#please excuse the minecraft stickers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dysphoriccanada · 4 months

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things kids have said at my job that gives me baby fever and also an immeasurable amount of laughter

a list by me: tired retailer worker in a small town paint store

kid: mama look this is only 2.99 i can afford that!

parent: did you count tax too?

kid: excuse me whats the tax on this?

me: 39 cents

kid: oh dear. i only have 15

parent: if you only have 15 cents how were you going to pay for the rest of it?

kid: i would have worked something out

kid (moms a regular): I BROUGHT YOU HEART COOKIES BECAUSE ITS LOVEY MONTH

me: thank you!! and its also groundhog month!!

kid: THE GROUNDHOG IS A LIAR AND DOESNT DESERVE A COOKIE SHAPE

me: okay!!! thank you for the heart cookie!!

kid: ITS BROKEN BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW YOURE NOT ACTUALLY BROKEN HEARTED

me: okay!!!!

parent: please dont be a psychopath in public thats an at-home-emotion remember?

kid: monkey see monkey do

parent: okay fair

kid: do you have minecraft wallpaper or wall stickers?

me: i can probably order you some. any other games you play?

kid: yeah. you could say im a bit of a gamer

me: hell yeah dude

[as im helping a customer pick between some greys and beiges]

kid: mom i cant. i cant live in a gray house. please can we have some colour

parent: we can have some yeah. we could do some soft blues or green

kid: no mom COLOUR

parent: okay well what do you want?

kid: (slapping down the brightest pink) KITCHEN

parent: um. hm. well we can take it home and look at it in our lighting

kid: (whispering to me) that means no…. (loudly) I GUESS ILL JUST SUFFER THEN

and thats just from this week

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