her, placing a kiss on her cheek, "Hey, babe."
Peyton smiled softly when she felt him kissing her cheek and turned around, where she slipped her arms around his neck. "Hey handsome." She replied softly, taking in his features, just in case this would be the last time she saw him. "How's everything at home?" Peyton also felt bad that he was going through a lot without her being at his side, like he has been doing with her. "Also, I need to meet that puppy of yours too."
Sam grinned, settling his hands on her waist as he faced Peyton. His smile dropped the tiniest bit, shaking his head, "As good as it can be really." He didn't want her to worry, leaving his response vague, but he also was never too good about talking about his problems, unless extremely intoxicated. Sam let out a laugh, "Loki's a handful, that's for sure. I'll bring him around to yours when me and Stace finish housetraining him."
Peyton noticed his smile dropped a bit and swallowed hard, nodded a bit. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked softly. She gave him a soft smile as he spoke, then let out a soft laugh. "Well, I guess he is the god of mischief after all, huh?" She teased him. "Or, I could always swing by your place, if you're fine with that, of course."
Sam shrugged, shaking his head again, "They just need time to process everything that's going on." Sam chuckled, "Yeah, I think I ended up picking up too accurate of a name. He learned how to open doors on his own, which means my place is trashed." Sam wasn't sure if he was ready for Peyton see how upside down his life had become, his mom passed out on the couch and his siblings on either ends of the spectrum, "Maybe later? Besides, wouldn't be fun to walk around with shreds of Loki's toilet paper everywhere. Trust me, I have experience with that."
Peyton saw him shake his head and swallowed some as she started to play with his hair on the back of his head. "Okay." She simply said. She rose an eyebrow, smiled a bit when he spoke about Loki. "I agree, you did and I’m sorry to hear that, babe." She nodded as she placed her hands onto his shoulders. "Of course, whatever you're comfortable with and okay." She looked at one of her employees and took off her apron. "I’m going on my break; can you watch the store while I’m in the backroom?" They nodded and Peyton reached down, grabbed one of Sam's hands. "Come on, I want to show you something." She led him to the backroom, could feel her heartbeat crazy against her chest and opened the door then she stepped in.
Sam felt his body relax the slightest, feeling Peyton's fingers touch his hair, nodding as she spoke. He shot her a smile, thankful that she was being understanding, "Thanks, Pey." One of Sam's eyebrows rose as he felt himself lead to another room, clasping his hand with hers as they walked into the backroom. He wondered if she wanted to talk to him, hoping he wasn't just being led into the room to be let down. Just the thought made Sam a little nervous, especially since things had been going so well with Peyton lately, and she was just about the only normal, good part of his life at the moment, "What's up?"
Peyton nodded slightly. "You're welcome." Peyton swallowed hard as she let out a shaky breath as she bit down on her bottom lip and tried not to cry. "I need to tell you a few things." She said once she shut the door and locked it, as she tried to keep her distance from Sam. Peyton shifted her weight on each foot and tried to form the words, then she started to rub the top of her stomach, something new she started to do. "I, uhm, hooked up with Sebastian the other night a..and then I hooked up with Asher and him, the other night and I know that we're, not exclusive, but I just wanted to tell you because I don't want to hide things from you and I understand if you're hurt, upset, don't want to see me anymore. Like I wouldn’t hold it against you and would get out of your way if you wanted to leave this room and would let you have time to think." She looked at him as she put her hands together and stepped aside just in case.
Sam could feel his heart beat faster as he looked at Peyton, wondering what the hell was going on. As she spoke, Sam stayed quiet, trying to process everything. His mouth opened slightly, closing quickly after. He didn't really know what to say, or what to say. He'd already been consumed with so many problems, so he didn't think he could really handle another, or losing Peyton in the midst of all of it. He'd be lying if he wasn't a little upset about it all, but it's not like he could hold it against her. It was like she said, they weren't exclusive, and he didn't have any say in what she did outside of their time together. It did kind of feel like Marley all over again, and Sam almost felt like he'd never be good enough for anyone. Still, he felt like he had to see the bigger picture, at least he still had Peyton, right? Sam ran his hands through, letting out a sigh, "No, I mean, I can't hold it against you. It's not really my favorite thing to hear, but like you said, we aren't exclusive. But, uh, thank you for telling me."
Peyton swallowed hard as she listened to him and sat down on one of the chairs she had in the backroom. She nodded as she played with her fingers after she pulled down her long sleeves and blinked away the tears. "I-I’m sorry." She whispered as she fought the urge to crawl into a ball and let out a shaky breath. "You're welcome, but like I said. If you want to leave, then I get it o-or don't want to see me anymore." She wiped one of the tears that rolled down her cheek.
Sam felt his heart drop when he saw her tears, bending down on a knee in front of her chair and pulling her into his arms. One of his hands ran through hair, hugging her, so his face was hidden, "It's okay." Truth be told, Sam was trying too hard to keep himself together. Marley, his dad, now Peyton. It just felt like everyone was breaking his heart, unintentional or not, and it hurt more than Sam would ever let on. He had too many responsibilities, too much care in his heart, to show how he really felt to anyone else, because he knew it would never help anyone. "I'm here, Peyton, I'm right here." Sam brought his hand down from her hair onto her cheek, wiping away her tears and bringing his forehead against hers.
Peyton wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his neck, shook her head gently when he said it was okay. "No, it’s not okay because I hurt you a...and I just, wanted to avoid that." She murmured into his neck, knowing that she was getting his shirt soaked and sniffed as she tried to catch her breath. Peyton rubbed his upper back, closed her eyes and then reopened her eyes when she felt him wiping away her tears. She cupped one of his cheeks, caressed it with her thumb as she looked into his eyes and then ran her hand through his hair.
Sam cleared his throat, swallowing hard. He always felt like he had to be strong for everyone else, even when he was just faking it. "I know you didn't mean to, Pey." Sam comforted her, rubbing her back, keeping himself steady, "I'll be fine, don't worry about me." Sam forced a small smile onto his face as he faced her. His eyes closed for a second as he felt her hands on his cheeks, opening them back up to meet her gaze and tucking her hair behind her ear.
"I’m going to worry about you, that's what I kinda do." Peyton replied softly, noticing the smile and swallowed hard after she untangled her fingers from his hair. She watched as he closed his eyes and felt him tucked her hair behind her ear. She brushed her nose against his, bit down on her bottom lip and closed her eyes once she placed her head onto his shoulder. "Where do we go from here?" She asked softly after a while, knowing that she respected what he wanted to do.
Sam let out a chuckle, shaking his head, "You should stop that. I know you've got more important things to be worrying about." His hand came on top of her head after it was on his shoulder, smoothing it down and stroking it. He just really needed to be by himself, for a few hours, preferably with a drink in his hand. "I don't want to lose you, because of this, but I... I think I just need to be alone tonight, just to process everything."
Peyton shrugged against him, knowing that wasn't going to happen. "Apparently you don't know me, because I’m not going to stop it." She murmured as he started to stroke her hair and continued to rub his upper back. She nodded as she lifted her head and gave him a small smile before she pulled away. "Of course, I'll give you that space."
Sam gave Peyton a smile, "Alright, just don't worry too much, okay?" Sam brought his hand down to hold hers, his thumb running over her knuckles, and returning her smile, "Thank you. I want you to know, I'm not mad or blaming you for anything. I like being with you, and I don't want that to end. I just need some time, okay?"
Peyton nodded. "Okay." She said softly then he watched him ran his thumbs over her knuckles. She listened to him, swallowed hard as he spoke and wiped the rest of her tears with her long sleeve. "You're welcome. Okay, take all the time you need." She leaned down a bit, kissed his forehead and sniffed as she sat back down. "I guess I will be seeing you then."
Sam ran his hand through his hair, clearing his throat and looking into her eyes, "I'll text you, okay?" Sam leaned down, giving her a kiss on the forehead and holding her hair for a second before pulling away and composing himself, exiting her backroom. He avoided the gaze of one of Peyton's employees, walking out of the shop and calling himself a cab, to the nearest bar.
Peyton closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead and swallowed hard. "Okay." She said softly and let out a soft sigh as he walked away. She took off her apron, grabbed her skateboard, gave the keys to one of her employees and told them to lock up before she headed to Jackie's & Aston's, where she was going to be underneath the covers for a while.
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