#rvb first spoilers
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Just needed everyone to know that the season 8 finale has hurt me in ways I didn't even know I could be hurt.
#that was my first time seeing it and now im mentally and physically destroyed#red vs blue#rvb#spoilers???
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You know what I can’t get over? When Church died in Caboose’s head. The memory of Church was killed and Caboose forgot him, but his care for Church really was so strong that he brought back his memories for him and then after that never let himself forget Church ever again, not when he died or was lost or fragmented.
There’s something so wonderful and tragic about it all.
It’s in the first season so it’s shrugged off like a joke and is resolved after a couple episodes, but as we all know it’s all much deeper than that now. There’s general consensus that having O’Malley in Caboose’s head is what contributed to his brain damage, but I bet the trauma of losing your best friend right before your eyes inside your own mind might fuck you up in similar ways (I’m so sorry Tucker). I don’t really have a point to all this, but I feel like it goes to show that the care and love Caboose had for Church really did bring him back at least the once (actually twice via epsilon) and that’s not for nothing so as Caboose said “Dead Friend + Love = Church”
(This is all not to mention the allegory for the fact that caring for a loved one is what keeps them alive in our hearts)
#ive gone back and rewatch the series and am watching season 11-17 for the first time#I’ve only just started season 15 so no spoilers#I have so many feelings and I just need to get them off my chest#so here’s a chance to actually use tumblr lol#if there’s anyone out there still interested in rvb specifically seasons 11-17 I would love to chat 🥺❤️ open ended offer#red vs blue#rvb#Church#Caboose#red vs blue season 15#Leonard Church#Michael J Caboose
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If I had a nickel for every time there's a character who's a grief stricken man with a goatee and glasses, has lost his wife and daughter, and has the title of the director who shoots himself in the head, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's funny that it's happened twice
#crab text#Control#rvb#spoilers for the first act of the game and a ten year old episode of a popular webseries
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WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. captain flowers says "i have to tell you something incredibly important. it may hold our key to victory here" and then dies before he can tell church what it is. do you think he was gonna tell church about project freelancer and where he came from????
#specifically about alpha???#this is the first time i'm rewatching rvb as a conscious individual ok i'm seeing so many things#also jake DNI!!!!!!!! SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!#txt
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PROPAGANDA
AGENT TEXAS (RED VS BLUE)
1.) okay so tex is an ai based on the memories this one dickhead dude has of his dead wife, allison. there's also an ai based on the dickhead dude himself, his name's church. all the stuff with the ai's and the different versions of her is kind of confusing to explain but she sort of dies twice- first sacrificing herself for something that has very little narrative weight, and being absorbed into a kind of . monstrous mesh of other ai's (including the original church ai) that then is erased, with basically no mention of tex, it's all about church's death.
then, there's another version of both church and tex born from the original church ai's memories (epsilon-tex and epsilon-church). epsilon-church's arc is basically about learning to move on from his past and let go of tex, because he's kind of obsessed with her and it's preventing him from progressing. so, epsilon-church 'forgets' tex, deleting her for good. tl;dr she dies, again, basically entirely for church's development.
when i was a kid super into rvb i was always really disinterested in tex and looking back it's because er story just.. isn't resolved satisfyingly at all. basically all of her story is hitched so tightly to church's story and development that tex barely gets room to be more than a memory of the director's dead wife- she never gets to move past the circumstances that created her and become her own person entirely divorced from the director or from church- allison died and we never knew anything about her besides that the director god sad about it. beta-tex died unceremoniously and without mention. epsilon-tex died for church's character growth.
quoting church's own words from the show: ""She died in her real life, and that's all the Director ever remembered of her. So now, no matter how tough she is, no matter how hard she fights, she's always going to fail, because that's what she's based on. No matter what she's doing, or what she's trying to accomplish, just when her goal is within her reach, it gets yanked away. Every. Single. Time." and she just never… actually overcomes this. she just dies.
and quoting now-inactive tumblr user epsilontucker from 2015 who put it better than i could:
"Tex’s whole life was spent fighting for agency. Freedom from what Omega wanted her to be (O’Malley), what the Director wanted her to be (Allison), what Church wanted her to be (his). Epsilon-Tex wanted to know who she was and why she was and she wanted to dismantle everything Church ever built. Especially because he built it for her.
And this character arc about freedom and agency, about a chance to define herself on her own terms, is resolved by… Church deciding to delete her.
Because everybody always seems to know what’s best for Tex."
this is also to say nothing of the treatment of her character on just, like, an episode-to-episode basis. rvb has a big problem with basically treating "bitch" as a personality trait for female characters, and tex gets some of the worst of it. if you made a drinking game of how often tex gets called a bitch, or a huge bitch, you'd die of alcohol poisoning. also at one point andy the bomb makes a bunch of transmisogynistic jokes at her because she's suppsoedly mannish (she's not masculine or feminine really everybody in this show is a multicolor master chief. she's just good at fighting) and then calls her a dyke. the end
2.) Some background (spoilers): Tex is introduced as a badass mercenary from Project Freelancer, and the ex girlfriend of Church, the main character of the show. It is eventually revealed she and Church are both Aritifical Intelligence programs; Church is an AI copy of the Director of Project Freelancer, and Tex is a copy of the Director's late wife.
Firstly she is straightforwardly the victim of misogynistic "jokes" for the first several seasons. She is called misogynistic slurs, shamed for sleeping with other men besides Church, she cannot work the entertainment stand at the base bc she's female, called lesbophobic and transmysogonistic slurs bc she is a competent soldier, and blackmails another female character out of jealousy bc she is the only other girl in the group.
Even when these jokes go away, and the show transitions from comedy to drama, her writing revolves around the male characters around her. Because she is the personification of the memory of the Director's dead wife, and his perceieved failure to save her, she explicitly, in the text, will always fail at what she sets out to accomplish no matter how strong she is. She wishes to be free of the cycle of being resurrected bc Church can't live without her only to fail and die again, but lacks the agency to end it without Church. Church's arc about learning to let her go ends not with her being free to exist as her own person without him, but with him forgetting her. Since she IS his memory, this ERASES HER FROM EXISTENCE. She literally cannot exist without this guy.
This would all be easier to swallow if she wasn't the ONLY prominent female main character for 8 whole seasons. It's a beautiful story about how grief can fester into anger and a need for control, and how that pushes away the people you love, but it's a story entirely centered around Church's development, in which she is a prop that stops existing when the story is over. I love her but she deserved so much better than she got.
3.) girlboss
KAMALA KHAN (MARVEL COMICS) (CW: Racism)
1.) One of the most prominent brown women in all of comics, beloved by the fan base. Recently killed in a PETER PARKER SPIDERMAN COMIC (despite being much closer with Miles Morales and having basically no relationship with Peter) in what's probably the name of MCU synergy, which nobody wanted (she'll probably be resurrected as a mutant, erasing her unique and interesting history as an Inhuman). She was using her shapeshifting powers again despite having stopped in her solo as she got more confident in her own skin and identity as a Pakistani American girl, died disguised as the very white Mary Jane as a fake out/last minute replacement for killing off MJ. I fucking hate it here. A cheap trick to drive sales. L + Misogyny + racism + are you fucking kidding me
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Okay, so post season 13 on my rewatch and I have a lot of the same complaints I did when I initially watched it.
The main thing being the pay off of Tucker's development as a leader and the parallels that were set up. I'll maybe get into it more later, but the Felix/Locus/Sharkface set up to Tucker/Wash/Carolina just didn't feel satisfying. I don't think it would make sense to have Tucker on the same level as the freelancers but it would have felt more narrative satisfying to see him hold up more of a fight. Him eventually leaning on his friends to help him win opposed to Felix being alone would have still worked, it would have just been nice to see just a bit more resolution to all of his training and experience.
I do think the Carolina and Wash vs Felix and Locus fight has great moments, but narratively it just feels out of place for me. I wish they had maybe had more time to explore what was set up with Sharkface and The Counsilor with Carolina. The fact that Carolina and Wash don't even know that the Counsilor was working with the space pirates was also a big let down.
I didn't get this feeling the first time, but having Wash go back to gray armor really feels like it's distancing him from the Reds and Blues and kind of walking him back from where he was at the end of season 10. I was talking with my sister and we both agreed that we wish he'd maybe gotten his own shade of blue armor (if available with us not knowing anything about Halo) instead of going back to Church's.
The Chorus Trilogy is still one of my favorite parts of the whole series though. It has a lot of great moments and still really love the characters and lore that were introduced. Dr. Grey is a delight to have on screen whenever she's there and the Lieutenants are always a joy to see. And of course I fell in love with Kimball all over again.
Once we start season 15 we'll be getting to territory that I haven't seen cause I fell off during the anthology season. I'm hesitant based on some spoilers but I want to give it a fair shot. The plan is to get to RvB: Zero, but we'll see.
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can't make heads or tails of whether RVB is going to be available for FREE on the RT site or just available to First subscribers. but here's the tweets those shitheads put out today [LINK] and apparently you can put links on images now too so. try that out and see if it works.
Tweets from @/Roosterteeth:
[First Tweet transcript]
"You spoke, and we listened! Things are changing at Rooster Teeth.
Here are all the exciting updates we’re making so we can better reward the people (you) who support us! ❤️
🚨Spoiler Alert: It’s super cool shit🚨"
[Second Tweet without emojis]
"We can’t wait to share these updates with you all, here’s a run-down of what to expect for all you visual learners out there:
As FIRST changes, the price certainly doesn’t! You still get access to everything for $5.99
We’ll be making more series exclusive to Rooster Teeth, like Red vs. Blue, Camp Camp, and more!
Certain FIRST perks will not change! However, we will be adding:
Monthly Meet and Greets/Q & As
Voting for new and returning shows
Monthly exclusive livestreams
Weekly bonus episodes
More new and upcoming content to look forward to
Stinky Dragon Adventures coming in November
A Simple Walk II premiering this Thursday
@dogbarkshow, a new content group!
@FuckFacePod meets video games in F**kface Off coming soon!
On The Spot is BACK with 4 new episodes starting 9/28
@insidegaming on Twitch, every Mon, Tues, & Thurs 3pm - 7pm CT
So… Alright, a new podcast from @GeoffLRamsey, new episodes drop every Tuesday
Look out for some more FIRST exclusive content such as:
Second Wind: @StinkyDragonPod
BTS podcast
A Simple Walk II companion podcast
And more to come"
[End transcript]
#red vs blue#rvb19#rvb#rooster teeth#don't come at me for calling them names. i hate them. i am merely passing on news#if you don't like it get your news yourself
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I'm going to start a Daily Posting fic. Help me choose what
Explanation. I've gotten out of the habit of writing daily. I do not like this. The best way i know to fix this (for me) is to write a fic that's soul purpose is for me to write a little bit each day and post that little bit immediately.
I plan on trying this again, but posting the little bits here daily and eventually posting it (edited and formatted properly) onto AO3. and since i'm posting it here first, you all get a choice of what this project will be. in the form of a poll. (b/c why not.)
and just to make it interesting, i'm only putting the weird document names (with fandom and basic vibe)
(all of these i have a varying amount of stuff written for them already but I will post that first before going from there)
#random stuff#polls#idk why i'm doing this#ok i know why#but still#i probably should have put something turtle related in there#but idk#i have the distinct feeling you all will just have me redo the poll with ongoing fic options#but so be it#i was going to put descriptors or whatever#but i don't really want this to turn into a popularity poll#so you literally get what each of my documents is saved as on my computer#not even like proper names#they're better than they used to be tho#i'm pretty sure the kiddo simmons one used to be called 'son of a bitch' or something#but i kept getting it confused with another of a similar name vibe#(either 'fking hell' or 'not another one damn it')#so i changed it
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OK, so firstly AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPLDJRJFJVUIRRJDDN
Part 40 pt 2 spoilers (kinda?) This is mostly a weird rant that doesn't spoil any major plot points
Second off, why is Kayne kinda hot tho?
What is it about this fucker that makes my brain go "ah, yes. This one is good" ?!
Cause NO HES NOT!
Maybe I'm attracted to chaos in the name of entertainment like a moth, but idk man. First it was Felix (rvb) now its Kayne, there are some deep psychological issues that I need to fish for
I'm so fuckin hyped for what he wants to show them tho, physically salivating at the thought of more content. So, very excited and dying cause now I have to wait another month, but fuck it, it's worth it.
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Going on reddit to see people's thoughts on the rvb teaser and it turns out there were some leaks FOUR MONTHS ago. chris fleming was anybody gonna tell me dot jpeg.
Discussing that and the teaser trailer
First off, I need to give thanks to the now deleted OP of this comment because if they posted who the villain was I would have read it. Even if they put it under spoiler text or images on another site I would have clicked that shit zero hesitation. And then I would have been annoyed at myself for doing that. Thank you brave solider. Also the other significant character return. Thank you for not spoiling that either. I have no impulse control. None.
So the armors in the trailer lined up with the images linked in that reddit post so these leaks are way more likely to be real. Very happy to see Simmons keeping his cyborg arm and Sarge getting ODST parts. Kinda disappointed its in Infinite though. Nothing has beat the look of Halo 3 for me tbh.
Moving on, I don't know why OP is assuming that Wash in the hospital means its Post-Singularity when the show could absolutely do some kind of reverse fakeout or switcheroo where Wash gets hurt in the actual real life post-s13 battle with Charon. That being said. I would LOVE. To not lose Grimmons storage closet sex. Among other things.
Going back to the teaser itself, its very odd for a teaser. Just like, a random one off Blood Gulch-esque clip? Okay. I hope its actually Shelia and she actually gets lines. That would be great. Yomary Cruz not on the cast list (yet) so who knows. People on reddit saying Tucker and Sister already confirmed by Geoff on a podcast to have lines, and Carolina is in the machinima leak. That only leaves Donut for me to be concerned about. If he isn't in the season (which I doubt he won't be tbh) I think I'm within my rights to file a hate crime case against RT.
Overall, not much of an impact on my expectations. I'm trying to keep them low lest I end up disappointed. And I have my daily affirmations that even if it sucks, its the last season ever. And I'll be free after.
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Tiny break from my regularly scheduled fanfic art to draw up some STRQ parents, featuring the Ooblecks.
Strangely enough, it was this post about snail color dyes that made me be like... I need a blue, snail-man named Tek in this story right now... but where?! I never named Bartholomew's dad, and they've got slime-based Semblances, so BOOM! It was all downhill from there!
Spoiler-free versions of my character notes for these guys under the cut:
Phyllis “Merryweather” Xiao Long:
Tai’s mother.
Is kind of the unofficial community leader of Patch's social circles.
Her maiden name is in reference to the fairy from Sleeping Beauty.
Her first name is a RvB reference that started as a joke placeholder and accidentally became permanent. 🤣
Yichen Xiao Long:
Tai’s father.
Ran a dojo on Patch.
His name is based off of Chinese characters “Yi” 奕 , meaning “great: and “Chen” 辰 meaning “early morning/ sun/ dragon of the Chinese zodiac… which is in reference to Taiyang’s own name meaning “great or little sun dragon” (—buuut IDK Chinese so all this is speculative Google searching on my part).
Sheila Oobleck:
Bartholomew’s mother and Phyllis’ best gal pal.
She loves gossip and wears yellow. She crashes any car she gets behind the wheel of.
Her name is PURELY and INTENTIONALLY a RvB reference! Semblance is strictly cosmetic, like Bakugo's mom.
Tekhelet “Tek” Oobleck:
Bartholomew’s father.
Archaeologist, studies ruins. Wears Blue.
Semblance would probably be related to the slime from snail trails. His name is a color Blue, based on a stray tumblr post (see above) I saw about blue dyes, Tyrian purples, snails, and Jewish historical fun facts.
Zariyah “Gale” Rose:
Summer’s mother.
She was kind and gentle, had an angelic singing voice, and baked a mean batch of cookies.
Her Semblance was akin to a “gentle breeze”.
Both her names are a reference to “wind”.
Ryley Rose:
Summer's father.
His Semblance allowed him to grow seeds into flowers just in the palm of his hand (though they died shortly after). If used on seeds in the ground, his Semblance instead helped the vegetation grow stronger and healthier than it ever would have on its own.
His name means “rye clearing” in homage to his Semblance and “growing crops” as a farmer.
Heron Branwen:
The twins' father.
He is the leader of the Branwen bandit tribe.
His Semblance is "Positive Outlook" - a precognitive ability to alter probability and bring about the most beneficial outcome through visions of differing scenarios.
Ardent:
The twins' mother.
She was said to like tea and birdwatching; had red eyes, an explosive temper, and was good with a sword.
I always thought her Semblance might have something to do with shadow-based teleportation.
Her name is one I use in fics sometimes because it's unique-sounding. It means "burning; enthusiastic, passionate" and I believe is also a shade of Red.
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Leonard Church Propaganda
he died 10 episodes into the story and comes back as a “ghost” and spoiler-y stuff but he dies again and comes back again multiple times
HIS WHOLE THING IS BEING DEAD BUT NOT DEAD OK he is the most dead guy ever. he spends the first five seasons being a ghost and still managing to die repeatedly. he’s technically a robot but he’s an ai copy of an ai copy of a guy and BOTH OF THOSE GUYS ARE DEAD. HE IS SO DEAD ALL THE TIME BUT NOT BECAUSE HES ALIVE. he is in a constant cycle of dying but not being dead. half of blue teams kill count is just caboose repeatedly killing church on accident. he can’t die so hard that he won’t let his dead wife die either until the THIRD ITERATION OF HIM finally lets her go because he realizes he doesn’t even know her at that point he’s so many degrees of separation away from the original allison. and then he TRIES TO DIE WITH HER BUT STAYS ALIVE BECAUSE HE’S ETERNALLY CURSED TO LIVE. his death count is literally in the double digits he DESERVES a place on this tournament. most alive dead guy ever. ok thank u for ur consideration if he doesn’t win I will burn this webbed site to the ground /j
Iterations of church have died and come back multiple times. In season one he gets shot by a tank and comes back as a ghost. in like season six (it's been a while) it's revealed that he was not a ghost but an AI the whole time and then sacrifices himself. and then a copy of his ai self comes back. it's a meme in the fanbase at this point that church dies and comes back and after the ai copy (epsilon) died they had to devote a whole sub-plot to "WE SWEAR HE IS NOT COMING BACK AGAIN. HES GONE." anyway part of me is still suspicious that they lied about it and there's another part of the alpha ai out there somewhere but like, it's been like five years and i'm starting to think they got us for realsies this time
This dude has died like seven times. It's unreasonable the number of times he's died. Like it's kind of insane. He had a bunch of time travel clones at one point that all died. He sacrificed himself because he was convinced he WOULDNT die because he thought he was a ghost (he wasn't) and couldn't disappear again (he could and did). His SECOND VERSION OF HIMSELF (ai cloning sort of) ALSO DIED. ALSO by sacrificing himself (this time he actually knew what was coming though). The way he died the first time was by getting shot by his own best friend who killed him with a fucking tank. Then the sacrifice. Then the sacrifice again. Not to mention all the other times where he went missing/fucked off somewhere. And also the time that the Epsilon version of him tried to self destruct in another guy's brain. Jesus fucking christ this dude has problems. Please include him. Please.
the original leonard church (the director) made an exact copy of his mind as an ai (the alpha) that he tortured, which in turn made a copy of itself (epsilon) to cope with the trauma, so in total there are 3 Churches.
death count: the director killed himself. the alpha died when he was shot with a tank, then he possessed someone else's body and got shot in the head, then he possessed a robot that exploded so hard it melted all of the ice on an entire planet, then he got erased from existence by an EMP. then he came back as Epsilon who went on to also get erased.
Well it’s. It’s complicated okay. So hold on alright.
So Dr. Leonard L. Church was initially this guy who was the Director of Project Freelancer (PFL) and he liked to fuck around with AI because the Halo lore is like the background setting for RvB. Anyway the Director made an AI copy of himself, and called it “Alpha”. Well, the Director wanted to have more than one AI for his experiments so he could give them to his Freelancer Agents (all named after the 50 states), so what he did was he tortured Alpha until Alpha split itself into fragments; essentially he gave an AI so much trauma that Alpha developed DID. (Forgive me, even though I have friends who are systems I still know very little and am still learning about proper/respectful terminology). Well anyway one of the fragments of Alpha, Epsilon, was given “memory”. So Epsilon remembered all of the torture Alpha underwent, and when Epsilon was implanted in Agent Washington, Epsilon tried to kill himself, inadvertently almost taking Washington with him. Epsilon was removed and put into storage, and PFL fell apart. The Alpha, under the protocol “AI must not fall into enemy hands”, was sent to a secure location, and was reprogrammed to have his memory of the Project and everything with it removed. He was then implanted in a human, and was told he was Private Leonard Church of the Blue Army. (Side note; the Red and Blue armies are made up simulation armies designed to test Freelancer Agents in the field. The Reds and Blues do not know they are simulation troopers; they think the war is real.)
This whole shit slowly gets revealed throughout the course of the series, but yeah. Anyway. Church (Alpha, important distinction you’ll see why) dies a few times as a running gag in seasons 1-6. Then, at the end of season 6, he dies permanently to an EMP. But, the plot of season six involves our main characters rescuing the Epsilon storage unit, who eventually regains the identity of “Church” as well, as Epsilon was a fragment of Alpha initially, but there are a few tweaks. Alpha and Epsilon are different in a few ways, but they’re both “Church”. So it’s technically a revival. But if that’s too vague and too complex, in season one Caboose (Blue Team Rookie) blows up Church with a tank and then Church comes back as a ghost. It’s funny.
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So here's my general opinion on Hazbin Hotel.
First and foremost, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE THE SHOW. MY VIEWPOINT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T ENJOY IT.
Alright? Let's not string Logan up because he doesn't like a show.
Spoilers under the cut obviously.
To start, I absolutely think Viv is talented. I'm not going to pretend that she has no skill whatsoever because that would be disingenuous. I think that she's got an amazing gift for music videos and one-off episodes.
However that doesn't translate to an eight episode series.
When it comes to both of her shows, I find that her characterization, plots, and tone are very inconsistent. It becomes extremely clear when she really likes a character because she starts rewriting them to be this tragic thing that the whole plot needs to revolve around.
I'm not saying that a comedy series can't have depth. I'm an RvB guy, there's absolutely a way to strike a balance between snark and serious. But so often the dramatic parts of Hotel feel like they're fighting -against- the humor, not using it as a foil.
You can't expect me to take you seriously when you have half an episode dedicated to an absolutely stellar performance by Angel's VA, then make a rape joke in the next episode.
Beyond that, for a show about rehabilitating sinners, you spent all that time on Angel and his arc, only to have Pen' be the one who dies and goes to heaven? Are you honestly telling me that doing one grand gesture, one -singular- act of sacrifice is all it takes to get in?
Don't get me wrong, Pen was literally the only thing I consistently liked about the show. But his temporary death felt like nothing more than a tool to shove the plot along.
I believe a lot of this show's faults stem from having WAY too many characters. You have eight episodes that run for roughly half an hour each. You have to make some sacrifices to make things work. I'm not even sure having full hour eps would make it better, but it definitely wouldn't hurt things.
But Viv should be able to make those tough calls if she wants to be considered a good writer.
The three Vee's were almost completely wasted, -especially- Velvette [sp?]. You've got too many random antagonists in such a short season. Them (mostly Vox) interjecting during the big fight was jarring and more distracting filler/haha dick nonsense.
The only one I find was used in pretty effective way was Valentino. He's honestly a really nasty piece of work and I mean that in a positive way. He's charming until he isn't, he's predatory, and makes my skin crawl every time he's on screen. Good, kudos on that front.
But for the show that's supposedly the girl-show to Helluva's boy-show? THE GIRLS ARE BARELY FLESHED OUT. It feels like Viv can't decide who her main character is. (Likely a side effect of the bloated cast) Angel could be considered just as much of the lead as Charlie.
Speaking of Charlie, she comes off like an extremely flat and frankly obnoxious character for more than two thirds of her screen time. Why does her relationship feel like an after thought when it's canon? If it was meant to be a will they won't they, it could have made more sense. But it felt like we were constantly being reminded that they were together rather than showing us outside of the (i think) second to last ep.
The pacing is also totally out of control. The first episode was one big plot dump, then nothing moved the main story along for four and a half episodes, then suddenly everything is happening all at once? It feels like being in bumper to bumper traffic, then taking an off ramp.
Again, they really needed to streamline the cast.
As a final note, I really, REALLY hope Lilith is going to be more than just the evil bitch exwife. I already find Stella to be a total waste of a character. Please don't do the same with Lilith because I'm already sick of the "uwu misunderstood dad with his cunt ex" in Helluva.
I guess I'm extra annoyed because I really truly want to like this show. When the writing hits, it's absolutely amazing. But the overwhelming majority of the time, it's just -boring-. I know she can do better which makes it all the more frustrating.
You're allowed to like it. I'm allowed to dislike it. I'm glad so many people find joy in it.
I just wish I could.
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omg do you guys wanna hear about the church family tree from my rvb fantasy au. i spent quite a bit of time working it out bc, since its fantasy, theres no ai and i had to figure out how it would translate lol
this will contain mild spoilers for my au but a) it doesnt exist yet and b) most of them are derived from the plot of rvb so theyre kind of already spoiled. so. anyway, on to the actual post
ok so first off. church (alpha) has DID. so all the ai fragments exist but theyre no longer ai and theyre in his head the whole time. and this includes beta!tex (tentatively called beth? since tex also exists. we'll get to that). it also includes epsilon which will be. interesting. i have some ideas for how to handle that but its kinda besides the point.
the director is churchs father, and allison is churchs mother (who dies when church is a kid). the director is also carolinas father, but carolina has a different mother, so church and carolina are half siblings. tex was also raised by the director but she is not blood related to any of them - she bears a coincidental resemblance to allison (in personality, not necessarily physical appearance), which is why the director favours her over carolina (keeping the carolina/tex favourite child tension, of course). i havent worked out exactly when the director took in tex, but if it was early enough that the director named her, he probably would have named her allison (i mean, he also named his son after himself in this au. you know he'd do it, ESPECIALLY if allison is already dead at this point) and she chooses to go by tex or smth. alternatively, the director named her tex the same way he named the other freelancers like washington and york, keeping the whole "leaving your old name (read: old self) behind when you join the freelancers" thing from canon, meaning that her previous name (and whether she had one at all) is irrelevant. hmmm now that i say that, its probably the latter tbh
now, i may keep beth being based on allison, but while i know what an introject is, i dont know if i feel comfortable really. representing one. so it may not be CANON canon but itll probably be canon to me. additionally, church is raised separately from carolina, tex, and eventually the other freelancers [the freelancers are kinda like a family in this au btw. but like a fucked up hierarchal one. and church is completely isolated from it even though the director is "raising" him. anyway] for plot reasons, but he coincidentally runs into tex one day as kids and they meet in secret for years until tex eventually helps him escape the director. which is to say. beth will likely pick up traits/mannerisms from tex just by virtue of tex being churchs only friend in childhood, combined with the fact that allison and tex are kind of similar in personality. so shes blood related to allison and potentially an introject of her, and has spent a lot of time with tex/knows her very well, so shes gonna have similarities to both of them but she is ultimately her own person. in churchs head.
uhhhh i think that covers it? anyway this means i get to write interactions between tex and beth which will be extremely fun. i like tex as a character and itll probably be difficult to decide how to characterize her in 2 different ways (plus allison but shes gonna be dead for most of it so i dont really have to worry about her) and then to have them interact? they would be chaotic besties i just KNOW it
#extremely funny that ive talked about this au a couple times already and have yet to mention the central aspect of it#the freelancers are dragon people#thats right bitches!!!! you think i would write a fantasy story without dragons being absolutely integral to the plot?? THINK AGAIN#i also havent talked about how its tuckington centric. but that deserves its own post i think#hmm. this au needs a tag i think#biggies rvb fantasy au#<- ill go back and add this to my last post about it tomorrow. if i remember#ANYWAY i should have gone to bed hours ago im getting a headache it is time for BED. enjoy my rambles it is sleepy time#rvb#rvb au
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WHAT THE FUCK. After finding that last snippet I did more digging in my google docs. what the fuckk hahaha
it’s titled “april fools” from March 2022, so like exactly two years ago. i have cued it for the next April 1st
some things are best left unpublished but frankly i don’t like to take that much psychic damage and NOT inflict it on the next idly curious RvB fan.
i remember now, i was going to write a fic with the most bastardized fandomy takes on each character possible but i legitimately can’t tell if that psa was a real attempt at that or if i physically could not bring myself to (likely) and went for the easier to deal with ‘react to fandom’ instead
Prepare for lots of Donut innuendos
(it’s not actually that bad, i very much did back out of the initial concept immediately, it just caught me really off guard haha)
——
I’m going t o fucking c r y. this was pain to write. (first thing i wrote. haven’t even written the fic yet)
fandom cringe versions plZ i hate it
Simmons: ;w; anxiety boi
Grif: uwu sleepy boi
Caboose: owo can do no wrong boi
Donut: owo can do no wrong femboi
i don’t know if i can do this. holy shit. i know it’s for april fools but if it causes pain to write aren’t i the fool?
ImPorTaNt RvB PSA
Simmons: Hi everyone, I’m Dick Simmons from popular webseries Red vs Blue.
Grif: And I’m Dexter Grif from the same show.
Caboose: And I am Caboose
Simmons: … Hi Caboose.
Caboose: What are we talking about today?
Caboose: And now, the weather! Spoiler, it is rain.
Simmons: Uh… No idea how to segue that back. So, we’re supposed to read these fan stories. This first one is about me and Grif it looks like, and– Wait, wait what??
Grif: What? What is it, let me see. *starts laughing hysterically*
Simmons: *flustered* What is this mushy gushy romance stuff? I’d just– I’d just like to set the record straight that if I did hypothetically have feelings for a person that I knew I totally wouldn’t do that. I mean, pine for somebody? For a decade? That’s some bullshit, any self-respecting person would move on in that amount of time–
Lopez: [Honestly, you two are not subtle. Even I’ve noticed and I try my hardest to ignore you all.]
Grif: You would! You would act like that around a crush! Holy shit, they nailed you, Simmons!
Donut: Did someone say Donut?
Donut: Wait a minute! Fanfiction?? Those are my people! Let me host this one please please please? I’ll be the hostess with the mostest! I’ll put my Donut whole into it!
Simmons: Yeah, I need to go bleach my eyes, so be my guest.
Grif: And I just wanted to watch Simmons die as he read all this. It’s no fun if it’s you, Donut.
Donut: Well, I’m excited. I can’t wait to read how deep they’ve penetrated into you and Simmons’ relationship! Looks like you two are in a lot of these.
Simmons: Lalala I can’t hear you. I can’t hear anything and therefore do not need to respond to any awkward topics.
Donut: Ooh, they’re all romantic.
Grif: Oh god, yeah, let’s go.
Doc: Could I be co-host? I haven’t helped host one of these in forever!
Donut: I thought you didn’t like this kind of thing?
Doc: Well, we’re keeping it PG, I’ll be just fine.
Donut: Ehhhh
Doc: Donut. We’re keeping it PG, right? *O’Malley* I hope not. I’d like to see some carnage. Shut up, you fool. It’s fiction. *Doc* I didn’t say anything. *O’Malley* You were about to chastise me.
Donut: Depends… does PG stand for pornogr–
Doc: Donut! *O’Malley* Or pussy grande. *Doc* O’Malley! There’s way more out there than just smut! Even in the romance genre there are comedies, introspective pieces, adventure, slice-of-life, drama…
Donut: Well, yeah, but I figured we could do a little of everything.
Lopez: [Jesus christ, just choose one. I’m going to burn this anyways.]
Donut: Good idea, Lopez! Burn it to discs! We can send them out as audiobooks!
Lopez: [I meant in a fire.]
Donut: Yeah, it is a fire idea, Lopez. Jeez, now you’re just fishing for compliments. *clears throat*
Doc: We’re doing a “safe for work” one, right? *O’Malley mutters* You are a wet, wretched blanket. I hope you know that.
Donut: Yeah, yeah. Jeez. Now I have to clear my throat dramatically again! *clears throat*
——
you know what? fuck it. this is about in line with my other fake psas maybe i’ll complete it and post it on ao3. eventually. on an april 1st, naturally lol
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your rvb posting is kind of making me want 2 get into rvb........ . :3c
Honestly go for it, I’m only on season 15 and I’ve heard the later seasons aren’t so great but the first few are a LOT of fun and the middle ones are REALLY GOOD
I’ve been posting spoilers for literally everything so sorry in advance for those but like I would say if it interests you then go for it, I’ve been watching it on Tubi for the captions but I think just about every season has been uploaded to youtube somewhere
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