#remember when Vax would spend hours convince Vex she was loved and didn’t need their father’s approval. yeah. now he’s doing that for kiki
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Black Coffee (chapter two)
Thank you so much for your response to this fic, I’m so glad people like it. Special thanks to @minky-for-short and @spiky-lesbian
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Chapters: 1
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Percy hadn’t dressed for a date in a very long time.
In fact, when he thought about it, he didn’t think he ever had. He’d only ever had one relationship, back at boarding school, and he’d only had two outfit choices back then. School uniform or rugby kit. Somehow he didn’t think he’d still be able to pull that off at thirty.
He rifled through his wardrobe one more time, metal clacking reproachfully with each poor offering. Too boring…too stuffy…oil stains…oil stains…ripped…
With a noise of frustration he hiked his bath towel further up his hips, it had started to slip. The only clothes he seemed to own were either designed for a mansion’s ballroom or not fit to be seen outside his workshop. Maybe he had time to go into town and pick something new but even then, what sort of thing should he get?
Percy ran a hand through his hair. He probably wasn’t supposed to be thinking like this. This wasn’t a real date, it was a service. Why was he so concerned with looking good for Vax’ildan, when the half elf likely thought of this as work rather than anything recreational?
“This whole thing was supposed to help you relax a little,” he grumbled at his reflection, half visible in the full length mirror that hung on the back of the door, “Not stress you out more.”
His reflection didn’t seem to have an answer for that. It just stared back at him, eyes large and owlish without his glasses, hair sticking up after the shower. Living off takeaway food whenever he actually remembered he needed to eat clearly wasn’t doing him a lot of favours; where he wasn’t rail thin he was more round than he wanted to be. He was a very unhealthy kind of pale, everywhere except the very ill thought out tattoos he’d gotten when he was younger.
In short, he looked like no one’s dream date.
Part of Percy wanted so desperately to turn off the lights and crawl back under his blankets. Or maybe go to his workshop- the larger room in his penthouse that was really supposed to be the master bedroom- and lose himself in cogs and wires and screws. There would always be an answer there. There was always a way to make things fit, a solution he understood. He’d find no such certainty out there, stumbling awkwardly through a facsimile of a relationship.
That part of him was dangerously close to winning when he turned and saw his laptop, a sleek and black machine on his sleek and black sheets, still open, it’s glow reproving and impatient. Percy’s email was still open, the cursor blinking away on the still stubbornly blank message.
Cassandra had emailed him two days ago now. A short and to the point email, appearing cold to anyone who didn’t know his sister but Percy knew how to read the concern in those few words, asking how her brother was, what he was up to. He knew the words that weren’t written as plainly but were there nonetheless. I’m worried about you. Please tell me you’re at least a little bit okay.
She was halfway across the country now, studying at a good university though Percy could picture the horror on his father’s face if he ever heard his only remaining daughter had wandered outside of the Ivy League. But Cassandra hadn’t been concerned about prestige. She’d wanted distance.
She’d run from their parent’s city as quickly as Percy had become welded to it.
He hadn’t replied yet, hence the empty page. Because what the fuck was he supposed to say?
Hi Cassie, glad to hear you’re doing well and achieving all your dreams and making me so proud even though I’m too much of an emotionally constipated arse to show it. I’ve done absolutely nothing since you left, short of skipping counselling, talking to screwdrivers more than living things, moving like a robot through the activities I think our parents would want me to do and haunting our father’s penthouse like some depraved Phantom of the Opera. Keyleth’s still around though, I continue to be a shitty friend to her. Lots of love, your worthless brother.
Percy groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, where there were always two perfect red indentations from his glasses.
Admittedly, hiring someone to have sex and play romance with you wasn’t the sort of thing that he was going to put in an email to his sister. But he’d be able to say he’d left the house. He was meeting new people. He was doing things.
He’d be able to say he was getting a little closer to being okay.
Decisively, Percy closed his laptop but reached for his phone, lying on the nightstand where it had woken him up a full five hours before his date. It took less than two minutes to send a text to Keyleth.
Want to go shopping with me? Need a date outfit.
Vax woke up, as he often did, with a mouthful of fur.
“Urgh,” he groaned, shoving against the great weight on his chest, “Trinket, get off, you’re disgusting.”
Of course it didn’t come out as coherent as that, seeing as his brain wasn’t fully awake. But that was what he’d intended to say.
The large dog whined, not enjoying being evicted from the nice warm bed, landing on the floor with a thump after a dedicated shove from Vax. Neither of them were sure what kind of dog the enormous, dark brown ball of fluff was but all he knew was that he was a hell of a lot bigger than the shelter and his sister had promised he’d be.
“Don’t be mean to my dog!” his sister yelled from the next room, hearing the thump.
“Then tell your horse to stop smothering me in my sleep! If you’re going to try and assassinate me, be a little more creative,” Vax shot back, though he was frowning. His sister was still here? What time was it?
He clawed around for his phone, eventually plucking it from his many blankets, though not until he’d come up with a lipstick, a sock and a chewed up tennis ball. According to the screen, still perfectly functioning even with the hairline crack through it, it was nearly eleven.
Not bad for Vax’ildan. He’d been averaging noon the last few weeks.
Still on his screen were the messages he’d been exchanging with Percy last night. Though it didn’t say Percy on the text windows, he’d decided to keep the name Orthax in a fit of romanticism and intrigue, with an emoji of a red flower beside it. It was very much a tulip and not a carnation but it was the closest he could get.
They’d been texting quite comfortably in the day since they’d first met up and had set their first proper date for that afternoon. Which, shit the bed, Vax now only had an hour and a half to get ready for.
Cursing, he jumped up, staggering a little when his legs momentarily forgot they were legs, surging forward into the room that was half their kitchen, half their living room and too small to be either. His sister was sitting on the sofa, not even dressed for work, reading a book while petting Trinket’s ear. The dog was whining and making himself look very hard done by, probably to get Vax even further in trouble.
“Why aren’t you at work?” Vax paused, “Did you burn the bakery down?”
Vex worked half a hundred odd jobs around the city, often going straight from one to the other, changing her uniforms in the subway bathrooms. But on Tuesdays and Thursdays she worked the early shifts at a bakery a few blocks away, putting in the morning bread and folding croissants. Often she’d come home with some misshapen goodies for supper, making that Vax’s favourite of her jobs.
Not that he really enjoyed seeing his sister run herself ragged, coming in at ridiculous hours to snatch what sleep she could and still struggling to make rent, rarely having the time to do the one thing she really enjoyed- volunteering at the animal shelter.
Though maybe if she did spend more time there, she’d come home with more dogs. Vax could live without that.
Vex wrinkled her nose and swatted at him, “They’re installing new ovens. I’m not the one who put a fork in the microwave last week.”
Vax tried to look offended as only someone entirely guilty of what they were being accused of could, “It was a rare lapse in judgement…”
After a very pointed eye roll, Vex jerked her thumb in the direction of the kitchen counter, “A package came for you, by the way.”
Knowing he still had very little time to get ready but curiosity piqued, Vax wandered over to see a small, brown paper package with his address inked in a very neat hand. He unwrapped it, thinking how he hadn’t had any post for so long, feeling that nostalgic rush of excitement like a little kid with a birthday present.
Inside he found a bag of coffee. The kind Caduceus made and sold at his café. And written on a little post it, right on the front was the same handwriting as the address and suddenly the neatness of the hand seemed so perfect, fitting the voice that accompanied it.
Good morning! See you soon xx P
“What are you doing, you goof?”
Vax had been grinning ridiculously wide for a long time before he even realised he was doing it and his sister’s remark made him suddenly grasp what an idiot he must seem. And how he definitely hadn’t been planning on explaining his new situation this soon. Or with foggy, just-woke-up brain.
“Uh…” he looked up, “Just…a present. From a friend.”
Vex narrowed her eyes, “A friend? What kind of friend?”
“The kind that sends me coffee,” Vax tried to look haughty, “Do you want some or not?”
“That seems very…niche.”
“And?” Vax could feel his voice getting higher and more defensive and entirely less convincing, “Look, no time, I have to get ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“Gods above, what’s with the third degree this morning? Tie me down and shine a line in my eyes, why don’t you?”
Vex’ahlia watched her brother storm off into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him as if he had anything to be incensed about. She sighed and turned back to Trinket as he heavily put his head in his mama’s lap.
“As long as it’s nothing illegal…” she murmured to him.
The dog blinked large brown eyes at her.
“You’re right, it probably is,” Vex groaned.
Vax reappeared a little while later, he never stayed in the shower for long. He marched past, towel cinched under his arms, going in front of the sofa so his sister couldn’t miss how he tossed his dripping wet hair and sniffed huffily. He slammed the door of his bedroom, leaving behind a scent that was unmistakably Vex’s favourite, treat day only shampoo.
She resolved to steal some of his coffee as soon as he was gone.
Vax had decided early on to meet always Percy somewhere other than his apartment.
There were a good long list of reasons for this. It would save Percy from being crushed to death under 250 pounds of affection starved dog. It would avoid him coming into contact with Vex, which would only lead to awkward questions and maybe Percy having an arrow fired at him if he startled her on her way to her archery class.
And, most importantly, Vax didn’t want him seeing his place. Not that he was ashamed or anything, he just didn’t want to feel like he had to defend it from someone who clearly lived in penthouses and country mansions. He and his sister had worked so hard to get the life they had now, earning their independence and freedom with tears and sleepless nights. It would always be sweet to them, even if it was poky, cluttered and had a damp problem they couldn’t get rid of.
Vax didn’t want to see everything they’d won look shabby and insignificant through someone else’s eyes; it would taste too much of Syldor. He didn’t think he’d be able to hold back his anger if that happened.
He’d never heard of the restaurant Percy offered to take him to, but he managed to find it and seated himself nice and obviously on the railings across the street. After two minutes of watching the place, Vax realised why he’d never been there. It was so far out of his price range, it may as well have been in a neighbouring galaxy.
He looked down at himself, his large boots and artfully ripped jeans (done by Vex after he put one of the knees through) and loose striped jumper in black and grey. His heart sank as he realised he really wasn’t dressed for this kind of place.
“Vax’ildan!”
His voice was full of warmth, he sounded genuinely delighted to see him. That alone would have caused the delicate, rosy blush on the tips of his pointed ears, if he hadn’t also looked drop dead gorgeous.
Their last meeting, there had definitely been handsomeness lurking under the exhaustion and nerves but this time Percy wasn’t hiding it, he was wearing it plain on his face. His hair was trimmed and smoothed over one side, everything underneath a white buzz that looked almost silver in the afternoon sun. His jaw was clean shaven however, taking years off him in an instant.
And he was wearing a suit. Vax suddenly realised he liked men in suits.
“Percy,” he stood, smiling, accepting the embrace that came his way. Gods, he even smelled expensive.
“I feared I’d imagined how handsome you were last time,” Percy dropped his voice to a more intimate volume as he pulled away, a smile pulling one side of his mouth up, “Apparently not.”
Vax’s ears coloured even more and he was suddenly glad he always styled his hair to cover them.
That’s how they were doing things, huh?
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he smirked, resting a hand on Percy’s hip, “You look lovely, by the way.”
Percy’s confidence suddenly slipped and he gave a bashful smile, “My friend helped me choose it. She’s way better at that sort of stuff than me.”
Vax’s smile became warmer. He found he liked self-assured Percy and awkward nerd Percy. They were less two sides of a coin and more a changeable day of weather in the same sky.
“Well my compliments to her for choosing it and you for looking so good in it,” he grinned, sliding his arm through Percy’s, “Though you’re going to look even better next to me. I forgot who I was going to lunch with…”
Percy stopped, dismay crashing over his expression, “Oh…Vax, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…I didn’t think, I’m sorry if I made you feel like that…”
Vax grimaced, “Percy, no…bad joke, sorry. It’s fine. Though…if there’s a dress code, we might not be getting in…”
“I, um…” Percy coloured a little, “I don’t get turned away from places.”
“Of course not,” Vax looked down at his boots, drawing away from him.
“And…well,” Percy looked through the windows, into the warm exterior of the restaurant, “All those people in there are very well dressed. And I’d much rather spend an evening with you than any one of them. Funny, isn’t it?”
Vax lifted his eyes, so startled it took a few seconds for laughter kicked in, sudden and bright.
“Gods and I thought you were flattering me before…”
“There’s flattery and then there’s truth,” Percy smiled and for a moment, both kinds of weather could be seen in the sky like sun shining through drizzle. It was fairly beautiful.
Once enveloped in the warm, rustic Italian ambiance of the restaurant, the two of them began to talk, each of them surprised by how much they were sharing.
Vax learned that Percy also had a sister, though he didn’t live with her, younger than he was. Neither of them said a word about parents and both were happy with that arrangement. He learned Percy was thirty, had played rugby at his all boys school and would still like to but he didn’t know any teams nearby. He learned he had a mild addiction to video games, was allergic to shellfish and was kind to waitstaff.
Percy learned Vax’ildan preferred red wine to white, partly for the aesthetic which he happily confessed. He learned he’d been out as trans for three years, had been dancing since he was ten and thought tap was a criminally underrated art medium. He had just about every possible ear piercing going, which he shyly showed Percy after a little cajoling, always preferred the second act of a musical to the first and was a very fast eater.
“So…” Percy eventually broached, once he’d finished the last of his affogato, “What would you say to going back to my place after this?”
Vax stopped wondering if there was a subtle way to lick the last smears of chocolate off his plate and looked up, smiling easily, “Of course. Sounds lovely.”
He did a little internal check and found no lingering reservations. Have some probably average at best sex with a handsome, affable guy? He’d heard of worse ways to make rent.
As they walked to Percy’s car, Vax felt his phone buzz in his pocket, a message from his sister.
Are you okay? What do you want to do for dinner?
Vax felt a rush of guilt. He probably should have made sure there were leftovers to take home for her. That was the usual policy when one of them went on a date. The arancini had just tasted so damn good, he’d forgotten.
Sorry, I just ate with a friend. Don’t worry about me.
Less than two minutes later, a reply.
The same friend you mentioned this morning?
Vax narrowed his eyes.
None of your beeswax.
And yes.
“Okay, this is me.”
Vax knew nothing about cars but he could read luxury in the sleek lines of black metal, the silvered wink of axel and ridiculous hood ornament, “Woah…”
“Cars are kind of the one thing I let myself get a little crazy over,” Percy admitted, opening the passenger door for him, “Benefits of having money and being a bit of a nerd for engineering.”
“Yeah well,” Vax shrugged, “You should see my Metro card. It’s pretty swish.”
Percy laughed, sliding in behind the wheel and bringing the engine to life. Vax wondered quietly when the last time someone drove him somewhere was, when he wasn’t left to get wherever he wanted to go on his own two feet.
Of course it was impossible to get to any kind of speed, driving in a city as dense as this, though there was enough power in just the purr of the engine to make Vax anxious if Percy wasn’t such a methodical driver. His hands rarely left the wheel, flitting from here to there when they had to but always returning, blue eyes aware and fixed ahead.
He went to turn on the radio…though drew his hand back after a pause, “Actually…we should probably have a talk about this.”
“About what?” Vax tilted his head.
“Well…about what kind of things we like? About what we don’t like?” Percy bit his lip, “You know. In bed.”
“Oh right,” Vax waited for Percy to say more though none came and he assumed it was his turn first. Clearly Percy’s poised manner of speaking was struggling with talking about sex.
He thought for a moment, deciding to be a little more honest than he was anticipating, a little surer in getting a good reaction, “I don’t usually like being penetrated. Some days I’m down for it but they’re few and far between. Mouth down there is fine but if you’re careful about, you know, the words you use, nothing too specific…I’d appreciate that.”
Percy nodded, still watching the road carefully though he was clearly listening intently, “Okay. Well, that makes what I was going to ask you a lot simpler.”
Vax hummed curiously, prompting him with a look.
Cheeks now fully red, Percy managed to force out in a rush, “I was going to ask if you fancied fucking me?”
Vax gave a bark of delighted laughter, “Atta boy, that wasn’t so hard, huh?”
“Shut up,” Percy was still the colour of Vax’s wine but laughter was bubbling up, “Take this as a warning for the level of inexperience you’re dealing with. In fact, that’s part of the reason why I got in contact with you. Your job is to help me introduce a little bit of…variety into my bedroom. How does that sound?”
Vax grinned, tucking one leg up to his chest, “That sounds like something we can definitely do.”
Vax knew he should be impressed. How could he not be, after seeing the sheer size of the apartment block, a dizzying behemoth of glass and steel that warped perspective in a sickening way, and the opulence of the foyer, everything modern and styled with an effortless hand.
And he was, for a very brief moment. When the elevator doors slid open, right into Percy’s living room and he was shocked by the vista from the wrap around windows, the city wreathed in dusk like a watercolour painting that needed two glances to see was really real, he was too awestruck to speak.
And then all he could think was that this didn’t feel like a home. It felt unlived in. It was like an Ikea showroom, fun to imagine lounging around in but it was sterile and barren. Like a hotel room, like somewhere kept exclusively by a businessman for when he was in the city. Nowhere to really live.
And, as he took him on a tour that didn’t take very long because there was very little in the apartment, Percy looked so lonely. Everything around him seemed too big, making him look like a little kid playing at being his father. Vax watched him rattle around in the black leather, polished silver, exposed brickwork rooms, feeling a strange sense of pity that he couldn’t pin down.
“And this is the bedroom…” Percy pushed back the door, holding it for Vax.
Not my room. The bedroom.
It did have a little more life to it, a good amount of mess that had clearly been hurriedly tidied away that morning. Books, a small TV clearly only there for the benefit of the games console resting against it, half-finished projects of cogs and soldered pipes, blue prints tacked up on the walls that were so detailed and covered in scribbled notes they were incomprehensible to Vax. There was even something living, a plant on the windowsill with brilliant white blooms that were jug shaped and gave off a wonderful smell, kind of like a lily.
“What’s this?” Vax asked, stroking one of its wide, shiny green leaves.
“Oh,” Percy took off his suit jacket, hanging it idly on the door, “A present from my friend, Keyleth. She’s a druid, spends all her time minding the wildlife in the national park outside the city, breeds her own new strains when the mood takes her. She named that one after me as a bit of a joke.”
“What’s the joke?” Vax’s ears picked up with interest.
Percy stopped in the middle of taking off his tie, looking like he wished he hadn’t said anything, “Oh, it’s, um…kind of an inside thing…”
“You are not getting away with that, absolutely no chance,” Vax raised an eyebrow, folding his arms determinedly.
“Gods, I wanted to wait as long as possible before I had to tell you this,” Percy pinched the bridge of his nose, knocking his glasses askew, “We haven’t even had sex yet…”
“I promise I’ll still have sex with you!” Vax wheedled, kneeling on the bed, leaning towards him eagerly, “Tell me!”
“It’s…I’m going to murder Keyleth…it’s called the Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III Lilium…I mean, the lilium part isn’t in my name obviously…that’s the plant…”
Vax paused, carefully controlling his expression, “Oh…”
Percy winced, “Are you still willing to have sex with me?”
“You said you’d pay my rent, right?”
“Yes.”
“We can still have sex.”
Percy looked abashed for a moment until Vax couldn’t maintain his composure and burst out laughing, soon catching his riotous cackling in spite of himself.
Once they’d caught their breath, Percy found himself down to his shirt and pants, the next step in undressing rather a major one, “Mind if I…?”
Vax gave an encouraging gesture, perching on the sheets, eyes interested. The being watched, the sudden irrefutable presence of another heartbeat in the room, another set of eyes on him that hadn’t been there before, had something inside him stirring.
He couldn’t say any more than that yet. Just something. But he wanted to chase after it.
He took his shirt off slowly, methodically, not yanking it off and tossing it to one side like he normally would. He was suddenly so aware of everything, every single movement he made, every inch of newly revealed skin.
“Nice ink,” was the only comment Vax made as he abandoned shirt and trousers. But there was a spark of hunger in his almost black eyes and his pupils were widening by the second.
“Thank you,” Percy smirked, hooking his thumbs under the band of his boxer shorts, “I hate them. Relic of my misspent early twenties.”
“You’ll have to tell me about them one day,” the half elf returned easily, somehow the epicentre of the charged, wanton tension in the room despite being fully clothed down to the boots, “Now the underwear. Please.”
Percy swallowed hard, feeling something not unlike fireworks in his chest. He slid down the last bit of fabric preventing him from being completely and utterly naked (though he wasn’t sure if glasses counted) in front of another person in years.
“Well well…” Vax’s voice was a murmur though it hit Percy like electricity, “You’re a very handsome man, Percival.”
Percy didn’t want to admit how good those words made him feel, his body responding in kind, electricity gathering low in his stomach and between his legs, “Now you, please?”
Vax hopped up happily. Whereas Percy had been shy, methodical, aware of every move he made, his partner was haphazard and eager as if this was all very commonplace.
Though he stopped when Percy blurted, “That’s a little small, isn’t it?”
Vax froze, looking down at himself, only wearing his flesh coloured binder and his boxers. He didn’t enjoy this transition period and stopping still during it was jarring, “What?”
“Your…sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Percy bit his lip, “Your binder. It’s a little too small for you?”
“Well…” Vax shifted, “Yeah, I could do with the next size up but…this one still does the job, I guess. How do you even know that?”
“My boyfriend at boarding school was trans,” Percy explained quickly, “I did my research back then.”
“Oh,” Vax’s defensiveness drained away and he relaxed into the unfamiliar but welcome luxury of not feeling like a novelty, “Well remembered, then.”
It came off shortly after, anyway, along with his underwear. The look on Percy’s face was flattering to say the very least.
Oh yeah, both men had the exact same thought at the exact same time, unbeknownst to each other, I chose well.
“I ordered it on kind of a whim so I hope it’ll fit…”
Vax gave himself a long, indulgent look in the mirror. The harness was real leather and steel, the metal excitingly cold against his flesh, all of it cradling his hips perfectly. The toy itself was black, as if to match the straps that held it in place and married it to his body, black as Vax’s hair.
There was a lovely synergy to the whole look.
“Wicked,” he grinned, not really having heard a word Percy was saying.
He turned and gently pushed him back onto the bed, stopping his anxious muttering, turning it into soft gasp, so soft for such an angular man. Percy looked lovely against the black silk of his expansive bed, so startlingly pale, like he was negative space in the middle of the world.
Vax personally thought the best angle to view a lover from was while pinning them to the surface you were about to fuck them on. And Percy certainly didn’t disappoint, pupils as dilated as an excited cat, red flush spreading down from his cheeks across his chest like ink dropped in milk. Vax could watch as the breath caught in his throat.
A perfect time for a first kiss. And so that’s what he did.
He tasted of wine, white wine, but Vax thought he could learn to bear that t when it came from someone else’s lips. Percy’s hand came up and held him just right, resting right there on the nape of his neck, thumb close enough to feel his racing pulse. His own hand moved down and Percy’s long legs parted so easily for him, letting him feel that softer, warmer skin, the more tender parts of him.
The sweet man was hard enough to be steadily leaking pre already. It must have been a while since he’d had someone. Vax gave him a teasing squeeze but continued down, he had a job to do right now and was determined to do it well.
“Easy, sweetling, I just need to…” Vax gasped, their kiss having left his lungs burning around the edges. He snatched up the bottle of lube helpfully left on the nightstand, though with the immense size of the bed it was a bit of a reach. It was cool against his fingers, thick, the oddly scentless scent of it catapulting him back to other places, other bodies, other faces. To realising sex could be a lot of fun, to rediscovering himself under the hands of others.
He would always love it.
“Just get you good and ready…” he murmured, voice breathy and soft. All Percy could do was moan.
Turns out Percy was tight in more than just personality. But Vax’s fingers knew their business well and carefully, so carefully, he made the man underneath him yield. Percy whimpered as Vax’s fingers breached him, slick and cold, igniting everything inside him that had been waiting anxiously for the spark it needed.
“Vax’ildan…” he gasped, fingers tightening in the sheets and the tightly curled hair at the nape of his lover’s neck.
“It’s okay,” the whisper came in return, “Relax, deep breaths…”
Percy followed his instructions, feeling the thrill of giving himself over to someone else’s control. Evening had stolen away when neither of them were looking and the room had quickly become dark so everything was down to just shapes, devoid of detail.
He felt, rather than saw, Vax’s heart beat faster, teasing his own, beckoning for it to follow. He felt their skin pressed together, growing hot. He heard the smile in Vax’s voice, he felt the creeping cold of more lube running between his cheeks, he smelt sex and sweat and something amber sweet in Vax’s hair. He felt his muscles loosen, melting, becoming Vax’s to reshape as he chose.
“Ready for me?” the half elf whispered in his ear, the hand that wasn’t half buried in Percy resting delicately on his chest, almost chastely in bizarre contrast to the fingers that still rocked inside him, coming achingly close to his prostate but very deliberately not getting there.
“I need you,” Percy moaned, nerves prickling at the neediness in his own voice, the pleading.
Vax caught it too, teeth flashing in the gloom as he grinned, “Good boy.”
Not finishing in that moment took all of Percy’s brainpower, leaving him only enough to whimper, hoping that brought across how much he really, really liked that.
Vex shifted, pressing the rounded tip of the toy a breath into Percy, giving a feather soft groan as the pressure brought the other end of the toy flush against where he needed it. Percy himself swallowed back another whine, feeling the sweet stretch of his entrance. Obediently, he hooked his hands behind his knees and brought them to his chest, leaving himself even more open and exposed, offering himself completely.
He got exactly what he wanted. Vax moved further into him, hips finding a comfortable depth then rocking back and forth.
“Gods, that feels good…” Percy’s eyelids fluttered, his voice a smoky rasp, “Deeper…”
“I’m getting there,” Vax sounded delighted, “Let’s not walk before we can run or you’re not going to be able to do either tomorrow.”
But his thrusts were getting deeper, more deliberate, hitting both of their sweet spots at the same time. Percy began to keen at the apex of each one and soon Vax was grunting and gasping along with him, arms starting to shake and fingers starting to claw at the sheets.
“Can you come just from this? Just from having me in your ass?” Vax panted, whole body taut as a drawn bow.
Percy nodded, fingers leaving white marks in his own legs, “Yes, gods, I’m there, I’m coming…”
Vax grinned, timing it perfectly as he leaned in and kissed him deeply, hitting his prostate directly, swallowing Percy’s loud, shaky moan of release as he shuddered through his own.
It was a while before either of them could marshal words but Vax got there first, “And how was that, Percival Frankenstein von Whatever Lilypants?”
Percy made a sound that probably would have managed to be a laugh if he had any breath, “Damn that fucking plant…”
Giggling, Vax drew out of him and rolled onto his back, the whole room tipping around him and settling a little lopsided but he didn’t care.
“So…” Percy rolled over, lying on his stomach, probably getting the sheets filthy but that was already done, “I think this is going to work out?”
“Me too,” Vax smiled, “That was good.”
“I did set up the bank transfer, of course,” he added quickly, “I haven’t forgotten. Before the 15th, right?”
Vax hadn’t realised how heavy the stress of making that month’s rent had been, not until it disappeared in that moment.
“Thanks Percy. And the coffee was really sweet of you, by the way.”
Percy smiled and shrugged, though clearly pleased, “I thought it would be a nice way to start, at least until I get a few more ideas.”
Vax thought for a moment, letting himself actually want, trying to remember how that felt, “I like…oh, I like knives!”
As soon as it was out of his mouth he realised how that sounded and he clamped his jaw shut.
Percy looked at him, “Wait…what?”
“Are you absolutely, positively sure?” Vax asked for what must have been the fiftieth time, “It’s going to leave a hole, you know that?”
Sat on the couch in a loosely cinched blue robe, Percy waved a dismissive hand, “I’ll repair any damage. Go ahead.”
“You might have to wave goodbye to your security deposit…” Vax warned, tossing the kitchen knife lightly from hand to hand, getting a better feel for its weight. Not a throwing knife by any means, a lot heavier and clunkier than his own set, but it would do for a demonstration.
“Vax’ildan, my sweet, if I’d ever had one of those it would have been gone years ago,” Percy arched an eyebrow, “But the company owns the building. Let fly.”
Vax laughed, taking aim at the square white pillar, part of the partition between the kitchen and the living space, immaculately painted and polished. And ideal to plant a knife in. He focused, drew in a long slow breath and then released it as his hand flashed forward.
Half a heartbeat later, the knife was buried half to the hilt in the plaster, a disapproving puff of dust and the ghost of a loud thud settling around it.
“Holy shit,” Percy sounded awed and when Vax turned to look at him, he couldn’t help but notice a now familiar blush in his cheeks.
He’d already texted his sister, giving her a heads up that he was sleeping out at a friend’s. It was only half a lie, Percy could probably be considered a friend at this point.
They just wouldn’t be doing a lot of sleeping.
#sugar daddy au#perc'ildan#percy de rolo#vax'ildan#vex'ahlia#vex and vax#cr fic#critical role#vox machina#modern au#urban fantasy au#smut
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I’m jealous of the rain (that falls upon your skin)
Pairing: pikelan
Words: 4460
Link: ao3
Soundtrack: jealousy - labrinth
Pike did not like jealousy. She certainly wasn’t interested in entertaining it. Jealousy had always had an ungrateful edge to it for; like she wasn’t appreciating what she had. After everything her grandfather Wilhand had done for her, there was no way she could accept that from herself.
The thing was, she also didn’t like people flirting with Scanlan, apparently.
They were at their favourite bar with the entire crew on a Friday night. After spending their week in various ways, they usually hung out there to let off some steam and just be around each other. Grog had just returned with their drinks and distributed them, and now they were teasing Vax, and laughing. But Pike nursed her drink in silence.
Scanlan had gone to the bar with Grog and stayed there, trying to charm Jarrett into pulling out the karaoke set early tonight, just like he did at least once a month. Jarrett put up a fight, still, but everyone knew he would cave eventually.
There were two girls at the bar, too, who Pike had seen around a couple of times over the last few months. They’d always looked nice. But now one had apparently mustered up the courage to join Jarrett’s conversation with Scanlan and make a move on him.
Usually, she would cheer her on. She had a lot of respect for girls who went after boys in bars like this. And this had happened a million times before; someone went after Scanlan, because he was so damn charming, and he welcomed them with open arms. It never bothered her.
But Scanlan had been changing, lately, so now Pike had as well.
She sipped her Guiness and, for the gazillionth time, tried to figure out what exactly had happened during the past five years.
She remembered meeting Scanlan like it was yesterday. She’d gone to a festival with Keyleth and the twins, somewhere outside in the sunlight. There were a lot of flowers crowns involved, and it was a great afternoon. A few hours in, Grog had arrived, and he’d brought Scanlan, who he had met in a bar somewhere. Scanlan had fell in with them like it was the most natural thing to do; he just dropped himself on the grass beside Pike and started making a flower crown the best he could.
He had grinned at her, and flirted excessively, and she remembered seeing stars.
He was funny, and kind, and he had zoned in on her so specifically that for two glorious hours she thought she had just come across something special.
But she had met Scanlan while he was at the top of his game before long, he was showering other girls in compliments and attention and she realised it didn’t really mean anything. He was just having fun all around, and went home with whoever was the most interested.
She soon found that the only way to be comfortable around Scanlan was to dismiss him. Never take him seriously. Never play his games. She just had to ignore his advances and focus on anything else he was telling her, because Scanlan tended to slip in facts about himself and his life that mattered while he was claiming to adore her.
It was hard not to believe him, sometimes, when he looked at her so sincerely or started shaking a little when she touched him. Part of her knew that he had gotten serious about her within the first few months of them knowing each other. But Scanlan wasn’t ready to be committed to anyone, and she wasn’t willing to wait. So, instead – and maybe this was unfair of her, but she was just human, and she had to do something to protect herself – she refused to believe any of it.
Things changed when Scanlan found out he had a four-year-old daughter.
Kaylie’s mother hadn’t intended for him to find out about her at all, and she fought him tooth and nail. The battles left him bloody, and frustrated, and a mess, and for a year he was the biggest asshole. He was completely focused on himself, on Sybill, on trying to find a way to his daughter whether he deserved it or not. When Pike stopped talking to him after he had hurt her Grog – who was a big softie at heart, and Scanlan knew that, the fucking asshole – he had hardly batted an eye.
She refused to let it break her heart. She wouldn’t let it.
(Of course, it did.)
A year after he stopped talking to them all, he came back. He was different, then. More mature. More in touch with himself. He was part of Kaylie’s life, now, and he was happy with that. It had taken a bit for the group to forgive him, but he was so sincere in his apologies that they hadn’t been able not to. After all, they had always wanted him back. He was giving him the best excuse to forgive him: true change.
And that’s when everything changed for Pike.
Scanlan stopped sleeping around. He stopped flirting with her so much. (She didn’t miss it. She didn’t.) He tried to be the best dad he could for Kaylie, who was by then almost six years old. And Pike just… She just…
She’d always liked him, even when he was, debatably, a piece of shit. How was she supposed to ignore this?
But she wasn’t even sure he still thought of her in a romantic way. Being a father had consumed him, in a way, and she definitely wasn’t willing to run the risk of rejection. Nope. No way.
It was silly, after all the times she’d rejected him, and he had still loved her. But she had told herself so often that he didn’t mean any of it that she’d almost convinced herself it was true, and now she was reaping what she sowed.
Pike glanced at Scanlan and the girl over the rim of her glass.
Now she was reaping what she sowed. And she didn’t like it.
“You okay, pickle?”
Pike looked up at Vax beside her. He was smiling at her, and she thought he looked both a little worried and amused, somehow. He’d probably guessed what she was thinking.
“Fine,” she said, turning away from the view of the bar a little more. She couldn’t just keep staring at them. She shouldn’t care.
She realised that even after going over the last five years again, she still didn’t fully know how she had ended up here. Somehow, going through these motions was always futile.
Vax tapped the bottom of her glass with his ring finger. “Just keep drinking.”
“Happily.” She took another sip. “This stuff is good.”
“Aye, Pikey!” Grog grinned from the other side of the table, “That’s the spirit.”
“Don’t get her drunk, Grog, I need someone to drag me out of here at the end of the night!”
Pike startled at the sound of Scanlan’s voice. He put his drink down on the table beside her and smiled at her.
“Scan-man!” Vax immediately scooted over, grinning at Pike, and she had no choice but to scoot over to and make room for Scanlan beside her unless she wanted people to notice she was being weird.
She sent Vax a private, sour glare, but then put a smile on her face and made room for Scanlan. He plopped down next to her with a grin, his thigh pressed up against hers, and she wasn’t sure she could deal with that at the moment, to be honest.
“What are you doing here?” Vex teased, “I thought you were busy?”
Scanlan shook his head. “He isn’t bailing tonight. No karaoke before eleven. Even after I told him he was the most beautiful man in the room! An obvious lie. I am the most beautiful man in this room.”
“Not what I meant,” Vex pushed. She gestured to the girls at the bar. “Don’t tell me she just wanted directions?”
Pike took a sip of her drink.
“In fact, my dearest Vex, she wanted drink recommendations. Clearly she took one look at me and realised I was a connoisseur.”
“Not exactly one look,” Pike said.
Grog, Keyleth, Percy and Vex looked at her a little strangely. She refused to see what looks Vax and Scanlan were sending her.
“I’m just saying I’ve seen them around here before,” she continued with a light blush, “On other evenings.”
“I guess my beauty is just intimidating to some people,” Scanlan said solemnly.
Grog turned his eyes to him now, sending him the same strange look. “Isn’t like you to see it that way, bud.”
“Sure it is!” Scanlan took a big gulp of his drink and then slammed it down on the table in front of him, “Now, what were we talking about?”
The others let it go after that and started talking about Vex’s new boss, and then bosses in general, and Pike threw in some comments about how mean one of the surgeons at the hospital could be and settled down a little. Slowly, Scanlan’s warmth beside her became comforting instead of distracting, and she started to lean into him just a little, happy with her drink and her friends’ laughter and the subtle smell of Scanlan’s elderflower shampoo.
They had another drink, and one more, and she was just getting sleepy when a shadow fell over their table and she looked up to see the girl from the bar smiling down at Scanlan beside her.
“Hi again!” she said, and across the table Grog and Vex sent each other meaningful looks.
Immediately, Pike wasn’t having such a good time anymore.
She went back to her empty glass, staring at it.
“Hello,” Scanlan answered, and she could hear his smile, but he wasn’t putting on his full charm. That was something, she supposed.
She was acting like an idiot. She had to stop.
“I had that IPA you recommended!” the girl said brightly. She sounded a little nervous. “It was pretty great, so I thought I might buy you one as thanks?”
“Oh, well…”
“Might as well,” Vex threw in, “You finished your drink, right Scanlan?”
Grog gave him a thumbs-up, probably feeling like a great wing-man.
“I did,” Scanlan said, and before he could continue, before Pike even knew what she was doing she put a hand on his thigh.
Scanlan froze immediately, and the girl glanced down at Pike’s hand in surprise, then up to her face.
Pike sent her one of her brightest smiles, not removing her hand, and tried to look at little apologetic. Deception wasn’t her strong suit, but this didn’t feel like a lie. It felt like raw honesty. The kind she was never able to put into words.
“Sorry,” Scanlan said beside her, his voice a little higher than usual, “I’m good here.”
The girl glanced at Pike’s hand again. “I see. Well, uh…” She recovered pretty quickly. “Have a good night!” With that, she turned around and swiftly walked back to the bar, where her friend immediately started to question her.
This is when Pike kindly asked herself what the fuck she was doing.
She started to pull her hand away, as if suddenly Scanlan’s body burned her skin, but before she could Scanlan grabbed her hand tightly with his own.
Pike looked up at him in surprise, but he was staring straight ahead, clenching onto her fingers like a vice.
“What just happened there?” Vex asked, and for a second Pike thought she’d seen everything. But when she looked at Vex, she seemed clueless enough, and mostly confused about why Scanlan was still sitting with them and not at the bar with that girl.
“Like I said,” Scanlan told her. He squeezed Pike’s hand. “I’m good here.”
A furious blush started running over her cheeks and Pike quickly hid it behind her empty glass and her bangs. She tried to move the hand Scanlan was holding, but he refused to budge even an inch. His skin was hot on hers and just a little clammy. He still refused to look at her.
“So what were you saying about that colleague of yours, Pike?” Vax suddenly asked.
Pike startled again and looked up at her friend, who had definitely seen everything. Vax was grinning at her, and she was a little confused about what exactly he wanted from her in that moment.
“Yeah, uh… “ she said, “Sheila. She’s new. She’s… Well, she’s pretty great, actually.”
“Didn’t she get the same weird coffee order that you always get?”
“Yeah!”
Before long, Vax had pulled her back into a conversation and a sort-of normal atmosphere returned to the table. ‘Sort-of’ being the key word, since Pike was still touching Scanlan more intimately than probably ever, and even though the conversation had her little distracted, her skin was still burning up. But she did relax a bit, and that was probably what Vax had been angling for, now she thought about it.
Once Pike relaxed and accepted that well, guess that’s where her hand was now, Scanlan seemed to relax as well. Slowly, very slowly, he started playing with her fingers. At first, she thought it was accidental, but when she didn’t move her hand away, he grew a little bolder, and there was really no denying that it was intentional when he was caressing the back of her hand very softly.
“Are you cold, Pike?” Keyleth suddenly asked, clearly surprised.
It would be ridiculous: the bar was getting stuffy, and hotter, and there was definitely no reason to be feeling cold right now. But Pike had goosebumps on her arms anyway.
“A little,” she lied, her cheeks red with the heat of the place.
“Do you need a jacket?” Keyleth pressed. She already moved to get her own denim from behind her in the booth.
But Scanlan was slowly turning Pike’s hand around to trace the heartlines of her palm and she really didn’t want to move her hand.
“I’m sure it’ll pass soon!” She beamed at Keyleth.
Keyleth smiled back. “Okay. Just let me know if it doesn’t, yeah?”
“If you’re cold, we should just huddle together more,” Vax decided, and with another one of his grins (which were adorable but also infuriating) he pressed against her, pushing her further into Scanlan. Scanlan took that chance to lace his fingers with hers and hold her hand for real now. Pike was starting to feel a little overwhelmed.
When was the last time she’d held hands with someone? Not that long ago, probably – she held her friends’ hands a lot. But not like this.
This was…
She glanced up at Scanlan, who was glancing at her too, and for a moment their eyes met and he sent her a smile that was in equal parts charming and embarrassed.
This was different.
They spent the rest of the evening trying to ensure that neither of them had to get up. When someone had to go for drinks, they were suddenly deep in conversation with other people - one time even with each other, which, since it was so obvious that they were doing it because they didn't want to move, made the conversation pretty awkward, but also rather hilarious.
But Pike's bladder was slowly filling up, and at some point she really couldn't hold it anymore, so she went off to the toilet feeling disappointed and just a little bit relieved. Once the contact was broken, she felt like something hazy was removed from her brain. Immediately, she started overthinking, of course, but the small amount of alcohol she'd had helped in pushing that way for the time being. Pike was pretty great at repressing her emotions when she felt like it.
She’d let go of his hand. That was definitely for the best. What happened just now was weird, and it would probably fuck up their friendship, and it was best to never speak of it again. She should pretend it never happened. That would be best.
But when she sat back down, Scanlan smiled at her, and when he took her hand again she made no attempt to pull away whatsoever. She just let a warm contentedness wash over her and smiled at her friends. Strangely enough, she felt more in touch with the present than she had in a long while. She was enjoying the night more than usual, since normally part of her was always considering this or that, her job, or Wilhand, or Grog, or anything else. Right now, she was just there, in the moment, holding Scanlan's hand. It felt like home.
Time went very quickly after that. She got out of having to do karaoke, as always, and this time she let Scanlan’s hand go without any care in the world when he stepped up to give his performances. She knew he’d be back.
She laughed and clapped along and had an arm-wrestling contest with Grog (she did lose, but barely) and then it was time to go.
They left together, like they always did. Their little family didn’t leave anyone behind. If someone wanted to go, they all went. From this bar, at least – sometimes some of them went off to the next place to continue the night. But this was bar belonged to all of them, so no one was ever there alone.
Pike let go of Scanlan’s hand when they started to leave, and it was weird not to hold it anymore. She wondered whether she’d hold it again sometime soon. Still, she wasn’t ready for any questions from the others, so she couldn’t let them see it.
They went outside and chatted for a bit more before all heading off in different directions. Keyleth went home with Vax– something Vex clearly felt very weird about, so she decided to head to one more bar that night on her own to talk with the white-haired barman she’d befriended there recently. That was something Vax felt very weird about, because he clearly saw something in his sister’s behaviour that she hadn’t realised yet herself.
Grog asked if Pike wanted to share a cab, but Pike found herself saying that she’d rather walk home. It wasn’t that far away, and she loved taking the walk, even at this time of night. She was pretty confident in her ability to defend herself.
“I’ll join you,” Scanlan said quickly.
Pike wanted to say she hadn’t been hoping he would say that, but honestly? She wanted to hold his hand some more.
Grog shrugged his shoulders and called a cab for himself, and the group separated, all heading off in different directions.
Scanlan and Pike walked together in silence for a while. Scanlan had his hands in his pockets.
Was that a sign? Was he regretting this? Or had he not been serious? Or just-
Nope, hold up, she wasn’t doing this. Not yet. She could overthink tonight in fifteen minutes, when she was home. Not yet.
Pike sighed as they turned the first corner and left the view of their friends.
“You okay, Pikey?” Scanlan asked immediately.
Pike looked up at him and tried for a smile. “Just tired.”
Scanlan sent her a soft smile back and pulled his hands from his pockets. Pike’s heart soared with hope immediately, and when he took her hand again she was reminded of the first day she met him, and the stars she felt then.
“You work too hard,” Scanlan said, and he squeezed her hand.
Pike was sure she was blushing furiously again, but she didn’t have a real reason to hide it this time. So she just kept looking at him, boldly, unashamed of her reaction, and that allowed her to watch Scanlan’s cheeks redden as well.
“Well, there’s a lot of work to do,” Pike said.
They were both slowing down, and quietly stopped walking.
“You don’t have to do everything,” Scanlan answered.
“Not everything. Just as much as I can.”
Scanlan shook his head, but he looked awed rather than disappointed. He smiled at her and moved closer. She could smell his shampoo again, and feel the heat of his body radiating from him.
“You are the best person I know,” he told her softly, and his gaze wandered down to her lips.
Pike could feel her breathing getting shallow, and she thought she would start shaking from the intensity of the moment. Instead, she just kept looking at him, and watched the way his eyes closed as he leaned in.
Scanlan pressed his lips to hers softly, in a gentle, tender kiss, but his free hand moved up to cradle her face immediately and there was nothing hesitant about his soft grip. He moved on her like he had thought about it a million times before, and considering everything that had happened between them over the course of five full years, that wasn’t unlikely. Pike could relate to that.
She melted.
She kissed him back with the same softness, and there was something so natural about it that she wasn’t sure anymore why she hadn’t done this before. She slipped her free hand into his hair, opening her mouth to breathe him in, and he let out the softest whimper that made blood roar in her ears. He pressed her into him, their entangled hands moving to her waist so he could pull her even closer. The feeling of being chest to chest with him like this was almost more than she could bear.
It took five minutes for them to pull apart even the slightest bit, foreheads pressed together, held up in a tight embrace, breathing shallowly.
“Please tell me you’re not drunk,” Scanlan mumbled. He had his eyes closed.
“You would have kissed me if I was drunk?” she asked.
“No. Maybe. I don’t know. I hope not. I don’t want to…” He fumbled for the right words. “I wouldn’t want to fuck that up. Not that badly. Not… I hope I wouldn’t do that.”
Pike couldn’t help but smile and she pulled her hand from his hair to caress his cheekbone. “I think you underestimate yourself. You wouldn’t do that.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her. “Well,” he said softly, “You know me better than anyone else. So if you say so…”
Pike attempted to nod solemnly, but she couldn’t repress her smile. “Yes, trust in me. I know you, Scanlan Shorthalt.”
“Pike Trickfoot,” he whispered, and he kissed her again, as if he couldn’t stop himself.
Pike finally let go of his hand so she could wrap both of her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes to press into him as much as possible, hugging him while she kissed him, feeling elated and tingly and right.
Scanlan, however, groaned, and for a moment he sounded like he was in pain. She pulled back to look at him and he sent her a look that was – yes, definitely pained.
“You know I adore you, right? You know?”
She couldn’t believe how insecure he was. She couldn’t believe he didn’t feel it – how much she loved this, how happy she was. She thought she must be radiating happiness, but apparently he couldn’t see it.
Maybe he would hear.
“Scanlan,” she said very softly, brushing her thumb over his cheek, “I think I could spend days just admiring you. I love who you are. I have no doubt in my heart about how I feel about you.”
His eyes were so brown, and so warm, and so full of hope and love. “How do you feel about me?” he whispered.
Pike smiled at him. “I love you. In all the ways there are. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. I feel bad for trying not to feel it for so long.”
He let out a staggering breath and pressed his forehead against hers again. His grip on her tightened, as if he felt more secure in holding her now. A little bit of that exorbitant confidence of his seemed to return. She was happy to be held by it. She loved confident Scanlan as much as she loved vulnerable insecure Scanlan, she realised.
“Why did you?” he asked her.
Pike had to think about that. She knew, of course, but it wasn’t easy for her to put things into words. She wasn’t sure she could say it in a way that he would really understand. “I was scared,” she said finally, “That I would lose you. Or me. I like me.”
He smiled at her, clearly endeared. “I like you too. I wouldn’t want to change you.”
“I know. I think I was just afraid I’d change anyway. That I would… I don’t know, that we would be worse off together. That we would harm each other, somehow. I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense now. I’ve never been so sure that I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been afraid of you.”
“Or yourself,” he added.
“Or myself.”
“You’re pretty great.”
She laughed. “Why, thank you, Scanlan. You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I neve thought you’d love me,” he admitted.
Pike shook her head. “That’s what I mean. You underestimate yourself. Your worth. You’re really not as bad as you think you are.”
He looked away.
“You’re not,” she pressed, waiting for him to look at her again. He did, slowly. “You’re not,” she repeated softly. She smiled. “Although I’ll admit you’ve gotten a lot better since I met you.”
He nodded. “I like myself better now.”
“Well, I liked you all along. Before you liked yourself.”
He looked amazed at that. “I thought you sort of… I don’t know, liked me despite of me being me.”
“You are one insecure bread crumb.”
He laughed and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “You’re the cutest. I love you.”
Her heart soared at those words, growing so warm she thought there might be a sun exploding in her ribcage.
“I can’t believe I found you,” she whispered.
Scanlan pulled her closer, holding her in an embrace, his chin on her shoulder and her arms warm and secure around her body. “Me neither,” he said.
A cold drop of water fell onto Pike’s head. Then another. Another.
They hardly broke away from each other to look up at the sky and watch as it slowly started to rain. They looked at each other again, smiling. A raindrop fell on Pike’s nose and Scanlan kissed it away. She started laughing. He did too.
Then, she pulled out of his embrace and took his hand again, smiling at him in the dark.
“Come on. Let’s go home.”
“Yes, please,” he told her. And they walked on into the night.
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Chapters: 3/?
Relationships: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sharing a Bed, Basically all the tropes, Critmas, Christmas
Summary:
„Could you repeat that, please?“
„“You heard what I said, Percy.“
„I did. I'd still like you to repeat it, simply to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. Because this sounds like something from your brother's mind, not yours.“
„All I asked was if you wanted to spend Christmas with me at my father's place, and make him think that you... that we're... that I have a boyfriend.“
Chapter 1: Driving Home for Christmas
„Could you repeat that, please?“
„“You heard what I said, Percy.“
„I did. I'd still like you to repeat it, simply to make sure my mind isn't playing tricks on me. Because this sounds like something from your brother's mind, not yours.“
Vex sighed and stirred her coffee. They were sitting in the most non-descript Starbucks she'd ever seen – oh, there were many nicer and more familiar little coffee shops dotted through town, but in any of them, they'd stand a chance to be met by someone of their surprisingly large group of friends. And having to awkwardly explain why she was having coffee alone with the newest addition to that group would be bad enough – if any of them overheard her proposition, it would be even worse.
„All I asked was if you wanted to spend Christmas with me at my father's place, and make him think that you... that we're... that I have a boyfriend.“
Percy only sipped on his coffee – he was most definitely used to better – and looked at her over the rim of his cup, one eyebrow raised high even above his glasses. At any other time, Vex would have had to admit that this pensive look of his was annoyingly attractive, especially focussed on her – right now it was only making her nervous in a bad way. She needed to make this deal. She hadn't expected him to be quite so indifferent.
„I mean, you told me that you're not doing anything for Christmas, really, with your sister staying at university with her friends. And you're pretty much the only one of our group who knows his way around an estate. And the only one sly enough to keep our story up without mistakes.“
Two little stabs against him, followed by a bit of flattery. She'd learned that it usually worked with Percy, and it seemed to work now – he leaned back in his chair, still looking at her, but far less tense than before.
„And why do you need a fake boyfriend for your christmas with Dad? From what I remember, it's usually you and your brother that team up to give him the finger at any occasion where you have to deal with him.“
„Yes. Usually.“ Vex stirred her coffee once again – her cup was twice as full as his was at this point, and getting cold. But she hadn't invited him here to drink coffee, really. „Except this year, because my brother's managed to find an actually reliable excuse with Keyleth on why he can't follow up on our father's invite.“
„I would've thought your father would want to meet this new girlfriend of Vax's. Did she not get invited?“
„Oh, she did. But her father has decided to give her her christmas gift early, and it turns out to be a double ticket for a trip all across the country, and they've suspiciously decided to cash it in right now, so they're probably going to be... somewhere, in the wilderness, during christmas.“
It was a brilliant excuse, and Vex had a hard time admitting that her brother was lucky to use it. She was more busy with being angry at him for leaving her to deal with it all alone.
„I understand that you don't want to go alone, but why fake an entire relationship? Take Zahra with you, and watch your father's head explode trying not to say anything inappropriate to your on-again off-again girlfriend.“
„I thought of that.“ She hadn't. To be fair, she hadn't thought of Zahra for quite a while. That nagging image of the beautiful white-haired lady in her head during lonely moments had been replaced by someone with equally white hair, but so far, she'd refused to think of it more clearly. „I really can't take Zahra. Not after last year's debacle with Vax and Gilmore. I mean, I do want to annoy my father, but I also kind of want to enjoy christmas for a little bit and not spend it fighting all the time.“
„Stay home, then. Make up a fake boyfriend here in town, and that you're invited to his family's this year, and tell your dad how rude it would be to decline their lovely invite in favour of his cynical one. That way you get out of the whole situation and get to enjoy christmas however you like it.“
However I like it, she thought. The way she liked it was most definitely not sitting at home with Trinket, while her brother was away with his new lady and all her friends had someone to celebrate with except for her. She'd even rather face her father alone instead of that – but she simply couldn't. She really needed this deal with Percy, but there was no apparent getting forward.
„Ok, alright, fine. I guess I'll have to be completely honest here, goddamnit. You really know how to push my buttons.“ She sighed and rubbed across her eyes, not noticing the soft smile that flashed across his face for a second.
„I can't do anything else, no matter what you or I or anyone else thinks of doing that's more reasonable. I wanted to call my father to tell him I'm not coming without Vax, but I got his wife instead. And, god, she's just so nice. So happy to have me visit for the holiday. So I panicked and couldn't think of another excuse and I thought, if I asked to bring a random guy they've never heard of, even she would say no, but she didn't. It got her even more excited to meet my new boyfriend who I made up on the spot.“
It all rushed out in an angry rant against herself, but she was still conscious enough to omit the part where she had immediately thought of him as the new boyfriend to bring – it was only, she convinced herself, because Percy was exactly the kind of guy her father would both like and hate to see as her partner. Wealthy and of a good position, able to better his delinquent daughter's status on one side. Actually wealthier and of a far better status than himself on the other side. And vindictive enough to jab back at any comment her father could make that would only make her rage. She'd seen Percy tear into strangers in the politest way possible when they were too quick to judge his new friends. She could imagine him do it just as perfectly against her father. She kind of wanted to see it, actually.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Percy's laugh. It wasn't loud, all-out laughter, more an amused giggle that slightly grew larger, but it was definitely more than what she was used to from him. She could count the moments of him laughing on one hand, and he definitely never did more than a short snort or grin if they were in larger company. She tried everything she could to make him laugh, but there was no time to cherish it now. He'd already stopped and leaned forward, a wicked smile on his face.
„Vex, if you'd just started with the truth of you getting yourself into situations you didn't assess properly because of your hotheadedness, I would've said yes right away.“ He emptied his cup and his smile turned softer, yet still wicked. „Alright, I'll come with you for christmas. It might actually be enjoyable to watch the chaos unfold.“
„Thank you for driving, as well.“
The 4 hour drive had been surprisingly pleasant. She already knew that Percy could be a decent conversational partner if only his mind was focussed on something else as well, so he couldn't constantly overthink everything he said. And focussing on driving safely through the more and more snow-filled countryside seemed to work.
„Well, I thought if you wanted to make a grand entrance for shock as I expect from you, we probably shouldn't show up in the heap of rust and ducttape that was once your VW beetle.“
He was the only one allowed to talk about her car derisively - if only because she could hear the hint of affection in his voice. Ever since they'd met a year ago, he had been working on her car at least once a month, fixing little hitches and larger problems. It was by now more of a project of his than a car of hers.
„Besides, I wouldn't want to drive in anything that unsafe through this snow.“
He shifted to slow down a bit, and Vex remembered the old newspaper clipping that Pike had quietly told her about. The one detailling the story of how the most influental business man of the area had crashed his car in a snowstorm. How the car behind him, equally filled with family, wasn't able to break quickly enough. How the only ones the Emergency Services could save hours later were a young boy and his little sister. She suddenly realised that Percy offering to drive them both was far more than just a small gesture.
A quiet rustling sound behind them snapped her back to the present. Trinket had gotten up in the backseat and was sniffing around Percy's headrest. Luckily she managed to push the large dog back before he could lick across his ear.
„Trinket, down!“ She turned to Percy, who seemed unfaced by it all. It had happened about 4 times during the drive so far, after all. „And I'm really sorry about Trinket shedding all over the backseat. I promise I'll clean it when we get back home. I just couldn't... the kennel is really expensive.“ That, and she really hoped for a calming pile of fur to cuddle at night after facing her father.
„It's fine, Vex. I've transported worse with this car.“ His mind flashed back to the one and only time he'd offered to play designated driver while on a night out with Grog and Pike and shuddered. „We should be arriving pretty soon, anyway.“
Trinket gave a short, dissatisfied snort before turning to the bag of gifts next to him. Vex reached back even further to shoo him away. She hadn't bought much – not like her father would be interested in it anyway – but showing up empty-handed had been out of the question, and even Vax had left her a small gift for their younger sister. She was far more surprised that Percy had brought his own little bag of neatly wrapped boxes.
„It's very sweet of you to get something for Velora, by the way. She'll love you for it, and so will her mum.“
„Well, I assumed that the rest of the gifts would be from 'us', so to speak.“ They hadn't really talked any further about their fabricated relationship, and Vex wondered if maybe they should've set some guidelines, but assumed that Percy would play along well enough.
„Yes, obviously. But then who's the rest of your boxes for?“ She couldn't help but grin, but he only answered it with his own smirk.
„You wouldn't expect me to forget Trinket, would you?“
„They're here! She's here! It's Vex'ahlia!“
She could hear Velora's happy shouting even through closed car doors as they parked next to her father's ridiculous top-of-the-line sportscar – Vex relished the far more polished look of Percy's well-kept Oldtimer standing out against the showboating of the modern car.
The little girl standing at the front door was excitedly jumping up and down, waving at them until Vex waved back, then ducking inside shouting again for her parents.
The whole trip was probably worth it just for Velora's big smile.
„So this is your father's estate. Quite something for an ambassador.“
Percy was politely understating and they both knew it. Syldor had not been happy with his contract until they included the most modern, painful architecture of a house as possible, and a garden to match it.
Vex remembered her teenage years in this house and thought back the beautiful, historic Whitestone mansion that Percy had brought her and their friends back to once, after a trip together, casually mentioning that he had a 'place to stay' halfway back into town when it was getting dark. Compared to her father's stark grey, minimalist house, Whitestone seemed like a fairytale castle to her.
Percy's mind seemed to work over the same thing.
„I can't really tell just from the front – is it about the size of Whitestone? It might be a bit larger, even. What a place for such a little family.“
„It's always about size with you men, isn't it.“ She snickered, especially when Percy playfully swatted at her arm.
„I was just wondering how your boyfriend's home measured up to your father's. I am here to make him feel inferior, right? That's part of the plan, even if you won't admit it.“
It was easy enough to avoid an answer by picking their luggage out of the trunk, but Vex had quietly assumed that he'd seen through all of her plan the moment she'd asked for his help anyway. Percy, meanwhile, opened the backdoor to a flurry of brown fur jumping and running down the gravel walk to the front door before Vex could say anything to stop him.
„Lord, that- DOG!“ was the first thing they heard of the deep, stoic voice of Syldor, followed by a delighted „Trinket!“ from Velora and a lot of slobbery noises and giggling. Her father stood in the door by now, looking them both up and down as they walked up to him.
„We expected you a bit sooner. I'm afraid lunch is already over.“
„There was an awful lot of snow on the roads. Better safe than sorry, right? But don't worry, we stopped at a lovely place two towns over to eat something.“
It could have been a perfectly normal chat if it weren't for the biting tone in both their voices. Vex had already pushed past him into the hallway, quickly followed by Percy, who almost stumbled over Trinket's wagging tail while Velora scratched the dog's ears. Her mother Devana had arrived right behind her by now.
She greeted Vex with a genuinely happy „Welcome home, my dear!“ and a hug before turning to Percy. „Oh, and you're the young man she told us about!“
„I don't recall the name, unfortunately.“ Syldor chimed in from the side, but before Vex could react, she saw a perfectly fake smile appear on Percy's face.
„I'm terribly sorry about that. We really should have met sooner, at any rate.“ He offered her father his hand. „Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third.“
Vex heard Velora below her quietly gasp as she stared up at the tall man, who now bent down slightly towards her after shaking Syldor and Devana's hands. „You can call me Percy, though, that's far easier to remember.“
Vex didn't take in much for the next few minutes. It was friendly chatter, basic questions about their drive and the weather and how wonderful it was to have snow for christmas, and how used to it Percy must be, coming from the North, and how nice it was to finally meet him. She was much more focussed on watching her father instead, his face shifting ever so slightly from the usually detached mask to a furrowed brow. All Percy had to do was give him his name, she thought, to make him feel bad already.
Luckily she noticed Devana turning to her and shared a quick smile with her.
„I figure you want to put your bags down and maybe rest a bit. Let me show you to the guesthouse – we had it made ready for you this morning!“
„Guesthouse.“ She echoed.
„Yes. We built it only this year after far too many visitors to accomodate in the main.“ Syldor's smile was not even half as friendly as his wife's. „It's just past the patio.“
Not even ten minutes, and she was already shooed out of the house like... well, like an unwelcome relative, Vex thought, when she suddenly felt a hand in hers, squeezing ever so slightly, and looked up at Percy.
„That sounds rather nice, doesn't it, Vex? We'll have some privacy from time to time.“
She wasn't sure what she enjoyed more – her father's brow furrowing even further at the edge of her vision, Devana's short chuckle, or the strange twinkle in Percy's eyes.
„It actually is quite a nice guesthouse.“ Percy sounded as surprised as Vex was once they'd gotten inside and Devana had left them alone.
It was more of a bungalow than a house, definitely a bit further away from the mansion than 'just past the patio', not that she cared. A small living room with a kitchenette – good coffee, Percy would be happy about that – and a bathroom with an actual tub. And a cozy bedroom, she deducted as she opened the last door to carry her luggage inside and stopped still at the sight of the large bed in front of her.
„Oh. Well.“ Percy had followed right behind her, it seemed, as she heard his voice directly into her ear. „The couch looks large enough.“
„Don't be ridiculous.“ Vex turned around a bit too fast, hitting him in the chest with her shoulder before he could step back. „It's a large enough bed, and it's only for a few nights. I've shared with Vax a thousand times, and he's never complained. I'm not a bad bed partner, apparently.“
„He's your brother.“
„Well then I've shared a bed with Grog or Gilmore on some trips as well, and they haven't complained either.“
„It's really not about-“ Percy sighed. His face was hard to read at times, but Vex wondered if she wasn't detecting a hint of very strong embarassment before he shifted back to his usual demeanor. „Alright. Fine. I hope you don't hog the covers, though.“
„Don't worry. It doesn't get nearly as cold as in Whitestone around here.“
He mumbled something she couldn't really make out before setting down his own bag on a chair at the end of the room and began to unpack. She watched him for a minute, almost absent-mindedly – his movements were still so new to her, and she couldn't resist the urge to study them. She could tell all of her friends from quite a distance simply based on their moving, a habit she developed for far worse things when she and Vax were younger. It was better to notice shifty behaviour or dangerous people from a distance rather than up close. But they were in a better place now, and her talent was worth not much more than being able to order their friend's drink long before they'd even found them in the pub and surprise them with it.
Still, she wanted to put Percy's to memory as well. He was slow in a very careful way, and precise. No movement seemed unecessary, everything was calculated. Vex wondered if he ever did or said anything without thinking it through at least three times. Then again, he seemed less decided and cock-sure whenever he was faced with the wit of the twins... or her alone.
„I wonder how long it'll take before we can make your father's head implode from sheer frowning.“ He turned to her with a grin, and she was glad her eyes shifted up quickly enough to not be noticed.
„If you keep flashing your title and flirting with his daughter right in front of him, probably just a few hours.“
„You just let me know if I take it too far. Preferably with a hard kick against the shin under the table, anything else I probably won't notice. We haven't really talked about this fake relationship beforehand.“
„Don't worry, darling. I don't think you could ever take it too far.“
She'd vanished towards the kitchen before he could stammer out a reply.
Her father's christmas dinner was smaller than usual – a few select and actually polite guests, rather than the party he used to throw when the twins were younger. Vex watched Devana sitting next to Velora, who happily turned her potatoes into mashed ones with her fork while the adults held conversations above her head, and wondered just how much they both had changed her father.
He was still more than enough of a pretentious idiot, though. Percy had been introduced as simply „Percy, Vex'ahlia's boyfriend“ - and kept repeating his full name almost in defiance while Vex grinned at the guest's various reactions to it and her father's face turning more and more sour.
Other than that, neither she nor Percy had much to fight against. Her father had decidedly seated them as far away from him as possible, it seemed, to avoid any discussions. Conversation with others at their table was light, and people seemed more interested in Percy's family business than his relationships.
Except for the traditionally eccentric and loud aunt that every family seemed to have – even one as cold and distant as Syldor's.
„So, now, you lovebirds!“ Aunt Sidiah sounded as if she'd had at least 2 more glasses of wine than anyone else. „Tell me, tell me more! Tell me everything!“
„I think everything might be a bit too much.“
„Oh, don't be like that, Vex! It's just such a rare thing for you to show interest in a boy, let alone bring him home! Not like your brother.“
Percy couldn't help but grin – he'd only just become a part of their friend group when Vax had decided to bring Gilmore to easter brunch at Dad's, but he had heard the only slightly exaggerated tale at their own brunch afterwards. Apparently Gilmore's glorious attire and behaviour didn't mesh well with Syngorn's high society, which was surprising, considering how much class the man could show if he wanted to – but maybe he and Vax hadn't wanted to.
„So tell me! How did you meet? When?“
„I'm afraid it's a rather boring story.“ Percy was quicker on the draw than Vex. „We were at the same New Years party last year – shared friends, you know – and both without a date, so I guess we were sort of left alone together. I don't know how much of it was on purpose.“ He winked at Vex, who was surprisingly quick to look down at her food. „We met for coffee a week later, and it just went on from there.“
It wasn't a lie, she thought. He didn't know the part where she'd annoyed her brother for a week that she had no New Years date to kiss at midnight while Vax had two, and maybe he hadn't noticed the wide grin on Keyleth's face when she'd introduced them to each other at the party. And he was simply polite enough to omit the bit where she'd drunkenly plastered a fat smooch on him at midnight. She remembered his bright red face and his flustered stammer, and the tiny smile that crept up before Grog with his novelty glasses smashed them both together in a bear hug.
Coffee a week later was more of a group tradition, anyway. He'd kept a chair for her when she was late, with his big bright coat.
„So it's almost your anniversary, then!“ Aunt Sidiah clapped her hands together. „Are you planning anything special?“ A wink. „Maybe a ring?“
Now Vex was faster. „I'd say a year is maybe a bit too early for that. I think fun at a regular NYE party will be enough for us.“
„And a gift.“ Percy smiled, and it didn't seem as fake as it had for the rest of the evening.
„If you want, darling.“
„Oh, always."
#Perc'ahlia#Percy#Vex'ahlia#Critical Role#Crit Role#Vox Machina#Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III
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strangled silence
Summary: Vex was not a victim. She did not suffer. Yet still the memories rattle her to the core.
Pairings: None
Warnings: implied abuse/emotional manipulation
She had never said no.
In the days, weeks, months that it happened, when Vex wanted nothing more than to claw her way out, run for the hills and never look back, she didn’t. She didn’t tell anyone, not him, nor Vax or Trinket or anyone else, how much her stomach dropped and her heart fluttered in trapped fear every time it happened, every time she had to slink over to his room and undress and lay down and pretend she enjoyed it.
There wasn’t even any money. She walked away with nothing, less than nothing after another shred of her pride and dignity had been torn away from her, buttoning her shirt quickly because looking at her own naked skin made her sick.
She had been young, and foolish, and desperate, and maybe that was reason enough but it had never made sense to her, and made even less sense to feel this awful and disgusted and filthy when she had never said no.
Which was why, when sharing a girl’s night with Keyleth and Pike at a bar in Whitestone, and they asked what each other’s worst sexual encounter was, Vex was both horrified and furious with herself for thinking of those days, for thinking of him.
“I’ve never been with anyone but Vax,” Keyleth said, clutching her drink, a severe blush burning under her freckles. “I guess– our first time wasn’t amazing, um. I really liked it. But since then we’ve… gotten a lot better.” She tucked her drink closer, biting her bottom lip so hard it looked like she might break the skin.
Pike laughed and patted Keyleth’s back, thankfully divested of her gauntlets for the night. “That’s okay, Keyleth! Thanks for being honest.” She grinned conspiratorially. “Was it Vax’s first time too?”
Keyleth laughed nervously and took a long, slow sip of her drink.
“Well then.” Pike turned to Vax. “You’re going to have to tell us more about your brother, but first, spill. What was your worst time with someone?”
Vex’s shoulders tensed, her mind flashing back to when she’d been nineteen, young and stupid and still naive to the world despite having run away from home and living alone in the woods with her brother and her pet.
They’d gotten so tired of living out there, of always running, of being afraid someone would see them and have a friend of a friend who knew their father who would drag them back to Syngorn kicking and screaming. Even then, years later, they were paranoid. And if they’d stayed a few days at an inn to take some baths and be around other people, if one of the bar patrons had noticed Vex and convinced her to stay for a few drinks, well, who could blame her? He’d been human, too, something she’d known would piss her father off were he to ever find out.
He’d smiled and told her that she was gorgeous, something Vex had rarely heard from the elves in Syngorn. It had felt… nice.
“Vex?”
She jolted out of her thoughts. “Um. That’s.” She coughed and sipped her drink, wishing belatedly that she’d ordered something stronger. “It’s a long story.”
Pike frowned. “Is it?”
She’d never said no, because she was young and pretty and the man had called to her so mournfully when she’d talked about going back to her room, to her brother, insisted she stay longer and talk because he wanted to hear all about her life as a half-elf. And she’d stayed; his touch was warm and the inn’s food was good and it had felt nice when he put his arms around her shoulders and whispered in her ear about wanting to spend a long night with a lovely lady.
Maybe she’d led him on. She certainly hadn’t stopped anything. The first time had been exhilarating, letting herself go and throwing caution to the wind. And when Vax had wanted to move on and she’d instead insisted on staying awhile, seeing the town, the human man she’d met had asked for another night with her. And another, and another. And she had never said no.
Vex wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there, sipping the drink, silent. “You don’t want to hear it,” she said quietly.
Pike and Keyleth stared at her for a long moment, and Pike said, “Okay, ummm, I’ll tell you about my worst time.” She paused, glancing at Vex, and continued, “There was this gnome girl I had a crush on when I was little, and, you know, Wilhand took me in after a while, but when I got older I met another girl who looked a lot like that first one…”
Vex tried to listen to the story, she really did. Pike’s face was lit up with emotion as she talked about the gnome girl who knew nothing about actually pleasing someone, but Vex drifted in and out, her mind hinged on memories she’d tried to bury ages ago.
She could remember the way he would tuck his face against her neck, breathing in her scent after they’d had sex. He would talk about how much he enjoyed the smell of her, so much cleaner than the human girls with poor breeding he would take to bed. It had been delightful the first few times, to think even after living in the woods that she was so appealing, that a bath at the inn was all she needed to look beautiful again.
He’d told her that the elf boys didn’t appreciate her enough. And it was true, so she’d believed it.
As Pike’s story ended and she finished off with a laugh and another swallow of her drink, her cheeks flushing red with her growing inebriation, Vex pushed her own cup aside and stood from the table. “I think I’m going to go home,” she said, picking up her coin purse and digging around until she found enough gold to cover their meal and a handsome tip, leaving it next to her half-empty drink.
“Already?” Keyleth asked. She’d forgotten her own embarrassment after Pike’s story and was happily drinking a second beer. “We’ve only been here for, like, an hour.”
“I know, and I love you both, and we’ll need another evening like this soon, but I’m– I’m tired.” She brushed some of her hair out of her eyes and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry for ducking out so fast.”
“Vex,” Pike said gently, reaching to grab her hand and squeeze. “If this is because we asked about your sex life, then–”
“Darling,” Vex cut in with a laugh, returning Pike’s thoughtful squeeze. “You know I’m not shy about sex in the least. My worst time wasn’t worth explaining. Don’t worry.” She swallowed and pulled her hand away, walking around their table. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” she called over her shoulder, hurrying out of the bar before either of them could stop her.
The sun had just been setting when they’d gone out, and now it was dark, a thick blanket of quiet covering Whitestone’s streets. There were lights from the buildings and if Vex listened she would have been able to hear muffled conversations inside, people out drinking or at home with their families, but she walked too fast to catch anything.
She stepped with a quick clack clack of her boots on the paved cobblestone, both arms wrapped around herself, but she couldn’t walk fast enough to forget the way his hands had felt on her, the way he’d gripped her wrists and begged when she tried to leave. He’d spoken often of how special she was, of how no other woman made him feel the way he did, and would she stay in town just one more week, promise? And despite Vax’s complaints and Trinket’s depression at her constant absence, she’d agreed, and let those hands wander to places that made Vex want to curl up and cry out with how much she did not want them there.
But she’d never said no.
And so she had no right to whine about a few bad memories and the occasional nightmares that creeped into her mind when there was nothing else to fill it. She wasn’t traumatized, she was more open about sex than anyone else in Vox Machina, and even thinking of the word trauma filled her with shame and horror. She wasn’t helpless, had never been helpless. If she’d wanted to she could have shot an arrow through the man’s neck and been done with him for good.
Vex tried not to think about why she never had.
Even at her pace, walking all the way to the castle took a good hour, and she was sweating under her shirt by the time she arrived. She stopped in the front hall, breathing hard, hands shaking. She needed– she needed a drink, something without alcohol, something to calm her nerves. Her first instinct was coffee, but…
He’d always asked the innkeeper to bring them coffee afterward, hadn’t he?
She growled at herself and darted down one hall, toward the kitchens. She wasn’t going to do this, not now, not tonight, not ever and she was damned if she’d let it control her.
The kitchen doors burst open with the might of Vex’s intrusion, slamming against the stone, and Vex made it two steps inside before she stopped.
Cassandra was there, standing over a silver tray laid out with a teapot and cookies. She startled and had a hand halfway to her hip, where a shortsword hung on her belt, until she noticed who it was. “Vex?” Her stance didn’t relax and she gripped the hilt of her sword. “Is something wrong? Did someone attack you?”
“What? No, I… oh.” Vex forced herself to stand up straight, pulling at her clothes to smooth any ruffles. “I suppose it must seem that way with me barging in. I was just– well– it’s a long story,” she said with a sigh.
Cassandra frowned and released her sword. “Does it concern your safety or the safety of anyone here?”
“No, it’s fine. There’s no danger, I promise. I was only being emotional.”
“Good, then.” She paused, and turned back to her tray, picking it up. “I was about to have some tea and retire for the evening.” She waited for Vex to respond, and when she didn’t, said, “Would you care to join me?”
Vex eyes widened. “You want me to?”
Cassandra’s even expression revealed nothing. “Yes, if you like.”
“I… okay.” Tea was as good as coffee. Better, possibly. Vex pushed away the quiet thought that tea had never been part of his rituals, because that was absolutely not a reason to favor one drink over another. “Let’s go,” she said weakly, turning and opening up the kitchen doors in a much more civil manner.
Cassandra walked past her with an air of grace nigh impossible to anyone else carrying a tray full of food, and Vex followed.
“I’m surprised you got that for yourself,” Vex said, hurrying a few steps to walk beside her. “I would think you’d have someone fetch it.”
“It’s convenient when I’m busy,” Cassandra said without looking at her. “But I’ve finished my work and I wanted to stretch a bit. Besides, the cooks never make the tea precisely the way I prefer.”
They walked until they reached Cassandra’s study and Vex opened the door for her. She suspected that Cassandra had wanted to retire to her room, and when she shut the door behind her she said, “Thank you again. I was feeling rather frazzled, as I’m sure you could guess. I think some tea and some quiet is what I need.”
“Of course.” Cassandra set the tray on a table beside her desk, moving her chair closer to it and preparing a cup for herself. Vex found another chair nearby and dragged it over to sit across from Cassandra.
The tea was a warm brown, and the tray had containers for milk and sugar. Vex dumped more sugar than she probably needed into hers and stirred it thoughtfully, her eyes drifting between Cassandra and examining the room. She’d been in Cassandra’s study a few times but Cassandra didn’t like anyone to linger, and it was easier to relax while she looked around.
For a few minutes they were silent, drinking their tea, not looking directly at one another. Cassandra took a cookie, breaking it into fours and dipping each piece individually in her tea before eating it.
“Aren’t you worried about crumbs in your tea?”
Cassandra raised an eyebrow. “I don’t mind it.”
“Oh, all right.”
Again they were silent. Vex looked down into her cup, tilting it to watch the liquid swirl.
“I’m not going to ask.”
Cassandra’s words pulled Vex from her thoughts and she looked up, meeting her gaze. “Pardon?”
“I said, I won’t ask.” Cassandra ate another piece of cookie, chewing slowly and chasing it down with tea. “As long as whatever upset you isn’t an immediate danger to the city or to Percival, it’s not my business. So you can stop glancing at me and looking like a kicked puppy.”
Vex tensed. “I didn’t realize I looked that way.”
“If you wish to talk, feel free. I can’t guarantee any advice or help, and I won’t pry.”
“It’s fine, I… I don’t want to talk about it.” She licked her lips. “Is that why you invited me? Because of how upset I looked? If it was pity, then–”
“Nonsense.” Cassandra waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t have time to throw pity around. As you said, you looked in need of some tea. And quiet.”
There was something in Cassandra’s eyes, in the way she looked at Vex. She was right, it wasn’t pity. It looked more like… understanding. Sympathy? No, not even that. Cassandra had never been the sympathetic type. But it was more than someone offering tea to a frazzled friend, especially since Vex didn’t consider herself and Cassandra friends so much as colleagues.
“In that case,” Vex said, reaching for one of the cookies, “I appreciate it. I don’t care to be pitied.”
“You’re too strong for that, besides.”
Vex paused with the cookie halfway to her lips. “I didn’t know you thought that.”
Cassandra only took another sip of her tea.
Vex leaned back in her chair and took another look at the room. Like everywhere else, the walls were made of stone, a couple bookshelves no doubt filled with endless notes on Whitestone on one wall, the other wall taken up by an empty fireplace. There was one large window facing outside, where she could see the edges of the city below. The study was large, and open, and if Vex wanted to she could stand up and leave and never come back, and Cassandra wouldn’t care.
The tea was sweeter than coffee, almost painfully so, but when Vex drank it she let the taste wash over her and burn away the memories, burn away his touch and taste and smell and every single word he’d woven around her to hold her down.
She’d never said no. But in the end, she’d left, and that was what mattered.
#critfic#critical role#vex'ahlia#abuse mention cw#emotional manipulation#trauma#character exploration#writing#fanfiction
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