#please suggest me nice outfits for her in BG3 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rhube · 9 months

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Baldur's Gate 3 Companions according to my friend who hasn't played the game

I asked @ultharkitty to tell me what she knew and thought about each of the BG3 companions, based solely on what I have told her and images (which she was Googling before I could find them for her).

Obviously I have told her more about some characters than others ;D Order determined by who she remembered, then prompts from me, but saving Astarion for last as I have told her the most about him.

Contains some spoilers for Act 1.

The Hot Lady with the Horns (AKA Karlach)

My first choice for romancing, because she liked you when you were heroic and she was very straightforward about what she wanted. Excellent Outfit. She’s got an infernal engine as a heart, or possibly her lungs! Her outfit is made of belts! 12/10 for good LARP kit. Beware the ears, she’ll poke your eye out – oh, she has a tail! She does look like she could crush a man’s head between her thighs.

Is one of them called Gale? (AKA Gale)

I remember him – he’s a dick*. He looks like a douche canoe – I do not like his mullet. 8/10 for LARP – outfit is suitably LARPy. He does have a cool robe with a belt on. I don’t know – I don’t dig this guy. I remember he’s romanceable, but I don’t know why you’d want to. Oooh, I found a photo of him without any clothes on! Eh - he’s too buff. Someone needs to give him a sandwich and a glass of water. He’s the wizard! Yeah, I have no opinions about him.

*Please don't hate me Gale fans - this did not come from me! I nearly romanced him!

The dog! (AKA Scratch)

The dog! Is really important. Because you can play ball with the dog and pet the dog. And the dog’s owner fucking died. Dead on the floor. The dog is cute and has a very hopeful face. The fact that you can pet the dog is a big bonus for the game.

Owlbear Cub

10/10. No notes. Except the fact that it lost its mum – like OMG, that’s sad. I like that it grows up to be big.

Wyll

He seemed cool. He seemed nice. Ooh does he have wings? [I explained that no, not so far anyway.] 10/10 for LARP – outfit is very very nice. [I don't know which outfit she saw him in.] He looks like the kind of person who could mind your chocolate and he wouldn’t eat it. He looks like the owl bear cub and the dog would be safe with them. He’s got a scar on his face and I bet he got it defending kittens! Oooh, is he the guy wanted the necromancy book [I explained that no, that was Gale, and Wyll wanted us to destroy it.] Now that I know that I’m mildly disappointed in him, and a little less disappointed in Gale.

Lae'zel

Oh, her! Oh yeah! She seems cool. Another one whose ears would poke your eye out. Armour has paladin vibes. 6/10 on LARP – too shiny. Pure of heart and stabby of blade. She should hook up with the first chick and they should have fun, and romance and be gal pals. Her underwear is structurally impressive – I think I’ve seen stuff like that in sex shops! Kind of like a bra-harness, a braness, if you will. She also needs to hydrate – everybody needs to hydrate.

Shadowheart

She looks like chief judge Hershey. For the black hair. 7/10 for LARP – pretty cool, pretty LARPy. It’s got that cool, multilayered skirt over leggings, that you could hide a million pockets in – that’s very cool. Name suggests she understood the assignment at character gen.

Astarion

He wrote on his underpants, which to me is a bit of a red flag. What I know about him is he was bitten by a vampire but isn’t a full vampire yet, because he can apparently go out in the sun. He has aesthetically pleasing, romantic era white hair, and he has some kind of parasite in his brain, but it doesn’t stop him being hot. He’s easily impressed by things that you shouldn’t be easily impressed by. Like he’s impressed when you intimidate people. (The venn diagram between things I would enjoy in fiction and people I would like in real life only mildly intersects.) He’s like a walking warning sign. He wanted the necromancy book and I think we should give it to him. He’s clearly got issues. Likes taking his shirt off. He just kind of looks a little bit lost. Like 90% angst, ten percent hairstyle. The fangs get a thumbs up. He looks hotter in his fanart. 9/10 for LARP – I do enjoy his outfit when dressed, but he doesn’t seem to keep it on very much from what I’ve seen [In Astarion's defence, I sent Ultharkitty many screenshots from the sex scene.] He has scars on his back! Which gives him a plus 12 angst modifier, which is useful in combat scenes somehow. I’m getting very strong disaster vibes from this individual. Looking at all the pictures of him on Google image search – hurr hurr I found one in his pants – he’s Jaskier level slutty.

I mean, she is not wrong about Astarion.

Overall, despite some confusion between Gale and Wyll, I don't think this is a million miles off...

(Blame any transcription errors on me.)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #astarion #gale #karlach #owlbear cub #scratch #the dog #lae'zel #shadowheart #wyll #spoilers

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