Crossroads
A/N: Lovely anon, what a lovely suggestion. In this one, Bill has a wobble, and gets a small and much needed dose of sweetness.
This one touches on a subject close to my heart (and the hearts of many of us) — how do you keep loving something after you’ve been disillusioned by a person with whom you associate that very same thing?
The letter arrived over breakfast on Bill’s penultimate day at school. At first, it appeared like any other; delivered by a very normal looking owl, contained in a nondescript parchment envelope. On the envelope was written the single half-sentence: For the attention of (and only of) Mr William Weasley, Esquire. There was no address, but that was not so strange. An owl could find someone without an address, if it was well-trained enough.
It was only when Bill went to open the letter that he noticed anything unusual.
As he tilted the envelope to turn it over, the black ink seemed to fade so that there appeared to be nothing written on it at all. He tilted it back, and the writing reappeared. He moved the letter away from his face, and the ink faded away again. The writing could only be read if he held it directly in front of him, at just the right distance and at just the right angle.
That was bizarre.
Frowning, Bill turned the envelope over. It was sealed with black wax that bore no crest or coat of arms, only a circle with twelve partitions, like a clock. Beneath the seal, four more words were written in the same mirage-like ink: Confidential. Open in private.
There was no place in Hogwarts that was less private than the Great Hall. Bill pocketed the letter and hastily finished up his breakfast, before making his way back up to his dormitory in Gryffindor Tower. With the curtains drawn around the four-poster bed that would only be his for one more night, he opened the envelope and unfolded the parchment within. His eyes widened with surprise as he read its contents.
Dear Mr Weasley,
There are many things that wizards still do not know about magic, about its nuances and limitations. So much about our world and our kind is still incommunicable, unspeakable, shrouded in mystery. Only the brightest and most brilliant minds may seek to solve the unsolvable and comprehend the incomprehensible.
We have recently received intelligence that you are perhaps of such mind. In light of your recently proven academic excellence, it is my pleasure to offer you a position as an Unspeakable.
Should you choose to accept, please respond by owl. Your response should bear the single word ‘Crossroads’, and should be addressed to Level Nine, Ministry of Magic Headquarters, Whitehall. Do not include your name in your response, and do not tell anyone of your acceptance. We shall send further instructions upon receipt. Unfortunately, due to the highly secretive nature of our work, we are unable to answer any requests for further information about the position you have been offered. Information will only be given upon employment.
Yours sincerely,
A Colleague, The Department of Mysteries.
Bill blinked as he reached the end of the letter. He could barely believe it. The Department of Mysteries wanted him?
Him? An Unspeakable?
Just a few weeks ago, Bill would have dismissed the idea out of hand. He had never thought about becoming an Unspeakable before, not even once. There was only one thing he had ever wanted to be, and that was a Curse-Breaker. That was what he had worked for, that was what he dreamed of, and that was what he was going to be. He already had an offer of a job from Gringotts, one he had accepted with pride.
But, now…
He hadn’t told anyone yet — not even Charlie or Penny — but he had been reconsidering his choice of career for the last few weeks, ever since what had happened inside the Buried Vault. Ever since Professor Rakepick had shown her true colours, had tortured Merula and threatened Artemis, before abandoning them inside the Vault.
Bill hadn’t seen it coming. That was the worst thing about it. They had all been shaken by her cruelty, but for him, it had felt like a deeper, more personal betrayal. He had trusted her entirely, had been blinded by his admiration of her and her flattery of him. He had genuinely thought that she had seen potential in him. He had thought that was why she had helped him to get the job at Gringotts, because she had believed that he had what it took to fulfill his dreams. But that wasn’t the case. She had only been using him to get closer to the Vaults, to whatever it was inside. She had never believed that he really could make it as a Curse-Breaker.
Now, Bill wasn’t sure that he even wanted to make it as a Curse-Breaker anymore.
Rakepick had been the one who had got him the job offer from Gringotts. If he took it, he would owe his whole career, his whole life, to her. He would always be in her debt, and every Galleon that he earned would feel like dirty money, forever. Then again, he had worked so hard to get the grades he needed for a career in Curse-Breaking that rejecting the offer from Gringotts felt like an awful waste.
If Bill had ever believed in fate, or the idea that the universe had a plan, he might have thought that the letter in his hand was a sort of sign, that it was his way of knowing that he should give up on Curse-Breaking. The Department of Mysteries wanted him on account of his ‘academic excellence’. He could accept that offer, and his hard work would not have been in vain. It was tempting. His eyes flicked to the top of the letter in order to read it again, but as they did, the ink disappeared from the parchment until only one word remained.
Crossroads.
All it would take was for him to fold the parchment up and post it back to the Ministry of Magic. If he did that, he would be free from his debt to Rakepick, free to do… well, whatever it was that Unspeakables did. He would be untethered. He would be able to chase a new dream.
And yet, he hesitated.
In that moment of hesitation, he heard the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs and the dormitory door opening. He stuffed the letter back into his pocket, and not a moment too soon, for the curtains around his bed were pulled open.
“There you are!” his dormmate, Myron, exclaimed. He flumped back on his own bed and picked up his guitar, strumming it absent-mindedly as he spoke. “You know McGonagall was looking for you, right? She wants your badges.”
Professor McGonagall was kind, but stern. Bill did not want to disappoint her on his last day at Hogwarts. He went straight down to her classroom, where he found her detransfiguring a pile of cauldrons back into cats. She stopped when she saw him, and he side-stepped a cat as he made his way across the room towards her.
“I thought you may be too busy tomorrow to return these before the Leaving Ceremony,” she said, as he placed the two badges in her outstretched palm. The expression in her eyes bordered on affectionate. “Your parents will want to celebrate your many achievements, I’m sure. Head Boy, straight Os in your NEWTs, a job offer from Gringotts… They must be very proud. I certainly am.”
Bill tried not to react at the mention of Gringotts. He forced a smile and nodded his head, but McGonagall was clearly not convinced by his feigned nonchalance.
“For someone who has so much to be pleased about, you could look happier, Mr Weasley.”
“Sorry,” said Bill. “Just… I have a lot on my mind, that’s all.” McGonagall raised one eyebrow slightly, and he sighed. “I’m considering packing it in. Gringotts, I mean. I got a job offer from… from somewhere else this morning, and I think I might accept it. I am starting to think I might be better off with a different career path than Curse-Breaking.”
A few moments of silence passed after he made his confession, during which Professor McGonagall’s face was entirely passive. He had no idea what he had expected her to say when she finally spoke, but it certainly wasn’t, “Would you like a biscuit, Weasley?”
Bill blinked. “I’m sorry?”
“A biscuit,” the professor repeated. “Would you like one?”
“I, er… Yeah, sure. Yes, please.”
McGonagall nodded her head curtly, before walking across to her desk. In one swift movement, she sat in her seat and conjured both a tartan biscuit tin and a second chair, which she looked at pointedly. Bill took a seat. Somewhat apprehensively, he reached forward and helped himself to one of the biscuits from the tin.
“Cheers, Professor,” he said, still baffled by what was going on. Professor McGonagall’s eyes stayed on him as he took his first bite of the biscuit.
“Mr Weasley,” she said, “I have been your Head of House for seven full years. I don’t remember a time in which you did not wish to become a Curse-Breaker. Even before you chose your OWL subjects, you appeared to know what you wished to do with your life. I cannot help but wonder what exactly has prompted this change of heart.”
The look she gave him was meaningful, and Bill could only assume what its meaning was. She knew precisely what had prompted this change — after all, she had been the one he had come to in the immediate aftermath of Rakepick’s betrayal — but she wanted him to be the one to say it. He swallowed.
“Well, you know what happened in the Buried Vault, Professor. I’m not certain that I want to be Curse-Breaker after that.”
“Why not?”
“Because,” said Bill, “I don’t want to turn out like Rakepick.”
He had thought that his teacher might offer him some sort of sympathy, but McGonagall only tutted.
“Now, don’t be ridiculous. I took over this job from Professor Dumbledore. I haven’t transfigured myself into him yet, have I?”
“No, Professor.”
“Well, then.” It seemed that Professor McGonagall considered that to be the case closed. But, then, she continued, “I understand that Patricia Rakepick was somewhat of a hero of yours.”
”I wouldn’t say that.” Bill might have said that, once upon a time. “I mean, I used to really admire her work. I read about one of her expeditions once, before she came here. It wasn’t why I wanted to go into Curse-Breaking, I already did before that, but it definitely solidified that idea.
“So, yes, I was really excited when she came here. And then, when she was here, she was a sort of mentor to me. She was a mentor to me. She did a lot for me. And I...” He frowned. “I did want to be… maybe not like her, but the sort of person that could be her equal one day.”
Bill couldn’t think of anything worse than being Rakepick’s equal now. He didn’t want to be anything like her. He hated that he ever had.
Professor McGonagall sighed. “I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, Mr Weasley, but Patricia Rakepick will not be the last person in your life to let you down. This is what happens. We admire people, we think we know them, and then they disappoint us by not being the person we thought they were.” She pursed her lips. “So, the next time your relationship with someone turns sour, are you going to let that spoil everything that you associate with that person?”
“That’s not…”
“You may be leaving Hogwarts tomorrow, Weasley, but today I am still your teacher. Do not interrupt me while I’m giving a lesson.” McGonagall fixed Bill with a stern glare that made him fall instantly silent. “You need to learn how to protect the things that really matter to you. Your beliefs, your ideals, your dreams. No one person should have the power to take those things away from you. Not even, dare I say, Patricia Rakepick.”
“I’m not sure I understand, Professor.”
“Take Rakepick out of the equation for a moment. If you had never heard of nor met Patricia Rakepick, would you still have wanted to be a Curse-Breaker?”
Bill nodded. “Yes.”
“Precisely. This was something that you wanted for yourself. Are you really going to let her take that away from you?” asked the professor. “Are you really going to allow her such a hold over you? Because if so, you will never be able to be her equal, let alone be better than her.”
“I never said that I could be better than her.”
“But, could you?”
Professor McGonagall’s question gave Bill pause. He took a breath before answering it.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“I think that you could.” McGonagall smiled a thin-lipped smile. “And if the Department of Mysteries are offering you a position with them, then it would appear that they think so as well.”
How could she have known about the Department of Mysteries? Bill looked across the desk at her quizzically.
“I was once had a bright and brilliant young mind, too.” She reached across and closed the biscuit tin, then placed it into one of the drawers of her desk. “Is that all, Mr Weasley?”
”I suppose so. Thanks, Professor. For… Well, everything, really.” Bill stood up and made to leave the classroom. Before he reached the door, another question entered his mind. He turned back and grinned at his teacher. “Professor, have those biscuits always been in your desk?”
McGonagall inclined her head. “They have.”
“How come you’ve never offered me one before? That definitely sounds like the sort of thing that should be a Head Boy privilege.”
He had never heard Professor McGonagall laugh before. It sounded strange to him, but not unpleasant.
“You’ve always been too self-reliant to require a biscuit,” she told him. “That is why you made such an excellent Head Boy.”
in spite of everything, Bill laughed too. McGonagall was right, he had always been self-reliant. He had known what he wanted, and had achieved his goals. They were his, not anyone else’s. They most definitely weren’t Rakepick’s. He was not going to let her take them from him, not now, not ever.
He returned to Gryffindor tower for his last night in the castle that had been his second home for seven years, and threw the letter from the Department of Mysteries into the fireplace.
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