one of my favorite things about ofmd really is the fact that stede finding himself suddenly surrounded by people who (reluctantly) like having him around is just as important as the fact that he falls in love for the first time. like, he grew up being essentially tortured by other kids and then entered a loveless marriage with a woman who could never understand him—and because no one ever had, he wasn’t willing to even try to help her.

enter the revenge and the crew and edward fucking teach, and suddenly we have this man who’s never known the feeling of being valued and he’s in this position of being loved and cared for. no one’s ever wanted him around or listened to what he has to say and suddenly, there’s this beautiful and important man who thinks he’s interesting and funny and cool, and there’s this crew of misfits who have reluctantly agreed that they do like their captain, and that’s more people on one ship who care for stede bonnet than in the rest of his life combined.

and the first time he actually realizes that:

sometimes overwhelmed with edward “i haven’t tried death before” teach knowing that no one will harm a hair on stede’s head if he places himself in the way, knowing that no one will pull the trigger if they might hit him, and knowing that staying alive is the way to save stede — edward “i’m so bored, just kill me now” teach placing himself between a firing squad and the man he loves with no second thought, yet not allowing his motivation to be boredom.

his motivation for the first time in months, maybe years, is that he’s found someone who makes him want to be alive.

i cannot believe that one month from today, on 26 october, we will be watching the finale of our flag means death season two. like, for real? all this time waiting and now we’re only a month away from the finale?

the passage of time is so incredibly fake i can’t even fully comprehend it.

“Not moving on is worse.”

In the context of season two, I struggle to reconcile the intersection of sincerity and comedy, and the idea of what pains and traumas we are meant to understand at the deeper level of what trauma is with those that serve only the purpose of comedic timing. This isn’t limited to one character, but rather to the season as a whole.

Season one highlighted childhood trauma and the ability to move on from that, becoming the best adult version of oneself possible. We see this evident in Ed, Stede, and Jim specifically as we are allowed to explore their pasts and their traumas — and we can presume that no one on the crew of the Revenge is without trauma (Fang’s dog, anyone?) of some kind that they carry with them. Stede handles his traumas and how to process them through running away and avoiding the issue until he no longer can. Ed does something similar, though he is able to craft a facade to use as a shield and a weapon, even if he never delivers a killing blow himself. Jim dedicates their life to revenge.

We witness all of these characters allow the defining characteristic of love to be allowing themselves to be saved and valued for who they are — not for what they can offer.

When season two opens, we as an audience see Ed at, arguably, his worst (I say arguably because we didn’t see Blackbeard in his prime, so… do with that what you will, I suppose). We see how this affects beloved and treasured characters, as well as new characters that we have yet to fall in love with. We see Fang fall apart not once but twice within the first two episodes alone. In episode two, we see Ed — a much beloved and adored character who we know intimately — lash out when confronted for his behavior. He lashes out at his crew and physically mutilates his closest confidant for daring to question him. “But that’s piracy!” And you’re right! But don’t we watch the first episode of season one highlight how much Stede Bonnet wants to change piracy? Isn’t this show supposed to be about found family, and getting better, and finding healing? In which case, we’re watching Ed behave abusively in the wake of his mental struggles as he once again attempts to hide behind the same facade that has protected him in the past. Ed suffers this breakdown in response to not one but two perceived rejections from the two people he would claim to be the most important in his life, and in a classic mental illness fashion, he barricades himself off and settles into the persona that is everything he doesn’t want to be.

His crew fears him. They’ve been kidnapped and essentially held hostage under the man they believe to have murdered their crew — their friends — and are watching him continue to devolve. Enter Izzy Hands and Jim Jimenez. Izzy is well aware of his hand in Ed’s state. “Well, he instigated it!” He did. He wanted back a version of Blackbeard who he saw as safe territory: a necessary evil for the continued survival and safety of the crew, ship, and Ed and Izzy themselves. And then he watched Edward “Only Ever Killed One Person Personally” Teach fulfill the legend he’s always been known as, and watched him become someone who couldn’t care less about life or death or anything in between. Ed surpassed and buried the version of Blackbeard that Izzy wanted to return, and he was force-fed the consequences of this with an unavoidable cruelty. “Well, he deserved what he got! Violence was always on the table, because it’s piracy!” But once again, we’re operating under the assumption that the big themes of this show are healing from trauma and being worthy of being loved even if we’ve done bad things. 

While we’re on that topic, though, let’s explore that. Ed’s childhood trauma comes from his abusive father. He carries the weight of that abuse with him well into adulthood, as well as the weight of what he had to do to survive it. What he had to do to save his mother. This season sees him abusing those around him. Despite this, despite his erratic behavior and the mistreatment of his crew, he is still loved (by crew and fandom both, if I may add). He is still loved by Stede, despite the trail of blood he leaves in his wake. Stede is still longing to find him, despite knowing what he’s done and what he’s now capable of, and this continues to reiterate that idea of you deserve to be loved even when you’ve done wrong.

And then, Stede finds him.

We as an audience witness Ed make the choice to stay alive. We watch the thought process, we see that he chooses to fight for that love that comes alongside being saved. Being wanted. Being seen for who you are and loved because of it. And up to here, I’m on board. I’m excited to see what’s next and how Ed will reconcile for what he’s done and the harm he’s caused at the hands of his mental illness — because the truth is, we harm people when we aren’t adequately being responsible for our mental illness. This is a real-world thing. We lash out when we’re hurt, or when we’re rejected, or when we’re struggling. When we’re suffering, we often can’t see past ourselves to see whether or not we’re also causing others to suffer. This does not make us bad people — and it didn’t make Ed one. And then the “apology” came and went. The only member of the crew Ed really sits and ever has a drawn out conversation with about anything is Fang, and even this is somewhat shallow. Fang absolves him and moves on. We don’t get to see whether or not Ed ponders this conversation long-term or whether or not he battles with himself over how to move on. 

We’re left with a traumatized crew who semi-accepted a half-hearted apology and a beloved character who hasn’t actually been held accountable at all. “But he apologized and wore the bell and fixed that door latch!” Yes, and? He physically mutilated his first mate, instructed him to be killed, traumatized an entire crew — and this all takes a backseat to his relationship with Stede. And what a stunning scene between the two of them in the moonlight, where Ed finds it in him to ask to take things slow. Where he recognizes his needs and vocalizes them. I left this episode feeling so hopeful, because half-baked apology aside, Ed is actively learning to vocalize his thoughts and ask for what he needs when he recognizes in himself that something is going to be harmful to him. We had a kiss, we had Ed asking for help when he needed it, we had a proposal, we had “not moving on is worse,” and even knowing only three episodes remained, I left feeling like we had been so perfectly set up to see how things were only going to keep improving. 

In the first episodes of the season, we see murderous raids and mutilated first mates and two suicide attempts (though I suppose one was more of a mass murder-suicide attempt?) and these are all thrown together. In episode six, Stede deescalates a raid from a bloodbath of his own crew and sends another crew on their way with the lessons and values that he has been pursuing since the first episode of the first season. He then, in a parallel to the French ship of season one, causes a man’s death. This is highlighted as a turning point, something that can’t be ever moved on from. (“There’s no coming back from that.”) But what about the other traumatic events of the season that are treated as jokes? Izzy’s drinking, day in and day out, bottle after bottle after bottle — coping with the reality of his life and the way it’s been altered beyond recognition. The mop he used as a makeshift leg snapping, forcing him to pull himself away from the crew with his own hands. Lucius’s mention of being sexually assaulted and Stede’s look of disgust, the way he literally runs away from the conversation. Lucius never gets to air out his traumas, not really, not with someone who listens and tells him he’s safe and allows him to talk things through. Even Pete gets ill instead of being able to offer support.

I struggle to reconcile what is and isn’t comedy in this season, or what violence is meant to be taken for what it is. The Ed and Izzy breakdowns in episodes one and two sat far too close to my chest for me to look past them into comedy — and the suicidality of both men was glossed over and moved on from so quickly, never explored. Did Izzy’s “I wanna go” in the final episode mean he never moved on? That some part of him was still lying in that room with a gun to his head? You don’t become non-suicidal in a matter of days — is there still something lingering in the back of Ed’s mind? There was never a conversation about it, and there was never anything between the two of them that could allow me comfort in knowing that they had reached some sort of understanding. This season pulled domestic abuse, alcohol abuse, and suicidal tendencies straight from my own traumas and never held anyone accountable for any of them. There was no healing. There was no real talking it through. “Well, it’s not a rom-com, so—” Except it continues to be presented as one. Shortcomings of storylines of characters that seem to have been cast aside or mischaracterized this season aside, I cannot for the life of me reconcile how a show about kindness and moving on and being loved amidst all of your flaws could have a season so wrought with traumas and yet never discuss them. Never explore them in a way that allows me to move on. I love this show and there were so many good things about this season; I love these characters, and yet I feel so disconnected from it for the first time in over a year. Not moving on is worse, sure, but moving on without accountability leaves wounds unable to heal. How do you move on from that?

not to be incredibly on the nose but i have been thinking about how our flag means death finds these two men who are both convinced they are unlovable—though in different ways—and follows them as they fall irrevocably in love with one another. it’s a silly little romcom but is also absolutely and incredibly devastating because it makes this dedicated effort to highlighting all the things we see as reasons not to be loved—reputation, deviance from the norm, inability to fit in, only good for serving a specific purpose, etc—and turning them into reasons that someone is love unequivocally.

our flag means death sees these two men who are both convinced there is nothing good left in the world, and forces them to find something good in one another. we see these two roughly middle aged men discovering that there is still beauty left to life. i don’t know about you, but i needed that.

edward teach, the prettiest wedding crasher i’ve ever seen

ten hours until we get him back. ten hours. twenty four hours from now, we will have new context for this silly little show and i personally am unsure how to handle that!

thinking about how edward teach, infamous legendary dread pirate blackbeard, had to be told to his face by a snarky little gay man that he needed to get his head out of his ass and realize that another snarky little gay man was essentially infatuated with him

because infamous legendary icon dread pirate blackbeard edward teach had never even remotely considered that bumbling bitchy snarky gentleman pirate stede bonnet could enjoy his company just for what it was, just for that, just for his company and who he was as a person—not just that, of course, but he could hardly believe anyone, let alone gentleman pirate stede bonnet, would ever want to spend time with edward teach

thinking about edward teach being so utterly convinced no one could ever want him around unless he was serving them a purpose that he had to be smacked upside the head and told blatantly “he really liked you, you know” because no, he did not know!

something i find myself dwelling on frequently is this moment where we see ed put forth this air of bravado and confidence and then we see that fall away a mere moment later as he deflates. he’s so incredibly exhausted, so tired of holding himself up to these impossible standards everyone holds him to, so tired of carrying the burden of his legend. he doesn’t want to be legendary dread pirate blackbeard and i’m not sure he realizes the extent of that until he meets stede and introduces himself as ed, and has a very normal introduction. he gets a taste of normalcy, of being talked to for the sake of talking instead of as a means to an end. he just wants a break, wants to be ed, wants to live his life the way he wants to. i can’t imagine the burden of setting aside his identity, only to have to pick it back up and rest it back on his shoulders once more.

sweet edward teach, how i have missed you.

one of my biggest hot takes that i think about a lot is that while a truly abysmal husband, stede bonnet was not a bad father. awkward and a bit oblivious, sure, but every time i watch the show and i see the scene of him playing pirates with the kids and the sheer joy on both louis’s and alma’s faces truly lights me up from the inside like a candle burning in my chest. he has so much fun playing pirates with his children and they have so much fun playing pirates with their dad.

was he the best dad ever? definitely not. but was he a bad father? i really, decidedly don’t think so.

My Completed Big Bang Challenge 2023 —

Title: i looked for happiness, i found you

Author: burberrylou

Artist: Nita

Beta Reader: gentlepanpirate

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Israel Hands, "Calico" Jack Rackham

Relationship(s): Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet

Rating: Explicit

Additional Tags: Lesbians :), Our Flag Means Death Big Bang 2023, burberrylou's lesbian agenda, 5+1 Things, The Inevitability of Stede Bonnet Falling for Edward Teach, OFMD Big Bang 23, Meet-Cute, First Time, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Art Museums, art gallery dates, Falling In Love, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Loves Stede Bonnet, Stede Bonnet Loves Blackbeard | Edward Teach, POV Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Poetry, Love Poems, here and there, Prose and Poetry, and porn, but who's counting, Semi-Public Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love at First Sight, Basically, Useless Lesbians, Lesbian Sex, Lesbians, POV Lesbian Character, Background Israel Hands/"Calico" Jack Rackham, Recovering Alcoholic Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Therapy, Feel-good, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone are Lesbians, Happy Ending, happy beginning and middle, it's a happy fic man idk, Author is Open to Hearing about Dead Batteries, even though the porn is arguably my tamest yet

Warnings: None

Summary: Recovering alcoholic Ed Teach has always had a knack for poetry—but everything she writes is sad. Her therapist challenges her to write only happy things for six months, and to bring a poem to her session at the end of each month. When she leaves the office that day and heads to her favorite art gallery for some much needed inspiration and some TLC, she meets Stede Bonnet, recently retired workaholic looking for a new purpose. She’s immediately drawn in. This story is broken into six sections, with each section titled for the “happy thing” that Ed writes about each month.

Over the course of these six months, there are six specific days spent with Stede that explore their blossoming relationship—beginning with the day they meet.

Word Count: 20,604

Art Masterpost

Ao3 Story Link

edward teach, meet lavender sky, meet purple is the color of falling in love

“under the gaze of poets,” 12.1k words.

this fic is one of—if not THE—best of my written works. i poured my heart into this ed teach character study-turned relationship exploration. every word of this story came from somewhere deep in my chest and directly from my heart. my love of poetry and my love of short fiction came together to give me this story. now, it’s yours.

an introduction post, if you will

i’m pey, i’m 22, and it’s a delight to be here. feel free to connect with me elsewhere if you haven’t already, and feel free to pop in and chat whenever :)

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this account is generally dedicated to our flag means death, with the occasional departure for other various interests. i do post 18+ content, please be mindful.