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movementsofmylife · 2 years

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bad buddy ep 11 (rewatch)

how many times does pran pull out his entire (extremely intense) set of markers and not use them:

total so far: //// /

this episode just leaves me in tatters, in a very different way to ep 10.

this episode is so fucking sad. like, in the really accurate way sadness like this shows up. where of course they go fishing, flirt, hang out, smile, laugh, but the baseline emotion for this episode is this sadness. it's this kind of exhaustion and the knowledge that somethings hanging over their heads.

its the kind of sadness that somethings over and choosing not to look at it can push it away for a bit, but the ending still permeates the episode.

there's so much sky in this episode. they're really shown to be together in spaces that overtake them. but also together in the world in public, outside and not hidden, always looking at each other.

there are so many shots in this ep where you can see they're both struggling and tired. and still they choose each other.

also the parallel that pat asks pran to not talk about something, where the last time at the village pran asked pat. ugh this show.

i really love the domesticity

and pran never chilling with the manipulate malewife vibes

also the way pat looks at pran in this ep.

and patpran in the foreground with tong and yod in the back. like a sign of: people can stick to what they believe in and still get old and live good lives, even if its tiring. this show doing the queer it gets better shit but in one shot and perfectly.

the emotional turmoil is never about their relationship for pran they're a certainty. through the whole episode it's clear that they're grappling with their parents and the fallout and not with each other and i deeply appreciate that.

the space to have complicated difficult emotions without it becoming a problem in your relationship, that's some rare shit (in a bl but also in life lol).

his stare omg

this fucking line and the confidence of its delivery. pran has never doubted pat this whole time and it fucking shows. god.

this top tier pran face. truly 11/10, incredible.

i love this speech. it fully makes me cry every time.

also, relationships are hard. and the things you like about someone can change, they can become annoying to you, or they can disappear. the fact that the thing they both chose about each other are, being nosy enough to be helpful and being a lot in every way, they're saying that they know that the other person isn't perfect and nor is their relationship. but they chose them anyway, because of it and not despite it.

just yeah, they deserve so much of this and more. i'm so glad they get it.

:')

babieees

and the other conversation that also leaves me in tears (this ep is just tears for me).

it's pat coming back to pran's 'as long i have you' and responding in kind. letting him know that pran's enough for him too, and they can hide and live how they need to because he's realized that.

it is heartbreaking that this is what they have in the end. it's the ending that pran had already realized and accepted, finally being acknowledged by pat. because they might not be breaking up but they are. they're losing the relationship they could have had, an easy comfortable one supported by everyone they know, and instead have to carve out a tiny space to survive. and they do it because they know that this space is precious to them, but it's still fucking sad that they had to. (and again, this show is so queer, because these are the relationships and decisions that so many queer people have to make every fucking day and bb conveyed it so well and with such nuance)

and then this song, which i love. and this lovely incredible inkpa moment.

but also the fact that kornwai show up in this montage and then didn't get together. like p'aof knew what the fuck he was doing. and yes, unlike the other two couple they're leaning away from each other, but fuck you can't just drop them into a love song montage and not have it imply things. it implies things!!!

ok so i'm sure no one was thinking about this but this scene reminds of this fucking k3g scene where the father comes and blesses the couple and my mind can't let it go. because it feels like with the line "the world didn't change me either" tong gave his blessing for patpran to live the life they wanted to lead. and idk i'm always emotional about k3g connections.

and this final shot, to really just dig in the knife in my heart. the closing with the knowledge that this will be the last time in a long while that pran gets to sing out his love for pat, and that part of them choosing each other is sacrificing other parts of their dreams.

i'm just fully not ok about this ep and likely never will be. i'm sure that is clear from the ramblings above.

#bad buddy ep 11 #bad buddy #badbuddyrewatch #this episode wreaks devastation upon me #and i thank it

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