as a purveyor of christianity, do you think mixing ground communion wafers with a bit of wine and moulding it into a little dough baby would qualify as the second coming?

Well technically I don't have that in my church (at least not regularly) but considering the implications of grounding the flesh and the blood of Christ to form a little wafery amalgamation is a horrifying concept. And no, I don't think it counts as the second coming. That implies that God is only his flesh and nothing else