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ourloveisforthelovely · 3 years

Text

Lost

Harry Potter AU

Request Fic

Summary: Regulus did everything he could to ruin his friendship with you. He turned cold, insensitive, and cruel. Now the two of you are paired up for a potions project. Old feelings and wounds are bound to open again. Regulus has to learn to accept that "mudbloods" aren't bad and loving one isn't wrong. Will he be willing to let go of his family's ideals or lose you forever?

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M- angst

Song at the beginning: The Suffering by Song by Coheed and Cambria

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Is there word or right to say Even in this old-fashioned way? Go make your move girl. I'm not coming home. Would things have changed if I could've stayed? Would you have loved me either way? Dressed to the blues Day to day with my collar up. Decision sits so make it quick A breath inhaled from an air so sick I cursed the day that I'd learned Of the web you span You had your hold till bleeding If it was up to me I would've figured you out Way before the year clocked out Oh, I hope you're waiting I hope you're waiting

People change and hurt people hurt other people in return…

That sentence summed up so many things in your life at the moment. Your eyes turned to the Slytherin table where Regulus Black sat with his friends. The boy that you had a crush on since 1st year changed and not in a good way. He had gone from being somewhat kind to downright vicious. After he started making closer friends with Evan Rosier, a few years before Regulus had turned further into his “pure blood nature.” The last thing that he wanted was a “mudblood” like you for a friend. Hearing those words leave his mouth still hurt you to this day and that had been over two years ago. Why you let it both you, you weren’t sure. You were just Lily Evan’s mudblood little sister...nothing impressive (his words, not yours).

You frowned, scowling at Evan Rosier. He sat telling some animated story that had Regulus, Snape, and Barty Crouch Jr laughing. Evan was a topic of rage for you. If Evan hadn’t stuck his nose in your friendship with Regulus then there was a possibility that the two of you would have remained friends to this day.

Screw Evan and everything that he stands for!

It was Snape that looked in your direction. He gave you a polite smile before looking back to his friends. He was the one boy at that table that was kind to you. Granted it had to do with his insane crush on your sister but he was still nice all the same. Now that Lily wouldn’t talk to him after him calling her a mudblood, he used you to get information on Lily. “How is Lily?” “Is she doing okay? What about you?” (Those were Snape’s big questions (when his Slytherin buddies weren’t around).

That whole little table would shit a monkey if they knew that Regulus and I were sleeping together....then.

You thought with a cold glare. Sex was all that there was to it. Regulus liked to play rough and you were glad to go along with it. You were, after all in Regulus’ mind, the little Hufflepuff who he could easily manipulate into whatever he wanted. At first, it was just seeing what all of the hype was about. Was sex really as good as everyone went on about? In short, yes. It was exactly what everyone said and then some. Lovemaking turned into Regulus developing some major kinks.

You longed for the day when Regulus was a sweet quiet boy who enjoyed your company. Now he was something else and you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“My favorite hufflebuddy!”

Your thoughts were interrupted when Sirius plopped down beside you and pulled you into an overdramatic hug. Everything that Sirius did was overdramatic but you didn’t mind. He was getting you out of your head.

“And my favorite gigantic lapdog.”

You said with a smile earring a bigger grin from Sirius as James plopped down on your other side.

“Mini-red, you are looking a little gloomy this fine morning.”

You were used to Sirius and James calling you “mini-red.” It didn’t matter how many times that you told them that neither Lily nor yourself enjoyed being called big and mini-red it never stopped. You learned to accept it as some form of unusual endearment and roll with it.

“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind with this potions class. Slughorn is going crazy.”

James looked thoughtful as he reached across the table for a cup of juice.

“Why do you think that I bailed out of positions as soon as I could? Lils seems to love him. From what I have heard he adores both Lily and yourself.”

You nodded.

“He does. He also adores Regulus.”

Sirius frowned

“Like my brother, Regulus?”

“How many others are there?”

You questioned. Sirius chuckled before his expression darkened.

“Watch out for him, Y/n. Just go with me on it.”

You couldn’t help but notice the expression on Sirius’ face went from jovial ready to prank someone to dark and depressed.

“What’s going on with him?”

You asked, cautiously. Sirius didn’t respond but instead, James did.

“Sirius believes that Regulus is now a death eater.”

“Believes? I know. I mean look at him! He looks like the perfect death eater. Plus all of his little friends are so why wouldn’t he join the crowd?”

James, Sirius, and yourself turned to look at Regulus who was staring at you three. You were afraid to look at him. The last thing that you wanted to do was meet his dark gaze. Since Regulus started changing you were scared of him. If he was a death eater, you would be someone on his list. Why would he want to be kind to a filthy mudblood?

(Meanwhile)

Regulus’ attention had turned to you when Sirius started hugging you like some kind of stuffed animal. Why that he cared so much he wasn't sure. Regulus didn’t even want to admit to himself that he cared for you. You were everything that his family trained him to despise. Yet here he was having some kind of weird fluttering feelings in his stomach when you were near. He hated you yet he wanted you...it made no sense.

“Why does she have to be so fucking beautiful?”

Regulus thought with a glare. He wanted nothing more than to walk across the great hall and shove you against the wall.

He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was jealous of Sirius’ friendship with you. Regulus was jealous of all the Marauders for their friendship with you. You were their little pet Hufflepuff when you were his first! He was the one that made love to you the first time. You were his lover and now Sirius seemed to be moving in on what was his.

“It’s your own fault that she got scared of you.”

Regulus’ mind supplied. He had taken extra steps to scare you away. Whether it be his unkind words or dark distant stares, you finally edged away. Regulus also didn’t want to admit that it was because he called you a stupid mudblood in front of all of his friends.

“Don’t think on it, Regulus.”

Regulus’ thoughts were interrupted by Snape’s voice. He looked up quickly.

“What are you talking about?”

He questioned. Snape motioned to you.

“Y/n Evans. You don’t need a companion Hufflepuff. I know that she was something to you a few years ago…”

“I was a stupid child. I don’t have any feelings for the mudblood girl. The same could be said about you and Y/n’s sister.”

Snape’s mouth formed a hard line. Regulus knew all about Snape and Lily’s friendship falling apart. He saw it happen.

“I’m not talking about myself. I am talking about you. We have enough duties to the dark lord to perform. If you were to be swayed by the girl, you would both be killed.”

Regulus scowled as he noticed your eyes flicker in his direction before quickly looking away. You were scared of him. Regulus wanted to be thrilled but at the same time, it was gut-wrenching. What Snape nor anyone else seemed to know was after Regulus ruined your friendship; he wrote you letters every day for three months. He sent letters and little gifts that would appeal to your quirky personality in hopes that he could win you back. You ignored everything.

He assumed that it was all for the best but it made the “gentle” side of Regulus sob in fury. What you didn’t know was you were the first person in his life that showed him any form of love. Seeing you shove his letter in the rubbish bin or deep into your bag with little to no expression on your face hurt him horribly!

Regulus swallowed back the rage and made a mental note that he needed to stop being so wishy-washy and focus on everything being for the best. There was no way that Regulus as a death eater could have a muggle-born girlfriend. It would be the biggest crock of shit known to wizardkind!

It's for the best…

Half an hour later you walked into Potions with a book in front of your face. You had been gleefully reading some romance book that Marlene McKinnon recommended to you. This was the closest that you would seemingly get to a healthy and not toxic relationship.

Sitting down you put the book up as Professor Slughorn stood up. He gave all of his favorite students his usual friendly good morning.

“Ms. Evans, you did a wonderful job on the last test. I can see that a wonderful brain is a quality with the Evans family.”

You smiled, happily as Professor Slughorn put your most recent test in front of you. Perfect score.

“I am assigning partners for our next project. I know that I typically let everyone pick partners but I think this time we will be doing something different. It's time to see how other people in the classroom work together.”

You internally muttered “uh oh” under your breath. For projects, you always teamed up with a Ravenclaw girl named Emilia Abbott. The two of you had made a common ground of helping each other keep perfect grades on Potions. Up until now, your plan worked like a charm.

“Okay, Mr. Black, I am putting you with Y/n Evans. The two of you have the highest grade in this class. I want to see what amazing things the two of you can do together.”

WHAT?!

You nearly shrieked the moment that Slughorn made that comment. Was it too late to drop potions? Would you really need this class after all? You could always take double potions next year, right?

After Slughorn paired everyone up, you didn't move to where Regulus was sitting. In fact, you didn’t even look in his direction. If he wanted to be your partner then he could get his ass up and come to you. Maybe he would magically forget who you were. Forget the fact that you spent a lot of time underneath him in the room of requirement with his hand on your ass.

What you didn’t see was Regulus staring at you with a frown on his face. He was waiting for you to get up. Instead, you didn’t move. You sat like a little statue staring dead ahead and trying to hide under your red hair.

Rolling his eyes, Regulus finally stood up. He walked across the room and sat down at the table that you were occupying. You didn’t look up nor meet his face.

“We do have to talk to each other, you know.”

Regulus commented. You finally met his eyes. The expression on your face was wary and your guard was up. No longer were you the happy girl that Regulus considered his Hufflepuff buddy. You weren’t the girl that went to him when someone was giving you a hard time or the girl who would try telling him a joke but giggle the whole time. Now you were silent.

“I suppose we do.”

You replied. Regulus had forgotten how much he missed your voice...your sweet gentle voice that was not loud but instead that remained even and soft even if you were mad.

“What potion do you want to do the report on?”

Regulus asked.

“I don’t know.”

You said, sounding almost lost. Since Regulus had sat down, you tried not to look at him. Your vision had gone from his green tie, to his hands, to his family ring, to his left arm. Was there a dark mark under this dress shirt? You couldn’t help but wonder if Sirius was right.

“Look, I am not going to fail this project because you are acting like a clueless tart.”

Your green eyes immediately met his. Regulus was waiting for you to cuss him out but he knew that it wouldn’t happen. He had barely heard you say the word “fuck.” It didn’t matter how much he tried to get you to step outside of your comfort zone, you wouldn’t say some words.

“What? Have something to say?”

He questioned. You quickly stood and gathered your books before storming out of the class without another word.

_______

@fairywriter-oracle

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#Regulus Black #Regulus Black x Reader #Sirius Black #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Lily Evans #James x Lily #timothee chalamet as regulus black #ben barnes as sirius black #andrew garfield as remus lupin #marauders era fic #regulus arcturus black #sirius orion black #the ancient and noble house of black #angst fic #death eater regulus #Harry Potter #Lost #Lost story

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starblazerm31 · 5 years

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The Courtiers as Shitty Retail Customers

This HC of mine seems to have gotten lost in the miasma somewhere. It was an ask I had gotten in response to the Main 6 as Retail Workers HC.

Now...as a note...everything I write here I have seen/happened to me personally. EVERYTHING. These are not your typical “Karen” stories.

Content warnings: Bodily fluids (blood, vomit, feces, etc.). Blatant rudeness. Flagrant stupidity. THEFT. Disturbing malevolent behavior. Unwanted butt pinching.

The Courtiers As Shitty Retail Customers (cont. of Main 6 as Retail Workers)

Valdemar

That customer who leaves unexplained blood spatters ALL OVER the single bathroom. They didn’t seem injured when they went in...but after they came out, everyone swears they committed a murder in there. Poor Julian got pegged to clean it up since he’s the one certified in hazardous spills and Muriel was off that day.

The customer who stares at everyone in a really uncomfortable way. Like...are they planning on slitting someone's throat right here in the store? Please don’t...the employees really don’t want to have to deal with the inquiry and paperwork.

The customer who will grab a worker and just...occupy them. Talking. Oddly. About anything and yet absolutely nothing. But still dropping the most uncomfortable TMI. One time, they grabbed Asra and just HAD to go into explicit detail about how they skin an animal after hunting. And how much they love Satan.

The customer who will ask a really dangerous request of the worker they swept up just hoping to see them get hurt. One time, he asked Julian to check on a specific tire which was WAAAAAY up on the top of the huge tire rack. Chuckled to himself when the tire fell on Julian and almost broke his arm while he was ten feet in the air on a ladder.

Gets really offended when an employee gets too close. "Come any closer and I'll stab you." Julian: "Do it. Five cameras can see you RIGHT. NOW.

*flashes a knife at Muriel* Muriel: "My dick is bigger."

Volta

That customer who grabs food off of the shelf, eats it, then deposits the empty (or half-empty) wrapper/bottle on another shelf in another part of the store.

She once stole some things from the store and got a big head about it. So she decided to come back the very next night to steal some more. All the employees were wise to her and watched her very closely. She stuffed a bunch of items up her shirt and made her way to the door. Nadia and Muriel were standing there waiting for her. She panicked and dropped everything out of her shirt in front of everyone (all the employees proceeded to point at her and laugh) and then walked out in a hurry.

When free snacks are offered to customers, she proceeds to stuff her face while spilling the snacks all over the store. She leaves a trail of chips/popcorn wherever she walks.

Somehow managed to knock down an entire shelf of gallon jugs of water. The water jugs all exploded on the floor. It looked like a Noah's Ark situation.

Walked by Muriel and proceeded to suddenly vomit onto the floor.

Will unfold and an entire shelf of shirts (about an hour's worth of work) just to be a bitch.

Tried to steal a "Try Me" stick of deodorant that literally hundreds of people had touched. Saw that she was being watched by Muriel, so she proceeded to look Muriel right in the eye and apply the deodorant. Muriel: "...I hope she gets sick."

*grabs Nadia* "I think that worker is spying on me!" *points to Julian* "He keeps following me around!" Julian is stocking shelves, not even paying attention to her. "And his body odor is really offensive!" *Nadia looks to her dubiously* "I'm sorry about that. Here, let me fix it." *walks over to Julian, explains the situation, and then gets on the radio* "Watch the customer in accessories, they are behaving strangely." Thirty minutes later, Volta is being escorted out by police for theft. Julian: "Body odor! *huffs* Enjoy the lockup BO you're gonna have tomorrow, bitch."

Vlastomil

Brings in Wiggler. "He's my emotional support worm!"

Wiggler pees on the floor. Is asked to take his pet out of the store. Proceeds to scream about how the store targets the mentally ill. (Muriel has to go to the back to rage in private with Asra)

Asks about products, and then proceeds to criticize the store for even carrying such "ridiculous" items.

Brings a fuckload of coupons, and expects them to be applied to clearance items. Finds out that coupons cannot be honored for clearance items, and leaves two whole shopping carts of random items for the staff to reshelf.

"I can't see myself spending $3 on THAT."

To Asra: "I'm going to need your employee discount." Asra: "So...I can move in with you tonight?" Vlastomil: "What?" Asra: "Well, if I give you my discount, I will be promptly fired. I have a snake to take care of. If I lose my job, I lose my apartment and my ability to feed myself and my snake. Since YOU would be responsible for my getting fired, I'd expect YOU to take care of me and my snake afterward. So...I can move in with you tonight?" Vlastomil: "...nevermind."

"The handsome manager said I could get this item with a 10% discount because it's not the brand I'm wanting." Julian: "Lucio isn't here today." Vlastomil: "He said it the other day." Julian: "He has to actually be here and tell me that himself, sorry. He'll be here tomorrow, try again then."

Went into the bathroom. A few minutes later, came out and grabbed Muriel and said that the bathroom needed to be cleaned. Muriel looked inside and was APPALLED by the sight of feces smeared EVERYWHERE. The floor, all of the stall doors, the trash can, the sinks, the toilets. Vlastomil: "Yeah, I had an accident." Muriel did not hide his disgust and went to get the cleaning cart. Threatened to quit that night. Muriel: "This is the kind of stuff DOCTORS AND NURSES deal with! They get paid at least $20 an hour! I make MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE!!!"

Vulgora

The customer that snaps at every single employee that speaks to them.

"No one likes (sports team)! Why the hell do you even carry merch for this shitty team?!" (because there are more fans of that sports team than of the team that THEY like in that particular area)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A PENALTY FOR LETTING MY LAYAWAY EXPIRE?! I WANT MY FULL REFUND!!!"

"RETURN THIS ITEM!" Portia: "We don't carry this item." Vulgora: "YES YOU DO, I BOUGHT IT HERE!!" Portia: "I'm sorry, but this item is exclusive to (different store)." Vulgora: "YOU'RE AN IDIOT! LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!" Nadia proceeds to tell them the EXACT. SAME. THING. Vulgora: "YOU'RE ALL MORONS! I'M CALLING CORPORATE!"

"How do I install a trailer hitch?" Julian: "I'm sorry, I don't know." Vulgora: "Well they just need to employ a trained monkey here!" Julian: "We ARE accepting applications, you know."

"Is this shit real gold?" Portia: "Yes, 18k." Vulgora: "How much is it?" Portia: *looks* "$250." Vulgora: "What gold do you have for $20?" Portia: "Nothing."

"I WILL CLIMB OVER THIS DESK AND MESS YOU UP!" Portia: *points to the camera aimed directly at them* "Do it. I'll see you in court."

They lost their place in line because they had to go and look at something. When the person behind them stepped up to the register and started to get their items rung up, they dashed back in front of the person and grabbed Portia's arm to stop her from ringing up the other person's items. Drew back in shock and horror when Portia immediately balled up her fist and held it threateningly at them. Nadia was standing right there next to Portia. Nadia: "You need to leave. Right now." After they left, Nadia looked to Portia and said: "You wouldn't have gotten in trouble if you'd hit them, you know." Portia: "No one grabs me. No one."

"YOU'RE HIDING ALL OF THE STORE EXCLUSIVE POP FIGURES IN THE BACK SO YOU IDIOTS CAN BUY THEM ALL AND SELL THEM ON EBAY!!" Julian: "I'm sorry, but you're incorrect. That Pop figure is $8, and no one here wants to lose their job over an $8 figure. Plus...the figure you're wanting isn't at this store anyway." Vulgora: "AND WHY NOT?!" Julian: "...Because it's sold online only." *shows them the online info that clearly states "online-only"*

Valerius

The customer who expects an employee to follow them around with a basket while they shop.

"Is this organic?" Julian: "Yes, sir, it is." Valerius: "I don't believe you. Places like this can't possibly carry organic items."

Left an ENTIRE. PILE. of tried-on clothes in the dressing room when the limit on items was 4.

Opened at least 20 different tubes of lipstick and swiped them on his arm. Put them all back on the shelf. Asra could be heard swearing as he had to pull each lipstick off of the shelf and dispose of them since they were no longer sanitary and could not be sold. "Couldn't he just steal? It would have been so much easier..."

Comes into the store drunk off his ass and acts belligerent to everyone he sees. Gets so OFFENDED when asked to leave.

"Are these diamonds real?" Asra: "They are lab-grown." Valerius: "So they aren't real." Asra: "They are lab-grown, so they are synthetic diamonds." Valerius: "So they aren't real." Asra: *sighs* "They wouldn't be sold for just $50 if they were."

Starts fights with other customers because he thinks "They're weird."

The customer who accosts other customers, thinking they work there. Even though they AREN'T. WEARING. A. UNIFORM.

Stuffs a pile of clothes he decided he doesn't want behind the tampons.

Demands that the single bathroom be unlocked, even though the single bathroom being locked means that it's occupied.

"How do these pants make my package look?" Julian: "...I'm not going to look, sir. But they make your calves look amazing."

Walked by Asra and pinched his ass. Looked so shocked when Asra whirled around and yelled at him. Valerius: "Hey, I thought you would like that!" Asra: "I CLEARLY DID NOT! That is called SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! YOU GO TO JAIL FOR THAT!!!"

#the arcana headcanons #arcana headcanons #the arcana asra #the arcana julian #the arcana nadia #the arcana portia #the arcana muriel #starblazerm31 headcanons #who just pinches a strangers ass

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

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Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl-

i didn’t die i just fell in love with that skill tree creator and have done nothing for the past few days but make skill trees and sleep for 3 hour intervals. im very excited for the gameplay on Wednesday but oh man oh me oh my i gotta catch up on a lot of posts lol

tl;dr: Fl4k is a badass. Stop misgendering them or I’ll show up at your home at 3am local time every time and then eat your spine. Bonus: Mr. Chew being an ‘Eridian skag’ is probably due to some funky mutation from eridium/slag/eridian stuff. Kinda like how Threshers have the ability to make singularities because they are native to Elpis, which is a big ol’ Eridian base (which i totally addressed in this post lol). I also gave my opinion on Fl4k’s skills in general, if you’re interested in that. Overall, a very awesome trailer! Definitely lived up to the hype.

i said it before, this trailer was one of the best ones. definitely #2 for me, Zane is still at #1 because i actually laughed during it. the music in this one is definitely the best out of all 4 tho. seems like they’re all variations of the same song, i like this one best. I need this soundtrack sooo bad.

also i know probably no one else following this blog watches one piece but like

that first footstep with the studded boot and the sound effect immediately flung me back to katakuri. god katakuri was a badass. i was so excited to see that fight animated.

mr chew spinning around is my favorite thing ever. i love that you can tell the personality of the pets just from watching the intro.

i know fl4k is like a real badass in this trailer, but i get the feeling they’re going to end up being at least a little soft for their pets. i mean... they have stuffed animals of them ffs.

so... we’re near Sanctuary-III in this trailer? I gotta keep my eye out then. i also want to see if that one claptrap area guess i had is correct or not... this looks like an entryway for the garage so im guessing i wasn’t, but let’s seeeee

there is a raised bit up and to the left

also im wondering if this means we’re going to have to rescue ellie from the CoV.

hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmm i don’t think the signs match up.

mr chew is the goodest boy. im so glad we can pet/interact with him!! i want to know what the names of the other pets are

also, a bit off topic but

i could have sworn fl4k’s jabber was cryo/shock. it was blue, wasn’t it? i wonder if they changed it or if it’s skill upgrades change its color. i thought the upgrades just gave it better guns.

yeah it was! i guess possibly upgrading it with the guns gives it a new color scheme? maybe? this could be the gunslinger upgrade!

it looks like their jabber went through the most design changes out of all of the pets. that or this is yet another upgrade (since each pet has 3 states). maybe this is the beefcake version.

‘bitch’. i love how expressive fl4k is with just the eye. very well done.

ohhh you know what that building is in the back?

[we’re near the intro to the game!]*

and tbh i don’t think this place has the building for Ellie’s Scrap in it... i don’t see it anywhere. maybe this is the actual scrapyard and the building is on the other side?

not quite sure tbh. but at least we know this place may also be near sanc-iii, just maybe not the same area as the actual Ellie’s Scrap.

i mean... there IS a shitload of cars everywhere. i wouldn’t surprised if it’s near her garage cause it looks like a scrapyard.

but also where in the fuck are all these ‘normal’ looking cars coming from?? it’s not like we see them being used on pandora. all the ones we see in bl1/2 are clearly dilapidated and rusting. big thonk. at least the vans/busses kinda make sense.

oh yeah that is definitely the same building. [it’s the recruitment center!]*

this scene with the rakk is my favorite out of all the trailers. so fuckin cool

i do hope the jabber goes back to being blue at some point. i like the red design too, don’t get me wrong, but i much prefer the glowy blue. it’s my favorite color and you guys know i love glowing things 👀

<Huge Selection!!!> lol

cat/doggo/monkey. mr chew is my favorite pet but i love the jabber panting like a dog lol

i never knew this is where spiderant mouths were

i always assumed they were below that... f r e a k y

“he likes to chase cars”

fl4k probably took them to the scrapyard for this exact reason ngl. fl4k being a big softie to their pets confirmed

(also, notice how fl4k uses ‘he’ for mr chew. it’s almost as if they understand the concept of gender, chose their own pronouns, and your argument that they only are nonbinary only because they “don’t understand yet” is invalid! Fl4k is canonically nonbinary and uses they/them/theirs pronouns as confirmed by both SungWon Cho and their in-game skills.

Now that you know, use they/them/theirs for Fl4k or get off my blog. Because by not doing so, you are disrespecting the devs’ wishes for this character AND the nonbinary people who find representation in them and I won’t support that. if you feel like arguing your reasons to purposefully misgender them even after knowing this, please DM me so I can block you. thanks!

For those of you out there actually making an effort: mistakes happen, especially if Fl4k is the first NB person you’ve learned about. Just make sure to correct yourself then move on, and we’re okay. Everyone has to learn sometime and it’s better to put in the effort than not care at all. It will become second nature.)

Fl4k is such a badass, they really are way different than i expected (personality-wise), but i am not complaining. gearbox knows me better than i know myself, so i know i’m going to end up loving Fl4k anyway. ProZD did such a fantastic job, i honestly did not recognize him at first! i can tell with certain words now, but wow i am blown away.

i hope we’re able to climb that bird’s nest lookin’ thing in the back. it would be perfect for sniping and/or placing ur clone for maximum coverage.

seriously, what a badass.

idk i feel obligated to give my opinions of Fl4k over here since they were recently released. I am digging them 100%, tho i was kinda surprised (not in a bad way) they’re not as... i guess soft as i was expecting from their character design with the plushes and the face on the backpack and the smiley face pin, but i imagine that’s different when they’re interacting with their pets. im super curious to see how this VH group’s dynamic is going to go.

mechanically, their skills seem perfect for people who loved sniper Zer0 and in general Mordecai, with a splash of Salvador tossed in for good luck. I am a dirty melee Zer0 main and i prefered Phasewalking over Bloodwing (altho i still play mordy bc he’s best bl1 VH) so, while I am definitely going to give Fl4k a go, they’re not my main bl3 Vault Hunter, that’s reserved for Zane and his lovely ability to befuddle enemies and run around. Funnily enough, I’m not even a fan of pet classes, so Fl4k being second in my play order is pretty funny. Tho, yeah, Amara being last is also pretty weird. I guess I don’t necessarily enjoy melee, I just enjoy messing with the bad guys lol

ohh, also, I am most interested in the upgrade for mr. chew that gives him the ability to create singularities and is called ‘Eridian Skag’.

so I’m not saying my theory that the threshers on the moon were connected to Eridians was right, I’m just saying they’re the only form of wildlife we know that has a singularity ability (outside of Mr. Chew, apparently).

im just saying gearbox, you should hire me to write your deep lore for you cause i’d do it for free

im wondering if we’ll be seeing skags with wormhole abilities in bl3. maybe the constant exposure to slag is starting to mutate them further beyond just elemental bonuses (on badass skags). We know Maya’s phaselock has a singularity ability (so does Amara’s phasegrasp), and that is sorta ‘occurring naturally’ (you know, as natural as siren powers can get) unlike the singularity grenades we encounter which use our known technology. plus, uh, whatever happened to the destroyer’s eye in TPS that made it create a singularity/wormhole by injecting it with a fuckload of slag. that probably has something to do with this as well.

but geez i really hope mr. chew is okay with being all slag/eridium-ed up. i guess being badass elemental skags doesn’t appear to hurt them, just make them more powerful, unlike humans. maybe that has something to do with sentience, if slag/eridium/eridian stuff actually is driving bandits crazy. could explain why/if the jabber doesn’t get an element like the skag (eridian skag) and spiderant (fire) do, since they’re described as semi-sentient...

anyway.

Fl4k is cool. Definitely a neat trailer- my second favorite for sure- and the skill tree drop blew me away because i was not expecting it. im expecting a lot of Fl4k mains in the first few weeks of gameplay because they look like a lot of fun!

EDIT: i was wrong, in the newest IGN vid, it turns out we ARE near the recruitment center, because that IS the recruitment center

they gave them little orange flags! good to know!!

#fl4k #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #fl4k is nonbinary #fl4k uses they/them/their pronouns

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bittysvalentines · 5 years

Text

Zoo Date

From: @eatallofthepumpkinthings

To: @secretgeniusshittyknight

Content: Ransom/Holster, established relationship, canon compliant

“Good afternoon”

“Hello there young man. How many?”

“Two, please” he responded. He glanced over at Ransom who was vibrating out of his skin. His eyes were huge, his lips pursed in concentration, and his back stretched to try and get a peek past the gates. He'd spent a month creating and refining a spreadsheet that “perfectly maximizes our animal exploration time.” Their itinerary he now clutched in his large hands. Holster couldn't help but smile at his boyfriend's excitement.

“That'll be 35.95” He handed the woman his credit card and turned towards Ransom again. When Holster had suggested this a month ago, it was before a bombardment of new customer meetings, budget realignments, new team member onboardings, and all manner of project delays and hiccups. He couldn't wait to get in the gates and put the month behind him. He smiled again as Ransom saddled up beside him.

The admissions lady passed Holster back his card and a receipt which he signed. She slid him two maps. Before he could grab them, Ransom had snatched one away and was ripping it open.

“Excited, aren't we?” the lady asked. Holster chuckled.

She began to speak again but startled a bit at Ransom's boisterous “Woo hoos” He had grabbed Holster's hand and was tugging him towards the gate.

“Well before you guys head in there, do you have any questions?”

“No I think we have everything covered. Thanks!” He let Ransom tug him about a foot.

“Have fun and welcome to Franklin Park Zoo.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Whats up next babe?” The first section they had gone through was the “Serengeti Crossing” where they had spotted porcupines, zebras, ostriches, and warthogs. They'd just finished the “Kalahari Kingdom” section where they got to see some lounging lions and a tiger that was bathing its cubs.

They had stopped to read every info graph and inscription by each animal, plus Ransom had shared some pretty sweet, and sometimes, sick facts about each animal they saw. Holster was endeared to Ransom when he realized that his partner had spent extra time on the zoo's website and online in general to learn facts about all the animals just to share with him. But he realized they were running about 15 minutes behind schedule and wasn't sure how Ransom would react once he realized.

Holster bit his tongue as he watched Ransom review the itinerary and then look at his watch.

“We are running behind, but that shouldn't matter much right? The plan was to be out of here before closing but if we stay til then... There wasn't something you needed to get home to do right?”

“No, nothing. I got my work done for the K&R project last night so I haven't anything to do tonight. Well except maybe you” He waggled his eyebrows at him.

Ransom laughed as color rose in his cheeks. “Well then...” he wiggled his eyebrows back at him. “Lets just stick to the plan of action, but not worry too much about the time.”

“Sounds good to me!” Ransom dropped Holster's hand and unfolded the map holding it against some siding.

“If we continue down this path, we should come to the Tropical Forest building. It's what's next on the list and it's inside so we can take a quick break to cool down and to reapply sunblock to your forehead.”

Holster guffawed “Its only been an hour and a half”

“Bro, and you're already lookin' like a lobster.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later they sat at an empty pavilion table near the “Things Wild” gift shop, taking massive bites out of Bitty's PB&J sandwiches they had packed. Holster was thanking his stars for the forethought to pack 4 sandwiches instead of just two, and he was already daydreaming about the crock pot pork they had waiting for them at home when he looked over at Ransom who was scrolling through the SMH group chat.

They had now gone through the Tropical Forest, “Bird's World”, and the “Outback Trail”; seen what felt like hundreds of different animals; and took what felt like a million different photos. When they finally sat down for their late lunch, Ransom sent some of their better photos to the group.

Tango: Can we get an ocelot for the Haus? Its so cute!

Chowder: I agree with Tango! :D

Ollie: I also agree on the condition that its Haus trained

Wicks: Did you know that ancient Australian war lords kept trained emus in their armies?

Ford: I'm not sure you guys are cut out for taking care of an animal

Tango: C'mon!

Chowder: Aww :'[

Ford: also Wicks that is like 100% false

Ollie: Nah its totally true

Ollie: do you think a monkey could hang from our lights?

Whiskey: you mean the chandelier in your room?

Chowder: totally! But monkey's aren't heavy. And look lemurs are tiny too. They could both probably hang from it

Wicks: Swawesome

Ollie: Swawsome

Ford: NO

Bitty: good lord thats a disaster waiting to happen

Bitty: yall couldn't handle a stuffed ocelot. Let alone a live animal

Tango: I could def take care of a stuffed ocelot. It doesn't even need to eat!

Chowder: Are we talking cute stuffed or weird on the wall stuffed?

Lards: Way to talk them down Bits

Jack: Thats a great shot of the flamingo. Its very difficult to get an action photo like that on a phone.

Bitty: #masternegotiator

Whiskey: That is a good shot of the flamingos guys

Nursey: yeah yeah great shots, haus pets, blah....but did none of you notice how that red kangaroo looks like Poindexter. Its like a spitting image

Dex: sdkj;fjkdsa;kdf Nurse!

Tango: Ears

Lards: EARS

Bitty: EA RS

Chowder: eARs

Shits: that Capybara is giving me good vibes guys

Shits: good vibes

“You forgot the best one babe,” Holster brushed his hands over Ransom's and then quickly grabbed his phone.

“Hey!” Ransom laughed, and so did Holster. “Which one are you sending?”

“The one with us and the hippo!”

They had just walked into the Tropical Forest building when they came face to face with a smiling hippo. A group of school children were on the opposite side of the tank and tapping on the glass. Before the children could run up to the other side of the tank, Ransom and Holster had slid their backs against the wall, locked lips, and snapped a selfie with the hippo. Holster had thought the hippo looked like it was blowing a kiss of his own, but Ransom had cheerily admonished him for anthropomorphizing the hippo. When they had gotten to the side of the tank where the children had vacated, they found a plaque informing them that the hippos name was “Fred”. Holster held back a smug face, but winked at Ransom and his scrunched up nose.

When he sent the picture to the group chat the response was near instantaneous.

Chowder: CUTE!

Tango: OMG so adorable

Wicks: Niceeeeeeeeee

Ollie: Nice!!!!!!!!!

Dex: Noiceeee

Nurse: Why does he look like a priest at your wedding?

Shits: Is that hippo ordained?

Jack: Congratulations!

Chowder: congrats!!!!!

Bitty: <3 <3 <3 oh im gonna cry

Lards: Can't believe you got hitched without us

Whiskey: Nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before heading off to the last three sections of the park, Ransom guided him into the gift shop. He perused the shelves of books, knickknacks, and stuffed animals. He found a pink stuffed hippo and immediately grabbed it from the shelf. He snuck up behind Ransom and rubbed the hippos face against his cheek. “Mwuah”

Ransom jumped but turned and laughed at him. “Oh stop it you... you...”

“Me...”

“Cutie hippo butt face!”

“That was lame bro.” Ransom's cheeks colored more and Holster leaned over to give him a smacking wet kiss himself.

Ransom laughed and wiped his cheek. “So are we getting that?” he said pointing at the hippo.

“Hell yeah! See anything you like?”

Ransom gestured to the stuffed lemurs in front of him. “Look at this.” He grabbed the arms of the lemur that were clasped together and separated them. When he let go they snapped back together. “Magnetic”

“Oh man, the frogs are gonna love that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They made it through the rest of the zoo in an hour and a half. They saw goats, butterflies, prairie dogs, and even some cute fuzzy red pandas. Holster grinned as he thought about Ransom's face as one of the zookeepers brought over a llama for them to pet. When Ransom had stroked the llamas hair his eyes had lit up like stars and his shoulders had relaxed. It was one of the few moments all month where Holster had seen Ransom relax.

He looked over at Ransom now. Took in his drowsy form, cuddling his new stuffed hippo. His eyes drifted closed ever so slowly, and reopened even slower. He doubted that he would make it home before falling asleep. It had been a long exciting day and they were both exhausted. Holster gently took one of Ransom's hands and laced their fingers together. “You had fun babe?”

“Yeah. Can't wait to get home and cuddle though.”

“Me too.” He smiled.

Notes

Zoo website: https://www.zoonewengland.org/franklin-park-zoo/

Zoo map: https://www.zoonewengland.org/media/1517583/map-fzoo-winter-2018-hd.pdf

I implore you to look up images of and learn a little bit about all the animals mentioned! Red Pandas are my favorite.

#holsterransom #fanfiction #bittysvalentines #bv2019 #omgcp

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cheetahsprints · 6 years

Text

The Coolest Uncles Alive

Summary: In which one twin wanted to grow up to be a zookeeper and the other nearly got eaten by a large feline. Harry and Cisco didn’t have high hopes for their futures. Words: 1756 A/N: Forgive me for changing the canon. But this is fanfiction? And the show itself doesn't exactly follow the comics to a tee.

Cisco spread his arms. “Behold! Welcome to the Zoo. Lions, Tigers, and Bears oh my!”

Harry huffed in amusement beside him. Cisco lifted one of the twins from his shoulders to the ground. Avery immediately attached to Cisco’s leg. Harry crossed his arms in disapproval. Beside him, Joseph giggled at his facial expression. They were watching the mischievous pair so WestAllen could have a second honeymoon. At the end of the day, Cisco and Harry would probably need a second honeymoon. Cisco was glad neither of them could accidentally get pregnant, not that they wouldn’t be excessively careful.

“Avery Francis West-Allen,” Harry said, cool as a cucumber, “let of your godfather’s leg.”

Avery whined. Joey ignored the scene and started punching the air. He almost punched someone passing by, so Harry held him still.

“Avery. Remember you're a big boy now,” Cisco admonished.

He whined again but detached. He restlessly jumped around, his tutu bouncing. The West-Allens hadn't known what the gender of their other baby would be, so Harry gifted them some of Jesse’s old clothes. Avery was also wearing a “Daddy’s little princess” shirt. They couldn't figure out how Avery found them. No one was going to police a four-year-old child on what to wear, though. Or anyone for that matter, who needed enforced gender roles? The shirt wasn’t surprising, since Avery aggressively idolized regal female characters, especially Moana, Shuri, Mulan, and Diana Prince. Cisco didn’t know if Avery had a single clue about ballet.

Joey had nicked Avery’s favorite T-shirt of the Ninja turtle Donatello. Joey lived to annoy his sibling.

They were almost identical at first glance. But Joey had a pointier nose and green eyes. Avery’s eyes leaned more toward brown, and his nose was set wider. The rest of his face had a stronger resemblance to Barry, though it was hard to tell past the lingering baby-fat, with a round chin and angular cheekbones.

“Can we visit elephants?” Joey asked. Except it sounded like ellie-pants.

Avery protested, “I want to see the caramels!”

“Camels,” Harry said.

“Campbell’s,” Avery tried to mimic. Harry shrugged and gave up.

“We’ll get to those both,” Cisco promised.

They passed monkeys, gorillas, elephants, bears, zebras, camels and crocodiles. When they reached the petting zoo, Joey tugged on Cisco’s shirt hem.

“Are the animals sad all locked up?”

Cisco tapped his head and thought out his answer. “Well, they're well fed, with easy access to medicine. Room to roam and places to hide. Plus they're safe from meanies who'd hurt or sell them.”

Joey blinked a few times and smiled. “That's good.”

Joey moved on to the petting zoo, Avery skipping merrily behind him. They had fun, while Harry laughed at Cisco getting chased around by a goat. He fell on his ass, and soon all the children were guffawing with delight. He dusted himself off.

“I am done with the zoo,” Cisco complained. Harry fixed his curls and pecked him on the lips.

“Yuck kissy face!” Avery shouted. Harry grabbed at him, but he quickly dodged. Joey bolted after him. Cisco and Harry trudged after them into the gift shop.

They found that Joey had already found a stuffed elephant. It was roughly the size of his body. Harry was indulgent and brought it to the counter without question. Along with wolf ears. Avery wanted two pairs of cat ears and a little zookeeper outfit. Cisco lifted it with a raised eyebrow.

“I is gonna be the best a minimal - I mean, animal keeper when I is big,” Avery lisped.

“I am,” Harry corrected gently. His mouth tilted toward a frown.

“You’re already big and a scientist,” Avery said, placing his hands on his hips. Harry didn't know why he tried.

“Are you sure you don't want to be a scientist too? Maybe a reporter? Or an astronaut?”

Avery stared at him expressionless. He stated slowly like Cisco was extra dumb, “I wanna. Be a. Zoo. Keeper.”

Cisco nodded. “Okay, okay. Nothing wrong with that.”

Harry ushered everyone out of the store. Once outside, Joey put his wolf ears on. He cupped his hands around his mouth and howled. Harry shook his head. He attempted to push the elephant off on Cisco. He held up a hand.

“You bought it, you carry it.”

Avery put on the cat ears and handed a pair to Harry. He sighed unhappily but slipped them on. Cisco snorted into his hand, and Harry flicked his ear.

They came up on the cheetahs. The pair of spotted cats watched them. Cisco loosed a breathy “hah-hah” at the information plate. The male was named Kitty Flash, the female ironically was Diana the Wonder-Cat. Joey pointed with his mouth open. “It's like Duma!”

Harry gave Cisco a look, and Cisco scratched the back of his neck. It was a fine film for kids, with his supervision. Joey may have stayed up too late and had too much sugar, who was to know. Avery had fallen asleep twenty minutes in. Cisco pushed his curls out of his face, long and wild as they were. They just fell back in place.

Avery argued, “No, no they're like Fuli from the Lion Guard!”

“That show sucks,” Joey grumped.

“Your face sucks Jojo!”

“That's enough,” Harry said firmly.

The twins were quiet but continued to glower at each other. Cisco had to intervene before they started a poking war or something. He bundled his hair and pulled it over the front of one shoulder. Harry had convinced him a while ago to let it grow out more. He was beginning to doubt the wisdom in catering to his husband’s obsession.

“The cheetah is the fastest land animal, aside from your dad. Their enlarged hearts and lungs help them,” Cisco informed them. He was just summarizing the name plate. “And they use their tails to make sharp turns.”

Their attention turned on him. They looked eager for more. Cisco floundered. He didn’t actually know a lot about cheetahs. Luckily, Harry came to his rescue.

“Cheetahs are naturally nervous and shy -”

“Like that kid Billy in our class?”

“Sure. They will introduce them to a dog as a companion at a young age. The cheetah reads their vibe to know how to behave.”

Avery touched his cat ears. “I'm a cheetah now! Can I get a puppy?”

Cisco shared a concerned look with Harry. Then he said, “That’s a question for your parents kiddo.”

“My birthday is soon,” Avery whispered excitedly.

“Our birthday. Our puppy,” Joey chimed in.

“Wazzat? I do not talk to dummies who say lion guard sucks.”

He turned away to watch the cheetahs. Joey stuck his tongue out. One of the cats had come rather close. It sat down, ears flicking. Avery waved. He pointed his finger and tried to count the spots. The wind picked up suddenly. Cisco wrestled his hair into a ponytail. He always kept the bands in his pockets. Harry palm pressed to the back of his neck. He gestured at the stand selling various sweet treats.

“Who wants ice cream?” Cisco asked.

“Mommy sayed I can't eat ice cream. Cos it came back up and daddy didn’t like wearing it,” Avery said absently, still counting the spots. “Eleven… twelve… wait what’s after twelve?” The cheetah licked its paw and swiped over its ear. Avery gave up counting and imitated the action.

“Cotton candy then. Both are right past the enclosure.”

“Race me,” Joey said. “If you win you don't gotta speak to me, if I win then you gotta.”

Cisco wasn't sure he was a fan of that wager. But at least it might mean less bickering in the car. He doubted Avery could hold out that long though.

“Get ready to lose to Josie the fastest cheetah ever!”

Joey scoffed, “That sounds like a girl name.”

“Cos it is, genius.”

Joey nodded sagely. “I see.”

They got into position. Cisco and Harry followed sedately as they ran off on their tiny legs. Joey stumbled halfway there, and Avery won. Cisco bought his cotton candy and strawberry ice cream for Joey. By the end, Joey's face was covered in smudges of ice cream.

“You were supposed to eat that, not wear it,” Harry admonished. Joey giggled and wiped some onto Harry’s nose. Cisco smirked. When the kids weren't looking, he licked it off.

Meanwhile, Avery managed to get cotton puffs in his hair. Joey had disappeared in the blink of an eye. Cisco and Harry glared at Avery questioningly, as though he vanished his brother by sheer force of will.

He said in a small voice, “Joey want to be friends with the Fulis.”

Cisco and Harry had never ran so fast in their lives. They almost forgot to grab Avery. Harry carried him parallel to the ground. He wrapped himself around Harry’s leg when they reached the enclosure. Cisco gasped and covered his mouth at the sight. Harry just face-palmed.

Cisco uttered, “Joseph Henry West-Allen. If the cats don't get him, I will.”

“I'm too old for this.”

By some unexpected willfulness, Joey had found his way into the cheetah enclosure. He was creeping toward a sleeping cat. The other one was watching him like a hawk. Its tail whipped side to side. Unlike dogs, that was not a friendly gesture.

“Shit, shit, satan damned hell,” Cisco shouted. Harry groaned in agreement, not lifting his head. Several parents and assorted guardians shot him scandalized looks. He didn't care. There was nothing else for it. He breached right in front of the cheetah preparing to pounce. He was greeted with semi-retractable claws in his shoulders. Cisco wasn’t braced for the pure force, knocking him to the ground. However, it seemed to decide he was too big of a fish to fry. It collapsed beside him and started purring. He thanked the speed force and grabbed up Joey, kicking and screaming.

Cisco swore he’d buy the twins a puppy if they kept the incident quiet. Avery managed to barter an additional kitten out of him. Avery leapt into his arms and hugged him. Joey copied him, but with Harry, who was barely able to balance him. Joey gave Harry a kiss on his chin with the “mwah” sound effect.

“Did this make you change your mind about kids?” Harry asked.

“Nope. Not at all, no.”

“Good,” Harry said. “Keeping up with you is challenge enough, sweetheart.”

Cisco threaded their fingers. Harry smiled fondly and kissed his cheek.

Joey added emphatically, “But you're the coolest uncles in the world.”

#harrisco #Uncle Harrisco #established relationship #married Harrisco #babysitting #godfather Cisco #the twins love Harry's grouchy-face #my fic

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sugdenlovesdingle · 6 years

Text

The Darkness of the Mind (AO3) Aaron week day 3: Write an angsty Aaron scene + a character of your choice

A/N: I always say I’m not an angst writer but well... turns out today I am. This is going to hurt, I’m sorry.

“We’ve been thinking about getting one too. For Ava.” Aaron said, absentmindedly petting the dog on Paddy’s exam table. He’d stopped by for a chat earlier and got roped into helping out.

“For Ava. Of course.” Paddy said, amused.

“Yeah. It’ll be good for her to have a dog. Give her a friend to play with and all that, you know?.”

“Oh I know. I also know you’ve wanted to get another dog ever since… well… ever since I can remember really.”

Aaron chuckled, realising he’d been caught out.

“Yeah ok I want a dog too. I’ve been trying to sell Robert on it by telling him it’ll be good for Ava.”

“And how is that going for you?”

“He still thinks she’s too young but that we can think about getting a small dog when she’s a little older. But three isn’t too young is it?”

“Oh I don’t know… I’m no expert on these things.”

“Surely you have patients that live with families with small children.”

“I do, I do. Mostly these dogs are very protective of the kids. They consider them part of their pack. And in a pack everyone protects the puppies.”

Aaron nodded.

“You need to tell Robert that when you come over for tea on Friday.”

“What? No, no, no I’m done coming between you and your husband. Remember when you told me to butt out of your marriage? This is me butting out.”

“That was years ago. Just picture Ava’s little face when she gets her own doggie. You know how much she loves that robot dog monstrosity Liv got her for Christmas.”

Paddy laughed.

“Have the batteries not run out yet?”

“I wish.” Aaron groaned. “I’m tempted to take the batteries out but she loves the barking and the other noises. If it was a real dog we could at least teach it not to bark for hours on end.”

“That’s another plus for your pro dog list.” Paddy pointed out. “Controlled barking.”

“Yeah…” Aaron agreed. “Robert wants something small… like a Jack Russell or something. But I don’t want those little ankle biters near my daughter. I was thinking a German Shepherd like Clyde. He would’ve loved kids, I’m sure.”

“A Jack Russel can be a good family dog too. If you raise them right.”

“Yeah but they’re not real dogs are they? An adult dog that fits in the palm of your hand… that’s just not right.”

Paddy laughed at the face Aaron made.

“Seems like you’ve got your mind made up already.”

“Yeah the only problem now is convincing my husband. Maybe I should just set Ava on him. He can’t refuse her anything.”

“And you can?”

“That’s beside the point. Isn’t it Gerry?” Aaron said, turning his attention to the Pomeranian he’d been petting for the past 20 minutes. “I think he agrees.”

“Paddy are you done with Gerry yet? Mrs Henderson is waiting out front.” Vanessa asked as she walked into the exam room.

“Yes, yes. Almost done here. How was the blood thirsty monster?”

“Blood thirsty monster?” Aaron asked, looking back and forth between Paddy and Vanessa.

“Harry the Shetland pony.” Vanessa explained. “He has an infection in his mouth and Paddy is scared of him so I took the call. He’s doing better. Infection is clearing up and he was searching my pockets for food again.” She said, directing the last part at Paddy.

“You’re scared of a Shetland pony? Aren’t they about this high?” Aaron asked, bringing his hand down to his knee.

“They’re vicious little buggers.” Paddy said, grabby Gerry from the table and tucking him under his arm. “Come on Gerry, let’s get you back to your mum.”

“Oh Aaron, I almost forgot, Ava left her monkey at mine yesterday. I was going to drop it off later but let me just grab it for you now.” Vanessa said, when he was about to follow Paddy out into the waiting room.

“Thanks. She was too tired last night to miss it.” Aaron said when she returned with the stuffed monkey in overalls Robert had bought when they’d found out their surrogate was pregnant. “Barely stayed awake long enough for her tea.”

Vanessa smiled.

“She had a blast with Johnny’s cars. A true mechanic’s daughter.”

Aaron wanted to reply but his ringtone interrupted the conversation. He frowned when he didn’t recognise the number.

“Hello?”

“Hello this is nurse Lewis from Hotten General. I’m looking for Aaron Sugden - Dingle?”

“Yes, speaking.”

“I have you listed as Robert Sugden – Dingle’s emergency contact, is that correct?”

“Yes, Robert is my husband, what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this sir, but your husband and daughter were brought into our hospital about half an hour ago following a car accident.”

“What? What happened? How are they?”

“I’m afraid I can’t give you that information over the phone.”

“What? Why not? Oh my god, are they dead?”

“I’m not…” the nurse started but then seemed to change her mind. “No. I don’t know their condition but if they were dead I would have been told.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?!” Aaron snapped.

“I’m sorry sir, the doctors will be able to tell you more in person.”

Aaron ended the call without another word and dug his car keys out of his pocket.

“Hey, leaving already?” Paddy asked as Aaron all but ran past him out the door.

“Robert and Ava are in hospital.” Aaron said, striding towards the mill and his car.

“What? What happened?”

“Car accident. I don’t know anything more. They wouldn’t tell me over the phone.”

Aaron unlocked his car and attempted to get in, only to have Paddy slam the door shut again.

“Give me your keys.”

“Paddy, my husband and my daughter are in hospital. I don’t have time for a cuppa. I have to go. Now.”

“Yes. I heard you the first time. Give me your keys.” Paddy said holding out his hand. “You’re in no state to drive. You’re no good to anyone if you end up in hospital too. Give me your keys. Now.”

Reluctantly Aaron dropped his keys in Paddy’s hand and got in the passenger’s seat. Though thankfully Paddy seemed to be on the same page as him and decided to ignore any and all speed limits.

“Just drop me off at the main entrance.” Aaron said when they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

“Alright. I’ll catch you up. Do you want me to ring your mum?” Paddy asked but got no reply as Aaron was already running into the hospital.

“My husband and my daughter were brought in earlier.” He told the first person in scrubs he came across.

“Alright, come with me and I will check the computer for you. What are their names?” the nurse said calmly as she steered Aaron towards the front desk.

“Robert Sugden – Dingle. And my daughter is called Ava.”

The nurse nodded and typed something into the computer.

“Alright. Here it is. They’ve been taken up to surgery right away. Your husband had an open tibia fracture and a head injury as well as a collapsed lung that they’ve treated on scene.”

“Ok. And my daughter?” Aaron pushed.

The nurse typed in Ava’s name and something flickered over her face after she hit enter.

“What? Is she dead? What was that look?”

“She… was severely injured in the accident.”

“Severely injured? What does that mean?”

“The paramedics report states she was thrown from the car.”

“What? That’s not possible. She’s always strapped in, in her seat.”

“I’m sorry sir, that’s all I know.”

“I want to see her. Now. And my husband.”

“They’re both in surgery. But I can show you the family room on the surgical floor where you can wait.”

He followed the nurse and sat down on the too cosy looking sofa. Not at all like the hard plastic chairs in A&E.

“Someone will be here to come find you as soon as there’s news.” She told him and left.

After what seemed like hours but was in reality not much more than 10 minutes Paddy wandered in.

“How are they?”

“She’s severely injured. They say she was thrown from the car. But that’s not possible.” Aaron started pacing. “Robert is always super careful. He won’t even take her to David’s if he’s not 100% sure she’s safe. He’s the worrier. He wouldn’t drive if she wasn’t strapped in properly.”

“Do you know what happened?”

Aaron shook his head.

“Accident. I don’t know. They didn’t really tell me.”

“Right. Do you want me to see if I can find out?”

“I can’t lose them Paddy. I need them. Both of them. How can I live without the love of my life or my little girl? Or both?”

“Hey, calm down. Don’t think like that.”

“It’s all I can think about. Ever since I got that phone call. What if they don’t make it?”

“Robert Sugden’s family?” A doctor pulling off a scrub cap asked as she walked into the room some time later.

“He’s my husband. How is he?” Aaron demanded.

“He’s stable for now. I repaired the damage to his leg and our best thoracic surgeon is now working on the damage to his chest.”

“What damage? They said his lung collapsed but that they fixed it.”

“It did but the fractured ribs caused a lot of damage to the organs in the chest cavity. That is what we’re working on now.”

“Is he going to be ok?”

“He lost a lot of blood and his injuries are severe but I am hopeful.”

“Thank you doctor.” Paddy said and the doctor turned to leave.

“Wait. What about my daughter? Ava.”

“I’m sorry I have no information on her. I didn’t treat her.”

The doctor left and Aaron started pacing again.

“Why don’t you go get a coffee? I saw a machine down the hall.” Paddy suggested.

“No. I have to be here. I need to know what’s happening to my little girl.”

An hour and one not very reassuring update on Ava later, Aaron was about to jump out of his skin.

“You need to calm down.” Paddy told him. “Go get a coffee or a sandwich. Take a walk.”

“Her heart stopped, Paddy!”

“I know. I heard the doctor. But they brought her back. She’s young. She’ll be alright.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m a vet, young children and young animals, it’s all the same.” Paddy said and pushed a few coins into Aaron’s hand. “Milk and sugar please.”

Aaron nodded, took a deep breath and went to find the coffee machine.

“Aaron?”

He heard someone call his name just as he reached the machine and tried to figure out how to get coffee from it.

“Aaron Dingle?”

He turned around and it took him a minute to figure out who exactly was walking up to him.

“It is you. Such a blast from the past.”

“Alex. Hi.”

“What brings you here? It’s not your sister again is it? Liv, right?”

“Liv yeah… I mean, no she’s fine. It’s my husband and my daughter. They’re here. They were in an accident.”

“Oh. How are they?”

“Rob is… critical but stable… whatever that means… and Ava is still in surgery and… her heart stopped earlier.” Aaron told him, trying not to cry.

“Oh. I’m sorry. Uhm… I still work in paediatrics… do you want me to see what I can find out?”

“Can you?”

Alex nodded and tapped his tablet.

“Ava, A-V-A?” He asked and Aaron nodded. “Dingle?”

“Sugden-Dingle.”

“Ok. OR 3. I’ll be right back.”

Fifteen minutes later Alex returned, looking solemn.

“And?”

“I… am sorry Aaron.”

“What? No.”

“They did everything they could.”

“No.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, no, no, no.” Aaron fell to his knees. “She’s only three years old. This can’t be happening.”

“Is there anyone you would like me to call for you? Aaron? Aaron?”

Suddenly the room changed and Aaron was in his bed in the mill. Robert sleeping peacefully next to him. He took a few deep breaths in an attempt to get his heart rate back to normal and slipped out of bed and into the bathroom to splash some water in his face.

He’d had the nightmare before and it always left him feeling like hell for days.

He dried his face and quietly slipped out of the room and down the hall. He pushed the door open and let out a sigh of relief when he saw Ava, fast asleep and very much alive in her bed.

“Hey princess.” He said softly as he sat down next to her bed and stroked the dark curls from her face. “Daddy loves you so much.”

He noticed she’d dropped the little stuffed monkey and tucked it back under her arm.

“I will never let anything bad happen to you. I promise.”

“Nightmare?” Robert asked, standing in the doorway.

“Did I wake you?”

Robert shrugged.

“I got cold. It’s ok.” He said and stepped further into the room. “Which one of us was it this time? Her or me?”

Aaron rubbed his face.

“Her. Alex told me this time.”

“Not really the way he’d like you to dream about him, I’m sure.” Robert said, attempting to lighten up the mood a little. “You should talk to your counsellor about these dreams.”

“I know. I’ll call her in the morning.” Aaron promised.

“Good. Come back to bed.”

“In a minute.”

Robert walked over to the shelf by the window and grabbed the baby monitors they still kept in Ava’s room and turned them on. He pressed a kiss to the top of Ava’s head as he put one beside her bed and handed Aaron the other one.

“Come back to bed please.”

Aaron nodded and kissed Ava before getting up from the floor and taking Robert’s hand. Still a little shaken from the nightmare, but happy his family was ok

#robron #aaron dingle #aw2017 #aaronweek2017 #my writing

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obtusemedia · 4 years

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The 50 greatest albums of the 2010s

These 50 albums are the records that stuck with me the most in this past decade. There are albums here that grew on me slowly over time, and others that I instantly clicked with. Some of these records are constantly on repeat; some I only pull off the shelf at a certain time of year, or when I’m in a certain mood.

Regardless of why I love them, these are my 50 favorite albums of the 2010s.

#50: In Colour by Jamie xx (2015)

Instrumental electronic music is really not my thing, but In Colour is one of the few exceptions.

Jamie xx — also a member of indie icons The xx — has said In Colour is meant to evoke the emotions of a night out in London’s nightclubs, but not work as typical dance music that would actually be played in those clubs. That description is dead on.

With the exception of the bouncy Young Thug and Popcaan collab “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times),” which serves as a fun break from the album’s moody atmospheres, none of these songs are danceable. Standouts like “SeeSaw” and “Girl” sound like the half-remembered soundtrack of a blacked-out night, with haunting whispers of vocals throughout. And the more pop-centric, heartbreaking ballads with fellow The xx members Romy and Oliver Sim prove Jamie can write stellar conventional tunes as well.

Best songs: “Loud Places,” “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)”

#49: Days Are Gone by HAIM (2013)

In their influential debut album Days Are Gone, the Haim sisters fused together ‘70s/’80s radio-friendly pop-rock, early ‘90s pop melodies and a modern Instagram sheen to create a collection of 11 instant indie-pop classics.

The San Fernando Valley-based sisters — Este, Danielle, and Alana — have both the songwriting and instrumental chops necessary to create the closest thing Millennials will get to a Fleetwood Mac album. Each song has approximately 40 hooks, plus some smooth guitar licks, just-funky-enough grooves and analog keyboards to get the job done.

Given that 2013′s pop scene was more about disco throwbacks and Miley Cyrus riding construction equipment, it’s unsurprising yet a bummer that should-be hits like “The Wire” or “Forever” never became mega-smashes. But HAIM’s retro pop sound on Days Are Gone would serve as a playbook for the rest of the 2010s for pop stars seeking an indie edge and more pop-inclined indie artists alike.

Best songs: “The Wire,” “Days Are Gone”

#48: Teens of Style by Car Seat Headrest (2015)

Teens of Style is almost more of a sampler record than a proper album. Released after Car Seat Headrest signed to the legendary indie label Matador, the record consists of select songs from Will Toledo’s low-fi Bandcamp recordings, re-recorded.

But let’s be honest — those Bandcamp albums are rooooough. Toledo could write great tunes, but the sound quality was so bad that the songs sounded like they were recorded with a Game Boy Color. The re-recording was necessary.

The tracks here are still appropriately fuzzy, with Toledo singing them through a distorted vocal filter. But with actual production values, the massive guitars and energetic choruses of grunge bangers like “Times To Die,” “Something Soon,” and “The Drum” come to the surface. And it also features one of Toledo’s best songs, the Pet Sounds-meets-Pavement power ballad “Strangers.” It’s a must-listen for any ‘90s nostalgists or sad bastards.

Best songs: “Strangers,” “Something Soon”

#47: AM by Arctic Monkeys (2013)

This was an interesting experiment that seemed doomed to fail: Taking an aggressively British rock band whose previous formula had gotten stale, and transforming them into slick, swaggering American rock gods. But somehow, AM works. Alex Turner channeled a greasy charm in his winking croon, nearly developing a Western drawl. And although the production is significantly smoother, the Arctic Monkeys didn’t forget how to RAWK — the clanging guitars of “R U Mine?” and “Arabella” will wake you right up.

Yes, AM is one of those Urban Outfitters-core albums that was a favorite amongst suburban faux-hipsters. It’s not nearly as cool as it thinks it is. But it’s still the closest thing the ‘10s have to a classic rock masterpiece.

Best songs: “R U Mine?,” “Do I Wanna Know?”

#46: Charli by Charli XCX (2019)

This decade has seen two versions of London pop visionary Charli XCX: The glitched-out weirdo behind “Vroom Vroom” and “Track 10,″ and the snotty popstar who sang the hook on an Iggy Azalea hit and wrote a bubblegum track for a teen romance. What makes Charli such a fun listen is it’s her only project that masterfully balances her two sides.

Do you prefer radio-friendly hook machine Charli? Here’s some synthy duets with Troye Sivan and Lizzo. If you want the experimental side of Charli, there’s the jagged “Click” and a song that sounds like it samples the THX theme. And the best songs take a little from both of Charli’s strengths (like the two tracks below).

Best songs: “Gone,” “Cross You Out”

#45: Harry Styles by Harry Styles (2017)

When Harry Styles, arguably One Direction’s most beloved member, announced his first solo album, I can’t imagine many fans expected it to be so...dad rock.

Styles’ self-titled debut goes down easy, with its gentle guitars and singer-songwriter odes to love. It’s the kind of record that’s easy to scoff at — the pretty one in a boy band tries his hand at ~serious~ music — but remember, critics didn’t love Paul McCartney’s first couple solo albums either. Harry Styles’ impeccable pop-rock songwriting will cement its legacy,

Best songs: “Sign of the Times,” “Two Ghosts”

#44: Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay (2011)

Mylo Xyloto is unabashedly corny, and that’s what makes it great. You’d expect a Coldplay album to already have a high level of cheese, but Mylo Xyloto takes it to another level. Unlike the similarly poppy A Head Full Of Dreams a few years later, Xyloto’s head-first dive into synths and dance beats is actually memorable. There’s technically a loose connecting story tying the songs together, but all you need to enjoy the album is a love for massive, world-conquering choruses and a love of Chris Martin’s heart-on-sleeve emotions.

Best songs: “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall,” “Charlie Brown”

#43: Everybody Works by Jay Som (2017)

Plenty of great dream-pop albums were released this decade, but none of them feature as many variations on that style as Jay Som’s Everybody Works. All of Oakland singer-songwriter Melina Duterte’s songs are hazy and catchy, but she still manages to dabble in the sounds of grunge (“1 Billion Dogs”), Latin pop (“One More Time, Please”) and even early ‘00s soccer-mom pop (“The Bus Song”). And other than an overly-long closing track, Duterte nails everything she tries. Everybody Works is a little slight, but the music is too hypnotizing to resist.

Best songs: “The Bus Song,” “(BedHead)”

#42: The Suburbs by Arcade Fire (2010)

The Suburbs is an album that seems to sprawl out forever, just like its namesake. And with apologies to The Hold Steady, this album is the closest thing Millennials got to creating a Springsteen classic of their own.

The classic-rock and new-wave influences that Arcade Fire melded create a feeling of both comfort and dread, perfectly encapsulating the feelings of someone trapped in endless housing developments and strip malls. The tension builds and builds, until it all gloriously climaxes with the ‘80s pop throwback “Sprawl II” — a triumphant anthem about feeling trapped. Arcade Fire’s follow-ups to The Suburbs might have dimmed the band’s reputation, but their Grammy-winning masterpiece still holds up.

Best songs: “Sprawl II” “Suburban War”

#41: Era Extraña by Neon Indian (2011)

The first sign that Neon Indian wouldn’t be a flash-in-the-pan unlike many of his chillwave peers, Era Extraña is a glitchy new wave pop masterpiece. Tracks like “Halogen (I Could Be A Shadow),” “Hex Girlfriend” and “Suns Irrupt” sound less like traditional synthpop songs than hallucinatory memories, yet they’ll never leave your head. And Texas keyboard wizard Alan Palomo’s biggest crossover hit is also on this album, the burbling gem “Polish Girl.” Jump into any point in the album — it’s likely a stellar tune stuffed with analog synth riffs.

Best songs: “Halogen (I Could Be A Shadow),” “Fallout”

#40: MASSEDUCTION by St. Vincent (2017)

Indie hero St. Vincent made a sharp pivot into pop with MASSEDUCTION, her fifth album and first collaboration with super-producer Jack Antonoff. But given her art-rock leanings, this wasn’t going to be a typical pop album.

MASSEDUCTION is a gonzo record that manages to balance tearjerking ballads like “Happy Birthday, Johnny” and “Slow Disco” with new-wave freakouts like “Fear The Future” and “Sugarboy.” I’d call it one of those pop albums with an undercurrent of darkness under the shiny sheen, but the darkness on this album is more than an undercurrent. Panic is the overwhelming emotion throughout MASSEDUCTION, and Annie Clark was the perfect artist to convey that feeling through her weirdo pop jams.

Best songs: “Los Ageless,” “Happy Birthday, Johnny”

#39: Gossamer by Passion Pit (2012)

Gossamer sounded cutting-edge in 2012, with its warped vocal samples and fizzy synthpop production. Unfortunately, that production has already aged badly less than a decade later.

But that doesn’t mean that Michael Angelakos’ songwriting has suffered with time. His morose, depressed lyrics still sync masterfully with the sugary synthpop that backs them up. And even though Angelakos is writing about dour topics like the Great Recession, bipolar disorder and suicide, he doesn’t forget the hooks. Songs like “Carried Away,” “Cry Like A Ghost” and of course, the big hit “Take A Walk,” could easily slide into Top 40 radio if they weren’t so grim lyrically. And I’m sure once early ‘10s production comes back in vogue in a decade or two, Gossamer will once again sound fresh.

Best songs: “Take A Walk,” “I’ll Be Alright”

#38: Atrocity Exhibition by Danny Brown (2016)

Danny Brown’s music always seemed a little unhinged. But Atrocity Exhibition — one of the decade’s most unique, haunting albums — is a true look into his demented mind. The production is warped and fried, and the Detroit rapper’s inimitable whacked-out flow is pushed to its breaking point. The result is a record that sounds both cartoonishly fun and absolutely terrifying.

Brown’s hedonistic-yet-chaotic lifestyle detailed in Atrocity Exhibition is wildly entertaining to listen to, but it’s not a world you want to live in. It sounds like both dropping acid and getting curb-stomped at the same time. And it’s a sonic achievement I’m not sure Brown will be able to top.

Best songs: “Ain’t It Funny,” “When It Rain”

#37: Born This Way by Lady Gaga (2011)

Listen, I love Gaga. She’s my favorite pop star of all time, point blank. But she only has one perfect album: 2009′s sharp, concise The Fame Monster, which missed the decade cutoff by only two months. Every other record Gaga’s released has at least a few filler tracks. But Born This Way’s highs are so dizzyingly high that it’s impossible to not recognize this album.

Imagine if Gaga kept Born This Way to only 10 tracks or so, cut out the fluff. It would be wall-to-wall early 10s pop masterpieces: “Marry The Night.” “Born This Way.” “You And I.” And of course, “The Edge Of Glory.” And that’s not even counting the many solid deep cuts sprinkled throughout — there’s a biker song about riding goddamn unicorns. How could you hate that?

Born This Way is still an exhausting listen in its full, but that’s partly because it’s so exhilarating that you couldn’t possibly have any energy left afterwards.

Best songs: “The Edge of Glory,” “You And I”

#36: To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar (2015)

Like Gaga, Kendrick Lamar is one of the decade’s great visionaries, but he also tends to overstuff his albums (with one exception, we’ll get to it later). And To Pimp a Butterfly definitely has some filler in its back half. But when Lamar is firing on all cylinders, the album reaches heights that 99% of albums couldn’t even dream of.

The album’s eight-song first half is a stunning masterwork of songs that have wildly different tones and emotions, yet still manage to piece together a running theme of the confusing, troubled black experience in modern America. And even the rougher second half has furious cuts like “Hood Politics” and “The Blacker The Berry.”

I have to give Lamar all the props for having a grand vision with To Pimp a Butterfly. The best albums require a sky-high vision. But, like with Born This Way, if it had been trimmed by three or four songs, it could’ve been top-10 of the decade.

Best songs: “The Blacker The Berry,” “King Kunta”

#35: 1989 by Taylor Swift (2014)

There was a lot of anger when Taylor Swift won the Album Of The Year Grammy for 1989 over To Pimp a Butterfly. But, at the risk of sounding like I have no taste — maybe the Grammys actually got it right?

I know Red is the fan and critic favorite of Swift’s albums, but I’ve always found it to be wildly inconsistent (despite some incredible high points). 1989, meanwhile, doesn’t waste a single second. It’s a perfect pop album, delivering the gargantuan hooks and leaving before it lingers around too long. It’s one of those records where nearly every track could’ve been a hit single. And even if it isn’t Swift’s peak lyrically, it’s certainly her peak in terms of mastering pop music craft and production.

Best songs: “Style,” “Blank Space”

#34: I like it when you sleep, because you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it by The 1975 (2016)

This might be the most frustrating album on the list. On I like it..., a massive leap of a sophomore album from The 1975, there are so many untouchable pop classics: “The Sound.” “Somebody Else.” “Love Me.” “UGH!” “A Change of Heart.” “She’s American.”

But there are also some mind-boggling choices, like adding two lengthy, pointless instrumental interludes and ending the record on a couple of painfully boring acoustic guitar numbers — not The 1975′s strong suit. But the ‘80s retro flair of I like it... is so charming, and its sheer scope so ambitious, that I still find myself returning to the record over and over again. It was the album where The 1975 proved they were more than just pretty British bad boys, but true Millennial pop icons.

Best songs: “Somebody Else,” “A Change of Heart”

#33: They Want My Soul by Spoon (2014)

They Want My Soul is an album by Spoon, the world’s most consistent rock band since 1998. So naturally, it’s good — all Spoon albums are.

But They Want My Soul is a perfect back-to-basics record, returning to that classic crisp, uber-catchy indie rock sound that Spoon perfected in the prior decade. There’s a few new production flourishes, but for the most part, the Austin band just deliver an updated version of the goods. Why fix something that ain’t broken?

Best songs: “Do You,” “Rainy Taxi”

#32: House of Balloons by The Weeknd (2011)

Before he started pumping out Michael Jackson pastiches, The Weekend was mysterious and depraved as hell. His introduction to the world, House of Balloons, is still just as haunting and impactful as it was in 2011. Abel Tesfaye’s helium vocals contrast masterfully with his dark lyrics and the nocturnal, grimy production.

House of Balloons is certainly an album that needs to be listened to at certain points of the day/year — listening to it at noon on a sunny July day is just wrong. Wait until it’s nighttime and when the temperature drops — Tesfaye is from Toronto, after all — and embrace the darkness.

Best songs: “House Of Balloons / Glass Table Girls,” “The Party & The After Party”

#31: Soft Sounds From Another Planet by Japanese Breakfast (2017)

Japanese Breakfast — AKA Eugene indie rocker Michelle Zauner — is Oregon’s finest musical project of the century (no, bands that moved to Portland don’t count; sorry Modest Mouse, The Shins and Sleater-Kinney). And Soft Sounds From Another Planet is both her high-water mark and proof that Zauner has the potential to become an all-time indie great.

The songs on Soft Sounds take the classic dream-pop/shoegaze sound and tweak it a bit, fusing it with alt-rock and sci-fi new wave. The album’s centerpiece, “Boyish,” sounds like a gorgeous prom ballad from the ‘50s. But Zauner herself is who brings Japanese Breakfast’s songs to light. Her deeply personal and emotional songwriting strikes a chord, and her flexible vocals cut through the cloudy production like a foglight.

Best songs: “12 Steps,” “The Body Is a Blade”

#30: Run The Jewels 2 by Run The Jewels (2014)

RTJ2 starts with Killer Mike screaming in the studio. That furious, profane and chaotic energy carries throughout RTJ2, an apocalyptic hip-hop masterpiece.

Killer Mike and El-P had no shortage of political targets to spray their anger at with, from corrupt, violent cops to an unjust capitalist system. Songs like “Early” and “Crown” are tragic, paranoid retellings of police brutality that would leave even Fox News viewers sympathetic. But the key to RTJ2 is that Mike and El are still clearly having a blast. When they rip apart their enemies, they do so with glee, and El’s energetic dystopian production was at its peak with this record.

Best songs: “Oh My Darling Don’t Cry,” “Early”

#29: IGOR by Tyler, The Creator (2019)

IGOR is one of those albums that creates its own sonic universe. The blend of fuzzed-out synths, aggro hip-hop and sweet retro soul that Tyler, The Creator cooked up on this album is truly one of a kind.

The former enfant terrible of rap put his raw emotions to use by telling the story of a brutal story of unrequited love. Tyler perfectly captured the rollercoaster of emotions of that scenario, from queasiness to vengeful anger to dejection to finally acceptance. Every second is packed with hooks, ear-grabbing production and the relatable narrative.

Flower Boy might have been the world’s introduction to a more thoughtful Tyler. But IGOR is when that potential was fully realized.

Best songs: “EARFQUAKE,” “A BOY IS A GUN*”

#28: Guppy by Charly Bliss (2017)

What if ‘90s rockers, instead of heroin, were addicted to Pixy Sticks? That’s what Guppy sounds like: Angsty lyrics and crunchy guitars, but all in the service of incredibly energetic and catchy pop-rock songs. Lead singer Eva Hendricks’ piercing, squeaky vocals just add to the rush of excitement each song has — it sounds like a literal child is singing sometimes.

Guppy isn’t going to be for everyone; not every person wants to down a king size bag of Sour Patch Kids in one sitting. But for a fun sugar rush with some legitimate heft, you can’t do much better than Charly Bliss’ electric debut album.

Best songs: “Westermarck,” “Scare U”

#27: Carrie & Lowell by Sufjan Stevens (2015)

On the exact opposite end of the emotional and energy spectrum from Guppy sits Carrie & Lowell. Sufjan Stevens’ acoustic masterpiece is about the death of his mother, and the complicated feelings that arose from that moment. It’s a haunting, dark collection of songs that grapple with Stevens’ relationships with his deceased mother and God.

Fair warning: Carrie & Lowell is insanely sad. If you’re not in the mood for some downer songs, you’ll likely switch it off. But sometimes, we all need a good tear-jerker. And if you squint at it right, it might be the greatest Christian album of all time (that’s a stretch, I realize...but I’m sticking with it).

Best songs: “The Only Thing,” “Fourth of July”

#26: Late Night Feelings by Mark Ronson (2019)

When was the last time that a producer-driven album was this good? Or more miraculously, this cohesive?

Late Night Feelings is exactly what you think it is based on the title: a collection of nocturnal songs about heartbreak. Ronson mostly abandoned his trademark ‘80s and ‘70s retro sounds for a more modern pop sound (for the most part), with each track perfect for a night drive. And he gathered a murderer’s row of female singers and songwriters to accompany him. He got megastars like Miley Cyrus and Camilla Cabello to deliver some of their best-ever work, and gave indie darlings Angel Olsen and Lykki Li massive platforms to work their magic. Late Night Feelings is a blueprint for any other pop producers who want their album to be more than just a grab bag of singles and filler.

Best songs: “True Blue,” “Find U Again”

#25: Bloom by Beach House (2012)

Picking the best Beach House album is like picking the best Skittles flavor — they’re pretty much all great, and there’s not too much difference between any of them. But pound for pound, Bloom is the best Beach House record in my book, delivering as much hazy dreampop goodness as one could handle. More than perhaps any other record the Baltimore duo released, it’s all-killer-no-filler; the perfect bridge between the band’s early guitar-driven sound and their more recent reliance on keyboards. Even the secret closing track is great! But the album’s strongest section is its first four songs, arguably all of which could be a top-10 Beach House song. “Myth” in particular is the moment when it became clear that the duo had established themselves as perhaps dreampop’s greatest act.

Best songs: “Myth,” “Other People”

#24: Take Care by Drake (2011)

Almost all of Drake’s albums are famously overlong and stuffed with filler. Take Care, the Canadian icon’s sad-boy masterpiece, only commits one of those sins: It’s a bit on the long side, but nearly all of the 19 tracks are great.

Take Care is probably best known for the tear-jerkings moments when Drake allowed himself to get aggressively mopey, such as the drunk-dial lament of “Marvins Room,” the mournful R&B of “Doing It Wrong.” But there’s plenty of fiery bangers amongst the tears — who hasn’t used “Lord Knows” or “HYFR” to get hyped? Take Care was the foundation that built Drake’s 2010s empire, and will likely be remembered as his ultimate classic record.

Best songs: “Marvins Room,” “Lord Knows”

#23: Currents by Tame Impala (2015)

If Take Care is the definitive hip-hop sad-boy album of the decade, Currents is certainly its indie rock counterpart. Aussie psych-rock wizard Kevin Parker took Tame Impala into synthier territory on this album, jamming as many '80s Casio riffs as possible next to his guitar grooves. Some Tame Impala fans might have decried the poppier sound on this album at the time, but I believe Currents will go down as Parker’s finest moment.

Best songs: “The Less I Know The Better,” “Let It Happen”

#22: Take Me Apart by Kelela (2017)

The perfect marriage of off-kilter, nocturnal indie pop and R&B, Take Me Apart is one of the top-tier night-driving albums of the decade. The production, led by indie heavyweights Ariel Reichstaid and Arca, along with Kelela herself, is masterful. It calls back to ‘80s and ‘90s R&B sounds while sounding like an alien transmission. And Kelela is the perfect vocalist for this style, managing to sound both sensual and robotic. Take Me Apart should’ve been a blockbuster hit, but for now, it stands as R&B’s most underrated album of the ‘10s.

Best songs: “LMK,” “Truth or Dare”

#21: Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming by M83 (2011)

You can’t casually listen to Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. From the second you press play on the majestic opener “Intro,” you have to buckle up for a breathtaking 73-minute experience. Calling M83′s bombastic synthpop/post-rock mix “cinematic” has become a cliché at this point, but there’s no better descriptor for it. Especially when Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming is nearly the length of a feature film. Standouts like “Midnight City,” “Wait,” and “Outro” haven’t lost their luster after years of overplay, and there’s plenty of deep cuts to discover with each listen. Even the frog-themed acid trip is enjoyable! It’s no wonder Anthony Gonzalez followed up this album with the goofy and low-stakes Junk — there was no way he’ll ever be able top the bombastic, nostalgic glory of Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming.

Best songs: “Midnight City,” “Intro”

#20: Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey (2019)

It’s about damn time that Lana Del Rey, one of the decade’s most iconic and influential figures, started getting some critical acclaim. And it makes sense that the rave reviews started arriving with Norman Fucking Rockwell! this summer. It’s easily her most singer-songwriter-y album, stuffed with clever turns of phrase and devastating lines. NFR is also Lana’s most somber album, with a focus on depression, romantic dissatisfaction and the death of the American Dream. And yet, it ends on a note of tentative hope, mirroring the disposition of many nervous Millennials and Gen Zers. It’s not my favorite album of hers, but undoubtedly, Rockwell is the moment when Lana established herself as a generational icon.

Best songs: “The greatest,” “Mariners Apartment Complex”

#19: Lemonade by Beyoncé (2016)

Some may prefer Beyoncé’s more R&B-focused self-titled surprise album, but I’m always going to point to Lemonade as her towering achievement. Beyoncé created a blueprint for a flawless breakup album here: There’s songs detailing her disbelief at Jay-Z’s affair, a group of fiery kiss-off anthems, some somber ballads about her grief, and finally, a triumphant moment of reconciliation. And throughout the story, Beyoncé masterfully samples a variety of genres, from reggae to hard rock to even country. And just when you think the album ends on a perfect note, Beyoncé tacked on her greatest-ever single, “Formation.” I’m always a sucker for albums that tell a complete story, and Lemonade was an instant classic in that format.

Best songs: “Formation,” “Don’t Hurt Yourself”

#18: Antisocialites by Alvvays (2017)

In contrast to Lemonade, Alvvays’ sophomore record Antisocialites only sticks with one musical style: ghostly, uber-catchy dream pop. It’s like Chromatics, but for the daytime. Good thing the Toronto group are masters of that sound.

Their early-R.E.M.-meets-Beach House vibe was never been better than on Antisocialites, where every song is a melancholy gem. None of the songs are overly ambitious, but that’s not a problem when Alvvays’ simplistic beauty is irresistible regardless.

Best songs: “In Undertow,” “Dreams Tonite”

#17: DAYTONA by Pusha-T (2018)

Virginia hip-hop legend Pusha-T somehow made sounding in his comfort zone sound like the coolest thing in the world with his magnum opus, DAYTONA. At only seven songs and 21 minutes, the record is a textbook example of a tight and focused classic. Push’s coke-dealer bars and Kanye West’s dusty, sample-heavy production fit perfectly. The album at times almost sounds like a nihilistic The College Dropout. Late-era Kanye is nobody’s favorite, but DAYTONA proved that he and Push are still one of hip-hop’s best teams.

Best songs: “If You Know You Know,” “Santeria”

#16: Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit by Courtney Barnett (2015)

Courtney Barnett cemented herself as one of the finest songwriters of her generation with her debut record, Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit. Barnett’s dry Aussie wit rarely feels too snarky, she just has a matter-of-fact view of the world that’s refreshing and unique. The album plays like a series of indie rock vignettes, with gloomier songs about coral reef destruction and imposter syndrome balanced out by goofy rock bangers like “Aqua Profunda!,” in which Barnett describes trying to impress a hot woman at the pool and accidentally passing out in the process. Sometimes is a truly fun, one-of-a-kind album that’s a perfect summer road trip listen.

Best songs: “Pedestrian At Best,” “Elevator Operator”

#15: A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships by The 1975 (2018)

As much as I adore The 1975′s three albums, all three of them unfortunately have a few fatal flaws. Their self-titled debut is consistent, but never transcendent. Their sophomore album is brilliant — except for the few painfully boring acoustic ballads and instrumental tracks. The Manchester group’s third effort is their closest to perfection, despite one or two pointless numbers (looking at you, “Surrounded By Heads and Bodies”). Matty Healy and co.’s thirst for genre experimentation is rampant here, with songs aping *inhales deeply* Oasis-esque arena rock bombast, wiry post-punk, tropical pop, gospel, cheesy ‘80s synthpop, melodramatic R&B, wonky electronica, and even jazz. And considering they nail all of those efforts, and threw in the generation-defining political anthem “Love It If We Made It” just for kicks...yeah, I’d say this album, and The 1975, are pretty damn incredible.

Best songs: “Love It If We Made It,” “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)”

#14: Clean by Soccer Mommy (2018)

Clean is on the opposite end of the ambition spectrum from The 1975 — it’s mostly standard indie rock and singer-songwriter folk. But what Soccer Mommy, AKA Nashville artist Sophie Allison, did within those narrow confines was magnificent. Allison spent 10 tracks detailing heartbreak, anger and jealousy with spare, relatable lyrics. And the lilting, gorgeous melodies she paired them with on tragically beautiful songs like “Scorpio Rising” and “Wildflowers” could reduce anyone to tears. Clean is both a display of raw potential and a memorable statement in its own right.

Best songs: “Scorpio Rising,” “Cool”

#13: Blonde by Frank Ocean (2016)

I could never get into Channel Orange (besides “Pyramids”... that song goes HARD), but Blonde hypnotized me immediately. Maybe I just prefer Frank Ocean’s weirder side, as Blonde has very few concessions to the radio. It’s an atmospheric trip through Ocean’s mind, and the closest R&B got to dreampop this decade. It doesn’t all work for me— “Futura Free” is a weak closer, and the interludes like “Facebook Story” are pointless — but when whe record on point, it’s the best work of Ocean’s career. If you don’t feel goosebumps when listening to the silky smooth “White Ferrari” or when the harmonies come out at the end of “Self Control,” I’m not sure what to tell you.

Best songs: “Ivy,” “Self Control”

#12: Strange Desire by Bleachers (2014)

Jack Antonoff is likely the decade’s greatest pop producer, producing career-defining masterpieces for multiple artists on this list. But he still left some of his best tunes for himself. Strange Desire, the debut album for his side band, Bleachers, is a gloriously bombastic ‘80s pop fever dream. It sounds like a John Hughes movie soundtrack infused with Pop Rocks.

Antonoff isn’t the world’s greatest singer, but his utter commitment to the cheese of his tunes makes up for that entirely. A more jaded person will probably listen to Strange Desire, shake their head, chuckle and move on. But as a proud cornball, I love this ridiculous, passionate pop album, random Yoko Ono cameos and all.

Best songs: “Rollercoaster,” “Like A River Runs”

#11: Night Time, My Time by Sky Ferreira (2013)

New wave and grunge shouldn’t go together. They’re diametrically opposed: one is bright and quirky, the other is morose and grimy. But in her debut album — and sadly, her only album so far — alt-pop genius Sky Ferreira melded the two genres seamlessly. Ferreira’s vocals and angsty attitude are a natural fit for alt-rock’s clanging guitars and angry lyrics, but she can also play the synthpop diva when needed. And on some of the albums’ best tracks, like “Heavy Metal Heart” and “Ain’t Your Right,” she comes off as a Seattle-friendly revamp of ‘80s stars like Pat Benatar or Joan Jett. It’s truly tragic that Ferreira’s second album has been in development hell, as Night Time, My Time is the kind of assured, rugged debut that signals the start of a brilliant career.

Best songs: “I Blame Myself,” “24 Hours”

#10: Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey (2014)

Lana Del Rey is certainly one of the 2010s’ defining artists. But which album is her best work? It depends on your taste: the critics seem to prefer the more subdued, songwriter-y Norman Fucking Rockwell! The album with the strongest singles and most striking style is certainly her polarizing debut, Born To Die. And for those who have difficulty sleeping, I’m sure the boring-as-hell Honeymoon helps with that. (There’s also Lust For Life...that one’s fine, I guess.)

But for me, Ultraviolence is still Lana’s pinnacle. From the album-opening psych-rock freak-out “Cruel World” to the tear-inducing melodramatic album closer “The Other Woman,” it’s her most complete album. Her tragic retro California vision is fully realized here, as it explores the dark side of her persona. Even when the music sounds triumphant, like on the James Bond-esque “Shades of Cool” or G-Funk-evoking “West Coast,” there’s a strong undercurrent of misery. And Lana’s haunting vocals sell even the most ridiculous lyrics here. Most artists would sound silly singing “Pretty When I Cry,” but Lana sells the hell out of it.

And if you still don’t get the Cult of Lana after hearing Ultraviolence — well, as she sings on “Brooklyn Baby,” “If you don’t like it, you can beat it.”

Best songs: “Shades of Cool,” “The Other Woman”

#9: Yeezus by Kanye West (2013)

Do you realize how difficult it is for an album to still sound abrasive, shocking and futuristic nearly seven years after its release? I remember a time when “Like A G6″ sounded like the future — now it’s just a goofy early-’10s hit. But I imagine Yeezus, Kanye West’s likely final masterpiece (sorry, Life of Pablo stans), will continue to freak out and delight future generations.

Working with fellow producing legends Rick Rubin (!) and Daft Punk (!!!), West decided to finally embrace how much of Middle America saw him with Yeezus. If crowd-pleasers like My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and Watch The Throne wouldn’t change some people’s minds, then fine — he was more than happy to play the villain.

Yeezus’ distorted, pitch-black production still sounds fantastic today, and is a perfect fit for the album’s bitter, furious attitude. But despite all of West’s tirades, he still found time to let his humor shine through, giving us scores of funny moments, including his greatest-ever one-liner: “HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANTS!!” And even if you missed the Old Kanye, there’s something here for you too: the soulfully profane “Bound 2,″ a crass love letter to Kim Kardashian with a gorgeous chipmunk soul sample.

This album is absolutely not for everybody, but its alienating and combustable nature is what makes Yeezus a masterwork to this day.

Best songs: “New Slaves,” “I Am A God”

#8: MY WOMAN by Angel Olsen (2016)

Angel Olsen, the greatest singer-songwriter of her generation, rarely sits still. Her three best albums all have a sharply different feel: 2014′s Burn Your Fire For No Witness is more traditional, sticking with fuzzy indie rock and hauntingly spare acoustic ballads. Her most recent album, All Mirrors, is the opposite — a maximalist, theatrical outpouring of emotions with a full orchestra on most tracks. But Olsen’s greatest work so far is the album she recorded between those two. If Burn Your Fire is a tad too minimalist, and All Mirrors is a bit too over-the-top, then MY WOMAN fits snugly between those two extremes.

But production is not what makes Olsen a genius, although she typically has good taste in it — it’s her songwriting. MY WOMAN has some of her sharpest pop-leaning tracks in the first half, like the fiery “Shut Up Kiss Me” and country slow-dance “Never Be Mine,” then some sprawling slow-burn ballads in the second half. In particular, “Sister” is a folk-rock rollercoaster that works perfectly for driving on a long trip alone, with the hushed opening gradually turning into an expansive, cinematic climax with an incredible guitar solo. And that song’s lyrics are a relatable document of self-disappointment and resentment.

From Courtney Barnett to Soccer Mommy, the late ‘10s have seen an explosion of insanely talented singer-songwriters. But none had the ambition, scope and operatic vocals of Olsen and MY WOMAN.

Best songs: “Shut Up Kiss Me,” “Sister”

#7: good kid, m.A.A.d. city by Kendrick Lamar (2012)

Arguably the greatest hip-hop concept album of all time, good kid, m.A.A.d. city is still Kendrick Lamar’s most consistent work to date. Lamar, who normally has a problem with overstuffing his records, only has one filler track here — the drowsy “Real” — and everything else either moves his narrative forward in a compelling manner, or it’s an unstoppable banger (or both!).

The storytelling techniques Lamar uses to tell his autobiographical coming-of-age tale in Compton, complete with drugs, gangs and lots of anxiety, are fascinating and clever. Lamar raps as though he’s in that moment, adding in lots of random, world-building details about his life and twisting his voice in various ways to fit the scene. Even the voicemail and audio recording clips aren’t a distraction, but a clever way to add context to his story without dragging things down.

With his elastic flow and the record’s eclectic production, Lamar is able to have the listener feel exactly how he felt in certain teenage moments. From the dreamlike, gauzy high points of “Money Trees” and “Poetic Justice” to the adrenaline-pumping chaos of “m.A.A.d. City” and “The Art of Peer Pressure” to the murky low points of “Swimming Pools” and “Sing About Me, I’m Dying Of Thirst,” he absolutely nails each and every specific emotion.

But unlike many concept albums, a majority of good kid’s songs still sound fantastic out of context. “Swimming Pools” may be a song about alcoholism disguised as a party anthem ... but it’s a pretty damn great party anthem. And the triumphant finale, the Dr. Dre-featuring “Compton,” doesn’t have anything to do with the narrative, but it’s still insanely fun.

With good kid, Lamar managed to have his audience eat their veggies while not even knowing it. It’s both incredibly ambitious, yet still restrained just enough to not feel too heavy. You couldn’t ask anything more of a major-label debut.

Best songs: “m.A.A.d city,” “The Art of Peer Pressure”

#6: Modern Vampires of the City by Vampire Weekend (2013)

Modern Vampires of the City bored me when I first heard it. I was so excited for its release, right before my high school graduation. I’d listened to Vampire Weekend’s debut album and their sophomore record, Contra, over and over again, and was thrilled for another collection of peppy, preppy indie rock. That’s not what Vampire Weekend gave us with Modern Vampires.

Their decision to take a more somber and mature tone with Modern Vampires turned out to be the smart one, as the album is a major grower. On first listen, its ballad-heavy tracklist doesn’t grab you, but Ezra Koenig’s contemplative lyrics and Rostam Batmanglij’s stunning production reveal themselves on repeat listens. From the swaying breakup anthem “Hannah Hunt,” to the baroque, vulnerable “Step,” this album is when the two were at their peak creative partnership.

Koenig was about to turn 30 during this album’s writing, and you can tell he felt mortality creeping up. The album’s most blunt song about death, “Don’t Lie,” uses iconography of headstones and ticking clocks to show Koenig’s nervousness on the subject. Faith plays a major thematic role as well. But despite these heavy topics, the band managed to deliver a gorgeous, eminently listenable experience. It’s the prime soundtrack for any anxious 20-something fully entering adulthood.

Best songs: “Hannah Hunt,” “Step”

#5: VEGA INTL. Night School by Neon Indian (2015)

Remember how I said that Tyler, The Creator’s IGOR created a unique world of its own? So does VEGA INTL. Night School. And its neon-drenched, warped ‘80s nostalgia trip is a world I could live in forever.

The magnum opus both of Neon Indian and the entire chillwave movement, VEGA is unlike anything else. Ideally, one listens to it while driving down Los Angeles streets after 9 p.m., when the roads are mostly empty but the heat and the light pollution still fill the air. Neon Indian mastermind Alan Palomo stuffed VEGA with melted synths and off-kilter grooves that sound like a 1986 Jazzercise tape stuck in a microwave. The lyrics don’t mean much, but they convey this winking retro sleaze that Prince mastered back in the day.

But all the quirky production choices in the world don’t make a great record unless you’ve got the tunes to back it up. And Palomo brought the tunes. Every single song here is insanely catchy or has a killer dance beat or both. It’s like Thriller for an alternative dystopic universe — every song could’ve been a single. In fact, the tropical haze of “Annie” predicted a wave of similar-sounding (and worse) pop hits in 2016 and 2017.

It’s a shame Palomo hasn’t been able to follow up VEGA with a new album since 2015. Perhaps he knew he couldn’t top this instant, subgenre-defining masterpiece.

Best songs: “Slumlord,” “Dear Skorpio Magazine”

#4: Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen (2015)

‘80s nostalgia was all the rage in the 2010s. And with apologies to Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Neon Indian, Daft Punk, The 1975 and many more who dabbled in Reagan-era throwbacks, that sound has a modern queen. And her name is Carly Rae Jepsen.

Emotion is such a perfect ‘80s pop album that it might be better than just about every actual ‘80s pop album (except Purple Rain and Thriller – I’m not that contrarian). Each song is deliriously catchy and stuffed with more hooks than should be legal. From the braying sax intro of the legendary album opener “Run Away With Me” to the glittering synths and slap bass of the energetic closer “When I Needed You,” every moment is euphoric.

Of course, we can’t talk about Emotion without discussing that technically, it flopped as far as sales go. Did Jepsen take too long to follow up the mega-smash “Call Me Maybe”? Did the label not promote it enough? Was the public just determined to define the British Columbia singer as a one-hit-wonder? Personally, I think it’s the latter — “Call Me Maybe” just sounds like the kind of goofy novelty song that comes as the singer’s only hit.

But Emotion is a defiant middle finger to anyone to who wants to define Jepsen by one song. At least a third of this album is better than “Call Me Maybe,” and the rest is on the same level. If you love synthpop, and you still haven’t heard Emotion, please do yourself a favor. Spend some time with the defining bubblegum pop album of the 21st century — I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Best songs: “Run Away With Me,” “Your Type”

#3: Melodrama by Lorde (2017)

On the surface, Melodrama and Emotion have a lot in common. Both Lorde and Carly Rae Jepsen took a long time to follow up their gargantuan, decade-defining hits with new albums. Both struggled to get a follow-up hit on their sophomore records (although at least Lorde had a second hit off her debut — remember “Team”?). And these two sophomore records happen to be the best two pop albums of the decade.

But that’s where the similarities end. Just like how “Royals” is an entirely different animal than “Call Me Maybe,” Melodrama is brilliant for very different reasons than Emotion.

In some ways, it makes sense that Melodrama didn’t pump out any hit singles. It’s a whispery, nocturnal concept album that doesn’t sound anything like 2017′s hits. Even the catchier tunes, like “Homemade Dynamite” or “Perfect Places,” have an undercurrent of nihilistic hopelessness to it, and not in the trendy “rich and sad” style that made Lil Uzi Vert and Post Malone stars. It’s more “holy shit, we’re coming of age while the world is burning down and we can’t do a thing about it.”

Earlier, I said Angel Olsen was the best songwriter of the decade. That’s still true, but Lorde is right behind her. Her lyrics are rich with detail and emotional resonance on Melodrama, relatably describing both a breakup and the subsequent partying in an unsuccessful attempt to forget about that breakup. “Liability” might be the decade’s most heartbreaking ballad — and this decade included an entire album about Sufjan Stevens’ dead mom.

“Royals” and Lorde’s debut album, Pure Heroine, showed a lot of promise. But it’s unfortunately all too common for budding pop artists to not meet those expectations. But with Melodrama, Lorde shattered the sky-high expectations she delivered for herself. We thought she could be another solid pop star. It turns out she’s actually the first Gen Z generational icon, and deservedly so.

Best songs: “Green Light,” “Liability”

#2: Teens of Denial by Car Seat Headrest (2016)

Like many Millennials and Gen Zers, I occasionally struggle with depression and anxiety. And although I can’t entirely relate to every moment on the album, there wasn’t a record this decade that encapsulated those emotions better than Teens of Denial, the decade’s greatest indie rock album.

Car Seat Headrest frontman/songwriter Will Toledo’s lyrics are painfully personal and embarrassing. It’s not entirely clear if these lyrics are based on his experiences or if he’s just an insightful storyteller, but Teens of Denial is powerful either way. The album’s loose narrative is about a guy who is not only depressed, but is surrounded by a world that seemingly heightens his depression at every step.

This is most bluntly shown on the roaring, angsty opening track “Fill In The Blank” — where the chorus is literally someone telling him, “You have no right to be depressed/you haven’t tried hard enough to like it” — as well as the snarky faux-campfire singalong “Drugs With Friends,” where a bad trip results in the protagonist realizing he’s terrified of his peers and then he imagines Jesus himself casting shame upon him. But half the time, the protagonist brings his problems upon himself, most notably with getting a DUI in the epic, U2-meets-Nirvana arena-grunge anthem “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales.”

Much of the record is Toledo (or his character) wallowing in sadness, which admittedly doesn’t sound like a great time. But like Toledo’s predecessor in Seattle angsty rock, Kurt Cobain, these songs of profound sadness are told via some incredibly catchy, singable (and moshable!) tunes. And Toledo’s vocals are perfect for this style of music, as his voice is both off-kilter and shredded, but still genuinely melodic when the song requires it.

Teens of Denial is an unforgettable experience, something that has to be listened to from start to finish. You might enjoy it more if you find its themes relatable, but the songwriting and ‘90s retro rock sounds are so incredible that almost anyone could find it irresistible if they’re willing to get angsty for an hour.

Best songs: “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales,” “Destroyed By Hippie Powers”

#1: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West (2010)

The first words sung in My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy are, “Can we get much higher?” The answer is no. This album is the peak not only of Kanye West’s confusing career; not only of the decade; but of the entire genre of hip-hop.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is one of those all-time classic untouchable albums that will soon be required listening for any budding music nerd, up there with Sgt. Pepper, Born To Run, Purple Rain, OK Computer and The Blueprint. To name it as my favorite album of the 2010s is a painfully obvious, and possibly even dull pick. Pitchfork, which gave the album an insanely rare 10/10 upon release, had it at #2 on their decade-end list — possibly to be cheeky, possibly as retribution for West’s recent heinous actions.

Kanye West is an extremely flawed man, as we all know. I don’t need to recap his wrongdoings. But in some ways, his numerous mistakes just make Dark Twisted Fantasy even more resonant today. The album is partly about Kanye being a deeply troubled person, being aware of that, and yet being unable to change that no matter how hard he tries. He didn’t embrace his megalomaniacal tendencies like on Yeezus, but instead the album feels like an anguished cry for help. The three-minute autotune outro to the album’s breathtaking centerpiece, “Runaway,” literally sounds like that. And even the brag-rap bangers, like “Monster,” “So Appalled” and “Hell of a Life” have a menace to them.

Dark Twisted Fantasy is West at the full extent of his powers. Every single one of his strengths is amplified here. His lyrics, always a little corny and random, are entertainingly and quotably so. He brought out magical performances from guest stars, from Rick Ross’ smooth-as-hell verse on “Devil In A New Dress” to Nicki Minaj’s unhinged, career-best performance on “Monster.” There’s never been better production on a hip-hop album — impressive, considering the record jumps from style to style frequently.

But most importantly, Dark Twisted Fantasy is insanely ambitious. West had a vision, he exiled himself to Hawaii with his team, and he put his nose to the grindstone. It was when his music was the only thing he cared about — not his shoes, not the Kardashians, not Donald Trump. And that dedication was rewarded with a true masterpiece. West will never get any higher than this. And arguably, nor will music in the 21st century.

Best songs: “Runaway,” “Gorgeous”

#best albums of 2010s #rock #hip hop #pop #indie

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susannaprouse · 5 years

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Fifty Three - Iquitos

After a restless night we both were awake very early so took the opportunity to get up and get to our destination for the morning early. Our activity for the day was something I'd been looking forward to for so long and was one of the major factors of us going to the Amazon from Iquitos. The place was called Isla de Los Monos and was a rescue and rehabilitation centre for monkeys.

As we'd trialled the route before (when we were trying to work out how to get there) we knew exactly where to go. We walked through the busy fruit market to the rickety dock area full of planks of wood precariously nailed together to form platforms. Entering these docks was like going into a film where we were definitely 'not from around these parts'. People were going around their daily business and it felt like a world away from what we knew.

We found the boats and luckily there were two spare seats on one so we didn't have to wait and immediately we were off. The boat was noisy and crammed with people. I tried not to think about how dangerous it was and instead enjoyed the view of the passing land and fishing boats.

After around 20 minutes the boat stopped and a couple got off. I saw a sign proclaiming 'Isla de Los Monos' and we quickly struggled through people to get to the front, lucky for us as the boat was about to head off to whatever the next destination was.

On land we found the very muddy trail to the centre and were glad we'd decided to wear our jungle gear, watching another couple struggle with their trainers. Five minutes in we quickly got on our long sleeve tops as we were being bitten by mosquitos. We couldn't put on any repellent or sun cream as it's toxic to the monkeys so we came prepared.

After twenty minutes of walking we came to an open area with some wooden structures. Following the signs instructions we walked to the purple hut and were met by a man who owned the centre. While he was explaining what the centre does and the monkeys they had I could make out something moving by his feet. I got excited thinking it might be a dog but when I moved closer I saw a monkey!!! I bent down and saw a tiny Saki monkey playing and being completely adorable. The man explained how when she arrived her coxis was broken and she had a bullet in her. Apparently people hunt Saki monkeys to make feather dusters from their bushy tails. I will never get over how cruel and desperate humans can be.

I didn't want to leave the Saki monkey but soon our guide arrived and we had to follow him. We went outside, walked to some trees and immediately we could see black bodies above and around us. Little wooly monkeys scampered in the trees, playing with each other and coming down for food on the feeding platform. It was completely amazing and I wanted to cry. Our guide told us how all the monkeys could roam wherever they wanted on the 40 hectare island. They'd all been rescued from the pet or meat trade and were young. When they got to around four years old they'd be taken somewhere without human contact so they could then release them.

The monkeys came down for food and weren't phased by us at all. They occasionally reached out a hand to us to touch us which was completely magical. Their fur was so soft and wooly (funny that!). They were unbelievably cute, so much like a child's drawing of a monkey.

After a while another couple joined us and while they did another breed of monkey came down. A tiny red baby howler monkey that was so timid and so cute. Our guide pointed over in the distance and said there was another. But this one was on the back of one of the other young wooly monkeys as it walked over to us. The wooly monkey had adopted the baby howler monkey and it made my heart swell, it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen!!!

As the monkeys got more comfortable with us they started to use us as climbing frames to jump onto trees or play fight together. Soon Mike had a wooly monkey on him and I had the timid baby howler monkey wrapped around me, watching the woolys from a safe distance. I couldn't believe it was happening and how the little monkeys trusted us and wanted to be with us already. It was the most amazing thing ever.

Although I didn't want to leave the troop of monkeys our guide led us through to the jungle trail. While we were walking some of the wooly monkeys followed us and before we knew it Mike had one on his head while walking. The guide told us because they didn't have mothers they needed love and also liked to hitch a ride. The monkey loved Mike and did not want to get off (at one point I was so jealous Mike said I could have a turn holding it but it clung onto Mike so we let it be). We walked along the trail like this with the baby monkey grabbing leaves to eat on the way.

It wasn't long before another wooly monkey had jumped onto me and was sat on my shoulders like a toddler. The weight of the monkey and the way it's tail wrapped around my arm like another hand was so unbelievably lovely I was again close to tears. So there we were walking through the forest with our new monkey babies. As we walked we saw other monkeys, a mix of wild and rescued that weren't as clingy as the woolys. We saw white crested marmosets, a lonely tiki that was abandoned by its troop and the tiniest of all the primates, pygmy marmosets - the size of my palms (which are tiny enough!).

As we walked my wooly monkey started to lick my face. I asked our guide if it was OK and he said she's just licking the salt. Well she was in for a feast with my sweaty head. While others might be disgusted with this I absolutely loved it. I could feel her tiny warm breath as she licked, smelling a bit like green tea.

We continued to walk to the end of the trail but before we got there my little monkey gestured to the floor. I assumed she wanted a leaf as she had been doing this the whole walk but I looked down to see a big snails shell on the forest floor. I bent down and she reached out to pick it up. I soon realised the shell was full of water and she wanted to drink it! She proceeded to do this pouring the water all over my head while trying.

Feeling like one of the troop we walked over to some more monkeys, a bigger Saki monkey, little tamarins and another red tiki. The woolys and the tiki took it in turns to climb onto our shoulders until Mike and I had both felt the little red tiki around our shoulders like a scarf. It was completely amazing to see all these breeds together and so close. I can't describe how happy I was.

Finally our walk came to an end and we had to let the monkeys go. Safe to say I really didn't want to. I kept saying to Mike, can't we stay? Do you think we can pay more and hang out with the woolys some more? Luckily I had the baby Saki monkey in the hut to take my mind off that fact that we had to leave. I consoled myself with the fact that we'd had this most amazing experience and we can't stay longer as it wouldn't be good for the monkeys.

The whole morning was maybe my best morning ever. I've always loved animals and this felt like a combination of that deep seated love and my maternal instincts melding together to make one giant emotion. It's amazing I didn't explode. It's kind of pathetic but I can't believe how much I loved those baby monkeys and how much I felt like I needed to care for them. Plus they were so soft.

Walking back to the boat I felt an absolute mix of emotions - complete euphoria at having seen and held the monkeys, complete sadness at having to leave them and an overwhelming anger at the greedy humans that had harmed them. I could see they were being well looked after so that was the only consolation.

The boat ride back went quickly and we got back to the hostel, showered and sorted out our very muddy clothes. After we went out for lunch, repeatedly looking at our photos and videos of the morning not quite believing how lucky we were.

We spent the afternoon relaxing at the hostel before heading back out for dinner. That night we went to a local place that served kebabs. When we arrived we were shown a fridge full of different kebabs that we could choose from. We opted for some fish, stuffed peppers, potato and cheese with pineapple. Each one came with vegetables and a salad and were delicious!

To finish off one of my best days of the whole trip we went to the ice cream place and got ice cream smothered in chocolate sauce. What a day!

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carasueachterberg · 7 years

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Ninety-five dogs later…..I’ve finally found the one.

It’s not that I haven’t loved the ninety-four that came before him, but this guy seems to belong here. As my husband would say, “He ticks all the boxes.”

He’s a boy.

He’s got very short hair.

He’s a Catahoula (swoon).

He’s very mellow and unflappable.

He’s not gonna be huge.

He’s friendly, but not in-your-face.

He’s not a whiner. He’s happy for my attention, but doesn’t demand it.

He’s happy to play with siblings, but also happy to play with his toys.

Maybe it’s the fact that he’s grown up with five sisters, but this boy knows how to roll with it. When the girls get in a big battle, tussling over a toy or just barking at each other in one of their full-on screaming frenzies, he will retreat to the crate and just watch, as if he’s saying, “I’ll just stay in here until you all work that out.”

But more than all that—I just looked at him and knew. (and it wasn’t the crystal blue eyes – which are amazing.)

It’s been three years since my Lucy died. The memory just popped up on Facebook recently to remind me. Lucy was with me for 17 years. She helped raise my kids, train for a marathon, and was a well-mannered and devoted best friend.

A few months after she died, I started visiting shelters, looking around. Lots of nice dogs, but none that seemed to fill the hole that Lucy left.

Six months after she passed I started fostering, thinking maybe I’d find my dog that way. I found lots of dogs and they gave me so much love and happiness, but whenever I thought about keeping one I had a million excuses. Mostly I didn’t think I could keep fostering if I foster-failed.

So, I let dog after dog go, even when it hurt terribly. And I’ve been rewarded by getting many updates on my Facebook group, through this blog, by email, and even a few in person. My dogs are all doing well. Only three have ever been returned and they all landed in even better homes. I keep track of and care about each and every one.

But this pup.

He’s my pup.

And because of his personality, I think he’s gonna do great as my foster-fur assistant. He’ll help welcome new dogs and balance out the general unwelcome of Gracie. He can play with foster pups without overwhelming them or demanding all my attention.

We’ve decided to name him Frankie (Franklin when he misbehaves and maybe, just Frank, when he’s grown) since he’s got the same gorgeous eyes as Ole Blue Eyes. Plus, we already have a bed with his name on it!

His siblings are finding their forever families one by one. And what lucky families these are to be adopting such a fun bunch. To a pup, they are people oriented and loving.

Chili actually wraps her arms around your neck when you pick her up and snuggles her head under chin in what really feels like a hug.

And Habanero, my little firecracker, climbs the fence like a monkey and whines for my attention, but once you pick her up, she melts in your arms and is happy to be cradled like a baby.

Sweet Bell, who is one of the most energetic of the pups, craves my attention. She will use her long legs to leap over the other pups to get to me. And she loves to play chase with the other pups, grabbing toys and racing around the pen hoping they will chase her.

Cayenne is the class clown- always in the midst of everything. She loves to play and stirs up the crowd on a regular basis. But, like her siblings, she is putty in my arms, happy to be held. When a group of girl scouts visited recently, she curled up in one girl’s lap and went to sleep happy to have a human devoted to her.

Jalapeno is top dog, but she doesn’t abuse that ranking except at mealtimes, which is quite evident if you pick her up. She’s easily got a pound on most of the other pups. She is an even-tempered pup and quite independent. Happy on her own playing and happy playing with others.

These pups have had the privilege of staying together as a litter longer than most pups and I think it’s bonded them but also made them appreciate individual attention. They are ready to test their wings and begin their forevers with families of their own. Being without each other may feel a bit odd for them at first, but I am certain they are ready to be on their own. Frankie and I will say good-bye to most of them this weekend, and then our own adventure begins!

Gala Update: It’s been suggested that I try to write more about the positive qualities of Gala instead of only her adventures. There are so many times a day when Gala makes me smile, many more than when she makes me scold her.

For instance, every morning on our run we come to a field that edges the road with a weed-infested culvert. In that culvert are thousands of crickets. As we make our way beside the field, Gala will periodically pounce on the crickets, like a cat or a puppy with both paws extended and a big smile on her face. The crickets magically disappear right out from under her and she wiggles her body and wags her tail excitedly only to pounce again a few feet later. I’ve stopped trying to run along this little stretch because it’s more fun to watch Gala try to catch crickets.

If you’re local to New Freedom, please stop by and visit me at the OPH booth at the New Freedom Fest on Saturday from 10-4. We’ll be across for the caboose, just down the sidewalk from The Hodel. We’ll have a few adoptable dogs, plus we’re raffling off a dog cabana stuffed with goodies and selling Halloween costumes for a donation. We’ll also have some OPH gear and magnets. All the proceeds go to help save more dogs. There’s a pet parade at 2pm that’s always a lot of fun, too. Last year one of our own OPH pups (one of my previous fosters!) won an award.

Thanks for reading!

If you’d like to know more about OPH or how you can foster, volunteer, donate or adopt, visit OPHRescue.org.

If you’d like to know more about my writing, books, and blogs, visit CaraWrites.com.

Blessings,

Cara

Foster Fail on Number 95??? #fosterfail #rescuefosteradopt #blueeyedboy Ninety-five dogs later…..I’ve finally found the one. It’s not that I haven’t loved the ninety-four that came before him, but this guy seems to belong here.

#adoptdontshop #dogrescue #dogs #fosterdogs #fosterfail #puppies

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starblazerm31 · 5 years

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(inspired by your “main 6 as retail employees” post) the courtiers as shitty retail customers?

8D GAH! YES! *holds up The Hellraiser Box of Retail* I HAVE SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU!!!

Now…as a note…everything I write here I have seen/happened to me personally. EVERYTHING. These are not your typical “Karen” stories. Content warnings: Bodily fluids (blood, vomit, feces, etc.). Blatant rudeness. Flagrant stupidity. THEFT. Disturbing malevolent behavior. Sexual assault.

The Courtiers As Shitty Retail Customers (cont. of Main 6 as Retail Workers)

Valdemar

That customer who leaves unexplained blood spatters ALL OVER the single bathroom. They didn’t seem injured when they went in…but after they came out, everyone swears they committed a murder in there. Poor Julian got pegged to clean it up since he’s the one certified in hazardous spills and Muriel was off that day.

The customer who stares at everyone in a really uncomfortable way. Like…are they planning on slitting someone’s throat right here in the store? Please don’t…the employees really don’t want to have to deal with the inquiry and paperwork.

The customer who will grab a worker and just…occupy them. Talking. Oddly. About anything and yet absolutely nothing. But still dropping the most uncomfortable TMI. One time, they grabbed Asra and just HAD to go into explicit detail about how they skin an animal after hunting. And how much they love Satan.

Gets really offended when an employee gets too close. "Come any closer and I’ll stab you.“ Julian: "Do it. Five cameras can see you RIGHT. NOW.”

*flashes a knife at Muriel* Muriel: "My dick is bigger.“

Volta

That customer who grabs food off of the shelf, eats it, then deposits the empty (or half-empty) wrapper/bottle on another shelf in another part of the store.

When free snacks are offered to customers, she proceeds to stuff her face while spilling the snacks all over the store. She leaves a trail of chips/popcorn wherever she walks.

Somehow managed to knock down an entire shelf of gallon jugs of water. The water jugs all exploded on the floor. It looked like a Noah’s Ark situation.

Walked by Muriel suddenly vomited onto the floor.

Will unfold and an entire shelf of shirts (about an hour’s worth of work) just to be a bitch.

Tried to steal a “Try Me” stick of deodorant that literally hundreds of people had touched. Saw that she was being watched by Muriel, so she proceeded to look Muriel right in the eye and apply the deodorant. Muriel: "…I hope she gets sick.“

*grabs Nadia* "I think that worker is spying on me!” *points to Julian* "He keeps following me around!“ Julian is stocking shelves, not even paying attention to her. "And his body odor is really offensive!” *Nadia looks to her dubiously* "I’m sorry about that. Here, let me fix it.“ *walks over to Julian, explains the situation, and then gets on the radio* "Watch the customer in accessories, they are behaving strangely.” Thirty minutes later, Volta is being escorted out by police for theft. Julian: "Body odor! *huffs* Enjoy the lockup BO you’re gonna have tomorrow, bitch.“

Vlastomil

Brings in Wiggler. "He’s my emotional support worm!”

Wiggler pees on the floor. Is asked to take his pet out of the store. Proceeds to scream about how the store targets the mentally ill. (Muriel has to go to the back to rage in private with Asra)

Asks about products, and then proceeds to criticize the store for even carrying such "ridiculous” items.

“I can’t see myself spending $3 on THAT.”

To Asra: "I’m going to need your employee discount.“ Asra: "So…I can move in with you tonight?” Vlastomil: "What?“ Asra: "Well, if I give you my discount, I will be promptly fired. I have a snake to take care of. If I lose my job, I lose my apartment and my ability to feed myself and my snake. Since YOU would be responsible for my getting fired, I’d expect YOU to take care of me and my snake afterward. So…I can move in with you tonight?” Vlastomil: "…nevermind.“

“The handsome manager said I could get this item with a 10% discount because it’s not the brand I’m wanting.” Julian: "Lucio isn’t here today.“ Vlastomil: "He said it the other day.” Julian: "He has to actually be here and tell me that himself, sorry. He’ll be here tomorrow, try again then.“

Went into the bathroom. A few minutes later, came out and grabbed Muriel and said that the bathroom needed to be cleaned. Muriel looked inside and was APPALLED by the sight of feces smeared EVERYWHERE. The floor, all of the stall doors, the trash can, the sinks, the toilets. Vlastomil: "Yeah, I had an accident.” Muriel did not hide his disgust and went to get the cleaning cart. Threatened to quit that night. Muriel: "This is the kind of stuff DOCTORS AND NURSES deal with! They get paid at least $20 an hour! I make MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE!!!“

Vulgora

The customer that snaps at every single employee that speaks to them.

“No one likes (sports team)! Why the hell do you even carry merch for this shitty team?!” (because there are more fans of that sports team than of the team that THEY like in that particular area)

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S A PENALTY FOR LETTING MY LAYAWAY EXPIRE?! I WANT MY FULL REFUND!!!”

“RETURN THIS ITEM!” Portia: “We don’t carry this item.” Vulgora: "YES YOU DO, I BOUGHT IT HERE!!“ Portia: "I’m sorry, but this item is exclusive to (different store).” Vulgora: "YOU’RE AN IDIOT! LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!“ Nadia proceeds to tell them the EXACT. SAME. THING. Vulgora: "YOU’RE ALL MORONS! I’M CALLING CORPORATE!”

“How do I install a trailer hitch?” Julian: "I’m sorry, I don’t know.“ Vulgora: "Well they just need to employ a trained monkey here!” Julian: "We ARE accepting applications, you know.“

“Is this shit real gold?” Portia: "Yes, 18k.“ Vulgora: "How much is it?” Portia: *looks* ”$250.“ Vulgora: "What gold do you have for $20?” Portia: "Nothing.“

“I WILL CLIMB OVER THIS DESK AND MESS YOU UP!” Portia: *points to the camera aimed directly at them* "Do it. I’ll see you in court.“

They lost their place in line because they had to go and look at something. When the person behind them stepped up to the register and started to get their items rung up, they dashed back in front of the person and grabbed Portia’s arm to stop her from ringing up the other person’s items. Drew back in shock and horror when Portia immediately balled up her fist and held it threateningly at them. Nadia was standing right there next to Portia. Nadia: "You need to leave. Right now.” After they left, Nadia looked to Portia and said: “You wouldn’t have gotten in trouble if you’d hit them, you know.” Portia: "No one grabs me. No one.“

"YOU’RE HIDING ALL OF THE STORE EXCLUSIVE POP FIGURES IN THE BACK SO YOU IDIOTS CAN BUY THEM ALL AND SELL THEM ON EBAY!!” Julian: "I’m sorry, but you’re incorrect. That Pop figure is $8, and no one here wants to lose their job over an $8 figure. Plus…the figure you’re wanting isn’t at this store anyway.“ Vulgora: "AND WHY NOT?!” Julian: "…Because it’s sold online only.“ *shows them the online info that clearly states "online only”*

Valerius

The customer who expects an employee to follow them around with a basket while they shop.

“Is this organic?” Julian: "Yes, sir, it is.“ Valerius: "I don’t believe you. Places like this can’t possibly carry organic items.”

Left an ENTIRE. PILE. of tried-on clothes in the dressing room when the limit on items was 4.

Opened at least 20 different tubes of lipstick and swiped them on his arm. Put them all back on the shelf. Asra could be heard swearing as he had to pull each lipstick off of the shelf and dispose of them since they were no longer sanitary and could not be sold. "Couldn’t he just steal? It would have been so much easier…“

Comes into the store drunk off his ass and acts belligerent to everyone he sees. Gets so OFFENDED when asked to leave.

"Are these diamonds real?” Asra: "They are lab-grown.“ Valerius: "So they aren’t real.” Asra: "They are lab-grown, so they are synthetic diamonds.“ Valerius: "So they aren’t real.” Asra: *sighs* “They wouldn’t be sold for just $50 if they were."

Starts fights with other customers because he thinks "They’re weird.”

The customer who accosts other customers, thinking they work there. Even though they AREN’T. WEARING. A. UNIFORM.

Stuffs a pile of clothes he decided he doesn’t want behind the tampons.

Demands that the single bathroom be unlocked, even though the single bathroom being locked means that it’s occupied.

“How do these pants make my package look?” Julian: "…I’m not going to look, sir. But they make your calves look amazing.“

Walked by Asra and pinched his ass. Looked so shocked when Asra whirled around and yelled at him. Valerius: "Hey, I thought you would like that!” Asra: "I CLEARLY DID NOT! That is called SEXUAL ASSAULT!!! YOU GO TO JAIL FOR THAT!!!“

#the arcana headcannons #the arcana headcanons #arcana headcanons #starblazerm31 headcanons #tales from the trenches #i wish a bitch would #i may have gone too far with this #i proceeded to use proceeded to a lot #yeah my dick is bigger and I'm female

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